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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (88,286)
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11/30/17 10:41 P

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Mitzy, it's a good idea to get your sugar checked. I know that my metabolism on Latuda is shot. It does help a lot with the depression and hallucinations, so I stay on it. I just know that people on my diet lose about twice as much in the same time as I have, and I'm much stricter than they are- so something's wrong. My blood sugar is good because I don't eat any sugar!

Frida, you take such pretty pictures! You live in such a beautiful area... I hope your event went well!

--------------

I got a new mattress and bed frame! I have a canopy bed now! I don't have a canopy on it yet, but I've always wanted a canopy bed, so I'm very happy about it! I'm kinda tired... I slept really well last night on my new mattress, but I overslept. I think I needed the sleep. I'm getting used to the mattress... it's a memory foam, so I feel like I'm in the middle of it no matter where I am. I'm kinda scared of falling off it in the middle of the night lol. Angela likes it.. She's curled up next to the laptop, just being cute. It's hard to get out of bed.

Mentally I think I'm in a better place. I know the Topamax is changing my memory. I went to the eye doctor today and I couldn't remember the name of Topamax, then I said it and 2 seconds later I forgot it. I'm seeing auras in the morning, but the eye doctor said it could be migraine related. I don't feel too much depression, but I have been feeling a bit of rage that's mania related. I think I've been a bit hypomanic lately, but I'm not sure. I just need to really journal and get it out. I haven't journaled in a couple of days because I haven't turned on my laptop with all the room stuff going on. I'm just trying to get stable. The Topamax is helping with that, I can tell, but at the same time it's just really hard with the memory problems. I'm just going to keep trying it out for now.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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11/29/17 7:16 P

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To day was a quite good day.. I got quite a bit done preparing tomorrow evening where I have arranged an event
And I got further with some ceramics and I got around to order some timber work
For me a good day is when I get Things done
About being thankful: I am thankful that I have a good Health
Here is a november Photo from near by


Edited by: FRIDA11 at: 11/29/2017 (19:18)

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11/29/17 6:02 A

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Saw my psych doc yesterday. She's bumping up my Latuda again because I'm not really getting any relief from depression. She sent me to the lab for a blood draw to check my sugar. It was checked in May but Latuda can cause trouble. I'm tired all the time and don't have any interest or motivation.

If nothing ever changed there'd be no butterflies.
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11/25/17 6:44 P

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I hope it goes well, too. I'm not a vindictive person, but I'm just trying to get him to pay what he owes and get me off the hook.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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11/23/17 7:43 P

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This isn't my first go-round on the Lamictal. I've been on and off it since 2009 now. I've had to stop it though my 3 pregnancies. It does a good job of keeping my cycles in check. Anti-depressants alone cause me to rapid cycle. It used to just be the manic highs that I really felt, but thank you to PPD for making those lows feel especially low these days. I see my psychiatrist for meds every couple of months as long as things are going well. Besides that I see my therapist for psychotherapy every 3 weeks.

@LARISSA238 - I'm sorry for what you're going through with the post-Geo fallout right now! I hope it all gets cleared up quickly.

Audrey
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11/22/17 11:04 P

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I don't like carbs anymore. I want to go back on my diet right after Thanksgiving. I feel like crap, my stomach hurts, I'm getting hypomanic and grumpy. I haven't weighed myself since I'm scared to see how much I've gained.

So much drama with the ex. I don't know if I said it here, but I got a bill from the apartment complex in a text from him for $1,564 and I was going to pay it and have him pay me back. I didn't know where I was going to get the money (unless I borrowed it from Richard and my brother), but I had 2 months to pay. I talked to a legal aide and he told me a lot of good info. I wrote a letter to the apartment complex and my ex (same letter, just need copies) and I need to get it notarized. I went to do it today but they were closed. It basically says that I'm not responsible for the damages and to go after him, since he's in Florida and I'm not. With the wording of the letter, they can't hit my credit, I'm across the country so they can't evict me, and so I don't have to pay. The legal aide told me under no circumstances should I pay it. So I'm not going to. Let him pay it! He should get in trouble for the damages he did, not me.

Screw him (I've been using other words to express myself, as well as a certain finger), I'm not enabling him anymore. I cancelled the insurance on his phone. If he breaks it, it's his fault and he has to pay for a new phone. He's a narcissist and an abuser, and I don't want to help him any more. I don't need to do anything more than what's in the contract. It's been bugging me for a while, but I just need to let it go.

Med wise I'm doing okay. I took more Topamax last night and slept for 11 hours. I don't know if it was that, or just me being exhausted. I haven't been sleeping well, and I took some more Neurontin to help me sleep, too. I will see how I'm doing tomorrow with the increase. I physically felt like crap today and I had to skip my CoDA meeting. I just couldn't bike since it felt like someone was stabbing me in the stomach from eating carbs. Just 2-3 more days of this and I will be back eating my diet. I honestly can't wait. Carbs suck!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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FRIDA11's Photo FRIDA11 SparkPoints: (27,701)
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11/22/17 10:42 P

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A sideaffect of Lamictal is getting rapid cycling. This medication has been used earlier against epilesy - but is not any more because of this side affect.
Maybe it can be used against depression ???


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11/22/17 10:28 P

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Denmark is a very special country.. despite we only have 5-6 million inhabitants Denmark is the 3rd largest export country of medicine. Especially anti psychotic medicine.
In the last 8-10 years children in a big number are also given medicine against psychological or social or behavioral problems.
US is the largest exporting country of medicine in the world. But US has 250million inhabitants which makes a difference. Any way I have noticed that in 3 groups in SPARK PEOPLE medicine and the change of medication is seen as a problem solution rather than psycho therapy or using a psychologist..or changing life style - food etc...
This wonders me as American therapists and psychologists are known for being the best in the world and are often used for tutoring Danish therapists..
I imagine it is maybe mostly rich people who can afford psycho therapy???
I am not against meds for short term use. Here it can be of good benefit to prevent a more serious condition and can be the best way in case of depression or lack of sleep for days - especially when we use it ourselves and KNOW the maximum dose. emoticon

Edited by: FRIDA11 at: 11/22/2017 (22:36)

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11/20/17 12:48 A

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Been feeling a bit better lately... I'm going to up my Topamax tonight so I can see the change in my eye pressure on the 30th. I like it now. I had some memory issues, but they have been resolved. I didn't feel like myself for a while, but that's because I became less codependent and more like my old self. I have less tolerance for BS, which my old friend didn't like, but if she wants to just talk about her boyfriends on TV and not talk to me, then that's fine. We don't have to talk if that's the case. She doesn't like that idea, but I'm fine with it.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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11/19/17 4:10 P

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I had been rapid cycling earlier this month. Back on my Lamictal as of yesterday. I don't really feel any different yet, but little man seems more miserable. Not sure if that's the meds to blame or those nasty teeth coming in.

Audrey
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11/19/17 7:36 A

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Hello to all of you beautiful people! I have caught up on all of your posts for this month. Sending out positive thoughts and well wishes where needed.

I am still battling with depression. My psych doctor upped the Latuda again but I don't feel like it's helped. I can't take antidepressants because they cause me to switch into mania. I don't exactly feel particularly sad I just don't have any motivation to do and no interest in things. I end up doing only what I can't get out of doing. Otherwise, I am content to just do nothing. The good news is my weight is slowly coming down.

If nothing ever changed there'd be no butterflies.
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11/9/17 8:25 P

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Larissa,
Glad u are out of the abusive relationship.
It is hard to believe we are in that type of relationship until we get away.
Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (88,286)
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11/9/17 2:46 P

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Heather, boundaries are scary! I'm in CoDA to learn about them and form healthy relationships. It's hard, but it's worth it. I've grown a lot because of it and managed to stay away from my abusive ex. I have to go a domestic violence intake for therapy because of the control and manipulation from him. I'm just glad I'm out! I know you are healthy enough not to get into something like that! Keep up the good work with your new guy friend. I know anxiety is hard, but he seems understanding enough.

Angie, good luck with the knee! I hope it means more freedom for you!

-------

Like i was saying, I have to do a domestic violence intake for my new therapist. It's kinda scary, thinking that what I went through was that bad, but it might be. It's just been rough. I finally can admit that he was abusive without thought. Now I have to get to admitting it was domestic violence without thought. I just realized he is a narcissist this week, and that was a big one. It's been a long, hard week.

My week hasn't been without fun, though! I went to a Katy Perry concert last night, VIP box seats! My aunt won tickets, so it was 20 of us! I had an amazing time, surrounded by family and friends. I knew more of the songs than I realized. It was really a one-of-kind experience, and I'm going to see Thor today. I got MoviePass, so I'm going to be going to seeing a lot of movies. I'm feeling really good in general, just dealing with a lot.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 465
11/7/17 8:30 P

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I have been having troubles with fatigue and weakness as well as troubles with my periods. Finally had enough and went into the doctor to see what was up. They ran all sorts of bloodwork on me as well as an ultrasound. No news on the ultrasound, but my thyroid levels are low. Thank you, lithium, for adding one more med to my schedule, and this one takes extra preparation to take (no food for an hour after taking it). The levels explain a lot of what I have been dealing with lately. Never had a problem with my levels before, but apparently lithium can mess with how the thyroid works. Well, it did.

Went to lunch last week with a nice guy from one of my gatherings and had to excuse myself early thanks to an anxiety attack. He thought it was because of something he said--I got back in touch with him and explained a little more what is going on and we are trying again tomorrow. Hopefully I don't have misfiring brains (that will teach me to go into a high stress situation in a crowded restaurant. Wednesday should be fairly laid back). Wish me luck!

Starting to realize that I am not looking for a relationship right now, but searching out people to spend time with. So I get to set boundaries and stick to them. Which is scary. Very scary.
--Heather



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11/4/17 2:12 A

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Well it is official. I am getting a new knee on November 22. Anxious, but I have waited a long time for this!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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11/3/17 2:04 P

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Have a wonderful day tomorrow, Julie! I hope your wedding is beautiful!

Carol, I hope things get better for you! You know I care and I've been thinking about you! ((hugs))

Audrey, cycling isn't good... I hope things get more stable!

Stay safe, Angie! Long time no hear, I hope you are doing well!

------------

So the Topamax was making me high the first couple of nights. I don't know if it was the spirits (Dia De Los Muertos) or what, but I felt possessed for a bit for the 2 nights of it. It was a bit crazy. I feel good now, and it was only the night doses, not the morning ones. I kept taking it because it was just the night and when I took it in the morning I was okay. My first dose was in the afternoon and I was fine, then when I took it that night it was crazy. Then I decided to give it another chance the next morning and I was fine. Then I took it the next night and it was less crazy. Then I took it yesterday morning and I was fine. I took it last night and I was pretty good. I think I'm going to keep taking it, even though it's making me gain weight. I don't know why... It's supposed to make you lose weight.

My Suicide Prevention Walk is tomorrow. It's a fundraiser, so if anyone wants to donate (you TOTALLY DON'T HAVE TO) you can with the link in my signature. You can also read a bit of my story in the link, too. I walked 4.84 miles yesterday to prepare... It's just a 2.4 mile walk, but I wanted to be sure. I'm going to try and do about 3 today. I don't know if it's going to be okay with my new shoes, but if it's not, I can just get a ride.

Oh, and on another note, IM FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M F*CKING FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I paid the last bills for Geo and I'm done! I paid them this morning. Y'all are the first to know. I haven't told anyone yet. I'm SO HAPPY!! I can't describe how nice it feels to finally be free of the abuse and crap. *happy sigh*

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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SASSYCATMAMA40's Photo SASSYCATMAMA40 Posts: 399
11/3/17 10:25 A

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Still waiting for things to calm down. After next week things should be better. My wedding is tomorrow, I close on my house (selling it finally!) hopefully next week, my metformin (for pre-diabetes) isn't working.....

here comes the short days, so that isn't good for me either. Going to pull out my light box. Does anyone else do light therapy?

jp

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11/2/17 6:11 P

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@KAUAICAROLANNN I'm, sorry you're stuck going through such a stressful period.

I'm still cycling. Looking forward to my therapy session in the morning. My MRI yesterday showed no cause of my paresthesia. I'm wondering now if it's just related to the bipolar and all psychological.

Audrey
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ANGIEN9's Photo ANGIEN9 Posts: 3,772
11/1/17 11:35 P

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Snow here in Montana. Slick roads.We jumped from an Indian Summer to winter!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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11/1/17 7:21 P

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A bit psychotic... don't know if I like Topamax yet or not

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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11/1/17 5:04 P

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I haven't been around much in the aftermath of hurricane Harvey, August 25th.
We flooded and it's been a nightmare trying to get things done. I've been up in Indiana for 6 weeks. Had to leave due to construction on the townhouse and my dearest friend had hip replacement surgery & also needed help.

Heading home this weekend, not looking forward to the 19 hour drive, but oh well. The kitchen is nothing but bare sheet rock, no cabinets, counter tops, appliances, running water...ugh! Probably another 2 weeks for cabinets and 4 weeks for counter tops. Means that if everything goes as planned it will have taken us 4 months to recover from Harvey.

Edited by: KAUAICAROLANNN at: 12/2/2017 (16:06)
Carol - Houston, TX (it's weird to see this and not Kaua'i, Hawaii)

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Better sleep. Better mornings. Better energy.
Better fat loss. Better strength. Better mood.

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Water them with worry & fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism & solutions, you will cultivate success ~Lao Tzu


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11/1/17 3:30 P

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emoticon New month! And there's no doubt it's fall now!

I've been cycling the past few days. Manic on Saturday and Yesterday, Depressed Sunday and today. Had to get up early today for a brain MRI. Hoping they find the reason for my paresthesia. Isis has a cold... has had it for a little over a week now. Well now little man has it too and it's making him miserable.

Audrey
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