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9/28/17 10:17 A

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I'm doing mostly good. A little overwhelmed by life, but when aren't I? LOL. Hubby had "man flu" last week so we're still catching up with chores. The girls are whiney and a pain in my ass as usual as well. I wish they could stop their constant bickering and stop biting each other when they get mad.

Right now with the Prozac, I'm doing "decent". For the first time in a long while I'm taking a little more pride in myself. Shaving regularly, using my own shampoo instead of just whatever Rob uses, using my pretty shower gels, using my whole face regimen instead of just washing it. But I'm still catching myself crying a lot. I'm also concerned that without the mood stabilizer I'm going to go manic. As for other meds, I don't know. I've been on so many that haven't worked out, I'm not sure what's still available to me.

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9/27/17 2:57 P

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Heather, I'm sorry you are struggling. It sucks when you miss a dose and everything falls apart. It happens to me, too, to answer your question. I start to get depressed and hallucinate if I miss a dose, or even drink a couple of drinks. I use an app called Medisafe on my phone. I set it for when I need to take my pills, and it vibrates and makes a noise when I'm supposed to take my pills. When it goes off, you can mark the pills that you took and see if you missed one. If you don't take it right away, it reminds you again 10 minutes later. It's pretty cool and free! But yeah, even if I take my pills late by a couple of hours it sets me off. I hate being on meds, but it's better than being in the hospital or dead!

Audrey, how are you? I hope you aren't falling apart too! I don't know what it's like being pregnant or breastfeeding on meds (or without them). I hope the Prozac being raised is a good thing, and that you don't have to go back on Lamictal while you are breastfeeding. Are there other meds that you can take? I don't know much about Lamictal since I got the rash (twice) and so I don't know how easy it is to get off (or get a baby off!).

-----------------

I'm doing better for the most part. I'm feeling more stable rather than numb. I was talking to my therapist about a lot of things, and I really like her! I signed up for a new psych at the LGBT center and I have my intake on November 1st. It's a lot closer. My current psych is downtown, my appointments are during traffic and all that fun stuff, so having it in Hollywood at the LGBT center is a lot better. I went there with my friend Sandra (she goes there because it's walking distance from her apartment) and I was like "I'm back with my people! It's been too long!" and just really liked the vibe. I'm a lesbian or bi. I know I was with Geo for almost 12 years, but I really prefer women, so I'm not sure. I was raped and so I don't enjoy being with a man, but I think I could be bi if I got over the trauma. I'm not sure if I care enough, though. There is a girl I like but I'm not looking for a relationship (and she's 10 years younger!).

Anyway, I'm doing good! I'm just trying not only survive life, but to live life (like they say in CoDA). I'm enjoying my time here now, and trying to feel again.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/26/17 11:05 A

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Man, I feel like we're all falling apart here. Good luck to everyone job hunting! It's not something I miss doing and am so happy to be lucky enough to not have to worry about it. I hope everyone having med issues becomes adjusted soon! I'm dealing with some side effects from raising my Prozac from 20 to 40mg daily. I think the worst of that has passed, but I'm not sure raising the dosage has had the effect that I need. I might have to go back on my Lamictal which I hate to do with nursing. Weaning Isis was a nightmare, and I don't want Colt to have the same dependency.

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9/25/17 10:48 P

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Pulled a great move this morning: forgot to take my meds. I felt wrong by 10. I took an alprazolam and it didn't help. Life folded in on me and, looking back at my Facebook posts, I got pretty bad. 2pm rolled around (and I am in tears). I opened up my med case...and found that I missed my morning dose. I am quite a bit better now, but still pretty darn depressed.

So here is the question: how long does it take you to fall off the deep end after missing a dose of meds, or do you fall apart at all?

I had troubles even doing basic thinking. Had to write down what I was going to say for a basic phone conversation. Crying, anger at the dog (not his fault, he knows something is wrong and tries to let me know), anxiety through the roof. This shouldn't happen with one single dang dose missed.

The doc said that it means that the BP is still not controlled (ya think?), but I just want it to even out. Obviously going off of meds isn't an option, even though I dream about it every time I open my med case.

Filled out an application for a job today--have to drop it off tomorrow.Called and checked with the front desk to see if they were hiring instead of the man I talked to this morning and they said they were not hiring. I will drop the application by tomorrow morning anyway--maybe with a note that reads, "Call me when you need a warm body to replace someone." Realized while writing out the form that I am about as employable as a senior in high school. Have to work part time. Have not worked for the past four years, and even before then was only doing a max of 15ish hours a week for six years. Only worked a full 40 hour work week for two summers when I was in high school. And with my rheumatoid arthritis my body could fall apart at any time with no warning, unlike a typical 18 year old.

I tossed myself full force into editing my book to keep from thinking about anything else. Then finished a round of edits today and feel lost. I am one step closer to being published but can't handle the rejection right now from agents so I have not submitted it for review.

I am rambling. And just feel useless and lost right now. The yard is a wreck. The dog has been mostly ignored. The house is a mess. Exercise has fallen by the wayside (though I am planning on getting out and swimming tomorrow morning). Am angry with my neighbors and can't get them to understand why. I am worried about the state of the US in so many ways that I won't get into here--but healthcare or lack thereof is a biggie. So many things I CAN do something about but haven't, then the things I CAN'T that I sit and worry about. Have had to take my alprazolam to get to sleep more often than not lately and I don't want to build up a tolerance to it.

Dammit. I just want to feel something approaching normal. Some way to know that I can actually manage to work--if I can find a job at all.



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9/24/17 12:34 A

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Deb:

I'm off antidepressants except for 150 mg of Trazadone. Anything else makes me manic with Keto. I'm on 2400 mg Neurontin (gabapentin) which is good for me. I don't have kidney issues and it doesn't make me hallucinate. I got off a bunch of meds, and now I'm "just" on Neurontin, Geodon, Latuda and Trazadone for sleep. I got off Klonopin, Seroquel, Prozac, and many others from 2016. Klonopin was hard, and I got bad withdrawals from the Prozac, but I'm glad I'm off of them.

--------------------

I'm doing better today. I got about 11 and a half hours of sleep and I feel much better! I went to go see the new Kingsman movie today and had a lot of fun! I wanted to sleep more, but I knew I had to get up not only for the movie, but to also just start my day. I didn't get up till noon! I'm happy and content. I might sleep well again tonight. My mind is a lot calmer, and I'm watching my favorite wrestling show since they had a great deal on it! I know it's fake, but it's fun to watch for me. I'm not thinking about spending tons of money anymore, either. I almost bought another FitBit, but instead I'm going to get another fitness tracker, a cheaper one LOL! I need a watch since mine keeps on breaking and I want a fitness watch to count my steps and all of that. I just don't need the brand name of FitBit. I've been spending too much money and I really need to reign it in. I don't have much to spend right now, so I just have to be careful.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 15,271
9/23/17 6:26 A

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Wow Cherie, it is so good to hear that, after working with your doctor you have come up with a great plan which is working for you. I hope that you enjoy your new found happiness and weight loss. You deserve it!!

Larissa, Good morning to you !! I wish I could sleep for more than 6 hours on a daily, or even semi weekly basis. I'm so sorry that you are cross and irritable much of the time. Similarly to Cherie, I am slowly weaning myself off of medications which I have been on for years. They are contributing to my brain fog and my poor memory. I was shaking so badly I could barely even write my own name. I was so over medicated. I have weaned myself off of everything except my basic Bipolar meds - Abilify and Wellbutrin - and dropped all dosages of Gabapentin, mirtazapine, and Topomax. I was at such high dosages for all of those medications and they were ineffective. I have learned how to cope so well with CBT that I am able to quell my anxiety with coping skills, so the Gabapentin is no longer necessary. I was on 900 milligrams a day. That is too much and I hear terrible things about Gabapentin, such as it is hard on your kidneys and it can cause hallucinations in some people. I can deal with my anxiety in other ways now. If I have to go back on something I don't want to go back on that in the future. The other two medications are antidepressants to help me sleep. I weaned myself off those antidepressants because, they were totally ineffective. They also made me gain weight. The high dosages were simply not doing their job. I can sleep for six hours with or without those meds, so I choose to do so without. Two Trazadone and a couple of melatonin a night are good enough to relax me to go to sleep. Six hours a night is good for me. I am pretty proud of myself for readjusting my meds. I also take Amantadine for restless legs and have been able to cut down on that dosage too. So, from six meds to two at night now. Yay !!! I feel so much better and the shaking has stopped. I have been relying on medication to do what exercise and eating right does and that is ridiculous. I no longer shake and my memory and cognizance is improving every day. I feel so much better.

I hope that everyone else is well and not in bad space. Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy your time with family and friends. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

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9/23/17 1:58 A

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Cherie, I'm glad you feel good!

I'm hanging in there by a thread. My irritability is really up, I'm not sleeping as much as I need, and I just took an extra Neurontin. I needed it.. I've been getting mad at Angela for no reason. I don't even yell at her, I just get annoyed and I don't pet her when she wants because she's being so needy. She knows there's something wrong with me, but since she's a cat all she can do is love me. I do need the love, but I just don't know how to deal with her like that. She slept by my head last night and we cuddled, which she never does, so that was nice. But she also tries to go in the window when I'm trying to sleep and it wakes me up. I just pick her up, move her, and tell her "Mooove" so she gets the message. Eventually she will learn. I don't know why I'm talking about her. I'm just tired and don't know what to say. Hopefully I can sleep more than just 8 hours tonight (which is not enough for me), and definitely more than the 6 that I got the other night. I don't have anything to do tomorrow until about 1 PM, so I hope I can sleep!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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EDWARDSC393's Photo EDWARDSC393 Posts: 2,322
9/21/17 12:19 P

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Hi all!

Had a great trip up in MI.celebrating birthdays.
My psych took me off, Latuda, depacote and lamictal. I gained weight, was depressed and was drinking everyday. Now I'm on Ritalin, lost some pounds, don't feel depressed. I take klonipin at nite with 2 advils and a muscle relaxer. I feel good!

Good luck everyone!

Cherie

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9/18/17 1:43 A

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Heather, it seems like you are stressing out too much! I know it's hard- I do it all the time! But sometimes less thinking is more. I know that you have a lot on your plate, looking for a job and all of that. Maybe take a day off from looking to get a nice outfit? I know you are looking for work so you don't have money. Is there a Goodwill near you? I got a bunch of really nice stuff from there for cheap. I don't know if you have an appointment with the NM department or not, but if you don't then maybe take tomorrow to get ready? It must be really hard. I was looking for work, and my clothes don't fit, either. But I just tried to stick it out until I landed up in the hospital. Turns out the 4 biggest (normal) stressors in life are Divorce, Looking for Work, Moving, and Death. I had all 4 when I ended up inpatient!! No wonder lol! I'm still working on them, but I'm pretty much settled at home and no longer looking for work, but I'm not dealing with the "divorce" and my mom's death. Basically, just take your time and deal with the stress coming up in the best way you can. Use your coping skills! Stress can be a good thing if we think of it as a good thing, believe it or not! Just remember that it's your body preparing for something new. I can't really explain it well here, but just know I'm here for you and I want to help!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/17/17 10:53 P

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Normal to MANIC to depressed and then all of the above in waves. That has been today. Currently manic and anxious waiting for the meds to go to work.

I am finally back to seriously looking for a job and it scares the hell out of me. I know I am not ready for a forty hour work week and not many people here are hiring part time. I am going down tomorrow to our workforce solutions office (NM State run office) so long as I don't chicken out. I don't want to do McDonalds or Dominoe's, but I will if I have to. The only other options are Nusenda Credit Union, who I already applied for and never heard back from, and Wells Fargo--also a teller position.

Did I mention scared? I don't think I can handle cash the way I need to--fast. I can barely keep numbers in my head as it is, but I don't want to do fast food and I won't know unless I try.

Ran into a problem today: most of my nice clothes are either way too big or still a size too small. I found two shirts that will work for now and skirt. The pants I found need some serious alterations to work and I will need help to do it as I am just not that sewing skilled. My purse currently is a handbag of holding--no really, that is the name of it--and it does indeed hold absolutely everything I need. And more. But it is not exactly a business appropriate bag and my only other option needs some leather patching that I can't do right now because all my leather tools are buried. ARG!

So I am depressed about not having a job and my current prospects, and angry at myself for not living up to my own standards, and anxious because of my plan for tomorrow. All at once.

But eventually the meds will kick in. Then I will just be depressed. Damn. What a night. Here is hoping that I can fake it long enough to get through whatever interview process they have.
--Heather



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9/15/17 11:54 P

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Deb, take care! I had fires close to me last month, but I was nowhere near danger at the same time. The fire was close, but it would have to burn through tons of houses to get to me. I knew that was never going to happen, and out now. Make sure to take care of yourself... I know you are concerned about the firefighters and that's great, but if it's hard for you to breathe then maybe you should stay at home. I don't know much about your situation other than what you are saying, I'm just a bit worried. But great job on all your exercise! I did a bunch this week, but not enough for a Top Miler badge, sadly. I feel bad for you and your therapist situation... I would hate to have to change so often. It's bad enough that I had to change again after moving, and then maybe again soon if I change insurance.

-------

I'm doing okay. I saw my new psych today and I like him. He listened to me and didn't want to change my meds except for an increase in my Geodon. I'm a bit mixed today... I was up late last night for no reason and so I only got like 6 hours of sleep. I'm tired and I want to go to sleep soon. I've been taking my Latuda with my coffee (over 350 calories, believe it or not) so that's been good. I might go to the pharmacy tomorrow to get my increase in my Geodon... I need to talk to Richard about that. I do want to go back to my old psych and therapist but I have to wait until probably next year to do it. *sigh*

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/15/17 12:02 P

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Hi everyone,

Well, it looks like many of us are starting out with new therapists and doctors. My doctor is fine, but my therapist is leaving before my next appointment, so I am waiting to be assigned a new therapist from the pecking order. They will hire someone to take Todd's place, but I will have to start all over again with this new therapist from scratch. I hate having to do that. I have been going to my mental health clinic for over 15 years and counting. I have had to train seven therapists in that amount of time. The last four have been within the past year and a half. I don't know what is going on with the clinic that they are losing therapists so fast, but I suspect that it has to do with compensation. I am sorry to see Todd go, but he has to do what is best for him and his family.

I have been volunteering to help with the fire that is raging in my area. I go up the Gorge to help out with meal prep and distribution to the fire fighters. So, far a 15 year old's grand idea of lighting a firecracker into the Gorge about 10 days ago, has spread to 37,000 plus acres, taken three residences and some out buildings, made hundreds evacuate and possibly hundreds more if this thing isn't squelched. They have it 23% contained, but it is spreading down the Gorge West to the next town in line. Evacuations may be imminent for those people soon. We are expecting rain - significant rain, thank God - this weekend and all next week. We really need the rain right now to help save the animals and the Gorge.

Cherie, I hope that you have a smooth move and that you are happy with your new home. I hope that you can find quality psychiatric care as soon as you move to the area. Diane's ideas are wonderful.

Diane, I sure hope that your new therapist works out for you. I can so relate to new therapists, although I don't have to change psychiatrists. I hope that you do not have to be put on a new medication like Zyprexa or something that controls hallucinations. Right now I am weaning myself off of several medications that they have me on for anxiety and night time rest. They are no longer working well for me and I find that two Trazodone and two gels of Melatonin work just as good as the medications that I was on. If they no longer make a difference in my medication regimen, then I am dropping those medications. I just found out that Gabapentin is very hard on the kidneys, so I want off of that one for sure as soon as possible.

Other than volunteering four hours a day up the Gorge, I am not doing too much right now. I am weaning myself off medication, as I have mentioned slowly, so that I do not garner any negative side affects from the withdrawals. I am glad to come home every night, because the smoke from the fire kicks in my asthma when it gets too bad. It is quite smokey, because they are lighting back fires around the populated areas to help stop the fire progression. It is also so close to the Highway that it is very smokey. I am using my inhaler when I am in the middle of the fire zone. Right now I am involved in the 5% Challenge In Between Challenge and I am racking up 200 exercise minutes a day due to the activity in the fire area. I am looking forward to the Fall 5% Challenge starting up soon. Once that starts I am busy, busy because I am a ML/WL - motivational leader and weight leader for the Rowdy Rebels. I hope that everyone is in good space today. Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
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9/15/17 12:53 A

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Hey Cherie!

I find doctors through my health insurance company- they normally refer you to someone. If not, then talk to your current doctor on the slim chance that they might know someone in your new city. If you don't have health insurance, then go online and google search for therapists and psychs in your new area and look at ratings. Then call who you want to see and give them a little interview on what you are looking for in a doctor. That's what I try and do at least. I just started seeing a new therapist last week myself. I called the ones my insurance company told me that they covered and then asked the therapists if they did DBT which is what I'm looking for. I'm currently looking for a new health insurance, so I might have to do this all over again.

------------------

I'm doing okay. The hallucinations have been acting up today. It doesn't help that there was this nasty spider in my bathroom window for the past couple of days. I finally gave in and killed it. I don't like killing animals, but this one looked nasty. It wasn't a black widow, but it was black and yellow with a red belly (I know what black widows look like- nothing like this spider). It's been scaring me, so I finally killed it.

I'm a bit hypomanic today. I went to a concert last night, my all time favorite band- the Goo Goo Dolls. I had a lot of fun, but fell off my bike on the way home. I'm fine, just a couple really minor scratches (I don't even really need a Band-Aid) but it was still scary. I was so full of adrenaline and hypomanic that I couldn't sleep for hours last night. I saw my therapist this morning and it went okay. It was actually really hard- she's new, so we were going over all this past trauma and it sucked! Oh well... that's what you have to do when you start a new one. I see a new psychiatrist tomorrow. I hope that goes well. I just need someone who will keep me on my meds and not mess with them. I know what I'm talking about with the meds, so I hope he respects that. Yeah, I know I'm hallucinating, but I'm doing okay otherwise. I don't want to start a new antipsychotic, I like my Latuda. Oh well.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/9/17 1:51 P

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Hi all!

Its been a while.

Had a bad medication crash last week. I was a mess, slept, couldn't eat, couldn't get my thoughts out. Been depressed. Working on staying away from not buying wine or sneakin it. Psych took me off a lot of meds, and put me on Ritalin. Its helping, I just have to watch so I don't get hyper. I want to shop, no money. Just don't feel like exerciseing, need too. Getting too fat!
Going to Mi next weekend for b-days. We will also be moving to Mi this fall sometime. It will be cheaper for us. But how do you find docs???

This weather!!!

take care, Cherie

I,m Cherie, Been with sparker for 3 yrs, I like that I'm losing it slowly! Its a lifestyle!


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9/8/17 9:47 P

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Heather:

It sounds like you did a lot of driving, but it seems like it was for fun things. I used to rapier fight in the SCA, so I love that you went! My brother used to go to Estrella for many years (in Arizona) and I always wanted to go. I just can't deal with that for too long. It's a bipolar thing... I would go manic. I have too much fun going to those things. I stopped the SCA when I moved to Florida. I might start fighting again... It was fun! I didn't have a card, I had to "sign my life away" every time I went to go fight (a release form). I hope your anxiety has calmed down! It sucks to be so anxious all the time. I just really started to get into contact with my anxiety... I thought that I was over it, and now it's showing itself. I don't get panic attacks, so that's the one thing I'm happy about. I wish that you could have expressed yourself to your grandparents in a constructive way... I know it's not possible a lot of the time. I'm trying to learn how to be assertive (not aggressive) and stand up for myself so I don't get the manic anger outbursts that I have been getting.

Audrey:

Have fun with your little man! I'm sorry that you forgot your Prozac... meds are essential and I always am afraid of running out. I love Halloween! It's my favorite holiday of the year, even more than Christmas lol. I love going to Haunts... I love being scared. I hope that you can get everything you need to get done, done, so that you don't get so overwhelmed. *hugs*

--------------

I'm worried. I shouldn't be watching TV.. It's all about Hurricane Irma. It's going to hit Miami, my old apartment is going to be flooded, everything ruined. My ex is not getting out. He's staying home, in an unsafe apartment that has at least an 80% chance of flooding (if not 100%). He's in the evacuation zone, on a flood plain near the coast (storm surge will hit), in an apartment that's not concrete with huge windows. It's stupid to stay there, but he's stupid. His mom is even stupider. She lives on higher (not much, Miami is flat) ground, in a hurricane-safe apartment (concrete, small windows) but she's leaving her apartment to go stay with Geo for the hurricane since he's not going to leave. I don't know what to do. I know that everything I left there I will never get back now. I asked for it too late.

He's being passive-aggressive, and outright calling me! I thought it was going to be about the hurricane, but it was about the f*cking internet! He's not going to have internet for weeks because the power is going to be out for weeks, the lines are going to flood, but he's calling me about the internet. I might call his mom to see if he's changed his mind... I'm just hoping he gets his butt out of there. He went through Hurricane Andrew (a Category 5, Irma might be a 4 but MUCH worse) and so he thinks he's going to be fine. I'm just happy I'm not there. If I was, I would leave him alone in the apartment and I would have gotten my butt back here to LA to safety.

Everyone is asking me if I'm happy to be in LA now with Irma coming, and I have to say yes! I lived in Miami for 11 years, with just a couple tropical storms and no hurricanes. I knew there was going to be a hurricane this year (if not more than one) in Miami, and I was right. I was keeping them away lol. Although it did rain for like 15 minutes last weekend because there was the very tip of a tropical storm (like, totally away from storm, not anywhere within 75 miles of us) that passed near us. But I know that I have to worry about earthquakes. I live on a hill, so no worries about flooding at least. *sigh* I need to get back to watching something other than news lol! I'm just stressed out about all of this. It's just so much to deal with, even though it's nothing that I do have to deal with.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/8/17 11:22 A

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My rear end got sore thinking of all that driving!!

I'm sorry about your anxiety. emoticon I've been experiencing some of my own as well. My girls are a little extra whiney getting used to being in a school schedule. It's more than I can handle. Throw in that I forgot to refill my Prozac so I went without it for a day. Little man is being christened this weekend. Afterwards we're going to Dorney Park to preview the Haunt. That's all a little anxiety inducing as well. Too much stuff to do. I'm definitely overwhelmed.

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9/7/17 9:23 P

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Doing okay here. Just got back from two weeks and 4500 miles of travel. Went from home in NM to South Dakota to see my grandparents, then to Alliance, NE for the eclipse (which was awesome by the way). Got back just in time to turn around the next day and drive back up to SD to take care of my dad's rental property. (And canned a half bushel of chokecherries into jelly). Finally, I got back and had a full day to prep before heading out to central CO for an SCA camping event (think renaissance faire but not for profit--all attendees are 'actors').

All told it was just under 4500 miles of driving so boy is my rear tired!

I have been struggling with my anxiety, despite the mania and depression being pretty much under control. Full on panic attacks are no fun. Leading up to those attacks is no fun. Thank god for meds that (usually) keep me out of the full on panic.

While I was up with my grandparents I realized just how polarized we are from each other and it brought up a flare of anger the likes of which I hadn't seen since I was manic. I did not scream--I imploded. I then picked myself up and pretended that everything was okay. I am good at pretending to be okay by this point.

Scared my mom during an anxiety attack--snapped at her big time for trying to touch me. She shrugged it off, but I could tell that I hurt her feelings. If I am sick in any way Don't. Touch. Me!

I pulled a good move in the last two weeks: I lost my rheumatoid arthritis meds. My replacements come in tomorrow (if the mail gets it to me). So I have the added 'fun' of steroids till I can stabilize on my meds, which will be at least two weeks. Till then: extra anxiety, massive food cravings, and screwy sleep schedules.

One good thing (besides having a blast for most of the trips): I didn't gain weight--in fact I lost weight. I got on the scale expecting to be depressed for a while and sat there looking at the numbers going, "Huh?" I'll take it!

So onward to less rambling and more book writing while listening to the rain and wind outside.
--Heather



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9/2/17 7:45 P

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Yeah, he's got his blankie.

Audrey
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9/2/17 5:38 P

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I'm so picky! If it's too cold I get migraines, if it's too hot I get mixed episodes. I just realized this morning that that's what's going on. I can't sleep, I have energy, but I'm depressed and don't want to get out of bed. I didn't get out of bed until almost noon again today. I had the air on all night but I still couldn't sleep. My mind was racing and I kept getting depressed. That's a classic mixed episode. I've been sleeping like crap even though I've been taking all my sleeping pills. I like the in-between seasons here- Fall and Spring. Those are the best.... Nice weather normally.

I got my bike... I'm going to put it together when it cools off. I'm trying to look at the good things now- I got a bike, and Richard bought it for me! He gave me the money for the bike, and I'm so happy! I didn't mention it yesterday because I was so annoyed and just looking at the bad things. I do that when I'm annoyed (hypomania for me is annoyance, mania is rage) and just see the bad. I wish that I could change that.... It's up to me! I'm starting to work on it. I called a friend last night and was talking about the good, and suddenly it didn't really matter that the bike was in a box- I have a bike, a FREE bike, and it's going to be great! I have wheels!

Audrey, keep taking care of your baby! I know you do :D I don't know what it's like to have one. Maybe cover him with a blanket if you think he's cold? I know you love him and want the best for him and that's why you don't want to put long sleeves for him. I know personally I would rather be cold than hot!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/2/17 9:45 A

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I'll trade ya'll for weather. I'm not a fan of the heat myself, but the cool air makes my joints hurt. At least the heat and humidity don't do that. Today's high is forecasted at 71, but right now it's 54. Too chilly for me. And it's one thing for me to layer myself up, but it's hard for me to decide how to best accommodate Mister Colt. I know he's probably chilly right now because I have a short sleeved onesie on him and a pair of pants, but I didn't want to put long sleeves on him for when it gets warmer later.

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9/1/17 11:31 P

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Deb, I'm doing okay. I guess I'm a bit b*thy since all those emoticons bugged me for some reason. I'm sorry, I don't mean to take it out on you.

I had an okay day. I was supposed to get my bike yesterday, but it was delayed until today. Then I get to the store and it's in a box! They couldn't even assemble it for me, and I was annoyed. Then as we are leaving the store, we see a fire really close. Like, I could see the flames! It was kinda scary. My house is nowhere near in danger since the store is a good distance away and there's a lot of city between us and the fire, but I was still a bit scared. Ashes were literally falling on our car and on us. I go to Costco and get a hot dog, no bun and it's okay. I get home and it's hot! I had some keto ice cream (Halo Top, best brand for diets!!) and I feel a bit better. But right now everything is annoying me. I'm going to journal a bit and get to the bottom of it. It might be the heat... It's still crazy hot and humid here. It rained a bit while we were on our way to Costco (and I was glad- that fire needs rain) but it just made it more humid. *sigh* I might post more when I feel better. I don't want to take all this annoyance out on y'all.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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9/1/17 10:07 P

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It's hot here too !! emoticon It is only in the low 90's here today, but will soar to 100 or better tomorrow through Tuesday of next week. emoticon We will have the 100 degree weather until then, when it comes back down to the 90's sheesh. Oh well, making the best of it!

Sending thoughts and prayers to KAWAIICAROLANN and everyone in harm's way. It is so hard to recover from a horrible act of nature like Harvey. I have donated money emoticon to the rescue efforts going on in the Houston area and that is about all that I can do from here in Oregon, except pray emoticon which is pretty powerful stuff. My heart emoticon goes out to everyone in all hard hit areas of, especially, Texas and those in Louisiana. Blessings to you all.

How are you Diane? I hope that you are feeling okay and have not gotten too uncomfortable there in L.A. Being from Fresno, I was used to 105 in the shade. The San Joaquin Valley is nothing but reclaimed desert. I live in Oregon now and it should be considerably cooler here, but it isn't. I don't mind hot heat with no humidity, but we have lots of humidity up here sometimes and that drives me up a tree.

I hope that everyone with children is getting back on track with school emoticon and fall activities. I am going to a football game emoticon at Jeni's old high school tonight. They have rebuilt and remodeled and they are having a dedication ceremony this evening for the newly changed school. We are going to that and then to their first football emoticon game of the season. I am excited to see what the new changes are to the school. Jeni is excited to go and meet her friends from high school there. Tomorrow we will be going across the river to watch a University of Oregon Ducks emoticon football game at my son's house in Vancouver, Wa. We may be gone overnight. emoticon I'm not sure yet if we will stay. He and his wife Allie went to the U of O and are avid Ducks fans, as we all are. It should be a great party emoticon with family and friends. I am excited. I have been working on the 5% Challenge ending figures for our team. I am finished with the figures, but need to consult with my EL on the graphics for the end of Challenge badges. I should have that finished by Sunday and I will be completely done with the Summer Challenge emoticon as soon as that is accomplished and I can relax and enjoy the In Between Challenge, until they are ready for us to make the Fall Challenge emoticon arrangements and send out the invitations.

I hope that everyone else is out of harm's way and that you are doing well. I will continue to support the efforts in Texas and to pray for all victims. Sending positive energy and hugs emoticon to all that need them. Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon



Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 9/1/2017 (22:09)
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9/1/17 4:20 P

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It's HOT here!!! The heat index yesterday was 113, and right now the heat index is 112. Is it Fall yet??

Sending prayers and love to Carol (KawaiiCarolAnn) because she is in Houston and was in Harvey's path!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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