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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
1/22/17 12:31 P

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It's been really quiet in here....hope everyone is doing the best they can possibly can!

My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 458
1/8/17 10:02 P

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The past week has been a rollercoaster. I had to start back up to a higher dose on my med that I hate (seroquel) and I am hating being asleep so much. On the other hand my mood still hasn't stabilized and I have to go up to see my (occasionally verbally abusive) grandparents. This road trip could be... interesting. At least my mother will be there too, though the grandparents are far harder on her than me. Family obligations. And we do love each other, we just...well... arg.
-H



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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 14,983
1/1/17 4:57 P

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Happy New Year - may 2017 bring health, happiness and many blessings to you all throughout the new year !! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
12/31/16 1:59 P

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Diane, he does work....and work plenty. But between pneumonia, 4 oral surgeries and then getting a secondary lung infection all since the middle of November, he's been around the house A LOT and he's not the best patient either. Because of the oral surgeries, he quit smoking, which is great but makes him cranky. He still puts that chewing tobacco in his mouth so there's no real excuse for having a nicotine fit...he's still using!

Anyway I need to run. His family does Christmas the week after and we should get on the road!

My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


 current weight: 265.0 
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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 14,983
12/31/16 12:21 A

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I hope that everyone has a really safe and Happy New Year's celebration. Wishing you all many blessings to you, your family and friends in 2017 !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 458
12/29/16 3:36 P

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Just got back from my second day this week of volunteering at the food pantry and boy am I tired! Lots of moving crates full of tortillas and eggs, along with packaging those same things. I have bruised all up and down one thigh where I rest the crate while opening the cooler door. It is worth it though! They need the help and I am glad to in. Not to mention I get in my exercise for the day!

No real change in the weight department, but I am feeling better so it is time for me to start swimming again... And lowering my portion sizes again. Time to actually use the scale again. It is not like I even have to dig it out--it sits on my counter. I just need to get my visual estimation of proteins on track for when I eat out. I have healthy items like salmon and green beans, but need to watch how much I am eating. I make sure to log it all, even if my estimations are off.

Happy new year! Stay warm and healthy.
-H



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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (83,969)
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12/27/16 4:21 P

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*hugs Carol* I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I think that's how Geo feels about me. I don't read his emails or texts, but I'm always trying to be near him. I'm at my mom's now, and a couple of nights ago we went on video Skype and I got to see him and I miss him so much! That's why I'm always near him... I feel love by being physically close to someone. Maybe your hubby is the same way. I thought he worked? Did he retire, or get injured? I'm glad you had a good Christmas and I'm so happy to hear how your mom was. My mom is doing good with me here and happy.

I don't know how to feel. My brother and sister are coming to visit my mom so we can all be together for my birthday, but I wasn't really asked my opinion on it. My brother and sister will be staying at a hotel and I will be here with my mom. She is very needy, and asks me to do everything. It's hard on me, and I don't want that on my birthday. I hope she asks someone else. It's been a hard trip for me... my mom is getting controlling- She asks me to make her a sandwich (when I have been making them for her the whole trip) and she tells me what bread to use (which I used every day, and so on), how to do this, how to do that and it drives me crazy. I finally had to tell her "Mom, did I make you a sandwich yesterday?" "Yes" "Was it good?" " Yes" "Can you trust me to do this?" "oookkkaayyy". I've been doing the dishes, taking out the trash, doing laundry, making my mom's bed.... doing things like that. I don't mind most of the time, but it's still stressful and I don't deal with stress well. I have been hiding out in my room for most of the trip, scared that if I go outside I'm going to hear "Diane....." and be doing things for an hour when all I wanted was a drink of water. Sorry for all the venting... it's been a long trip and I can't wait to go home and see my Geo. I leave tomorrow morning, and won't be home till late. I will have a safe trip and will try and post something to let you guys know I'm okay.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
12/26/16 11:54 A

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Happy December 26th! LoL

I thought yesterday was going to be much more difficult than it actually was. As a family we met at the memory care center Mom is at and had a Christmas lunch of sorts. She's been sleeping since the 15th of this month and eating maybe a couple bites of food a day. We expected more of the same yesterday, but she woke up, sat up and was hungry. I could hardly get food in her mouth fast enough. Made us all very happy to see her munching on every fruit imaginable, salami, toast and cheese. She wouldn't eat any food from anyone other than me, which was upsetting to Dad, but everyone told him it was great that she was awake and able to chew and swallow. So it was a good visit, well as good as possible given the circumstances of having Christmas with Mom, who is basically comatose 95% of the time.
Later hubs and I went to his daughter's house and had an hour with her and the grandson....he is so spoiled and got more than enough presents, but is a really good kiddo.

Hubs and I have had FAR to much "together time" and he's driving me nuts. I'm in the guest bedroom/office on my laptop and he keeps coming in, looking over my shoulder, reading my emails and saying nothing...just stands there. I don't care that he looks at the emails as I've got nothing to hide....but he just stands there...says nothing...and just stands there. Gah!
Other than working, coming home to eat dinner, showering and sleeping he really doesn't have any interests. Well, he does go to the range every so often (we're in Texas, yes we have firearms) and he'll bang-bang at targets, Which is great, but expensive as far as ammo goes and with limited funds not something we can do terribly often. He really has no other interests, so he just stands there....waiting for something, who knows what. Gah! Go back to work honey!
Anyway, he's a good man and takes very good care of me so I really shouldn't complain. He's been through a lot health wise this last 6 weeks so things have been different...errrr...difficult

My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 14,983
12/26/16 8:46 A

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I hope that you all had a very merry Christmas and spent it with lots of family and friends. I got a fitbit from Santa this year and I am tickled pink !! It will be such a help this next year and in all my challenges !! I am going to be online for a few days learning how to use this thing. It even tracks sleep and stairs. I will get to know how to use it wisely before the New Year. In case I don't see any of you, please have a Happy New Year !! Wow another year gone. It has been one of trials and happiness. It was an up and down year for me. I hope that I can keep a more level kneel this next year in 2017, but I suspect I will be in for the ride of my life. What can I say, I am bipolar. I will have ups and downs again, but I always hope for the best !! I hope for the best for all of you too !! Audrey will have her new baby and that is a joyful thing. I am sure if I sat here and thought about it, I could find a happy place for us all. emoticon Let me make a toast : here's to new beginnings and successful plans !! Hopefully all our wishes will come true if we try hard to make it so. Today starts my physical therapy for my knee. I am so excited about that too. Being able to walk again without props - crutches - will be wonderful !!It is finally time to get my mojo back. Although I'm sure it will be painful at first, it will get better with time. I plan to work hard and have a swift recuperation.

Hmattax I hope that you don't get too sick !! Relax and try to take good care of yourself. I absolutely hate getting sick in the winter time. I hope that your Christmas was wonderful. It sure sounds as if you had good food !! I overate as usual, but I will use the 5% challenge to help me lose any weight that I have gained.

A big hello and good luck in the coming year to everyone else !!

Sending positive energy and hugs to all that need them !! Take care and God bless !! Deb emoticon

Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 458
12/26/16 12:08 A

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Hi Deb, yup I make sure to enter in all my food and exercise on Spark. Even today with all the tasty goodies. I think the scale is in for another do though--I am getting/already am sick.

Here is to happy holidays with less random tears and not getting anyone else sick with me!

Edited by: HMKITTEN at: 12/26/2016 (22:06)

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JUSTPEACHYGA's Photo JUSTPEACHYGA SparkPoints: (11,968)
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12/22/16 9:35 A

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So nice to see your post DEB... made me smile :-)

Diane, I totally understand and am sending you hugs from over here in Georgia. Would your mom go for a gentle 10-minute walk with you? You could let her know you just want to walk with her slowly to just enjoy the air outside that way she isn't thinking you were wanting a fitness walk. Even those little tasks you are doing for 5 minutes, maybe put on some tunes with headphones to listen to while doing them so that it's a different type of noise that is upbeat and gives a "break" to your environment so to speak. One thing I am getting to learn from my daughter is the power of enjoying what the other person is looking at on their phone and sharing in it with them. So, could you possibly ask what one person at a time if they've found anything interesting or funny. If they have asking to see what they found. It's sort of a connection for the digital age now. Anyways, not trying to give solutions only. I am sending you hugs and hope it gets better. I think it is wonderful this time with your mother and that you want to be with her. Not many people are so lucky to have that desire and able to have it available.

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DEBTEVELDAHL's Photo DEBTEVELDAHL Posts: 14,983
12/22/16 9:01 A

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Hi everyone,

I hope that you are all making your last minute arrangements for Christmas if you celebrate it !! I still have all my wrapping to get done !!

Dianne , it's nice that you've made it home for Christmas with your Mom !! I know how boring it can become when you are a guest, stuck out in the middle of nowhere and there is nothing to do but sit and watch TV. Especially if you are the manic type, it can be very trying. Is Geo there with you? Or did he go to Oregon to be with his friends. Getting out to walk if you are able and it is not snowing or icy could be very beneficial. Do, you or Hmattax ever try to keep track of your eating habits and fitness requirements in a journal? Lately, I've found if I journal to document my food habits - when I eat, how I feel when eating, how I feel after a meal - and then record my fitness efforts for the day I do better at keeping on track. That is something that I learned through the Fall 5% Challenge and I've had so much success with my program that I am once again going to participate in the Winter 5% Challenge. I lost my 5 % and then some, even though I was hampered exercise wise by my bum knee from the accident I was in in October. Justpeachyinga, I loved the article. Thank you for posting it !! It reminds us of so many things that we may be guilty of doing - like just using the scale to determine progress. I like to measure to determine my progress. If I am shrinking anywhere I like to know it. I am also guilty of not necessarily getting enough rest , because I am manic most of the time.

I wish you all a happy holiday season and that your days be merry and bright !! Even if we are not in a place that we like to be, we all have blessings to count. As the year ends, I hope that it will bring you peace of mind and joy with the coming New Year !! Sending out positive energy and hugs to all that need them !! Blessings to you all !! Take care and God bless, Deb

Edited by: DEBTEVELDAHL at: 12/22/2016 (09:48)
Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance - Samuel Johnson
Deb
PST - Pacific Standard Time - West Coast
Portland, Or
Co leader of the Dealing with Depression team
ML/WL co leader of the Rowdy Rebels Summer Challenge 2018
Co leader of the Living with Bipolar Disorder


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (83,969)
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12/21/16 8:07 P

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HT- I do the same thing... every time I get close to 232 or lower, I sabotage myself and eat a lot. What was suggested to me is to not weigh yourself for a bit if you get stuck on the scale. I am on vacation at my mom's, so I don't get to weigh myself daily like I do at home. All I know is that I'm 238 fully clothed, with food and drink in my stomach and have not used the bathroom in a bit. When I weigh at home, no clothes, first thing in the morning after using the bathroom. So I don't know what I would weigh at home. On Saturday I will try to get an accurate weight for the challenge I'm doing.

I don't know what to do. I want to spend time with my mom but I'm going crazy up here. I have only been here for a couple days and I'm already going crazy. I'm sick of TV and that's all they do up here. Watch TV while playing games on their phones. I don't like to sit still for long (a couple hours max) and I can't just sit on the couch and watch whatever they are watching all day. I don't want to miss out on time with my mom, but I'm helping out in other ways, like doing the dishes or vacuuming or helping grocery shop, but that's just a couple minutes at a time (and they don't want me vacuuming while they are watching TV). I am in the middle of nowhere on a dirt road and it's really cold outside. I might brave the weather tomorrow and go for a long walk and see if that helps. I'm here for another week, so I have to find something I can do to alleviate the boredom. We are supposed to go see the Christmas lights in another town sometime, and I would like to do that. I'm thinking when my laptop battery gets low to go out with my mom and just read my Kindle while she watches TV, Right now I just need to decompress. Geo is not being a good listener, and I don't have a lot of friends to talk to, so this is my way of venting. I like being in my room here since it feels like my room at home. Well, my laptop battery is getting low, so I'm just going to post this and go out with my Kindle.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Summer, Winter, Spring 2018 Challenge Leader
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5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall 2016, Member.
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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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JUSTPEACHYGA's Photo JUSTPEACHYGA SparkPoints: (11,968)
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12/21/16 7:16 A

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Thought I would share this article I read that would be some good ideas to start chewing on as 2017 rolls in and we tend to reset our goals.
www.bphope.com/exercise-recovery-pum
p-
up-your-fitness-iq/

My favorite points were:
1) Breaking up 30 minutes into bite size chunks for those days in which 30 seems not doable.
2) Getting rid of the all-or-nothing attitude. A big thing for me.
3) Getting enough sleep which helps you have energy for working out and less likely to reach for sweets.
4) Measuring the wrong results. I need to find a better way to track my results so that I can see the progress with my fitness instead of the scale.

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HMKITTEN's Photo HMKITTEN Posts: 458
12/19/16 6:08 P

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Been at two hundred and I have run into a problem: self sabotage. For some reason my brain thinks that I should be holding on to the 200's and I can't figure out why. I used to have troubles thinking that I didn't deserve to be healthy (strange but so it goes), so I wonder if that is cropping up again. I have been eating strangely and underestimating calories for things like desserts (thanks to Christmas there are no shortage). It is time to get back to my normal eating.

Unfortunately (fortunately?) I have to be away from my house for two to three days per week. Volunteering with a food pantry that I really like up in town (90 miles away). Can I do that here? Sorta. But I like that place better. Problem is that I tend to eat out when at my parents' house. I need to take my food with me and stick to it more often or at least estimate my calories better while eating out. And no desserts. Dear Lord, no desserts. They are my weakness and I know it.

So I need to figure out a way to get past the guilt or whatever is causing this behavior. At least today, after three cups of tea, I managed to get out and go swimming in my brand new suit. It sorta fits. I need to find something with an underwire.

Anyway, good luck getting through the season with minds intact! Stay warm too, it is cold out there.



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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
12/18/16 11:10 A

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It's cold out there...everyone e safe!

My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (83,969)
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12/17/16 5:31 P

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Carol, I didn't have a good session with my therapist the other day, so I changed my departure date to my mom's to Monday and going to skip the session. She just seemed distracted and not discussing what I wanted to. I'm going to try and remember to call my old psych on Monday while I'm on the train to make sure she takes my insurance and make an appointment. She also has a therapist in her office, so I might see if she takes my insurance too. Make back to back appointments and get everything taken care of. I'm going to be at my Mom's for Christmas but I should be able to check in here. I got lucky. My stepdad's Christmas card came today in the mail with $100. I needed it. I had $0.52 in my bank. Anyway, I got to eat dinner so I will post another time!

~Rissa, AKA Diane

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Summer, Winter, Spring 2018 Challenge Leader
5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall, Summer, Spring, Winter 2017 Challenge Leader
5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall 2016, Member.
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Co-Leader of the Living With Bipolar Team!

"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
12/15/16 12:39 P

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Diane, how did your meeting go with your therapist yesterday? and did you get the appointment/insurance thing figured out for Monday? If you are leaving for your Mom's, it might be good to have that extra appointment before you leave. Just a thought.

Oh, my letters "w" and "b" on the lap top stick and sometimes double type. I try to catch the errors, but if you see missing/double letters, that's what's going on....can you say a little OCD going on here? LoL

My new Family Nurse Practitioner - Certified (FNPC) specializes in psych meds and works closely with the new psy doc I'll be seeing beginning January 2017. She is going to slowly take me off the Fetzima and slowly put me on amitriptyline. It's an older tricyclic antidepressant and she seems to think I'll do better on this than the wellbutrin. Never been on a tricyclic or even heard of it, but will do some googling to find out more. Anyone out there with any knowledge on this?
She said the makers of Fetzima said it took 4-6 MONTHS to titrate off the drug and we both agreed that was ridiculous and figured it was a ploy to get more $$ out of the patient as the stuff is crazy expensive.

Hope everyone out there is doing as best as possible!

Edited by: KAUAICAROLANN at: 12/15/2016 (12:41)
My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


 current weight: 265.0 
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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (83,969)
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12/13/16 9:06 P

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I don't know what to do. I have a meeting with my therapist tomorrow and then again on Monday. This is an error, since I don't see her that often. I don't know if I should take advantage of the situation and see her before I leave to my mom's on Tuesday. I'm not the most stable right now and I think I could use the extra time, but I have to convince her, and make sure my insurance company covers it. I think I'm going to switch to another therapist. I just don't fully trust her. I don't know what is holding me back, but I also don't fully like her. she is nice and all, but I just want to explore other options.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Summer, Winter, Spring 2018 Challenge Leader
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5% Challenge, Cloverleafs Fall 2016, Member.
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"Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of All" ~Whitney Houston


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KAUAICAROLANN's Photo KAUAICAROLANN Posts: 70
12/13/16 7:50 A

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Sounds like we all have plenty going on...and it's the holidays which doesn't make things any easier. I'm not sure how I managed to own/run/work my own business for so many years. I guess it's something you have to do if you have to. It's looking more and more like I'll have to go back to work after the beginning of the year because our insurance costs are doubling while the coverage is going down = more $$ to even visit the doctors.
Hubs was in the hospital a month ago for 3 days with pneumonia and doesn't seem to understand there's a $5000 deductable we have to pay upfront and insurance will only cover 50% of costs....that they APPROVE. Which means a $10,000 bill easily, if not more. Sometimes I think he lives in lala land, LoL (but it's not really funny).

I go back to my new FNP, Norma this afternoon. I really like her and she works closely with the psychiatrist in the family practice center where my regular doctor is as well. I'm happy that all my "people" are under one roof but I'm not real happy with the LCSW/talk therapy gal. Sorry to sound stereotypical, but she's a Miss Perfect popular cheerleader type and talks a lot about herself during our sessions.
Anyway, hopefully Norma will have come up with a better plan for meds other than doing nothing as she suggested last week...mostly because it's the holiday season and didn't want to put me through any more trying situations. I'm not a do nothing kinda person and deserve to be much more stable than laying in bed depressed half the time and barely functioning the rest of the time.

Time for more coffee, hopefully it will stir me up enough to get motivated and do something.

Hope you all have the best day possible!

My body is a fat burning machine!
#ragingketones #ketomode #ohmigosh
3 weeks = 10 pounds, 12 inches

www.carolannneill.experienceketo.com


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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 SparkPoints: (83,969)
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12/12/16 9:34 P

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I'm so glad you are losing weight! You will be in Onederland soon, and I am so jealous. I will join you in 2017, I'm determined.

I had a December breakdown yesterday. I was crying and crying. I wanted Geo to come in and comfort me since I have been dealing with a lot. He didn't. He heard me crying and ignored me. While he explained his motives later, I don't know if it's right. He said that when he used to come in and comfort me when I was crying, I would start crying more and more frequently, so he didn't want to start a crying cycle. I can understand that. BUT I don't cry like this often, and it happens most in December, so it's not something that I do all the time anymore. So it wouldn't happen more often, since it's just the time of year. I have to talk to him about it, but I want to wait a bit and think about it more. I was heartbroken last night that he didn't comfort me (I didn't think he could hear me and that made it worse) and it made me cry more. It was hard. He loves me and wants to comfort me, but in his mind he made the right decision. I don't know if I'm going to have another cry again, but if I do I don't expect him to come.

Another thing: His friend Heather is going to have surgery in February and at the same time her husband is having surgery as well, and he wants to go help them. I don't mind.... I don't know. They need the help, but I don't know how long he will be gone. He has gone to visit her before and nothing happened. They are just friends. She is married with 2 teenage kids. My brother and sister are supposed to visit my mom sometime soon (it was supposed to be January, but that's not going to happen) and I might see about having the time Geo is in Oregon with Heather to coincide with my brother and sister seeing my mom so I can go be with them and not be home alone. Last time he went to Oregon I was alone and I was fine, but I don't do well in the winter (like my December breakdown). I don't know. I have a lot on my mind and a lot to deal with. I'm going to see my mom soon (I leave on the 20th) and be there for Christmas. I will come home on the 28th so I can have New Year's Eve with Geo.

Recommended- There is this show on NBC called "This is Us" and it's amazing, and tonight I watched a great movie about Alan Turing (the inventor of the computer) and his work in WWII. It's called "The Imitation Game".

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/12/16 4:30 P

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Wow, that is some success with the weight loss. I remember coming off of Seroquel and not losing weight at all. It was so disappointing to me since that was the one that made me the most weight. The treadmill is a great idea. I wish you luck in continued motivation.

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12/11/16 9:16 P

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It has been a week or so since I last checked in so it is time to say hi again!

I was having trouble waking up in the morning and having useful evenings thanks to one of my meds. My psych doc said that it was most likely the Seroquel (quetiapine) So I went down to half of my dose.100 to 50 mg, which doesn't sound like much. My body thinks that it is a bigger deal than I do.

First off I was able to wake up as soon as my alarm went off. Then the next night came--slight bout of insomnia, but nothing like I used to get.

Then an unexpected thing happened: my weight started to drop. Two pounds in two days then another one three days after that. Steadily it has continued for a week. Four pounds in one week! In most instances I would say that if I lost that much weight I was getting/am sick.

So I am one pound away from thirty pounds lost--and one pound away from 200 pounds! Whatever I am doing is working, so I will keep at it.

I just bought a used treadmill and got it set up in my house today. I no longer have any excuse not to take a walk at some point every (every-ish) day. Today on my two mile walk the dog just stared at me in loathing, wishing that I was on a walk with him. Poor pup.

That pretty much sums it up! I am having a much better week than last time.
--H



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12/7/16 5:44 P

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I know what you mean. I checked the self-pay rate for my psychiatrist. It's cheaper by $10 than what I pay with my insurance company. Insurance companies lately seem to screw with things. Samples always help during the changing time period; that's why my psych does if I don't have the moolah for the new one. Went to my psych today. We are upping again which I agree with. Maybe between that and all the other mental things I will start to see improvement. Wishing the best for both of us :-)

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12/7/16 5:35 P

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The pharmaceutical companies make crazy prices for their meds because they figured that the insurance companies will pay for it. If you don't have insurance, you can get Latuda for $15! But since I have insurance I'm screwed. I know I will be okay, I will get samples or change meds. I just hope I feel this good on another med.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/6/16 10:31 P

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LARISSA, the EMDR was suggested to me by another person in the DBSA bipolar support group I attend as something suggested to her. My new therapist says it's been proven to work quite effectively with those who have suffered PTSD. I don't have my first appointment with the EMDR specialist until next week and there are 8 phases to the process. So, as I go along I'll be able to tell you about it being helpful or not. My therapist and the EMDR specialist are not covered by my insurance but they offer a self-pay rate. We are tired of my mood swings so we are at the point of throwing everything at it.

It is TOTALLY ridiculous the cost of medication now. Latuda was expensive and for a 3-mont supply of Abilify after insurance was $2600. We just couldn't afford it after all but it was the only thing working. We tried the generic form but it still cost us $300 for a month's supply. Did you see about that diaper cream from Mylan that is costing $500 a tube??

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12/6/16 5:36 P

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I have heard of EMDR but don't know a lot about it. Is it helping you? Is it covered by insurance? I have 2 PTSD events, and while I have made much progress on one, the other still bugs me. I'm really liking my Latuda, but I don't know if I will be able to continue it. It just costs too much. I don't know how people without insurance pay for pills. The full price is over $1,000! I only have to pay 33%, but that's still $330. That's almost my rent payment. I've called them and they said to call back when my new insurance starts. BUT I get the primary doctor I want, who is not covered by any other plan, and I get my old psych back so I don't have to go back to Mr. I'm going to screw your body and make 4 changes at once. The positives outweigh the benefits.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/6/16 4:53 P

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LARISSA, I'm seeing a new therapist now since I too wasn't happy with my old one. Realized that after 2 years I wasn't seeing much progress it was time to let go and find someone else. This one seems more promising. Hubby went with me to the appointment so that she was clear on what we were wanting to accomplish. I was downloading my whole history. It was exhausting and scary at the same time. Going to do EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy at the same time so my therapist and the one doing EMDR can talk to each other. My therapist will handle the abandonment and irrational fears and the EMDR will handle my childhood and recent PTSD issues.

Been in a bubble of sorts for the past 2 months from family, people, and stressful things because I am being too easily triggered. Been working out well but still can't handle much stress. We are hoping with these new approaches I can begin to come out of the bubble and not be triggered. We know it will take time. For now, it's the bubble I remain.

Hope everyone is having a good beginning to the holiday season.

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12/6/16 1:40 A

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Four changes at the same time? That sounds extreme. Hopefully you have some backups to help wean you off some of those more heavy duty meds.
I took Latuda for 5-6 weeks and had an odd side effect......but don't I always get the weird side effects?!?
It gave me the most ginormous lactating porn star boobs ever!!
Seriously! emoticon

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12/4/16 8:45 P

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((hugsCarol)) I'm sorry you are going through all that. I'm still here for you if you want to talk. I don't know if I like my new psych... he took me off Klonopin and Haldol, and gave me a decongestant for sleep and Latuda to replace the Haldol- all 4 changes at the same time. If my old psych accepts my new insurance, then I am going to go back to her, even though she is far. Same thing with my therapist- I want to get a new one. I just have issues with her and I don't completely trust her.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/3/16 8:28 P

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I checked in a couple months ago with good intentions of being more of a regular.....and you all see how that's worked out.

Right now I'm teetering when it comes to being stable. My new psych (of 6 months) didn't like the fact that I was having to take a med (propranolol) to combat the side effects of the combination of Fetzima and Wellbutrin. She added Rexulti and weaned me off the wellbutrin but didn't expect I would have an adverse reaction to the rexulti - which I did, nothing life threatening.
So it's been 6 weeks off wellbutrin, 3 weeks off rexulti and no antidepressant or mood stabilizer has been added and she is questioning the effectiveness of the Fetzima. Doh, Doc...my meds have been jacked up for over a month and you think it's because another med isn't working? How about taking me back to where I was and let ME worry about taking a (cheap) med for (a very mild) side effect? as opposed to riding this rollercoaster.
How about tweaking those meds I've been on for two years a little to help combat seasonal depression as opposed to jacking everything up?

Sadly, I suspect that as a young/new psych, she is throwing all the free samples/coupons drug reps are bringing to her office at patients. I heard her giving verbal instructions to her receptionist/secretary to give Rexulti samples to three other patients while I was sitting in the waiting room. Uh, yeah, we all need the same (free) drug......and the lack of patient privacy thing wasn't lost on me either.

There's a lot of things piling up right now - stress, elderly/ill parents, husband weirdness, never ending dental work and pain, sister relationship issues, bills & unexpected expenses, health insurance bs, holidays, the list seems endless - and I really don't need meds being jacked up too.

Thank you for listening emoticon

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12/2/16 9:19 P

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I'm scared of getting pregnant and having to be off meds. I don't know what that's like... I've been on meds for over 15 years and last time I tried to get off meds I went psychotic. Not like I have to worry- Geo has NO interest in sex and it's been 8 years since we last had sex. I'm on birth control to even my mood, not worried about kids. Sorry for the TMI. Like I said, I want to have kids but don't see it happening. I'm almost 34 so my time for kids is running out fast.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/2/16 5:17 P

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Diane, I'll gladly loan you one for a while. LOL.

Right now I just wish I could continue life as usual. They had just raised my meds 2 weeks ago and now I have to wean off. I have an appointment with my therapist Tuesday and I'll let her know what's going on. In the meantime, I started weaning down on the Lamictal. I had immediately dropped it back down to 300mg, and I'll drop it again to 200 on Sunday. The Prozac is going to be a little more difficult I think. I've never weaned off it before so I don't know how to go about it until I talk to them Tuesday. I'm hoping once I'm off I can stay off through the rest of the pregnancy and through breastfeeding. I wasn't able to do it with Isis, and her postpartum weaning withdrawals made me pretty miserable.

Audrey
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12/1/16 8:36 P

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HM, it does get easier. I used to have a really hard time with the holidays without my dad, but it's been a long time (20 years) and holidays are easier now. I still miss him like crazy, but it some time and therapy have helped. I've had more of my life without my dad (20 years) than I did with him (13 years), but he had a major impact in my life.

Audrey, Congrats! I look forward to seeing you through your pregnancy and when you welcome your new baby! I have to live vicariously through you.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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12/1/16 6:25 P

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Thank you. It comes awfully unexpectedly.

I'm sorry the holidays are hard for you. I know it's hard. Sometimes it's best to try to make new memories. Hang in there.

Audrey
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12/1/16 5:27 P

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Congratulations on your pregnancy! Here is hoping for an easy time for you and your growing family.

But. Feeling the holiday spirit of sadness and anger, fueled by a little manic agitation to go with it. My husband passed away three and a half years ago and holidays are hard. I am snippy, short tempered, and sad all together. I hate holidays--too many memories and what ifs.



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12/1/16 1:44 P

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We have a fake tree. Our cat gave up climbing it years ago, but it doesn't seem to stop the kids. 90% of our ornaments are shatterproof, so no worries.

Found out this week that we're expecting. That will be one more child to keep out of the tree next year. And we will need a new tree because this one has some wires fraying, so it bites the dust after this season. Makes me sad. It's served us for 8 Christmases.

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12/1/16 11:06 A

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Good morning !! We had the same problem with our kitten. He is climbing our fake tree that looks real and knocking all the decorations on the floor, then batting them around and breaking the glass. We have also tried orange peels and water spritzing. Doesn't work on him either, so I have removed the bottom ornaments and put them away until Christmas Eve. I've also taken the collectibles down for the moment. I have the added temptation of Micah, my 5 year old grandson to chase the cat under the tree unnecessarily and cause more havoc that way. We love to decorate and bake cookies, doing all that stuff which is special to the November and December holidays. My Mom was big on Thanksgiving and huge on Christmas. I have her Santa Clause collectible ornaments with me, so we use them every year. Most of them are over 30 to 60 years old. Truly family heirlooms. I keep the Santa's in my kitchen, hung on the walls for decoration and to remind me to be giving and loving the entire year. Welcome to December everyone !! I hope it is a special month for you all !! Take care and God bless, Deb emoticon emoticon

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Deb
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12/1/16 10:44 A

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Oh my goodness. Can't believe I am creating a chat thread for December already! It seems like this year has flown by and yet at times I remember it wasn't going slow enough for me. The cooler weather tends to usually want me to stay indoors but I still have the inclination to enjoy the brisk air as it feels my lungs while walking.

We can't put up a Christmas tree this year. We tried but one of my adorable kitties keeps eating it. We tried constantly spraying her with a water bottle, spritzing apple cider vinegar on it, spritzing with orange, and spritzing with lemon juice all to no avail. So, instead of constantly getting onto her and creating stress we just said forget it and brought the tree back. I will decorate the other areas this Saturday but nothing else. Do you go all out in decorating, do just a little, or don't do it at all?

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