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3/31/16 10:41 P

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When I figure out what my Skype password is I would love to chat with you guys! Send me a message here and I will tell you what my name is. :)

I'm in LA right now and it is so cold inside my stepdad's house. I was cuddled under the blankets and then went with my brother to the dog park with his dogs and it was so nice and warm outside! My stepdad's place is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. Just bad insulation. I am having fun... I'm looking forward to Saturday when I get to see my sister, then spend the night there. Sunday all my dad's kids will be together to watch the finale of The Walking Dead. My little brother is cooking (he works as a cook) and I get to see my sister and older brother. I know it will be a great weekend!

Next week I'm supposed to go out with a couple of my friends that I haven't seen in years. I am looking forward to the rest of my trip. The only bad thing is that my ex-best friend is getting married and she refuses to talk to me... no wedding invite, not even her address so I could send her a birthday card. I'm going to remove her as leader of the bipolar group I'm on with Spark People since she hasn't been there in months. I feel bad, but she makes her own choices.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/31/16 8:35 A

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It's something I'll have to work on.

Audrey
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3/30/16 11:21 P

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emoticon

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/30/16 6:31 P

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Sad thing... we do have high speed internet

Audrey
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3/30/16 6:17 P

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We have had that problem. It doesn't work well on slow speed broad band. Luckily I have high speed internet. My sis and I do get disconnected sometimes as she lives in a small town and they have broadband internet. If I can do it...and I am technically challenged, too. I bet you could do it if you had high speed internet!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/30/16 11:18 A

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Ha! I think I'm too technologically impaired to use Skype. I've tried, but it never seems to connect or stay connected.

Audrey
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3/30/16 11:08 A

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I remember that with my little sister. We are 17 months apart and were definitely best friends some days and the worst enemies others!! Now we have an excellent relationship even though we live so far apart. We Skype and that is a lot of fun. That is how I met both her grandsons. One from when he was a baby!! Do you Skype?? I love it. I don't get to travel much, so it is my way of staying in touch with family and friends, besides FB.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/30/16 9:10 A

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Definitely overwhelming. Mine are just the right age apart to be both best friends and perfect enemies.

Audrey
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3/29/16 10:18 P

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I am single, divorced with no children. So I would be overwhelmed with children.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/29/16 4:11 P

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I think the only thing that could maybe help me sleep would be if I slept in a different house than the kids. I've never found a sleep aide that actually helped rather than caused more issues.

Audrey
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3/28/16 7:28 P

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Is it expensive to get and do u get it at a health food store?? What brand do u like?/ I like the formula 303 as I can get it 7 $ cheaper at my chiropractic office thanbat the health food store. It does help me sleep, too.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/28/16 6:05 P

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I take Valerian root for sleep... I tend to sleep better and wake up refreshed. sometimes it doesn't work, but it helps calm me down. My psych recommended it to me, along with so sleep meditation music. It's not additive, so you don't have to worry about that.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/28/16 11:42 A

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UrbanAudradreye,
I totally understand how you could get angry and violent. When I get anxious, I get ready to fight or hide. That is the fight or flight syndrome!! I am usually in the flight syndrome unless someone puts me in a corner!! Then I come out fighting!

Larissa,
Hope you have a great trip to LA. You are braver than I am!!

Edwards,
I take something called Formula 303. I first got it at the chiropractors. You can find it in health food stores. It helps with stress and relaxes your muscles. It has valerian root in it. My psych doctor said it was fine to take, but watch for hypomania. I don't take it regularly. Just when my back is really hurting. You might try it!!

Have an awesome day everyone!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/27/16 1:17 P

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Thanks Diane.

Good news, I'm feeling much better now. I thought it best to pregame going to church with a klonopin. I managed to not get worked up while I was there. It somehow made it easier to keep the kids under control. If I were smart I'd slip one to hubby next time.

Have fun on your trip to LA! I sure wish I could come too!

Audrey
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Drink that water!!!

EL for Winter 2018 5% Challenge Weight Warriors

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3/26/16 4:23 P

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*hugs Audrey*

I'm so sad that you went through that. I know that this time of the year is when I tend to get depressed and go in the hospital.. but I've managed to stay out for 4 years now. I don't want to give up that streak. If you know your triggers, then maybe staying away for the holidays is a good idea. I know that some of your family might not understand, but it's nice to have a partner who understands.

As for me, I'm SORE! I went to the gym yesterday and totally overdid myself. I'm having trouble doing normal things like getting up from a chair. I have slept most of today to run from the pain. I went with Geo to his nutritionist for his year post-surgery workup and in a year he has lost 157 pounds. Geo wants to get to 300, so he still has a long way to go. (pre-surgery weight- 588. One year- 437). Geo's nutritionist had this really cool machine that not only gave you your body fat percentage, but also the location of the fat, how much muscle you have, how hydrated you are.. all these crazy things. The nutritionist let me use it and I was shocked. Half my body weight is FAT! 52% fat. He said I need to work out more and harder to get the muscle my body needs, and so I went to the gym and worked out like crazy. I don't think he meant for me to go as crazy as I did. The news also made me purge. I was doing so well in not purging, but I threw up 3 times that night. I need to get back on track and not work out to this extent. Or just do one part of the body at a time.

I'm going to be on vacation in LA from March 29th to April 12th. I'm going to try and be around... I have some plans, but free time as well. I hope everyone has a happy Easter!

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/26/16 2:28 P

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So... I don't know why the holidays are so bad for me. It wasn't always this way... Just since we moved in with my grandfather I guess. Maybe since my gram passed away... I don't remember the holidays between those 2 events. Anyway, I just had an episode. When I get anxious I get, for lack if a better term, violent. Yesterday I spent a better part of the day baking Pasks bread for thw family. By the time I finished, it was late, so I went to bed and left the dishes for today. It was an early day because we took the kids to an Easter Egg Hunt and then went to get thw food baskets blessed and then grocery shopping. While I was just putting the food away, I went to move a bag... A paper one, with food in it. Well, my grandfather I guess had taken dishes out of the sink and put them on the kitchen table, and apparently put the bag into the dirty dishes with dishwater in them. More specifically, a bowl that had had eggwash in it from the bread. Well, I picked up the bag, unknowing that it was saturated in dirty qater and raw egg, and it splashed up everywhere... On top of the groceries I was tryibg to put away, and onto the bread I had baked and all the blessed food. So, well, I lost it a little. Kinda tore the kitchen apart, threw the chairs and plastic cups, and kicked the wall which is now sporting a hoke in the drywall the size of my foot. Once I managed to grab a drink and my klonopin, I distanced myself. Right now, I'm mostly calmed down. I'm sitting on the sidewalk in our driveway in the sun juat trying to get some fresh air. I hate when this happens. The worst is, it's predictable, so I don't know why I can't seem to ever prepare for it better. Maybe it didn't help because I had to keep chasing the kids out of the kitchen while I was trying to unload and everytime they ran back in and I sent them back out he just sat there playing his cards and laughing at me.

I just get so upset with myself when this happens. Generally itturns into a downward spiral of depression. It's when I do get those suicidal thoughts because I feel likeno one should have to live with me. But don't worry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to sit here on the ground for a bit more and then go try to repair what I've done. It really helps having an outlet and people who care and understand what I'm going through. My husband gets it... And a couple of my friends, but otherwise it's a pretty solitary life. I'm thankful for all of you here. On a brighter note... I'm pretty sure I have therapy scheduled for this week. I really have to better adress these issues and come up with a better plan to prevent them. It might break down to just having to leave town for Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas... Maybe 4th of July, but that one varies with its complications.

Audrey
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EDWARDSC3931 Posts: 282
3/26/16 2:00 P

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Slept 1/2 nite. Took Advil. when my meds run out at nite, I'll get some advil, pm. I have a bad back..
Happy Easter Everyone!

I was on a medication, with a side affect of weight gain. Doc said I can stop taking it. I,ve cleaned up my eating, am walking, I did this before, I can do this again!
Spark will help!


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3/25/16 9:25 P

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Valerian root is good for sleep too. My psych told me about it and it works well.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/25/16 10:31 A

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Picked up scrpts yesterday, she really cut it down. Dang, a half a one, klonapin a day! I don,t like being in this position. I hear gaba is good. I'll look it up. Have a good day.
I,m gonna lay down, didn't sleep too well last nite.

I was on a medication, with a side affect of weight gain. Doc said I can stop taking it. I,ve cleaned up my eating, am walking, I did this before, I can do this again!
Spark will help!


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3/25/16 8:24 A

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Larissa,
It does help me with sleep, too!!
Angie

emoticon emoticon

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/24/16 6:52 P

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I use Klonopin for sleep and anxiety... sometimes I just need a bump to get me to sleep

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/24/16 11:53 A

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I take klonopin to help with anxiety.

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/24/16 11:13 A

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Saw my therapist yesterday, she has been gradually cutting my meds down. The last doc, had me taking too much. But now , after this month, no more klonipin, Makes me nervous.
I'll be on my balance stuff, just not on addictive stuff. Been on meds at least 17 yrs....
I drink wine when I'm jittery. I'm a depressive bi=polar, I do get hyper now and then,
Have to get to know you all.
Have a good day! Cherie

I was on a medication, with a side affect of weight gain. Doc said I can stop taking it. I,ve cleaned up my eating, am walking, I did this before, I can do this again!
Spark will help!


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3/21/16 11:00 P

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So glad to hear that you aren't waiting for 5 months to see your therapist!! I am with Urbanaudreye...that is way, way too long!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/19/16 9:14 P

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Oh, good! I was seriously concerned!

Audrey
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3/19/16 4:14 P

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It's APRIL, not August LOL! I don't know why I put August, but I see her April 15.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/18/16 8:43 P

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Diane - You don't have an appointment until August? The only time I've gone that long was when I was pregnant with Xena. Now I go every 3 weeks, sometimes even closer together. Xena's appointments are 3 weeks apart as well. 5 months sounds just crazy to me.

Audrey
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Drink that water!!!

EL for Winter 2018 5% Challenge Weight Warriors

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3/18/16 7:16 P

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As long as you want to wait. I was hypomanic for a month and crashed last night. I spoke to my doctor today and we upped my prozac for a few days. I see my therapist twice next week as he missed today as he had his girls. I told him I was ok. Because when he asked me yesterday I was...last night I wasn't!!

I see him every week. I usually have EMDR light therapy, but I have had so much else to discuss with moving and being hypomanic for a month, that we haven't done it much since Jan.

Have a good evening and a great weekend!!
Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/18/16 4:39 P

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I worked the primary election on Tuesday and just couldn't sleep, so Geo came in and cuddled me until I fell asleep. He's sweet most of the time, but other times it scares me. I don't see my therapist until August 15, so I just have to wait. I want to wait.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/16/16 6:31 P

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Larissa,
You have to do what is right for you. If he won't get help....you have a decision to make. It won't be easy. Mine sure wasn't!! I ended up in a state hospital for 5 months... Not fun at all!! And after that separation I could never make myself go back. My life started over at that point. That was 20 years ago. I am glad I trusted my instinct and saw I couldn't live in that toxic environment one more day!! Hope u can do what is right for you and Geo. I know you can't just shut off love that has grown over the years. My best to you!! Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/16/16 5:38 P

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Could Geo be afraid of the medication and their side effects? Could he be in denial?

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3/16/16 5:36 P

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I'm so sorry about all of this frustration but I'm glad you do have a support network available to you. I've been having a rough 3-weeks and if my husband hadn't been so supportive and helpful I don't think I would have survived it. My family and most friends (except my really close ones which comes to 5) don't understand or believe the bipolar because they see me acting normal. Just as you, they don't realize I don't come out when these moods are on because I want to be a hermit during those time periods. I think it's hard for people to 1) relate and 2) not be fearful with the stigma that goes with it. They don't realize that we aren't all over the extreme and can be functional in our lives. Here's a hug to you and the rest of the community. Someday I hope it gets better.

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3/15/16 12:01 A

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Oh that sounds so hard. I hope you have a good team you *hug*

You have to make those little noises, or it just doesn't work. -Bob Ross


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3/14/16 11:58 P

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All the bloody time. My mom is bipolar one as well and she set a really bad example of what it looks like when we were growing up, so my sister and dad don't believe I'm "really" sick, because I've never been hospitalized. I don't talk to my dad anymore, but my sister doesn't see the days I can't get out of bed or the times I'm so angry and paranoid that I can barely leave the house because I try my damnedest NOT to be around people when I'm in that state. My sister once told me I should try yoga because it would fix my depression issues just like that! Imagine that. All those years on lamictal and the seroquel I need to take when I swing too high even if it makes me pack on the pounds could have been avoided if only I'd known about yoga! Ugh, she means well, but still.

I leant her Marbles and Hyperbole and a Half, hoping that she will read them and get some perspective.

My boss hasn't actually told me I couldn't take time off when I had a breakdown this summer, but you bet my missed time came back to bite me. In July I had a surgery and missed 4 days. In August I had a breakdown and missed three days - I told my boss what was going on, he said he understood. In September my aunt died, she was my moms twin sister so she helped raise us. I missed a day when I found out she died, and then two days for the funeral. When I got back to work, I got in crap for Never Being At Work. Like I was flaking out and being irresponsible,

I'm really lucky that I have a good group of friends that I can turn to and let them know when I'm going to need a little bit more support. My boyfriend has also stepped up a lot in terms of watching me for signs of an up or down swing. I usually notice before he does, but it's nice to know he's paying attention and wants to help.

You have to make those little noises, or it just doesn't work. -Bob Ross


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3/14/16 9:22 P

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Too bad they don't make gummy antidepressants

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3/14/16 10:34 A

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Geo has Major Depressive Disorder and doesn't want to be on meds for it. I don't know why, but he gives up on everything he tries to do. The only thing he has been doing for a while and sticking with it is photography. He even pretty much gave up on his surgery (gastric sleeve) and is eating Whoppers, just a bit at a time. It's like he doesn't want to get better. The only reason he takes his vitamins is because I hand them to him and they are gummies. He doesn't take any other meds, moved from drinking soda before surgery and now drinks fruit punch which is also loaded with sugar. I just don't know what to do with him sometimes.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/14/16 9:46 A

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Oh yes, because one Prozac goes SO far. Now I'll admit I notice when I miss one, but I didn't start to notice a difference taking it until I was at least 3 days in, and had I not already been taking medication, I'm sure it would've taken longer. Really it takes at least a week to a month to start seeing the effects. Not that I need to tell you that.

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I has a talk with him last year about his yelling and he has gotten better. But he still punches and destroys everything. He gets mad when I tell him he needs anger management (LOL). He said meds do nothing after just trying one (Prozac). I think there is a med out there that would help him with his depression, but he doesn't want to try.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/14/16 9:01 A

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Men are so stubborn. Add that to being verbally and emotionally abusive and you have a recipe for disaster. Maybe if there's a way you can make him aware that if things don't change he risks you leaving he'll decide to get the help he needs. Subtly though, because otherwise it could just make matters worse. I do hope that you can work though those things.

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It's getting worse over the years. I remember with my old therapist that he wasn't like this and that was about 4 years ago. My new therapist doesn't know much about it because when I see her I feel good and forget about the bad. He is better than a couple years ago, but it's still not good. I know things can get better and so I hope he accepts my request that he goes to anger management therapy and back on meds. It's not a lot to ask for in my opinion, but it's a big deal to him.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/13/16 1:37 P

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Having been in a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage to an alcoholic, I know that 16 years together was too long! He made me feel crazy and every thought all the problems were with me. Even my family, because I was in denial that it was as bad as it was at the time!! I am just glad I finally left. I didn't get much and we didn't have any children, so I didn't even get a lawyer. I just wanted out!!! If it is bad enough I hope you will leave for your mental health!!

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I'm not going to do anything until I talk to my therapist. Our lease is up in October, so that's the decision time. I have a few places I can go, like my stepdad's house in LA. Most of my family lives there, so I would get support. I love Geo and don't want to leave him, but it's hard to stay sometimes. A couple weeks ago we bought some steak at the store, and I had never cooked that kind of steak before (round steak). I just put it on the pan and cooked it. When it was done he touched the top and said it was dry. He then goes off on me, saying I ruined everything and it was a waste of money. He kept going for almost a half hour. Then we agree to watch some TV while he ate. When he started to eat the steak he said it was good and he was sorry for yelling at me. That just made me so mad! That he would do all that drama over nothing! Sometimes I just want to get away from it. I know I need to leave, but I'm hoping I can save our 10 year marriage.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/13/16 8:49 A

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I'm sorry that this is happening but I'm glad you are getting the support you need. You definitely don't deserve to be verbally abused and you taking a stand against it is that of strength.

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3/12/16 5:22 P

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Sorry you are being verbally abused. Nobody deserves that!!

~~Angie ~~
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I went to the local bipolar support group this morning and it was really good. Geo doesn't want me to go since the woman who convinced me to leave him goes there. Geo was on vacation with his family and I moved all my stuff out. When he came back from vacation we had a good talk and I moved back in. Since then, Geo doesn't want me around her. I was talking to the support group about some of the things going on and they are all supportive of me. It was nice to get feedback about the long Geo saga. We will see if he can get his temper in check and stop verbally abusing me.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/11/16 7:10 P

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Sounds like a good plan!!

~~Angie ~~
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I'm working the primary election here in FL on the 15th, so I might not be around for a bit... I have to set up Monday and then be there at 5:30 AM!!!! on Tuesday. I won't be home until about 9 PM. I'm going to go to sleep and sleep. Geo and I have a date on Wednesday (a movie we really want to see that's only going to be in one theater for Tues and Weds so we have to go on Weds) so I need to be up. I woke up today at 8:30 am and I'm not napping. I'm trying to gradually wake up earlier and earlier so when I have to go to bed super early on Monday my body will be used to sleeping earlier and waking up earlier. That's my plan, anyway.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/10/16 9:25 A

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I'm sorry about your father, Diane. That is truly terrible. Sounds like your brother has had an easier time making his peace. Going target shooting with him may help, but not necessarily. Guns certainly aren't for everyone. My step-dad is seriously anti-gun. I know it bothers him immensely that we have so many. Don't ask how many, because as my husband (the collector) would say "he lost track after 20". Suffice it to say, we definitely need a new gun safe because we ran out of room. Mostly investor pieces and just straight up interesting pieces. Our friends joke that when the zombie apocalypse happens, they're coming to our house. I think the most important thing is to know gun safety and to treat them respect. Treat all guns as "loaded and hot". Never point them at people or animals unless you are intending on killing it. Not advocating killing people there obviously, but if necessary for self defense. Ditto with animals, unless your hunting and intending on turning it into dinner. Always know what's beyond your target. Even more important than knowing gun safety yourself, I think all kids should know it as well. Even in gun-free households. Heaven forbid they go into a friends house and come across one and think it's a toy. And don't even get me started on how they're making toys look more realistic. I think that's the most stupid thing they could ever do. It's just asking for trouble. I was so excited the other day in WalMart when I came across a more old school Super Soaker that looked like a water gun and not emulating the real thing.

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3/9/16 6:12 P

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I grew up around guns but they scare me still. I remember my dad teaching how to use a revolver when I was a kid. After he committed suicide (by gun) I've been too scared to get near them. My brother collects them and goes to the shooting range all the time. I might go with him one day so I can get over my fear.

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3/9/16 9:02 A

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That is totally awesome. I would never have thought to take it to somewhere and have them prepare it for me. But then again, my family has been pretty self sufficient when it comes to that. Though it's definitely been a long time since anyone in my part of the family has bagged anything. I think the last time my grandfather and uncle went hunting I was still in single digit ages. Fish is a different story, though truth be told, it's been a while since I've had any fresh caught fish too.

Interesting factoid - If you watch Hell's Kitchen, and happened to catch Season 11, you might remember Chef Michael Langdon and in his interview mentioned growing up eating squirrel and just about everything else his dad brought home from hunting. Well, Michael's my cousin. We both pretty much grew up the same way... though I can't remember eating squirrel, lol.

I'm not sure what your exact laws are, but I know here it would be illegal to buy or possess. Which doesn't go to say that you couldn't own one so long as it wasn't in your possession, or that you couldn't go along with someone who could legally own/possess to a range to go target shooting. See what I mean about those loopholes? Another one... if I happen to need hospitalization, so long as I'm not involuntarily committed, and admit myself, I can still legally buy and own. It's crazy.

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3/9/16 12:20 A

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I know that is so true. I am harmless when it comes to a gun!! I would never shoot a person, nor an animal unless I used the animal for food. I wouldn't do it for fun or to torture anything or anyone. Until they change the law here, that is my predicament. I don't know if I can actually handle a gun or just can not own one. Either way, my rights seem to have been violated because they feel I am a threat to myself or others, because I have a mental illness. What happened to the "right to bear arms?" Just saying!!

Hope you are able to hunt soon. You are in PA, so I know nothing about the hunting regs or the seasons of what you hunt and when. I know that birds, like ducks...not sure what else is probably coming up here. I am not sure. My ex used to hunt. We would take the ducks to the chinese restaurant and they would prepare them for about 6 of us. (3 couples and their ducks they hunted.) It was quite fun and they make duck fabulous!!

Have a great Wednesday. It is hump day, so hope it goes downhill from here for you!! (Not literally, but just headed toward the end of the week. That is if you have a regular week- Monday through Friday!)

~~Angie ~~
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Well, deer is what I mainly want to go for. Right now it's woodchuck, porcupine, crow, and starling season here (PA). Spring gobblers is coming up next. I'd love to go out for it, but it's a shotgun season, and I don't have any that meet hunting regulations.

You know what's really sad. And not that I'm going to spell it out, but there's actually a ton of loopholes in gun possession laws. If the politicians were smart, they'd work towards closing the loopholes rather than gun bans. Besides which, telling law abiding citizens they can't own guns, or even specific types of guns, isn't going to prevent the people who aren't legally obtaining them from getting their hands on them anyway.

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3/8/16 7:22 P

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I have been committed in Montana and can never carry nor own a gun of any kind. Oh well, don't like them anyway. Not against them, just don't want anything to do with them myself. What would you go hunting now?? Not sure where you live, but is it almost bird season...???


~~Angie ~~
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Carrying and shooting isn't an issue for me. I even have decent aim. I'm "patiently" waiting to go hunting, but I can never find someone willing to watch the kids long enough for me to go. It's like killing me. I have my rifle sighted like perfect, but it's one thing shooting from a range shooting table than actually out in the woods. Oddly enough, my therapist thinks that target shooting and hunting is a perfect outlet for me.


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3/7/16 6:24 P

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Good for you. I would not be able to carry a gun and and shoot it.

~~Angie ~~
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I'm not sure exactly what age I was when they put the official bipolar label on me. All they ever told my mother was that I had a chemical imbalance. I kinda deduced it myself in high school psychology class. Confirmation came when I joined the Army. When they got a hold of my files it pretty much all came out. On a maybe happy note, I'm dubbed PDQ so at least I'll never have to go fight a war.

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3/6/16 3:06 P

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I hope everyone has a nice Sunday. I have been a bit heavy on here lately.

Larissa,
I was probably bi-polar at younger than my breakdown at 14 yo. My first hospitalization was for a hand surgery at age 14 months old. I don't remember it, but that is when we develop trust vs mistrust, from birth to 18 months. I have paranoia now about doctor's and white lab coats. I used to be okay on the psych unit here in town, but they now wear lab coats or scrubs. Guess it was too hard to tell the patients from the staff!! Ha Ha!!

Have a great day!!!
Angie

~~Angie ~~
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Bipolar and depression are disorders... They need to be managed with medication and therapy. It's not something you just get over. I've been bipolar since age 7 but not medicated until my breakdown when I was 20. I'm kinda stable on meds.... getting used to a new one but not mood swinging as much. If someone doesn't understand, just don't talk to them about it if possible. I remember one time at work I was cornered by 2 women who said I was not bipolar, but demon possessed and needed an exorcism. I avoided them as much as I could from then on. They were crazier than I was! LOL

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/6/16 12:24 A

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They are definitely a chemical imbalance!! Otherwise medication wouldn't help at all. Sometimes it takes a little adjustment, but most medications do help most people. Guess there are some people nothing works for, but I truly believe u have to put a little effort into therapy and take your medication as prescribed. Otherwise, they won't help. Just my opinion!! Totally not being judgemental!! Lots of stigma surrounds our illnesses!!

~~Angie ~~
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3/6/16 12:19 A

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My step mom thought I shouldn't be on medications. Of course, she was about 80 when my Dad married her. ( It was 6 months after my mom died. My Dad just couldn't take care of himself!!) Anyway, I was in my 40's and had been and off medication since I was 14 years old. It was definitely not situational!! Some people think u can just suck it up and u will be fine. I have been mentally ill since I was a child. My first hospitalization was at 14 for depression...I was probably bipolar back then. But in 1977 they didn't like to give children labels that would follow them the rest of their lives. They waited until they were 18! I was diagnosed bipolar at age 20.

~~Angie ~~
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3/5/16 10:08 P

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There are some people in my family who are very judgmental and think Bipolar Disorder and Depression are "all in your head" and that people should not be on medication for such things for an extended amount of time. From my understanding, these issues are because of a chemical imbalance and aren't just "situational" and you can't just get over it. Anyone else deal with people that are frustrating like this?

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3/5/16 2:07 P

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It's a county fair.. they have it every year. They call it the Youth Fair. I'm looking forward to it. Right now I'm freaking out... Geo is playing a video game and losing.. he's yelling and punching his leg. I'm right next to him. He has never hit me, never come close in the 10 years we have been together, but it's still hard to know he's not going to hit me. Okay... he passed that stage and is calming down. I'm relieved. I might go lie down, but I've been sleeping too much. Yesterday I slept from 1 am to 1:30 pm, then back down at 3 pm and up at 6 pm. I went back to sleep at midnight and then slept till noon. I'm feeling better, but I know I can sleep some more if I wanted. We do have things to do today, so I'm just going to wait until we go out then go to the gym. I haven't worked out in days, and even though my weight is stable I still need to lose.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/4/16 11:31 P

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Love the rice krispie treat idea. My friend is going to make a Dr. Seuss cake and is looking for the pans. They sure are expensive.

All the fairs I have been to are in the early to late summer. Probably because it isn't nice enough anywhere I have lived to have them any earlier. Would be fun to go to one in the spring. Especially in Miami. Is it a state fair Larissa?

I haven't been to a state fair since I went to the Minnesota State Fair in 2004. Before that I was about a 3rd grader when my Dad and Mom took all 7 of us kids to the Minnesota State Fair. He felt it was more educational than school. That sure was a fun skip day!!

Edited by: ANGIEN9 at: 3/4/2016 (23:31)
~~Angie ~~
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3/3/16 5:38 P

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These are the treats I made. www.shesaved.com/2016/01/dr-seuss-sn
ac
k-put-me-in-the-zoo-rice-krispies-trR>eats.html/
I subbed out the melted chocolate for frosting because it's just easier. And I used skittles instead of spree. The kids raved over them.

Withdrawals are the worst. I've been fortunate enough to not ever get real bad ones, but I've seen some people go through them so rough that it scares me.

I get paranoid walking anymore as well. When I was pregnant with Isis, Xena and I took a walk to the convenient mart to pick up some ice cream, and some guys accosted us. Made a comment about raping me and then my daughter. Since then, if I walk, I walk armed. Thankfully, an option I have.

All our fairs are in the fall. The bigger one used to always be the first week of October, but it always got flooded that week. They moved it up to the last week of September, which is a little better now.

It's hard watching someone you know and love suffer. Especially when you know that things could be done to change that. I sure hope things with your mother get better. On a positive side, puppies are good for well-being, right?

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3/3/16 12:32 P

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The Fair is at the end of the month. I live in Miami, so it's almost always warm. I'm looking forward to it. I went before and had a blast. They even had a circus performance. I'm also looking forward to going on the rides. I love roller coasters. It's going to be a lot of walking and so I'm trying to get my body used to it. I hope it's not too crowded... we are going on a Monday.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/3/16 8:16 A

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Larissa,
Sorry to hear about your Mom's situation. That must be very hard, especially when u have to deal with your own issues. I am a worrier, so it would be difficult to handle for me. I am getting more steps lately, but would love to walk outside some. Due to my paranoia, I don't walk outside. Long story behind it, but just won't walk like I did about 3 years ago. Hope you are feeling better and start getting some walking started.

When is the fair? Seems so early for that to be happening already. Guess it depends where one lives.



~~Angie ~~
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3/2/16 9:35 P

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Thanks, Angie. March is going to be a crazy month for me, so I have to get myself in shape to deal with events (increase my walking because I'm going to the county fair and going to be walking all day for one) and trying to support my mother as the people she lives with abuse her. She needs to get out, but it's slow going. It's hard hearing her go through all this (my mom is 61 with Parkinson's and on a walker, but they expect her to take care of a puppy and a 1 year old baby). She can't do it and starts crying sometimes. It's so hard to hear. I have all my own issues but it's hard to distance myself from my mom's situation.

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/2/16 6:07 P

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Larissa,
You do know we all understand and can empathize with you! Check in when you can.
Your spark friend,
Angie emoticon emoticon

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/2/16 5:45 P

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Sorry I haven't been around much... Going through withdrawals from the Geodon. Thank you all for your patience with me. I should be good in a couple days

~Rissa, AKA Diane


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3/2/16 10:53 A

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I hope that it isn't a weight gain for me this month. I haven't been tracking and have been stress eating. I am getting settled in my new apt and feeling at home! I think your treats sound fun. Would u share the recipe with me? Post or send me a Spark Mail. OK?? Thanks! Hope your echocardiogram results are good. Two weeks wearing a heart monitor doesn't sound fun, but guess they are not as bad as they used to be. (Medical devices continue to get smaller and smaller.) I have a busy morning and then a treat from my nephew. A much needed massage this afternoon. So looking forward to that, but living in the moment and right now I need to take my meds and get out of my pj's!! Have a great day everyone!!

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/2/16 9:06 A

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I have a feeling it's going to be a heavy month. Hopefully not referring to weight.

I have a pretty busy day ahead of me again today. I'm making "Put Me In the Zoo" rice krispy treats for my daughter's class tomorrow. I'm going to be a guest reader. And it'll be a long day tomorrow too. I have an echocardiogram that I have to be at the hospital at 8am for and then they're fitting me with a heart rate monitor that I'll have to wear for the next 2 weeks.

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3/1/16 11:50 P

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Too bad a mental illness that is a brain disorder and totally physical... Has such stigma attached to it. Montana is one state that has one of the highest States for suicide in the country!! We have young children...as young as 12, probably younger that I don't know about, committing suicide daily. We have a big problem with suicide!! I have attempted it quite a few times. I don't regret my attempts. I got help that I needed every time. I do regret the pain I put my parents, siblings, extended family and friends through. I wasn't thinking correctly and each time I was very ill. I am thankful that they are still in my life. Although I have pretty much lost one sister, most of her immediate family and my brother. It is sad, but they just can't deal with my illness and my PTSD from my childhood.

Have a great evening! I got a bit heavy there. Until next chat...Angie

~~Angie ~~
Just taking it one day at a time!!!



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3/1/16 5:33 P

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Oh, don't I know it!

We had my daughter at her therapist today and we got to talking about my aunt... as we always do. My husband calls her a textbook bipolar... which, maybe she would be if she'd admit it to herself and look for help. They all look at me like there's such a stigma on "mental illness". I think I'll just respect it as the little quirk it is, and accept the fact that it's my responsibility to keep it managed. At least I know when I feel an episode coming on I can hand the reins over to my husband and he'll step up to do whatever I normally would be so he can help me through it. And we know that I don't touch money or drive in the car alone at those times... even with him it's dangerous... it's amazing how many times I can get lost and sidetracked driving around the city I've lived in all my life. Now if she could just get a handle on herself, life might not be so chaotic around here. My mom's almost the same way, but WE (my little family unit, plus my brothers and step dad) accept it and know how to handle the situations.

My... that was a little bit of a rant.

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3/1/16 12:07 P

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I love it!! I am coming to realize it isn't just us. There are plenty of people out there that could use help, they just won't admit they have a problem and that is the first step!! Acceptance is the next. That took me years!! Have a great day!!

~~Angie ~~
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2/29/16 10:01 A

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Audrey
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My 5% goal

Current Weight 219
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By When: March 3, 2018


Winter 5% Challenge Plan
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Full Body strength training 3x a week
Only eat when hungry.
Drink that water!!!

EL for Winter 2018 5% Challenge Weight Warriors

Co-Leader of Living with Bipolar Disorder
Join Us!
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