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SWIM_2_SLIM's Photo SWIM_2_SLIM SparkPoints: (46,071)
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8/15/11 11:33 P

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I loved your story so far and would love to read the rest of it along with your other book! Keep up the great work!!!

Jean

Yes you can! Believe in your vision. Believe in your goals. Believe in your plan. More than anything else, believe in yourself.

D - Decide on an action plan.
E - Every thing is possible if you believe and work at it.
C - Consider your choices carefully.
I - Invite others to join you on your quest to become healthy.
S - Savor the feeling of each victory, big or small.
I - Invaluable lessons sometimes hurt, but are necessary for growth.
O - Optimism o


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SAMMIESMOM13's Photo SAMMIESMOM13 Posts: 6,297
8/15/11 9:44 P

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Oh, yes, I remember them well. :-) Would love to read your other book. Where is it published?

Carol
My Blog: natureartbyandre.blogspot.com
My website:
www.natureartists.com/carol_andre.as
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If one is to save oneself, one must take a step, and then another... C. S. Lewis



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CAROLINATREKKIE's Photo CAROLINATREKKIE SparkPoints: (0)
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8/15/11 6:27 P

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Hey Carol, thanks..... I really appreciate the idea. I've always wanted to turn my books into "Golden Books" -- remember them??? Not much of a story but lots of pictures. I would need an illustrator - I cannot draw to save my life!!

I've written another story called "Winter of the White Mice"... it's been published on line at some story sites. I've gotten good reviews of it. Maybe I'll post it one day, if no body objects.

"Beam me up"
"He's dead Jim"
"Live long and prosper"
"Space, the final frontier"
"Everybody remember where we parked"


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SAMMIESMOM13's Photo SAMMIESMOM13 Posts: 6,297
8/15/11 2:00 P

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It's a great story. The only thing I would say is perhaps the wording is a bit more toward "adult" language. Not a bad thing but if you are wanting to publish it you might want to "edit" it a bit and use other words more for "children". An example would be "hectic". I know "busy" isn't a very exciting word but you may be able to find a better one than that and still "simplify". I hope this is helpful, not hurtful. I only mean to be as helpful as possible. I also hope to write a children's book so I KNOW how hard it is! I have my story partially figured out, but I also hope to illustrate it myself so I'll have double trouble!

Carol
My Blog: natureartbyandre.blogspot.com
My website:
www.natureartists.com/carol_andre.as
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If one is to save oneself, one must take a step, and then another... C. S. Lewis



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ME_SONNIE's Photo ME_SONNIE Posts: 976
8/15/11 12:21 P

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That's great so far - thanks for sharing your book with us!
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Sonia

~Taking it one day at time~
For with God, all things are possible.

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8/15/11 9:15 A

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Thanks Ellen.... emoticon

"Beam me up"
"He's dead Jim"
"Live long and prosper"
"Space, the final frontier"
"Everybody remember where we parked"


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ESCHILDT's Photo ESCHILDT Posts: 2,939
8/14/11 10:42 P

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I really enjoyed reading your new book!! Thanks for sharing it with the team. I can't wait to read the rest now!! It is not a story just for children...we adults enjoy a good read! Andre will surely have some grand adventures!! You and your husband are very talented writers!!

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Ellen

Hugs, Ellen


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8/14/11 1:30 P

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I'm writing a children's book and I would really like to have some feedback on what you think of it so far. Please be honest.

Here it is:

Andre's Adventure

I can still remember the day that I was adopted by this warm-hearted lady. She made me feel wanted and loved. My two previous families were not very kind towards me but I accepted that and I knew someday my fate would change.

You know, it's not easy being a French poodle waiting for someone to love you. It's not like I didn't have any friends, I had lots especially this little guy whose name was Brody. Wow, he was wild and noisy, he would bark at anybody and anything that came within two feet of him. Brody would ask if I thought anybody would adopt us, I said, “Don't worry I know for a fact that there are people out there who want to love us.” I wanted Brody to have faith. Life in a pound can be very boring and scary.

It didn't take long for a young boy named Will to come to the pound and fall in love with Brody. They hit it off right away and as I watched them walk out I knew my day was coming soon.

So, on a beautiful spring day, it finally happened. There she was with her long brown hair all curled up on top of her head, glasses, jeans, tee shirt and flip flops; she walked into my life. That day, I went to my new home. It was a lovely place, not very big and I thought to myself, “I could get used to this!”

Her name was Linda and she decided to call me Andre. I liked that name, it was much better than my last one, Rowdy. I never liked that. We spent that first night getting to know each other. We had dinner around 6:00 pm and then we watched some TV and when it was time to go to sleep, she put me on her bed and told me good-night.

The next morning was wonderful; we started the day with a nice walk, had a little breakfast and Linda told me we were moving. I’m not sure if she was able to see the shocked look on my face, but I couldn’t believe what I had heard. I just got here and we were leaving? Then I saw all the boxes in the next room all packed and ready to go. Linda said, “Andre, I hope you like cold weather because we are going to Alaska.” Wow, I couldn’t believe that. I heard of Alaska when some of the workers at the pound talked about going on a cruise, but never thought I would ever go there.

For the next couple of days, it was very hectic. Linda said good-bye to her friends and family and the movers came for the boxes. She packed up her car with supplies that we would need for our ten day road trip. With all the excitement going on, I was really looking forward to this adventure.

I had no idea how much fun it was to ride in a car. Linda let me sit on her lap and I was able to stick my head out the window. The feel of the wind on my face was exhilarating! We made stops during the day so we could rest and I was able to go for a walk. The nights led us to hotel rooms and the comfort of our bed. At the break of day, we were back on the road.

The scenery along the way was magnificent and as Linda was reading her map, she would tell me which state we were in. We eventually traveled through 8 states and Canada before we arrived in Alaska. I was amazed at all the unusual animals I saw along the highways; there were bears, rams, elk and even moose. All I ever saw in the pound were cats and dogs.

Our first stop in Alaska was at the Visitor’s Center where a big sign with “Welcome to Alaska” hung. Linda approached a stranger and asked them if they would take a picture of us under the sign. Linda held me tight and gave the camera a great big smile. I could tell she was very excited to be here. We then got back into the car and drove to our new home.


"Beam me up"
"He's dead Jim"
"Live long and prosper"
"Space, the final frontier"
"Everybody remember where we parked"


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