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BARCLE's Photo BARCLE SparkPoints: (215,972)
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5/29/13 12:19 A

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"Oh, there's a Chocolate man" says Pip (then aged approx 3) upon seeing a Somalian man when walking round the supermarket with me - cute it was emoticon

Smile .... it makes people wonder what you're up to ;-)

It is far easier to MAKE time to exercise than it is to FIND time to exercise. You want results???? MAKE it happen.

Keep trying - you CAN do it - believe in yourself!


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SIRIRADHA1's Photo SIRIRADHA1 SparkPoints: (15,104)
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5/7/13 10:15 A

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No, no, no! It was a pristine white tampon from which she had peeled the paper cover!

May all sentient beings be happy!


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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/7/13 12:20 A

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My therapist could probably get another degree off of this thread. Then again, he has a story or two about HIS three kids...

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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CAROLINIA's Photo CAROLINIA Posts: 1,062
5/6/13 11:04 P

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Lmbo. Oh My.


"Associate yourself with people of good quality,for it is better to be alone than in bad company.

Booker T. Washington
SHIRAZSOLLY's Photo SHIRAZSOLLY SparkPoints: (14,052)
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5/6/13 11:57 A

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A used one, I presume? Or still in it's pretty pink plastic wrapper?

My brother (autistic) went into my mother's bathroom one day while she was at work and emptied her trash can to play with her space shuttles. He was 9, I think.

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5/6/13 11:13 A

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We had just decorated our Christmas tree when my DD (just two) proudly trotted out of the bathroom and hung a tampon next to the elf on the bottom bough.

May all sentient beings be happy!


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5/5/13 12:47 P

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Oh... and don't get me started on trying to keep her straight at a fancy catered wedding, when her eyeballs were just at the right height to see how beautiful all the food was. She tried to steal all the candy flowers and stuff them in her pockets.

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5/5/13 12:45 P

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Did the congregation crack up? The problem with stuff like that is that then these kids realize they have an audience... and they just continue trying to steal the show. My daughter (product of a mixed-religion family) was at her first Mass and very, very loudly started up a whine that she did not want to drink blood. No blood for her, nosiree... she wanted grape juice! People started giggling and she realized she was funny so she just amped it up. And no flesh of Christ either, because that was GROSS. Eeeewwwwwww... yuuucccckkkkeeeeeeeeeee... and by this time no one was giggling anymore and I was trying to haul her out of there, past a bunch of knees that were ready to give way for this rowdy girl.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/5/13 11:12 A

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I'll bet it was adorable!

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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GIA_ROSY's Photo GIA_ROSY Posts: 127
5/5/13 6:35 A

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My little nephew was making his first holy communion. At the alter after he received it, the priest raised his hand. Little Herbie thought he was getting a high five from the priest so he jumped up, and high fived him. It was more comical than embarrassing.



Rosy
"To Thine Ownself Be True" ~ Polonius

God Bless Our Troops
www.adoptaussoldier.org/


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5/4/13 10:40 A

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He is now installing security systems in government office buildings. Not very creative, but he does get to work alone. My daughter lives overseas, no doubt daily confirming the stereotype of loudmouth Americans. Dear Lord, just keep her out of the Middle East, where they have NO sense of humor about women like her.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/4/13 10:16 A

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I hope he's gone into creative arts! He reminds me of Cpl. Klinger and the excuses he'd make to get his Section 8 on M*A*S*H*.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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5/4/13 10:15 A

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Cat stew, eh? Well, being at a hospital, it probably looked just like cat food.

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5/4/13 10:13 A

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My son was a loner - and came up with creative excuses to be alone. (He would have enjoyed running over people with Frank's motorized wheelchair!)

When he didn't want to play at recess, he started bawling (age 5): "It's because my big toe got cut off!" The school called me at work and demanded to know why I didn't tell them about this accident. I asked them if they had bothered to take off his shoe and look for themselves. OF course they hadn't.

Another time he didn't want to play it was because he was "playing in his front yard with his baby brother and bad men came by and shot his baby brother dead." He started to cry. Again the school called me at work. I asked if they'd checked the records to see if he had any brothers at all.

Sorry, but by now, I figured they should have known... this was about his eighth or ninth fabrication. If he wasn't bleeding or puking I didn't want to leave work to come and get him.

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/4/13 10:10 A

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Frank was a patient in the Shriners Hospital near us several times. At Shriners if you weren't immediately post-op, your butt was out of bed. Meals were taken in a community dining room. One day the lunch was beef stew. Frank was a huge ALF fan at the time. As I fed him he cheerfully informed everyone there that he was from the planet Melmac like his hero and that the stew was ALF stew which was of course made with cat (ALF's favorite food). You could hear spoons drop everywhere. The dietitian cornered me. "I don't have enough fun getting them to eat the stew as it is, and your little brat..."

Huh? Mine? Oh, I'm just feeding him. I have no idea who he is...

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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CAROLINIA's Photo CAROLINIA Posts: 1,062
5/4/13 4:33 A

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My daughter was very independent from the start. By age 3 (now 33) she insisted on dressing herself. She was potty trained,but still had an accident in the poop department once in a while. One day in a large dep. store as I stood in line at the register,I caught a whiff of a foul odor. I whispered in her ear,did you poop in your panties? Loudly she answered, I don't got no panties on. Lmbo.

"Associate yourself with people of good quality,for it is better to be alone than in bad company.

Booker T. Washington
LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/4/13 12:18 A

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People think that because Frank is disabled, we were spared any of this. Oh, no. When he was about six the school decided to try him in a motorized wheelchair. He got hold of the joystick and off he went! Rolling over people's toes, ramming walls, cackling like a mad scientist in a monster movie. It was a VERY short experiment.

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SHIRAZSOLLY's Photo SHIRAZSOLLY SparkPoints: (14,052)
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5/4/13 12:16 A

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At four our kids seem to still be honest, whether we like it or not. My daughter (AGAIN! I do have a son, but he kept his mouth shut more) used to shout in stores lovely things like, "Mommy, I can't tell if that's a woman or a man!"
Over a woman who was wearing very, very short shorts from which her pubes protruded, "Mommy, that woman has hair on her butt"
etc... etc...
I hate to say it, but these outbursts were better than the fibs that came later from either one of them.

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SIRIRADHA1's Photo SIRIRADHA1 SparkPoints: (15,104)
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5/3/13 10:41 A

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What is it about church that brings out the worst? I was at a weekday mass attended by 4 people, the priest, and my son. So, the priest invites us all up to the altar to pray. He says, "Let's all hold hands." Devin pipes up, "I'm hot, I'm bored, I want to go home." He was 4 at the time.

May all sentient beings be happy!


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5/3/13 12:39 A

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My daughter's dad and I divorced when she was small. She decided to take matters into her own hands. TWICE she saw good looking men on the street and ran up to them and said, "Will you be my Daddy?"

To one of them she even added the extra pathetic plea: "I don't have a Daddy!"

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/3/13 12:14 A

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I wouldn't put it past him. Once when he was about eight I asked him a question. He replied, "In your face!" I spluttered, "Why, you little BRAT!" and he laughed and said, "Smart-a$$!"

It was on the tip of my tongue to correct him for his language, but then I thought, "You know? He's only telling the truth!"

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SHIRAZSOLLY's Photo SHIRAZSOLLY SparkPoints: (14,052)
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5/2/13 11:05 P

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At least he didn't shout that you were not!

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LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/2/13 9:21 P

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One time at the beginning of Mass the priest invited us to repent for our sins. Loud enough for the entire congregation to hear, Frank shouted, "I good!"

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SHIRAZSOLLY's Photo SHIRAZSOLLY SparkPoints: (14,052)
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5/2/13 11:29 A

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We are a mixed-religion family (like many modern families). When my kids were little, they thought nothing of it. We went to Buddhist ceremonies, Christian churches, Jewish shuls... it was all good. My daughter INSISTED she was going to give grace one night at a family gathering. I should have said no. We are Jewish. Our version of Grace is in Hebrew. But she said she could do it in English. She said:

"Father, we forgive you for this day. We forgive you for this meal. We forgive you for these people we are with..."

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CAROLINIA's Photo CAROLINIA Posts: 1,062
5/2/13 1:21 A

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So,there is an annual pig picking that Pops and I went to every year. We always met my daughters 2nd cousin and his wife there. This was the only time we saw them. After our grandson came to us at 14 mos. old we didn't go for a few yr. He was just to young to enjoy it. When he was 5 we decided to go just for the day. After dark the children were sent home and the adults loosened up a bit. so we are at the Pig picking and my grandson was dying to go look at the motorcycles. I had already talked to my friends wife and she informed me that her husband could give him a ride . So as we are walking along looking at bikes and keeping an eye open for my friends camping spot,my friend sees me. My friend comes up to me and gives me a big bear hug. when he puts his arms around me ,my grandson hollers at the top of his lungs,"get your hands off my mama, I'm telling Papa !"

"Associate yourself with people of good quality,for it is better to be alone than in bad company.

Booker T. Washington
LADYIRISH317's Photo LADYIRISH317 Posts: 56,370
5/2/13 12:47 A

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I can't tell you how many times after Mass we'd take Frank up to the altar and say, "Now we're going to tell Father we're sorry!"

"...there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."

"We're children of a fighting race that never yet has known disgrace." (The Soldiers' Song, Irish national anthem)

"Every day above ground is a good day." (Chef Justin Kennedy of New Orleans, on Chopped)

Please visit my blog:
www.cuisinequests.blogspot.com/


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SHIRAZSOLLY's Photo SHIRAZSOLLY SparkPoints: (14,052)
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5/2/13 12:07 A

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I'll start. When my daughter was three, I was taking B-12 shouts for anemia. I didn't look so good.

My daughter, lovely creature that she was, went running up to people to tell them, "My mommy uses needles!"

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