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GOODMEMORIES's Photo GOODMEMORIES Posts: 30,455
4/24/13 3:33 P

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That was a great picker-upper, Carolyn! I didn't know you could browse for jokes. I'm afraid I don't make maximum use of my Internet -- I seldom go "browsing" so I'm probably a century behind everyone else!

Now I find out my old computer, which is about 5 years old now, will not connect to the Internet with the Wireless system we have from Verizon. So........ after doodling with it for awhile and unable to get results, my DH just ordered me a new laptop, which he said is about 5 times better than his (but at a fraction of the cost). The Scotch in me likes that.

Trying to find the silver lining in all the clouds!

Eve - Pacific time (AZ)


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GOODHAPPENS1's Photo GOODHAPPENS1 SparkPoints: (141,367)
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4/23/13 4:04 A

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The best sermons are lived not spoken! Think about it! twitter facebook


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PSHOWS's Photo PSHOWS SparkPoints: (6,492)
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3/11/13 1:34 P

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Those are hilarious!

"Nothing builds self-esteem and self confidence like accomplishment."
Thomas Carlyle


The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook Theartofbeingwiseisknowingwhattooverlook


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WHITNEYTEACHER's Photo WHITNEYTEACHER Posts: 6,266
3/11/13 12:30 P

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OK everyone,
I started out the day in a real diet (excuse me, “lifestyle change”), exercise funk. I feel like I’m going nowhere fast and am getting frustrated! Daylight Savings Time is making me grumpy! I even wrote my blog today about it. Since I prefer to be a positive person all this negativity was only making me grumpier – can you see the beginnings of a cycle here? So I decided to look online for some weight loss jokes, hoping I could cheer myself up a little. I’m not sure my “grump” is completely gone but a few chuckles didn’t hurt so I decided to share a few. Feel free to add more, I think we all need to step back, regroup and laugh at ourselves from time to time. Here are a few that made me laugh:

GOOD NEWS: Bacon is found to be good for you.
BAD NEWS: Only if it is boiled.

DIET PILLS
"I'm prescribing these pills for you," said the doctor to the overweight patient, who tipped the scales at about three hundred pounds. "I don't want you to swallow them. Just spill them on the floor twice a day and pick them up, one at a time...."

YOU KNOW IT’S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN......
You try to do a few push ups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor....

I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes
He would have put them up higher on my body.

Aerobics: a series of strenuous exercises which help convert fats, sugars, and starches into aches, pains, and cramps.

If your dog is fat, you're not getting enough exercise.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

You know that you’re out of shape when you can’t pull supermarket shopping carts apart

I prefer sit-ups to jumping jacks. At least I get to lie down after each one

Calories (noun); Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night


My name is Carolyn
(Whitney is my last name, I'm a retired high school biology teacher = WHITNEYTEACHER)
Grants Pass, Oregon



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