Group photo
Author:
SHARI0721's Photo SHARI0721 Posts: 23
6/8/10 8:18 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am so sorry to hear that you went thru this. I hope that your BF gets some help. The ADA in your area really has you and other special people to thank. You all were the real heroes in this situation. I can not imagine how disappointing this is.
Shari

 current weight: 144.4 
148
143.25
138.5
133.75
129
HONEYBEAR027's Photo HONEYBEAR027 Posts: 1,058
6/8/10 4:01 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
(((SUPER))) - big 'ole hugs to you. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. What a mess! I would be so disappointed in BF and the giant mess he left for you to pick up. It is hard to deal with that level of callousness from someone who is supposed to love and support you.

Good job on making it happen anyway!

-Honey

 Pounds lost: 3.0 
0
4.25
8.5
12.75
17
HMB621's Photo HMB621 SparkPoints: (4,136)
Fitness Minutes: (2,393)
Posts: 166
6/7/10 8:18 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm glad the race turned out okay in spite of all the set backs. (and the rain... ugh!) Be strong and take care of yourself!

 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
6.25
12.5
18.75
25
SUPERDUPER26's Photo SUPERDUPER26 Posts: 1,553
6/7/10 1:28 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So the ride went off without too much problem. Sure, there were little things, like I only knew of 6 rest stops, so we only made 6 boxes but it turned out there were 7. We did a last minute scramble to find another box and scavenge food/napkins/water from the other 6 so all were stocked. There weren't enough bib numbers, but that was cleared up with giant half page sticker/labels that were numbered by hand and given out instead. We didn't find any raffle tickets, which is funny because I thought I had seen a giant roll of them somewhere, but I guess that may have been at work...anyhow I wasn't back in time for the door prizes so I'm not sure how they did those but I guess it worked okay because nobody said anything to me. And I still rode, a friend and I did the 25k, which was a reasonable ride even despite the rain that never let up, so it wasn't even like I didn't get to participate.

Emotionally I'm okay. Not great. But okay. It is what it is and I can't go back in time to prevent it so I might as well just deal. I'm getting better at that.
It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few months though....

 current weight: 173.5 
180
174.75
169.5
164.25
159
HHI0901's Photo HHI0901 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (22,391)
Posts: 1,641
6/5/10 11:55 A

Send Private Message
Reply
That really does sound horrible. I'm sorry you have had to do all that extra work to make up for his mistake but I hope everything goes (or went) smoothly. I also really hope you guys can work through this because it sounds like you've spent so much time together.

 current weight: 164.8 
181
170.75
160.5
150.25
140
HMB621's Photo HMB621 SparkPoints: (4,136)
Fitness Minutes: (2,393)
Posts: 166
6/5/10 9:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I can't even imagine what you're going through. All I can say is, find support where you can (family, friends) and hang in there. Most importantly, take care of yourself! Best wishes to you...

Heather

 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
6.25
12.5
18.75
25
SUPERDUPER26's Photo SUPERDUPER26 Posts: 1,553
6/5/10 6:34 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So just a fair warning before you start reading, this one's long and there's not a happy ending....

Last winter our local ADA office position (its an office of 1) opened up, and my BF of 8 years (some rockier than others) applied and was given the job. I was pretty excited for a few reasons, not the least of which was because it made me feel so important and cared-for: he felt so strongly about my health that he decided to not just donate once a year, and not just to go for a bike ride in the name of a good cause, but to commit himself to 35 hours a week, 52 weeks a year in the name of making a better life for those with diabetes. I felt special in a way that I didn't know existed.

Flash forward 4 months, and our Tour de Cure is this weekend. Actually, today now. Its currently the ONLY fundraiser/event that ADA hosts in the area, so its a pretty big deal if this is your job. I ride in the Tour every year, and I make it all about me: all of these people, the hundreds of people who make this ride happen every year, come out to support ME. For a few hours each year, I feel like diabetes isn't a burden because there are so many many people who care.

BF isn't one of them it turns out. He didn't come home last night, and didn't come home this morning, which is particularly problematic because the office is in my living room. (There's no money in the budget to rent office space, so the chosen candidate must sacrifice some living space to the job.) With one day to go, he up and disappeared. Gone, poof. I called his boss and asked if she'd heard from him today... no. Nobody had. And the t-shirts were gone. All 120 t-shirts also gone, poof!

Now, 12 hours after I reported him missing, 13 hours after I called his boss in a minor panic, 12.5 hours after I checked with the police, the state troopers, the jail, the few people I thought he might have talked to yesterday, 40 hours since I last saw him with my eyes, 36 hours since last e-contact, he's still MIA. And that means, among lots of other stupid things, that he dropped the ball on MY ride. He doesn't care after all.

And now, after spending the afternoon/evening posting route signs, hauling paperwork, answering phone calls, coordinating things I never even knew had to be coordinated, dozens of phone calls with his boss (who flew up to help after I called her this afternoon), I feel so horribly disappointed, misled and let-down I don't even know where to start. Sure, the ride will still happen, lots of people will turn out, the world will keep turning, but the person who I wanted most to care, bailed on me. The person whose caring meant the world to me, skipped out. And it turns out he's not done half of the legwork that he said he'd done. The hundreds of times he said he called this place or that place and organized this part or that part, didn't happen. He's been faking it, and that hurts. All the special I felt was fake, and I'm so disappointed I don't even have words for it.

Eventually, the t-shirts showed up, a friend of his who he hadn't talked to in months came knocking on the door and said he had a trunk full of t-shirts, and the story come out that BF went on a bender (he's had an alcohol problem for some time now), took the t-shirts to the friend's PARENTS'S house, asked them to sort them by size and fold them (they didn't, understandably so), and told them he needed a ride to the hotel right next to the airport because he had a plane ticket to Cleveland where he had a job offer in a publishing house and he was leaving at 6am (all of this happening last night, so Thursday late and planning to leave Friday morning so as to skip out of town before the ride on Saturday). They dropped him off at the hotel at midnight, and brought me the t-shirts this afternoon. Bizarre, yes? Unaswered questions abound, and yet through it all, I'm most upset that he dropped my event. Sure, I'm mad that he would leave like that (which I'm pretty sure he didn't) and I'm mad that he could do this in general, and I'm mad that he let the drinking get such a hold on him, and I'm mad that I let him have a drinking problem for so long without booting him out to go ruin his own life on his own, but seriously, I'm most upset that he didn't care about any of this enough to even ask for help, which by the way came pouring in this afternoon when I and a few others started making phone calls so there's no excuse about people not helping.

Sigh. And now its 2:30am, I have to be up at 6:30am, and my BG is too low to go to bed with. The only "special" I feel is "especially screwed", and let this whole mess just be a lesson to me that some people care, but NOTHING- no event, no job, no nothing- is ever just about me, and that way, I can't be so gut-wrenchingly disappointed again.

 current weight: 173.5 
180
174.75
169.5
164.25
159
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Type 1 Diabetes General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:



Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x13537x34600338

Review our Community Guidelines