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NDTEACHER1's Photo NDTEACHER1 Posts: 2,622
5/27/13 11:34 P

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Thanks for always being so understanding and kind. I feel you are one of the best leaders and your encouragement is one of the things that makes you so outstanding. Thank you again.

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 17,135
5/27/13 11:07 P
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Sorry you're going through this. Overeating is a powerful habit! I remember many times feeling ready to cry even as I ate and wondering what in heaven's name was ever going to make me stop. Yet the tide turned. I believe in your healing, even if it isn't obvious now. In the meantime, I hope you can hang onto the sure knowledge that this is only a small part of who you are, and that you are very worthy of your own compassion. emoticon

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


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NDTEACHER1's Photo NDTEACHER1 Posts: 2,622
5/27/13 10:38 P

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I have been out of control for a while, clothes don't fit, gaining weight, feeling like bingeing over and over and hate it when I do it, bad binges too, half a bag of chips big candy bars, just on and on!

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MEDDYPEDDY's Photo MEDDYPEDDY Posts: 8,369
5/26/13 2:49 A

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To have trigger food easy to reach is something I just canīt manage. Today that is, there might be a day when it will be possible bur having leftovers in the fridge would absolutely make me eat them. And I could be told it is a choice that I can make a million times - it just does not work that way, if I put myself in that situation there is no choice left, my brain is definitely not working sane... where the choice is (today) is much earlier in the process. I know that I need a list to go shopping and that nothing outside the list is allowed. It is preferrable to buy food that takes at least 20 minutes to prepare. It is a danger to cook more than one serving of something yummy, in that case I need to freeze the leftover - if there is one serving left it might be saved in the fridge for the next meal but I have tried many times to save a leftover from lunch for the next day, have something else for dinner - ande ate the leftover lunch at night.

In my mind I still have not surrendered to the fact that I am powerless, I still have the thought that I could do it in my own way. And I am proven wrong over and over. But - in my defence - I have also tried the "right" way according to OA, I have gotten a sponsor and done all the things I was told to - and it inevitably crashed after a while.

I managed to give up drinking (and smoking) and wonder how come that worked. Because it was giving up totally, with food I have to handle it. And with food I donīt get recognised with respect as having a disease.

I have come to the point where I hate eating - but I still do it. It does not give any relief anymore, the anxiety starts with the first bite of food I have not planned for.


"Trust God and buy broccoli."

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METAMORPHANNA's Photo METAMORPHANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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5/20/13 12:45 P

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Thanks for all the support - and the ideas for distractions and deterrents. I really like the freezer idea! I don't have a microwave either, so I'd have to think long and hard about what I was doing waiting for the servings to reheat. My boyfriend always makes a lot of food because I generally take leftovers to work. Usually I'm smart enough to portion them out, and generally leave them alone, but with things like mac and cheese, I have a really hard time.

I did really good the rest of the day - and today is a new one! It's a good time to start fresh.

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OOLALA53's Photo OOLALA53 Posts: 17,135
5/20/13 9:38 A
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You didn't blow anything. You simply overate. It's not a moral issue.

Triggers make you WANT to eat, but they don't MAKE you eat. This doesn't mean you are supposed to whip yourself if you eat in the presence of one, but just that you accept that you have a choice of whether to eat or not even if you actually choose to eat. It may feel automatic, and it is a very strong habit supported by strong neurochemicals, but unless you're sleep walking, it is a choice and at any moment, you can actually stop. When you really get this, it is great news. It means we CAN learn not to just keep following impulses and we don't have to depend on their going away, though we are perfectly free to manipulate our environment to make them less likely.

We've all done this at one time or another!

You'll need to come up with a strategy for such foods as the mac and cheese when you're vulnerable. Why is there so much there? Was it before the meal? Could you have divided it into servings and frozen any large amounts you didn't need for upcoming meals? Most slim cultures don't keep a lot of cooked food ready to eat around. The freezer can help us simulate that, though I've been known to eat some pretty weird frozen things! But it is definitely a deterrent. (And I don't have a microwave, so heating things is a bit of trouble.)

Anyway, as soon as you can, get back to your routine. You DO have a routine of eating real meals of satisfying amounts, right? No trying to meet some low calorie range. Satisfy yourself at real meals and then keep reminding yourself when the urges come that there is NO good reason to eat, you had a meal and you will again in a few hours. You CAN tolerate urges and impulses safely.

Hang in there!

Seven years of maintaining a 20% weightloss and counting.
*To seek happiness, identifying the Self with the body, is like trying to cross a river on the back of a crocodile." Ramana Maharshi
*The No S Diet saved me from my emotional eating defeats.
8 years and counting! nosdiet.com/
*Get to the next meal hungry!
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=1323


3,842 Days since:  I began the NO S lifestyle
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MKATE88's Photo MKATE88 Posts: 1,174
5/20/13 7:36 A

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Binge eating is so hard when someone else is in the picture. Good luck this week!

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5/19/13 6:54 P

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Sounds like you have a lot of things going on right now!

Try going for a short walk instead of eating (but I understand -pasta is a binge food for me also)

Hope your life goes back to normal soon......in the meantime,do the best you can and be kind to yourself. emoticon

HOUNDLOVER1's Photo HOUNDLOVER1 Posts: 8,869
5/19/13 6:07 P

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Once the triggers are there it is often too late to do anything. Don't blame yourself. But now might be the time to talk to anyone you are around on a daily basis to see if triggers can be avoided all together. Sometimes people have no idea how difficult they make things for you. If you think they really care about you they deserve the chance to be helpful and therefore need to be told.
I know that stress and sleep deprivation make a huge difference for most people. Maybe it's worth making other lifestyle changes to lower stress like going to school part-time?
Birgit

Edited by: HOUNDLOVER1 at: 5/19/2013 (18:09)
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN OTHERS.

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CAMAEL100's Photo CAMAEL100 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/19/13 5:29 P

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Have you thought about just telling him? He may be more supportive than you think. I certainly don't think he will be any harder on you than you are on yourself. Try not to feel bad about yourself or to be harsh on yourself. It happened, now move on!

The important thing is that your binge episodes are less frequent and while we may never be 'cured', that is a huge success.




Margaret

Never give up, never quit, never surrender

You only fail when you stop trying

There is nothing to hold you back except you.

You can press forward long after you can’t. It’s a matter of wanting it bad enough.

The bad news is: we are our own worst enemies. The good news is: we are our own greatest champions.


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METAMORPHANNA's Photo METAMORPHANNA SparkPoints: (0)
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5/19/13 5:20 P

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Hi All. I don't really post a whole lot - I go through phases where I feel like I'm getting my eating under control... emoticon Yeah. I know these binges will probably never be anything I'm "cured" of and I know that they are what's keeping me from losing weight. I'll do great for a while, start shedding pounds and then, boom - binge for a week and end up back at my starting point again.

Enter this week - busy, busy, busy. I have a high stress job, it's hard work and there's other drama that makes it even more stressful. On top of that, I go to school full time at night. Had a LOT to do last week, so was working up until bedtime every day last week. Binged, a lot more than I would like to admit. Today I've been cramming for a test and I know there's a trigger food in the fridge. My boyfriend made home made mac and cheese with smoked gouda and cheddar - I mean, yum, right? Well, I've been sneaking into the fridge and eating it all weekend. He just left to run some errands and I went straight to the fridge and finished off yet another helping - we JUST ate lunch before he left. Ugh.

I feel compelled. I know it's in there and I know it tastes good and I know I don't want to be studying and I'm nervous about this test. Perfect storm.

Now I'm terrified that he's going to figure out what I've done. It's disgusting. I feel awful.

I guess I just needed to vent.

Thanks for listening.



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