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SNH0884 Posts: 5
10/28/09 8:00 A

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I travel a lot for work so I spend a lot of time alone in hotels. So I was the worse kind of closet eater. I would stop through the drive thru and order enough food for two people. Eat and then purge and then go out and get something "healthy" like a salad. What made matters worse despite purging after binging I still put on weight. So, about two months ago I decided to stop the bad habit and follow a healthier path to weight loss.

CC_410 Posts: 2
10/13/09 12:01 A

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So, I just joined this website, as well as this team.. and the first thread title that got my attention was this one as I have been doing this for at least half my life! I swear I thought I was the only one who was a "closet eater", and am so glad to find out I'm not!

I grew up in part of a yours, mine, and ours family (mom, step-dad, brother, step-brother, half-sister & me) with a strict step-father and an emotional eating mother... so I became an emotional eater as well - to deal with stress, boredom, etc. I started sneaking extra snacks into my room to eat while doing homework in middle school or thereabouts and it has been my biggest downfall since.

I'm now 24 and married, but back to living with my parents while waiting for my husband's visa (he's a UK citizen). All 3 of my siblings are in college or in their own apartments, so I'm the only one living back home with the parents. I work from home and am by myself during the day for 3 days every week, so find those to be my biggest binge periods - of course, I hide the evidence afterward!

Back in August, I started a "lifestyle change" and was committed to losing the weight once and for all! Diet and exercise was great for about a month and a half and then a relative passed away and I "fell off the wagon" so to speak. Added to that, it's been 5 months since I last saw my husband and it feels like forever.

I need to lose this weight and keep it off. For me, my husband, and our future family. HELP!!!

INTOTHEJAM2's Photo INTOTHEJAM2 SparkPoints: (26,724)
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9/22/09 2:38 P

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I used to be really bad about closet eating. Luckily, it eventually got to the point that I couldn't eat that much, which put an end to it, but I still catch myself slipping up every once in a while. They make it too easy, especially when you only have one roommate, and they work when you're not working. It's a constant battle. When I'm having a 'hungry' day, I eat extra green veggies with meals and drink extra water to have a more filling effect. That way, I feel full to the point that there's no way I could eat anything else, even if it was right in front of me & wouldn't hurt me.

Working torward a happier me!

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100IN12's Photo 100IN12 Posts: 36
9/19/09 11:41 P

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Oh man, me too. You name it I've done it.

I used to go to Target and raid their chocolate/candy/chip aisles, come home, shove it under my bed and eat it over a couple of days, if I even stretched it that far. In fact, I still have a bag under there right now, full of empty wrappers. The last time I bought the stuff was mid-August, about three weeks before I started the blog and started eating healthy and getting back into the gym.

I need to put it in the trash but I'm trying to find a time to take it out myself without my parents (I still live at home) seeing it. So I'm not closet eating anymore, but I still feel like I'm hiding a bit. I don't want to admit that I did this.

Oh also, if I didn't keep it under my bed, and say I just came home with fast food or whatever, I would put my trash in the trash can, but deliberately put it UNDERNEATH any trash that was in there to try and hide it.

Also, my parents are snowbirds in Florida from about January-March, and they leave me to take care of the house, etc. The day after they left in January I went to the store and bought ice cream, a CAKE, frozen pizza, other junk foody appetizers, cookies, chips, soda, you name it. And to add to it, I spread out my purchases over more than one store so it didin't seem so bad, in case cashiers were judging me. Really I was judging myself.

So for three and a half months I gorged myself on all of the foods above, plus ordering chinese or pizza like once or twice every two weeks. It was BAD.

And forget about work. At my old job I used to go to Au Bon Pain every day and get a sandwich, chips, and soup. I went there so much one of the workers would recognize me and knew what sandwich I got! There was also a nearby CVS and I spent a lot of money going there and buying chocolate or Combos or whatever to snack on in the ol' cubicle.

Sorry for the lengthy post, but I can totally relate! And it does feel good to put it out there and let go of it.



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MRSNANABOAT's Photo MRSNANABOAT SparkPoints: (52,803)
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4/13/09 12:57 P

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I still struggle with closet eating, although it isn't quite as bad as it had been for the past year or so. I'm ashamed to admit that my husband was deployed to Iraq for 15 months and got paid extra money and most of it went in my mouth! I would eat McDonald's on the way to work(only thing open when I went in so early), and usually get BK or something on the way home, usually eating in the car so my family wouldn't see. I'd often go out at 11 PM or later and drive to Wendy's which was a good 20+ miles away from my house, to get a meal before they closed, and if I didn't eat it on the way home, I would go inside, everyone asleep, close the door to my room and stuff my face while I sat on the computer or watched tv. For awhile I just couldn't stop, I knew I was eating way too much, and spending way too much, but I was sad and depressed and a host of other emotions and I just ate ate ate. I knew it wasn't good, and that's why I hid it from everyone.

I also still go through the same thing in the car, if I'm eating I will put the food down lower and stop eating when I come to a red light because I know the people in the car next to me are saying, "Oh look at her, she is fat and eating a Whopper." At least that's what I think in my own mind that they are thinking about me.

I remember one night a few years back, this was when I really started gaining weight, I think I went to four different fast food place, probably had about 6,000 calories worth of junk I would guess, I ate until I literally couldn't eat anymore. All the while I was thinking Ugh I am so disgusting. But I didn't stop.

I've done a lot better since my husband has been home the past two months. We've made a pact together to eat healthier and not eat out as much. I've finally become so disgusted with myself and how much weight I've gained, and mad about the fact that we could have had all our bills paid off and be out of debt by now, but still have debt because we blew all that money on meaningless stuff, that I've cut back a lot on the closet eating.

But, I have twice gone out when he doesn't know and gone to BK, however I got a kids meal so not quite as bad. So I'm not completely out of the water, but I have improved quite a bit compared to how I was even at the end of last year before he came home.

Sorry for the long post, just wanted you to know you aren't the only one who struggles with this issue!


The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke


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MANDER85's Photo MANDER85 Posts: 2
4/8/09 1:34 A

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Closet eating is one of my main problems, I struggle with this so much!! I like to eat comfort food, I work till 11 at night so on the way home I want to eat to relax...grab a couple of burgers or tacos...I also eat it on the way to work. I want to eat healthy and not the junk food at the drive-thru's, I almost wish they would ban all drive thru's b/c it is so bad for our health. Your not the only one, I started about a week ago of trying not to eat past 6 or 7...and when I think about food, just drink lots of water or at my work they have crushed ice in the break room and i LOVE to eat ice and it helps me not eat and I make myself drive the back way home so I don't go past any food places..plus in the long run it will save money..go home take a hot shower and get ready for bed..but don't think about food...it is hard and I messed up a few times but each day is new and just start over...Good Luck!! Also eating the ice is like drinking water and helps rid your body of "junk"...I notice my hands are not as swollen and my fingers are slimmer. The sodium from pop makes me swell so bad, and I don't hardly drink any pop.. sorry so long!! :-)!!!



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MICHELLE1083's Photo MICHELLE1083 Posts: 1,200
3/22/09 10:42 P

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I have definitely struggled with closet eating my entire life. This is definitely something I have been thinking about for the past few weeks, and it was so strange that I ran across this topic. Anyway, I group in a large, multi-generational home (mom, me, two sisters, one brother, grandfather and great-grandmother) and although we always had enough food, there usually wasn't enough for everyone to have leftovers of "fun" food like pizza, chips, candy, cookies, and the "good" cereal. So we would have enough for everyone to have pizza for dinner, but whoever got to the leftovers first got to enjoy the "fun" meal again. So basically, it came down to the early bird getting the worm. And in my case, I wanted to make sure I got the worm every time. In high school, it became even easier to closet eat. I went to an all-girls high school, but we had appetites that rivaled football player's. Sometimes, we would each order a personal pizza, a side of ranch dressing, an order of french fries drowning in cheese and bacon bits. My friends stayed skinny, but I kept piling on the pounds. After school, I would stop by a drive thru, grab a burger and go to work. On my way home from work (usually around 10pm or so) I would stop by another burger place or taco joint and grab more food. Like everyone else, I would eat it in my car on the way home. I would then be up all night studying, so I would grab a bag of chips to keep me company.
I thought I was doing a lot better since I grew up, but a few weeks ago, I knew my fiancee wouldn't be home, so I stopped at burger king. I got a tendercrisp chicken sandwich, king fries and pop, an order of onion rings and two tacos. I couldn't believe how disgusting I felt. I was so embarrassed at the amount of food I had eaten that I took the garbage out so there wouldn't be evidence in the apartment. He had mentioned to me that he knows that I eat more after he goes to work (he works nights), but I really have tried to be better and make concious decisions not to eat. If I know I am going to be up late, I try to have a later dinner so I won't be tempted to snack. Or I try to make sure I still have 100-200 calories at the end of the day to allow for nightime snacking. If all else fails, I just go to sleep. Sorry for the RIDICULOUSLY long message. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to.

Michelle

"Pain is your friend, your ally, it will tell you when you are seriously injured, it will keep you awake and angry, and remind you to finish the job and get the hell home. But you know the best thing about pain?
It lets you know you're not dead yet! "
-GI Jane


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BECCA28TN's Photo BECCA28TN Posts: 27
3/8/09 1:39 P

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Hi,

I am definitely a closet eater. I say "am" because it's something that I still struggle with. I used to (and sometimes still do) stop on the way home to go through the drive through when I KNOW that my husband is home cooking or that I'm going out to eat later with friends... WHY?????? I'm not even that hungry when I do it, it's just compulsive. I completely empathize with Juliana in her post below about feeling like people are thinking that I'm disgusting because of what I shovel into my mouth driving down the road. I disgust myself when I do it. I have to make a huge effort to pack my lunch and snacks in the morning because if I don't, no matter that my intention is to buy a salad during lunch, I usually end up with 2000 calories of crap, plus a dozen trips to the vending machine. I keep fresh fruit in my refrigerator so when I want something sweet I have something on hand instead of having to go to the store for it.

This is still something that I'm working on daily and every day I'm getting closer to overcoming it.

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there. -- Unknown


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ANAMOLY85's Photo ANAMOLY85 Posts: 193
3/4/09 3:22 P

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Hey there.

So, this is a serious problem that I have dealt with to some extent. And it has taken me a LONG LONG time to deal with this habit.

I definitely would hide my eating habits from my family. Sadly, I had a CVS right next door to where I worked, and almost every day I would stop by after work get a bag of chips and a box of cookies and eat them in the traffic on the way home. I would almost always finish the entire thing and if not, it would be my breakfast on the way to work the next morning. I remember thinking that people in the cars next to me were looking into my car and saying what a disgusting person I was - Obviously, that is just what I thought of myself.

I WASTED SO MUCH MONEY ON FOOD. Now, I am back in school and I wish I wouldn't have spent that money on food... I was spending almost $10 a day, 3 or 4 timies a week. My paychecks were meaning nothing 'cuz I was eating them!

I got so angry with myself and just told myself to STOP! I stopped bringing my check card to work - Can't buy any food without money. When I was in the mood for food (grazing at night when the family as asleep) I really to stopped to think about what I was doing. I gave myself the choice to eat and often times, even though I was upset about it, I closed the refrigerator door, and walked away. Yet, other times, I would give in - BUT, at least I had a choice.

Right now, I am ready to take care of me. Telling myself, every day, that I am worth fighting for is a big deal and somehow, it stops me from buying cookies at the grocery store.

I don't want you to destroy yourself! You know you can change your habits. You just have to take ONE THING AT A TIME. It may take a loooooong time, but that is the only way that works for me, and it may work for you too.

Also, I started seeing a counselor, and we are working on creating small goals for me and figuring out rewards (other than food) for maintaining good habits. I would definitely recommend this for you, especially if you are dealing with post-partum.

I would love to talk more about this with you if you'd like. This is a very hard thing to control, and it isn't fair when the people around you are eating things that are "forbidden." It's all about changing the way you look at things...

Oh well, I'll stop my epically long post.

Hope this helps!

Take care,
Juliana

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KRAGUCCI's Photo KRAGUCCI Posts: 18
3/4/09 2:18 P

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It's really hard for me to reach out to people about this subject. It's embarrassing...But I am a closet eater. I tend to eat when there is no one around. It's a daily challenge for me to not drive thru somewhere on my way to work or on my way home. No matter if I'm full or hungry. I also eat late at night when everyone is asleep, or I eat while I'm cooking too. I know I do use food to deal with my stress and emotions, which have been bad lately because I honestly do believe I have postpartum depression still.
I feel like I'm slowly destroying myself. Diets or "life changes" go well for about a week and then I'm back to my usual binge eating. I don't know how to control it. I honestly need help.

Do any of you deal or have dealt with this? (Maybe not as extreme as myself.) Did you overcome it? How do you deal with it?

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