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Are You Dishing Out The "Leftovers" of Love To Your
Written by Beth Young

Are you involved in so many activities each day that
they use up a lot of your mental and physical stores?
When as you finally sit down to relax with your
sweetheart, are you pretty much spent and only have
love leftovers to give?

It's going to take more than Julia Childs' amazing
recipes or Paul Newman's fancy dressings so solve your
leftover problem. So read on and discover the 5 secret
weapons to get rid of the "love leftover" crisis in
your home!

Secret Weapon #1 - Realize there will be times when
Love Leftovers are Acceptable

Now admit it, we've all done it at one point or another
in our marriage relationship. You remember, it was
after that long week of working overtime at work on a
special project and getting home at night with just
enough energy to plop in front of the TV to watch the
evening news with your wife. Yes, you were dishing out
love leftovers.

Or was it during the first three months of having a new
baby and barely keeping your eyes open through all the
night feeds, wet diapers and colic.

You were doing good to get your cloths on straight,
let alone actually think about doing anything for your
husband. Yes, you were dishing out love leftovers.

There are some times in our life that spouses need to
be flexible and realize that they can't be the focal
point and are going to get love leftover. So it's
important to be supportive and understanding during
these times.

The operative word here is "some times". However, if
we develop a habit of always putting the needs of our
work, our children, our other extra curricular
activities before the needs of our spouse, then we're
headed for disaster.

How long can you tolerate dinner leftovers? Once or
twice a week is tolerable, but making a regular diet of
leftovers isn't too appealing. The same holds true to
"love leftovers."

A strong relationship can easily tolerate love leftovers
during difficult times. However, the relationship will
flounder if it becomes the status quo.

Secret Weapon #2 - Limit Extracurricular Activities

If our spouse is the most important person in our life,
why would we consider only giving them leftovers?
Sometimes we get involved in extra curricular
activities and it's easy to let them receive more of
our time than our family.

I speak from experience, I was the PTA President at our
elementary school, the leader of our young women's
program at Church...and I had 5 children ages 3 to 10
years old. It's amazing that my husband still talked
to me after that!

If hardheaded Beth can change her ways, so can you. It
doesn't mean you become the neighborhood recluse; just
remember moderation in all things.

If you don't want to be dishing out leftovers all the
time, then you need to seriously evaluate all of the
extracurricular activities that you and your family
engage in each week.

To actually put this into application will require a
candid and understanding discussion of what things your
family really needs, how you two can better divide the
effort, and the ability to say no to some activities.

When you honestly think about it, do your children
really need to be involved in year round sports
activities, scouts, gymnastics, card and video game
leagues etc. to become contributing citizens?

Do you or your spouse always have to be the team coach,
team mom, den leader, on the homeowners association and
PTA board?

All of those activities are important, but the reality
is, you would do your family a service to limit
extracurricular activities to one or two at the most.
Then use that time to strengthen your marriage and
family relationships.

If you really want to be a rebel, try going a season
without involvement in any sporting may
discover that increased family time will do more to
build your child's self esteem than racing to 3
practices and 2 games a week.


Secret Weapon #3 - Remember Life Is A Marathon

It's important to remember that life is a marathon and
not a 50-yard dash. We need to pace ourselves and be
sure to save some of our reserves NOW for the person we
will spend the rest of our life with. Not just give
them all the leftovers.

Remember that there are seasons of your life when you
will need to decrease or increase your involvement in
volunteer activities. You are serving in your home
when you have little children. Once your kids are
older, it's easier to serve in your community.

In fact, one of our best volunteer ESL teachers in our
PTA is a retired lady whose children are grown and
gone. She now has the time to devote to preparing
English lessons for a class of 6 adult students. Bless
her heart for not wearing out her volunteer spirit at
age 30!

Secret Weapon Number #4 - Nurture Yourself Each Day
This may seem easier said than done, but it's just a
matter of creating a habit. Surprisingly, the best way
to have more than leftovers for your spouse is to set
aside AT LEAST 30 minutes at the beginning or end of
your day for yourself.

Whether your are a morning person or a night person,
this time will help you focus and draw strength for all
the is required of you each day.

This 'me time' should include reading and pondering
things of an inspirational nature. Whether it's a
study of scriptures, or the writings of motivational
authors, spend time strengthening your inner self.

After you have charged yourself, take a moment to
review the requirements of the coming day and mentally
note something special you will do for your spouse.

As you work to keep your spouse the focus of your life,
other things will naturally fall into place. You will
want to spend more time with them and discover that the
weekly date nights that you hear others rave about
really are something worth doing.


Secret Weapon #5 - The 15 Minute Tune-Up

Spend AT LEAST 15 minutes a day in uninterrupted,
meaningful conversation with your spouse. That means
no kids, no TV, no telephone, no excuses.(By the way,
between answering machines and caller ID, there is no
reason to stop this type of conversation with your
spouse to take a phone call.)

There needs to be time for you to discuss the successes
and failures of the day. When you keep in touch with
each other's lives, you keep your relationship strong.

These conversations help keep a balance in your life,
and offer encouragement and support for the daily

When you are in the twilight of your life, you will be
thankful that you invested heavily in your sweetheart
and you'll reflect upon the joy it brought to both your
spouse and your entire family.

Edited by: LIKINMENOW at: 4/7/2015 (16:18)
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