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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,379
8/12/14 11:34 A

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My dh and I spend date time/"us" time together. But we don't put such a high priority on it as this article suggests. What a great idea! Usually, we only put a high priority on it if we've spent money for tickets or something. We need to make it a priority EVERY time.

"Sorry. We're booked." I like that.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
7/20/14 3:02 P

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5 Simple Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage

1. Picture the future. Imagine yourself vibrant and full of life at 65 years old. What do you see? What would you like to be doing? Long after you’ve left your current company or they’ve downsized, what pieces of your life are most important? When your children have moved out and begun a family of their own, what will be left in your home? If your picture of the future, like mine, involves kicking back with a cool glass of lemonade and laughing with your spouse, now is the time to begin creating that future. What you are building today will be the home you live in 20, 30, 60 years from now.

2. Invest time in a like-minded friend. Some call them accountability partners. Others simply call them good company. Whatever you call them, find at least one friend who has the same desire in their life as you do so you can work toward those healthy goals together. When you begin drifting from the plan you set in place to create a happy and loving marriage – that will continue well into your retirement years- your friend will help bring you back to shore. With so much going on around us we can easily lose focus. So keep a friend close by who is positive and sees life as you do and will encourage you to live your life in line with your stated prioritizes.

3. Determine what prioritizing your marriage looks like to your spouse. Say something like this to your spouse: “I want to make you and our marriage a priority every day of my life. What does that look like to you?” Asking that question may yield some interesting results. What you think signifies making your spouse a priority could turn out to be completely different than how they see it. Questions like this can be humbling because oftentimes you discover you know less about what your spouse wants than you thought. But these humbling experiences are also incredibly rewarding. Remember, you and your spouse are constantly changing and evolving so questions like this keep you up to date on how they feel at this time of their life.

4. Make time to create a daily ritual. I know I’ve been talking about this all year but how could I not? After interviewing so many couples happily married for more than a quarter of a century, and learning they all have this in common, I’d be crazy not to mention it as often as possible. There are 1,440 minutes in each day and using 40 minutes of that for a daily ritual will be one of the greatest uses of your time all day.

5. Calendar your dates like a million-dollar meeting. “Sorry, we can’t join you for that as we already have something on our calendar,” is something we find ourselves saying often. And it is 100-percent true. There is something on our calendar: Us time. I learned this last year from a couple I interviewed in Australia. For decades, they’ve had “Date Night” on their calendar every Wednesday. When they get requests to go somewhere or do something else at that time, they immediately respond with, “We can’t. We’re booked.” If you had a million-dollar business idea and had a meeting scheduled with an investor who could make it happen, would you ever think to cancel it? That’s how you should treat this time with your spouse. Once it’s on the calendar, nothing short of an emergency of catastrophic proportions should cause you to cancel it.

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