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KAYAHSLOANE1's Photo KAYAHSLOANE1 Posts: 10,740
4/11/14 11:12 A

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I've only been married a few months now but the article is fairly spot on with numbers 3,4 & 7!
Its amazing how much you think you are ready to be married then married life kicks in and sometimes you have to put aside the it's all about me mentality! :)~

With number 3, my husband has learned to just listen even though he wants to solve the issues that crop up between us. He can solve the problems later but he learned sometimes I just want to be heard and not solved! On my end, I learned waiting until the night time before discussing serious issues because its when my husband is the most responsive to my needs.

On number 4, the SO and I learned as much as we love one another we had bad habits and attitudes because we were focused more on what we wanted versus what the other wanted and what was good for the both of us. We had to learn to think of things in regard to marriage and what would be helpful instead of the individual desires.

With number 7, we are constantly trying to refine our character to serve one another in terms of making sure we are both happy with the direction our relationship is going. Sometimes its more give than take but it evens out!

I'm always game for good advice on how to improve our relationship and marriage~



Edited by: KAYAHSLOANE1 at: 4/11/2014 (11:15)
Kayah NV
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"If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so. Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay."



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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
3/14/14 6:13 P

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I liked those too, Laura. I also appreciated 6 and 8.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
3/4/14 4:57 P

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DELIA38961 so happy you jumped right in!! WTG!!

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DELIA38961's Photo DELIA38961 SparkPoints: (37,314)
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3/4/14 4:53 P

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I love learning ways to strengthen my marriage

delia* believe in yourself and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish

its only considered failure when you quit trying

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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 8,185
2/23/14 8:39 A

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Great words of wisdom. I liked 2 and 4.

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
2/23/14 6:36 A

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Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage
Here are 10 principles that will help you create and maintain a successful marriage.
by Mitch Temple

Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience trial and error.

Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:

1.Happiness is not the most important thing. Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
2.Couples discover the value in just showing up. When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
3.If you do what you always do, you will get same result. Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
4.Your attitude does matter. Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
5.Change your mind, change your marriage. How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
6.The grass is greenest where you water it. Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
7.You can change your marriage by changing yourself. Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
8.Love is a verb, not just a feeling. Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" when it feels good and when it doesn't.
9.Marriage is often about fighting the battle between your ears. Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person and so did their spouse.
10.A crisis doesn't mean the marriage is over. Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.


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