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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/8/14 10:39 A

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Thank you and I am so grateful for any comments. I can very much relate to not always being able to post.

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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 7,945
1/8/14 9:00 A

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I always enjoy your posts. Like I've said before I may not always reply to them but I do read them all.

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/7/14 1:51 P

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Glad you like them!

Please know that it is not always easy finding posts, plus easier not knowing what team members would like. It is so very important to spell it out for me, just like Laura did.Thank you so very much!

Edited by: LIKINMENOW at: 1/7/2014 (13:53)
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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 7,945
1/7/14 12:56 P

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Thank you!

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/7/14 12:10 P

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Here are some affection ideas for the wife show her husband:

1. Give him a warm and tight hug along with a light kiss, either on the cheeks or the forhead, as many times a day as you can or each time you come across one another. This could mean before getting out of bed, before leaving for office, after a hard days work, and before hitting the sack. This is one way of letting your spouse know through your gesture that you still care for him. And yes, this is one sure shot way which helps your spouse ease the stress he had been through the whole day.

2. Call just or text because you are thinking of him.

3. Pick up his favorite treat or snack, a specialty coffee or dessert as a sweet surprise.

4. Give your partner a massage. Foot massages and back rubs can do wonders for relaxing people and alleviating stress. Many males seem to enjoy having their backs gently scratched or rubbed softly as a means of helping them to relax.

5. Do something you may not want to, simply because it is important to him or her. This can be anything from attending a show or an event to doing a chore, giving up a bad habit or just trying something new. Find out what is important to him or her if you don't already know, and make it happen.

6. Spend extra time getting ready-dress up or wear something that you know your sweetheart loves to see on you.

7. Snuggle up and take a nap together. There is nothing quite like falling asleep and waking up in the arms of the one you love....

8. Play romantic music and dance together. Slowly dancing around the room to a favorite song can mean so much more when it is completely unexpected.

9. A warm candlelit dinner will do the trick to revive the spirit in both of you. It will help you reignite the loving feelings that both of you had for each other. When I say a candle lit dinner, it doesn’t mean that you go out to one of the most expensive restaurant in the city, you get keep it simple and inexpensive. You can create the whole atmosphere at home, cook one of your spouse’s favorite dishes and give him a surprise.

10. Do not shy away from showing your genuine affection and passion. Talk and share with your spouse about anything and everything. He is the same person whom you married some years ago and had no problems showing your affections and passions. And this is time when you should show even more passions for your spouse.

11. No matter how hectic your schedule is, how tired you are, how busy you are, always be ready at your spouse’s back and call. Be available whenever your spouse needs you. And yes get accustomed with the art of saying ‘I LOVE YOU’, to your spouse each day and every time you feel like. You don’t need to wait for an occasion to express your love and concern for your spouse.

12. Always appreciate your spouse. No matter how vague his words may sound, always encourage him and make him feel important. Sex is not the only way to show and express your love. You can express it through your actions and gestures towards your spouse.

13. Leave notes of love and affection in his drawer, on the bed, around the house etc. is a way to show your affection for him.


Edited by: LIKINMENOW at: 1/7/2014 (12:24)
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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/7/14 11:39 A

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Well, the article I post focused on the female...because affection was difficult for the husbands to show and express. So, that is why there is no mention for the man.

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LAKENDAL's Photo LAKENDAL Posts: 7,945
1/6/14 10:40 A

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I agree it's a good list but I would add a list for the husband too. What about his needs being met?

Laura. Mio, Michigan

Lord help me remember that nothing is going to happen today that you and I can't handle together.

If ignorance is bliss why aren't more people happy


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,368
1/5/14 6:17 P

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Very interesting. It is a wonderful idea to make the list together, so that the one feeling like they are missing affection can add what is important to them.

cj

What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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LIKINMENOW's Photo LIKINMENOW Posts: 51,476
1/4/14 10:17 A

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Affection is something that's learned. Some men (and women) who were raised in families that did not show affection are taught how to show affection by their girlfriends or wives. But other men have never been taught.

You apparently received the affection you needed from your lover. It was your friend's affection that met your need. Your husband can learn to say and do many of the same things, and mean it.

Whenever I counsel a man who is not very affectionate, I give him a list of things to do every day. (I usually make up the list with his wife who tells me what to include.) He must do each of them and check them off the list as he does it. Here is a general example.


1. Hug and kiss your wife and tell her you love her every morning while you're still in bed. Rub her back for a few minutes before you get up.

2. Tell her that you love her while you are having breakfast together.

3. Kiss her and tell her you love her before you leave for work.

4. Call her during the day to ask how she is doing and that you love her.

5. After work, call her before you leave to tell her when you will be home, and tell her you love her.

6. Buy her flowers on the way home at least once a week, with a card that tells her you love her.

7. When you arrive home from work, give her a big hug and kiss and spend a few minutes talking to her about how her day went. Don't do anything else before you have given her your undivided attention.

8. Tell her that you love her as you are having dinner together.

9. Help her clear off the table and wash and dry the dishes with her, giving her a hug and kiss at least once, and tell her that you love her.

10. Hug and kiss her and tell her you love her in bed before you both go to sleep.

As the weeks go by, I have the wives review the list to be certain there isn't anything in it that they object to, or that should be added.
Wives will often complain that it's not real affection because it doesn't come from the heart. If their husbands have to be told what to do, they're not really being affectionate. But this exercise in affection is not fake. It is real. Their husbands really do love them and whenever they express that love, it is real. The problem is that they have not learned to express how they really feel. This exercise simply teaches them how to show their wives the care that they've felt all along.

When your husband says that you do not accept the things he does for you, you should explain that you don't need the things he does nearly as much as you need things he isn't doing. You cannot appreciate things you don't need, it's only what you need that you appreciate.

He really does want to meet your needs, but hasn't learned how to do it. It probably makes him frustrated to think how much he cares about you, but has not been able to show it.


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