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WIFEY2DREW's Photo WIFEY2DREW SparkPoints: (0)
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8/4/08 1:45 A

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yes at time being n army wife ucks cause of the fact that when he's gone u dont get to see that person who stole ur heart who is ur everything. he misses out on so much like birthdays christmas aniversaries. i know mines missed my bday for so long it's not funny cause he's either been in iraq or were we not together at the time. but i would not trade one day of my life with him for all the moeny in the world.

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LORILORENZO12's Photo LORILORENZO12 Posts: 65
7/28/08 2:36 P

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Being a military wife is so hard. It's completely understandable that you would feel down from time to time. My husband has in been just shy of 10 years and he has deployed 5 times into war zones. I can't even count all the times he has been gone for a month or two or three for this training or that. He has missed every easter save one or two, two Christmases, at least 3 birthdays for the kids and all but one or two of my birthdays. I can understand the missing him like crazy and all the extra stresses we have to deal with like being lonely and stressed out from having so much "extra" responsibility. But, you know I have noticed something... alot of my non-military friends aren't any "happier" than my military friends. Alot of those wives feel lonely and like they do all the work too. Maybe this won't apply to you, but I took the time while he was gone to figure out some things that I wanted to do. I got married pretty young and there were lots of things (like random road trips with my girlfriends) that I could do while he was away that I may not have been able to do while he was here. I even took the kids on trips before they were in school and they loved it (we have been to zoos in 6 different states)! I went to law school, I picked up a hobby (scrapbooking), I got active in my church. Maybe none of these things will appeal to you, but I guess what I am saying is that I think sometimes people can get so tied up in their spouse that they forget to spend time on themselves and being apart kinda forces you to do that. Trust me, I know the separations are hard, but there is a way through it. You'll have good days and you'll have bad days, but in the end, you can have a happy life and a great marriage. Good luck!

Edited by: LORILORENZO12 at: 7/28/2008 (14:35)
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DAISIEDUPP Posts: 19
7/25/08 1:02 P

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I hear you :) And sometimes you just need to vent. We can't really say this to them, and they see it from a completely different viewpoint because it is their job and we just have to live with it, so venting to them isn't always as satisfying.

My husband is Canadian regular force infantry soldier. I mostly do well with his career and him being away. I was able to do pretty well the entire pregnancy without him and the birth without him, but after finding out last night that he will be missing our daughter's 1st and 2nd birthday...who knows about the 3rd, I'm very discouraged. So I hear you! This life is so rewarding but soooo difficult.

I don't think there are any army wives, not any that I have ever met or talked to anyways, that do well with this lifestyle 100% of the time, so don't ever feel like you aren't dealing with this as well as others in comparison because we all struggle with it from time to time...some just do it more silently than others. We all have our own realities, so try not to compare yours to one you have not experienced. If your reality is difficult for you, then you are completely justified in feeling that way, despite that it may seem others have more difficult realities than yours. The "it could be worse" mentality, I believe, impedes people from developing the proper coping mechanisms for their own situations.

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JENNIFERJACKSON's Photo JENNIFERJACKSON SparkPoints: (0)
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7/22/08 12:23 P

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dont feel bad, i get frustrated, too. my husband was active til 06, went guard and deployed. He's been back since october and has been trying to go back active since then. His company doesn't want to let him go even though he's a tanker and they are engineers. They've even told him there is nowhere for him there. We have had no insurance since his TA ran out in april. i have a son with asthma and a 2 year old and we need insurance. I just wish they would quit dragging their feet.

Never look back, unless you plan on going that way.

It's a new day.


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WDCHASE Posts: 60
7/22/08 11:23 A

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Not meaning to bring people down, really. Just need a little venting here. My husband is full time army national guard. Which really sucks in a lot of ways, but can be amazingly wonderful in others. I hate that he doesn't get treated like "regular army" he doesn't get paid for drill, but still has to go. I know its just how it is. I hate that he's gone all summer (traveling with his job). I know I'm lucky he isn't deployed into danger. But the thing is, I miss him, ha. I know so many people have it so much worse, and I HATE that for them, I can't imagine how wives with kids, jobs, and are on their 3 or 4th deployment are doing it. I can't even do three months! ha, I can, I just don't want to. Sorry about the negativity. Its just, I can't complain to him, I don't want to bring his spirits down. I know we have more money than we would if he was civilian, we have amazing insurance, but it makes life just so hard.

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