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STRNGNGRNDED's Photo STRNGNGRNDED Posts: 6,461
7/16/17 7:10 P

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hooray. happy home~

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7/16/17 6:07 P
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We got all the boxes out of her room, moved things around and put her toyboxes up so she can't make a mess and she was amazed at how much better the room looks without all the clutter on the floor. She's promised to keep her room cleaner in the new house. Plus we are putting up the new rules in the new house right away, no clutter, no making and leaving messes, clean up after yourself and room inspections.



~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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STRNGNGRNDED's Photo STRNGNGRNDED Posts: 6,461
7/12/17 5:22 P

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Great job! Hopefully she'll realize how freeing it is to have a clean space and how much easier it is to take care of a space that is organized.
I've noticed teens sometimes revert to toddler stage; they forget how to listen, forget how to brush their teeth, forget that parent's know best. LOL

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7/12/17 4:28 P
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Thank you guys. I don't feel so alone. I got her room clean and packed (well, mostly packed). I think we are going to create and print a daily bedroom checklist and put it by the door (she is like me and likes lists). Then I'll remind her, give her time to clean up her room during the day (15 min a day is good) and have nightly inspections, giving enough time for fixing things I find out or that should be put away. Then as I think we are doing good decrease the inspections to every other night, etc.

We are going to add personal hygiene to our home ec class and really repeat and go over a lot of stuff that I thought they knew, from the basics up.


~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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STRNGNGRNDED's Photo STRNGNGRNDED Posts: 6,461
7/11/17 4:26 P

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I always try and make the discipline part of the consequence, so if chores aren't being done, what is the cause? That cause gets taken away.
Currently my youngest son is restricted from his computer, (except for Chinese lessons and skyping with his brother), because he was leaving his dishes overnight in the sink. I don't like making breakfast with dirty dishes in the sink.

Hope things improve and that the portfolios go smoothly.

Edited by: STRNGNGRNDED at: 7/11/2017 (16:26)
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7/11/17 1:41 P

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My current issue is that my 15 year old daughter knows MORE than I do about how to make people do their chores. Driving me BATTY. Who is the boss here, Little Lady?
But her arguments can't stand, so she walks away in disgust and just 'does them herself'. (last night I heard her say, "It's no use talking about it..." As if I can't be reasoned with. But her viewpoint is often flawed, so I can't believe everything she says, since she might not know the full story....and on and on it goes.

But we got the kitchen done last night. The breakfast chores are done today, though I had to remind the kid.

I am waist deep in home schooling portfolios this week, but we will tackle that bedroom asap.

And we all lived happily ever after...


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STRNGNGRNDED's Photo STRNGNGRNDED Posts: 6,461
7/11/17 12:23 P

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LOL Hang in there ladies, the well layed foundation will reap great rewards. My older son called me from bootcamp and thanked me for all the chores I had him do, etc. (He's now in his senior year of aerospace university with a current 4.0) And he was my most challenging child.

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7/11/17 12:00 A

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read this just as I finished having a blow-out with 4 kids about kitchen chores. I won't be much help. lol

And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
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Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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KOHLRABIGIRL's Photo KOHLRABIGIRL Posts: 9,060
7/10/17 10:44 P

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Sounds like there needs to be a consequence for food leaving the kitchen and finding its way to the bedroom. Have any ideas on what that would be? It's not been an issue here. I guess I'm strict about the food thing but I don't want to be attracting insects or mice. We eat in the kitchen and in the living room on occasion while watching movies. The food has to stay on the small table in the living room where we eat. We often take a break from the movie to carry the dishes to the kitchen and rinse them. We have snacks while playing games but we do that in the kitchen, too.

I don't exactly know what the filth problem is but perhaps she still needs your help with whatever is causing it. When it comes to a cleaning or hygiene issue I try to walk them through how to do it at least once before I expect them to do it by themselves. Perhaps she just needs a better understanding of what to do and what is expected.

My girls (10 and 13) share a room and have bunk beds. They strip their beds once a week for laundry purposes and I help them each put their sheets back on since the beds aren't the easiest to make. I never really thought about it before now, but I am realizing that this is the time when I set things straight that might become bigger issues with time. Like sharing with my teen to sleep on a towel so she doesn't have to change the sheets every time she has a personal problem and how she can care for the affected clothing in a timely manner. Perhaps you could help her with some chore in her room that she would appreciate the help with, and then gently help her to see the other issues that need to be taken care of. I'm all about building relationships and want to see them succeed. For me it's usually trying to figure out how to get them to do what they are capable of but helping them get to that point if they are not quite there yet.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

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STRNGNGRNDED's Photo STRNGNGRNDED Posts: 6,461
7/10/17 7:03 P

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She is absolutely old enough to clean her room by herself. If it was so unsanitary that you feel you can't even share it, it's time to go drill sargeant on her. This is the family home and she's obviously not respecting that.
If she decides she will not clean up after herself, then perhaps some of her bedroom items need to be removed.
I feel your stress. I can abide some clutter, but not filth. Filth is just not acceptable. I hope you're able to get this worked out.

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7/10/17 9:06 A
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I'm a little distressed. All this time my Oldest DD (ODD) has been telling me her room is looking better, we cleaned it 3 weeks ago, she made a little mess, I've been having her clean on it 15 minutes a day to get it back in shape... I don't know what she was doing during those 15 minutes, but it wasn't cleaning. I should have been checking on it, but I figured she's old enough to clean her own room right? I won't even describe the horribleness I walked in on when I went to pack her room yesterday. I would not step foot in it. I got a folding chair and sat in the doorway and directed her on what to do, yes, I made her do a good bit by herself. She made it, she can clean it. I finally got a small portion where I could start packing and vacuumed the entrance. She didn't even have a path to her bed. I was so shocked. I'm trying to think of ways now to make sure this doesn't happen again in the future, especially not in the new house. The only thing I can think of is getting all Sergeant on her and doing daily inspections. I already have a morning routine and daily cleaning checklists (we just started the checklists last week.). I know that this is about the age where rooms start getting messy, I know the psychology behind it. I understand. This was way beyond that. This was disgusting.

I guess I'm asking for help? I don't know how to explain to her in a nice way how very wrong and not healthy this is. I found food (food is not allowed in their rooms) and some stuff I won't go into detail about because it is gross. I want to go through her room with a can of lysol. And once I can see the floor, I will. Yuck. I feel like a bad Mom for not knowing her room was so bad. I should have checked on it sooner, but she kept telling me it was looking better. She turns 11 this month and is usually spot on with cleaning, she loves to organize and watch videos about organizing.... But in her room she makes a mess and acts like she doesn't know how to clean it up. I won't go into any more, but are there resources for this or do you have any advice? I'm floundering here.

~ Karri
But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. ~Psalms 59-16


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