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SEISMOGEEK Posts: 302
2/19/08 4:36 P

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I've had a number of co-leaders - some active, some not. What I found is that if I want the girls to do an activity, I make sure there is a responsible party (may be myself) in charge of that activity that is motivated for her daughter to participate.

right now, I have a good sitch, as my junior co-leader & I work well together & equally share the burden of planning :) My cadette co-leader & I also work very well together, but thankfully this is cadettes, self-propelling (most of the time), so when my co-leader is busy working on her daughter's bat mitzvah, I don't feel too slammed.

My suggestion is to involve more parents - not a lot & feel them out beforehand, but get them involved. For me, success lies in how entrenched the moms are w/the troop as well as the girls - if I can get a mom interested & motivated, I've got the girl doing stuff, planning stuff & happy. Of course then I also get to distribute the work load, too, also great :)

good luck.

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HEPSCAT Posts: 56
2/17/08 10:24 P

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I don't know if this would help, but I had something similar (but not nearly as severe). I had a mom sign up from day one as co-leader, and seemed very enthusiastic about it. But when it came to the basics of showing up for the meeting, planning ahead of time, and getting training, it was clear right away that she was one of those people who talks a big talk but doesn't follow through. Meanwhile, I had one mom who was always early turning in permission slips and was very helpful, so I asked her if she'd be interested in completing the training in case she ever wanted to start a troop for her younger daughter. Right away she signed up for training.

So what I did was go to the first woman and I played up how busy she is and how hard it is to fit in everything, and that we could still use her as a parent volunteer, but maybe she wanted to step down as co-leader. She was relieved, not offended, so thank goodness that was no problem to change. It turns out that she was going through marital problems and had just taken on too much at the same time. I can see why she had a problem approaching me about it (she's now going through a messy divorce, two years later).

So I'm just throwing that out there, I don't know if that helps.

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CARROLLKR's Photo CARROLLKR SparkPoints: (87,762)
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2/16/08 5:48 P

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Being a leader is a lot of work and responsibility. Maybe she will figure that out and won't volunteer for next year. Especially if she still has to do trainings. Maybe she'll forget to register.

You need to make sure you are on top of the troop information to keep the troop together. Sounds like you are the leader and she is a registered parent. Which might not be so bad. Consider asking the other parent if she wants to be a co leader as well. That could take some of the responsibility off of you. You can discuss it with the other leader, but that parent has just as much right to be a leader as Kelly does. (Passing background check of course.

Just keep smiling and having fun with the girls. That's the important part. Keep in contact with the council. You'll come out on top.

If you got a traffic ticket would you break every traffic law the rest of the day? Then why toss the whole day over a slice of pizza? ~Indygirl

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MES2730 Posts: 610
2/16/08 4:08 P

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Tammy,

Thanks for your input. I have had all of my training and the age level training. Kelly has not. I have already called council and had my registration changed to a 1 and Kelly to a 2. I did not tell anyone that I did it. If someone asks I'll tell them but I'm not volunteering the information. I'm hoping that she doesn't get her training in. I know it sounds bad but that's the one hope that I have. **sigh**

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VELMOOSE's Photo VELMOOSE Posts: 696
2/16/08 12:32 P

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Well, you certainly are in a sticky situation!
First, I was wondering about Daisy Girls selling cookies. Is this a pilot project for your council in preparation for the level changes next year?

The first thing I would do is to contact your Field Director (or Membership Marketing Director or whatever your council calls it!) and ask that everything troop related be mailed to you. Did you register as an 01 or an 02. If you're an 02, you might want to change it in case troop mailings in your Council only go to the 01 position code. Next, invite your SUM to come observe a meeting so she can see for herself what you are up against. If she can't or won't, then invite someone like your MMD. Someone higher up than you needs to step up and make some decisions. It sounds like "Kelly" might be putting her own needs ahead of the girls in the troop and that just isn't right. Where's the girl planning? As a Council Trainer and SUM, I tell new leaders to remember that "just because you are a volunteer, doesn't mean you can't be fired". As far as the behavior of the daughter, she should be handled just as you would any other girl in the troop. It may be that she is not clear about what the expectations are for behavior in the meeting. Discussing the promise and law and how they relate to behavior is a good teaching moment.
Have you been to your Leader trainings and (more importantly) has Kelly been to training? Training can make a world of difference and makes running a troop so much easier.
Good luck!
Tammy

Tammy (Vermont)

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MES2730 Posts: 610
2/15/08 11:39 P

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Oh goodnes I didn't realize how long that was.....sorry ladies.

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MES2730 Posts: 610
2/15/08 11:38 P

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**sigh**

I have a situation that I need some help with. I missed going to the first recruitment meeting for the scouts this year because I thought it was a week later than it actually was. I called our recruitment person and she told me that they were having a 2nd meeting the following week. My daughter and I went and they were having a sock hop. I signed her up and I also signed up to help with her troop. A lady called me and asked if I would want to be the leader of her troop. I told her that I would. She told me that they had someone that said she would be the but they would rather have me do it because of some personal baggage that she has. The same night as our orientation, first training and leader meeting I checked my e-mail before I left and there as a message that said that the other girl (kelly) wanted to be the leader because she "had alot of good ideas for the troop".

I decided to go to the meeting anyway and see what happened. I met her there and she told me "neither of us will be the leader and the other the co-leader, we can do it together". I had a bad feeling from the very beginning. It has only gotten worse. I have been the one planning the meetings and conducting them. The only ideas that she has come up with is reading the girls a book. When she calls our parents about GS issues she ends up talking to the about all of her problems. I think by now they all know her whole life story. I had a couple of them talk to me about it. They have a heard time getting her off of the phone when she calls. I told her about it but it hasn't done any good.

I have one mom (Misty)that I have gotten close to and she has helped me alot. She has kept me sane.

Kelly doesn't drive so she has to rely on someone picking her up and taking her home from the meetings and outings. I have done it a couple of times but I have a very hard time doing it now. She has been getting all of the information from our Council for our troop. One example is that she got the letter from Council about the Daisy Cookie Program that we were supposed to go to so that our girls could sell cookies. I didn't get a copy of the letter so I didn't know about it. She didn't mention it to me until the day before the training. She hadn't called any of our parents either so no one went to the training and we didn't get to sell cookies this year. Some of our parents were sooooooo mad. I did everything that I could to find a place for us to do the program but could find anything. We had a meeting with our parents (only 2 parents came) and I explained to them that since we weren't selling cookies we wouldn't have the money from that for our troop and we would have to rely on them more to cover the cost of our activities and such. They had no problem with that since they didn't really have no choice.

I have decided that I'm going to do what is the best for the girls. Am I wrong thinking that they need to have other activities at the meetings besides listening to someone read them a story? I don't mind it every now and them but not every meeting....for every petal or discussion that we have. What fun is that?

The other issue that I have with her is actually with her daughter also. Her daughter is very disruptive during the meetings....running around the room, belching out loud, not listening to instructions, etc. I have tried to ask her nicely to stop running around and listen to the instructions but it doesn't do me any good. That's when Kelly steps in and will either yell at her or tell her that they will leave if she doesn't listen. I jsut don't know what to do anymore. I don't like my daughter being around a situation like that as I'm sure the other parents don't either.

I have talked to our Service Unit Leader about it (she has known about Kelly's personal issues from the beginning) and I believe that they are trying to give her a chance because she was the only one to step up and volunteer to be the leader of the troop. Kelly did tell me at the beginning that the only reason she wanted to be a leader was to have some adult interaction.

I'm sorry that this has gotten so long but as I said I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any suggestions I would greatly appreciate it.

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