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SHUDDEC's Photo SHUDDEC SparkPoints: (11,595)
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7/1/15 12:48 A

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My mom has made some vegetarian dishes, if you like veggies that have absolutely no crunch left in them and cooked in butter, oil and/or cheese, it's ok. She also loves salt, salts while cooking and at the table.

I applaud her efforts and desire to try new recipes, and yes I've given her some to try at her request. It's a waste of time, effort, food and money.
Mostly she has meals where the focus is on pork, pork and pork (she loves pork), beef and fish. Occasionally chicken.
She's relying more and more on prepared foods and sometimes combining prepared foods into one dish.
In the past what I've done is make meals I can eat and take them to her house to eat together and my daughter chooses what she wants from what's on the table. There's always enough of what I make for all of us.
That way we have the family meal time and conversation and I can feel good about what I'm choosing to eat.
It works out better for everyone if I don't expect her to cook like I like to eat.

Edited by: SHUDDEC at: 7/1/2015 (00:48)
 current weight: 230.0 
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DS9KIE's Photo DS9KIE SparkPoints: (550,336)
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6/30/15 11:32 P

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wow that's tough ...when your mom cooks does she make it vegetarian?

Well the best thing to do is make soup stir fry, ect and freeze it for future meals.

well this is a shot in the dark but maybe you can give your mom some recipes to cook.

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SWEDE_SU's Photo SWEDE_SU Posts: 6,919
6/30/15 7:25 P

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i'm lucky in that my DH is supportive of our ETL/plant-based diet, so i haven't really been in your situation, but i just wanted to recommend the Beck Diet Solution, which has answers to so many situations that we face, including the one that you describe. it really made a difference for me - it works for any "diet", including ETL, focusing on giving tools for dealing with every situation.

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one day at a time...

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SHUDDEC's Photo SHUDDEC SparkPoints: (11,595)
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6/30/15 6:35 P

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I'm recommitting to the ETL life with a 6 week challenge for myself, starting tomorrow July1st.

Hoping to be in the forums more often to build community and find support. I let life get in my way from keeping true to my choice to be healthy.
If the only person I needed to worry about preparing meals for was myself, it would be different. I share meals with my mother (she'll be 87 in a few weeks and still cooks) and my daughter (just turned 23 yrs, vegetarian). My mom is a meat and potatoes lady, boil or steam all veggies to mush, cook in oil and butter, etc.
When I started the ETL path in December 2014 and prepared the ETL recipes as written for myself, making changes to the dish for each of them, it's a lot of work. Basically making two or three meals each time.
And my mom still cooks 2-3 dinners a week, even if it's my planned night to cook. Add the whole emotional aspect of not wanting to hurt her feelings and waste her $$'s, I've ended up eating the food she fixes. Then the anger and resentment starts, which I keep to myself.

It was a week away with a friend and having the choice for eating that opened my eyes to the emotional issues.
Now I'm ready to be stronger and stay on track, yet be kind and gentle in choosing to eat healthy - which isn't a rejection of my mother and her ability, but rather a choice to be healthy.

Have others been in a similar situation?

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