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SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 123
4/6/18 10:26 P

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I didn't get this far in the book when I read it last year and I am finding this problem solving, stress reducing section has been very helpful. I mentioned a couple of problems that were causing me stress (my Day 34 post) and I'm happy to say I am dealing with them. One was work, and I have decided to completely, absolutely, positively retire on April 25th, and just enjoy my retirement with my retired husband, and I have decided that work will get along fine without me. The other was daughter-in-law issues, and I wrote to my son and asked if there wasn't someway we could mend the situation, put all this behind us and start fresh., and they could get back to enjoying the summer at the family cottage. (We built a cottage for them on our cottage property and my son was very proud of it (he worked on it too), but now his wife doesn't want anything to do with us or the cottage.) Surprisingly, I got a positive response from him and he wants to start fresh and he thinks his wife does too and they both want to come to the cottage. He's going to talk about this with us soon. So I have finally done something about 2 situations that were causing me daily stress, and I feel so much better. I figured if I was going to tackle a problem, I should tackle the ones that are recurring.

Day 37, the points that hit me most were rules for myself and rules for other people. I also found it helpful to think of someone who has more relaxed ideas. I think I can look at my expectations for myself with a little more flexibility than I've had, and I really can't control others, so what is the point in having rules for them.

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SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 123
4/6/18 10:09 P

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Kriszta, I just wanted to thank you for leading this Beck pink book reading. I really, really appreciate the time and effort and thoughtfulness you put into it. You have no idea how much this has helped me make important changes in my life and in my mindset and habits. I'll miss you for the next 7 days, but enjoy your retreat.

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4/6/18 9:46 P

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STRESS ... what's that???

As a retiree ... stress has greatly reduced in my life. During this past summer, life was very, very stressful with hubby's manic episode. I handled everything very well ... until it was over.

Then I fell apart and the eating frenzy began.

Food didn't fix a dang thing.

Hmmm.
emoticon

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 4,618
4/6/18 9:04 A

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The third way to reduce stress by changing your mindset spoke to me as there are too many "should" sentences in my life right now and just recognizing them is helpful... emoticon This is something I am going to work on to reduce stress.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting



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SUZYB53's Photo SUZYB53 Posts: 507
4/6/18 8:28 A

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When I read my advantage cards this am, I remembered that one of the advantages of stable eating is that I will learn to keep things in perspective. This fits well with Dr. Beck’s strategies for reducing stress.

My immediate health goal is get back on track after a holiday binge. This is harder than I thought it would be. I am finding the old patterns are not easy to address, even after many months of pretty healthy patterns.

Edited by: SUZYB53 at: 4/6/2018 (08:34)
This turtle is to remind myself that slow but steady wins the race.


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DIROB57's Photo DIROB57 SparkPoints: (99,887)
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4/6/18 8:19 A

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I posted on Day 34 about some ways I use to reduce stress (take a walk, write down issues, possible solutions & any actions I can take to help) so today is sort of a recap of Day 34's Solving Problems.

However, it is a little different spin to ask myself if I need to relax the rules I've made for myself. I do NOT expect myself to be perfect in my eating....I will eat another cookie sometime or go out to eat, etc. I've learned that. But, I feel like some rules give me the structure I need to maintain my weight loss...I could perhaps relax on weighing daily, but I don't feel like I should relax on tracking everything that goes into my mouth because I've already looked at my track record enough to know that food tracking is KEY to my success.

A few years ago when I lost weight, I didn't keep it off and I think a lot of that was because I put all my effort into watching the scale go down. When it finally stopped when I reached my goal, I didn't know how to find joy in the maintenance journey and I ended up quitting and gaining the weight back.

This time, I've let go of the 'rule' that I'm only doing well if the scale is showing a weight loss. Staying the same weight has it's own kind of reward and I'm learning to enjoy the maintenance journey and to find support for that journey in places like this sparkteam!

emoticon

Highest lifetime weight (non-pregnant): 03/12/2015 - 165.5 lbs

2017 Goal Weight: 137 lbs (Began tracking maintenance 11/10/2017)
2018 Goal Weight: 133 lbs







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4/6/18 2:34 A

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I like this chapter a lot, because it applies all the skills we learned for eating to other areas of life.

1. Solve the Problem
-Priority Chart from Day 8 (Create Time and Energy) - I love the division of tasks into categories of Essential / Highly Desirable /Desirable, and the suggestion to decrease, delegate and eliiminate things that are not essential... or other, less busy people can do it
-Seven Question Technique (Day 25) can help to look at things in a new, more creative way, and clear self-defeating thoughts

2. Relax - in non-food but pleasant and nurturing ways

3. Change Mindset: relax unreasonable rules, lower expectations towards ourselves and others
my favorite is "I should always prevent problems from happening" rephrased as "I should try to take reasonable precautions"
and
"Other people should always read my mind" changed to "It is realistic to expect that people won't know what I want or need unless I tell them"

Good to remember this later when I'm in difficult situations!

In the past I used to have very very strict rules and high expectations towards myself and others, leading to lots of frustration and unhappiness. This chapter and my mindfulness practice helped me to relax my rules, and be more love and kindness towards myself and others.

emoticon

Dear Team, I'm leaving for a 7-day meditation retreat now, where I will have no access to phone or internet. I'm happy about that, but unfortunately I won't be able to post daily for the last 5 days of the program, and the two last chapters about maintenance.
Please feel free to continue posting on the Days Message Boards!
I know that the collective presence and support means a lot for many Sparkers.
I'll catch up on 16th April when I'm back.

emoticon


Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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4/4/18 2:29 P

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My work life was extremely stressful. I did my best to separate work life stress from my home life, however, the stress may have been responsible for health issues including gaining weight. Now that I've retired, stress comes from different circumstances, but the process for dealing with it works for both types of stressors. The first thing I must remember is to understand that stress happens.
As I mentioned in other posts, I use exercise, mindset techniques, meditation and yoga to deal with stress. Additionally, I can always talk about what’s happening with my DW! She keeps me grounded.




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3/29/18 2:54 A

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Loved your post!
emoticon

Great examples of reducing and delegating activities,
and of letting go of unhelpful rules.
emoticon

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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06SARAHLIZ's Photo 06SARAHLIZ SparkPoints: (10,178)
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3/28/18 4:02 P

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I found it really helpful to visit My Priorities Chart because now with my new routines, my priorities are changing yet again.

I decided to focus on my dieting activities and overall wellness - I hired someone to do the heavy cleaning 2x a month and I am doing less giant meal preps because I find that life is easier when I spend a few dollars at the salad bar every day for lunch (we have a subsidized cafeteria at work). I tend to eat easy things for dinner like eggs or dips or salads so I'm not chopping and prepping and packaging all weekend.

I had to let go of my self-imposed rules about how since I enjoy cooking I need to do it all of the time and how everything needs to be interesting and from scratch.

I also had to give up some rules I had for other people (like my fiance) because they didn't make sense - I have to cook something both of us like and we have to eat together - but we have drastically different schedules so one of us was always hungry/not hungry. Now we spend some time talking and hanging out each night and it doesn't involve food, but it is still meaningful.



SarahLiz



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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 12,620
1/19/18 12:53 A

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I find getting enough sleep is important to doing the things I need to do to deal with stress, organize myself , prioritize, leave a margin to relax and to be able to do everything I have planned. Physical exercise, especially hiking in the forest, are stress relievers for me.

The Workbook has more headings than the Book
Book
Solve the Problem
Relax
Change your MIndset
+ Workbook
Get a Good Night's Sleep
--and it has subdivided
Change Your Mindset
----Set New Priorities
-----Loosen Rigid Self-Imposed Rules


My main improvement focus for 2018 is to get enough sleep
My main improvement focus for this Beck Trek is to solve problems using cognitive therapy techniques and to make pre-planning my menus more routine.

Both are important to reducing stress and living more healthfully and efficiently.

I am fortunate and thankful to have a lot of freedom with how I can plan my day as I am self-employed and work with my family (so getting time off I need is easy ) and I don't have pressing daily responsibilities like young children. Which means the initiatives I take are what I want and along with that, I can be lazy if I want and I put a bit of pressure on myself to make good decisions and not be lazy.

Edited by: JUNEPA at: 1/19/2018 (00:57)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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11/17/17 3:40 A

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emoticon

I hope things settle down at work soon,
it is great you planned how to reduce stress - I imagine it feels better.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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BMASSIE3 SparkPoints: (21,005)
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11/16/17 9:51 P

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I know I can't control the crazy at work, we say "We're just riding the wave."


For today
-Read ARC twice
-Ate sitting and mindfully some of the time, and gave myself credit.
-Monitored fullness after each meal and if I could take a walk.
-Didn’t do Sun Salutations this morning, raked leaves instead for 35 minutes and gave myself credit.
-Stayed on plan, Gave myself credit.
-Have planned my meals and snacks for tomorrow in Spark Nutritional Tracker and gave
myself credit.
-Read my “It’s Not Okay,” “Get Back on Track” and “Believe IT” response cards and gave myself credit
-I planned how to reduce stress


KBEHNKE81's Photo KBEHNKE81 Posts: 12,862
11/7/17 9:43 P

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I've realized there is nothing I can do to control the out-of-control crazy train at work, so I'm working on changing my expectations and my attitude. I'm having a hard time letting go of the expectation that people should treat one another respectfully, but am getting used to the idea that I can only do as much as I can do. If something is unfinished at the end of the day - oh, well; it'll have to wait until another day.

On the bright side, my somewhat untidy house doesn't bother me as much as it did last year.

**Kathleen
___________
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.


AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 8,813
11/7/17 12:21 P

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Day 37: Reduced Stress by having realistic expectations of self and others. I made things more complex by turning to food. Short-term achievable goals creates harmony & peace!

Edited by: AURA18 at: 4/6/2018 (15:18)
Maribeth-MN(CT)*Dragons5/16 100planks www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDNOZCoBFqg GOYBAD www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgw4EgeR960


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GOING-STRONG's Photo GOING-STRONG Posts: 7,020
11/7/17 10:09 A

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Day 37 - Reduce Stress

My greatest stressor by far was my previous job. I held an executive job in a financial institution and dealt with employee, client and other issues on a daily basis. It was impossible to make everyone happy and often I was seen as having "ice water in my veins". Not a real popular position to be in. After leaving the bank, my stress went down considerably and I had a new type of stress as my income dropped. Everything has worked out for the best and I have now downsized my lifestyle and am able to focus on myself and my family. It is a great position to be in. Now at this point in life, my stress comes mostly from my DH. He is pretty disorganized (always has been) and I find myself always picking up his trail. I am a neatnik. I work at being more tolerant and try and get into a more of a "no biggie" attitude. It really isn't a big deal and I shouldn't stress about it; but I abhor clutter. I occasionally suffer from anxiety however for the most part it is short lived. Keeping my nutrition and food choices on point is a big help and having a regular exercise program also helps to keep stress levels down.


Rhonda
Seaside, Oregon

Remember...
Eat healthy.. Exercise daily.. repeat! and Consistency.. that is the secret!


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11/6/17 2:40 P

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Cat, I'm glad your husband is feeling better and stress levels are going down.

I like this chapter a lot, because it applies all the skills we learned for eating to other areas of life.

1. Solve the Problem
-Priority Chart from Day 8 (Create Time and Energy) - I love the division of tasks into categories of Essential / Highly Desirable /Desirable, and the suggestion to decrease, delegate and eliiminate things that are not essential... or other, less busy people can do it
-Seven Question Technique (Day 25) can help to look at things in a new, more creative way, and clear self-defeating thoughts

2. Relax - in non-food but pleasant and nurturing ways

3. Change Mindset: relax unreasonable rules, lower expectations towards ourselves and others
my favorite is "I should always prevent problems from happening" rephrased as "I should try to take reasonable precautions"
and
"Other people should always read my mind" changed to "It is realistic to expect that people won't know what I want or need unless I tell them"

Good to remember this later when I'm in difficult situations!

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


344 Maintenance Weeks
 
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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (145,656)
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11/6/17 11:39 A

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STRESS ... arrrrrrgh.

Life happens ... but some stress is self created. Don't sweat the small stuff and don't carry the things you have NO control over.

This summer has been a roller coaster for hubby and I. I handled somethings well ... and somethings NOT so much. Now that the crisis is over ... and my tight grip on controlling everything has relaxed ... it has also relaxed on my eating and exercise plan.

Sooo where does this alllll leave us???

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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GOAL120A's Photo GOAL120A SparkPoints: (19,528)
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6/26/17 4:52 P

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I realize that to reduce stress for me I have to act on what I am worried about.
Example.
performances (I am a musician) I have to practice.
exercise for weight stress
having proper food in refrigerator and if I do not have it, go get it.

I need to act on what I am stressed about.

It is never too late to become who you always wanted to be.


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YESICAN61's Photo YESICAN61 Posts: 726
4/8/17 4:23 P

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I used to have a very long "had to happen" list but with time, illness and maturity I have learned that much of what I thought was vital was in fact simply desirable and the world would not end if it didn't happen. Sometimes the stressful situation is unavoidable and then I will use techniques from Dr Beck and exercise to deal with it. I know for sure that overeating will do nothing but add another layer to that stress.

Any time spent creating is time well spent!





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4/6/17 9:42 P

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Day 37 - Reduce Stress

For many years I lived off of stress. The more stressful the situation, the more determine I was to deal with the problem. Crisis management was part of my job description. BUT, it was much easier to deal with work related stress than domestic or personal stressors. Over time I have learned how to manage stressful situation. Part of it has to do with age and maturity. Being a volunteer has also change my outlook on personal stress. Working with people who face significant challenges made my problems seem trivial. Frankly compare to issues they faced, my problems were trivial. So when faced with a "stressful" event or situation I'll use the techniques that I've learned to deal with it.
By the way, I'm currently building a new house in another state and it has not been well. As a matter of fact, I fired the builder/contractor less than two weeks ago. The project is 7 months overdue and $70000 over the budget. My DW is stressed out enough for both of us.

Edited by: 1DAY-ATA-TIME at: 4/6/2017 (21:44)

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GOING-STRONG's Photo GOING-STRONG Posts: 7,020
4/6/17 8:41 P

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Day 37 - Reduce Stress

My greatest stressor by far was my previous job. I held an executive job in a financial institution and dealt with employee, client and other issues on a daily basis. It was impossible to make everyone happy and often I was seen as having "ice water in my veins". Not a real popular position to be in. After leaving the bank, my stress went down considerably and I had a new type of stress as my income dropped. Everything has worked out for the best and I have now downsized my lifestyle and am able to focus on myself and my family. It is a great position to be in. Now at this point in life, my stress comes mostly from my DH. He is pretty disorganized (always has been) and I find myself always picking up his trail. I unfortunately am a neatnik. I work at being more tolerant and try and get into a more of a no biggie attitude. It really isn't a big deal and I shouldn't stress about it. I occasionally will deal with anxiety however for the most part it is short lived. Keeping my nutrition and food choices on point is a big help and having a regular exercise program also helps to keep stress levels down.


Rhonda
Seaside, Oregon

Remember...
Eat healthy.. Exercise daily.. repeat! and Consistency.. that is the secret!


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 8,813
4/6/17 7:37 P

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Day 37: Reduce Stress!!! by having realistic expectations of self and others. I make things more stressful for myself and turning to food doesn't fix this.Small goals will create harmony, less stress and disappointments.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 11/7/2017 (12:19)
Maribeth-MN(CT)*Dragons5/16 100planks www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDNOZCoBFqg GOYBAD www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cgw4EgeR960


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4/6/17 6:26 P

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I found that most stress ... is self made. Decide what is truly yours, do what you can and let the rest go. So easy to say ... not so easy to do. BUT food will never, ever fix anything.
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Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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CHIGGERCANE's Photo CHIGGERCANE SparkPoints: (14,272)
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4/6/17 3:54 P

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Big challenge for me. I have been working on learning to live 'less stressed'. I too liked the statement that you cannot control others - something that is huge for me. Getting my routines and planned menus completed and in place is going to reduce 'everyday' stress.

Deb
Changing my life 1 step at a time.


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4/6/17 6:24 A

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This is an important lesson day for me. I get too caught up in all that has to be done for work and I let that get in the way of the basics, like meal planning and getting enough sleep.

Monica

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4/6/17 3:23 A

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Great responses from previous challenge and individual readers!

I love this chapter because again dr. Beck shows us how to use skills we learned earlier in the program. Not only Day 33 and 34 (identifying emotions leading to eating in response, and solving problems instead) and Day 27 (sever questions technique) but Day 8 (Create Time and Energy) too, with the super helpful Priority List, dividing activities into groups of Essential / Highly Desirable /Desirable.
I used to fill my days with errands, now I like to have large empty slots in my daily schedules, to just be and enjoy my life and my family. There were so many things I had thought I have to do, but I really don't.
Relaxing and changing my mindset about unrealistic expectation (about myself and others) helps a lot too. Since I lowered my expectations about my DH, DS and DD to a reasonable level, I rarely grumble and our family life is happier.
I loved dr. Beck' examples, and the ones Kathleen mentions below.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 4/6/2017 (07:59)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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IAMAUNTYEM's Photo IAMAUNTYEM Posts: 6,638
2/14/17 4:23 P

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My big stressors are fading away, but they are a big part of my weight-gain history: I believed I had to do it all. When I realised I needed help and asked for it, I was told I was a strong person and could handle this myself--not a thing to say to someone who's melting down. Trying to find professional help turned out to be equally stressful, so I did do it all myself. I had to be both mother and father to my children, and had enough sense to expose my sons to good role-model dads -- all four are successful, as is my daughter. Of course I developed panic attacks (No meds. The book : I am Dancing as Fast as I Can, was enormously helpful for this), high blood pressure (meds), and diabetes (and meds), followed by years of denial. All three are in nearly excellent control, and I am off the Diabetes meds. I worked hard at getting there, and I am working hard at staying there.
I am finding the tips in this book to be very useful -- and I think a good part of that is just timing. 15-20 years ago, I wouldn't have had the time to do this.

Edited by: IAMAUNTYEM at: 2/14/2017 (16:34)
8-)
AuntyEm
SoCal
Pacific Time Zone
______________________________
NEVER FORGET


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 12,620
11/9/16 1:45 A

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I do have to review occasionally to not let daily this-and-that get out of perspective, but I feel fortunate that I have no huge stressors such as bad health, crippling debt, difficult spouse etc.


In general I am pretty laid back. It is interesting how much housekeeping expectations play into women's stress. My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.
The Freaky Friday movie when Jamie Lee Curtis(Tess) and Lindsay Lohan(Anna) trade places has Lindsay at her mom's book selling press conference in which she (with her teenage thinking) tells the audience to stress less.
Anna (in Tess's body): Like cooking: I mean, have you never heard of takeout.
(this one is my favourite) And cleaning: let's don't and say we did.


Getting enough sleep is huge to managing my life. I stress less and do more when I am well-rested (thanks for reminding me Kriszta). Next after sleep is appropriate nutrition, timing and nutrients. And third is exercise. If I take care of those three, I am much less stressed and much more productive.

When you are happy, you are less stressed

5 basic factors for happiness ( Jungian)
“1. Good physical and mental health.
2. Good personal and intimate relationships, such as those of marriage, the family, and friendships.
3. The faculty for perceiving beauty in art and nature.
4. Reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work.
5. A philosophic or religious point of view capable of coping successfully with the vicissitudes of life.”

Solve the problem -- Relax -- Change Your Mindset


Edited by: JUNEPA at: 11/9/2016 (02:45)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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11/7/16 8:16 A

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I needed to figure out this stress thing for work. Home life is set. Something happens at work that flips me out and I'm looking for candy or something. I will spend some time on this at the office today.

She believed she could so she did.
- R.S. Grey


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11/7/16 6:13 A

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Great review of changing our mindset, Kathleen!
Actually I can't believe how I was able to forget about this chapter - but apparently I did.
I'll make a response card and read daily for a while.

I wanted to reflect on step 1 Solve the Problem, if one has too many demands and responsibilities, to divide tasks into categories of Essential, Highly Desirable and Desirable.
It helped me immensely during an inspection, just 2 months after I finished my first reading in 2015. I had 5 days of pre-inspection work with client, and then 9 days with the inspectors.
On the Essential list was: give my undivided attention to the inspection, show up well-prepared, well-rested, helpful and polite; eat well, go to bed 8 hours before I have to get up, do my yoga and run or walk every day.
And I let go of everything else - Highly Desirable or Desirable.
Result: indeed I was well rested and calm, both client and inspectors appreciated my help and kindness, and I have happy memories of those days.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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11/6/16 3:49 P

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Wow, Kathleen! Consider myself a kindred spirit here. Domestic I am not. Having a neat and tidy house is not my priority. There are other things that are far more important to me and there is only so much time in a day. People can judge my choices all they want. Like one of my sisters likes to say, "What others think of me is none of my business."

Letting go of others' expectations of me has been a huge stress reducer in my life. I consider stress the lynch pin for me. I lose the battle here and things unravel for me rather quickly.

And, realistic expectations ... yeah. Love your list of statements. Thanks for sharing them.

Edited by: JEANKNEE at: 11/6/2016 (15:50)
Jeanne
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Max Lifetime Weight, 211
SP Start Weight, 206.8
Maintaining since June 2014
Initial Goal Weight, 144
Current Goal Weight, 116

"Believe me, your body has the ability to restore itself to perfect health, once you eliminate the foods and other forces that prevent it from healing." ~ Steven R. Gundry, MD

"I'd like to dispel once and for all the myth that any single diet approach works for every individual." ~ Peter J. D'Adamo, ND


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11/6/16 1:54 P

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Once I let go of the idea that "My house should be as clean and well-kept as my mother-in-law's," my stress level went down significantly. I traded daily vacuuming for playing with my kids in the park. I traded spotless windows for soccer games on Saturdays. I traded meals made from scratch for piano lessons, cross country meets and soccer practice. I appreciate all my mother-in-law's domestic talents, but that's not the life I live.

I have also reduced my stress level since reading BDS by using the "It's realistic to expect ..." statement.

It's realistic to expect that traffic will be terrible when we travel to Chicago.
It's realistic to expect that I will have to stay past quitting time at work sometimes.
It's realistic to expect that we run out of milk once in a while and I have to have toast for breakfast.
It's realistic to expect that the cat will miss the litter box now and then.
It's realistic to expect that I'll have to wait on hold when I call the insurance company.
It's realistic to expect that my brother will call only when there's bad news.
It's realistic to expect that The Guys will enjoy arguing about who is the best QB in the NFL.

I need to accept reality, be preemptive and proactive when possible, and just ride it out when that' s impossible.

I'm getting better at this, and it's realistic to expect that not everyone else is good at this.


**Kathleen
___________
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.


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7/13/16 11:36 A

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This was a great chapter for me. I have so many rules and my husband has twice as many! I'll be working on being more aware of them and making choices instead of going into the Land Of Stress. I have known for a long time that exercise, yoga and being outside are instant destressors for me.

But the best, if life around me is really chaotic, is to clean out my purse. Then clean out the car. And then clean out the fridge. When all three are right, I feel like I can handle anything.

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updating this getting ready for the summer and summer holidays....

THE LORD ALSO WILL BE A REFUGE FOR THE OPPRESSED, A REFUGE IN TIMES OF TROUBLE.

PSALMS 9:9



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4/29/11 1:16 P

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I like this, too. We are human beings with various rhythms of life and varied circumstances. emoticon

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Interesting chapter. It reminds me I very much need to get another car key made. I only have one set of keys to my car. It would reduce my stress to get a spare. That is one easy move, not cheap but worth it, to reduce a source of stress and potentially more stress in my life.

Thinking through stressful situations and how to reduce stress makes a whole lot of sense.


My Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!

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Most of my stress comes from outside sources that I can't control. I have to learn to let go of the fact that I can't control everything in my life, as much as I would like to. This throws a monkey wrench into my plans sometimes--I can't control what I eat because I'm not the one who cooks--and I have to learn to let it be. Beating up on myself doesn't accomplish anything.

Anuschka
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I had this one figured out before I even started my research to find help to lose weight and get healthy. I used to live with a lot of stress and didn't even realize it--it was just my life. Now stress is really not necessary. I have a wonderful life, great husband, am retired and living in a beautiful community, and my life is more than I ever dreamed it could be.

My stress was self imposed. I had a lot of "rules" for myself and if I didn't live up to them, I would get stressed. I also had a lot of activities that "tied me down" and that was stressful. Back in November I started to "just say no". My activities now are nearly all "go if I want to" and I know no one will be inconvenienced if I don't show up. I also started spending time on myself.

One of the great benefits of my weight loss journey is learning things that help me in the rest of my life--like keeping stress out of my life.


Annie
Central Florida-EST


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11/20/09 1:34 P

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This is a work in progress for me.
Cindi

Cindi
Iowa
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Team leader:
Funny, I Don't FEEL 50 (or 60 - it's all good)!
The United Methodist Team.
Sonoma Diet
Social Workers, Counselors and Therapists




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1. Solve the Problem.
Fight stress by revisiting the My Priority Chart to reduce your demands or responsibilities and by using the Seven Question Technique to resolve the issues that cause stress.

2. Relax.
Slow, controlled breathing is the simplest way to release the stress that makes your body tense. Kripalu yoga break helps me destress. Breathing and Relaxation or the Guided Relaxation can be found at www.kripalu.org/article/649
Dr. Beck also mentions relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery. I also like doing some yoga, or taking a slow walk to look at the clouds or even watch a sunset.

3. Change Your Mindset.
Stop letting unreasonable rules guide your behavior. Saying "Oh well." helps. The world is not ending so I need to let it go.

Edited by: NANCY- at: 6/1/2010 (21:57)
Expect Success

*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.*Stress comes from focusing on problems,
........relief comes from focusing on solutions.

Reward yourself for behaviors, not results.
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12/6/08 11:53 A

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Read this week Dec 6, 08

Relax your self-imposed rules
"insert the word reasonable into your rules"

Relax your rules for others
"change to it's realistic to expect"

I found this advice most useful. Things really change when you move from 'should' to 'reasonable' or 'realistic'. It reduces pressure and gives us more time for fun and happiness. I also think it helps to deal with others who hav their own ideas and feelings.

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9/29/08 8:40 P

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You're right! A good way to reduce stress is not to take ourselves too seriously! Good job!

Sandy emoticon

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

STG - Have a 4 week streak!


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9/29/08 1:55 P

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Well I am reading this and I have distraction-de-stess techiques from early chapters. I use deep breathing already when stressed.

I find that the best way for me to deal with my special needs little one is be be organized (I was that way before I had him.) He is my younger sweetie. I have 2 other kids. Thinks like placing what he will wear to school the day before, packing lunch the night before, packing his book-bag for school is very helpful. That way I don't have to run like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get ready for school.

Some of the chores cannot be delegated so that is that. I could always use some down time. I see Beck even mentioned sleep. One of my streak goals was to get in bed earlier.

I love those spa music DVDs the music is very relaxing. So I will buy myself a couple. May be even take a cat nap when I am overly stressed or tired. So could some of those.

I think as adults we forget to blow bubbles, swing on the play ground swings, or even do a cartwheel. Hey I can still do them.

Edited by: PURPOSEPOWER95 at: 9/29/2008 (13:53)
THE LORD ALSO WILL BE A REFUGE FOR THE OPPRESSED, A REFUGE IN TIMES OF TROUBLE.

PSALMS 9:9



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9/23/08 9:26 P

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It must've been a while since anyone's made it this far! Good Job!

Sandy emoticon

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

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Just starting I had to dig this post up!!

THE LORD ALSO WILL BE A REFUGE FOR THE OPPRESSED, A REFUGE IN TIMES OF TROUBLE.

PSALMS 9:9



Pat from the east coast


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That is a blessing!

Welcome! I think this is your first post?! Be sure to stop by the Daily Check-in!

Sandy emoticon

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

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2/6/08 5:01 P

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Luckily, I don't have much stress in my life, other than my poor old dog who suddenly went deaf.

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1/5/08 10:13 A

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Quoting Dr. Beck:

"Once I take steps to reduce my overall stress, dieting will be easier."

When I notice myself feeling stressed, I'll examine why I'm feeling stressed, and take steps to reduce the stress.

I'm learning that dieting does not have to be stressful. Changing my mindset and practicing my new skills will help me achieve my goals. Being willing to be aware of my behavior, and being willing to practice my new skills is essential to achieving my goals, and reducing stress.

Edited by: MAZZYR at: 1/5/2008 (10:14)
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11/20/07 8:04 P

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I agree with Mom2two that stress management is an evolving awareness because the things that cause one's stress changes.

I'm aware that some stress situations are out of one's control, and I'm aware that I may be the cause of my own stress.

I never thought of dieting as stressful, but I'm learning that it could be without a plan, or preparation or a support system.



Edited by: MAZZYR at: 11/21/2007 (08:54)
Mazzy


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I can see how stress management is a vital part of success in weight loss, happiness and ultimately good health.

I think the author is referring to meditation in step 2. I try to do this daily but do not always remember to. I don't know why it is sometimes hard to do the things we know are good for us. I mean it free, it certainly can't hurt me.

I have learned to relax my definition of a clean house. I regularly take an inventory and cut back on my involvement in things.

I feel like stress management is an evolving awareness because the things that cause me stress change and as I learn how to deal with one area another one may crop up.

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10/2/07 6:52 A

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It is very hard to prioritize your time correctly and still keep up with things. Even if dishes and cleaning aren't your high priority because we're taking care of ourselves, they still need to be done eventually.

I've been VERY BUSY lately and when I was home I was tired. So I'm behind in everything! My house is a mess and I desperately need to pay bills. So this morning I slept later than I wanted to and when I got up I had a choice to make. I still had time for exercise, which I know is important, or I had time to get my checkbook in order and take care of some bills. I'll still get a walk in later this evening, so I opted for the bills. I think I'll take 10 minutes for strength training and elliptical too though. That's a decent compromise!

Sandy emoticon

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

STG - Have a 4 week streak!


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SANDYKEYS's Photo SANDYKEYS Posts: 96
10/2/07 12:34 A

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I too try to be perfect and now I'm applying it to the weight loss journey. That's a hurdle I believe I'll be better able to handle.
emoticon Goodnight.
SandyK

Thanks be to God, I am achieving my goal!

5 years ago my weight was 292. I've been off and on diets since then until I found SparksPeople.
Now I'm getting back to were "I" want to be, 165#.
I discovered the book "The Beck Diet Solution" by Dr. Beck. Her book, which uses Cognative Therapy, is helping me to adjust my mind to think like a thin person. When I can convince my mind, my body will follow.


 
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10/1/07 10:19 P

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That's kool that Sparks and Beck and coinciding! It is important to deal with stress and definitely not to stress about your diet. We aren't perfect people, so we can't be perfect! I know I have been an "all or nothing" type person in the past; but I think I'm starting to let myself not be perfect.

Sandy emoticon

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

STG - Have a 4 week streak!


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SANDYKEYS's Photo SANDYKEYS Posts: 96
10/1/07 4:33 P

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Hu,
Had a busy weekend so haven't kept up with you. But, as it happened, this morning I had an email from Sparks dealing with Stressing out because of dieting. It, like so many other elements, hit home for me. It seems my expectations are causing me to stress! They say to change my mindset and change my expectations so I'm not putting stress on myself.
This sounds like what Dr. Beck is saying so I printed the article to include in my Beck book for future reading along with Beck.
It seems that Beck is validating Spark or vice versa. Either way it's good.
SandyK
emoticon

Thanks be to God, I am achieving my goal!

5 years ago my weight was 292. I've been off and on diets since then until I found SparksPeople.
Now I'm getting back to were "I" want to be, 165#.
I discovered the book "The Beck Diet Solution" by Dr. Beck. Her book, which uses Cognative Therapy, is helping me to adjust my mind to think like a thin person. When I can convince my mind, my body will follow.


 
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FINDINGSANDY's Photo FINDINGSANDY Posts: 5,757
9/30/07 8:56 P

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Three Steps to Lower your Level of Stress

Step 1: Solve the problem.

Step 2: Relax

Step 3: Change your mindset

Feeling healthy is much better than ANY food tastes!!!

STG - Have a 4 week streak!


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