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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/30/19 7:56 P

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I have to amend my previous comment. I find that I have a new food pusher in my life. My 2.5 yr old Granddaughter was trying to feed me her chicken nuggets today. I had to say no to her and that was difficult. She was so disappointed that I didn't want to share.




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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (236,310)
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3/29/19 10:44 P

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Does anyone else ever overeat when eating with an overweight friend who orders things that you know you shouldn't eat, but you don't want to look judgmental by choosing a smaller meal? Sounds crazy, maybe, but sometimes I do that. Is that food pushing myself?

Other times I'll have dessert because everyone else is having it. I really dislike sitting there while other people eat. Ditto for second helpings.

So... I will tackle this one by remembering:
- I don't have to eat something to avoid hurting someone
- I am entitled to work toward my goal of losing weight
- to create a sense of entitlement about turning down food
- to prepare my initial response when someone offers me food
- to visualize successfully handling the situation
- to give myself credit for not giving in to food pushers

I think I also push food on others; for example, 3 of my 4 children live far away, and I don't see them very often. When I know they are coming, I prepare way too much food, trying to make their favourites from when they were children. I need to work on this.

Gail







Gail
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MISSRUTH's Photo MISSRUTH Posts: 4,969
3/29/19 4:41 P

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I don't really have food pushers around me these days-- but I did, back when I first started Sparking. I understood very quickly what the cost to me would be, for giving in-- versus the minor disappointment (if any) that they might feel if I didn't eat (whatever). And I got real good at "No, thanks" or "It looks great, but no. Thanks." I could live with maybe feeling a little guilty for saying "no" to someone's extra special fancy dessert, better than I could live with disappointing myself by going off my plan.

There are still occasionally times, though, where food is randomly pushed at me by folks who haven't heard me say "no" so many years. I remind myself that the person doing the pushing is probably doing it out of love/ generosity; they're not intentionally trying to get me to eat and gain weight. I try to respond out of love and gratitude for their kindness-- but still don't eat the food. And then-- there are vacations or holidays, where folks will push food by saying "It's vacation!!" or "It's a holiday" like somehow that should mean it's okay to eat everything. To me, vacation and holidays still call for some planning and strategizing-- it's not a free-for-all. "No thanks", "I'm good", "Looks great-- maybe I'll have some later" (and "later" never comes).

I have never said "I'm dieting". The closest is ever get/ got is "I'm trying to eat more healthy".

This past Christmas we visited one of DH's elderly aunts and she pushed food hard. But I know it was out of love. That "food is hospitality, food is love" sort of thing. The visit was in between meal times, so it was easy to say "No thanks, I already ate." and not eat while we were there. She wanted to pack up some food for us to take home-- I ended up saying okay to what was left of a coconut cake. As soon as we got home, I portioned it out into smallish slices and froze them, individually wrapped, to save for planned treats.

Sometimes, DH will sort of push food at me. I don't think it's "pushing" though so much as I think he's just offering out of politeness. "I'm gonna have some cookies. You want some?" He's not particularly interested in the details of my daily food plan, so he has no idea whether I've planned to have a couple cookies as a treat after supper or not. It's a valid question-- do I want some. Or we'll be out running errands in town, and he'll say "Let's go to Dairy Queen and get a blizzard" or something like that. He's not so much "pushing" as he wants to get ice cream and would feel better about eating a blizzard so close to dinner time, if he had a "partner in crime".

Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone


Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh


JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/29/19 11:42 A

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Luckily I don't have any real food pushers in my life. My significant other likes to have an eating buddy, so sometimes he complains that I am no fun anymore. But we always make a joke out of that now.

I would say that the biggest food pusher in my life has been me and I am cured of that problem. I know now that being healthy is much more important to me than eating unplanned food. I am sure there will be more times in my life when I will have to remind myself why staying on plan is important. But saying no to food from outside sources is just one area that I don't have a problem with.




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ICANINSIGHT's Photo ICANINSIGHT Posts: 22,771
3/29/19 11:21 A

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My main "pushers" are at church social events. They want me to eat what they have made, usually sweets. I just say, "I am diabetic, remember?" That usually does it. Dh wants me to join in on his bad eating. "Let's go get a hamburger." That is hard, especially when I don't feel like cooking. I will say, "Well, I have ________ in the fridge, let's have that." Sometimes I go get the hamburger, no fries.

Yes, I too have the ability to push myself, especially bad carbs. "Read the cards, Linda!"

Linda in Central Texas - Austin suburbia

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson

Leader of Beauty Over 50 www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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OLIA_NA's Photo OLIA_NA Posts: 96
3/29/19 11:04 A

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I'm pretty good resisting other people's food pushing, mostly because I'm not even interested in what they're offering. But like Krizsta I can be a my own food pusher.

Just the other day we were at a work event and my friend/co-worker knew I had a food plan for the evening. When we all piled out to the after party she offered to buy everyone a round and some snacks. To me she said, I know you're done for the night, so should I get you soda water? Despite her caring and support, I convinced myself in seconds that I cannot not have another drink and tapas.

We had a good chat about it the next day. I thanked her for looking out for me and we tried to figure out how to help me avoid this situation in the future. For now we decided that we're both going to be more persistent in helping me stick to the plan.

HAPPYSOUL91's Photo HAPPYSOUL91 Posts: 53,715
3/29/19 9:36 A

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After years, my family doesn't blink or say anything when I turn down food. I do not feel any pressure to eat what isn't on my food plan

Every day I am on the verge of making slight changes that would make all the difference in my life.

One day I won't be able to do this, but today is not that day

Carol
Southern CA - Pacific time


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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3/29/19 7:49 A

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Hi Team,

Today, Day 29: Resist Food Pushers
we work with a special sabotaging thought:
it is OK to eat unplanned food, because otherwise we would hurt the feelings of our host.
Let's look into this deeply!

This chapter gives us great examples, and alternative ways to look at this.
What are you thinking?
Please share here!

After years of saying (mostly) no to unplanned food, all my family members and friends know it is futile to offer me food I didn't plan, so they won't even ask, so my hard work paid off ; )
At the office it is funny when someone new tries to push food on me, my "old" colleagues often say "oh, she is not going to eat that" : ))
I can play the role of Food Pusher for myself, though, when nobody says a word to me about food, but still I feel I should eat to respect group dynamics - remembering that disappointment of others over what I eat or not eat is mild and fleeting helps. Most of the time they don't even notice what I'm doing.

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/29/2019 (07:50)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,923
1/29/19 6:18 A

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Resist Food Pushers - "I'm good" or "no, thanks" usually works. I can practice eating intuitively at home and away so staying on plan gets easier.
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"Becoming more aware of what goes into your body" u.nu/6efr
"Foods bad for your skin" u.nu/v1lp

Edited by: AURA18 at: 2/14/2019 (20:54)
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BECKIKORN's Photo BECKIKORN SparkPoints: (8,681)
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12/17/18 11:05 A

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I don't really have an issue with this. My friends and family are often dieting and trying to watch their diets, so they rarely say anything. My biggest problem is that I don't like to share that I am dieting with others. Most everyone excepts when I pass on food without much mention. Also, I really not too worried about what others think as far as passing on food. To me that's just not a big deal. I think there is an expectation of over eating at the holidays. So I try not to buy into this idea and stick to my diet plan. I do like the idea of taking something home and adding to diet plan later- I keep meaning to do that.

Edited by: BECKIKORN at: 12/17/2018 (11:06)
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ALIHIKES's Photo ALIHIKES Posts: 5,502
10/30/18 2:14 P

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Since I am retired and live alone, I mostly face food pushers at social situations and family get-togethers. And most of my friends are health conscious and don't push unhealthy foods. One or two of them DO push alcoholic beverages, or a special dessert that they've made. I say "no, thank you" politely. And if someone serves me something even AFTER I've said "no" (this happens most often when they plop a plate or a drink down in front of you at the table), I push it away.

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INTUITIVEEATING's Photo INTUITIVEEATING Posts: 2,713
10/29/18 11:38 P

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My mom's my food pusher. Well, her and my co-workers, but it's getting better now that I'm saying no. A LOT.

Idgie
Southern California (Pacific Time)
My food log: www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic
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GODS_SERENITY's Photo GODS_SERENITY Posts: 4,299
10/29/18 10:08 A

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I really don't have any food pushers. My husband will offer things once in a while. I guess he falls into category 1.

He's trying to be nice and offer me, but really doesn't care if I eat it or not. I usually say, no thanks I'm not hungry. Or I'm going to have a different snack.



Debbie

2019 is my year to reach goal and STAY there. No going back. With God nothing is impossible.


I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Philippians 4:13


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SLENDERELLA61's Photo SLENDERELLA61 SparkPoints: (362,519)
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10/29/18 9:42 A

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Powerful, Sunshine! Thanks for sharing.

Since I've been at goal weight for 9.5 years most people in my life no longer even offer me desserts or treats.

Hubby is a special case. He brings all kinds of junk into the house. He still mourns that we don't have a weekly delivered pizza because he says he can't eat it all himself. He won't go to buffets he used to love because he says I don't get his money's worth.

Oh, well. That's just the way it is. I'm doing this for me. And when he tells me I am too skinny what I really think he is saying is that he wants me to prepare more fattening foods for him!! I compromise. I'll still make him meatloaf, but he swears I'm not making it as good as when I used to be heavy. Last night we saw an advertisement for spaghetti sauce with no sugar and I wanted to try it to see if it is good. He said he already knew it was no good! He is suspicious of everything I make now and any new products I try. If he thinks it is healthy he won't eat it or he has a closed mind about it.

Through Beck I've learned I have the right to eat what is good for me, what I should be eating. I wish I had more recipes hubby enjoys. I've tried lots of SparkRecipes, but haven't found things we can both eat and feel good about.

If I have to cook 2 meals regularly, so be it. I want to live life at my great weight!!


My Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!

www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?po
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SUNSHINE20113's Photo SUNSHINE20113 SparkPoints: (46,057)
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10/29/18 9:11 A

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We were out at dinner a few nights ago and our hosts kept offering us food. I was quick to say "no" and they were happy to leave it at that, but I noticed something remarkable when it came to my DH. My DH is currently struggling with his weight and I found it interesting how when I said, no, the couple left it at that, but when DH said no, they kept on pushing him until he eventually agreed. Do people subconsciously assume that a larger looking person doesn't mean no when they say it, or have those of us who have been through weight-loss and maintenance just present a stronger countenance?

The strength I feel when I say "no" to food pushers is remarkable. It was one of the most powerful lessons I ever learned on Sparkpeople. I think it was one of the first times that I realised that it was perfectly reasonable to say "no" to something I did not want to do and did not think was in my best interest. But, I do have a few friends where it is very difficult for me to do so, and who know exactly what food to offer me that I find too difficult to resist! So, in preparation for the holiday season, I need to start strengthening that muscle even more.

Sunshine20113
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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,124
10/29/18 8:54 A

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There are situations where I have said no politely and firmly so many times that I am no longer asked anymore. I am not aware of any hurt feelings. They either do not care or even respect my little to no sugar decision.

However, from the Blue Beck book study, I realize that I am sometimes a "willing accomplice" to my DH and others with their suggestions of "just a little won't hurt you... " This type of food pushing is because of me wavering and is on me. I need to have a firm plan beforehand, deciding yes or no, how much and then follow through.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,923
10/29/18 8:32 A

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Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/29/2019 (06:17)
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KRISKECK's Photo KRISKECK Posts: 1,233
10/29/18 8:13 A

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I used to think that I was immune to food pushers, but lately I've realized that I'm not.

* I give in when my husband suggests another glass of wine or to share a dessert.
* I say yes when friends or family suggest ordering and sharing appetizers or desserts when dining out.
* When I'm at a party at a friends house, I don't always feel comfortable saying no, but instead eat because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

So, what can I do about this?

Being completely honest, I sometimes use this as an excuse to eat things I want to eat anyway. I can stop fooling myself and politely decline.

My husband will not push me to eat or drink anything if I have specifically said that I am only having a glass of wine, or that I am not interested in dessert. If I let him know what my limits are, he will not push. I need to let him know.

As Dr. Beck says, I need to let go of my worry about being rude if I decline offers of food. And like QUEENOFTHEFOREST, I was struck by the idea that "People who give you a hard time are the ones who are being unreasonable, not you." I need to remember that, especially with friends.

Now that I've noticed this, I think I'll be better able to deal with it in a positive and forthright way.




Kristin
Maryland USA
Eastern Time Zone

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
-- Aristotle




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QUEENOTHEFOREST's Photo QUEENOTHEFOREST Posts: 4,871
10/29/18 7:01 A

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My DH and my best friend are food pushers. At home I do meal planning. Occasionally my DH will ask for a food that is not on my plan. I need practice managing that one. It might mean preparing two separate meals.

My friend will push dessert on me. It did not occur to me until I started to write this. I have struggled with sugar for years and I do best in many ways when I simply avoid it. She has told me I am too rigid. It's usually in front of others that she does that. Come to think of it that is a crummy thing to do to a friend.

Two lines in the book really struck me. "People who give you a hard time are the ones who are being unreasonable, not you."

And..."Create a sense of entitlement about turning down requests to eat." How I love that. I could extend the idea to creating a sense of entitlement about my exercise time. Or sleep time. Or time to Spark and plan meals. All of whatever it takes to be fit and healthy.

Mary

Cape Cod and Western Massachusetts

Well I could do that but why would I want to?


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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10/29/18 4:12 A

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Hi Team,

Today, Day 29: Resist Food Pushers
we work with a special sabotaging thought:
it is OK to eat unplanned food, because otherwise we would hurt the feelings of our host.
Let's look into this deeply!

This chapter gives us great examples, and alternative ways to look at this.
What are you thinking?
Please share here!

After years of saying (mostly) no to unplanned food, all my family members and friends know it is futile to offer me food I didn't plan, so they won't even ask, so my hard work paid off ; )
I visit my parents every week, and now my visits are not about food, because the know I'm between lunch and dinner and will not eat. So we just sit and chat, enjoying each other's company. I think my mom likes that she doesn't have to prepare anything.
At the office it is funny when someone new tries to push food on me, my "old" colleagues often say "oh, she is not going to eat that" : ))

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 10/29/2018 (04:15)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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7/22/18 4:25 P

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Congratulations to sticking to your healthy plan,
it is so nice your Aunt understood your goals.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
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110
220
330
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TNCOUNTRYLIFE's Photo TNCOUNTRYLIFE Posts: 2,685
7/22/18 3:27 P

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Day 29: Resist Food Pushers

I just dealt with this when I visited my Aunt. I told her not to prepare anything elaborate or any dessert. When I got to her house she had went to a lot of trouble for a cook out and had made cheesecake. I did take a small spoonful of a couple of the side dishes she had made and skipped the cheesecake. Rather then being upset I think she was actually impressed with my determination.

I am a pretty picky eater so it isn't that out of the ordinary for me to refuse to eat things.

Aura18: Article helped to reinforce resistance against food pushers!

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 7/22/2018 (15:33)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

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INTUITIVEEATING's Photo INTUITIVEEATING Posts: 2,713
7/21/18 8:32 P

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Day 29: When someone pushes food on me, I will say "No, thank you, but it looks great!" or "No, thanks, I'm not hungry right now (or not in the mood to eat right now)." If they are persistent, I will say "Sorry, but my cardiologist says I can't have that right now."


Idgie
Southern California (Pacific Time)
My food log: www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic
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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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5/30/18 2:41 P

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Thank you for the SP article link, she lists good examples and kind but firm helpful responses, I liked it!

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Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
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440
AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,923
5/29/18 9:42 A

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Resisting food pushers is getting easier. I'm responsible for what I put into my mouth. Focusing on what I can eat. Gradually learning more about health and nutrition to eliminate some foods.
SP article "Nice ways to say 'No' to food pushers" u.nu/p-jo
good SP blog u.nu/ztyg

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/28/2019 (20:03)
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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
4/29/18 12:55 P

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Day 29 Resist Food Pushers

I have only one food pusher in my life and that is the person I live with. He has no weight problem and he loves to have company when he eats. I finally told him straight out that he is a food pusher and that he doesn't understand what a struggle it can be for me to not eat certain foods. Once we had this heart to heart, he has been much, much, better.

However, I have also found that I can be a food pusher at times. I am really checking myself these days, especially with my Granddaughters.




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1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 28,804
3/30/18 7:10 P

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I don't have a problem being assertive with food pushers, BUT . . .

One of my hobbies is cooking. I have my favorite dishes but enjoy trying new recipes from time to time. What I discovered was that I was a food pusher. I wanted others to enjoy what I prepared as much as I enjoyed preparing it for them. It was easy to gauge how I felt when someone turned down food. Yeah, I might have been a little disappointed, but it didn't ruin my day. Nevertheless, I am reformed; no more pushing food to friends and relatives.


Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
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3/30/18 3:52 P

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I don't have real food pushers in my life ... other than my mom who lives 800 miles away. The last time I saw her in February ... we had a big fight over this very thing.

I have noticed that people offer me food more often than they offer my skinny hubby. Hmmm ... either I have conditioned them that I eat a lot ... or they assume coz of my size I over eat.
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it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 621
3/30/18 9:04 A

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I've given this more thought. I think I use this as an excuse to go off plan.

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SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 621
3/29/18 8:53 P

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This is a problem for me, but I think it is more of my own making than the food pushers. I want people to know I appreciate and enjoy food that they went to the trouble to prepare for me. I feel rude if I don't. My husband cooks dinner almost every night. I appreciate that. He also dishes it up and often it is much more than I should have. He is a good cook and it is hard to resist, especially when it is already on my plate. I read in the Beck book that even though we think we are offending people, sometimes they simply don't even notice that we didn't eat something, or if they did notice they may not be offended at all. I didn't really think that was true, until I thought about how I feel when I make a special dinner and people don't eat something, or don't eat much of it. I realized that for the most part I don't notice it. And if I did notice it, it wouldn't bother me. I might even admire their willpower. I think people should just eat what they enjoy and stop when they are satisfied. If they don't want dessert, that's okay. I usually offer to send some home with them, but I am not offended at all if they say no. So could it be that when I don't want everything that is served to me that I am falsely believing that the person serving it will be upset? I'm going to have to test this out.

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,923
3/29/18 7:38 P

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Family & friends are aware of the time I invest in my health. I talk about Spark challenges and supporting teams by earning points for exercise & nutrition.
emoticon "showing appreciation." I enjoy talking about food, cookbooks & cooking shows (Top Chef, Just Desserts). I can see and smell food without tasting if I'm feeling strong and staying on my plan.

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/29/2019 (06:15)
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LINDAINALABAMA's Photo LINDAINALABAMA SparkPoints: (77,771)
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3/29/18 2:14 P

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Hey Team Day 29

I don't have any Pushers in my life. Everyone knows I am committed, even if I fall on and off.

I do like the idea of showering compliments and asking to take it to have later with my hot cocoa. I will even bring a little baggy to contain it, but throw it out later.

And also, I'm not a perfectionist. I may have a taste, just limit myself to a bite or two. And toss the rest later.


Linda

Lindainalabama
Central Time Zone

EFT CRAVINGS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9kJN6Z
VBco&feature=related

www.fitbitzip.com https://www.fitbit.com/user/24YF4W


 current weight: 235.0 
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SUZYB53's Photo SUZYB53 Posts: 556
3/29/18 12:01 P

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What I am working on is how to show that I appreciate the other person's thought and care, even I am not eating the food that I am offered.

This turtle is to remind myself that slow but steady wins the race.


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DIROB57's Photo DIROB57 Posts: 2,912
3/29/18 5:39 A

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What goes in my mouth really is up to me, so if I give into something I don't really want or need or hadn't planned to eat, then that's my doing, not the person who offered it. There is nothing wrong with turning down food that is offered to us because ultimately, we are the one who has to live with our choices. The lesson is a good reminder that it really is okay to say no thank you. :)

Highest recorded lifetime weight (non-pregnant): 03/12/2015 - 165.5 lbs

2017 Goal Weight: 137 lbs - Met that goal & entered maintenance for the LAST time on 11/10/2017

2018 Goal Weight: 132 lbs (+/- 3%)
2019 Goal Weight: 132 lbs (+/- 3%)









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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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3/29/18 3:49 A

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Today (Day 29) we work with a special sabotaging thought:
it is OK to eat unplanned food, because otherwise we would hurt the feelings of our host.
Let's look into this deeply!

This chapter gives us great examples, and alternative ways to look at this.

This used to be a problem for me, but realizing that it is OK to say no to unwanted food, and the disappointment of the other person will be mild and fleeting ( or they don't even care) was very helpful for me.
Also I noticed often there was no pushing at all, I just imagined it (... in order to give myself permission because I really wanted to eat)

By now all my family members and friends know it is futile to offer me food I didn't plan, so they won't even ask, so my hard work paid off ; )
I visit my parents every week, and now my visits are not about food, because the know I'm between lunch and dinner and will not eat. So we just sit and chat, enjoying each other's company. I think my mom likes that she doesn't have to prepare anything.

I wrote more about this in my blog:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_jour
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
476922


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/29/2018 (03:50)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
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TWEETYX2's Photo TWEETYX2 Posts: 2,071
3/29/18 3:34 A

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nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6476920


TweetyX2 (Pam B.)
Time Zone: EST
Atlanta, Georgia [USA]

A Look Back: January 4, 2017: 265.4 lbs.
January 1st, 2018: 231.6 lbs.
Total Wt. Loss in 2017: 33.8 lbs.

2018 Wt. Loss Goal: lose 52 lbs.
End of Year 2018 Wt. Loss Goal: 188.2 lbs.

This is not a race to the finish but a journey to the end.















 current weight: 228.0 
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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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3/28/18 2:33 A

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SarahLiz, I love your strategy of praising, a smart and kind way to disarm food pushers.
After being thoroughly praised and appreciated, probably they will not follow up about actually eating it ; )
emoticon

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
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06SARAHLIZ's Photo 06SARAHLIZ Posts: 754
3/19/18 11:30 A

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I find that what a lot of food pushers really want is PRAISE. And you can't shower them in compliments if you don't eat whatever they are pushing. So I beat them to the punch and lay it on thick - "OMG that looks delish!! You are always spoiling us with treats!! I can't wait to have some later! I hope you are sharing the recipe!" And the secret is later is never. Or if they are handing it out, I take some and say "I'll have it with my coffee later" and toss it when they aren't looking. If they follow up on it, I heap on the praise.

SarahLiz



Eastern Time Zone
UTC-05:00
KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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1/15/18 3:34 A

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That's a good point about "why do you want to know?" and "why do you want me to eat that?" - reasonable but maybe too strong for the average benevolent food pushers. They may be good last resorts when a food pusher is very persistent, or there ill will in the background.

I loved the funny response of a team member "I can't eat that, I'm allergic to it: it makes me erupt in fat".
emoticon

Apart from that, I find diversion is very helpful.
Like saying how delicious the food looks and I'll certainly have a piece later, when I'm not so full, or asking for a portion to take home.
Or even accept the food, but put it aside and not eat it - another last resort for me, as I really don't like to waste food.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
0
110
220
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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 13,641
1/13/18 11:29 A

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Day 29 Resist Food Pushers
My weight this morning was 133. (up from 127.5 on Nov 3 and later that month my lowest weight was 124.5)
Oh well, start from here, stay healthy, eat sensibly. These next few real-life problem days used to be not a big deal, I felt pretty good about my mastery of them. ( 30 - 35 Eating out - To Drink or not - Eating on the road - Soothing emotions without eating) Right now, they will be good to revisit and be mindful about.

Food pushers specifically, don't really cause me to eat more, they just annoy me. Being annoyed by food pushers is pretty much a 1st world problem, I can work on handling the annoyance better. Think of some responses after multiple pushes and polite "No thank yous" like maybe, why do you want me to eat that? That doesn't really work. I was trying something along the lines of the answer Dear Abby suggested when people are being nosy about your personal life - Why do you want to know? There must be a good answer like that to food pushers. Maybe just respond - Why? Any ideas out there besides polite No thank yous ?

June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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BMASSIE3 Posts: 43
10/31/17 9:07 P

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Don't encounter food pushers much. We are a small office once in awhile somebody brings cookies or brownies in and places them on the take in breakroom, since I don't use the breakroom it hasn't been a problem.

Weighed in, lost .8 lbs, going in the right direction.

For today
-Read ARC twice
-Ate sitting and mindfully some of the time, dinner wasn’t very good, and gave myself credit. Monitored fullness after each meal and if I could take a walk.
-Didn’t do Sun Salutations this morning instead racked leaves for 30 minutes and gave myself credit.
-Stayed on plan, Had a workshop today and they brought in box lunches, gave back the chip and cookie and took half the bun off of the turkey sandwich, Gave myself credit.
-Went for an unplanned walk at lunch and gave myself credit
-Have planned my meals and snacks for tomorrow in Spark Nutritional Tracker and gave
myself credit.
-Read my “It’s Not Okay” and “Get Back on Track” response cards and gave myself credit
- Worked toward accepting what I have to do to lose weight
-Weighed-in, lost .8 lbs and reported it here.


AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,923
10/29/17 3:41 P

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Day 29: Resist Food Pushers - by saying "no thank-you" and eventually they will stop offering. I won't push if someone is watching what they eat. I like Krista's and Dr. Beck's idea of saving a small treat for evenings. End of 2016 I started 1-2 squares of frozen 100% cacao with low sugar berries at night. If I have it early...I want more. When I desire unplanned food, I think about my treat at home & resist temptation. I don't need it every evening, I can have a glass of water and save it for the next night."

Edited by: AURA18 at: 1/29/2019 (06:16)
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KBEHNKE81's Photo KBEHNKE81 Posts: 16,125
10/29/17 12:58 P

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My mother-in-law is a fantastic cook/baker, and uses food to express her love. She loves us a lot! She is not offended when someone turns down a dish, bless her heart, but she does offer seconds, send the candy dish around the table, and serve dessert at the BEGINNING of dinner so we will "save room." I am careful to take small servings, only dish up what I really want to eat, and skip dessert if it's not one of my favorites. I also learned that she will remember my favorites and serve them often when we are there, so I don't tip my hand anymore lest I be tempted next time with Schwarzwalder Kirschtorte!

A response I learned from reading "100 Days of Weight Loss" is, "Maybe a little later." People seem to read that as "I'd love some, but I would enjoy it more later." Usually, we all forget about it later and I'm off the hook.

**Kathleen
___________
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.


MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (174,066)
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10/29/17 11:46 A

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Food pushers aren't a big problem for me. I have noticed that now that I am 100 pounds thinner ... people don't offer me food like they once did. Hmmmm
emoticon

Cat

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


 current weight: 212.0 
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GOING-STRONG's Photo GOING-STRONG Posts: 7,118
10/29/17 10:22 A

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Day 29 - Resist Food Pushers

I have recently had an opportunity to exercise my resistance muscle with a "food pusher". Like with Kriszta, it wasn't really pushed; but just offered (and in my head I WANTED it) I was at my Sister's house and she had a bag of tortilla chips out and she offered me the bag. I know that chips can be a trigger food for me and I politely declined the offer. She didn't insist and I dodged a bullet. I really don't have an issue with food pushers as much as I have with myself. If I accept food that is offered and it is off plan it can set off a food frenzy. Becks has really helped me strengthen my resistance muscle and overall I know I am happier when I stay on plan.

Update: The biggest challenge I have is the gal who comes around with a basket of bread on a cruise. She doesn't push you to take one but the HUGE basket of rolls is right next to your nose and of course each and every one is delicious and fresh. In general, I don't do that well with resisting the bread. I find if I take one it usually means having another. Fortunately, bread doesn't trigger all out binge eating like sugar / alcohol tends to do when it gets in my system.


Rhonda
Seaside, Oregon

Remember...
Eat healthy.. Exercise daily.. repeat! and Consistency.. that is the secret!


 Pounds lost: 80.7 
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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
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10/29/17 7:44 A

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I used to think my mom and my MIL were my food pushers, and they make it hard to stick to my plan during family lunches.
But later I noticed they are not persistent at all, so most of the food pushing was done in my head, because deep inside I really wanted to eat what they pushed on me. They didn't care that much at all.
Since then, everybody who knows me learned that I'm not going to eat unplanned food, especially not between meals.
Strangers rarely try to push food on me, and if they do I have a deeply ingrained practice of saying no, or taking a small portion and save for later, accompanied by praising their kindness and superb qualities of said food.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
0
110
220
330
440
KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (138,931)
Fitness Minutes: (232,080)
Posts: 5,663
6/18/17 2:51 P

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Sounds like this is really a difficult point for you, and you made great observations.
One step at a time!
I loved Dr. Beck's story about the reception where she eat only a few pieces of fresh fruit, and a few weeks later she asked her host how she felt about it.
The idea that most people only have mild and fleeting disappointment when someone doesn't eat what they cooked was enlightening for me.

My strategy is showing my appreciation verbally, praising the food they made, and if I really want to eat, ask for a portion to take home with me, and put it on my plan for tomorrow.
emoticon

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 6/18/2017 (14:54)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


423 Maintenance Weeks
0
110
220
330
440
AMUSICALLIFE's Photo AMUSICALLIFE Posts: 458
6/17/17 10:51 P

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I am a food pusher myself and understand why I feel the need to eat what others bring.
For some reason, it seems like a huge insult to not eat their food.
I am the lady that pushes the food on you.
My apologies. It has taken me many years to try to understand why this is wrong.
Although I still feel a deep guilt for not eating the food you give to me and I feel quite slighted if you do not try my food as well.
This is going to take more than one day for me on this one.
I feel a deep need to eat when others are eating around me, just for companionship.
I am seriously messed up on this issue.
I make it a point to rarely eat with people because of this.
It is very difficult for me to say no. I actually never say the word no. I make up some excuse or whatever to avoid saying no.

I wrote a response card telling me what to say to a food pusher. The best one that the book examples is this: Thank you, that looks good. I will just wrap it up and take it home with me.

that is as good as I can do on this issue. I sound really really rude when saying no. Like I am better than they are and I have this "restraint" that they do not have. That is what I come off sounding like when I say it. So I will practice the above statement.


It is never too late to become who you always wanted to be.


 Pounds lost: 21.2 
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1DAY-ATA-TIME's Photo 1DAY-ATA-TIME Posts: 28,804
3/31/17 2:52 P

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I don't have a problem with food pushers or say no. But I realize that I'm a food pusher! Cooking is a hobby and I just realized how often I'm encouraging people to try what I cooked. I don't get disappointed, but I do get a satisfying feeling when someone enjoys my dishes.

Ron G.

“Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others.” Booker T. Washington
CHIGGERCANE's Photo CHIGGERCANE Posts: 871
3/30/17 5:16 P

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My mother is the only food pusher who tries to guilt me into eating. I've learned how to resist. Usually. I do find myself sometimes getting mentally upset with her - and I may indulge in something to eat - but it's never in her presence and never the food she tried to get me to eat....mental games...still work to be done here. I am always shocked when I find myself attempting the same with my kids... emoticon eye opening thought for me.

Deb
Changing my life 1 step at a time.


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