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IMEMINE1's Photo IMEMINE1 Posts: 8,811
10/7/19 8:32 P

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I have got to learn to give myself credit. My husband gets so mad when I constantly apologize for things I don't even need to say I am sorry for.
So I quick to take the blame but not the credit when due.


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DIANEWITHASMILE's Photo DIANEWITHASMILE Posts: 918
10/7/19 10:42 A

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Changes: More home cooking, daily walk,

Diane
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ANYTIMEILIKE's Photo ANYTIMEILIKE Posts: 218
10/6/19 5:42 P

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Oops I am getting behind in the reading and discussion.

This concept is very important. I am usually quite positive about my dieting but lately I have been feeling a sense of dread more often. The sense tries to tell me that I can't do this and that it's too hard. It is getting harder as I get older because it becomes harder to rely on exercise for weight loss. However I need to believe I can adapt and get the job done. I can do it I have done it before. So I will be positive when I can.

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KBEHNKE81's Photo KBEHNKE81 Posts: 16,290
10/5/19 9:28 A

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It is not juvenile to want positive feed back when we're learning new things or mastering a difficult skill. As human beings we NEED this. How many times do we say "good job" or even "good try" to someone? We can and should say this to ourselves? We don't always get these little encouragements from others, so we have to give them to ourselves - and it means just as much when we do.

Edited by: KBEHNKE81 at: 10/7/2019 (11:08)
**Kathleen
___________
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.


BCHARIE's Photo BCHARIE Posts: 12,160
10/5/19 7:46 A

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O, man I didn't get on here to do this yesterday. I need it too. It's so hard sometimes to find a kindness for myself. A work in progress....


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (139,771)
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10/5/19 3:44 A

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Thank you for the great posts!
Sounds like all need to work on noticing and appreciating all the good things we do!
As it feels unnatural first, we really need the reminders.
@THE_FAE the Fitbit buzz is a very smart one!
@SUSAN_CDN I'm glad you mentioned that you tie giving credit to sitting down to eat. Helped me notice I do the same: tied reading my ARC and giving myself credit to my meals.. and now I realized I learned this trick from the TED talk you posted!
(in allergy season I use the same trick to remember to take my evening antihistamine)

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 10/5/2019 (03:46)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 13,734
10/5/19 1:33 A

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Day 4 - Give Yourself Credit

Beck Diet Solution and Steven Siebold's Mental Toughness both make good cases for giving ourselves credit to build our confidence and avoid self-criticism that undermines our confidence.

It is easy to think that credit is not due and even a bit silly for something I should be doing, but if it takes effort to do consistently, (or when I act with " gentle kindness to myself and other people" When I" choose optimal nutrition" ) or it is an established habit that contributes to ideal weight management, it deserves credit.

Today's to-do list workbook and book

-- I read my list of reasons to lose weight (and my other response cards as needed - today they were Do it Anyway and Give Myself Credit )
-- I ate everything sitting down - every time
-- I gave myself credit for these things and for #1 eating on plan and not overeating when I was very hungry #2 not eating any junk #3 eating nutritious, home-cooked, clean food

-- I created a reminder system for giving myself credit - self-reflection before and after every meal
-- I gave myself credit for sitting down to eat - every time

This trek is going to focus on talking back and countering sabotaging thoughts. Being self-critical is a sabotaging thought, I will counter it by recognizing the energy and effort I am putting into weight management and talking to myself like I would my best friend as different scenarios and my initial reaction and my actions come down the pipe during the course of the day.

I think not counteracting sabotaging thoughts is my main weight management weak spot. When I eat more than I should to stay at goal weight, my dominant thoughts are I don't care and I really want to - both classic sabotaging thoughts.

After reading Watermellen's blog, I want to adjust when I should give myself credit. My first thought was when I make an effort, but I can get feeling virtuous about making an effort and being disappointed with the result. I want to amend that, it is good to make an effort, but it is better to have the attitude of wanting the best for my body, not being pumped on following rules and lists, rules are guides, the driving principle shouldn't be to follow rules to perfection, it should be to do these things because they are healthy. I'm getting lost in a lot of words. But I did change my focus a bit today and I think it will help me in the long run. It doesn't mean I disagree with the Beck Diet Solution, I think Dr Beck has identified a lot of distorted thinking that goes with dieting and I want to straighten those out, I also think that forming good habits are part of the BDS and I want to make good habits my ally.
I don't think BDS and the suggestions in Watermellen's blog are in conflict, I think I can bring both those forces together to work for me. I wish I was more articulate. I feel like what I wrote looks like I am running with the hares and hunting with the hounds, but I don't believe I am.

Watermellen's blog

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_p
ublic_jour
nal_individual.asp?blog_id=6
623631


Edited by: JUNEPA at: 10/5/2019 (20:54)
June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


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MONICA1504's Photo MONICA1504 Posts: 14
10/4/19 8:38 P

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This is really a tough one for me. I am so hard on myself,I only see the failures. I'm really good at seeing other people's successes, not my own. I will try and do better,but I made several cards for this, and I will look at them more than once per day.

TOWHEE's Photo TOWHEE Posts: 6,799
10/4/19 6:35 P

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I'm supercritical about what I do, since I know what "ideal" is. Yet, I encourage others by telling them that they did a great job and that they are the only one who knows what their "ideal" is; to the rest of us whatever they did was excellent. I've got to remember the advice I give others and give it to myself.

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AMUSICALLIFE's Photo AMUSICALLIFE Posts: 499
10/4/19 11:02 A

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As a musician, I am super self critical. Its hard to say "good job". Beck says, "you will reinforce yourself confidence or build awareness that you are strong and in control" of your actions. More than just eating, this can spread throughout any action you do. I like this one, because it is a "be nice to yourself" action in everything you do. Not just with food, but in life. It will build up your kids and your siblings, friends. Kindness goes a long way. So thankful this is included in the Day to do list and so early as well!

I wrote out a card today for Credit. Good job Annette :-)



Edited by: AMUSICALLIFE at: 10/4/2019 (11:04)
It is never too late to become who you always wanted to be.


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SLENDERELLA61's Photo SLENDERELLA61 SparkPoints: (364,440)
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10/4/19 9:36 A

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I see that after years of being delighted with my weight loss and feeling positive about my efforts, I was starting to shift to negative feedback to myself about my recent gain.

I absolutely see where making a point to recognize the positive things I do will be helpful.




My Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!

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SUSAN_CDN's Photo SUSAN_CDN Posts: 687
10/4/19 8:54 A

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Here is the link for the TedTalk video about developing habits and giving yourself credit.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKU
Jxjn-R8&am
p;feature=youtu.be


I still have to work on remembering to give myself credit. It is not something that comes naturally. What comes naturally to me is to focus on what I did wrong. I can have a great day, but make one bad choice and when I review my day I tend to focus on the one bad choice, and berate myself. When I remember to give myself credit, I feel so much better about myself. So I can see how giving myself credit will strengthen my confidence and help me believe that I can do this. For the past week I have had a reminder on my phone and it has been working. I'm not feeling as awkward about giving myself credit for little things. I hope that during this group reading that giving myself credit becomes an automatic habit. Practice, practice, practice! I am going to tie giving myself credit to each time I sit down to have a meal. I will give myself credit for good choices I have made since my previous meal. I think this will also help me to make good choices for the meal I am about to eat.

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THE_FAE's Photo THE_FAE Posts: 697
10/4/19 8:48 A

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I have my phone set up to send me reminders of appointments or things of that nature.

so I have it set to go off at noon to "GIVE SELF PAT ON BACK"

It's my reminder that I am doing this. I am succeeding. I am losing weight and getting heathy.

When I feel the buzz on my Fitbit (it receives notifications from my iPhone), or the words pop up on my iPhone, I do stop, and give a quick pat on my shoulder and this quick stop and reflect does help me.

I am a maker of things ... I make natural handmade soaps/body care, toxin free nail polish & botanical perfumes ... And a fiber artist who weaves textiles & spins yarn obsessively. Pack leader to 6 dogs, 1 cat & an assortment of humans.

www.faeriemadesoaps.com


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (139,771)
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10/4/19 3:43 A

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Hi Team,
today is Day 4: Give Yourself Credit
What are you thinking? Please share here!
Are you OK with this? Or do you have any sabotaging thoughts?

Today's task is noticing our good behaviors and giving ourselves credit for all the good things we have done, rather than focusing on the negatives only, giving ourselves a hard time.
We need to set up a reminder system, because it doesn't come naturally, it may feel awkward or childish... but in fact a very important skill!
So, if you have sabotaging thoughts against this, it is time to create a Response Card (like the examples in the book): write down the thought that tells us not to do it - and a helpful response that explains why this is helpful.

Did you notice the To Do List at the end of each chapter gets longer every day? ; )
Please don't forget to complete at the end of each day!
Also, you can track it as a Team Goal (Review Beck Principles checklist daily) and earn Spark Points for yourself and for the team.

Day 4 to do list:
__ I read my Advantages Response Card at least twice
__ I read other Response Cards as needed
__ I created a reminder system for giving myself credit
__ I sat down while I ate
Every time / Most of the time / Some of the time
__ I gave myself credit for sitting down to eat
Every time / Most of the time / Some of the time

Personal note: I'm not naturally inclined to giving myself credit. I just assume I should do everything right... but I understand how it makes dieting (or doing anything else consistently) easier. So I commit to make an effort to do it, on all 42 days of this challenge.
@JMARIES51 posted a great TED Talk video back in March, a few posts below, check it out if you like.


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 10/4/2019 (03:50)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,140
9/4/19 9:48 A

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This is good timing as I have been slipping up two days in a row and I need to look for the positives and give myself credit. I got my exercise in and kept up my veggies, water and... weighed myself. Overeating chocolate zucchini cake show up immediately. emoticon

Giving myself credit helps to resist getting negative, making it easier to get back on track. emoticon




Edited by: GOCALGAL at: 9/4/2019 (09:50)
Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
Smile, hug, encourage others

"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

SUZYB53's Photo SUZYB53 Posts: 579
9/3/19 7:10 A

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It works for me to do my daily planning in the AM as a way to start off my day. I give myself credit for looking back over my goals for yesterday and checking off what I accomplished. I also planned my eating for today, for which I really deserve credit because I wanted to blow it off.

This turtle is to remind myself that slow but steady wins the race.


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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (237,897)
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3/28/19 4:22 P

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I give myself credit for walking 2.1 miles today, burned 217 calories.

Gail
Southern Ontario, Canada
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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (237,897)
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3/27/19 9:13 P

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After lunch today DH suggested going to the local ice cream store for dessert. I said no because it wasn't on my food plan for the day.

Proud of myself!

Gail
Southern Ontario, Canada
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KHALL911's Photo KHALL911 SparkPoints: (5,514)
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3/22/19 6:08 P

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@JMARIES51 kudos to you for doing so good as well and thanks. I'm gonna head on over to your spark page and check things out emoticon

Well done is better than well said.

Kari from Washington PST (Pacific Standard Time) www.poetbay.com/poetHome.php?writerI
d=1266


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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/22/19 4:56 P

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I am giving myself tons of kudos for digging deep and figuring out things on a much deeper level than ever before. I am so proud of myself for sticking with my plan on eating healthy, exercising, journaling. These are all the baby steps that lead to reaching a goal, and eventually maintaining for the rest of my life.




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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/22/19 4:52 P

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@KHALL911 Your hard work is really paying off. Good work and I hope you are enjoying the journey. emoticon emoticon




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KHALL911's Photo KHALL911 SparkPoints: (5,514)
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3/22/19 4:49 P

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I've joined the YMCA and started going to Swimnasics and doing some weight training. I've lost 16 pounds in 30 days. I've changed my diet to a healthy one with lots of water and salads.

Well done is better than well said.

Kari from Washington PST (Pacific Standard Time) www.poetbay.com/poetHome.php?writerI
d=1266


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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (237,897)
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3/16/19 10:42 P

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Today I had to host a meeting of a church group on my own because the other 2 leaders were not available. It went well, and I was very proud of myself.

Gail
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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/14/19 9:49 P

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WHATSASIZE8, You are so correct about giving ourselves credit. We don't do it often enough and it is another exercise that is very important.

I understand that it is often very uncomfortable to say and receive compliments when you feel like maybe you don't deserve it. But like everything, it might just take some time of giving yourself a compliment before it feels believable and comfortable.

So thank you for sharing how you do this. I have a space in my journal for daily gratitudes and I am going to remind myself to add my own accomplishments to this list.




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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (237,897)
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3/14/19 8:08 P

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Hi, Whatsasize8...

I like what you wrote, and I printed off a copy of your comment. Why is it so hard for us to give ourselves a little praise? I frequently tell other people that they've done a good job, or that I like their new haircut.

My DH is a cup-half-empty man, so compliments or credit are few and far between. I need to learn to give myself honest credit and praise for what I do.

I hope you have a great week, and wish you lots of success with the Beck Diet Solution.


Gail
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WHATSASIZE8's Photo WHATSASIZE8 Posts: 383
3/7/19 12:13 A

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As several others have mentioned I have a hard time giving myself credit. I think for me it's because I expect myself to follow the rules so it's hard to say "good job" (or "I'm awesome!") when I expect this and more from myself. However, I have this response card written verbatim from Dr. Beck's book because it is so well stated for me: If I don't give myself credit for essential behaviors, I'll be less likely to practice these behaviors consistently. If I were naturally thin, had a small appetite, and didn't have to work at controlling my weight, perhaps I wouldn't deserve credit. But I'm not naturally thin. I do struggle. I do deserve credit every single time I think about something in a helpful way or engage in a helpful behavior.

So, in my food diary (the physical one I write in all day before I transfer the info into Lose It) I have started to write: WHAT WENT WELL TODAY? At least with this I'm reminded to reflect back on the good and give myself the encouragement to continue down this path.

Edited by: WHATSASIZE8 at: 3/7/2019 (00:17)
Sonya
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GINTEX's Photo GINTEX Posts: 8,280
3/5/19 4:30 P

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To remember to give myself credit consistently, I listened to the TED talk that JMARIES51 suggested. I enjoyed it and learned a lot. I have also posted post-it-notes that say CREDIT and have posted them in places I can see them. I will be working on giving myself a little celebration (TEDtalk) whenever I do something good for me. And when I start thinking about something I am not doing well, I will look for things that I am doing right and celebrate that instead of getting down in the dumps.

I had an example today. One of my students brought in cookies for her birthday. It wasn't on my eating plan. I decided that I didn't care, that I was going to eat one anyway, which I did. But I only ate one and that is an improvement for me. I could have had more but I stopped at one. So I celebrated that fact and pushed on, staying with my workout plan and going about my day.

Edited by: GINTEX at: 3/5/2019 (16:34)
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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/5/19 1:34 P

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Just had to chuckle to myself about give yourself credit -- of course giving everyone credit is really important, too. Thank you all my SparkPeople and Kriszta here on this team. You guys are a continual source of support and renewed energy as we move through our healthy journey.




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KBEHNKE81's Photo KBEHNKE81 Posts: 16,290
3/5/19 8:17 A

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Giving credit is my favorite. I do it all the time with everything.
If anyone needs an extra "atta girl" or "atta boy" just give me a holler.
emoticon

**Kathleen
___________
2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.


KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (139,771)
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3/5/19 3:44 A

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Thank you for the positive and wise reflections, it is an inspiration to read your posts!
@JMARIES51 thank you for the Ted Talk, it is super helpful!
emoticon

Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/5/2019 (03:44)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


426 Maintenance Weeks
0
110
220
330
440
TOWHEE's Photo TOWHEE Posts: 6,799
3/4/19 10:03 P

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That was a wonderful Ted Talk.
It has always felt like boasting or bragging to give myself credit. On the other hand I'll say to myself "Well Done" on a particularly difficult task. I'm much better at encouraging others. I guess I need to realize that I need encouragement also.

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JMARIES51's Photo JMARIES51 Posts: 3,105
3/4/19 7:17 P

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Day 4 - GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT

When you are making small changes and creating new habits, an important part of these changes is that you change your self-talk. Often we take for granted the small steps it takes to create a big change and therefore we overlook how important it is to recognize that you are making these choices.

What I do to give myself credit is that I say a small Awesome, Way to Go, WOOHOO, just to myself, but I take time to do it. I have credited this small habit of giving myself credit and that in turn has created a very positive feeling around some choices that used to be a bit difficult for me to do. As the new changes become a new habit and a new behavior, then the little celebrations get forgotten, but the overall change has taken place.

I only started this last summer when I watched a Ted Talk about how small changes can change your life. But I am beginning to feel a huge shift in my attitude. If you are interested here is the link. www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKU
Jxjn-R8




Edited by: JMARIES51 at: 3/4/2019 (19:21)



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JUNEPA's Photo JUNEPA Posts: 13,734
3/4/19 6:28 P

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I used to think that was boasting, but I now see that it feeds my motivation to continue when I see the things I am dong well.

I want to feed my inner cheerleader.

When I think I am being too hard on myself, or am feeling down or negative, to get myself back to positive, I think of my children, and how I would want others to treat my children, I would want them to be kind and positive and encouraging and give them credit for the efforts and choices they make. And then I think, that is how I should treat myself.

Actively (not in response to a specific event but as an attitude) be my own cheerleader.

Reactively to daily scenarios, resist putting myself down or being too self-critical, but don't stuff the feelings, process them, see what is good and bad about it, choose and implement a positive solution, for now and for future similar scenarios.


June -- Pacific Time Zone
Where you end up is more important than how fast or where you start out.
- Improved fitness and nutrition, energy and confidence are my rewards.
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
A PH (personal high) is the main goal, a PB is the sometime icing on the cake.
Never underestimate the inevitability of gradualness.
Sopra le nebbie delle valle e le vicende della vita sorge una promessa di luce e serenita.


 November Minutes: 875
0
750
1500
2250
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TNCOUNTRYLIFE's Photo TNCOUNTRYLIFE Posts: 2,689
3/4/19 5:07 P

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emoticon BECK and learning to recognize NSV and give myself credit has made a big difference in my weight loss journey.
emoticon I did have to learn to love myself. emoticon The scales are not always going to corporate. I lost 60 pounds last year then hit a 4 month plateau. We have to learn to love ourselves even when it is hard.

emoticon I still tracked EVERYTHING that I ate.
emoticon I logged on to Sparks everyday.
emoticon I never gave up!
emoticon I keep active in my sparks emoticon discussion threads emoticon .

emoticon Mind, body and spirit I do feel stronger!


emoticon My NSV today is that I did 5 miles in just over 20 minutes on my recumbent bike emoticon . Last year when I started on this journey I could go only 6 minutes and barely a mile.


emoticon Day 4 of compliance
emoticon I emoticon myself!!

Edited by: TNCOUNTRYLIFE at: 3/4/2019 (17:12)
Striving for strength and balance in mind, body and spirit!!

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AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,933
3/4/19 1:01 P

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Day 4 Give credit for every healthy choice! Achieving goals and tenacity will have a positive effect on other aspects in my life!


Edited by: AURA18 at: 3/4/2019 (14:29)
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CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
3/4/19 12:22 P

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emoticon it is a profound shift in thinking to look for all the positives/good things we do/did do... and also when we don't do the old kinds of stuff we used to do... that we are trying to change now...

for example... woohoo, I made and ate breakfast!
AND!!! woohoo, I did not skip breakfast, get too hungry and binge later!!! Woot!

emoticon it's like being our own cheerleader or our own mumsie or our own bff or super hero to encourage ourselves for the good things we are doing & also the things we are releasing... it is cheerful, happy-making to recognize and woohoo the good things and helps me if I do it through the day, as it happens... turns out I do a lot of wonderful things, all day long :)

emoticon whoopsie daisies ~ the stumbles... well, those I can go oops, dust off, get up, point forward and get back to helping myself with all the self-care things I choose to do, to help me :)

emoticon when I did this before, my diet buddy sent me a pink beaded bracelet she made ~ I use it when I struggle to remind myself to give myself credit, all through the day...

emoticon the other day, I read a little celebrity interview in a magazine waiting for an appointment... when she tucked her son into bed at night, they shared their Rose & Thorn from the day... I knew what that means... life is not all thorns... we learn not to prick ourselves when we recognize they are there ~ but we also encourage ourselves when we appreciate the rose and the roses are way bigger than those little prickly thorns! When hubby gives me a boquet in full bloom ~ it's the roses that bring the smile and I can't remember ever going over to admire the thorns!




Edited by: CHANGZWALK at: 3/4/2019 (12:32)
ICANINSIGHT's Photo ICANINSIGHT Posts: 22,934
3/4/19 10:58 A

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I have been ill with swollen glands and tonsils. My tonsils are now ok but not my glands.
I don't even think about giving myself credit for the good things I do for my health. I will start.
I lost a pound, but have been eating. I went out to eat yesterday, made good choices.
This will be a hard one for me, I am a self critic and a perfectionist.

Edited by: ICANINSIGHT at: 3/4/2019 (10:59)
Linda in Central Texas - Austin suburbia

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YPSARF_ABROAD's Photo YPSARF_ABROAD Posts: 541
3/4/19 10:52 A

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I have to admit that I don't feel embarassed to give myself credit, but most of the times I simply forget about it. Probably I don't feel like I really deserve credit for doing what I'm supposed to do in order to lose weight and live an healthy life-style. I already wrote a response card about this and put a sticky note on my notebook, so every time I open it to add something, I'll read my credit sticky note and give myself credit.

Since I have the pink book on my ebook reader, I ended up copying the daily to-do list on my smartphone, so I'll check it off from there (no writing possible on the ebook, sigh) and I wrote an additional line to remember giving myself credit for everything I check off!

BTW, I've already wrote 11 Response Card (I'm SOOO giving myself credit for this)!

Fran
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3/4/19 10:38 A

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At this stage in my life, I do give myself credit. My favorite quote on my mirror: One day I won't be able to do this, but TODAY is not that day.

I give myself credit many times during the day

Every day I am on the verge of making slight changes that would make all the difference in my life.

One day I won't be able to do this, but today is not that day

Carol
Southern CA - Pacific time


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OLIA_NA's Photo OLIA_NA Posts: 96
3/4/19 9:34 A

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This is still a challenge for me although over the months it's gotten better. The specific techniques that helped me were:
1. If my friend or co-worker made this mistake what would I say?
9 out of 10 times I find myself a lot less self critical and get into a problem solving rather then self deprecating mode.
2. At the end of the day I spend a few minutes thinking/writing *what went well* today.
This is my covert way of giving myself credit. Doesn't feel juvenile or pretentious to me, yet forces me to focus on positive aspects of the day rather than fall into my default mode of criticizing every little thing I did.

MISSRUTH's Photo MISSRUTH Posts: 4,990
3/4/19 9:13 A

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This is one that I struggle to remember to do. Decades of focusing on every nit-picky thing I did "wrong", the ways I failed, or slips I had... the times I ate unplanned food, or overate, or ate so fast I couldn't hardly remember what I'd eaten and was disappointed to find it was all gone. I could do an entire day "perfect" except for one little thing and yet that little thing would be all I would focus on. Well, it's going to take a concerted effort on my part to change this and remember to give myself credit.

What spoke to me most was at the end of the chapter-- the first sabotaging thought she lists, and especially the helpful response. I am not (nor ever have been) naturally thin. I do struggle. I deserve credit when I think about / engage in helpful behavior.

I have made a card for this, put up sticky notes, and made space in my notebook to give myself credit.

Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone


Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh


AMUSICALLIFE's Photo AMUSICALLIFE Posts: 499
3/4/19 9:07 A

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I am very self critical. I call the glass half empty. I am an Eeyore. This is a tough one for me. I always feel guilty after I compliment myself, knowing I never really admitted to the "whole story". I am a musician and am constantly on the "what was wrong with that and how can I make it better" mentality. Never "that was perfect". right... never going to happen. But I think I will try to say "look how far that has come" and it would be truthful. I have to have complete truth for me to believe it.
That is what I will look for today.



Edited by: AMUSICALLIFE at: 3/4/2019 (09:51)
It is never too late to become who you always wanted to be.


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GOCALGAL's Photo GOCALGAL Posts: 5,140
3/4/19 8:11 A

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Giving myself credit doesn't always happen right away but I am getting better with this useful tool. Sometimes I draw on it when I am tempted to go off plan reminding myself of all the good choices I have made. When I do slip up I look for any positives such as sitting down, slowing down, savoring, limiting or stopping. This helps to resist getting negative making it easier to get back on track.

Maria ~ So. Cal. ~ Pacific Time Zone
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"It's not the mountain we conquer,
But ourselves." unknown

Winning is Not Quitting

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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (139,771)
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3/4/19 2:30 A

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Hi Team,
today is Day 4: Give Yourself Credit

Today's task is noticing our good behaviors and giving ourselves credit for all the good things we have done, rather than focusing on the negatives only, giving ourselves a hard time.
We need to set up a reminder system, because it doesn't come naturally, it may feel awkward or childish... but in fact a very important skill!
So, if you have sabotaging thoughts against this, it is time to create a Response Card (like the examples in the book): write down the thought that tells us not to do it - and a helpful response that explains why this is helpful.
Please share your experience here!

For me this is easy to do - but very hard to remember!
... so I almost always forget to do it. Completing the checklist in the evening is usually the time I realize how many things I did well and that I deserve credit for them. Well, better late then never!

@JMARIES51 and @SUSAN_CDN posted about a very helpful Ted Talk link earlier, it is worth checking out! Great methods to build a reminder system, and give oneself credit consistently (for most recent post with the link scroll down 17 posts)

Did you notice the To Do List at the end of each chapter gets longer every day? ; )
Please don't forget to complete at the end of each day!
Also, you can track it as a Team Goal (Review Beck Principles checklist daily) and earn Spark Points for yourself and for the team.

emoticon


Edited by: KRISZTA11 at: 3/4/2019 (02:34)
Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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CHANGZWALK's Photo CHANGZWALK Posts: 8,500
1/4/19 7:38 P

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emoticon how emoticon & happy making are woohoos!! I find this profoundly helpful - to celebrate the things we do choose to do and also to celebrate the things we choose not to do that we used to do... it is happy making and has helped me in profound ways - especially to realize that we do many helpful, good positive things all day long. the stuff we goof up and whoopsie daisies will just take more practice - doesn't mean we are bad... means more practice, and that's ok too :)

AURA18's Photo AURA18 Posts: 10,933
1/4/19 12:22 P

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Day 4 - Giving Credit for every healthy choice! Building confidence and developing discipline will have a positive effect on other aspects in my life!

emoticon I'm still learning - Nutrition is confusing!?* I went from LFHC to LCHF and feel better, but still struggle with sweet and high carbohydrate foods.
Smiles Cheers - Kudos emoticon emoticon after strengthening resistance muscle
- my 2 most two difficult tasks:
1) Sticking to grocery list and staying away from food samples.
2) Giving-in to evening eating.
*** Practice distractions it will get easier: #1 Breath, Walk- Away, cleaning, reading, Sparking, writing, typing, playing with Buddy
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Response cards found on Goggle

Edited by: AURA18 at: 3/4/2019 (12:25)
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INTUITIVEEATING's Photo INTUITIVEEATING Posts: 2,713
11/24/18 8:03 P

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Great job, @BECKIKORN

Idgie
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My food log: www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic
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BECKIKORN's Photo BECKIKORN SparkPoints: (8,910)
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11/24/18 6:07 P

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It's so easy to be negative and dwell on what went wrong. Over the holiday- I keep hearing people say- well I've already overdone it- so I might as well keep eating. I didn't though. I had one big meal but the rest of the day- I think I kept things quite sensible! I'm giving myself credit for that!

Becki

broadcasting somewhere near the middle of Texas


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INTUITIVEEATING's Photo INTUITIVEEATING Posts: 2,713
11/18/18 10:44 P

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Good point, @RIIDER -- not as important to find the cause as to find the solution. That's one thing I love about Beck -- she focuses on how to change, not on wallowing in why it went wrong in our childhoods or something. (Not that that's not important in its own way, but what I want are strategies to make things better NOW, not once I fully understand my past motivations.)

Idgie
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My food log: www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic
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RIIDER Posts: 152
11/12/18 1:35 P

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I've read through a few posts about this chapter and have come to the conclusion that I'm one of the gang, despite a recent blog of mine on self-criticism vs awareness. By that I mean I have an incredible time giving myself credit, perhaps it was the way I was brought up (giving yourself too much credit was considered tres gauche, destined to bounce back as bad karma), or perhaps it's a personality thing as I'm rather introverted. Whichever or however probably doesn't matter at this stage in my life--the question is: What will do from now on?

WATCHMEGO!'s Photo WATCHMEGO! Posts: 4,322
10/12/18 9:28 A

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I used to use a system similar to the stars that were mentioned earlier. I plan to get back to that. Right now I've been verbally saying "good job' or something like that when I do something I deserve credit for. But, as a former 2nd grade teacher, I really love stickers!!

Emily - Houston, Texas

Fitbt: www.fitbit.com/user/22KHKW

"If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results."
Jack Dixon


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SUZYB53's Photo SUZYB53 Posts: 579
10/11/18 7:54 A

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Krysta, thanks for the positive call-out! Just to clarify - I get a star even on a day when I make mistakes (which is usually every day) - but as long as I think about the challenge and push myself to learn from it, I consider myself star worthy!

This turtle is to remind myself that slow but steady wins the race.


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36BEATRICE's Photo 36BEATRICE Posts: 2,704
10/11/18 7:18 A

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emoticon Idgie!

Rachel



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10/11/18 12:48 A

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Today, I picked up a chip without thinking at work and popped it in my mouth, which immediately made my brain go "HUH?" and I spit it out. I am giving myself credit for that.

Idgie
Southern California (Pacific Time)
My food log: www.drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic
.php?f=52&t=58758


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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (139,771)
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10/10/18 3:49 P

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I love your colored star method, Suzy!
Wow, it is amazing you kept this habit up for 6 months, good for you!
emoticon

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


426 Maintenance Weeks
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110
220
330
440
SUZYB53's Photo SUZYB53 Posts: 579
10/10/18 9:42 A

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In my opinion, this is one of the most valuable habits to learn. In addition to identifying the specific things that I deserve credit for, I give myself a colored star on a calendar that I made specifically for this purpose. In my system, if I stay conscious of my eating habits and make a serious attempt to be aware of my thought habits and behavior, I deserve a daily star.

I was able to do this consistently for 6 months following the last group reading of the pink book. I got off track in reflecting and rewarding myself in September after a big, stimulating international trip - and I'm really happy to be part of a group that is helping me now.

This turtle is to remind myself that slow but steady wins the race.


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COMEBACKKID12's Photo COMEBACKKID12 Posts: 5,231
10/5/18 3:32 P

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Hi everyone! Looking Great folks!

So I love this one! As you may have seen in my Check-in posts, I give myself credit with a star, a big yellow one! I write up a report and have mentioned the self-talk and BDS diet skills I've applied. Now I also give myself credit during the day too. I kinda had to shout it to myself since I know if i don't, well, I get discouraged real quick! Another thing, the BDS book mentions to keep a notebook to give credit for skills applied, up to 3 hrs before, stressing the frequency of that task.

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." Walt Disney

Teddy Bears Spring 5% Challenge 2019
comebackkid12
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MARITIMER3's Photo MARITIMER3 SparkPoints: (237,897)
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Thank you, team-mates for your positive posts here. Love your post, Aura. Like many of us, Iím a lot better at criticizing myself that praising. I think many of us were taught that we should say good things about others, not about ourselves. Iím working on this one, and credit myself for cooking healthy meals yesterday with lots of fresh vegetables even though my DH and I both have really miserable colds right now. All I really wanted to do was sleep and eat ice cream... but I didnít, so I give myself credit for leaving the ice cream in the downstairs freezer.

Gail
Southern Ontario, Canada
Eastern Time Zone


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36BEATRICE's Photo 36BEATRICE Posts: 2,704
10/5/18 2:24 A

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I was in a low mood today emoticon and am really amazed at how much harder it has been to give myself credit when I felt that I did not achieve all that i wanted (understatement).

Instead i should have given myself credit for what i accomplished.
OK then: credit for posting about credit emoticon

I feel better already emoticon

Edited by: 36BEATRICE at: 10/5/2018 (02:25)
Rachel



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