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5/4/11 1:07 A

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I'm sorry to hear about all you've been through. My husband left when I was 5 months pregnant and I found out he had been cheating alot also. I remember my pastor telling me that it wasn't about me or what I did or didn't do. It was my husband's issue and it wasn't because I wasn't good enough in some way. So you should remember that also. Your ex didn't cheat because of your weight or anything else. He may have used that as an excuse or just to hurt you, but you didn't make him cheat. That's on him.

I guess I don't have too much advice for you, since I am just now (5 years after my ex left) finally focusing on my own health. I will say take it one step at a time. It is overwhelming if you look at only the long-term goals. Just work at getting through the day and then the week... Good luck!

"Some people follow their dreams, others hunt them down and beat them mercilessly into submission." - Neil Kendall

 Pounds lost: 10.0 
ALASKAN's Photo ALASKAN SparkPoints: (37,730)
Fitness Minutes: (2,630)
Posts: 16,479
5/2/11 7:07 P

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Hello Mary
It sounds really rough what you have gone through, but I know what you mean about taking charge of your life. Mary, I know that emoticon and just keep telling yourself that you can do anything. Positive attitudes will get you there.
I eat 6 small meals a day, take my metformin 2x daily and walk our dog 2 or 3x daily. Good for me as well our dog likes the walks too. I hate taking medication, but I have really no choice

I have also raised my sons on my own. Our church family has been big part of our lives. They look at me and tell me that I have done a wonderful job in raising my son. They are a big part of my life and about a year ago this month; I met a man and he's there for all of us. when I joined Spark, I weighed 220lbs and look where I am now. But since March 25th; I have lost 9 more pounds. If you look at my profile pic, you can see how much I look different. And I feel good about it too.

Live 1 day at a time and live it to the fullest. Wish you all the best that life has to offer.... Stay focused, positive and it will get you where you want to be or done in life itself.
My name is ERNA

I'm leader of a new team : "A Safe and Happy Home For Grievers"

 current weight: 145.0 
WOWEE123 Posts: 8
5/2/11 10:21 A

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I don't really know how to do this or where to start. I only know that trying to do this on my own isn't working & I guess I finally need to admit that. I suppose if I am serious & really want to lose the weight I need to make some changes in the way I go about it. Just some background, I am a single mother of 2 kids. My X left when my youngest was only 3 months old. I found out he had been cheating (A LOT) and I had absolutely no clue. He told me that it was because I was fat & it was all my fault he cheated. With no husband, no self esteem & two kids & two dogs, I moved to another state after the divorce and tried to start a new life for my kids' and myself. Although I have been able to accomplish some good things ( like buying my own house ) and raising two wonderful kids, I still haven't been able to put myself or my health as any kind of priority in my life. In fact, although I don't know that I would be considered clinically depressed, I still cry a lot over what my life was suppose to be. I don't think I have ever consciously turned to food, but I know there is probably a good link between my weight & my sadness and my lack of self esteem. At this point though I think I cannot blame my X for my sadness anymore. It has now been 6 years and I have packed on an additional 100 pounds. And I think at some point I need to take responsibility for both my weight and my own happiness. Today I hope to take a big step in that direction by actually posting on this board. Maybe admitting some of this to people will help me take some sort of control over what I believe to be a very unhappy, inactive, life. I have let too many years go by while I stand on the sidelines & merely exist. I think I am ready to attempt to LIVE my life and I know I need to get healthy in order to accomplish that. I have tried low-carb & find it very difficult. I lost weight a long time ago doing it, but think I really need help in extremely easy & quick meal planning since I still have the rest of my family to take care of on my own and time seems to always be a huge factor in why I give up on things I have tried in the past. In all honesty I have about 200lbs to loose and that number feels so daunting that I sometimes feel it is beyond possible. I am open & looking forward to any insight and help anyone has to give.

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