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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (570,230)
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2/13/15 9:53 A

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emoticon to the team, SCBOYKIN. I'm so sorry to hear about your physical issues that are troubling you. The good news is that you are here and committed to finding and maintaining a healthier way of life. Remember to start slowly. While this may seem counterproductive, it will help keep you from becoming overwhelmed. Set a couple small, healthy goals and work from there. You can do this!

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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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NWOODS9's Photo NWOODS9 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/12/15 4:11 P

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Welcome to our team. I was very surprised to learn that your lap band 'grew' into your stomach. Didn't know that was possible.

Anyway, we can do it with SparkPeople and the confidence we build day by day.

Keep Sparking and tracking!!



On my way to a better life. Fulfilling some goals I've failed in the past and pursuing new challenges to achieve my life's journey to wellness.

Wake up with DETERMINATION - Go to bed with SATISFACTION!!!

Know a Higher Power,
Know Peace,
No Higher Power,
No Peace!

Norma Jean


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2/12/15 2:15 P

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Hi, I am new, just started tracking food today. I lost all my weight for my son's wedding in 2006 and quickly gained it back. Then I had the lap band put in and lo and behold it grew into my stomach and I had to have it taken out. So I have to do this myself, no quick fixes. I have sort of a hard time because of physical ailments. I want to be able to keep my grandchildren without being out of breath and exhausted. Looking hot again in my 50's wouldn't be bad either!

I need to remember why I started.


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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (570,230)
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2/12/15 9:45 A

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emoticon to the team, PEGGYMCW. We are so glad you are here. If there is anything we can assist you with please feel free to ask. If you haven't already, feel free to check out our Daily Thread and/or our Joke Thread. Both can give you a lift on those dark days.

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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2/12/15 9:44 A

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emoticon to Spark, DIANAS17. As you know, this is a great place to find motivation and support on a daily basis. The great news is, you are back and resuming your walk to a healthier you. This is indeed YOUR time! You can do it by taking one small, healthy step at a time.

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--oo0------0oo--
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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2/11/15 9:02 P

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One day at a time is how I am looking at it. Good luck on your new quest!
Peggy

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2/11/15 10:24 A

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Hi everyone! I'm not new to this team, but I haven't posted in years so I wanted to re-introduce myself. I was diagnosed with ADHD over a year ago and it seems a lot of my depression was related to my inability to get things done. I'm doing a lot better, but still have my rough times, and I'm working on overcoming my belief that I can't achieve my goals. So excited to be part of the community again!

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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (570,230)
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2/11/15 10:10 A

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Great quote, ARMOMMI2!

Edited by: MRS_TOAD at: 2/11/2015 (10:11)
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--oo0------0oo--
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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2/10/15 8:49 P

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"Embrace your vulnerability, and accept your imperfections, knowing they represent a small part of your past, but not who you are in the present or who you can be in the future." — Amit Sood, M.D.
emoticon emoticon

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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (570,230)
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2/9/15 9:38 A

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To any newbies perusing this thread, emoticon to the team. We are here to help motivate and support you during your journey to a healthier, happier you. Feel free to add your post to this thread so that we know you are here.
emoticon

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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ABETTERME2015 Posts: 982
1/15/15 12:56 P

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MRS TOAD--Thank you !!!!!! I will!!! Today isn't too bad but I have a ways to go. As long as I have support behind me I'll be OK!!!!!

Elise--Middlesex County, NJ

10% at a time

If at first you don't succeed, try-try again!!!!

Moderation is the key.

It WILL happen!!!!!!!


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1/15/15 10:24 A

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ELISE-COCOA7753- One suggestion I would have is to peruse or even participate in the Daily Thread or Help I'm Having a Bad Day Thread. They both a lot of traffic and there is a lot shared on those threads. Another suggestion is to set a couple of small goals and track them daily.(Maybe drink 64 oz of water a day, don't drink any soda a day, or even 10 minutes of exercise/strength training.) The advantage of tracking your goals is that you see your progress and it gives you encouragement to continue the next day. One last suggestion would be to add some Spark Friends. Then you can see their progress and they can see yours. This is yet another way to be both accountable and motivated.

Daily Thread:
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=0x953x52721712


Help I'm Having a Bad Day:
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_mes
sa
geboard_thread.asp?board=0x953x55407453


Edited by: MRS_TOAD at: 1/15/2015 (10:37)
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--oo0------0oo--
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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ABETTERME2015 Posts: 982
1/15/15 4:51 A

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emoticon For your kind words!!!!! I'm trying to make the best of it but it's hard!!!! Sometimes I don't know how to cope--maybe you can help me!!!!! I try to keep busy but sometimes that doesn't help. Any suggestions?

Elise--Middlesex County, NJ

10% at a time

If at first you don't succeed, try-try again!!!!

Moderation is the key.

It WILL happen!!!!!!!


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1/14/15 11:05 A

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emoticon XKAREN921. What kind words you shared. I hope you find support and care during your time of grief. I lost a dear family member not too long ago and am still finding I am grieving at times. But you are right! We are here to love life and I am doing that more and more with each passing day/month.

And if I neglected to welcome you, emoticon to the team!

Edited by: MRS_TOAD at: 1/14/2015 (11:05)
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--oo0------0oo--
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Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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ABETTERME2015 Posts: 982
1/13/15 2:24 P

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emoticon !!!!! It has been a tough journey for me but I hope you can help. I'm starting this year with a better mindset--this is the year I'm going to lose weight!!!!!!! Where is the best place to post?

Elise--Middlesex County, NJ

10% at a time

If at first you don't succeed, try-try again!!!!

Moderation is the key.

It WILL happen!!!!!!!


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1/13/15 11:47 A

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Just lost my best friend, my brother, 4 months ago, so sorry for you having to feel this way! We're gonna live on and(pretty please) love this life we've been given🍀

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1/13/15 9:31 A

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emoticon to the team, ELISE-COCOA7753 aka Elise. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of Mom and your BF. My heart goes out to you. Remember to take this journey slowly. Set a couple small, healthy goals (examples: drinking 64 oz. of water or 10 minutes of fitness a day) and track them. As they become less challenging, set some new goals.Whatever you do, know you are not alone on this journey to a healthier you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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ABETTERME2015 Posts: 982
1/12/15 1:51 P

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emoticon !!! My name is Elise & live in NJ. I have been very emotional for the past 40 years due to the death of my mother & my then BF. Of course, it has affected my eating & weight. I, still, get emotional even now & could use a lot of support. I would appreciate all the help you can give!!!!!! By the way, where is the best place to post? emoticon

Elise--Middlesex County, NJ

10% at a time

If at first you don't succeed, try-try again!!!!

Moderation is the key.

It WILL happen!!!!!!!


 current weight: 225.0 
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MRS_TOAD's Photo MRS_TOAD SparkPoints: (570,230)
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1/5/15 11:41 A

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emoticon to both SparkPeople and the team, MOTHEROF6BOYS. What a busy life and so full of chaos! No wonder you chose food as a comfort. The good news is that your life appears to have changed for the better with your new, supportive and loving DH. What a gift to have him in your life. 2015 is YOUR year! By setting some small, trackable goals and working to achieve them on a daily basis you will find success. Remember, you are NOT alone on this journey to a healthier, happier you. We are here for you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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1/4/15 1:17 P

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Hi. My name is Vicki and I have been struggling with guilt and depression for many years for so many reasons. I had more things happen in my life than was possible for me to accept, things I had no control over, so I did the only thing I did have control over...eat! I binge, feel guilty, diet for a week and then binge again when I need to feel in control again. After being in an abusive marriage for 18 years, being held against my will overseas for 3 years, having 4 of my children kidnapped and taken from me (I still haven't seen my 18 year old since he was 9 years old), nursing my son with brain cancer back to health (thank God he is ok now) after his father finally decided to bring him home for treatment and then taking 2 years to get a divorce from this man, I finally met a man who is wonderful. We have been married 6 years and he accepted me with all my kids, my emotional baggage and my extra weight. He promised to stand by me to help me get my health back and he has. But the guilt I have felt over the lives of my children have kept me from fulfilling my promise to him, which has added more guilt to me. I need to get my life back and finally get the life with my husband I deserve and he deserves after being so patient with me. I need support and this is why I am here. Thanks...

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1/4/15 10:48 A

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emoticon HILLARYH9201. You have had some significant changes in the past year. Talk about stress! The good news is that 2015 is your year! It's all about small, healthy changes. Just don't let yourself become overwhelmed with this journey as it is a marathon and not a sprint. Whatever you do, know we are here for you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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1/3/15 2:57 P

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Hello everyone! This is my second time around sparkpeople. I recently moved across the state and working a job as a special education teacher which is not easy and full of stress. I am really going to need support and would love to help other people on their journey. I know how important that is and I am ready for my healthy life!
emoticon

"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product."
-Eleanor Roosevelt


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LADYGRRIMM's Photo LADYGRRIMM SparkPoints: (12,284)
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1/2/15 9:59 P

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Thanks, guys :D

I think I'm off to a decent start. I have a few not-so-healthy snacks left over from last time we went grocery shopping, so I'm allowing myself to finish those off while focusing on making the main meals healthier & more appropriate. Lets me focus on the bigger goals to get into the habit. Then, onto healthy eating all around :)

Ladygrrimm
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Heavy State: Repeat Offense
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250 to 170 Pinterest Board:

www.pinterest.com/leannax91/lifestyl
e-250-to-170/


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1/2/15 12:41 P

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Hello and Welcome LADYGRRIMM & NURSEKYRAKNITS, like Mrs Toad said I would totally take baby steps, and there are some great goals to help you off toward the right steps, such as practicing drinking more water, eating one fruit a day and moving on from there, I also joined this team maybe a week ago and struggle here and there but am still doing my goals that I signed up for important thing is don't push your self way too hard it took us a while to get here and it will take a bit to get where we'd like to be!

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1/2/15 11:36 A

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emoticon to Spark, LADYGRRIMM. What an incredibly busy life you lead between college, marriage and toddler... The good news is that NOW is your time. Add yourself to that busy calendar! You need some "me time" to exercise, plan healthy menus and shop. This team is here to motivate and support you. You can do this.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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1/2/15 11:32 A

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emoticon to both Spark and the Team, NURSEKYRAKNITS aka Kyra. It's so good to know you are stable with your meds, but gaining weight due to those same meds is quite frustrating as so many of this team knows first-hand. Take this journey slowly, by setting a couple of small goals and work from there. Whatever you decide, know we are here for you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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LADYGRRIMM's Photo LADYGRRIMM SparkPoints: (12,284)
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1/1/15 9:27 P

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Happy new year, everyone! Used to be a Spark member a few years ago, rejoining for the sake of new year's resolutions. I figured I'd introduce myself to the communities I'm in, take some time to meet my new comrades in my renewed battle to get healthy and get happy.

I'm 23, from Ohio. I'm married (1 1/2 years) to an amazing-but-sometimes-frustrating-man with a crazy-and-exhausting-but-wonderful-and-ama
zing child (2 years old). I'm a stay-at-home mom, but, as of September '14, I've gone back to college for a degree in Communications. I'm aiming for a career in editing, or something similar.

As for what has brought me to Spark once again, I'm 250.6 pounds and I hate my body. I hate the clothes I have to wear, I hate the bad health I'm in, I hate the way I eat (and don't eat). I just am so far away from being happy with what I am and what I look like. I want to be healthy and feel beautiful, or at least comfortable. I want to be proud of the skin I'm in, and I'm not. So, here I am. Hopefully with the Spark community and some honest determination, I can reach my goal of 170 pounds by October. I'm ecstatic and anxious to see it happen.

As for what has brought me to this particular group, I suffer from depression. I've never been diagnosed with bi-polar, but sometimes I think what I go through is closer to that than static depression. It probably doesn't help that my mental health isn't medicated right now, and hasn't been in almost a year. I know, though, that it's also the fact that I have no one local, besides my husband, that I can connect with. What friends I do have are mostly in Florida (where I'm originally from) and I haven't seen them in years. I just feel like I have no one to really connect with when I need it, and I end up feeling extremely lonely. Another huge factor for my recent depressive issues has been the increasing stress from returning to school and the program being more fast-paced than I can generally keep up with. There's just days where I don't comprehend in the slightest why or how I'm supposed to deal with any of this.

We're currently changing insurances, but I'm hoping by the end of the month, I will be on the path to being back on meds, at least.

Anyway, I look forward to getting to know you guys. Happy new year, and best of luck to everyone with their goals for 2015!

Ladygrrimm
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Heavy State: Repeat Offense
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250 to 170 Pinterest Board:

www.pinterest.com/leannax91/lifestyl
e-250-to-170/


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1/1/15 6:49 P

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Hi everyone! My name is Kyra and I just joined Spark People today. I have bipolar disorder but I am much more prone to depressive states than mania. I put on 30+ lbs over the past few years mostly due to different medications I've been on....primarily Remeron (aka mirtazapine, an antidepressant) and Seroquel (aka quetiapine, an anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer). I have been feeling emotionally stable since about June 2014, which is a LONG time for me. I feel like the combination of meds I'm on is really working for me. Now it's time to lose the weight and get physically healthy!

�...the number one reason knitters knit is because they are so smart that they need knitting to make boring things interesting. Knitters are so compellingly clever that they simply can't tolerate boredom. It takes more to engage and entertain this kind of human, and they need an outlet or they get into trouble" - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee


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12/30/14 11:32 A

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Hi BlackCoffee 519, you are totally not alone! the best thing you did was try again it's never too late to always try again!!

and Thank you Mrs. Toad for having me!

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12/30/14 11:09 A

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emoticon BLACKCOFFEE519. I'm so glad you are back and took the time to introduce yourself. Hang in there until you see your doctor. We are here to help you stay motivated as you wait for your appointment. If you haven't already, chose a small, achievable goal that you can track. As a streak grows, this will give you motivation to continue toward that healthy goal. You are NOT alone.

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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/30/14 11:05 A

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emoticon TWEETY2871 aka Cynthia. I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling with your nutrition and exercise due to depression/anxiety. It's tough, but can be overcome. This team is a great place to find motivation and support. Stick to small, track-able goals each day so you don't become overwhelmed. Whatever you decide know that we are here for you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
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--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/29/14 4:42 P

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Hey, guys! I just (rejoined) SparkPeople after a really long hiatus. My depression isn't at an all time high, but it's still very much there. Hopefully when I see my psychiatrist in January things will change (we are switching my meds). Anyways, I would love to make friends!

Kimberly
Chicago Suburbs


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12/29/14 1:10 P

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Hello my name is Cynthia, I am here to build an overall healthier lifestyle I am no stranger to eating right and exercise but I do fall of the wagon from time to time, I was afraid of coming forward with my depression till I recently learned that my anxiety was very bad and causing other issues such as messing with my indigestion I came forward just so I could feel like I could function again, I have been on Celexa for about 2 years and have been doing good with this.

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12/26/14 4:28 A

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emoticon to all the new team members... emoticon to SP! It's nice to have to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


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12/21/14 10:19 A

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emoticon to both Spark and the team, KURONORU aka Téa. You have made some very positive changes in the last year. Between college, your mental health program, your boyfriend and your healthy lifestyle changes.... What great accomplishments! You deserve a pat on the back. However, I can hear your frustration and sadness. That's the great news about this team and Spark. There is tons of support and motivation available. All you have to do is ask for what you need and always know you are NOT alone on this journey.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/20/14 8:21 P

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Made a separate thread for introductions but figured I would post a little in here since I didn't really give much detail on the one I made.

I'm brand new to the team as well as sparkpeople, but I already love it here. My name is Téa, and I have had depression for so long I can't really remember a time where I didn't, unfortunately. In the past year and a half, I moved from my home state to a different state abruptly (due to loss of housing) and I had to live in an extremely run down 1969 airstream camper, complete with black mold everywhere and a horrible shower. I lived there for 10 months in total despair, it was quite possibly the worst my depression has ever been, rivaling the first 2 years of highschool.

I started going to college last January, though, and met my boyfriend there. I moved in with him after about a week (crazy I know) because he couldn't live knowing the horrible conditions I was in. Since then with tons of his support, I've entered into a mental health program for the first time ever, and I'm taking Wellbutrin, which has done A TON for me. I finally feel like I can breathe after years.

Even though my depression has gotten loads better, it still lingers. I don't have a job yet and I am a late start on getting a license (so everyone has to drive me places... it's embarrassing but driving gives me so much anxiety!) and recently that's been getting me down, feeling like a failure. And even though I've been in college a year, I don't really have any "friends," you know, the ones who like you enough to see you outside of school? Yeah.

I have nothing to do at home because I lack any real hobbies, so I am trying to stick to exercise and changing my lifestyle for once in hopes it will help, and getting the body I've always wanted would do so much for my self-esteem.

My main coping mechanisms are eating my weight in junk food and talking, A LOT, about what's bugging me. I can admit I am a complainer. But I am a recovering self-harmer, and I think talking someone's ear off is better than that. So basically, this means I will be relying on this team a lot, and complaining. A lot. Sorry!

Sorry for the block of text. Like I said, I like to talk. Whoops.

Here I am, Queen of extremely long posts and procrastination.


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12/20/14 9:24 A

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emoticon to the team, NWOODS9 aka Norma Jean. (Congrats on your 14 years of sobriety. What a feat of strength!) This team is a great place to find support and motivation. Unfortunately, the winter months can often make it more difficult to exercise and battle depression. The good news is that we are here for you. Just ask for what you need.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/19/14 10:33 A

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Hi, I'm Norma Jean. I've battled depression since I graduation from high school. Became inactive and lead a sedentary life style.

I medicated myself with alcohol to relieve the depression. Didn't know at the time I was depressed.

I have been sober for 14 years this August 16, 2015. I started taking Zoloft shortly after I stopped drinking.

Since I've joined SparkPeople, and started loosing weigh, I stopped taking Zoloft in April, 2014. This is the first time I've managed the Fall Blues this well since I recognized my depression.

Good new is that I discovered exercising is the key for me. I've become more active and the journey continues. I knew and heard that exercise was good for depression, but didn't act on it.

Well, better later than never!!

Edited by: NWOODS9 at: 12/19/2014 (10:33)
On my way to a better life. Fulfilling some goals I've failed in the past and pursuing new challenges to achieve my life's journey to wellness.

Wake up with DETERMINATION - Go to bed with SATISFACTION!!!

Know a Higher Power,
Know Peace,
No Higher Power,
No Peace!

Norma Jean


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12/18/14 9:45 A

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emoticon to the team, AB8174. You have been here on Spark for 5 years so you know that your battle with depression and PTSD has its down time. We are here to offer you support. If there is anything we can do to help, feel free to ask. In the meantime, stick to small, healthy and achievable goals. These small changes really do help over the long run.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/18/14 9:42 A

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emoticon to the team, OOPSOCD. I'm so sorry to hear you have struggled with depression since your teens. It certainly is a challenging and frustrating disease. The good news is that this team knows the ins and outs of depression first-hand and can offer support and motivation. We are here for you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/18/14 7:49 A

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Hello :) I have been a member of Spark for about 5 years and have had some success with it, though I find it incredibly hard to stay on track due to my depression and PTSD. I realize how much better I feel when I exercise and eat right, but my mind seems to fight me the whole way. Anyway, I hope I can find some support here to help me get on with the challenges ahead.

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12/17/14 11:45 P

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emoticon to all the new team members... emoticon to SparkPeople's DwD team emoticon ...Nice to have you with us on the journey to a healthier lifestyle.

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.

Mistakes are the portals of discovery.

Don't be afraid to give your best at what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves.

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


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12/17/14 3:12 P

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My name is Chantal and I'm new to the team. I've dealt with depression since I was in high school so it's just a part of who I am.

#spandexisnotagiven


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12/17/14 2:07 P

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Thank you and happy birthday!

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12/17/14 9:33 A

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emoticon to the team, FABULOUSINBLUE. I'm so sorry to hear about your medical difficulties. All of that and then to break your foot. The good news is that you found Spark and this team. We look forward to helping you during this time of recovery and healing. Take it easy on that foot and continue working those seated exercises under the instruction of your therapist.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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12/17/14 9:30 A

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emoticon POPEYETHETURTLE! I'm so, so sorry to hear about your 10+ week ordeal, but I'm glad to see you back here on Spark. I have always looked up to your honesty and straightforwardness. You and your DW have been through the ringer and need all the support and motivation this team can give. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you along the way. You are NOT alone and have been terribly missed.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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FABULOUSINBLUE Posts: 17
12/16/14 7:04 P

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Hi everyone,
I joined SP last week and am slowly getting to know my way around the place. I have struggled with depression for many years. My mother died when I was 14 but was in an institution on and off for a couple of years before that due to undiagnosed epilepsy. I had two major episodes of depression at 30 and 34 when my daughters were born and in the second instance was admitted to a mother baby unit for 10 days when my youngest was five months old. I have been on and off medication since then and am now 52 and still battling it. When I was 44 I joined the local gym again but this time committed to it fully and lost twelve kilos. I love exercise but most of all the company of others. At home on my own I often feel depressed. In September I injured back and five weeks ago I slipped and broke a bone in my foot and so I have not been able to participate in the same activities. Even when I recover I probably will be a bit limited to what I can do. Back to the black dog again. I was reading an article last week on SP and thought, what the heck I'll join. I did have a trainer as I was pressed for time but she has not been in contact with me since I hurt my foot which has surprised and hurt me. One of my other group leaders suggested supplementing seated exercises whilst wearing the boot. I hadn't even thought of this due to being depressed. The physiotherapist agrees I can do these. Needless to say I won't be going back to the trainer. The weight has crept up again but I am glad I have people to talk to.

Edited by: FABULOUSINBLUE at: 12/16/2014 (19:10)
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12/16/14 3:48 P

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OK, I'm not new, but I have been MIA for quite a while.

While I recognize almost all of the leaders, I am not familiar with many of the people who are now active on the team boards.

Since I was one of the original founders of this team, and currently the most senior in terms of time, I can't accept what I've done.

Yes, I have been completely absent from Spark for almost a year. Being gone for such a long time was necessary for me. I was feeling overwhelmed and I was having some instances of Severe Depression.

I am feeling better now, and over the course of the year have dropped my dosage of Effexor 75 mg; dropped Lamotrigine 50 mg; dropped Clonazepam 2 me's; and Trazodone 100 mg. If you had asked me last year at this time, I would have told you you must "REALLY" be insane to suggest such a thing. Good thing I didn't listen to myself!

Woops, the alarm just went off and I need to check the rise on my home made yeast rolls. I've found that an old time hobby seems to be doing something positive - especially when I'm pounding dough or flattening chicken for Chicken Cordon Bleu as I did yesterday. My wife loves it when I cook.

Yes, I can smell the yeast. They are ready for the oven. I get the very first one as soon as it cools down enough to eat, and yes, I have planned it into my meal plan for today.

"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

Co-leader, Conservatives/Republicans sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=4683


Co-leader, Writers www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=50375


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12/16/14 3:19 P

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DORKYMISSSTL,

Yes, it is different for everyone.

When I couldn't stand it anymore, I sought help with a licensed psychologist, but that just taught me how to lie to her - things didn't get better at all.

My DW was very worried about me and had a feeling I was thinking about suicide. In my next to pivotal visit, she (my psychologist doc) suggested that I bring my wife to the next meeting so she could give some pointers on how to recognize when I was having a more than difficult day and what my wife could do to help.

I'm also diabetic, so I MUST always have my Insulin. It just so happens that a massive overdose of Insulin has been a tool for suicide. The day my wife took off work to go see my psychologist, I had plans to go back home, then end my life while my wife was at work.

I know that isn't rational, but at the time I physically and psychically hurt so bad I couldn't stand it. I Couldn't think rationally.

After about 10 minutes of blah, blah, blah, my psychologist came straight out, told me of my wifes concerns and asked me if I was planning to suicide. The question blew me away. I couldn't answer and I felt like I had an out of body experience, looking at everyone in the room from high in the northeast corner.

When I felt re-attached to my body, I simply said, "Yes". That got me a Stat admission to our local Cuckoo Clock Resort and Spa Therapy center.

The psychiatrist team immediately started me on Prozac and doubled the dose the next day and on the third day put me on the max dosage - didn't work. Three different, increasingly powerful drugs were tried with zero results. I started spontaneously bursting into tears, going to my room and pulling the sheet and blanket over my head.

They then started me on the then most powerful anti-depressant in their arsenal. It was supposed to start at 37.5 mg and not be raised for at least a week. Two days later they doubled the dosage, two days after that they jumped to the then recognized maximum of 350 mg of Effexor, daily. The second day at that dosage, the spontaneous crying quit. I was back to a little better than when I came in, but not enough to please me or the doctors.

They started combining different psych meds to see if I would improve. The first one they tried caused me to have seizures after the second day. I was taken by ambulance to the regular hospital where they treated me for seizure disorder. The neurologist was very thorough and dc'd the second psych drug and added Lamotrigine to the Effexor. When I had gone 48 hours with no additional seizures, I was released from the hospital and returned to the psych hospital.

Lamotrigine has a synergistic affect when combined with Effexor, and my psychiatrist doubled the dose the neurologist had prescribed to 200 mg. This mellowed me out some more as far as the depression went, but I started having panic attacks, so they added Clonazepam 1.0 me twice daily or as needed. During the entire time I was at the "Resort" I woke up multiple times in the night, so my doctors added 300-400 mg of Trazodone, nightly.

All of this stopped my descent into Hell. My terrifying dreams of going deep under the earth stopped at the edge of the magma, past the safety chains. I was looking at the magma when I slowly, slowly started backing away.

The speed at which I improved was not enough for my doctors, so they tried adding a different drug to my "cocktail". Two days later I was again struck with seizures and went back to the physical hospital. At that time, my Neurologist actually became angry. She said my psychiatrist should have known better because the new drug was in the same "class" of antidepressant as the first one that had caused me to go into the hospital. I'm guessing she called my assigned psychiatrist, because after I returned to the Resort (never could find the Spa), he sort of apologized.At that time the team decided that slow improvement was better than no improvement at all and I started group therapy.

This all happened over a ten week period, which seemed like forever to me. I was finally released and went home. Going back home actually caused a setback for a couple of weeks, but I finally felt like I wanted to get out in my backyard and at least mow the lawn. Ten feet outside the back door Agoraphobia froze me. Then I couldn't get back inside the house fast enough. I retreated to my bedroom, closed the shades and door, got in bed and covered my head. My wife came home from work at her regular time, saw I was out of it and called my psychiatrist. He asked if I had taken any Clonazepam. No, I had been so terrified I couldn't think of something smart, so I took an additional dose and within an hour or so was able to come out of my room and back into the light.

On my next visit, my psychiatrist said to start by standing by the back door two or three times daily until I felt comfortable, then start opening the door 2-3 times a day for as long as I was comfortable.

OK, I'll cancel the "rest of the story", that's TMI.

Bottom line is that some psych drugs work almost immediately for some people, but not for others. Some psych drugs don't work at all. Some people need a cocktail of drugs for improvement.

I can say that after 10 years, going from severe to chronic depression, I have been able to cut down on all my meds and have felt normal for a few days. The first day I felt "normal" it was such a high compared to the depression, I called my psychiatrist, worried that I was developing *lost the word* (the up and down mood cycling mental disorder). After talking with her, the dx was, I was feeling normal. After more that 10 years, I'd forgotten what normal felt like.

It doesn't "sound" like you are in as much trouble as I was, so I expect your psychiatrist will find a drug and dosage that is right for you.

IF you were prescribed this by a family doctor and you don't see improvement, definately go see a mental health specialist. Sometimes, even often, Family Doctors are not quite the experts in all things medical that they think they are.

Agape,

Bob

PS: I know you don't know me from Adam Off, but I have been here with this team the longest of any current member and I'm asking you to consider doing me a favor. Please consider changing your name to something positive, or at least neutral. Being called a dork by almost anyone else is considered to be a negative comment about them. Please don't think of yourself that way. To my way of thinking, and I'm definitely old fashioned, "Eccentric: is OK, so is "Walking to the drum of a different beater [that's me]", but being called a dork is belittling. Maybe I am too sensitive because I was referred to as "the dork in the corner" for too many of my socially molding years.

Edited by: POPEYETHETURTLE at: 12/16/2014 (15:31)
"A government big enough to give everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have."
-Ronald Reagan

Co-Founder, Dealing with Depression; www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_individual.asp?gid=953

Co-leader, Conservatives/Republicans sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_indiv
idual.asp?gid=4683


Co-leader, Writers www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=50375


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12/16/14 10:27 A

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emoticon to the team, EMILYELIZABETHH. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandmother. Grief can play havoc with depression and it takes time to heal and find peace. Be gentle with yourself... as gentle as you would be with a dear friend. Remember also that your doctor is only a phone call away if you need additional support. My heart goes out to you.

``````(.)~(.)``````
`````(--------)`````
--oo0------0oo--
``````ribbit!`````

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance. ~ unknown

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain. ~ unknown


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