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DEADEND-DREAMER's Photo DEADEND-DREAMER Posts: 1,972
9/29/13 11:17 P

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Thank you Repunzel!
~Dianna

~Dianna in WA is running to the light!

Challenged with fibromyalgia, diabetes T2, Myofascial pain syndrome, Osteo-Arthritis, chronic bursitis, glaucoma and severe dry eyes.

Medication reduced to 1 - 500mg tablet of metformin daily.

Love my grand baby!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott



 current weight: 187.0 
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RAPUNZEL53 Posts: 40,584
9/29/13 6:04 P

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 current weight: 130.6 
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DEADEND-DREAMER's Photo DEADEND-DREAMER Posts: 1,972
9/29/13 10:47 A

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Thank you Audrey. The scrapbook/photo-album is a really good idea. A good amount of the things he left I was able to add to a yard sale last summer. Mostly old pc games and such but still a rather painful experience. Luke had already given away a bunch of his things before passing because he was moving in with a friend with a small apartment. The rest I have are movies, some electronics, kitchen items and a small amount of misc. The misc are things I can't part with right now and my older children may want at a later date. I have baseball cards I haven't found a buyer for and I just can't give them away to St. Vincents.

It's such a process. It does help to talk about this here though. Thank you so much Audrey.
Happy weekend:)
~Dianna





~Dianna in WA is running to the light!

Challenged with fibromyalgia, diabetes T2, Myofascial pain syndrome, Osteo-Arthritis, chronic bursitis, glaucoma and severe dry eyes.

Medication reduced to 1 - 500mg tablet of metformin daily.

Love my grand baby!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott



 current weight: 187.0 
187
171.5
156
140.5
125
DEADEND-DREAMER's Photo DEADEND-DREAMER Posts: 1,972
9/29/13 10:29 A

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Thank you LQUEST. My son, Luke, became suddenly ill in Sept 2012. I had originally moved in with Luke in the Seattle area to be near my daughter in 2011. She has lyme and a whole slew of other issues and just had her 1st baby. Luke was so happy that I was there. Then a year later, Luke literally became severely mentally ill overnight. Nothing seemed the bit odd prior to that morning. I understand it's a genetic thing like my diabetes ; predisposition to - brought on by the right circumstances. It happens to millions across the world.

Anyway between his illness and my daughter and her abusive live in boyfriend, my health issues began to escalate and my son said he was going to lose his job and so I should move back home. So that is what I did, as painful as that decision was. 2 months later, he walked out into traffic during one of his episodes.

I admit I'm pretty burned out but I do try to look outside myself and be helpful to others when I can. For the 1st year I can remember, I'm sending out birthday cards vs email cards and will be sending holiday cards this year as well. I have a friend who is in a similar boat, here without family and no car. Her husband passed away so we try to be there for each other. But her health doesn't allow her to help me with sorting out my house and there was no one here who offered help during that time. It's a retirement town so we have a lot of elderly here. We're as they say, "on our own."

I will try the timer idea and see if I can get myself going with that. Thank you LQUEST for your kind response.
~Dianna

~Dianna in WA is running to the light!

Challenged with fibromyalgia, diabetes T2, Myofascial pain syndrome, Osteo-Arthritis, chronic bursitis, glaucoma and severe dry eyes.

Medication reduced to 1 - 500mg tablet of metformin daily.

Love my grand baby!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott



 current weight: 187.0 
187
171.5
156
140.5
125
AUDREY-A*NEW*ME's Photo AUDREY-A*NEW*ME Posts: 7,325
9/29/13 7:48 A

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Happy Birthday for today!
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I'm very sorry for your loss. The death of a child is something that no parent should ever have to cope with. Time will ease your grief, but you will never get over the loss.

My small suggestion is to take photos of some of your son's items that you may be able to part with. Make a scrap book or a photo album and then you can look at it whenever you want. I suspect that some of his items may be packed away and you can't view them easily anyway.

Good luck with the process, I hope that it goes as smoothly as possible.

Height 163cm = 5 foot 4 inches.
Highest pre SP weight 81 kilos = 178.6 lb, Dec 2005.
SP Start Weight 8th July 2006 78 kg = 172 lb
HALF WAY 17th September 71.5 kg = 157.6 lb
June 2007 reached original goal 65 kg = 143 lb
July 2007, 62 kilos = 136.7 lb
December 2008 72 kilos = 158.7 pounds.
December 2009 78 kilos = 172 pounds!!! Going the WRONG way!
December 2010 77 kilos = 170 pounds.
December 2011, 76 kilos = 167.5 lb
December 2014, 77 kilos = 170 lb


 current weight: 185.0 
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LQUEST4754 SparkPoints: (53,798)
Fitness Minutes: (57,438)
Posts: 5,096
9/28/13 10:36 P

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So sorry to hear of your loss. Loss sometimes has this effect on us. You didn't say how long since your son's illness.

May I suggest a couple things? First, if at all possible start trying to do SOMETHING, anything for someone else. A note, phone call, greeting, homemade gift, etc. will help others AND you to feel better. Recovery is gradual. It happens though. It really can be useful to do for others in some way.

If it is possible experiment with a timer as you deal with things. Try 15minutes a day, etc. see if one of the folks who said to let you know if you need anything to help or to carry things.

We are here for you. You reached out for help. You have been heard. You can do this.



DEADEND-DREAMER's Photo DEADEND-DREAMER Posts: 1,972
9/28/13 9:37 P

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Hi everyone, I'm Dianna and today is my 57th birthday. I live in Eastern Washington state, in a little rural town with my furbaby, Ms Bella, my tortoiseshell cat. When my mother passed in 2010, I inherited a lot of her things. Over the next few years I was able to clean up my place and move on. I was doing good until my youngest son became very ill and passed this last May. He was almost 34 - and so I've once again inherited more things, some of which I still cannot part with. It does make for a cluttered little apartment and with my physical challenges (chronic pain and mobility issues) along with the depression that follows losing a child, I find myself very frustrated with my surroundings.

I do have storage containers but when I have to take things out of my closet to find something, it's a real pain putting everything back in order. Everything is heavy and awkward for me to handle and my pain can flare quite easily. My balance is bad so climbing or using step stools is something I try to avoid. However, this really isn't the only reason I'm not keeping my place in the order I want. I just have so little motivation and I know that's part of the grief and depression but I find it so frustrating that I can't just snap my fingers and take care of the clutter. I look around and can't believe I live like this. Mind you, my apartment isn't dirty but I get so tired of moving things from one place to another. Which is why I'm here. I realize I need to find a way to deal with all this so I'm hoping I can develope a healthy plan of action with some help. The weather is getting colder so I'll be stuck inside until spring which really doesn't appeal to me:)

I did try the flylady web site some months back but I'm on a very limited income. I am challenged with the fact I can't drive nor do I have access to a car. Anyway, I do look forward to any suggestions you might have.

Thank you so much,
~Dianna

~Dianna in WA is running to the light!

Challenged with fibromyalgia, diabetes T2, Myofascial pain syndrome, Osteo-Arthritis, chronic bursitis, glaucoma and severe dry eyes.

Medication reduced to 1 - 500mg tablet of metformin daily.

Love my grand baby!

"Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead." ~Louisa May Alcott



 current weight: 187.0 
187
171.5
156
140.5
125
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