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TURTLE69's Photo TURTLE69 Posts: 52,126
7/19/15 2:24 P

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Welcome to the team! Eating out of boredom is common and at least you realize it so you can change the behavior. Try doing something instead of eating. If you have a hobby like painting, crocheting, knitting, gardening, etc., do that instead of eating. You could even read a book or write in your journal. Maybe you could do some exercises. Just change what you are doing at that moment so you won't feel bored.

As for the depression, that is a little harder to deal with. Sometimes you need to seek professional help because the problem is so deep set. Whenever you can recognize that you are eating because you are depressed, stop and do something else. Don't feed the emotion. I haven't found a substitute to use for my depression so all I can tell you is not to eat when you notice that you are eating because you are depressed.

I wish all the best. Good luck in your weight loss journey.

Vanessa

"Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort." Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
Confucius

"God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference." ?


 Pounds lost: 82.0 
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SYLPHINPROGRESS's Photo SYLPHINPROGRESS SparkPoints: (107,391)
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7/15/15 7:15 P

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It's difficult, but not hopeless. I've read and re-read your note and a few things strike me. In no particular order, here we have my never [or rarely] humble but sincerely caring and sympathetic opinion:

You're not four years old any more. You are a woman with a grown-up life and grown-up responsibilities which I think you're handling nicely. The depression and pain are real, but you do have power, as you can see in other areas of your life. You can harness your power to develop new habits. It's not easy and it takes time and consciousness, but you can do it. Telling yourself that it's beyond you is one of the greatest obstacles of your own making.

We don't undo all the years of a behavior; they always will have existed. Maybe we replace the behavior. It sound scary, but it can be made less daunting. There's no mandate to give up a behavior until we have a replacement for it. It's easier to make the change when we've decided on what it is.

Eating from boredom and from depression are classics. You say you sooth yourself this way. Next time the 8 p.m. package of cookies materializes from the kitchen, pay close attention to what you feel as you eat them. I will bet $10 that you don't write "soothed," but instead "mindless" or "unaware" or something similar. After you've finished eating, write how you feel. Another $10 that it's either "in a stupor" or "numb" or something similar. Overeating doesn't make for comfort. It's about Oblivion, neither a fun nor useful place to be.

You may find it very useful to journal every time you eat, what you eat and how much. Include regular meals and the eating that's clearly from emotional triggers. Be brutally honest as to the why's of before, during and after. Make note of specific incidents that set you off. You'll learn a lot of useful info from your notes. The journal is intended to be a tool for learning, not a means to punish yourself. Think how amazing you'll feel when you can look back over earlier entries and say "I don't do that any more" and "I don't feel that way any more." Even when you "do that" or "feel that" -- allow that there may be slips because you're human -- you'll know that you are able to change direction again.

Who are you beside "Mommy 2 Cubby?" There's more there!

LAURIE, NYC

Tra-la-la.


 current weight: 198.0 
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NFLATTE's Photo NFLATTE Posts: 9,714
7/15/15 5:50 P

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emoticon The journey may be long, but it's not hopeless

 Pounds lost: 37.0 
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MOONCHILD8's Photo MOONCHILD8 Posts: 7,059
7/15/15 2:35 P

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I know it is not hopeless! I know because now I am a maintainer. I have built new habits along the way. I like exercising in the morning and exercise all day long by walking. I move around more than I eat. I eat less and talk more. I work four days a week. I some times eat the things I should not but stop myself. It is not easy but if I weight myself every week and I am up a couple of pounds then I watch my intake of food and measure more. The weight comes down again. I can not give up on me. I love me. Only you can change you. I know you can do it because I did it. I am happy you have taken the first step by asking for support. We are here to give you the support you seek. It is very hard to do this alone. You have us! Please try the challenges on Spark people because they can be a fun way to lose the weight. I am on the 5% Challenge now. I also have joined Stormy's Challenge. Stormy has challenged everyone to lose 10 pounds this month. Linda from bean town

Linda from bean town EST


 current weight: 125.0 
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TIFFA409's Photo TIFFA409 Posts: 3,745
7/15/15 2:09 P

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I know it is the hardest thing to do when you are feeling low, but exercise releases endorphins and help me feel better than anti-depressants ever did. try to talk yourself into just 10 minutes. Often times, I find getting started is the absolute hardest part and once I get started I don't mind continuing past those 10 minutes and if 10 minutes is all I do, then I accomplished my goal and I can feel proud of myself! When you find yourself wanting to eat to sooth yourself- try to find an activity to do instead. go for a walk around the block, tidy the kitchen, pair those socks you have been meaning to get to for days, take a bath, read a book, do something crafty- the point is - find something that keeps your attention. TV is the worst because years of "practice" has taught us to snack while we watch the tube. I catch myself always thinking about what is in the cupboard while seated in front of the TV.

I don't think we will ever "cure" ourselves of these old habits, we will just learn new ones to establish in their place. Coping mechanisms if you will.

My number one coping mechanism is the bathtub. I can't eat in the tub so I take refuge in a bath. I run the water, grab a book or set up my laptop to watch something and put myself on "timeout" away from the kitchen.

you will find what works best for you, grant yourself patience and kindness- this is a learning process and we are all here for the same reasons. So be honest with your teammates and yourself. Nothing will change without first acknowledging the truth of the situation. My truth is I know which foods are good for me and which ones aren't and I know that exercise helps me to feel better physically and emotionally. It is time for me to make better choices for my health.

~Tiff~
SW 01/01/16: 189

5% goal: 179.5 met 8/14/18
8% goal: 173.88
10%goal: 170.1
12% goal 166.32
15% goal 160.65
18% goal: 154.98
20% goal: 151.2

GW: 125
"Seven days without exercise makes one weak."


 Pounds lost: 13.0 
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MOMMY2CUBBY's Photo MOMMY2CUBBY SparkPoints: (46)
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7/15/15 1:43 P

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For the past year or so I have told myself that I wanted weight loss surgery. Our insurance doesn't cover any of it so it hasn't been an option. But the last few months, I have been trying to be more aware of why I over eat. In some ways, it feels like it will never end. My mom died when I was 4 years old, and that was when the over eating started. I am now 32. How do you undo years and years of soothing yourself this way? I don't think now that weight loss surgery is the way to go, at least not at this point...because these old habits will still be there. But how...HOW is it possibly to "cure" yourself of this? It seems impossible.
I eat when I'm bored a lot. I suffer from depression, which makes me eat. I have a lot of emotional pain in my heart...it makes me eat. I don't know how to stop the cycle. I hope I can get some help in this group, because it feels kind of hopeless!

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