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3/25/12 2:09 P

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3/23/12 2:51 P

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I'm about to scream. I'm back at home for a week of spring break and my dad won't stop yelling! I am so used to being able to do my own stuff, not sweating the small stuff and he just stresses me out so much. He isn't mad at me (thank goodness) but he makes a big deal about everything and always raises his voice and it just increases my blood pressure.

Yesterday the stress became to much, I broke down twice and I ended up binging till the point of feeling sick to make me feel better. GAAAHHHH I need to go back to school to avoid this craziness. I binged twice already this week. I'm trying to keep to eating healthy but its so hard when I just want to run away from it all but can't.

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3/23/12 3:41 A

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Edited by: CD12072200 at: 4/14/2012 (16:34)
CHOCOHOLIC2276's Photo CHOCOHOLIC2276 Posts: 7,956
3/22/12 1:07 P

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I just need to vent today. I am so angry and feel so alone. I was at 157 in late November and slowly my weight is ballooning back up. Hit 171 this morning. I can't seem to stop though. I feel alone. So I eat and I stuff my face until I can't feel anything except the fullness. I know what I am doing. I recognize it and yet I can't push the stop button. I don't know what to do.

I used to love working out. Craved it every day. I stopped doing that too. I avoid the gym like the plague. All I want to do is get under the covers and watch mindless tv and sleep.

.

Tania
VA-EST
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CAMPERLIVING's Photo CAMPERLIVING SparkPoints: (0)
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3/17/12 11:21 A

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I have had similar days/weeks/months. It's even harder when what you used to like doesn't taste good. It's like you want to try to find something to fill the gap and you can't. It's definitely a struggle!! What I did was start noticing things that I really liked when I was eating "right". Those things would then become my go to treats. One was a peach with 1/2 cup of slow churned caramel ice cream. I peeled and sliced the peach, then let the ice cream melt over it. It took longer to eat while letting it melt and it was great!! Another treat for me is simple greek yogurt with fruit. I usually have frozen fruit on hand and it really satisfies me. When i need a chocolate fix I like to have a dark chocolate orange slice. I let it melt in my mouth and that has been good. For the salty stuff, a few tortilla chips with homemade salsa is good. Also peanuts and almonds do the trick now. It did take a LOT of conscious effort to control the amount, but if you measure everything out and put your mind to it and then get on here and chat it can become a habit that you will enjoy. Sometimes I think it would be handy to have someone to literally talk to and wondered about finding someone on the same cell phone carrier so it would be free. Might be an idea to throw around.

don't give up!! We've all been there and most of us have to fight the monster regularly. It does get easier, but it is also easy to fall back to old habits if a plan isn't well entrenched. I don't have a supportive family so I rely heavily on the boards here. Keep up the great work!! You've lost more than me!!! emoticon emoticon

Which came first, the tornado or the travel trailer??


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DORAE_MONTY's Photo DORAE_MONTY SparkPoints: (0)
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3/15/12 1:32 A

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Hi everyone.
I'm on spark for 2-3 weeks now, but I haven't really been "good" for the past weeks. I was eating healthy for a few days, then I felt some stress at school and I decided to indulge myself a little bit to make me feel better. But we all know for emotional eaters, there's never a little bit. I ended up eating a whole lot for more than a week. I was surprised that I still lost weight despite of all that. It was probably that even though I still binged, I ate less food than I used to. It's so frustrating every time I feel the urge to binge, and even when I decide to binge, food doesn't even test as good as I imagine it would be, but I still eat anyway. I don't know what to do anymore. I try to stick to tracking even though I go over calorie limit (previously, I would stop tracking food for the days that I binged because it was too scary to even think about how many calories I ate already). I now see that some days, I feel less appetite and I ate less than minimum calorie range, then the next day I would want to eat a lot and it ended up going a lot over my calorie limit. So now on days that I don't really feel that urge to eat, I still force myself to eat something to at least meet the calorie minimum and not binge the next day.

Now it's still difficult because I usually don't feel hungry or have strong appetite for anything until the evening. I tried eating what I really want for dinner and giving dinner more calorie limit to prevent myself from eating at night. But I wouldn't feel like eating anything (I can't even force myself to eat more fruits to stuff me up), but a few hours later, I would get so hungry that I binged on bad food. I don't know what to do about this. I don't want to get completely off track again. Anybody has similar problem?

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MAEVEN1's Photo MAEVEN1 Posts: 209
3/9/12 12:25 P

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That is awesome!

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CD11377295 Posts: 683
3/3/12 9:39 P

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I'm feeling soooo much better. I love this team!
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CD11377295 Posts: 683
2/25/12 6:09 P

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Thanks so much maeven1
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MAEVEN1's Photo MAEVEN1 Posts: 209
2/24/12 11:58 A

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SPIRAL4548, I'm so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. The best thing you can do is release the emotions that are inside. Cry, write, deep breathing, walk. You will get through this. Time will heal. In the mean time, find success in the small things to get you through this. If getting out of bed is hard, then get out of bed and be PROUD of yourself. By setting small goals and accomplishing them you will feel a little better and stronger.

As far as why people betray us, there is not one answer. Just know that you are worth so much more than to be with someone who did not treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve to be loved, cherished, and treated like a queen. That person is out there.

Keep your head up, acknowledge your feelings and deal with the ones that need action to be taken (ie a good cry is a great way to release pain), and know that you are a lovable.

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CD11377295 Posts: 683
2/19/12 11:06 A

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I woke up anxious and depressed. It's been going on for a week. How long does heart break last? My friends don't want to hear about it or him anymore because they feel I've had enough time to grieve. But the truth is, I still am crushed. He broke my heart after I gave all of me. My self esteem plummeted and although I've made progress, I still feel empty, unloved, and alone. My whole life seems strange to me now.

I'm glad I can vent here. I want to cry. I wish things between me and him turned out differently, but they didn't. He was my husband and someone I trusted fully. How could he have done this to me. He was the love of my life. What do men want anyway. He was a black hole who I couldn't fill. Always needing more and more. I feel like a failure. I'm lost and lonely. Maybe I'll go for a walk and cry there for a bit. I can't keep being brave and holding it in.

Thanks for listening.

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2/17/12 10:21 P

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I have not been around for a long time. I haven't gained a tremendous amount of weight back (10 pounds) but night time eating is such a problem for me no matter what I do. I work 10 hours a day four days a week and it is a fairly stressful job. My husband deals with several several serious illnesses so I feel responsible for finances and have to do most all the housework too. I suffer with chronic pain so just working and cleaning the house is about all I can do. To add to it I am now Pre-diabetic and so losing weight is now a health crisis. I tend to worry too much and so it leads to eating to feel better. I know all the things I should be doing but somehow I am just too tired to do them. If not too tired physically, too tired emotionally. Monday was the 6th anniversary of my twins death and even though I am doing better than in the past I am dragging.
xxxKAREN1968xx- I know exactly how you feel. I am a night owl no matter if I lose sleep over it. LOL, I won't even ask where you got choc biscuits. Instead of my son, it's my husband. He just had to buy a bag of Frito's today. I only ate a handful (so far) but in my mind I could see the points flying off the scale.
I follow the Weight Watcher's point system and tomorrow is day 1 for me. This week is going to be better!!

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XXKAREN1968XX SparkPoints: (0)
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2/16/12 7:53 P

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i cannt believe it my diet went fantastic today and i did my workout etc, it was all great, then my son got a big bag of chilli doritos out of the cupboard and guess what i ate over half a bag i just couldnt stop and then i ate 3 choc biscuits....... i just cant believe i just did that. I should have gone to bed earlier then i wouldnt have ate them.... thats what i get for staying up after 1 am..... never mind tomorrow is another day plus there is no more naughty snacks left in the house and i wont bbe buying any.....

you haven't got to do it, you get to do it!!!


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ADIANESCH's Photo ADIANESCH Posts: 23
2/16/12 1:47 P

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I am so glad there is a safe place on here to vent! I am quite the emotional eater and am having some really stressful things come up at work and such and I am SOOOOO hungry. I purchased a $5 turkey and ham subway footlong (cause it was cheaper) and splurged on some Baked Lays. I only ate half of it the footlong, but and still just starving. Icky day, mean people in the press, clutter all over the place, forgetting things, and my hubby is being a jerk! That second half is calling me, but it will add to my calories for the day-- it's only 1:45!! Argh. Just trying to stay away from my boss' little box full of chocolate too!

I work in PR and I have lots of demands on me currently, many balls in the air and I just can't keep up no matter how hard I try.

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MAEVEN1's Photo MAEVEN1 Posts: 209
2/14/12 12:34 A

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Thank you Catchrista50. I really appreciate it. I've been there with friends too. What your friend did was really mean. Surrounding yourself with friends and family who are kind to you is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. You deserve it. emoticon

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CATCHRISTA50's Photo CATCHRISTA50 Posts: 2,273
2/14/12 12:18 A

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Maeven1, I'm sorry that you got hurt. That would be quit a shocker to be told a leader thought the group was lame. That would hurt my feelings too. I just recently let a friend (I say that lightly) back into my life, and it was a mistake. She was always one who wanted the gossip and then ran with it. After years of not living around each other, I found she had gotten remarried to a Baptist minister. Now she is a pastors wife. She found me on facebook and we became friends again, but I didn't really say much. Just a comment now and then. She got wind of the problems I was having at home, but didn't know what they were. For 2 years she told me to call her. Sent me her phone number and told me that she ministered to people in their congregation all the time. I wasn't sure, but I decided one day that I really needed to talk to someone, and so I called her. After about 15 minutes where she got just a few details, she said she had to go, but could she call me back the next afternoon and we would have a good talk. I've never heard from her again. She got the gossip and that's all she wanted. I feel like a fool. I will never ever call her again. I will continue to leave her as a FB friend, but I will never confide in her again. It hurts. Why do people have to be so hurtful. It's beyond me. But, on the brighter side, I have so many really good friends and a super wonderful family. So I have all I need. So just remind yourself of what you do have, it's their loss. You seem like a very nice person. So when you need to vent away. That part of why we're here. For support. Have a blessed day.

A snowflake by itself is a very fragile thing, but look what happens when they stick together.

FAITH is more CAUGHT than TAUGHT.

. ;.�.♥ �.���.�*
�.*Christa� ♥.�
♥ .�*�-:�:♥-. ;.�.



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MAEVEN1's Photo MAEVEN1 Posts: 209
2/11/12 11:05 P

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I have been emotionally eating for two days. Yesterday I had two people that were in my life in one way or another leave. I feel hurt and mad that they did this. One of them, who was a leader, actually sent myself and others an email that in a round about way said that she is leaving because she feels that everyone was lame. I spent yesterday in shock, and I tried to pretend that everything was ok. I need to learn to be ok with feeling mad that other people hurt me instead of pretending that everything is fine. Stuffing down those feelings is what leads me to eat when I'm not physically hungry. Thank you for letting me vent.

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SUNNY1432's Photo SUNNY1432 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/8/12 8:48 P

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I CAN'T seem to stop eating when I'm not hungry. I'm not happy and I want to lose weight, but after 4 p.m. I seem to munch on everything in sight. The worst part is I know what I'm doing wrong and why I'm not losing but I can't seem to get it together. Every day I tell myself I'll be good and won't snack and I end up failing. Another crazy part is that I overall stay in my range! I just don't know what to do, if it wasn't for my good cardio habit I would be definitely be gaining! ARGH!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent emoticon

"The only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible."
Arthur C. Clarke

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit."
Aristotle


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FIVEFOOTZERO's Photo FIVEFOOTZERO Posts: 7
2/3/12 8:21 P

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Today I found out my alcoholic sister, who went missing 3 days ago, is in jail one county over. She just got out of treatment (aka "rehab") a week and a half ago. It was one of many, many attempts at treatment. Obviously it was unsuccessful. She has court coming up for 2 different DUI's in 2 different states that happened 3 days apart. I don't know why she's in jail now but I'm guessing yet another DUI. Everybody expects me to know what's going on with her and what to do about her. On top of all the craziness, I've had a stressful week at work. I eat when I'm stressed. This is not a good week for me. To counter the emotional eating I am exercising... because I can't stop being hungry. :(

Edited by: FIVEFOOTZERO at: 2/3/2012 (20:24)
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CD1199018 Posts: 197
1/31/12 2:21 P

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i'm trying to tell myself that i've done it before (lost weight), so i KNOW i can do it again. and this time, i've got exercise on my side. i have joined the local Y, and have a great group of galpals to work out with.

my demons come to get me in the afternoons when i get home from work and want to snack. and in the evenings, when i'm watching tv.i know the key is distraction, but once the thought of a luna bar (or four) or the entire jar of peanut butter drizzled with honey pops into my head, it takes over. i try to fight back with all the affirmations i can think of - "think of how horrible you're going to feel after you eat that" - but it's weak ammunition. waiting 10 minutes, drinking water, ironing ... nothing works.

the only thing that truly works for me is shedding the pounds. once i start seeing the scale go down and my clothes fitting better, THAT'S when the motivation kicks in. but getting there? yeah, it's a mini-hell.

TFL ... emoticon

CATCHRISTA50's Photo CATCHRISTA50 Posts: 2,273
1/29/12 9:51 P

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It's been so long since I've been on SP. I was part of the group a few years ago, and now I'd like to come back. I have had a lot of stess in my life in the past 6 years, and thought at times things were getting better, then poof, it would all fall apart. The day after Christmas, we had to tough love our son. It was and still is one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. But, I know in my heart it was and is the right thing. However, I eat when I'm stressed, so I have gained most of the weight back that I worked so hard at loosing. Now that I have put most of that stress out of our house, I am back here to take care of me. It's going to be a long hard road, and I know there are going to be some really rough roads ahead, but I'm going to get through this. I have great friends and a lot of love from my family, and a husband that adores me and supports me and my faith is strong. All in all, I am blessed. I just have to keep reminding myself. Nice to be back.

A snowflake by itself is a very fragile thing, but look what happens when they stick together.

FAITH is more CAUGHT than TAUGHT.

. ;.�.♥ �.���.�*
�.*Christa� ♥.�
♥ .�*�-:�:♥-. ;.�.



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LOVETOLAUGH56's Photo LOVETOLAUGH56 Posts: 1,885
1/25/12 9:38 P

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I look to food for comfort. It works for about 15 to 30 minutes, but then I realize again that I'm looking in the wrong direction. There are many problems here in our household. Problems in my marriage and with the kids. So I eat, and eat.
I need to refocuss on health and not my emotional pain.
Karen


Karen, Florida, USA, Central time
Phil 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength"





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CD6091154 Posts: 88
1/24/12 5:46 P

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I am a binge eater. I am even worse when I am stressed. If I am bored I do the same thing. If you leave me alone I go to food. I feel awful. I am not comfortable in my own skin anymore. About 3 years ago I lost 100 pounds. I have pretty much kept it off. But I am yo yoing like you would not believe. I just don't know why I do this to myself. I need to get healthy. I need to stop doing this to myself.



OMAHAMAMA's Photo OMAHAMAMA SparkPoints: (0)
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1/24/12 12:04 A

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Today is my 8th wedding anniversary. I haven't even spoken two sentences to my husband. Yesterday after a small weekend celebration, we got into ANOTHER argument over the kids and I ended up home alone with them for the whole evening. Likewise I ended up punishing myself with food - eating leftovers and a huge piece of cake until it hurt. Literally laying on the couch in pain from overeating. Binge much? I

Did better today but I am so F#CK'D in the head when it comes to stress eating. I am even aware of it now but in the moment there seems to be no way to stop. Once the thought of eating is in my head - it's a free for all. H.A.T.E. I.T.!!

I am SO angry!

Today was a difficult day. Tomorrow will be better
― Kevin Henkes, Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/122334
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FAT_2_FAB's Photo FAT_2_FAB Posts: 523
1/9/12 1:00 P

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Ugh, I'm just having an emotional day, period. I have so much on my heart and mind and I just feel trapped because I don't have any close friends or family that I can talk to. I've been an emotional roller coaster all day. :( It's so hard to stay focused and motivated when you feel like no one cares what you're trying to accomplish or that you need support and encouragement. If you believe in prayer, pray for me, please.

You can feel sore tomorrow, or you can feel sorry tomorrow. You choose. :)
AHNAZEE's Photo AHNAZEE Posts: 254
1/9/12 10:23 A

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I just need to vent.
I am feeling so.....(angry, disgusted, discouraged) unhappy right now. I was doing so well for two months, and then a few Christmas cookies on Dec. 23rd sent me on the road back to where I came from. I had not been perfect during the time before, I had practice in making mistakes and getting right back to it... I would like to figure out why I'm struggling right now...
I'm thinking about OA. I already go to NA meetings: I've been clean from drugs for almost two years and maybe the distance is affecting my judgment, but I'm starting to feel like overeating is a harder habit to kick!
Getting healthier is a part of my recovery for me. It's like quitting smoking cigarettes and quitting going to the tanning bed - once I decided to live without dope (which is simply deciding to live period), I realized I wanted to do that living comfortably, which means healthy.
I am trying to not give in to the 'all-or-nothing' addict thinking. I've withdrawn from this website a little over the past couple weeks and I recognize this behavior. I feel silly admitting how important SP is to me, but o well.
I know part of what's going on is an issue of balance....I know it's one day at a time....
BUT I WANT WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT IT, DANGIT!!!!!!!!

okay, I feel a little better. Thanks.

begin anywhere


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JENNIFER994's Photo JENNIFER994 Posts: 1,595
12/29/11 7:18 P

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Zumbamama: what really helps me, is to have something to do with my hands: jigsaw puzzles, knitting weaving, needlepoint, etc.



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JENNIFER994's Photo JENNIFER994 Posts: 1,595
12/29/11 6:58 P

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Alex I can relate to having a husband who doesn't want us to change and grow. I sometimes think it is because my husband is afraid I'll get bored with him, and leave and find someone else. I too have a very hard time dealing with my emotions in a healthy way, because I was taught growing up not to have or express emotions. Of course, that impossible, so then I ended up with a large reservoir of repressed emotions. This is a setup for addiction, etc. I believe I'm addicted to food to deal with my emotions. I've been abstinent from overeating for 11 days, and am very grateful for that. OA is really helping me.



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CD11286797 SparkPoints: (0)
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12/21/11 7:07 A

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I need a safe place to vent. I have finally made a life changing decision not to eat on my emotions, and boy am I feeling them. I am finally, after 43 years am taking care of myself and giving myself the love and attention that I had always sought outside of myself-from other people, from other things etc. and I realized that it all starts right here inside of me. I don't just get that now 'intellectually' but I get it at the heart level, which is where this needs to be-in order to change. I had a fight with my husband last night for the first time in maybe 2 years..all because I felt that he was trying to make changes of me, and it went against what I stand for. It is o.k for him to not have to work on himself, but not o.k. for me to grow and develop into the person that I was meant to be. Can you say, problem, anyone? I woke up this morning angry and feeling like the issue was unresolved, but I didn't eat on it last night. Which is a minor miracle in my case. I am rambling but if any of you can relate to this, please let me know. Alex emoticon

CHOCOHOLIC2276's Photo CHOCOHOLIC2276 Posts: 7,956
12/15/11 3:09 P

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Zumbamama- how about leaving a good bulk of your daily calories for dinner time? You can have a hearty meal or snacks but still fit them into your daily calorie range.

Tania
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ZUMBAMAMMA3's Photo ZUMBAMAMMA3 Posts: 603
12/15/11 7:08 A

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it's been rough i keep calories in check untill the evening then anxiety and boredom set in then i just eat any ideas?

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SPARKLINGDAWN's Photo SPARKLINGDAWN Posts: 353
12/11/11 8:36 P

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HAWTHLIKEME. I was thinking about your question and hurt feelings regarding the father and the 10 minutes too late thing.
If I was to confront him (and maybe I would, maybe not) ....I think that I would run it like:

"In the future we need to set up some ground rules here,: It is important for me to understand what rules there is in your house. Apparently there was I deadline I did not know about. That was unfortunate and I wonder why it was not a priority to let me know about this ahead of time?
Now I would like to know what other rules I might get entangled into unknowingly. Are there any rules regarding food, what to eat, what not to eat/serve for your children, bedtime if they are sleeping out during the weekend, anthing else I should know about?

Your way of addressing me the other evening shocked me and I did not appreciate the tone you were adressing me in. The children seem to have great pleasure being together , and I am willing to do my part for us to not end up in such a situation again, but that must include that you are willing to share what rules and expectations there is in your family.......



I would try to get a "set of rules" out of the guy, because then at a later time it is easier to navigate and easier to say "Oh yet ANOTHER rule you have not bothered informing me about". That is a short sentence that can be practiced in advance and be kept handy in the need should ever come.
And with these preparations - the need normally never arises
I would be focused on not risking that he blames the kid for not having told you about the come home time

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Be aware of your thoughts
because they become words

Be aware of your words
because they become attitude

Be aware of your attitude
because that becomes action

Be aware of your actions
because they become habits

Be aware of your habits
because they become character

Be aware of your character
because that becomes destiny

Your thoughts becomes your destiny


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SUGARSMOM2 SparkPoints: (296,807)
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12/11/11 5:39 P

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Hi everybody . Hope you are all doing well . Life gives us many challenges . we can overcome all of them . we are here with friends and with friendship we can be a success .

sugarsmom2 donna wva


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GOOSIEMOON's Photo GOOSIEMOON SparkPoints: (252,697)
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12/9/11 12:50 P

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Hi everyone -

I'm just checking in to say hi and that I hope you're all finding satisfying things in each of your days.

I'm back from vacation and back to my workouts (whew! I was confident that I would come back strong, but the proof is in the pudding, as they say)

Have a good day!

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."

~ Earl Nightingale


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CHOCOHOLIC2276's Photo CHOCOHOLIC2276 Posts: 7,956
12/9/11 12:11 P

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I usually love this time of year but right now it is just hilighting how alone I am. I hate feeling this way. It is how I feel though.

I look at my weight loss and feel exhausted. I don't want to put in the effort anymore. I don't want to struggle and push and dig deep for motivation. What is the point?

What is the point of anything? You work hard, you try to be a good person, what is the point? At the end of the day whether you exist or not, it doesn't make a difference.

Tania
VA-EST
BLC 40-44-Azure Destinations-Captain


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CANBDONE's Photo CANBDONE Posts: 5,274
11/12/11 5:30 P

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Sending out prayers and good vibes to everyone this evening. I've been food sober for 4 days. The nights are the hardest to get through. Just have to white-knuckle it sometimes. Then at other times....all is calm! This is not an easy battle we wage... emoticon I'm working on releasing the 50 pounds I gained after my Beloved husband was called Home two years ago. We adored each other and were blissfully happy. He had cardiac arrest while taking his morning bicycle ride. We'll be together again as we're both Believers. The doctor offered me antidepressants two weeks after he left...I refused them. Perhaps that was a mistake...but I've given myself permission to release 32 pounds, so I'm headed in the right direction. Stay strong, my Sparkies!

Temptation is not a sin, it's a call to battle! Terri from Georgia
Joyful Hawk

"Never give up! Never give up! Never, never, never give up!" Winston
Churchill

"I am the boss of this body! "(Alice_BlueEyes)

"The only one who can defeat me is me. And I know I can take her!"
(KEAKMAN)

"No give ups....just get ups!" (ME)



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UCAGIRL2010's Photo UCAGIRL2010 SparkPoints: (0)
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11/9/11 3:05 P

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AMYSAL1,
First off, WOW!! I don't know how you do it. I commend you for having time to consider weight loss as a priority. I complain about being in college and not having enough time, but you have much more on your plate than most people.

Second, I can see why it seems like your kids don't notice or appreciate your efforts. However, I doubt that is true. I lost my mom when I was 15, and I can honestly say she left a hole that no one else could ever fill. Your presence means much more to them than you will ever know. Just remember that they will be out living their own lives some day, and you will miss all the crazy things they used to do at home.

But for now, just know that you are already an incredibly strong person and you can handle this! Breaking down and showing that you need help is difficult. I struggle with feeling needy as well. But I can honestly say it does help to talk about it and hear a new perspective. Your concerns and worries are valid, and it does not make you a bad mom to want to get away from your kids for awhile. Well, I've rambled on quite a bit now, but I just wanted to say don't give up because you are an inspiration!

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14



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UCAGIRL2010's Photo UCAGIRL2010 SparkPoints: (0)
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11/9/11 2:50 P

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I'm in college, and my main struggle is stress eating. I have a 15 page short story, a 4 page paper, 2 oral presentations, and several various homework assignments due before finals, and I'm feeling overwhelmed. I crave junk food late at night when I'm working, and I caved last night and ate some chips and a granola bar. I know it's not the end of the world, but it's still frustrating. I'm having a lot of trouble with self-control.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." Psalm 139:14



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ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,794
11/2/11 5:32 A

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I have been sick and still am with it. I have also been tired , busy, overwhelmed and frustrated. Most of the days have been binge days. I have not binged for a few days, but yesterday there has been an indecent on campus as well as an issue with my grandmother. My campus is not in a bad neighborhood, but there was a guy that the university police caught and he came on campus with a gun in his hand. My grandmother is taking off and yelling at my step-dad. Some people did not call the police, but they had to bring her back home and thought that we must be neglecting her.


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ATRAIA's Photo ATRAIA Posts: 92
11/1/11 2:21 P

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Doesn't sound to me like you're being needy at all. Four kids? That is a LOT to handle. I have a dog, and she seems like enough of a handful to me! You really sound like a champ to handle all that on a daily basis.

Not sure what you can do to keep from letting your goals slip by. You've already got your plate full--any chance someone can help you out?

Keep going though--you sound like an amazing person. And just think of what an amazing example you are setting for your kids!

May the Force be with you--
Amanda


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AMYSAL1's Photo AMYSAL1 Posts: 49
10/27/11 8:33 A

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I've never been one to tell others how I feel. I've never wanted to be "that" person that everyone dreads being around because I'm so needy. But I haven't been doing well these last two days and I need help. So here goes.

I feel like I'm walking through tar. I just can't get going. Yes, I do struggle with depression and am medicated. I meet with a counselor too. I'm not beating myself up or getting swept away with negative self-talk (although it is a place with which I am very familiar). I'm just really beaten down by life. I'm so tired of well-doing. From the time I open my eyes, I'm busy with my house and my family. I love them all. They are fantastic and I'm not complaining about them, but I'm weary to my bones from the care and keeping of them. I have 4 kids from 3-18. I'm 42 and just too old for this. Too old for youngsters. I can't keep up. They undo all my hard work. I feel like its for naught. I know my husband appreciates me, but I feel somewhat unnoticed by my kids. Oh its noticed if I'm not available to do whatever it is that they want done or need. I feel like I'm becoming resentful. I broke down to my husband on Sunday night and through the sobs, actually told him that I didn't want to be their mom anymore (not really true, but a very, very weak moment. My 3 year old had just flooded the entire bathroom by plugging the sink and turning on the water. She just forgot to turn it off.). Ok. Even more guilt than I usual carry. Really, these are great kids. And I'm guessing (hoping), pretty normal kids.

Luckily, I haven't felt driven to eat or imbibe like I usually do. I've stayed on track. Yesterday is the first day that I haven't meet all my other goals. Something had to give and unfortunately, those had to go. I don't want it to become a pattern though!!!!

I need some encouragement for today. Wow. I'm not use to making my needs known. I. Need. Encouragement. Please help, if you feel so inclined. It will be so very appreciated. Thank you my EE friends. Eek! I'm pushing the post button!

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ATRAIA's Photo ATRAIA Posts: 92
10/26/11 8:22 P

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Hey all. Food is also my frienemy. It's always there for you when you think you need it, but it certainly doesn't treat you with respect. I know I have a strong tendency to binge eat when bored, stressed, or sad. There are some locations even that I am so trained to respond to with food that I feel the urge to eat even if I've just finished a meal.

Locations like that I avoid, and I tend to substitute things like mints when I feel the urge to nosh and am not hungry. It's really just a temporary measure, a bandage on the larger hurt, but quite frankly I'm not sure how to tackle the real problem.

May the Force be with you--
Amanda


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CD11190499 SparkPoints: (0)
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10/26/11 5:15 P

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Hi everyone my name is Cheri and food has always been my friend when it comes to any emotion whether it be happy sad, overwhelmed, or even angry. Just hoping that I can learn to enjoy other things when I am feeling any of these emotions. Glad that I could be a part of a group that deals with this issue.

NEW_ME_FOREVER's Photo NEW_ME_FOREVER Posts: 5,589
10/26/11 11:26 A

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My new blog express my feelings

~Key~


Proud Team Leader and member of Fall into Shape Challenge
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=46273


Nashville Flood Relief Group Spark team

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=42755





COOKI3123's Photo COOKI3123 Posts: 2,762
10/25/11 1:53 P

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Good Evening Everyone just popping in to say Hi!

COOK (Joy)
Marathon 130.3 miles as of 8/24/11
BLC16 MEMBER
BLC 17 MEMBER
BLC 18 MEMBER
BLC 19 MEMBER
BLC 20 - COURAGEOUS COUGARS

2012 GOALS:
120 mins. day exercise-5 days wk.

A marathon by 12/31/12
Fire my best friend - "FOOD"


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AMYSAL1's Photo AMYSAL1 Posts: 49
10/25/11 8:02 A

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Onicam- How are you doing? I was reading through these posts and noticed that there hasn't been an update since your last post. I don't know you, yet I am worried for you. Life can be so overwhelming sometimes. I know this is a personal question and I don't expect you to answer it, but have you considered meds? I know that I can't function without them. Like you, I also deal with depression and anxiety attacks. I can't handle/process stress well at all. Please let me know how you are. Hey- it IS going to be OK. This is just a season. There is hope and light in the darkness. Keep logging in to SP. Keep telling us how you feel. You WILL get through this. emoticon emoticon

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COOKI3123's Photo COOKI3123 Posts: 2,762
10/22/11 9:43 P

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MANDIE2011 - I know it does not seem like it now but "this too shall pass" ! hang in there, don't go for the Ice Cream but it's ok to cry sometimes...reach out to your Spark Friends. Take care of yourself.
Cook

COOK (Joy)
Marathon 130.3 miles as of 8/24/11
BLC16 MEMBER
BLC 17 MEMBER
BLC 18 MEMBER
BLC 19 MEMBER
BLC 20 - COURAGEOUS COUGARS

2012 GOALS:
120 mins. day exercise-5 days wk.

A marathon by 12/31/12
Fire my best friend - "FOOD"


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CD11083075 SparkPoints: (0)
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Posts: 80
10/22/11 11:44 A

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Sometimes I feel like I picked a bad time to try to lose weight. I should wait for things to settle down around me. But realisitcally, that may never happen, so I have to do it now.

My children and I left a violent situation 2 years ago. Of course I have good days and bad days. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and there are different activities going on at my college and I've been hearing a lot of people speak of their experiences and it has brought a lot of emotion back. I spend my days thinking about it and having flash backs and playing the "What if?" game. It's really hard to stay on program when I want to cry, hide and eat ice cream.

HAWTLIKEME's Photo HAWTLIKEME SparkPoints: (21,830)
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10/18/11 3:53 P

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ONICAM, have you found anything that works to help you through your anxiety and depression? Are you able to sleep? Better sleep, regular excercise, fresh air and deep breathing seem to help me when it's not too severe.

emoticon

Though we cannot control the winds, we can adjust the sails.

Vic



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ONICAM's Photo ONICAM Posts: 11,794
10/15/11 2:17 P

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I am with a lot of anxiety right now.

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