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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/24/12 8:39 A

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Hi CarolIan. So glad to hear that the op went well. We will keep our fingers crossed that it goes well in the fulture. You are in my prayers and thoughts.

You might try the Chat Line for further messages.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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CAROLIAN's Photo CAROLIAN SparkPoints: (0)
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7/24/12 2:53 A

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Ian has now had his op and the gland of his penis removed he has recovered better that i thought he would.The consultant is quite sure they got it all he went last week for a scan of the lymph nodes in his groin they said this was clear but they are going to identify the ones atttatched to the penile area and remove them which is a 24hr in hospital job this will be done in early Aug as we are having a 10 day break away from home staying near some friends in Kings Lynn so Ian can go train spotting with Tom and I can go charity shop hopping with Mike and Rosey.
We drove down yesterday and made a few stops on the way so Ian could walk about and relieve we visited a craft supply shop where Ian kept trying to get me to get stuff i didnt need.
Then we stopped off st thid big rosdside place which has a fruit veg dept cafe garden centre the fruit and veg are straaight from the fields so are really fresh.
I did give in and have a mug of tea and a scone the scone was delicious the tea was so strong i didnt like it.
After booking in the hotel we went to a bbq at mike and roseys then back to the hotel is is over 26 degrees down here it was only 14 an wet when we left home.
Luckily i brought the sun tan lotion with me and the mosqito repelent.
Ian has just got up he slept right through last night.Thank you to all who are supporting us through al this I love YOU All emoticon

My name is Carol I live in UK Leader of DISABLED/FIBROMYALGIA & MORE
Northern English Lassess
Northwest England
Co Leader Fibro Friends
Fighting Fibromyalgia
FMS support


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SWDESERTLOVER's Photo SWDESERTLOVER Posts: 3,017
5/22/12 10:14 A

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Hi Carol. I am so sorry you and your friend are going through this. I agree completely with Dianne. Everybody does react differently in the beginning. He is probably still reeling from the news (as are you) and it will take him some time to accept that this is happening to him. When my husband was first diagnosed, he was very depressed (as could be expected). It took him several weeks to really accept that he has cancer. Tears are normal and there were a lot in the beginning, and there still are some from time to time. But in time, my husband went from being depressed and despondent to returning to his life and vowing to fight this disease.

Still, there will be good days and bad, but you will find a strength in yourself that you never knew you had. Give him time to deal with his feelings and just let him know that you are always there for him to help him and listen if/when he wants to talk about it. You also need some time to deal with your own emotions also. Be sure you take care of yourself through all of this.

Keeping you both in my prayers.
emoticon

Edited by: SWDESERTLOVER at: 5/22/2012 (10:14)
Cindy
"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing views. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."
Edward Abbey
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ENNAID11's Photo ENNAID11 SparkPoints: (0)
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5/13/12 9:13 A

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Hi Carol, because the news is so recent, let him deal with it his way. Once he has accepted the diagnoses he may again need you. Each person deals with it differently. Have you heard of the 7 stages of grieving? Look it up on the internet. It will help you understand what you and Ian are going through. Best of luck.

Dianne

HOPE is not pretending that there's never any sorrow - It's the knowledge that our troubles will be overcome tomorrow. It's the inner strength we call on to sustain us now and then, till our problems lie behind us and we are happy again


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CAROLIAN's Photo CAROLIAN SparkPoints: (0)
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5/13/12 5:58 A

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My best friend and soulmate Ian was diagnosed with penile cancer on Wednesday.He had been in for a circumcissiom 6 weeks ago and we were told the news on the follow up appointment.His consultant has refered him to Christies in Manchester. Ian has been my carer and best friend for 13yr.Today he has locked himself away hasnt eaten anything and won't even look at me. I feel so helpless.
My name is Carol im am 57 divorced twice have health problems mobility problems and so frightened I am going to lose my Best friend gthat he will just give up or do something stupid.Not only that i have his parents to support and at this moment I Don't know what to do.
I lost my dad to cancer 20yr ago then my grandma his mother 2yr later.Ian has just lost an uncle and several other family members over the last 10 yr he is so negative at the moment.I just don't know what i can do except be there for him and be strong.If i need to cry i do it in my room at night.

Sorry i just cant get my head around it all. emoticon

My name is Carol I live in UK Leader of DISABLED/FIBROMYALGIA & MORE
Northern English Lassess
Northwest England
Co Leader Fibro Friends
Fighting Fibromyalgia
FMS support


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