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GARDENSFORLIFE's Photo GARDENSFORLIFE Posts: 46,490
6/1/19 11:11 P

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Hope everyone has a great week!

Have a great week!



"... my God is the rock of my refuge."
Psalm 94:22

"Peace begins with a smile.."
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ANOTHERCATLADY's Photo ANOTHERCATLADY Posts: 11
11/19/17 9:35 P

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Thank you - I'll look into that! Having someone to drop by just as a friend during the week would be a big help!

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GRANDMAKARENG's Photo GRANDMAKARENG SparkPoints: (90,731)
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11/19/17 1:40 P

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It is hard for some people to accept help. Years ago, I worked for the Council on Aging. I went into the homes to help the elderly. Sometimes I would sit & talk as a friend before they would allow me to help with chores. Would your mom be willing to accept occasional help through an Aging agency?

Ohio


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ANOTHERCATLADY's Photo ANOTHERCATLADY Posts: 11
11/18/17 7:19 P

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My Mom thinks she can do things herself with just "a little" assistance from her kids. I think her problem is that she was too embarrassed to tell the caregiver we had set up for her to do those things she used to do for herself.

Her congestive heart failure is really progressing rapidly (her lower extremities are very swollen even though she's good about keeping them elevated). I've had two friends pass away from this disease, based on her condition, she's got less than a year left. It's not a bad way to pass - in both those instances with my friends, they just were puttering away doing something in the kitchen and died in their tracks.

Anyway, it really helps me just to post on your site. Reading about your experiences make me stronger and less inclined to self-pity. God bless you all!

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GRANDMAKARENG's Photo GRANDMAKARENG SparkPoints: (90,731)
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11/14/17 11:54 A

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I will try to remember to ask the STNA's about the sun downers problem. I no longer work at the nursing home but still visit the memory care residents. Today, my friend will do his music presentation so I will go to visit & join in on the fun.

It is too bad your mom is resisting the help. Does she want family to do it or does she think help is not needed?

Ohio


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ANOTHERCATLADY's Photo ANOTHERCATLADY Posts: 11
11/14/17 6:56 A

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We finally found Dad an excellent board and care but am having to supplement it with an over-night caregiver because he tries to escape and gets belligerent at night. Mom is alone at the house stressing over the cost of it all. None of us are comfortable about Mom living alone with her health problems but she's adamant. We set her up with a really great caregiver who came by to help with the meals, light housework, and run errands, and she dismissed her.

If anyone knows a good fix for sundowner's syndrome - please tell! Dad's heart condition make it difficult to prescribe the usual anti-psychotics to help with it, though at this point, it might be more merciful to prescribe them anyway. Dad's physically wasting away even though he eats and can still swallow okay.

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11/13/17 10:56 P

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Oh my.. Are they still at home? That is a lot to deal with. I am glad you have other family to support your parents through this difficult time.

Take care of yourself,too.

Ohio


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ANOTHERCATLADY's Photo ANOTHERCATLADY Posts: 11
11/13/17 9:48 P

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Hello. This summer, my parents stopped being able to support themselves - one rapidly declined to stage 6 Alzheimer's and the other has congestive heart failure. It's been non-stop falls, doctors, strokes, seizures, hospitalizations, paramedics, transitional rehab centers, board & cares, memory care units, UTIs, and denial since Aug. 1.

I don't know how you guys do it - I'm very blessed to have my sister, sister-in-law, and brother helping me with my Mom and Dad, and it is still more than I can take. It's like I can't go three seconds without worrying about one or the other of them.

I also have a severe weight problem that I can't ignore anymore. Thanks for listening.

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10/28/16 3:23 P

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Ivanka... You mentioned you spend a great deal of time at your parents home. If some of that time is free time would you be able to look at cookbooks to find recipes that are healthy that you might want to try? Also, I found that music is great for those with dementia & a stress reliever for all of us.

Ohio


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GARDENSFORLIFE's Photo GARDENSFORLIFE Posts: 46,490
10/27/16 8:04 P

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I have use the app when I did not have my laptop with me. At the top of the Spark Page( right hand side of page) there is an icon for apps. It has a lot of apps and info. Look at it to see if you can find the info you need.
Sending you a big hug!

Edited by: GARDENSFORLIFE at: 10/27/2016 (20:11)


"... my God is the rock of my refuge."
Psalm 94:22

"Peace begins with a smile.."
Mother Teresa

Fall Seven Times
Stand Up Eight
Japanese Proverb

Fruit, Grains and Veggies Oh My!-Leader

Dash Plan for Hypertension-Leader

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10/27/16 5:53 P

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Do you have Start & My Trackers on the top left side?

Ohio


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ELONKA1's Photo ELONKA1 Posts: 390
10/27/16 5:41 P

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I have trouble using the mobile app at my parents' hosue. they do not have the interent so I use only my smartphone. Where do I learn more about how to use this app?

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10/27/16 5:37 P

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Hi Evonka
You really have your hands full. I hope the Spark teams will give you support. Can you get on line while you are at their home? I found that using the nutrition tracker really helped me. You must live in the eastern part of USA. I am from Ohio & it is starting to get cooler here.

I like that you said "introducing some caregivers", I worked for Council on Aging many years ago. I remember some of my clients were really hesitant about having a stranger come into their home to clean, etc. Most of them warmed up to me & I think I became a welcome sight to most of them, even like a friend.

Don't feel guilty about taking time for yourself. This may be the beginning of a long journey.

Karen

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ELONKA1's Photo ELONKA1 Posts: 390
10/27/16 3:41 P

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Hello. I am caring for both of my parents who are living in their own home. Other siblings helpingthem also. Introducing some home caregiver support one day a week to give sibling s a break, especailly with own health issues and vacations etc. Mother with arthritis and pain walking thinks she should be taking care of dad who has dementia and COPD herself. And that the kids "should sacrifice" and do it all to help her and dad, not hire any "outside" help. I spend 2-3 nighst and at leasxt two full days per week with my parents. I find myself eating for "comfor"t in the evening when I finally get them both to bed. Tried to take one hour walks by myself when weather was warmer. Now my dad has breathing treatments 6 times a day and needsmore supervision so I find myself supervising him, some cooking, laundry and basic housework but no exercise routine when I'm there. Any suggestions to keep on a good healthy lifestyle while I'm caregiving away from home? Emotional health also an issue.

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GARDENSFORLIFE's Photo GARDENSFORLIFE Posts: 46,490
8/21/16 11:37 P

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Linda- so glad you are here!
emoticon emoticon emoticon



"... my God is the rock of my refuge."
Psalm 94:22

"Peace begins with a smile.."
Mother Teresa

Fall Seven Times
Stand Up Eight
Japanese Proverb

Fruit, Grains and Veggies Oh My!-Leader

Dash Plan for Hypertension-Leader

Greenhouse Gardening-Leader

Heart Health Team-
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8/15/16 10:02 A

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Welcome to this team, Linda.

You are right about other types of dementia. I know several that have vascular dementia. Both ladies were rather young at onset. I would say 60's or early 70's.

I did not know about that feature on Spark.

Karen

Ohio


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RAYLINSTEPHENS's Photo RAYLINSTEPHENS Posts: 44,119
8/15/16 9:46 A

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I am Linda and although my DH doesn't have Alzheimer's, he is soon to be 95 and I am dealing with his dementia.

It isn't important to me what it is called, what is important to me is he gets the best caregiving I have.

There's a new feature on SP which allows me to see how many members have been active in the last 30 days - and although there are only 6 of you, I'll take 6 active over not knowing if the team is dead.

I'm hoping to make this #7 for active.

Thanks!

Linda
Central Time Zone
page 39 in The Spark

Lifetime Spirited Underdog!

I didn't "make it happen" the first time, I "made it happen" the last time!



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GARDENSFORLIFE's Photo GARDENSFORLIFE Posts: 46,490
7/2/16 2:09 P

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Anita- emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon



"... my God is the rock of my refuge."
Psalm 94:22

"Peace begins with a smile.."
Mother Teresa

Fall Seven Times
Stand Up Eight
Japanese Proverb

Fruit, Grains and Veggies Oh My!-Leader

Dash Plan for Hypertension-Leader

Greenhouse Gardening-Leader

Heart Health Team-
Leader


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6/30/16 4:57 P

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Anita... I am glad you found us, too. I am not sure about the laws & what "deeding" it means. I know my friends mom gave her home to her adult children & a few years later she had to go into a nursing home. She had no assets & medicaid came back & took some of the sale of the home although it was not in her moms name. I think she said they have x amount of years to do that. Not sure how many????

I am glad the meds are helping.

Karen

Ohio


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AGRAY7903's Photo AGRAY7903 Posts: 353
6/30/16 12:08 P

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So happy to find this team! My mom has Alzheimer's and has lived with me since my dad died in 2012. She also has Parkinson's, so I'm dealing with a double-whammy! Although I work, I have someone with her around the clock now, and have for over a year. We started out with 4 hours a day while I was away but even my sitter knew it was time for an increase when I made the change.

We have been dealing with extreme agitation, hallucinations,, incontinence, and being almost non-verbal, and just being scared, for several months. I took her to see her neurologist earlier this week and he put mom on DIVALPROEX SOD DR 250MG TAB and she is like a new person. She is initiating conversation. She went to the bathroom and took off her wet Depends without being told - or worse, she usually pulled the wet one back up! I know this is not a cure but it is wonderful to see her not scared out of her mind and yelling for help, for the police, or as Monday night, yelling that she had been kidnapped.

I know my mom really needs to be in a nursing home, but we cannot do that. She deeded her home to my daughter less than 5 years ago, back during the time that Alzheimer's was not obvious. My daughter is now divorced, the custodial parent of a 6-year old child, and does not have enough credit/credit history to get a 2nd mortgage on the house for the fair market value of the house the year it was deeded to her. (She has checked, and shown me the denial.) I cannot, will not, ask my daughter to sell the house, which will leave her with no place to live. She has loved this house since she was a small child. My parents always told her that one day it would be hers since she wanted it (and it was paid for).

I have 2 brothers. One lives in California (we live in Alabama) with his wife and does not call or visit. The other lives about 40 minutes away and does not call or visit. So I really am doing this alone. I would be lost without the help and support from my ex-husband.

Anita

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6/17/16 5:39 P

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My dear IAMHOLDINGON...... you have really taken on so much with the care of your parents & their household. I was glad to see you take a book with you & hope you find time to read it. Are you familiar with the CHICKEN SOUP series? They have a book written by alz. caregivers, really short chapters that you might find inspiration from.

How is your son doing? Have they determined what part of the autism spectrum he is in. I am a little familiar with this disorder having worked with Head Start preschool for 15 years.
Will your sister be able to help you more this summer?

Take care of yourself above all.


VANESSA... i hope you are doing ok

Karen

Ohio


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IAMHOLDINGON's Photo IAMHOLDINGON Posts: 3,383
6/17/16 5:10 P

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GRANDMAKAREN & BGRN thank you for your support and encouragment. It is not easy. I am still caregiver. I quit my job a year ago and despite being a wife and mother of three (only two at home) have tried to make myself myself available 24/7 for my parents. I spend at least 5 days a week with my parents and check in on them the other two days. My day typically includes visiting various doctors, doing laundry, cooking, washing dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, sorting more than ten years of bills and other paperwork), yardwork (to find our way through the overgrown mess that my Dad insisted for years he would take care of... not letting me help)... I am trying to male time occasionally for one of my girlfriends and her little boy who I adore (he's two) and I am making sure to keep a book handy to read whenever I need a break.
Oh did I mention that each day also includes taking Mom for a ride to "somewhere" because she just knows she is suppose to be there, wherever there is... and you have to go at that very moment.


I am looking forward to getting to know the members of rhis team and providing (and receiving) support for one another as we all face the challenges this part of our journey may bring.

Edited by: IAMHOLDINGON at: 6/17/2016 (17:23)
HZJEWL's Photo HZJEWL Posts: 986
6/11/16 11:32 A

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emoticon

~ Vanessa ~

I present my body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is my reasonable service (Rom. 12:1).

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1).


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6/9/16 11:48 P

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I will join you in praying for a room & that therapy will help him.

Ohio


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HZJEWL's Photo HZJEWL Posts: 986
6/9/16 9:59 P

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Thank you. He was brought to the hospital when he came back. We're waiting for a room in the rehab to be available. It breaks my heart that he has to go through all of this especially the pain when he's turned. emoticon

~ Vanessa ~

I present my body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is my reasonable service (Rom. 12:1).

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1).


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6/9/16 7:38 P

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Vanessa ... I am so sorry. Sounds like you you really care for your fiance. I wish I knew how to help you feel better about this situation. i hope you are able to spend some time with him & maybe he will come to see that you are not spending time with a boyfriend. What is his prognosis? Is he able to have therapy now?

Please let us know how things are going in the days ahead.

karen

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HZJEWL's Photo HZJEWL Posts: 986
6/9/16 6:33 P

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Hello. My fiance had a stroke on November 30th. On Christmas Eve his daughter took him to another state to care for him, in her home, where he grew progressively worse. We (his siblings, nieces, and I) were able to bring him back to this state for care. Before he returned I was able to visit him every two weeks on my day off. I saw that he was getting worse but no one wanted to do anything. He left with his left side paralyzed with the ability to lift that leg a little. He came back with that leg bent all the way up past his waist. All they did was let him lie in the bed and did not work with him nor would they let anyone speak to him on the phone. He is a minister and very popular, so for him to isolated left him depressed, especially since he couldn't talk to me.

Now that he's back he believes it is 1985 and his deceased wife and siblings are still alive. He knows who I am though. He gets angry at me once a week because when I leave him or don't spend a lot of time with him because he believes I have another boyfriend. I was devastated when he left especially since I moved into the hospital and rehab for the three weeks before he left. To top it off. I cannot have as much alone time with him because his family wants to see him all the time now when before they would come once and a while.

~ Vanessa ~

I present my body a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is my reasonable service (Rom. 12:1).

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (Hebrews 12:1).


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6/8/16 9:55 P

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Does your mom like music? I have found some of my friends with dementia still like to sing the old songs.

Ohio


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BGRN13's Photo BGRN13 Posts: 237
6/8/16 7:05 P

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for IAMHOLDINGON:

Wow! You have a lot going on now. It sounds like you know what to do, but that's not the whole battle, is it? Actually putting it into action is the hardest part. My mom started getting vascular dementia due to mini strokes fall 2014. Open heart surgery at MAYO 3/15. After a few months of chaos in their house, I think my dad is handling it a little better. My sister, who lives about 15 min from them and is a teacher, is usually spared the details. I, on the other hand, am the one they call to drive places, fix things (computers, cell phones, etc.). I'm on disability, have a teenage son and husband, but since I'm "home all day" (which I never am), they call me for everything. My mom will call and talk to me for an hour or two every day. My dad isn't real supportive, but more or less just takes her to dr appts and fills her pill boxes. She's on Coumadin, so he tests her blood every week. But, things were really ugly this past Feb/March again. I think she had another stroke, personally. It was awful. I can relate to how frustrated you feel. It's great if you can get some other form of support for her and you! How old is your son? Does he go to school? If you ever want to "chat", message me back in my inbox and I'll try to get back to you. Oh, and my weight has gone up thanks to the stress and bad health choices I've made over the past year. You're definitely not alone. I'm trying to find "me" time every day, but it's not easy. Keep pushing along! emoticon

Edited by: BGRN13 at: 6/8/2016 (19:07)
*Good moms have happy children and dirty floors."

*You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Ghandi





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6/6/16 1:05 P

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I am a retired social worker. I work PRN in a memory care unit. My uncle has ALZ. I do not care for anyone at this time but I love the residents in the unit. A few years ago I knew nothing about dementia. I joined this team because I want to offer support to those caring for a loved one. You are indeed angels.

Ohio


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IAMHOLDINGON's Photo IAMHOLDINGON Posts: 3,383
1/28/16 10:48 P

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Currently I am looking for support for myself as a daughter and care giver of a stage 5-6 ahlzheimers mother, mother of a recently diagnosed son with autism, and an individual facing many other personal struggles. I have been on and off again with my weightloss journey and I know I have to take care of my health in order to take care of others. I am, however struggling in recent months to stay focused on my health. Insteaded of winning what feels like a battle at this time I have been repeatedly sabotaging myself.


PAISLEYOWL140's Photo PAISLEYOWL140 Posts: 162
1/27/16 4:08 P

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Im 33 years old and I take care of my grandma who is 80 years old. During June of 2014 she had to stay in the hospital for 3 days because she was complaining of chest pains and they wanted to keep an eye on her. That was a nightmare. She would fight with everyone, wouldnt eat, or take her meds. Because of this we had to take her back to the hospital 3 days later because she wasnt using the bathroom. She was going into kidney failure. They actually had to tie her down because she would hit, scratch, bite, and would pull her IV out. During that week I had to take my aunt to work, go to the hospital, then pick her up, then we both went to the hospital. I ate so much hospital food.

This was when we really started to notice a change. Im glad we moved her in back in 08/09.

She drains all my energy. I cant get any housework done because she has to explore the house or try to get out. She has already gotten out 3 times.

1. She got up before me and when I got up I couldn't find her in the house and when I went outside I saw her down the road.
2. We childproof the doors so she couldnt get out but she found a way. Me and my aunt got woken up by the dog parking. I looked out and saw a car and thought it was my grams sisters. Turns out it was some guy. When my aunt opens the door her asked, Is this your mother? We are so thankful that someone thought to stop and help her. We had a slider door that is messed up and very hard to open. She was able to open it and squeeze her way through. We are also happy that the cat to dog didnt get out.
3. I was in the bathroom and there was knocking at the front door. I ignored it because I figured it was someone just trying to sale me something. I then noticed that the person was really knocking hard so when I came out I had already missed them. I also noticed my grandma wasnt in her rocking chair. I ran through the house and couldnt find her. I looked out side and saw the lady across the street walking up her drive looking back at my house. I did another check and all the doors still had the childproof knob things on them. I put some pants and a coat on and went outside to check the side because in the past she has fallen over there. I then hear, "you looking for someone?". She was able to open the back door and head across the street where she just helped herself and walked into someones house.

Right now she has 2 broken toes. She is also a diabetic. She cant tell us if she is in pain or not. We have a boot for her to wear but that doesn't keep her from being still. Today she slept till noon but didnt eat till 2 because she would not sit down. I also couldnt get her boot on her. She finally just sat down about 5 minutes ago. I hope I can get it on her when Im done here.

It would be so much easier for me if we put her in a home but we know that wouldnt work for her. I rather go through hell with little sleep, stress out all day, and live in a messy house than have her live elsewhere. She hits me all the time and tells me she hopes I die but I wouldnt have it any other way. I love her so much and I know her life would shorten if she was at a home.

I also babysit. My cousin just had another little girl so Im having a break right now. I get the girls back this April. The oldest will turn 3 April 2nd and the baby will turn 3 months April 8th. I hope having the baby around will help keep her calm.

"We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one." ~ The Doctor

"Everyday is Magic"


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MARCIALS51's Photo MARCIALS51 Posts: 2,679
7/17/15 2:12 P

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Hi, I am Marcia, I'm 63 years old and August of 2014 I moved in with my Mom. Mom is 84 yrs old and the youngest of her family. My Dad died in 2011 of a massive heart attack in front of Mom. She couldn't afford their place so I helped her get into an affordable apartment that she never liked. I moved in because she started having short term memory lose. She has Macular Degeneration and is slowly going blind. We just moved into a small 2 bedroom house. She has been going on walks with my dog being more active. BUT this week she couldn't remember her nephew's name or that he was her oldest sister's youngest. I'm scared and really don't know what to do or how to act with her. I need help.

"But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win..." Philippines 3: 13-14

Marcia L Simpson
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TAMIBKD's Photo TAMIBKD Posts: 541
4/13/15 11:42 P

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Hi everyone, My name in Tami and I work in Assisted Living and Memory Care community. My MIL is declining and family or 3 sons don't want to believe, or accept that this is happening, I tell them I see things every day, they say oh it's normal old age... Well, this is my life my profession, and I think I see something. Any way some one said it best, working with it and having it happen to you and your family is very different.

I have been on and off of SP for years, like a yo, yo, and so for the 3rd time I am back. Looking for support and encouragement to keep on doing the right things. I've logged food for the 2nd day in a row... that's a good sign.

Be blessed!

Starting Spark Weight in September 2010; 272 pounds. Been on and off a few times like a yo-yo. And here I am at 293 in March of 2017. I joined a work group for 'Weigh-down Wednesday' 12 week challenge. And came back to SP because I knew it worked.


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4/6/15 9:28 P

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Thank you Leslie

Peace, BerryZona


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4/6/15 1:32 P

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Welcome BERRYZONA - sorry to hear about your MIL.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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4/6/15 1:03 P

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Hi, Everyone

My Mother in Law has Alzheimer's late stages with complications from strokes. She's bed ridden. It's really sad. I'm also a self employed seniors caregiver working with clients that have dementia. I really love it but of course when it's your family member who sick it's all whole different ball game. Wishing the best to you all & your loved ones.

Peace, BerryZona


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1/8/15 12:06 A

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Thanks for your stories ladies - they were heart touching.

I tried to get this team motivated about a year ago -- not much interest and I am trying again now.

I sure wish we would all share our stories.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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BGRN13's Photo BGRN13 Posts: 237
1/2/15 1:37 A

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Kim, what a beautiful story! Your mom was so lucky to have you & it sounds like she knew it. My mom is 74 & started having mini-strokes in Sept we think. She had bad migraines & had the 31 shot Botox done to her head to try to get rid of them. Soon after, she was in the ER w/more pain. She was in & out of the hospital 2-3 times. One of those times, the hospital suggested we take her to assisted living for a few weeks to let he'd heal. My dad & mom refused & she's been home w/him since. She now has vascular dementia. It got a bit better the first week, then she tried doing wacky things in the house.
My dad is good w/helping her, but I feel that he doesn't have much patience. He's hardly ever home & she can't drive, so she's bored at home all day. He works out, takes golf lessons, gets groceries, & goes out for coffee while she's at home. She can't even dial her flip phone. She waits for my dad to get home & do it for her. I am so stressed about it all. We also found out she needs heart surgery that can only be done at Mayo (6 hrs from me). So, I worry every day could be her last so, I guess the moral of the story is sometimes things are out of our control. Our people in our lives truly are precious. Meet each day w/a smile & thank God you're here to see it

*Good moms have happy children and dirty floors."

*You must be the change you wish to see in the world." Ghandi





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12/31/14 6:43 P

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Hey Everyone!

I have been here for a VERY LONG time. The team just sort of peetered out a couple years ago. Today I was TRYING to remember "what was that group I used to belong to?" Then today as I was scrolling through Facebook, there it was SparkPeople!

Anyway my name is Kim and I live in Maryland. I was the caregiver for my mom until she passed away on July 1. It has been a HORRIBLE year. The week before mom passed we had to have our 13 YO Beagle Sophie put down due to cancer. On November 22 (less than 5 months) we had to have our other Beagle, 15 YO Scout put down. He had doggie dementia and the last two years were spent carrying him up & down the stairs and there was a carpet of pee pee pads upstairs.

I just wanted to log in to share the testimony of my mother's passing in hopes that it will help someone here. I hope you don't mind the Christian tone of it - if you are not a believer, this will still have a lot for you.

My mom had Alzheimer’s, and 14 months before she passed away on July 1st, 2014 she was only given 2 months to live because her lymphoma had returned with a vengeance. But she died from neither.

Mom had been diagnosed with walking pneumonia and had been "out of it" since Saturday, June 26th. She also had a lot of pain from a broken arm that she suffered two weeks before.

On Sunday afternoon she went to the ER and was subsequently admitted. That evening a priest came and administered the anointing of the sick. Although she hadn’t talked in a couple of day, as he was leaving, she opened her eyes and clearly said, "I want to go home." At this point my brother Alan, who was visiting from Florida, and I "knew" that we would not be bringing her home.

Alan & I had been taking turns being with her at the hospital. He couldn’t sleep so he came in early for his “shift” on Monday evening and relieved me shortly before 9 PM. When I got home I went face first into my pillow at 9:15 PM and was shocked when I woke up exactly 8 hours later at 5:15 AM – I have not had a solid night’s sleep before or since. I felt guilty for sleeping while mom was suffering in the hospital.

As I drove to the hospital I was “yelling” at God letting Him know that I was angry with Him. Mom had been moaning and crying out for two days by this time. She was on pain medication so we speculate it was fear.

A couple hours after my brother left, I started singing to her. Heaven knows why I did this because I am NOT a good singer and I NEVER sing unless it’s with everyone else in church or if I’m COMPLETELY alone. Her favorite song is the National Anthem, and it’s the last song I ever heard her humming. As soon as I started singing it, Mom IMMEDIATELY stopped moaning, opened her eyes and nodded at me. One of the residents, of Indian descent, came in and said, “Oh, she’s stopped moaning. That’s good.” Somehow I knew it wasn’t good, but I didn’t say anything.

Without even checking Mom, she left and after a few more minutes of singing to her I thought about the time she told me about a "near-death experience" she had many years ago. I said, "Do you remember telling me about the beautiful white light?” Nod. “How it was warm and you felt love?" She nodded at me again. I said, "Mom, I love you, but if you feel it's time to go, just relax. It will be OK. We will be OK". She gently closed her eyes.

I then played some Andrea Bocelli for her on my laptop, prayed and soon a nurse came into the room with a phone to her ear – they were obviously monitoring her. She felt her neck and said into the phone, "I've still got a pulse, but it’s weak." Seconds later two residents came in. The next Andrea Bocelli song started playing - a heavenly-sounding duet. It sounded vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t hear it – I knew I’d have to find out what it was called. The nurse now had a stethoscope to Mom’s chest and soon said, "She's gone."

I began to cry because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Right? The doctor from India had an almost stunned look on her face – did she feel guilty for not doing anything when she came in earlier? Almost immediately a weight lifted off of me and I hugged the doctor and told her that it was OK that Mom was in heaven with her Savior, whole in mind and body in the arms of the Lord Jesus Christ. She probably thought I was nuts!

God gave me a great gift of being able to watch her calm down, stop being afraid and peacefully slip away into His loving arms.

That second Andrea Bocelli song? It was a duet with Sara Brightman called . . . Time To Say Goodbye. It’s mostly in Italian . . . Mom’s first language.

SPARK PEOPLE FRIENDS . . . when you feel it's time, tell your loved one that you love them then give them "permission" to let go.

Tomorrow at 9:11 AM, New Year's Day, it will be 6 months since she passed. It's been tough. I felt lost - what do I DO now? There were also times of guilt because I also felt a sense of relief - it's over. All those emotions have washed over me like a wave pounding me down one minute while lifting me up the next. I miss her terribly, but then again, I've missed "her" for years now. I know you all understand.

HUGS to each of you going through all of this.

Kim

I have seen women looking at jewelry ads with a misty eye and one hand resting on the heart, and I only know what they're feeling because that's how I read the seed catalogs in January.

Barbara Kingsolver - Animal, Vegetable, Miracle


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6/26/14 2:23 A

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emoticon to the team! I hope we can help you through your situation!

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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DTERESA's Photo DTERESA Posts: 81
6/26/14 12:51 A

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Greetings!
My mom is 87 and has recently entered a board & care home. She has not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's but she has had two strokes that have resulted in devastating effects. She can barely see, her speech is garbled, she can't walk on her own and her hearing is severely deteriorated. It's a very long day when there is so little she can occupy herself with. Her reaction is raging anger and it's been a very draining few months as we try to work with her doctors to find a way to give her some peace. Looking forward to sharing life with you all here!

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6/4/14 1:14 A

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Hi Anne!

Glad to have you on the team and what a great niece you are! You are very fortunate that he is happy & physically fit. Please look over the boards & contribute to any topics you would like to!

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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6/3/14 1:55 A

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Hi!

I am Anne and I have been taking care of my great uncle with Alzheimer's the last 3 years. He lived with us full time the first year and then we had to put him in a facility. I go everyday to visit him and we call his girlfriend. My uncle is 93 and his girlfriend is 88.

I am fortunate as he is always happy and physically is good.

BELSNICKEL's Photo BELSNICKEL Posts: 2,792
4/26/14 9:40 P

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hi Bob,

My name is also Bob and my wife also suffers from dementia. This is a tough thing to go through. People who don't deal with it, just don't understand. For it is the greatest crisis in my adult life, hard to face as my great support person is no longer there. Sounds like you have your hands full Try to stay connected with what ever community you have. I'm 67, as my wife started to isolate I did as well. Don't do that, you need your friends now more than ever,

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4/26/14 2:16 A

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emoticon to our newest team members.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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AFITTERBOB's Photo AFITTERBOB Posts: 37
4/9/14 8:22 P

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Hi Team,
My name is Bob. My wife was diagnosed with early onset Alz last year. Her short term memory has been getting worse. She is 60. We have been married 38 years and she is truly my best friend and the love of my life.
I am having a little trouble coping right now. My oldest son, who is 33, is currently getting chemo for a rare form of cancer. The good news is that it looks like they got all of it and that the chemo is working. But I still worry. My youngest son is struggling with depression. I really did not want to do Sparkpeople today but thought I would at least try to log my food.
I am sorry that this is such a "downer" reply. I just needed to vent.
I hope to get to know you better.
Your fellow Sparker,
Bob

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4/6/14 8:07 P

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My neighbor thought people were in her house too and they called it "sundowner's" She came over to our house after10:00pm to tell us about them. The name seems to come from the symptoms being worse after in gets dark. It is very real to them. I remember someone in a support group being advised not to try to talk them out of their reality, because it is real to them.

My mom has dementia and stopped speaking about a month after she went in the nursing home. These diseases are just horrible.

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

Co-leader Sarcastics Unlimited

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4/6/14 12:47 P

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Hi. My name is Christi. I'm so happy to have found this team. I tried a caregiver team last year but nobody ever posted.

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease 5 years ago. He began having problems way before that, though. Right now he lives with my mom right across the street from me. In May they are moving to supportive living, and then I'm sure soon after that my dad will need an Alzheimer's Unit.

My biggest concern right now is my mom. While we do have home health care coming in 2 days a week to help with shopping, cleaning, laundry, etc., the stress is really affecting her. She was in a car accident over 20 years ago and spent months in the hospital with multiple surgeries, so she has her own issues and I can see this situation is wearing her down. I see my parents nearly every day, and help with whatever I can, but I also work full-time. It's a tough situation that will not be getting better.

In the last few months my dad has gotten markedly worse. He now wears a diaper at night (when he's not tearing it off and hiding it) and sometimes during the day. He has crying jags and tells us he doesn't know who he is. Television confuses him and he says the characters on the t.v. came to visit him and when we explain the difference between t.v. and real life he cries and says nobody believes him. He sometimes believes other people are in the house. He's very suspicious and thinks people are talking about him all the time. And he talks a lot about dying. The only reason I understand even a little of what he says (because 80% of it is gibberish) is because I spend time with him almost daily and am aware of the situations going on in the house.

This is a terrible disease, but there have also been wonderful moments. My dad, who has never been overly affectionate, tells me he loves me and gives me hugs all the time. We laugh and joke. He sings in the grocery store, and talks to everyone he meets. Such a people person, my dad. Everywhere we go, he has ladies waiting to give him a hug. it's such a blessing.

I'm excited to be part of a team that is addressing the issues of Alzheimer's and caregiving, and hope I will be able to contribute a little experience and a lot of love and caring.

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2/4/14 1:43 A

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emoticon Irene & Susan to the team! Sorry for the late post - duty has been calling. Please feel free to look at all our threads - and be sure and post any questions or suggestions you might have!

~Leslie

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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ENGLISHNAN's Photo ENGLISHNAN Posts: 20,158
1/28/14 1:43 P

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Hi I know Susan from the Caregivers team, I saw her link to this team so followed her here, We are all desperate for contact with others who know the problems
Iam Irene I am English and live near Nottingham. My husband M was officially diagnosed with Alzeimer's last May, he is not too bad, very forgetful and losing ability to do things he always has done, I am the caregiver. I look forward to getting to know you. Irene

Irene in Nottinghamshire UK
FOCUSONME57's Photo FOCUSONME57 Posts: 7,356
1/28/14 12:41 P

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Hello,

I've been a member of Caregiver Support team for quite some time and just now found this team. I am full time caregiver to my husband who has beginning stages of dementia along with permanent brain damage from a fall at home. He has very limited mobility, some assisted walking, mostly wheelchair bound.

I am looking forward to getting to know everyone and reading your ideas.



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12/3/13 1:55 A

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emoticon CHANTENAY & MONIQUEDVA

Sorry for being so late to Welcome you, lots of stuff going on as all can relate to.

CHANTENAY - My Mom has also been diagnosed with Alzheimer's - but she was also wrongly diagnosed with Parkinsons - so be sure you are choosing a really good Neurologist and make sure that her Doctors all agree with you. You can do lots of research on the internet and the Doctor's aren't always right. Just keep up following up as best as you can
We changed neurologists over the last 3 months and have had a world of difference in Mom's symptoms.

MONIQUEDVA - your best way to go is to find your Grandmother a really good neurologist and to try to get her to interact with people as much as you can. 92 is a really good age to get to be and maybe she just doesn't want new friends? But maybe just doing some activities with her will make her happy?



Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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11/14/13 3:29 P

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Hi...I will do a quick introduction now & peek around later. My name is Monique & my Grams is 92 & forgets basically everything. She isn't "officially" diagnosed with anything, but I have to call her to take her meds every morning. I have to clean out the cabinets. Weekly, I throw away her (wasted) fresh produce she insisted on having. I have to count the bananas to make sure she eats them all after buying them. She is looking for "tall, dark & handsome" but if I suggest anyone within 30 years of her age...she tells me I'm crazy, they are all creeps.

Our newest debacle is me trying to get her to go to the Rec Center 2 days a week. She doesn't want to be with "those people". Apparently older people are "those people". She just does not self-identify as old. Now mind you she also doesn't leave the house unless a family member is with her. She doesn't drive. She has no friends. And now she is making up stories about us b/c her life is so "boring". (Her word not mine!) So in my mind...meeting some new people & getting out of the house is better than sitting at home doing nothing.

So much for quick...I'll sign off now!

Monique or just Mo / Eastern Standard Time
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11/14/13 2:39 P

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My mom was pretty good about keeping bad food. the first time I decided to clean out her fridge I found stuff that had been expired for years. Cabinets too.
Here's a fun one from her: trying to wipe with ONE square of toilet paper. Talk about cheap!
Do other people actually do this too?

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

Co-leader Sarcastics Unlimited

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11/14/13 10:48 A

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I just joined last night. The last straw that prompted me to look for this Spark Team is writing a blog that my Spark Friends just aren't prepared for. A couple of days later I thought maybe I should find a place where people are familiar with this subject. They didn't complain, were totally supportive comments, but I'd rather leave my blogs for fun stuff and vent to the right places. Reading your postings, I can see you know just what I'm talking about!

Both of my parents have dementia. Mom was originally diagnosed with Alzheimer's but I guess she actually has dementia even though she's supposed to be taking Alzheimer's drugs. She stopped them due to diarrhea, which I think is more likely caused by eating food that sits in the frig too long. They insist it's just fine, though! Everything is just fine, no matter what is going on, typical of Alzheimer's. I have to go there to see what's really going on, a 20-mile trip from my home. But they're so worth it.

emoticon emoticon

"Your inner athlete is dying to play!" - Cory Everson

Change doesn't happen without struggle.


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10/24/13 11:10 P

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Oh, Sal, my heart aches for you. When my mom was in a nursing home, I wanted to take her home with me too. I know how frustrating that is. But I had to keep telling myself that my mom was where she needed to be. It sounds like caring for your mom was too much for you as well, so I would say she is where she needs to be. Yes, it hurts...
I also thought once you went on hospice, meds were eliminated, except those that keep the person in as little pain as possible. Did you ask anyone about that?

Please take care of yourself. emoticon emoticon emoticon
You will be in my prayers

With God all things are possible


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10/24/13 9:35 P

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I always read my mom her daily devotional when I get to visit her. We put her in the nursing home on Sept. 11. She was at death's door which is where she wanted to be. she is ready for Heaven. I feel like I let her down by not just keeping her and let her die at home like she wanted to. She has been on Hospice since mid-June. I thought they were just supposed to make her comfortable but 2 days before we had to put her in the home they gave her anti-biotics. I thought she was not going to live the week out much less the month. Now it has been almost another month. All she gets to eat is mush. I wish I could bring her back, but I am too weak to get her in and out of bed alone. I was visiting her every other day but about a week ago It so depressed me that I cried all the way home.

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

Co-leader Sarcastics Unlimited

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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PATIENTSAM's Photo PATIENTSAM Posts: 2,720
10/24/13 8:02 P

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You have a wonderful attitude. I must say I am guilty of not always seeing my MIL for who she really was. I think now that she is not living with us, I can better appreciate those things. I guess it was just getting too hard to deal with all we were dealing with.

With God all things are possible


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10/24/13 6:24 P

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PATIENTSAM,
i do find that i have a deeper connection with my grandmothers because of my job...but i think i still see them as the people who had lives once, had a career once, raised a family once...and that s hard to forget because i just keep thinking how are ppl gonna treat me once my mental state is like theirs...its just not fair, but then again it makes me appreciate the moments of clarity that i still have...im young and ive got a lot of life in me, but you know i think they still got a lot of life in them too, and i hate to see them waste away because no one sees they still have a soul, even tho the mind is gone. thank you and God bless you too in your journey!

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10/24/13 6:03 P

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Denabear, Glad to hear you are a Christian!

And Yes, I know you must be passionate about the work you do. You must have a big heart! I worked in a nursing home for 8 years and hated it. It was just a job for me. My heart was not in it, for sure. I also know after having taken care of my MIL for so long, it is not a job for me! Do you find yourself relating better to your family members as a result (those with memory issues) or do you get frustrated with them? Like I said, hats off to you and God bless!!

With God all things are possible


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10/23/13 7:36 A

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thank you so much PATIENTSAM ! it is a tough job but its also VERY rewarding...ive heard it said many times that you really have to have the heart to do this kind of work...well I am very passionate about this, so I think im in it for the long haul :)

Edited by: DENABEAR2012 at: 10/23/2013 (07:36)
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10/23/13 7:34 A

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Well thank you both for the welcome and the support...im really glad I found this website...btw...its amazing to me that I didn't say anything about me being a Christian, and two Christian ppl replied!!!! lol. its amazing how God works sometimes...and being a caregiver can get very tough sometimes, but I hope if I ever get to the point of no return, ill have someone like me to take care of me :)

BELSNICKEL's Photo BELSNICKEL Posts: 2,792
10/22/13 11:09 P

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Welcome Denabear, I am sure you'll fit in here well. I have began to reach out here and in real life. I find both really important parts of my coping. I get exercise at the local "y" and attend a men bible study. Both have helped. I'm. Heading to a new local shortly. I know looking for new friends there will be important.

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10/22/13 8:24 P

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Welcome Denabear!
Wow, You are surrounded by people with memory issues! I do so admire those who work in Memory Care facilities. We just brought my MIL to just such a place, and you can tell that most of the people there love what they do. Hats off to you and the job you do!! And thank you for the job you do!!! emoticon

With God all things are possible


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10/22/13 7:27 P

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hello everyone, i am new here, and i just wanted to introduce myself...i have one grandmother currently diagnosed with the beginning stages of alzheimers, and another grandmother with dementia, that i help take care of ocassionally... i also am a caregiver at an Alzheimers Memory Care facility full time. with my schedule its so hard to make new friends, so i would love to connect with ppl on here.

Edited by: DENABEAR2012 at: 10/22/2013 (19:29)
LESLIE_2B_LESS's Photo LESLIE_2B_LESS SparkPoints: (172,578)
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10/17/13 1:06 A

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And I am with you there... I'm not sure what I would do if I tried to make new friends, mine are mostly "old ones', or relatives or from work.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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9/28/13 11:42 A

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Thanks, Leslie. I know friends will come along in time. But for now, I just have to be patient and get involved. That is hard for me to do. I am a reserved person and don't reach out well. But I know God has a plan for me!

With God all things are possible


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9/26/13 1:23 A

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PatientSam - Sorry I took so long to welcome you to team & thread!

What a good d-i-l you are! Not sure I will do that with my inlaws. They are not nearly the good parents my parents are and my parents were good parents to my husband when his parents were that good to him.

That's a whole nother ball of chain... LOL

Sam - hard to be somewhere you don't have some friends in place - I luckily have a few good core of friends. I play BUNCO once a month with my BUNCO girls! We've being doing that for 15 years + together, I do things with my girlfriends from high school, etc....

I hope you can find a group of friends to relate to.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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9/21/13 1:37 P

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Thanks, Terry, Yes, talking about things here is a great help. No one can fully comprehend what it is to live with someone with memory issues unless you have done so yourself.

We are talking about nursing homes, but have not made any final decisions.

We recently moved, so no friends to spend the day with. I appreciate the support I am getting on sp!!!!

With God all things are possible


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9/21/13 11:59 A

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Hi Patientsam (and I must say, you truly are being a patient daughter in law!) I'm sorry for my late reply.

I know it must be very hard when your M-I-L makes those comments. You know you are being a good D-I-L, but like you said, she's not in her right state of mind anymore.

It sounds like you are doing some good things to cope--like going outside to read or to get away from the stress. Good for you! But I know this has been a long journey for you.

Have you and your husband ever thought of putting her into a nursing home? (Or is she not that bad yet?) I know it's "easier said than done" to get a loved one into nursing home care.

I wish I had some better advice, but all I know to tell you is to hang in there. I hope talking about it has helped you. Do you have any female friends that you can have a "girls day out" now and then? Go to a movie? Just something to get away?

So glad you are here! Please feel free to chat with us anytime. We all can relate to what you are going through!

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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9/20/13 4:47 P

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Welcome Sam, another voice is always care good thing. I have found reaching out is always a good thing. Trouble is we are under a great deal of stress, My rational thinking and acting becomes distorted. We all must find new ways of doing things. Some times when we,vent, we. Help give others New understanding. It seems each of us is in a unique position. It is tough enough to deal with things yet we try to do with a cheerful disposition. No one cAn keep it up forever.







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9/20/13 11:19 A

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No, Sal, Gail does not want her at her house. Her husband is home all day, and I think it is more him refusing to take her. They have suggested adult foster care, which is available where they live in Oregon. Since we live in Illinois, Gail can't just come and spend time with her here very often. Actually, it is more like every other year!


I am sorry that you have to deal with your issues alone. That is not fun

With God all things are possible


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9/19/13 11:02 P

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My mother did that getting dressed in the middle of the night thing too. when she first moved here she would turn her tv on and wake me up. That didn't go over very well. Since I am an only child she didn't have any other daughter to want to go to. Does Gail ever take her for awhile so you can go somewhere?

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

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9/19/13 12:05 P

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Hi! I am so excited to find this group! I am only sorry I did not think to look a long time ago. I have been wanting somewhere to vent and get support from others who are dealing with what I deal with. My mother-in-law lives with me and my husband. She has lived with us for 18 years now. She will be 97 in November.

Anyway, her memory is so bad. You can tell her something and it is gone before you finish saying it! Her vision is bad as well. She really could benefit from cataract surgery, but of course in her state, that is not an option. She has severe hearing loss too.

It is so hard to deal with her. She is constantly saying "I can't wait to get out of here. I want to go to Gail's (her daughter). I have to get out of this dumb place..." and the list goes on. I know she is not in her right frame of mind, but we really try to do our best to take care of her. When she says those things, it is like a slap in the face.

Since we recently moved, things have gotten worse, which I expected. She hates being left alone, and lets you know it. Going to the bathroom sometimes can be a chore! The minute you leave the room, you can hear her complain that she is all alone and nobody cares. Before we moved, our children were all home, so there was usually someone to keep her company, most of the time. Now, two are off to college and the other two are getting a place of their own.

Funny thing is, though, I understand her fear. I just wish I could deal with it all better. I admit my temper has gotten the better of me at times and I just need to leave! My escape is to go outside, at least while it is nice and read my book. I make sure she is safe and out I go!

Another issue is the confusion between day and night. Sometimes she will get up in the middle of the night and is dressed and ready for the day. That I do not understand. Can't she see it is dark outside? So we must explain to her what time it is and that she needs to go back to bed! Sometimes that takes a while and since we must speak loudly to get our point across...well you get the picture. Sometimes this happens two times in one night.

We recently found a dr for her. She has not really needed any medical help for as long as she has lived with us...and amazing thing. But I strongly encouraged my husband to look into getting her connected with a dr so that we could get some help. We now have been giving her some meds to hopefully help calm her down. Getting them in her can be a trick, but I am finding ways! The doctor's office has given us other resources to investigate as well

Another good thing to happen since we moved is the discovery of Adult daycare. Itt is a Godsend to us for sure. We can bring her as much as 5 days a week for 8 hours each day. What a wonderful break for us! Funny thing, we have had a very hard time getting my m-i-l to take a shower. After several attempts at the day care and still no success, I suggested that they "spill" something on her and then she would have no choice to get her clothes changed. It made the move into the shower a little more convenient and it worked!!

Well, I have rambled on enough. Time to explore this group!

With God all things are possible


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8/28/13 11:42 P

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Mr. Bel, nobody should face this alone. It's way too draining on one person. You need people you can talk to about it (in real life, I mean, as well as us). I'm lucky to have my older sister to talk to about mom (my three other sisters are not as available because of working or living far away). It also helps to talk to dad about it.

But if you are all alone in it, then that truly is hard. I hope you'll find somebody you can talk to about it. Hang in there.

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/28/13 8:40 P

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I have toughening up. Not a good way to go, at least for me. I mist admit this may be the hardest thing I' 've ever going though. A friend of mind mention today I will need to put my wife away. Gosh I don't want to face thAt. BUT I MAY need to. It may be best for us both. I do find this group helps. I will probably move to my daughter' s in the spring. I love my wife but I can not face this alone.


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8/28/13 5:37 P

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yes, yes, yes. My mom just looks so bored all the time. I think if I were in her situation I would wonder every time I woke up, why am I still here?? So I wonder if she is thinking that or not. Is it as dull for her as it looks like to me?

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

Co-leader Sarcastics Unlimited

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8/27/13 10:18 P

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But the days sure can seem long until it passes, can't they? I'm so sorry for your pain. Hang in there. Feel free to share your feelings and frustrations here--we all have them too, here.


T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/25/13 10:51 P

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Thanks Terry! I did recently get some time away when my mom and I took my Grandma up to Oregon to stay with my Aunt for a month but it just seems to slap me in the face when I get home. I guess I just need to toughen up and know that this to shall pass. emoticon

~For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power,love and self-discipline.~2 Timothy 1:7~


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8/25/13 9:56 P

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Sounds like you really, truly loved your grandpa, Mandy. He was lucky to have a Grandaughter like you!

I guess being surrounded by memories of your grandfather (at his home) kinda reminds you maybe a bit "too" much of him. Sounds like maybe you need to get away from there for a while. Do you think that would help? Just a break for a few days while someone else took care of your Grandmother.

It sounds like you need it. It's so easy to become depressed in these situations, so maybe it's time for a break from it.

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/24/13 8:01 P

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Hi my name is Mandy and I am 34 years old. My husband and I had to move in with my Grandma about a year ago when my Grandpa passed away. She has early stages of dementia and diabetes. Her long term memory is holding on strong but she has no short term memory at all. She has a very hard time getting around due to arthritis and total knee replacements on both knees about 15 years ago. I currently have no help beyond my husband and the occasional help I get from my mom (her youngest of 4) who still works full-time. I try my best everyday to get by and stay strong but have been struggling for the past week to do either. My Grandpa's passing really hit me hard and I haven't been myself since.


~For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power,love and self-discipline.~2 Timothy 1:7~


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8/24/13 5:38 P

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yes that is it. Anti biotics don't seem to be helping any more


If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

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8/22/13 11:56 A

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Slo, does UTI mean a urinary track infection? If so, my dad had some kind of UTI a few months ago. He does not have Alz, but physically this really brought him down. I can't explain it exactly, but he just seems more "elderly" since this happened to him. Who knew that such an infection could bring a person down so much?!!

Anyway, I wish you the best with your mom and hope she doesn't have anymore UTI's.

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/22/13 11:53 A

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We are so lucky to have you as our team leader, too, Leslie! Your enthusiasm is contagious! emoticon

Man, you've really had to go down some rough roads, haven't you? I'm so sorry you've had to see loved ones suffer so.

I know what you mean about your mom being your best friend. So hard to watch them slowly leaving us. I know your mom is at a more severe stage than mine is, so I know it must be especially rough for you. Please know we, as a group, want to be there for you, as well! We are all in this together.

T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/22/13 11:47 A

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Hi, I am Terry and I'm glad to be learning more about everyone (though I'm sad some of you are having such a rough road to travel right now). At least with this group we have a connection to other people walking down similar roads (or at some stage of the journey.)

I just turned 60 yesterday (though I see myself more as a 30 year old! Ha!) I'm a simple guy who loves to garden, watch tv and movies, and keeps hoping to lose weight. I'm a struggling vegan (wants to learn to eat that way better) and I do enjoy cooking sometimes (but tend to be lazy about doing it! Ha!)

At this point I'm still not sure my mom has Alz., but I strongly suspect she does. She shows some of the classic symptoms. But at this point she can still carry on a conversation well, though she often forgets something we talked about the day before, and sometimes just a few minutes before. She's a sweet person...still calls me almost daily to see how I am (but unlike mom who used to talk for several minutes, now once she gets the news that I'm okay, she's ready to say goodbye!)

I'll have to say that, to me, she's been the perfect mother. I don't think I could have done much better at having a perfect mom! I'm trying my best to be as nice and kind to her now as I can, knowing this may be her last memories of me.

I live close to my mom...almost close enough to walk there. I sometimes feel guilt that I don't spend every waking moment with her, while she does remember me, but we all have our own lives to live. So there is that guilt sometimes if I go shopping or visit a friend--feel like I should be at moms. But I know the time may come when I will have to give a lot more of my time, so I guess it's best to live my life while I can. I do visit mom and dad at least twice a week...often more.

Good to meet you all!




T E R R Y

***Life has no remote. Get up and change it yourself!
***"I can do all things through Christ!" Phillipians 4:13




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8/22/13 1:13 A

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sorry to hear that - I know that when Alzheimers / Dementia patients get illnesses / infections it can really bring them down drastically.

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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8/21/13 4:46 P

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My mother has been living with us since Nov. she was doing fairly well until May when she came down with a UTI. she seemed like she was starting to get over it, then got another one in June. It really magnifies her dementia problems. Her doctor put her on Hospice for congestive heart failure mid-June. She got another UTI in July and it started again in August. Every day I wonder if she will wake up again.

If you want to be happy, desire and pursue happiness more for others than yourself, and your own well-being will take care of itself. Dedicate your weight-loss journey and the achievement of all your goals to someone else and think of them when times get tough.

Co-leader Sarcastics Unlimited

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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8/21/13 1:45 A

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Hello team! I am a new leader for the team! I would like to start a new thread to introduce ourselves to the team - I am sure we all have new information that we would like to share with each other.

My name is Leslie - I've been on Spark since 7/30/2009. I've had some highs & some lows. But I am always struggling to do my best!

I like to compete in Spark challenges - but I am going to drop one of my challenges now that I have become a leader on this team - I feel strongly about this team!

My Dad was diagnosed with stage 3 esophageal cancer 12/28/10 - Between my siblings we took care of him until the end - DH & I moved in with Mom & Dad 5/12 to take care of them at home and Dad passed away 7/15/12 - Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers & mini strokes 10/11 - and by 5/12 there was no way she could stay home by herself. DH & I are with her in the evenings & weekend - we have 2 caretakers that come in during the day to help her.

It's very hard - Mom & I have always been close - and to have your best friend to basically be gone is really hard. She is more like my child now instead of my parent. So I am so glad to find this team to share my experiences with others & get support that I need.

I also want to share my experiences with others.

~Leslie

Leslie MO
Central Time Zone


Helen Keller explained the purpose of community best, when she said, "Alone we can do so little. Together we can do so much."

SparkGuy says:
Your daily actions and words impact more people than you realize! Who will you impact today?


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