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JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,437)
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4/6/15 8:23 A

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Thank you for the information RESTORETOSANITY!

Janine


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RESTORETOSANITY's Photo RESTORETOSANITY Posts: 319
4/3/15 10:29 A

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For a long time, OA didn't have a lot of its own literature. I've never been fond of the AA Big Book (love the principles, not crazy about the wording) but I like the OA stuff now that its out. For some of us it's a personal preference. A word about pricing: I've found that 12-step literature is actually more expensive on Amazon. If you buy direct from the AA or OA websites, it benefits the organizations. If you can get to a meeting you can usually buy them right there, and a live meeting can really benefit your recovery. What we can't do alone, we can do together.

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CD14626717 Posts: 348
4/2/15 7:30 P

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Hi, Jay and welcome back! Yes, one slip can set you back, but it doesn't have to. Remember, an urge is just a thought, not a command, and just because you slip today doesn't have to mean you slip tomorrow. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.

We're all powerless over food. That's why we're here.

I think you should get the AA Big Book. We all use it, but in our heads or out loud we substitute the word "food" for alcohol, or "compulsive overeating" for drinking. The principles are all the same. That's why this works.

I don't have any frame of reference for UK, but I know meetings are going to be the same and the people are going to be the same. So find a meeting, find a sponsor, and you'll be on your way. You can do this.

JAYJAY1987 SparkPoints: (9)
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4/2/15 6:50 P

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Hello again,

Sorry for my sporadic responses... as mentioned I've quite a lot on at the moment...

So over the last week I've been pretty much abstinent, then today one chocolate on my final day of a work placement (which I thought I could keep control of) has brought me back to square one, I've consumed so much this last week to make up for a week of abstinence, you wont be surprised to hear. I am powerless over food, and I want to feel in control of this demon that keeps beating me!!!

Sorry if I'm a little slow on the uptake here and asking the same questions again... but... here is the stuff I've bought and has arrived - 3 books:

-"Overeaters Anonymous 2nd edition"
-"The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of OA"
and
"OA BIG BOOK STUDY GUIDE FOR COMPULSIVE OVEREATERS" (Lawrie C.)

However, is the version of the "big book" I've bought the correct one? It appears to study the steps, and I'm not sure if this is the one I need to actually complete the steps. The one I've been directed to from OA.org.uk is the AA book - and other OA "Big Books" on amazon are priced at 999 ?

I think I really need to attend a meeting and get some proper support as I still feel a little lost if I'm honest. Sorry to be a pain. I think I'll try to get to a meeting soon.

Thank you all again for your time & support :)

Jay

CD4040639 Posts: 157
3/30/15 1:20 P

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Hello Jay,
Everyone else gave great advice and suggestions are great. I was just wondering where you are from.
I know that there is a very strong community in the Boston, Southern NH areas and I can give you some ideas of the meetings that are really strong.


JANINE8969's Photo JANINE8969 SparkPoints: (13,437)
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3/28/15 12:34 P

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Hi Jay! I agree with HORSEBOOKS. It will get easier and you have to remember that each of us in our illness of this disease is unique to them. Never compare your disease to another as each of us know how we have hit bottom or not. We don't all start at the same place but we come together because we have become powerless over this disease. It is in the admitting that we are powerless that finally starts the process of healing. Www.oa.org is a wonderful place to start with meetings, literature and you can tailor the meetings to fit in your time schedule.

Janine


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CD14626717 Posts: 348
3/25/15 7:17 P

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Hi, Jay. Good to hear from you again. The first thing you need to buy, if you haven't already, is the Big Book. Go to oa.org, go to the store and order a copy of the Big Book. You might also get a copy of the 12 steps 12 traditions. That's helped me, too. Read the intro to the Big Book and go to Chapter 4, We Agnostics. That may help you some. A lot, actually. Just like your plan of eating, your program is specific to you, so is your HP. I think as you progress in the program, you will become more comfortable with what or who your concept of a HP is. For some, it's nature. For others, it's a benevolent spirit. For lots of us, of course, the HP is God. But I promise you that for each of us who believes in God, our belief of who He is and our description of who He is will be very different.

I encourage you to go to The Recovery Group and sign onto the WTS (working the steps) study. That will start with Step 1 and go all the way through Step 12 in 3 months. It's really worth it, I promise. You will be sharing answers online with others who are at the same place you are--struggling with abstinence, with who your HP is, with what you tell people. Remember, the easiest thing to say to people when they offer you food is that your allergic. You really are, you know.

Everything is scary at first, but you will find folks who've been abstinent for 20-30-40 years and still go to meetings all the time. That's why they're still abstinent. Never forget, you shouldn't think about this as forever. This is one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

You can do this.

JAYJAY1987 SparkPoints: (9)
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3/25/15 7:03 P

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Hello again,

Thank you to each of you for replying, it's much appreciated...

Needless to say this last week has been a completely unsuccessful cycle of me kidding myself into thinking I can control this problem without any help and then stuffing my face by night time.

I am going to take the advice and attend a local meeting - I'm very busy at the moment with work and studies though and want to ask you all how you manage with abstinence at the very beginning? Is the beginning the most difficult? how long is it before it gets easier ? I worry about going to a meeting and having no time to put into place what I need to to stay abstinent, and this subsequently affecting my mood.

I also wonder if anyone could point me in the right direction as to where I can begin to read literature - I want to buy some books online so can anyone recommend any in particular?

in terms of what i said about how to keep it a 'secret'... I feel to begin with i need to get through the first few weeks on my own (with the support of other OA members via meetings/this forum etc)... but until I feel strong enough to be able to explain to others better I think it's something I will keep to myself for now. I hope in a few weeks, I will firstly tell my family who will be supportive. After that, I think colleagues and friends are whom I'm most worried about telling, and social situations which I am worried about how to handle. I suppose this will come with time.

Finally, I have to mention, although I completely respect others belief's, and myself am open minded to listening to others beliefs, I have to be honest and say I am totally non-religious. I always have been and i can't really see that changing. I know "higher power" doesn't necessarily have to relate to God, and people have a different concept of their own HP, however I am really struggling to grasp a concept of my own HP, and although I am open minded, wondered if anyone else who is an atheist could share their experiences and beliefs.

Again I really appreciate each of your time and support.

Thank you

Jay :)

RESTORETOSANITY's Photo RESTORETOSANITY Posts: 319
3/22/15 5:52 P

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I have some private issues and some not so private issues. Even at work, where I work with earthlings, they don't know I'm involved in a non-traditional spirituality, they don't know I'm clean in NA, but they sure noticed when I dropped 120 pounds! So they mostly know I stay away from sugar and other binge stuff cause that's what works for me, and I totally support others in whatever works for them.

In different areas of my life, people know me to varying degrees according to how safe I feel with them. You are working in mental health...are you counseling? Do you have supervision that delves into issues at all? Do you have food pushers that don't know how to leave you alone when it comes to "try these cookies?" Do you have a binge buddy? Do others in your family have addictions? All valid things to spend some time thinking about. You don't have to decide right away.

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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
3/19/15 10:58 P

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Hi again.
I forgot to answer your question about keeping your addiction a secret. For me, honesty with those around me has worked really well.

The first people I "came out" to were my in-laws. In fact, my kids did it for me, lol! My in-laws picked up the kids to go for a walk down to the Dairy Queen at the end of our street. On the way, my father-in-law asked the kids what kind of ice cream treat I would like. They both answered, "She won't have anything. She's in OA. That's like AA for fat people."

emoticon emoticon emoticon

Not entirely accurate, but it got the message across, and they didn't offer me any ice cream when they returned!

I have found saying things like, "No, thanks," when people offer me trigger foods to work well. If they continue to offer, I repeat my "No, thank you." Adding, "No, I'm fine, thank you. You're so sweet to offer, though." What are they gonna do, argue with me about them being sweet?
emoticon

I have been very very surprised and pleased to see that when I do choose to share my situation and my addiction, it is received very favourably most of the time. The odd time, I get a weird look and then silence, but for the most part, I get nods and honest questions about my program. And sometimes, I will find support in the places I would not have thought. For instance, I was sharing my sugar addiction with a colleague one day at a staff lunch. He nodded wisely and said something about knowing what it was like to have to place trust in a Higher Power to get through and deal with an addiction. Turns out, he is a clean and sober drug addict! Another woman nodded wisely as well when I talked to her and commented that before I was putting my trust and faith in food instead of God!

You can decide how and when you share your "secret" with others if and when you wish to.

I find now that if I can help another person who suffers from the same thing I do, I am very willing to share what I have learned.

cj

Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 3/22/2015 (21:09)
What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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CJBAGGINS's Photo CJBAGGINS Posts: 33,383
3/19/15 7:36 P

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I am so glad that you have found OA! And it is great that you have joined our sparkpeople OA team as well.

You have recognized yourself in finding out more about food addiction.

You seem nervous about what may lie ahead. I think that is very normal! Please keep in mind, though, that you will not travel the road alone. You will have the literature from many many years of 12 Step programs, you will have a sponsor, this team, and hopefully your very own home meeting from which to draw support. Most importantly, you will also have the help of your Higher Power guiding and helping you along the way.

Also, no one stays abstinent for more than One Day at a Time. Any more than that is too much. Some days, especially at the beginning, you may need to take one hour, or one minute at a time. You can do it for a minute, right?

You are wondering what to do first? I would suggest you visit oa.org to find a face to face meeting in your area.

Good luck to you!

cj

Edited by: CJBAGGINS at: 3/19/2015 (19:37)
What if we woke up tomorrow with only those things that we thanked God for today?


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CD14626717 Posts: 348
3/19/15 7:26 P

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Hi, Jay, and welcome! First, stop thinking of this as something you have to do for the rest of your life. This is something you do one day, one hour, one minute at a time, if that's what it takes. You turn to your Higher Power, get a sponsor, go to meetings, read the literature, and learn that what you have is a disease, not a self-control problem. I don't think you'd hate yourself if you had cancer, or restless leg syndrome, so don't hate yourself for being a compulsive overeater. Remember that your HP loves you and accepts you for exactly who you are. You don't have the right to do anything less.

Come here to the SP community often. Log your food. Log your exercise. Drink your water. If you can' attend OA meetings, then listen to the recordings. There's a wealth of information on the OA website, or on OA Hour of Power (OAHOP). There's also The Recovery Group where you can join different listserves, and do the working through the steps 3-month program every quarter.

You've made a big decision. You have discovered that you have a disease. Why you have it is immaterial. What you do about it will change the rest of your life.

HOORAY FOR YOU! emoticon

JAYJAY1987 SparkPoints: (9)
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3/19/15 6:33 P

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Hello all... brand new member here.... I'm 27, male, and am a 'healthy' weight (supposedly). I work in mental health and have experience of addiction (drug and alcohol) and know a tiny bit about the 12 step programme.

A few days ago I decided to research why I binge eat junk food in the way that I do, by searching for "i'm addicted to food". What I found in relation to OA absolutely astonished me as I read and realised I'm not alone... and describing it as an addiction really answered all of my questions in one go. I realised why I find it so difficult to abstain from such foods and why as soon as anything has passed my lips which shouldn't have, I cannot stop for days, even after long periods of 'abstinence'.

I have thought about nothing else for the last few days. I can't concentrate at work and am still binge eating on junk at every opportunity. I hate myself. And the thought of what I need to go through terrifies me! I don't know where to begin but I know I need to deal with this, since a young age I have had this unhealthy relationship with food and a good few years I have wondered more and more whether there is more to it than just being a 'foodie', or even greedy.

Around 5 years ago, for around a year (a really good, positive year for me), I joined a gym and was the most active I've ever been. During this year I was pretty much abstinent for the majority of the year, and I managed to reign in a binge session or cheat day pretty quickly (at the time they were cheat days or just bad days). Since though, I can very rarely go for more than 2 or 3 days without a binge, and there has been periods of a month or more when I have done nothing but gorge on junk.

I need help. but I don't know what to do! The thought of abstinence terrifies me as I know how difficult this is and after I admit it's an addiction it is something I have to fight for the rest of my life! I have suffered some of my own mental health problems (depression/anxiety) during recent years and this adds to my worries about commencing on the 12 step program.. I also wonder how people go through life keeping this a secret? Meals out with friends/work etc? Birthday's, celebrations, christmas?

I would really really be grateful for anyone's wide words, reassurance and guidance as to what I should do next?

Thank you all in advance !

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