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1/21/11 4:02 A

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I too can relate to the plane story. The last time I flew I hadn't quite hit my highest weight and I had to really suck it in to get the seatbelt fastened, as I didn't want to be embarrassed and ask for an extender. Since then my DH has gone on a few weekend trips to continuing ed for his job and even though I could have went with him for the cost of the airfare, I was afraid I wouldn't fit. He is going on one of these weekend to Boston in May and even though I know I would fit now, I am determined to be at least 25 lbs lighter by then to make it a more enjoyable experience.
I also agree with everything everyone before me has said. The main thing for me was I had to be ready to do it for myself. My Mom would say how worried about me she was but until I made that decision for myself, I wouldn't have succeeded.
Anyway, Welcome Shelly, this is a great team for any support or motivation you might need!

Shari - Somerset County, PA
Eastern Standard Time

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SASSYTHING52's Photo SASSYTHING52 Posts: 12,010
1/20/11 10:19 P

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i agree with dusty you do gain its so hard to mantain over 300

with God all things are possible im judy lets do this


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.DUSTY.'s Photo .DUSTY. Posts: 32,457
1/20/11 8:55 P

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The problem I see is that 99% of the people who weigh in our ranges just don't maintain if they give up. They gain.

I've given up lots of times but the alternative is I won't be able to move and I'll become housebound and there won't be anyone to fetch and carry for me. (I'm serious, not joking.)

Come Join Our Team 300 lbs.! Plus (Leader)
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THANKFULLYME Posts: 24
1/20/11 8:38 P

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I can relate to many posts on here.

In my life, I have at one time or another tried to lose weight, and successfully lost it, only to gain some back; more often I've ignored my weight totally and focused on the things I was good at (my career, school), or a family member.

What is really helping me this time is realizing that if I am going to succeed at weight loss, I actually need to put some time and energy into it. If I am to succeed at taking off the pounds, I need to devote as much time now as I would have had to if I had done it earlier in my life. I need to make up for every time I didn't exercise or talk a walk when I was younger.

While in some ways, that may seem burdensome, to me its just a realization that everything I've been successful at I've put time and energy into. I've never put time and energy into myself physically - it was always one of the not important pieces of my life. I never played sports in school, because I wasn't good at it.

Why, oh why should I bother doing something that I'm not good at?

My answer now is that I can learn to be better. Its just going to take time and energy, and for me, that time is starting now.

I hope you find the path that is right for you. Now may or may not be the right time, but it won't take any more or less energy than it ever would have - and it won't take any more or less effort if you decide to wait a bit.



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.DUSTY.'s Photo .DUSTY. Posts: 32,457
1/20/11 8:28 P

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I've seen this saying here around SparkPeople:

Being fat is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
You choose your hard.



Come Join Our Team 300 lbs.! Plus (Leader)
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CD7716803 Posts: 297
1/20/11 6:39 P

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Hi Josie- I can so relate to your last paragraph "that it is harder to live in the hurt and shame of obesity than to fight for every pound that we lose.....Only you can decide where you will put your energy." I never thought of it quite like that before but you said it so well. I can relate to your plane ticket story. I did the same thing. A company that I worked for a few years ago was offering an all expense paid trip as an incentive reward to their sales department to surpass their goals for the year. I did all the work, but when it came time to get the reward, I was too embarrassed by my size to take the trip. I guess I felt like I really didn't deserve it. Not because I didn't do the work, but because of my size. I lied about why I couldn't go so the company wouldn't know the real reason. This is the first time I have admitted doing that. Boy, obesity really does effect everything that you do. Thank you for putting that out there.

165JOSIE SparkPoints: (0)
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1/20/11 12:04 P

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Hi Shelley. Any practical advice I would have given you has already been said below, so I wont repeat it. I would just like to add that when I made my decision to join spark this week, I reminded myself that it wont be any harder to spend energy on counting calories and moving my backside than it is to feel so out of control, to suffer with sore knees and back, to feel the shame of being the largest size in the plus size stores, to continue to miss out on opportunities because I allow my weight to disable me. For me, the straw that broke the camel's back was when my fit husband bought me a plane ticket to visit my best friend and I GAVE THE TICKET UP because I was too afraid that I would get on the plane and find that I don't fit in the seats. Writing that down for the first time is so painful, but there are million little stories just like it from throughout my life as an obese woman. I refuse to add any more!

I truly believe that it is harder to live in the hurt and shame of obesity than to fight for every pound that we lose... and that is saying a lot, since we all know that losing weight is bloody hard work. I choose to put my work into living healthy, rather than into suffering. Only you can decide where you will put your energy. If you decide that now is the time to redefine yourself, I know you can do it!

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CD7716803 Posts: 297
1/19/11 12:56 P

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Hi Shelley, My name is Shelley. I'm in my 40s and over 300lbs too. I can also relate to what you are saying. Everyone is giving such great ideas. There is a lot of support on this team. I agree you haven't quite given up yet because you took the time to post your frustration. I commend you for doing that. You need a "success." Start small. Pick one thing you can do from this website and do it everyday for a certain length of time so you can start establishing a track record of "success." For example, I am tracking my food everyday for the month, not forever just for a month. This is the only thing that I am required to do to be successful. Doesn't matter what I eat or don't eat as long as I track it everyday. You see I need to see success in something concerning my weight and the "act" of tracking is my starting success. I have felt like a failure for so long. I am on day 19 in this challenge. Some days I have eaten in my food range and some days I don't but that's OK because the food is not the challenge. The challenge is tracking my food and in that, I am a success! It is really rewarding to feel I am doing something positive. Now to some people it may seem like not much, but to me this is huge. I am starting to see that I am getting an extra reward for this tracking...I am actually loosing some weight and my confidence is starting to build. Who knows maybe I will continue this challenge another month. May be the suggestion of picking one challenge will work for you too. Start small, don't try to do everything all at once. I wish you the best and please don't quit, you have people here that care! emoticon

TRAVELNISTA's Photo TRAVELNISTA SparkPoints: (0)
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1/19/11 12:50 P

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emoticon you haven't given up because you are here. Most importantly you are where you need to be with friends going through the same struggles you are.

Don't look back and beat yourself up with past mistakes. Treat this as Day One and start over one baby step at a time.

The best thing you can do is Spark as much as possible. Look around and see what other teams will motivate or get you to your goals and also join a few of them. The more you Spark the better you will do. To be successful you need to participate.
emoticon



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CD7289565 Posts: 1,559
1/19/11 11:31 A

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Well, you have started by joining this site. Believe me when I tell you that at one point I felt the same way. I thought there was no hope, that I had been fat my whole life (I was also on diets from as early as elementary school) and was destined to live out my life that way and die that way. I was so negative and scared of failing that I quit even trying.

My life has totally changed over the last year. If you had told me then I'd lose weight and actually enjoy eating healthy and exercising, I would have said you were nuts!

I was also eating out of control at one point, and felt resentful that other people ate whatever they wanted, but I was the one with the weight problem. I thought I had to give up my fav foods and that made me feel angry. I also had to look at food in a different way, and not live my life around it. Food is fuel and we're supposed to eat to live, not live to eat, which is what I was doing, and it was robbing me of my life.

The thing I have learned is that this is about me. Not anyone else. I am the only one who can change this.

I would start small and find something you can work on changing first. For me it was my soda addiction. I was drinking tons of them and gaining a lot of my weight that way. I decided I was going to stop and drink water and when that became a habit, I started trying to eat more fruit for snacks and stuff. Then I started trying more veggies, I cut out most white bread and ate whole grains. I started out exercising slowly, with something I could do, which was walking. It can't all be done at once. If you try, you will feel overwhelmed and give up, and I had done this many times before. One can only sustain a diet for so long before they cave and go back to eating junk.

I have lost 66 lbs since april, and I am not going to lie, it hasn't been easy. Losing weight is not easy, but it's worth it. I still eat ice cream, pizza, etc, I just work treats into my calorie allotment and make it a goal to eat as healthy as I can each day. I do not eat perfectly, I doubt many people do, but each healthy choice you make will make your life better.

No one can tell you what exactly what will work for you, it's a learning process and something that is going to take a long time. Once you accept that it won't happen overnight, the stress of trying to lose x amount lbs by a certain time is gone.

I would figure out what your trigger foods are and keep them out of the house. This works for me. These are foods you tend to overeat. For me it's ice cream and cookies and stuff like that. I just can't have it around all the time, or I will want to eat it. I plan my grocery list around what I want to make for the week. This saves time and money. I get healthy snacks and fit in exercise when I can. It has made a difference. I am healthier, feel better, and am amazed at what my body is able to do now that I am taking care of it.

The most important thing is to believe in yourself. Know that you CAN do it. Don't be afraid of making mistakes along the way, because you will. If you fall down, get up and keep going.

Hang in there, and come here for support. I find that the more I'm involved with other sparkers and the boards, the more motivated I am. emoticon

THOMS1's Photo THOMS1 Posts: 14,370
1/19/11 11:23 A

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emoticon to the team! Listen to the people before me as they really know what they are talking about. Never give up!!! Like they said track your food, there is nothing like bringing it home then to see just what you're eating. Start with that. We are here for you!

Becky


"Anything is possible, It's your choice whether or not you choose to make IT happen."




"If a man really wants something he will find a way, if he doesn't he will find an excuse." Stephen Dolley, Jr.





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CD3011801 Posts: 16,950
1/19/11 9:46 A

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Hi and welcome to the team.I am soon to be 42 and i was 360 pounds when i started.It is a choice that needs to be made.Like and Alcoholic you need to be ready.Take baby step.Start with logging your food and drink 8 cups of water that is it.Then when this isnt so hard try exercising for 10 min. each day.
When this is all good then try eating a few fruits and veggies.If you start by an all or nothing mentality you wont succeeed.I never say i cant have something.The minute i say i cant have it i binge on it.I have anything i want just healthier versions or smaller portions.If i can do it you can i promise.I am here for you iif you need to talk.Lisa

TRACYZABELLE's Photo TRACYZABELLE SparkPoints: (0)
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1/19/11 2:00 A

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no such thing as giving up! We are here for yoU!

Welcome to the 300+team. 300 is such a BIG number but if we persevere, focus and motivate one another we can reach our goals!
We have so much of life ahead of us and it is so much better to work on ourselves and reach for our goals.
We can do it-- we are worth the effort!
All we can do is take it one day, one bite, one pound at a time.
I am looking forward to supporting you in your quest for better health and a happier future.

TracYZ emoticon

One bite, one day, one pound at a time. Remember you are worth the effort!


Tracy


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BECKYB73's Photo BECKYB73 Posts: 897
1/18/11 11:04 P

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First, you haven't given up. You're here, plugging into this community...that's not giving up. Second, get on the scale, find out exactly where you stand...you'll want to know this when you've become successful and lost weight....you're going to want a "Lost X# pounds". Finally, start thinking about making small changes to your day and implement them.

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better." ~Maya Angelou




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SHRINKIN.LADY's Photo SHRINKIN.LADY Posts: 5,172
1/18/11 10:55 P

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This may sound like the opposite of what everyone is saying, but it isn't.

Sometimes we make a decision and then spend a lot of energy beating ourselves up for it or fighting what we already decided to do.

If what everyone else wrote doesn't sound like the solution (and it is all really GREAT advice!) then, maybe you have already decided to give up, and you are just beating yourself up and fighting the decision you have already made.

If this sounds like a lot of hogwash, happily skip the rest of this post. But if it makes you go "yeah!" then simply take responsibility for the fact that you already decided to give up at some point in the past.

One thing that humans ALWAYS have is freedom of choice, and if for whatever reason you made that choice, it is totally OK! It is your right to have decided that. It is YOUR body, after all, and nobody has the right to tell you what to do with it!

Then, you can just decide, if and when you are ready, to try again! That way, your deciding to start is a clean decision, unaffected by all of the frustration from the past. All of the suggestions on this thread are excellent ways to start. It's up to you...

And you don't have to be fighting an old decision to give up that you were pretending to yourself that you hadn't made yet, if that makes any sense at all.

Lisa

~Lisa~

Back again, post-bariatric surgery; because I still have so much to learn and to share!


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SASSYTHING52's Photo SASSYTHING52 Posts: 12,010
1/18/11 9:45 P

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some days i too feel like giving up but i look in mirror and say i like what i see i dont wanna give up

with God all things are possible im judy lets do this


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MABEAZ's Photo MABEAZ Posts: 396
1/18/11 9:40 P

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Shelly, you have come to the right place and made the first step. I too have battled this weight thing my entire life. I turned fifty this past December and I had just hit my all time high of 316. My doctor was suggesting I consider surgery but that was simply not an option for me. I have been on and off sparks since 2006. This time, I just committed to it. Now, it is totally addicting and love the challenge. I find the key is moving. You don't have to do a lot to start, just move. I do squats or march in place when I am standing in front of the copier at work. I do leg lifts when sitting at my desk. I make time for 10 minute cardio videos during the day. I just make it a point to not be still, even when I am still. If I can do this, so can you. Just place one foot forward and then keep moving. If you fall, just get right back up and go again. When you need encouragement, just say so. We are all here together!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Myra Beasley
Without God, life makes no sense.

Starting weight: 328
Goal weight: 165

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials." - Chinese Proverb


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SHANTELLE2010's Photo SHANTELLE2010 Posts: 74
1/18/11 9:33 P

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You haven't completely given up, you are here, on this site, trying. Give yourself credit for that. I have had a hard time losing this weight and often feel like giving up. What I find the most helpful on this site is that it tells me what to eat. Next to your water intake make sure you eat what's on your meal plan and I am POSITIVE you will have a great first week. Just remember you are worth it!! We are all here for you.
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LILACANDLILY's Photo LILACANDLILY Posts: 210
1/18/11 9:15 P

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You've made the first step!!!

I just started trying to get my water in first. Trying to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day for a week was challenging enough while I figured out the rest of the system.

I, too have "dieted" for years. You probably know what to do it is just a matter of getting started AGAIN.

I also find it helps me to get a good breakfast. If I skimp on breakfast, I feel like I am starving the rest of the day.

I know eat the Kashi go lean crunch with blueberries and am good.

We are in this together.

Lori

Lori

It's a process....and this is not a race!


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SHELLYUT's Photo SHELLYUT Posts: 987
1/18/11 9:14 P

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Besides the name:)we have a lot in common. I just turned 40 a few months ago and about a year and a half ago I was 370lbs. It has been a lot slower going than I was hoping for but as long as you don't give up you can do it. There will be difficult days but you just put those behind you and start the next day fresh. For me it was just being sick of being fat. Tired of huffing and puffing walking from my car to the store. I had started "diets" in the past with prompting from my kids and husband. It wasn't until I decided I was tired of hating myself and that I deserved to treat myself better that it has started coming off. Even if you aren't eating healthy track it anyway. Once you look back you will be able to see baby steps that you can take to get going. Light instead of full fat, smaller portions, less salt, more water, etc. emoticon YOU ARE WORTH IT AND DESERVE TO BE HAPPY. I KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU HAVE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE HERE THAT ARE HERE TO HELP AND WANT YOU TO SUCCEED. emoticon

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SHELLY5994 SparkPoints: (0)
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1/18/11 8:45 P

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Hi all..what a comfort to know there are other people out there over 300 lbs. Someone suggested this group to me so I am giving it a try. I weigh about 350 lbs and am 43. I have never been a "normal" weight but have been on diets since I was in 5th grade and told i had to go. I have done every diet imaginable, even the diets that say "don't diet, make it a lifestyle". I am to the point where i purposefully eat what i know i shouldn't. if i even try to write down food or track it i go into a spiral and overeat even more. I have completly given up, eating anything and everything i crave, or just want, and am gaining weight by the minute. i know im digging myself into an early grave but i don't know how to stop eating or how to start losing. I have no idea where to even start...Help!

One shoe can change your life.
-Cinderella


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