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6/8/13 11:38 P

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Welcome, Melissa! I really feel for you and for the isolation you feel down there in Costa Rica and with so many responsibilities. Hopefully, you'll find some solace here on Spark, as this, too, is a community of like-minded people you can join. I think many of us came here with a combination of challenges not unlike your own, even if we may live in the countries of our birth.

I bet you'll find that as you tackle one of the challenges you mentioned - the one you find most urgent and easiest to address right off the bat - the better you'll feel, because the changes you make in that area will transfer, in a positive way, to the other aspects of your life. These are all interdependent issues in that when you improve one, the others almost immediately begin to respond.

You have a great deal with which to cope, but you sound very much aware of the changes you'd like to start making. You might also make a list of all your wonderful strengths and assets - and it sounds like they are numerous, too - so you can see why it's so worthwhile to fight for such a valuable, lovable person! Cynthia mentioned finding a therapist or psychiatrist (the latter especially if you think medication might possibly help), and I think that would be a terrific starting place, provided you've got access to some English-speaking people in those areas (chances are, you do, or perhaps your Spanish is good enough that you'd feel comfortable communicating in that language).

It's good to meet you here!

"If you're going through hell, keep going."

- Winston Churchill

 current weight: 120.0 
6/3/13 3:10 P

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emoticon emoticon Melissa! WELCOME to SP and to our team. I am glad you are with us.

You certainly have a lot on your plate. Take a slow deep breathe and exhale. It sounds like you need a little bit of pampering with "me" time. Not sure how possible it is given all that you have to do, but it would be great if you could do something really nice for yourself...a bubble bath, paint your toenails, read fave book or anything that makes you feel good about yourself and if you have spiritual beliefs this is a good time to reach out to your higher power.

You ask a very good question as to where do u start? I am no expert, but I have found for me that dealing with the anxiety and depression first and foremost helps me get everything else into place. Do you have a psychiatrist or therapist? Would you consider finding them if not? A good therapist can help you begin to work on the issues of low self esteem and how to have better coping skills to manage the anxiety and depression. Weightloss will come with time. Try focusing on one healthy habit a day for a drinking 8 cups of water each day or tracking all food, or taking 10 minute walk...whatever seems manageable for you. Practice the healthy habit and add another as you feel comfortable. Baby steps is a great way to build confidence.

I am happy to help and hope that I have been helpful. Please keep in touch and let us know how you are doing and of course feel free to ask for more help. This is a kind and compassionate team.

God Bless,
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon mm

Cynthia~~~ A follower of Jesus Christ!!

Proverbs 3;5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; acknowledge him, and He will make your paths straight.

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6/3/13 2:28 P

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emoticon Welcome, Melissa!


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"We must become the change we want to see."
(Mahatma Gandhi)

 current weight: 111.0 
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6/2/13 7:28 P

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Hi Everyone, My name is Melissa and I have just joined Spark to start what I hope will be a shift in my life. I am looking to make manageable changes to get to a more stable ME. I want to ask for all the help anyone is willing to give because I am at a loss as to where to begin.

A short summary is that I am a stay at home mom, that homeschools and lives in Costa Rica. My husband is gone for the majority of the year which leaves me as a mostly single mother. Some challenges that I am dealing with are constant anxiety about managing all the roles I have to take on. (parent, Financial Manager, Teacher, Wife, Life Planner, Work manager for my husband, Secretary, and Household manager). These feelings are not aided by the Isolation of living in a foreign country with no family or support system.

Depression is another constant companion, stemming from feelings of inadequacy, poor self image, marriage challenges and self doubt about my parenting/teaching ability. I know this is a lot to dump on a group of strangers but at this point I have no where else to turn. My question is what to try and tackle first, my depression, anxiety, low self esteem or my weight? I feel if I try to get ahold of all at once that I will quickly give up from the enormity of the challenge. I do well with eating and exercise but as soon as other areas rear their ugly head I fall right off the wagon and hate myself for it.

I hate to whine and recognize that I am no different or worse then the millions of other mothers who are facing the same challenges but I don't want to be this way anymore. I am tired of feeling like garbage and want to fell alive instead of just going through the motions. I am taking out my frustrations, disappointments, and personal failures on my children and they are the most wonderful people in my life.

This is genuinely a call for help to point me in the right direction to help become the mother, wife and person I really want to be.

Thank you.

 current weight: 190.0 
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