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LARISSA238's Photo LARISSA238 Posts: 9,525
5/15/16 11:11 P

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BB if you have a friend at work you can ask that would be great. If not, start with small contributions and work your way up from there. Once people start getting used to hearing from you then it might be easier to make bigger contributions. I don't know if that would work, but it's an idea.

~Rissa, AKA Diane

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WALLOWA's Photo WALLOWA Posts: 2,776
5/15/16 11:21 A

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Can you ask your supervisor? After long years of coping, I'm learning to look for multiple options before I make a decision, especially about this kind of thing. It is rarely "either/or".

Ideally your supervisor can help you determine how to make contributions without getting feathers ruffled, but sometimes they just don't have that skill.

Sometimes in my case I'd have an outlier concern from the rest of the group --

In your case.... try this exercise when you have a contribution to make - make a list of 6 reasonable OR unreasonable ways you can approach the topic and pick one. It doesn't have to take much time: here's an example: 1) ask a question, 2) volunteer to get more info on an area where there may be a gap, 3) scream, 4) change the subject, 5) go along with consensus, and 6) come up with a "we could also!" statement.

My choice depending on the topic (now that I've learned more) is probably 2.

You can come up with your own! It is so hard working with folks especially when the mood is swinging up or down (I have type II long cycling).

If your organization has an employee assistance program, I'd take advantage of it, if only to get a reference. Honestly, the thing that has helped the most with my interpretation of other people's actions at work or anywhere is a couple sessions of EMDR... it's actually a trauma treatment, but it reduces the BP intensity just because it takes away some of the perseverating. (And until I recently retired, I had a prof. job also. Really like the retirement gig, but it takes a while to get there.)

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5/15/16 10:54 A

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Hello. New here. I am a professional person who has trouble getting along with people at work sometimes. If I go along with the consensus, people are disappointed w my lack of contribution. If I stick my neck out, people get irritated.

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