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8/3/13 3:54 P

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Eastern North Carolina

 current weight: 266.0 
KIMBERLY0916's Photo KIMBERLY0916 SparkPoints: (117,231)
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8/3/13 2:54 P

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hi there welcome.

some of these topics we've covered in some other threads but it won't hurt anyone to refresh the conversation here :-)

not sure where to start. i think i'll attempt to keep it short and say

... if certain meds work for you and keep you stable and happy then keep taking them
... if you're work is a good fit for you and it's not stressful or making you unhappy and the people are cool/fun and the work is constant .. then work as long as you feel comfortable
... eat what works for you

i was dx bipolar with anxiety back in 2003 but years leading up to that i had self-medicated with alcohol and wild behavior. started meds and had terrible reactions to most all of them including suicidal and homicidal thoughts and behaviors and weight gain and erratic thinking and actions. wasn't all just from the meds but a big swirly combination of things.

i managed to graduate with a BS Computer Science and got hired a few places. but i was so good at whatever the job was that I was too efficient and never had enough work to do to keep me busy or interested. what would take other ppl a week to do I would have done in 10 minutes. eventually i moved to Pasadena CA and worked my way up from tech support at a software company to a coordinator to a product manager within 3 years. then we got bought out and our workforce slashed in half for profit margins and our budgets for development went to nil. therefore once again bored and miserable and although taking psych meds was also self-medicating with a few things to stay happy.

mid-2010 the breakdown happened. was no longer happy or healthy with anything or anyone. by july i quit and moved home aug 3rd. major struggles switching to sedentary lifestyle. gained a ton of weight. bored. miserable. unhappy. and no one and nothing was helping.

late 2012 i decided i didn't want to be in a coffin and with a lot of physical injuries going on I couldn't eat much for a few months. lost some weight. and triggered well hey this isn't the best way to do it let's see what i can do if i try.

also... hardest thing for me to accept was the realization that a decade of pure reliance on medicines and medical professionals was pure crap. the doctors and therapists here didn't give a d-mn about me or my health. it was here shut up and take this cocktail of meds and come back in 3+ months. so even though i was once a chemistry physics major it was now time to not try to live better with chemistry or chemical emotions.

therefore here we are in 2013. haven't been on psych meds since end of 2011. was once up to 20+ pills per day and now barely take 2 per day. have lost over 70 pounds via better nutrition (not perfect by any means and yes i still indulge in alcohol and buffalo wings etc). i feel happier healthier and more stable now than i have in the past 10+ years. i have a long list of dx from bipolar, fibromyalgia, to severe joint and muscle pain, migraines, anxiety, etc... my IBS is getting better, my GERD is almost non-existent, if i move around then the FM and pains are minimal, etc .... so i'm having better results with natural and nutrition than i did with chemicals.

my weight is now down to where i was in 2002 which is mind-boggling to me. i'm still sporadic with fitness training or formal exercise but i'm kind of lazy. i do stretch and do small things throughout each day which is really important to not get stiff and sore.

kind of off track here ...

uhm no kids for me for a multitude of reasons that could fill a long novel.

not ready to go back to work yet but currently don't need to bc most everything right now is covered by HUD, food stamps, medicaid, etc ... i've gotten to do some super awesome things this year like kayaking in a biobay in Puerto Rico, last minute trip to SXSW in Austin bc i won a contest, seeing concerts, traveling to San Fran and LA, etc...

with all that said ... each person's journey is their own. it's trial and error to figure out what works for you

How are you measuring your year? Speeding tickets, cups of coffee, love


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8/2/13 9:26 P

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I'm a high functioning bipolar and have not been able to find a suitable support group or anyone in person who is also a high functioning bipolar. So, it can get kind of lonely.

I'm an HR professional with a master's degree. I have a full-time job and have managed somehow to always work. I fear that someday I may not be able to and that I'll lose my independence because of it. But, that's just a fear. I would like to know what people's experiece have been at work with coworkers and supervisors, and also the experience of just trying to hold down a job/getting to work and getting the job done.

I don't have any children and don't have any plans to have any. I wouldn't want to do so on my meds anyway or pass this wonderful genetic illness on.

I struggle with frequent cycling and too many med changes - extremely destablizing.

As far as weight. I've been lucky in that I've not gained a lot of weight from the meds. That said, I do not have the same relationship with food that I had before meds. I can no longer rely on my body/mind to tell me when, what, and how much to eat. The signals are messed up from the meds. Before, I just couldn't eat more than I needed and I always maintained a healthy weight. So, this is somewhat new for me and has been a constant struggle not matter the meds I try.

I hope to learn from other's experiences.


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