SparkPeople Survivors of Abuse Team Messageboard For those who have survived any kind of abuse in their life; who need support, motivation, and encouragement. SparkPeople Survivors of Abuse Team Messageboard Self-sabotage After losing some weight, I feel good about myself and dress in clothes that fit my shape. However, as soon as a man looks at me or says anything I immediately want to eat and dress in baggy clothes. In my head, I try to tell myself that I am safe, but I haven’t been able to break down this barrier. Am I alone in this? (Survivor of sexual abuse) Sat, 25 Jul 2020 01:12:03 EST I don't wanna go “I don’t want to go.” <BR> <BR> So, after four years of legal and more financial harassment and using our child as a weapon (and an entire marriage of him using both of my children as hostages), my divorce is finally over. <BR> <BR> We have 50% custody because I can’t prove the abuse because the cops never filed reports... and he’s smarter than me by far. <BR> And despite the fact that at year three, he made our son report me for abuse, which the courts also didn’t believe. <BR> <BR> So, ... Thu, 23 Jul 2020 17:32:58 EST Product recommendations Members sometimes share favorite foods, tools, personal care, or housekeeping products. So here is a place to gather them. My first ones are foods. I'm sharing a link to a blog I wrote about favorite salads available at Fred Meyer and Safeway (though my closest ones don't have all 3) as well as my favorite at Trader Joe's. <BR> <link><BR>ublic_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=6<BR>640657 </link> <BR> <BR> And here are two items I especially like at Tra... Thu, 11 Jun 2020 14:43:03 EST Hi everyone I lived with undiagnosed PTSD for over 20 years. Started treatment 6 months ago. Just last Friday I had an " ah ha" moment - I finally understood, really truly, what my therapist has been saying about the trauma response. I recognized it in my thought pattern about my knee, which was really flaring up at the time. It was a revolutionary moment. Like, as I was crossing the street, I recognized in an instant how so many aspects of my life have been yoked to the trauma response. So, now I can tr... Thu, 22 Aug 2019 23:14:40 EST Hello I am new to this team, I struggle with PTSD and cope with emotional eating. For me, food, weight, and trauma are very intertwined which is why it has been such a struggle to lose weight. <BR> <BR> I have great supports- I have a state assigned social worker, a therapist who I see twice a week, clubhouse membership, psychiatrist, trauma yoga, domestic violence support group, rape support group, SMART Recovery, and more. I am looking at joining TOPS and another rape support group in the futu... Mon, 13 May 2019 09:24:04 EST New...St ruggling with Childhood Trauma & more Hi everyone. <BR> <BR> I've seen this group for a long time, but have put off joining. A lot of stuff I haven't posted with online groups of friends. <BR> <BR> Cynthia here, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety since about 10 years old. I am a very emotional person (struggle to keep emotions in check), but I grew up in a family where emotions were not really allowed to be shown. (When I refer to family, I mostly am referring to my mother's side relatives. ) <BR> <BR> I grew... Sun, 3 Mar 2019 16:59:33 EST Just say hi.. Emoticon <em>213</em> Tue, 24 Apr 2018 22:21:53 EST How To Grow while Recovering from Abuse Thoughts of OLDEROWL for Spark members who had a difficulty dealing with life due to emotional and physical abuse and/or abandonment in his or her early life, but are now on a path to discovery and growth. <BR> <BR> 1) Our journey in life was sometimes very difficult, and because of what we have experienced, we are tempted to let our past and others dictate the path we take in our current lives. But we can overcome our past as we grow. Ones journey is his or hers alone. One must give themse... Tue, 6 Mar 2018 17:02:54 EST What did you spin for the team today? <em>242</em> on your DD (double-digit) spin, Chelsea! You mentioned it on the wall, before I created this thread. The other 2 teams I co-lead have such a thread, and members sometimes enjoy sharing their luck--especially those DDs! <BR> <em>100</em> <BR> Team spins are often one of the last things I do; I'll report mine later, after I take them. Sun, 13 Aug 2017 22:05:46 EST Today's NSV, my wedding band My husband got served with his divorce papers today. So, I thought, why not see if I've lost enough weight to get my wedding band off for the first time since our younger son was born? <BR> <BR> <img src=""> <BR> <BR> There we go! <BR> <BR> This won't be easy. He's already trying to minimize everything and claim our relationship has been nothing but sunshine and roses and he's the poor victim in all of this. ..... Tue, 11 Apr 2017 17:44:57 EST 4th Quarter Challenge This was actually the title of a blog I wrote last night: <link><BR>urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=6244428 </link> <BR> <BR> We are now in the last 3 months of the year. So I will invite you to do some thinking and planning here with me about what you want to have done by the time you get to 12/31. I don't want any of us to look back from 1/1/17 and think "I really wish I had ..." <BR> <BR> Please be clear, I am *not* inviting anyone--including me--to... Sat, 1 Oct 2016 19:48:21 EST Intro / Mini Me Story HI Yall, <BR> <BR> Im Lu and im soo glad I found this group for I have been abused for along time from an aunt ( whos' Bipolar) to my husband who uses what my aunt vented to him about me and throws it in my face when we are in a heated argument and that's abusive and he doesn't know that hes doing it and that it is abuse. Ive been married to him for 4 yrs now. Other than that I am an awesome fun person to hang w and get to know! im super creative love the outdoors love to tan inside and out... Thu, 4 Aug 2016 15:33:13 EST Do you practice gratitude? Great article on Gratitude--how it helps & how to foster it. <link><BR>s_articles.asp?id=1541 </link> Mon, 10 Aug 2015 10:43:43 EST grow up with food used as power? Did anyone else grow up with food being held from them as a power play? Fri, 29 May 2015 11:23:23 EST Hi. New to the team Looking for support as I try to live in the present given the past. Want to be positive and live with a positive attitude. The past has really caused me to be quite negative. It is draining on me and others in my life. <BR> Thanks <BR> Kay Wed, 25 Feb 2015 14:20:35 EST Protect yourself from scams and fraud I guess this is a newer one, but more prevalent during tax prep season, supposedly from the "Criminal Investigation Division" which actually exists as part of the IRS, but the real one will mail you a notice, they don't call. Read about the top IRS scams here: <BR> <link><BR>0-ways-avoid-fraud </link> <BR> and how to prevent fraud from the FTC: <BR> <link><BR>s-the-%E2%80%9CDirty-Dozen%E2%80%9D-Ta<BR>x-Scams-for-20... Sat, 7 Feb 2015 12:32:01 EST Hi everyone! My name is Heather and I am a 34 year old mom of 1. My son is 7 and has aspergers syndrome, my husband is a truck driver and is out 2 weeks at a time, and my mom (who lives with us) was just recently diagnosed with cancer. Life around here is pretty stressful right now and I don't get alot of time to focus on working on me. When I'm not stressing out about everyone else I like to play video games, mostly sim type games or tycoon games.I am also going back to school to get my high school diplo... Tue, 20 Jan 2015 02:43:24 EST Holidays my way I thought I'd toss this out to see if anyone wants to do some general contemplating or specific planning around what they want to experience or accomplish on any special day. If you have a tendency to get stressed trying to match some idealized notion of how you should spend or observe your holidays, or if you have a pattern of overeating or drinking too much, or find yourself getting depressed because your own finances or family aren't cooperating with your expectations or desires, consider... Thu, 27 Nov 2014 23:12:39 EST Hello, I am new. I am 10 months out of a 25 year abuse marriage. Over the last 2 months I have slowly begun to come out of my grief and shame. I found a good counselor and am beginning a small woman's group called, Healing Trauma. I isolate a lot but am beginning to step back out in life. This is the first time in more years than I can count that I am starting to care for myself. I am meditating, getting some nightmare free sleep, and starting to exercise.I'm not working right now but I look forward to findin... Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:30:11 EST Support Needed (Starting my Life Over) Hi Everyone, <BR> I am an adult survivor of childhood abuse, and am working hard this year to start my life over. I have gotten married this year, lost 25 pounds (and counting!), moved out on my own, and will be learning to drive for the first time in my adult life. I was belittled so much when I was younger, and told that I was stupid and made to feel incapable of doing anything right---so, learning to drive is a huge step for me. Anyone willing to cheer me on and support me please add me a... Sat, 13 Sep 2014 18:09:17 EST I pledge to do for me Practicing self-care & honoring commitments to ourselves can be challenging. So here's a thread to help us develop accountability for our own well-being. I would specifically recommend *not* making huge or grandiose promises about suddenly practicing perfect habits of eating, exercise, or making extreme progress toward any type of goal. Rather, what's a small change you could make or a small step in the right direction? <BR> <BR> A lesson from vacation is that I need more balance in my li... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 23:14:15 EST Finally Free sorry put in wrong spot Tue, 10 Jun 2014 15:01:27 EST Oprah/Chopra meditation starts 4-14-14 I copied this from today's "It starts tomorrow" email from Deepak and Oprah: <BR> <BR> Tomorrow we take the first step of our 21-Day Meditation Experience, Finding Your Flow. <BR> <BR> We are honored that you have chosen to take this life-changing journey with us. During our time together, you’ll discover how to experience and influence your own energy flow, as we share an inner guide for transforming your life. <BR> <BR> There are links to: <BR> -- Download a free door hanger: “Silence p... Sun, 13 Apr 2014 20:54:15 EST What are you grateful for? I've been reminded several times recently that it is helpful to express gratitude. By acknowledging the positives in our life, our attention shifts from what we don't like to our many joys, large & small--and invites more blessings and abundance into our lives. So I invite you to share something--or several things--for which you are thankful. <BR> <BR> Today I'm grateful to have my sister close enough to visit. <BR> <BR> I'm grateful she drove up yesterday so we could share lunch, try on ... Sun, 9 Mar 2014 13:48:02 EST FORGIVENESS quote(s) <em>88</em> <BR> <BR> "SINCERE FORGIVNESS ISN'T COLOURED WITH EXPECTATION THAT THE OTHER PERSON APOLOGISE OR CHANGE. DON'T WORRY WHETHER OR NOT THEY FINALLY UNDERSTAND YOU. LOVE THEM AND RELEASE THEM. LIFE FEEDS BACK TRUTH TO PEOPLE IN ITS OWN WAY AND TIME." <BR> <BR> BY SARA PADDISON Thu, 16 Jan 2014 18:16:18 EST Suggestion Box I didn't know if you all know about the Spark Suggestion Box: <BR> <link><BR>uggestion_box.asp </link> <BR> that can also be found by clicking the Help link at the top right of most or all Spark pages, and then on the right side. <BR> <BR> I just suggested (again, I think) that just as you can earn points by commenting on blogs, it would be nice to earn points for commenting on pages and giving goodies, since it is the support and encouragement of our ... Sun, 3 Nov 2013 14:46:57 EST Vent, about lack of support I wrote this as a blog entry but decided that maybe I'd better post it here. <BR> <BR> Yesterday my old dog who has kidney problems, artrhitis and who is deaf, got very very ill. We went to the vet. Then in the middle of the night we had an episode of trouble with our upstairs neighbour, ending up calling the police (I did write about these events in my blog). <BR> <BR> So... I phoned my parents to tell them about these experiences. <BR> <BR> My father answered the phone, I told him the... Thu, 26 Sep 2013 07:54:39 EST Free meditation challenge There's a new Oprah & Chopra meditation challenge (free, 21 days online) beginning August 5, on Miraculous Relationships. Register at <link><BR>ome </link> <BR> Anyone care to join me? <em>135</em> Sat, 20 Jul 2013 16:20:27 EST Codependency Does anyone have any good resources on codependency? I have recently found myself being very codependent with a new guy I am seeing. <BR> I grew up with an alcoholic/addict mother, a borderline sister, and an angry father. I am not 24 living by myself. I feel as though I have made strives putting up healthy borders with my family. I suppose I have a hard time connecting with someone in an intimate way without having these issues with codependency. <BR> For example, I will stare at my phone a... Fri, 12 Jul 2013 19:44:40 EST Vacation in Queenstown - South Island, New Zealand <BR> Vacation in Queenstown - South Island, New Zealand <BR> <BR> Well I have had the most wonderful vacation. Considering the few days before we left it was the worst storm over here in the last 3 or 4 decades and the roads were either flooded, snowed in or closed we did not think it was perhaps going to happen. <BR> <BR> However. On the morning we left (6.30am) the weather began to improve to where we were going. The skies cleared enough for our delayed plane to take off, but the airline... Thu, 27 Jun 2013 21:44:32 EST I'm going on vacation and I'm taking my ... Do you all remember the children's game I'm going to (where ever and I am taking my) and you name what you are taking, plus everything named before? <BR> <BR> Example I am going on vacation and I am taking my toothbrush, hair dryer, book, etc. <BR> <BR> Well this is the same idea but let's list healthy things that will help us on our journey of health and spiritual growth and wellness. <BR> <BR> To play along simply cut and paste everything that was listed before you, add your item and a... Tue, 25 Jun 2013 11:05:32 EST Surviving Narcissistic Abuse and Moving on <BR> <BR> I know I am not in control of other people. I know I have been greatly wronged and the Narc will continue to try and punish me, maybe his whole life. But I am determined to not let his behavior ruin me, even when he puts my small children in the middle. Even when he instigates a smear campaign against me (the ultimate verbal abuse, try to get a whole community to believe the lies.) <BR> <BR> If you are going through the same thing.. say hi. Mon, 24 Jun 2013 00:46:59 EST Reasons for abuse Well I found out an interesting bit of information about my mother. I found out that right about the time I was born she was diagnosed with Manic Depressive. (Bipolar) She never took her medications or when she did she took them with alcohol... the treatment back then was valium. Nothing else. In other words they didn't actually treat the emotional stuff. I can see now why she went into such rages. <BR> <BR> This doesn't excuse her behavior, but it does shed some light and reinforces that it... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 16:23:04 EST Some tips for finding good self esteem This particular exercise is not an account of the good and 'not so good' - it is a written account of good things only. <BR> <BR> It is especially helpful when I am filled with depression and feel as if I have accomplished nothing in the day, week, month, year - you know how it is with depression, all we can see is the negative and it seems like we have always felt this way. <BR> <BR> This exercise is a way of keeping track of the good stuff we can and do accomplish no matter how bad we ma... Sat, 8 Jun 2013 23:30:18 EST Hi-I'm new Hello. My name is Brittany. I've just found the team and I'd like to share my story. I've never really been able to write it out, and I think it may be cathartic. <BR> My mother is an emotional abuser and narcissist. <BR> Living with her is like dancing in a minefield. I'm always walking on eggshells- if I say the wrong thing, I'm attacked. And my dad just lets her rage. I take the brunt of her anger. Since he isn't on the receiving end of her tirades, he just doesn't understand. Everything, ... Sat, 25 May 2013 00:23:25 EST Stepping Down as Co-Leader After giving this a lot of thought and consideration I have decided it's time to step down. I'm not really participating in threads other than the daily "How Are You Feeling" and I haven't come up with any new ideas for topics or challenges in a long time. <BR> <BR> I'm sure that if anyone is interested in stepping up to the plate, Blessedbeing (Amanda) would be happy to get a SP mail message from you. <BR> <BR> Tue, 2 Apr 2013 12:52:03 EST Love Thyself activity I'm borrowing an activity from my Gathering of Goddesses co-leader. (I thought of renaming it "How do I love me? Let me count the ways" <em>20</em> .) The idea is to focus our love and attention inward, first with a list of what we love about ourselves, and then ways we can or do demonstrate that self-love. So here is my first list of what I love about me: <BR> <BR> <em>26</em> I am kind and generous <BR> <BR> <em>26</em> I am passionate and articulate <BR> <BR> <em>26</em>... Sun, 10 Feb 2013 21:43:46 EST Please tell me it'll be ok I've been trying to get healthy for a few years now and my stamina and energy fluctuate I do smoke so that probably has something to do with it. I don't work and after 20 min of house work I'm already almost to dead tired. Got some tests but doc says nothing's wrong, i need to exercise so I walk my dog, do house work, stretch, and 2 pound weights routine. The weights and stretching don't get done as they should so maybe that's it. This past year I got the house activity from 10 min to 20 so t... Tue, 5 Feb 2013 13:26:18 EST Hi. Having trouble believing I can do this Hi. This is my first time in this group, thought not my first time on SP. Now, I'm up to my highest weight ever. I've been examining the reasons why I can't seem to maintain my weight loss, and I've realized that a large part of it is the effects of verbal and psychological abuse by my parents. I don't just mean abuse as a kid. Even now, they are verbally and psychologically abusive. They are also psychologically abusive to my older siblings, but even they (my siblings) agree I get the brunt ... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 08:09:06 EST new members We have had several new members lately who didn't create a SP page or have their page set to private. We can't send you a welcome goodie if you don't have a page so here's the "welcome" we usually send: <BR> <BR> "Welcome to the SAssies, as we like to refer to ourselves. It is a team, where we hope you will go beyond surviving and thrive! Feel free to talk about your history--or not. We have many good discussions and helpful ideas and resources. We hope you will gain comfort and strength he... Sat, 24 Nov 2012 14:51:49 EST 25 Day Holiday Challenge We don't usually have challenges like the other teams that focus mainly on diets, but I think this one is appropriate for this team and this season. <BR> <BR> 5 guidelines for 25 days starting this Monday November 26th: <BR> <BR> 1. Meditate - at least 1x per day for 10 minutes <BR> <BR> 2. List 3 things you are grateful for daily. <BR> <BR> 3. Eat mindfully - before consuming something take time to think about what it is and where it came from. How was it raised (with hormones and antobi... Sat, 24 Nov 2012 11:57:00 EST Why Do We Keep Coming Back? Why do I keep returning to the person/situation that brings me such pain and heartache? Earlier this year I wrote a blog about a man I had met last year that I cared about very much. I felt the feelings were mutual but then he broke things off, telling me he was dealing with depression and didn't feel it was right to involve me in that situation. Earlier this year we reconnected but after about 2 months he once ago broke things off. Well, at the end of August we reconnected, again!, and once ... Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:30:32 EST prayers said so i have been awake 20 minutes. i have already been called a dirtbag and had my back n neck shoved while im still in a neck brack,so what did i wake up for,i hate my life and living here <BR> Sat, 3 Nov 2012 06:47:13 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 2 Nov 2012 14:17:54 EST A Dance Movement Therapy Story This touched my heart: <BR> <BR> "In another session, Esther describes working with an adult. In this session, she engaged the client in body part warm-ups, breathing and relaxation techniques, Tai Chi-inspired movement, and Authentic Movement. Her client willing participated in the movement work and was able to locate the pain in his left shoulder and spine and the limited use of one side of his body. As their work together progressed, he began to identify movement motifs and connect them t... Thu, 1 Nov 2012 20:50:34 EST Great Resource for Finding a Therapist... ...who handles PTSD. <BR> <BR> I always like to share these tidbits as I find them. I was trying to help a spark member today who was reaching out through her blog about her childhood experiences & her adult struggle with PTSD/depression. She didn't know where to go for help. God, I love google! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>-a-therapist.asp </link> Sun, 28 Oct 2012 11:48:52 EST hello I am 53 and in a 2nd. marriage. My first husband was physically abusive (when he drank or got high), I divorced him. Now second hubby after 25 years of marriage, i am starting to realize that he is emotionally and mentally abusive. We have a beautiful 17 year old daughter and I need to get healthy for her. It is funny because it took my ex husband's passing to see what this marriage was all about. My health issues have prevented me from working for the past few years and now is the time ... Fri, 26 Oct 2012 09:53:43 EST Woman of the Dawn Greetings, <BR> <BR> I am Native American enrolled in the Stockbridge-Munsee band of Mohicans tribe in Wisconsin. I reside in Waukesha, WI. I used to weigh 431 pounds and I have lost 62 pounds. I currently weigh 369 pounds and I have type 2 Diabetes. I aspire to reach 291 pounds by August 2013. <BR> <BR> I am a survivor of sexual abuse and domestic violence. Here is a poem I wrote: <BR> <BR> Woman of the Dawn <BR> by Wenona "Buffy" Gardner <BR> <BR> I am the heart of my family, <BR> I ... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 11:50:12 EST Struggling with always Didn't want to put this in a blog... not ready to share with all of the Spark World(though I know they can find this if they look hard enough). Anyway, been struggling lately with feelings of self-worth, which seems to be a recurring theme with me. I just often feel so alone and unloved, even though I am often surrounded by friends and family. What I've always longed for is that one special person(a man) who will hold me and love me as I am. <BR> <BR> A little background.....I was molested a... Sat, 15 Sep 2012 00:21:34 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:29:45 EST 4 years ago yesterday Four years ago yesterday I walked out of my house, got in my car to go pay a bill, and never looked back. The night before that was the last time I let my husband put his hands on me. So much has happened in that four years, and I can't believe how far I've come! I found out 10 days later that I was pregnant with my daughter, and life has never been the same. My little girl has been the force that has kept me safe, sane and happy, and has allowed me to follow all of my dreams. <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 13 Sep 2012 16:07:17 EST From Now Unitl 1/1/2013 - A personal challenge Ususally we make resolutions on January 1st (and I don't know about you but usually I don't follow through for long). Some people don't even like the custom of making New Years resolutions. <BR> <BR> So this time let's resolve something ahead of time so we can congratulate ourselves for a job well done on the 1st of the year and look back on 2012 with a feeling of pride. <BR> <BR> Doesn't matter what it is. Set a goal you know that you can do - don't set yourself up for failure with someth... Thu, 6 Sep 2012 11:07:56 EST RAISING OUR SELF ESTEEM ON A DAILY BASIS This particular exercise is not an account of the good and 'not so good' - it is a written account of good things only. <BR> <BR> It is especially helpful when I am filled with depression and feel as if I have accomplished nothing in the day, week, month, year - you know how it is with depression, all we can see is the negative and it seems like we have always felt this way. <BR> <BR> This exercise is a way of keeping track of the good stuff we can and do accomplish no matter how bad we m... Mon, 23 Jul 2012 00:10:38 EST Message Removed Message Removed Sat, 14 Jul 2012 17:50:44 EST Message Removed Message Removed Sat, 14 Jul 2012 17:48:55 EST Message Removed Message Removed Wed, 11 Jul 2012 00:25:57 EST Sharing the Hard Stuff Hey there ladies, this is a good place to share all the stuff that you do not feel comfortable posting on the other threads. <BR> <BR> Whether its venting to get rid of anger and frustration, dealing with low self esteem and lack of self worth, or anything else at all that is a problem for you right now feel free to share it here. <BR> <BR> Sometimes the people involved in our lives might read what is posted and make life even more difficult for us, or perhaps we are not ready for everyone ... Sat, 7 Jul 2012 21:57:46 EST Emergency Stage The courgage to heal book says I'm in the emergency stage. I can barely take care of myself, dealing with people fills me with anxiety, and doing anything to make my life better fills me with dread. Has anyone been through this? How long did it last? How did you get through it? Sat, 7 Jul 2012 21:01:34 EST Not yet a survivor I just joined spark yesterday and looking for a couple teams to keep me uplifted and inspired. I happened upon this team and even though I'm not yet a survivor of abuse I hope that I can still lean on your stories and motivation to get me through. <BR> <BR> Here is my short story.... <BR> I have been married for 3 1/2 years now to a sometimes great man. The other times he is very verbally abusive and just drains me. He was physical and mentally abusive our 1st year of marriage but at least ... Fri, 6 Jul 2012 21:32:00 EST Message Removed Message Removed Thu, 7 Jun 2012 11:02:13 EST Am I co-dependent - am I a caretaker? <BR> Here are 20 Steps to get you thinking - if you are not sure - from Melody Beattie's classic best seller - "Codependent No More" <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Care Taking <BR> <BR> Codependents may: <BR> 1. Think and feel responsible for other people---for other people's feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being, lack of well-being, and ultimate destiny. <BR> 2. Feel anxiety, pity, and guilt when other people have a problem. <BR> 3. Feel compelled --almost forced -- to... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 21:06:14 EST Write one positive thing about yourself today I am a positive person. <BR> <BR> *********** <BR> <BR> Well its interesting to look back. There are so many positive things about each one of us. We just need to keep looking for them and then focus our attention on the good in us. In this way the good qualities can grow and flourish. If I focus on the negative in myself and in life those are the things I am actually giving power to and the same principle applies when I focus on the positive and all the things I have to be grateful for ... Tue, 5 Jun 2012 20:59:00 EST The Last Diet You Will Ever Need This article by Dr. Mark Hyman was in my inbox this morning and I wanted to share...I know that we have a forum for articles, books etc. but hardly anyone checks it out, so I thought I'd post it here because I feel it's important. Here is an excerpt and a link for the entire article... <BR> <BR> "Why is it that we believe we can feed our bodies industrial nutrient depleted food-like substances empty of life and be healthy? How did we come to believe that food industry chemicals and processi... Sat, 2 Jun 2012 10:16:49 EST Great quotes Funny or wise, please share favorite or most inspiring quotes, from any source. <BR> <BR> A great quote from our own Eva on her status this morning: <BR> <BR> ”It’s impossible” said pride. “It’s risky” said experience. “It’s pointless” said reason. “Give it a try” whispered the heart - Anonymous Fri, 1 Jun 2012 22:27:54 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 4 May 2012 01:17:45 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 4 May 2012 01:00:14 EST BUT I STILL LOVE HIM IVE RETURNED TO TRY ONE LAST TIME Fri, 13 Apr 2012 14:58:02 EST March Motivation Tired of the February Funk? Winter woes? <BR> <BR> Tomorrow is March 1st and for most of us it means Spring is right around the corner. <BR> <BR> QUESTION - Is there anything you would like to accomplish in March and need support and/or motivation for? <BR> <BR> I'm restarting the 17 days diet tomorrow. March will take me almost to the 3rd 17 day cycle and I should be able to lose 12 - 15 lbs if I follow it exactly and exercise. I'm going to motivate myself by asking my DH to hide the sc... Wed, 29 Feb 2012 10:23:19 EST Just want to be happy and healthy Hey everyone, my name is Emily and I am a survivor. <BR> <BR> Sometimes I forget I am a survivor. Sometimes I think I am weak or just naturally messed up. Sometimes it's easier to forget then to remember. I almost didn't join this group because what if someone I knew in real life saw it. Then my secret would be out. <BR> <BR> But I think that it's a good thing to join this group, because the numbers show that we are not alone. That we are stronger then we know. That we can make it through... Mon, 20 Feb 2012 00:22:38 EST Can Anyone Relate? I have a hard time going outside. Even just to check the mail. I make myself do it many days just because I must but my anxiety goes through the roof! If I'm with my husband its not nearly so bad but when I'm alone sometimes I just want to run and hide and cry. I'm sure it has to do with how I was raised and the abuse I've endured in my life but I've gone through counseling and am on anti-depressants and all that helps...but its still really difficult. <BR> <BR> Can anyone relate? Do you ha... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 19:32:42 EST Hey, I'm Caiti. Excuse the cursing please :/ I have recently left (moved out less than a month ago, broke up less than a week ago) an abusive situation. I am 21 years old, no job, no money, and when he moved in with me a year ago he only had a suitcase with clothes in it. Now he's got a lot of my things and I'm not sure I'll be able to get my things out. I furnished the entire house and he has almost everything now. I'm on the road to recovery from the pushing, trapping, shoving, choking, and feeling like that's the only way I'll ever b... Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:26:13 EST Dealing with the pain How do you deal with the pain of abuse? Some days are really good and others are sucky. An ex of mine got in touch with me and that made a 3 month improvement seem to go out the door. I was fine until I talked to him. Ugh. <BR> <BR> *Just so people know I'm no longer in touch with either of these men. Just trying to deal with the pain and loneliness. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 19:40:47 EST Intro Hi, I'm Zephie, I'm a survivor of abuse. In September I broke off a relationship with my fiance and called off the engagement. He was verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive. My first boyfriend was similar although it was more sublte. I decided to join so that I can help and encourage others as well as deal with the issues that they have caused me. Mon, 13 Feb 2012 12:08:28 EST Team Goals I'd be interested in some feedback on team goals. Do you like the ones we have? Would you like others? Do you know how to join team goals and show on the leaderboards? <BR> <em>38</em> <BR> Each team can have up to 5 goals; we currently have 4. The middle 2, for fitness minutes and Spark Points, accrue automatically; you don't have to join for your points to count. The other 2, hours of sleep and reaching out to the team and other members, must be joined and added to your Other Goals p... Sat, 28 Jan 2012 17:23:50 EST I am a SURVIVOR!! Hello I am here as a survivor! <BR> <BR> I was abused by a friend of the family as I was growing up and abused by my father. When I got married it was to get away from home and I found that I had gone from the frying pan into the fire so to speak. <BR> <BR> I was physically and emotionally abused by my husband of almost 27 years. I was afraid to say anything to any one. My sister had been in an abusive relationship and was beat regularly. Felt so bad for her. My husband never hit me or le... Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:09:47 EST Daily 5 Things You're Grateful For Martin Seligman the father of "positive" psychology did a study and found that people who wrote down 5 things they were grateful for daily, for 30 days, were much more happier at the end of those 30 days than those in the control group. <BR> <BR> They don't have to be serious things either - you can be grateful that you enjoyed a good cup of coffee in the morning or found your missing slipper! <BR> <BR> Even though we have an affirmations topic under "fun" you can include some of those her... Mon, 23 Jan 2012 11:28:37 EST Providing the understanding I needed I think we all need and want to be understood. When I share something personal, if I can tell that the person I'm sharing with gets it, somehow I feel better. I don't feel alone. <BR> <BR> I needed some of that understanding today, and I gave it to myself. I wrote the following, and then read it out loud and pretended that my very best and trusted friend was saying this to me: <BR> <BR> "I understand. <BR> <BR> I understand that you still feel pain when you think back on that relationsh... Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:58:12 EST Affirmations for Self Esteem I found this in my inbox this morning from and thought it deserved it's own topic. "Today's affirmations are in the areas of - Self-Esteem (Part 2)": <BR> <BR> <BR> * I do not have to feel guilty just because someone else does not like <BR> what I do, say, think, or feel. <BR> <BR> * It is O. K. for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible <BR> ways. <BR> <BR> * I do not have to assume full responsibility for making decisions, <BR> particularly where others sha... Wed, 4 Jan 2012 11:45:35 EST Happy New Year...message of love This song speaks to me and lifts me up. I'm sharing and hoping that you too will receive a message of love. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>feature=relmfu </link> <BR> <BR> (X out of the commercial after three seconds) <BR> <BR> You are beautiful...right now...just the way you are. <BR> <BR> Peace, love and happiness~ Sat, 31 Dec 2011 16:36:53 EST Progress Report (accountability thread) This is a new discussion that grew out of the "3 things about you" question of what have you been putting off, that you really want to accomplish or manifest in your life? They can be big things or small; whatever you choose to focus on, this is a place to update us on steps you've taken toward realizing your dreams and goals. <BR> <BR> My biggest one is organizing my home and life--and getting rid of all this CLUTTER! It shames me and weighs me down, it robs me of comfort and ease. I've ... Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:14:18 EST Sorry - I have to Vent I was informed today that one of my credit card numbers was stolen and used to charge thousands of dollars in the past week. They actually stole it in Sept. and "fished" with a $1.00 charge but didn't really use it until this month. I'm upset that I let my guard down enough to not notice a $1.00 charge and am really really angry that I am a victim again. I swore that I would never be a victim again. So instead of sticking to my diet, I had a martini. Just like "old" times. I'm not going to ge... Wed, 30 Nov 2011 18:24:20 EST Higher Power I wanted to share an experience I had today. <BR> <BR> I was brought up Catholic and abused by a priest. I think that I have investigated every major religion (including Wicca, Amanda). I was really beginning to worry about my spirituality because I've become a genuine agnostic. I keep telling my DH that the god in the bible was an alien LOL. <BR> <BR> Anyway, today I left a store at a strip mall and looked both ways before entering a pedestrian crosswalk. Directly to my left a young man s... Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:41:39 EST Kindness A friend emailed this to me and I thought that I would share: <BR> <BR> Kindness <BR> <BR> Before you know what kindness really is <BR> you must lose things, <BR> feel the future dissolve in a moment <BR> like salt in a weakened broth. <BR> What you held in your hand, <BR> what you counted and carefully saved, <BR> all this must go so you know <BR> how desolate the landscape can be <BR> between the regions of kindness. <BR> How you ride and ride <BR> thinking the bus will never stop, <BR> t... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 16:22:56 EST I need advice,... Hello Spark Friends, I need your wisdom. <BR> 1. Mother/Father: my age, good to each other, respectful,...high income <BR> 2. Son 1: 24 yrs. Lives at home, well educated <BR> 3. Girlfriend of Son 1: Pretty, petite, clever, 20-ish <BR> 4. Son 2: 16 yrs, might be a sociopath (ya, I know what I'm saying), they are trying to get him help <BR> <BR> Here's the thing, at dinner Son 1 verbally abused girlfriend, in front of every one "I weep for how ignorant you are,..." <BR> She refused to engage b... Mon, 31 Oct 2011 10:32:32 EST Holidays Holidays can be a time for overindulgence. What are your plans for staying on track during the coming months? Mon, 24 Oct 2011 15:29:01 EST Was I Abused? Hi, everybody! I'm Savannah. I have recently had a hard time telling my story simply because every time I do, people tell me I have nothing to be upset over. I was abused, but it was nothing as severe as most of the horrible abuse stories you hear. I am a 225 pound female. I was abused by a 100 pound female. Thus, everyone keeps telling me it wasn't abuse. I am trying not to let them get to me because I KNOW it was abuse, but it makes me very upset. When they say this I feel like I'm just bei... Thu, 29 Sep 2011 19:53:05 EST Loss of a dear pet Just wanted all to know that Blessedbeing had to put her beloved cat of 16 years (Kenny) to sleep yesterday. Join me in offering her our sympathy and support through what is a very difficult time for her. Thu, 22 Sep 2011 13:39:19 EST My story The Phoenix <BR> <BR> They thought they killed me. <BR> Destroyed me with the beatings; <BR> Crushed me with humiliation. <BR> Well, they almost did. <BR> I skulked in shadows <BR> A frightened little animal <BR> Caught in their steel trap. <BR> Plied with crumbs of love <BR> Until I came close enough <BR> To be kicked bloody. <BR> And I said I loved them, <BR> Loved my torturers. <BR> The Hell of it is, I did. <BR> See, I almost believed it <BR> When they said they had to <BR> Or I'd turn ... Sat, 10 Sep 2011 10:50:19 EST Abuse survivor <em>148</em> <BR> <BR> Hi, my name is Nora and I am new to this team. My abuses were my brother and cousin. I was 11/12. I am now 61 and after suppressing everything, it is finally coming out and I am having a rough time, along with my sister. This sounds like a very supportive group and I am looking forward to meeting all of you. Sat, 3 Sep 2011 19:03:05 EST A new team goal at the bottom of the page Abusers often isolate their victims, cutting off potential sources of support. One of our tasks in recovery is to break free from that learned behavior of hiding from others, and building respectful and nurturing relationships. <BR> <BR> So why not do build strong habits and earn Spark Points at the same time? Just join the last goal at the bottom of the main team page--about reaching out. It will appear on your Other Goals tracking page, and check off the box every day you post a message... Wed, 24 Aug 2011 01:08:06 EST 3 Things About You "Challenge" Some of us are still discovering who we are; some of us are still learning to trust others enough to share who we are. The content of the "3 things" will change, as we get to know our teammates--and maybe ourselves--a little better. <BR> <BR> The first 3 things are 3 things you like about yourself--a fitting corollary to WISPY's self-esteem workshop. I'll start: <BR> <BR> 1. I like that I am visual, and appreciate beauty in nature, artwork, how a room is decorated or an outfit is put tog... Sat, 13 Aug 2011 12:22:45 EST How Did You Survive? I need to brainstorm with you all. I have been thinking a lot lately of doing something on a large scale. I want to affect my community for the better. I want to help young girls who have been or are being abused avoid suffering needlessly for years like I did. <BR> <BR> It could have been worse for me. What helped me at the time was a next door neighbor who taught me about Yoga and reincarnation when I was 12. I also volunteered with the SIsters Of Social Service ( a Catholic order of nuns)... Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:40:15 EST New challenges as of 8/1/11 1. Follow Wispy's series on building self-esteem <BR> <BR> 2. Eat one meal a day mindfully <BR> <BR> 3. Practice any meditation of your choice for at least 10 mn per day <BR> <BR> Here are links for free guided meditations: <link> </link> <BR> <link><BR>ions </link> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> <BR> Then use this forum to post anything you want about any of the challenges... Thu, 4 Aug 2011 12:23:57 EST Mindful Eating How to Eat Mindfully <BR> Strategy 1 <BR> In Eating Mindfully, Susan Albers recommends starting with one mealtime: breakfast, lunch, or dinner. <BR> <BR> Choose a specific location to eat, such as your table or the lunchroom at work. <BR> Sit quietly. Don't get up, and don't answer the phone. <BR> <BR> Have all the food you intend to eat on the table in front of you before starting. <BR> To be mindful you must give your full attention to your eating. You must focus on the process of ea... Thu, 4 Aug 2011 12:02:45 EST Self Esteem Workshop - a daily exercise Welcome ladies. Hoping you will find this course both useful and fun. <BR> <BR> Self Esteem boosters. <BR> <BR> You will gain more benefit if you keep a notebook for these exercises and record the date and the exercise on a daily basis. Give yourself a big tick when it is completed even if you do it just once in the day. If it is something you are accostomed to doing as a general rule, then do it consciously just for today - you may be surprised at how often you do this thing already. <BR... Wed, 3 Aug 2011 22:08:41 EST Success Report This is one of my favorite threads on another team that I started, so I thought I would propose one here: a place to toot your own horn <em>215</em> , report a <em>248</em> , or celebrate any victory <em>236</em> . <BR> <BR> My success this past week is that after discussing meditating with my sister, a <em>223</em> who has not yet tried <em>135</em> , I realized I had gotten really lax--only doing it some days, and for 5 minutes or less. So I have gone back to 10 minutes in the morn... Fri, 29 Jul 2011 22:21:06 EST Good Morning Team! How is everybody doing this morning? Have you done anything fun this weekend? Any big plans for the week? Sun, 24 Jul 2011 10:20:48 EST kathleen just to let you know that i'm getting a new treadmill this next week. <BR> <BR> kathleen <BR> <em>311</em> <BR> <em>231</em> Fri, 15 Jul 2011 05:22:18 EST Member Blogs Good morning team! I have noticed that many of you have blogs that you update on a regular basis and I think that is wonderful! Has everyone noticed that you can access your teammates blogs from the Team Stream at the right of the page? If you have a chance, take some time and read some of your fellow Sparkers blogs and leave a note of encouragement. It's a great way to get to know each other better, offer encouragement, and get some Spark Points! Wed, 13 Jul 2011 10:18:50 EST Someone wrote about this in a blog so I checked it out. It's a free 21 day mental toughness course to help you get healthy and stay there. It's not about a diet. He says "any good diet will work" if you're mentally tough. It's a very helpful course. <BR> <BR> Here's the link if anyone is interested: <link> </link> <BR> <BR> He's not at all like a drill sargeant - he's very interesting to listen to. I highly recommend this. <BR> Don't let the title scare you off. Tue, 5 Jul 2011 17:40:37 EST Successes and struggles I just wanted to check in with more team members, so thought I'd toss this discussion out. One of my favorite features on another team is the Success Report, where members can toot their own horn for any victory--no matter how small--so we can all celebrate each other's progress. And when we share the problems we are having, we can get great ideas and resources, or at least have company along the way. <BR> <BR> I struggle with clutter, as I believe many survivors do. (I don't know if it w... Sat, 2 Jul 2011 23:44:16 EST If you were stranded on a deserted island... and could only bring one book, which one would you bring? <BR> <BR> I could say something practical like a survival manual, or thoughtful like the bible, or fun like my Audubon Society bird book; but I think I have to go with MAD for Decades. It's a compilation of MAD Magazine cartoons from the time the magazine started all the way through current issues. It is hilarious and I could just read it over and over! <BR> <BR> What about you? What book could keep you entertained in between buil... Sun, 26 Jun 2011 17:19:00 EST Team Goal FYI For those of you who have joined the team goal to earn 500 Spark Points per month (or those of you who would like to join), here are some tips for getting those points! <BR> <BR> Did you know that you can earn Spark Points by: posting on the message board, huddling with the team, posting a blog, commenting on a team mates blog, working in your garden, vacuuming, and tracking your participation in team goals?! You can also earn extra Spark Points just by earning 25 Spark Points a day! <BR>... Sat, 25 Jun 2011 11:30:56 EST New challenge as of 6/19/11 Hi All! <BR> Following is a link for questionnaires from the Authentic Happiness team at the University of Pennsylvania. <BR> Take as many as you want and post which ones you took. You don't have to share your results if you don't feel comfortable with that but post your thoughts about taking them. Did they help you in any way? Did you learn anything about yourself? Were there any suprises? Post any comments you want. <BR> <link><BR>/questionnaires.aspx ... Sun, 19 Jun 2011 12:37:38 EST Use the nutrition tracker for a chance to win Use the new Nutrition Tracker between June 8-17, 2011, and you automatically will be registered to win a $100 gift certificate to the SparkPeople store! Three winners will be randomly selected after June 17, 2011. <BR> Wed, 8 Jun 2011 14:56:02 EST New Team Goals! I have updated the team goals and I hope that there is something there for everyone! I kept the sleep goal as there are a few people who have joined that goal and sleep is a very important part of self care. I have added an exercise goal because exercise is an amazing treatment for stress, anxiety, depression, and improving the mind/body connection! I have also included goals related to sparkpoints and participating in team challenges. Don't forget, you can get sparkpoints just by posting... Mon, 6 Jun 2011 11:49:49 EST Team Goals So, what do you folks think of our current team goals? Do you like them, dislike them, ignore them completely? Have you joined any of them yet? Are there new goals that you would like to see here? I personally like the idea of having goals related to positive thinking and self-care, but I would like to see some fitness/diet related goals as well. What do you think? Any and all suggestions are welcome!!! Fri, 3 Jun 2011 10:21:54 EST Speaking up I've been having hit and miss success with this. I know many of us learned very early "Don't tell." I first got lost my voice when I was 9--the age when the abuse escalated. I used to get laryngitis somewhat regularly over the years--until I finally got in therapy and really talked about it, told all the secrets. <BR> <BR> I try to remember to speak up, but can fall back into bad habits like last night in a class, when I didn't express my dissatisfaction with the discussion that was goi... Wed, 1 Jun 2011 23:06:35 EST What have you done today that was just for you? Sometimes, life gets so busy that we put ourselves at the bottom of our to-do list. I think that as survivors, we are even more likely to do this! Obviously, you are changing that just by being here, but what else have you done today that was just to take care of you? Maybe you took yourself out for a cup of coffee or a movie, maybe you took a bubble bath or cuddled up on the couch with a good book, or maybe you ran a marathon!! Whatever it is you do for you, share it with us so that we c... Wed, 1 Jun 2011 10:34:19 EST What Motivated You To Join This Team? Why did you choose to join? and/or What do you hope to gain from being a member of this team? Sun, 29 May 2011 12:44:06 EST New team Image Make your suggestions for a new team image. When we have enough we'll take a vote. I have no idea what the current one is supposed to represent - do you? Sat, 28 May 2011 10:38:07 EST Books, CD's, Links and More Here's where you can post your favorite self-help books, CD's, Links etc. whatever you want to recommend to others. Fri, 27 May 2011 21:34:03 EST My Story When I was 8 years old my grandmother and I lived by ourselves it was okay, we had our moments where we would argue but it wasn't horrible. About around the time I turned 9 she re-married and we moved out of our little apartment into a town house with this new person. Things were still okay and everyone seemed to have gotten along just fine, the arguments became more frequent because my grandmother started to drink more because she was able to afford more, she would tell me in her drunken stu... Fri, 27 May 2011 19:28:55 EST Positive Affirmations Share your favorite affirmations... Fri, 27 May 2011 18:06:03 EST Need Help Yourself? Do you need motivational tips? Do you need help on how to improve your self esteem? Want to know how someone overcame negative body issues? Need help with empowerment? Is there something you want more knowledge of? <BR> <BR> Whatever you want some support with, post it here. <BR> <BR> Just keep in mind that we're not professionals, and can only tell you what worked for us. Fri, 27 May 2011 18:03:50 EST A Place To Vent or Get support If you don't want to use your public blog, use this forum to get it all out! If you need help with something - let the team know what you need support for. Fri, 27 May 2011 17:49:51 EST Weekly Team Challenge for week of 6/5/11 New challenge for the week of 6/5/11 - let us know how you're doing with it: <BR> <BR> This is an exercise from Positive Psychology: <BR> <BR> It's called the "Three Blessings" or "What Went Well" Exercise <BR> <BR> Every night for the next week, set aside ten minutes before you go to sleep. Write down 3 things that went well today and why they went well. You may use a journal or post them here, but it is important that you have a physical record of what you wrote. The three things need n... Fri, 27 May 2011 16:40:02 EST Privacy Issues This team will show up on your home page and you will get goodies from the team, however; <BR> <BR> I think that we should all agree not to repeat anything that is posted as personal to any other team. Some of us are on multiple teams together, and although it is our right to divulge what we want to about ourselves; we should not divulge anything personal about another team member. <BR> <BR> We should also refrain from posting anything personal referring to abuse issues on another team memb... Fri, 27 May 2011 15:19:05 EST Suggestions What do you hope to get from this team? What would you like to see in these forums? Are there special topics that you're interested in, which would help you improve your life? Whatever it is that you think would aid you on the road to flourishing - post it here! Fri, 27 May 2011 15:09:20 EST mindfulness challenge - experience life "Being mindful means thinking about what you're experiencing as you're experiencing it, being aware of your thoughts, your feelings, and your five senses. The more mindful and aware you are of yourself and the world around you, the more able you are to experience life instead of floating through it anesthetized." - Dr. Robert Rosati <BR> <BR> This is an exercise taught to introduce people to mindfulness. Mindful eating gives us a new awareness of the foods we are eating; to taste the flavors... Wed, 18 May 2011 13:29:53 EST Discussion Question #2 In the last question we discussed what we think of when we heard the word "women" and who are role models were growing up. Another member (Jazzielori) blogged about how the media demands thinness. When you google the word thinness that word comes up in conjuction with the media and advertising and it's adverse effects. <BR> <BR> <BR> What other stereotypes do you feel are negative or harmful? <BR> <BR> How do they affect how you view yourself or your body? <BR> <BR> How did the abuse aff... Mon, 16 May 2011 12:55:26 EST My story I wrote this several years ago. <BR> <BR> The Phoenix <BR> <BR> They thought they killed me. <BR> Destroyed me with the beatings; <BR> Crushed me with humiliation. <BR> Well, they almost did. <BR> I skulked in shadows <BR> A frightened little animal <BR> Caught in their steel trap. <BR> Plied with crumbs of love <BR> Until I came close enough <BR> To be kicked bloody. <BR> And I said I loved them, <BR> Loved my torturers. <BR> The Hell of it is, I did. <BR> See, I almost believed it <BR> W... Wed, 11 May 2011 21:32:26 EST I am new, part of my story... I am here because I was in thereapy for years to overcome repeated sexual molestation by my father from the time I was 9 -14. I had a long healing road but I reached forgiveness and formed a tenuous bond with my father and step mother. It was a bumpy road but I felt healed and I felt peace..................... <BR> Then, five weeks ago, my sister decided to bring charges against our father for raping her when she was 16. I was of the mind set to please leave it alone. He has found God and... Wed, 11 May 2011 08:24:53 EST For The Females: Question #1 When you think about being a woman, what are the first words and images that comes to your mind? <BR> <BR> For example, when I hear the word woman I think: <BR> Being a caretaker <BR> Putting others first <BR> <BR> Fri, 6 May 2011 13:01:46 EST bakersfield ca. kathleen hi, everyone just a quick note to let everyone know that i was sexily abused as a child and even as an adult also. i have also been on both sides of the fence so i understand what its like to be mental abuse as well. i don't ever want to have it again and i hope it never does again. i'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful man that loves me very much. we have been together for over five years and he has helped me out allot he says if there is anything that i need to talk about he will... Mon, 18 Apr 2011 07:07:04 EST My Abuse Story Hi, I just want to get my story out there. I've never told it fully and I think that it will be much easier to cope if I feel like it's out there. <BR> <BR> I left my boyfriend of two years very recently who had been abusing me physically, mentally, and emotionally. It was really, really hard for me to do because it was such a typical abusive relationship in the way that the "honeymoon periods" were really so nice. He was so kind and loving... and then so terrible. <BR> <BR> He had issues w... Tue, 12 Apr 2011 00:32:57 EST Weekly challenge All ready on my second set of jumping jacks. Mon, 4 Apr 2011 10:17:15 EST Coping Ideas for Emotional Problems - Sticky This helped me when I found myself triggered by the past some call it (Post traumatic stress disorder) I call it both kids got married with in a year of each other and I had to see family that brought bitterness up that I didn't resolve. So a good friend helped me through and gave me the following which is why I'm here: <BR> <BR> 1. Get a complete physical checkup. Luke was a physician. Only take medicine when advised by a physician. Avoid the use of alcohol, drugs, etc. (1 Timothy 5:23). ... Mon, 28 Mar 2011 19:09:35 EST Considering to be Co-leader Hi, My name is Melissa and I was considering starting a group such as this but I didn't want to re-invent the wheel. I noticed that the team leader has been absent (hope all is well) so I thought I would give it a try as a co. If you would like to see my background visit The reason why I joined sparks, I felt this chapter of my life God wanted me to make Him my possession not food. Thu, 24 Mar 2011 09:58:30 EST guilty a lady from another team i have suggested fat free yogurt, with kashi lean, and fresh fruit. to use as a tasty treat. i have been eating it everynight.. it helps me to get my two fruit servings in , yogurt which is very good for you and some much needed healthy carbs.. but it is not even a sin it is around 200-300 calories depending how much kashi you put in. mercy this treat i will keep eating from npw on if i get bored change cereal or fruit good. i like it when fruit is still frozen some..... Tue, 8 Mar 2011 21:17:39 EST granola and recipes hey, <BR> I love granola so much, but when i buy it at the store it has so many added additives and sugar etc and calories. that almost all of it is to unhealthy for me to eat let alone pay for. well i was looking up recipes on sparks oh my word so many ideas recipes for it and healthy ones too. and how to make it also.. you know i am so excited not only am i eating right and losing weight i am eating the things i loves so I know in my heart and soul this time if I put in the effort and ... Fri, 4 Mar 2011 08:55:50 EST my story i don't talk about my childhood much. I have seen allot of people stuck in the problems and suffering they had by the hands of others. to me that makes my abusers more important and in control of my life as they once where, they no longer in my life so to me I am the survivor and they are still hung up in the problems they choose not to face. <BR> with that said I have had to overcome allot of things, flashbacks, panic attacks, disassociation getting out of the cycle, body memories, and y... Wed, 2 Mar 2011 14:54:34 EST anxiety vs depressio n...which one is worse? Can you become 'normal' once you have these conditions? What do you think? Thank you <em>40</em> Thu, 17 Feb 2011 23:07:16 EST Trying to feel *worthy* of caring for myself I have been struggling for a long time just to get and stay motivated and I am beginning to realize that I don't feel worthy of caring for myself, or maybe I feel like it doesn't matter. <BR> <BR> My mom died in front of me when I was 7, of a brain hemorrage. A year later my dad died, and my siblings and I were passed around to relatives who made it clear they didn't want us. Finally, and aunt and uncle adopted us. My aunt had mental problems and was very cold and abusive to us. When I was 1... Wed, 19 Jan 2011 16:30:33 EST 2011 - A year of change and acceptance. My hope for the New Year is that those of us who have had a rough time this year will find some resolution to their problems in 2011 and acceptance of the situation if the solution does not lie in our own hands. <BR> <BR> It is amazing the difference that acceptance of a situation can bring when it is something outside our own control. <BR> <BR> The Serenity Prayer has been my life's companion for many years now. <BR> <BR> God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. ... Sun, 26 Dec 2010 20:58:50 EST Survived another holiday! How about You ? I made it through another Christmas and it wasn't as bad as I had feared. W I was at home and only had hubby to deal with.Major storm due and no reliable car. It was a very lonely day with no presents or celebrations and thankfully not a major upheaval. Just minor stuff. Sun, 26 Dec 2010 16:02:25 EST ***CHEER A SOLDIER AT CHRISTMAS*** Hi everyone, <BR> <BR> Whatever the weather in your neck of the woods and no matter how bad you may be feeling today - I know for many of us this is a particularly difficult time of year, it used to be for me also, I started dreading it around mid November. Everyone seemed to be on holiday or out of town, having fun and celebrating and then there was me. Somehow I felt there was no one else alone in all the world. <BR> <BR> That was when I came to realise that by trying to make it a spec... Sun, 12 Dec 2010 18:27:39 EST Newish to the team. Hi, I am Christina and pretty new to the team, but not to spark, I've been on here for over a year. <BR> My story is not all that different to some of the stories I've seen in this forum. I was abused by my father in all of the ways a person can abuse someone. My earliest memory of it when I was 4. I finally put him in prison when I was 9. He got 6 years... not enough in my book, but it got him away from me. But the abuse didn't stop. A family friend stepped in and took his place. He didn't g... Mon, 16 Aug 2010 03:08:07 EST Abused verbally and nearly physically I still have the scars but I've chosen to forgive. My name is Okie btw. Mon, 26 Jul 2010 23:07:59 EST Please comment on my Blog?!? I was basically censored here on Spark. I used abbreviations for terms & was told to fix my Blog. My Mother in Law was abused. Some COWARD reported me to Spark. I've seen Blogs about Sex be most "Popular Blogs" on here & not turned in. Guess a better Topic? Show your support & support me on my new Blog. I do not support Domestic Violence! Lets start a revolution! I'll add everyone as a Friend that does & even give or take Phone Numbers. <BR> <BR> We do NOT deserve this treatment!!! <BR> <BR... Sat, 3 Jul 2010 02:29:05 EST Ready or not, here I go... This looks like a great site, and I'm always teasing a friend of mine for being addicted. I saw myself in the mirror the other day, and I couldn't believe it was me - how did I let myself get to 300 pounds! None of my clothes fit, and I'm so tired all the time. I stay home more often than not because I don't want to be seen like this, and I'm awkward in stores and resturaunts, because I don't fit in chairs or booths. I'm not sure what I am doing, and how to get around here, but I will do ... Thu, 15 Apr 2010 22:24:03 EST Hello, kindred spirits! Hello, everyone. I'm Amber, a twenty-two-year-old college student. Currently, I'm in what I've finally realized is an abusive relationship. My fiancé and I have been together for six years, but I don't think we'll make it to our seventh anniversary. He's not physically abusive, but he's worn me down emotionally for years to the point that I feel exhausted all the time. <BR> <BR> I'm afraid to leave him because we have three dogs and two cats. My parents have agreed to let me bring the cats i... Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:32:24 EST PAST is intruding day and night AGAIN! Suffer Complex PTSD from severe, continuous abuse of every type imaginable for first 20 years of my life (and some beyond that). Been through roughly 3,000 hours of therapy (no exaggeration). Symptoms cool and life is good and then they get heat up again (constant flashbacks and nightmares and all kinds of PTSD symptoms) and life gets rough like it is right now. <BR> <BR> Can't get into insurance covered (the only kind I can afford) therapy again until September 2010. <BR> <BR> That's my a... Sat, 20 Mar 2010 17:56:04 EST Hi everyone, I guess I belong here I have been thinking quite awhile about deleting my story now that I wrote it. Annoying that what I wrote comes up very visibly on the Internet. I wanted to share with this group and it felt very helpful writing it out, but it means nothing to the people who would Google it. I am doing very well on Sparks, not much weight lost and not enough exercise yet but it will come. I am learning so much about myself and my interaction with others here which is even more healthy for me. Good luck to al... Sat, 6 Mar 2010 14:46:27 EST Assault and battery I was battered as a child. My father used his belt on me and my siblings for every little thing (and sometimes nothing). Once he was p****d at my sister. When he finished beating her, he started on me just because I was there at the time. He even once knocked me on the floor and kicked me in the face. <BR> <BR> I was molested by a stranger when I was ten, and my now-ex used to force me to have unprotected sex after our son was born (afther telling me he was p****d at me for getting pregnant)... Sat, 27 Feb 2010 12:04:05 EST hi I'm new My name is Jessica, I'm 21, and just now beginning to realize the extent of the abuse that I have gone through from my dad and also my older brother. My brother sexually abused me at age 9 and my dad physically abused and emotionally abused my sister, brother and I my entire life. I can no longer shove my feelings "under a rug" I need to deal with them and not ignore that they are there. <BR> <BR> I just wrote my last blog and wondered if there was a team for what I'm going through and sure... Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:23:43 EST Hello, I am new here. Hello ! <BR> My name is Victoria and I have just joined the team. <BR> I am a 49 year old survivor of a massive amount of child abuse, both physical, sexual, emotional and verbal. The scars have long since healed up and are not visible to the eye, however the internal wounds are still open and festering. <BR> I have been fighting a 27 year bout with both binge eating and insomnia. <BR> I like talking to those who have walked on a similar path as I have, and to learn ways to finally put the ... Thu, 11 Feb 2010 22:51:44 EST My Healing Journey I recently made a new blog entry, and received a comment that led me to this team. I don't want to repeat what was already written, but I'd appreciate it if you'd read my previous blogs "I Quit" that I posted earlier today, and "All The Difference" that was posted last week. We are all on a healing journey, and can learn from one another. Mon, 8 Feb 2010 09:23:14 EST New, Need Support I just recently discovered that I still have some abuse issues to deal with, from childhood. I went to see a counselor last week to talk about present issues, and some past issues arose. I was shocked to realize that I still have things buried deep inside. <BR> <BR> In a way, I'm really glad I discovered this, because I think these issues are at the root of my eating addiction. I am unable right now to consistently stay on a healthy eating plan because I eat to numb my pain. I'm hoping... Mon, 1 Feb 2010 13:07:49 EST Visit the blog: Violence Unsilenced Anyone and everyone who is a survivor of abuse, any form of abuse, should visit this blog. It may save your life. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> <BR> <BR> And my story is here: <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:13:07 EST Hi I'm new & happy new year! Hello everyone! I finally got up the courage to join this team. I'm Chris, age 57, and am finally coming to terms with healing from a very tramatic and abusive childhood, which unfortunately I carried around until just this past weekend. I will fill you in on the details another time as I am still processing everything. I may not heal overnight, but I WILL heal. God bless and thank you for taking the time to "listen". <em>30</em> Tue, 5 Jan 2010 09:29:13 EST I submitted a recipe I just submitted a recipe for SparkPeople. <em>4</em> You can find it down there <em>55</em> <BR> <BR> <link><BR>l.asp?recipe=858835 </link> Fri, 1 Jan 2010 05:07:57 EST Happy New Year Well I wanted it to be a certain thing but it won't show up right. <em>39</em> <BR> <BR> Happy New Year everyone. Fri, 1 Jan 2010 00:12:23 EST Just upset I'm so upset right now and don't know what to do. I called my therapist, but she is unavailable to talk...has been for several days due to the holiday. I cannot go into to things as I get accused of saying things for reasons other than what they are, to vent, to get it out, etc. Not to get attention, to beg, to get someone to fix the problem etc. I don't know what to do. I'm not wanting anyone to fix it. Just someone to listen. <em>46</em> Tue, 29 Dec 2009 13:51:36 EST Healthy Holidays <em>445</em> <em>460</em> <em>445</em> <BR> <BR> Just a note to say I wish you all healthy holidays. <BR> <BR> Holidays can be rough times for survivors....... what with other peoples expectations of family etc. <BR> <BR> I hope you all stay safe and well even if this means forging new traditions! <BR> <BR> Judith & PIckle <BR> <BR> <em>447</em> <em>446</em> <em>447</em> Thu, 24 Dec 2009 15:41:56 EST Im new ot the team and really struggling I can't believe I am trying to vent this out. My whole life story except now is around child incest, rape, physical and emotional abuse. thats how I spent my childhood from 6 to 18 years of age. <BR> Well heres the thing that has me off today. I am on facebook all my biological fathers family that is on there have been writing me. My brother who has just been released from prison (he wasn't an abuser, my dad however was) has chosen to be in OKlahoma with our half sister that we didn't get t... Wed, 23 Dec 2009 13:22:39 EST this help me to over come some of my child abuse. Stop being a grave digger! What is in the past is not your present life, don't keep digging in the past without a purpose to heal. Determine in your soul that you want to be healed and not to just dig and wallow. Healing should always be progressive, no matter how much it hurts. <BR> <BR> Step 2 Face reality. Many people who have been abused have a hard time identifying that they really have been hurt and need help. You can not cap off a volcano of pain and just hope it never erupts. Don't m... Sat, 19 Dec 2009 16:33:05 EST The best gift you can give yourself for Christmas Forgiveness to everyone - no matter how much they may have hurt you. This is the best gift you can give yourself and it keeps on giving day in and day out. <BR> <BR> I never even used to think about this when the children were small, or even the grandchildren come to that. It was all about presents and the festive spirit and I enjoyed every moment of it, the decorating, the tree, the food the happy smilling faces of children and friends. <BR> <BR> I love Christmas. I love the feel of it, ... Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:29:47 EST Christmas Plans Holidays can be a magical time, filled with happy memories, but often for children who are abused, it can be a confusing and scary time. For me, it was a good day in general, but I was always filled with dread for what would come next, and having to dodge abusive family members. As I grew up and got away, it was a day filled with the saddness of not ever having the 'Hallmark family'. Now, it's a nice day, I usually get a few presents for my dad and step-mom, a few for myself, and some for... Thu, 3 Dec 2009 22:15:27 EST Stages of Grief I thought this might be helpful, because we are all in different places of our journey, and I think this can help, knowing it's normal, and okay to feel how we feel. <BR> <BR> I copied most of this from "". <BR> It explains the grief process as it relates to losing a loved one, but can be applied to many other kinds of losses, like innocence, safety, childhood, trust, etc. As well, it used to be taught that you go through the 7 stages in order, but now it is believed t... Tue, 1 Dec 2009 22:29:17 EST Distrubed - stay safe Hi everyone, Judith here, survivor. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I just have to share and not sure if this is the right place but I want us all to be safe sharing on-line. <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I'm writing this here as I think messages here, if folk know our username, are public when searched for. If I'm wrong, please tell us! <BR> <BR> <BR> I have two e-mail addresses.... this one and one I have which has no bearing on my real name. At work today my supervisor was looking on the internet. I men... Fri, 27 Nov 2009 17:08:14 EST Happy Birthday!!! November Birthdays: <BR> 11/24 Joyce <BR> 11/25 Laurie Tue, 24 Nov 2009 19:18:56 EST A Writing Assignment for Survivors.... We had this writing assignment in my Inner Journey team. I thought it might be a good exercise for us Survivors to try! <BR> <BR> REFERENCES: How Do People Know You? <BR> <BR> <BR> When we're applying for a job, one of the things we need <BR> to include in our resumes are references. They are our <BR> past employers, co-workers and other professionals who <BR> can vouch for our skills, competence and even work ethics <BR> should our potential employer need to know more about us. <BR... Mon, 16 Nov 2009 01:01:40 EST Motivation! :)<BR>&NR=1 <BR> <BR> Watch this video! :) It spoke to me. Sat, 14 Nov 2009 15:10:25 EST Tips for a better mood. Going Up! 7 Pointers to Lift a Bad MoodBy Dr. Maoshing Ni - Posted on Mon, Aug 27, 2007, 10:16 pm PDT <BR> Dr. Mao's Secrets of Longevity <BR> by Dr. Maoshing Ni a Yahoo! Health Expert for Alternative Medicine <BR> Visit Alternative Medicine Home » <BR> <BR> More By This Expert <BR> What Soft Drinks are Doing to Your Body7 Natural Ways to Avoid the FluHow Technology Affects Your Food <BR> All Blog Posts <BR> <BR> Did you find this helpful? <BR> Rate this blog entry: <BR> <BR> Sign in... Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:50:54 EST HELP - FREE MEDS AND SUPPORT For help getting prescription meds: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> For help getting prescription meds: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wal-Mart <BR> $4-30 Day or $10-90 day <BR> <BR> omer_list.pdf <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> www.needymed... Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:33:14 EST The Movie Precious I read about this and found it intriguing, and very appropriate for this site. The novel "Push" was made into a movie titled Precious. I've not seen it, but the movie trailer is powerful. <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:28:37 EST Mothers and Daughters Interesting article. I see this trend beginning in my daughters now. And I do recall my mother's eating disorder and negative body image impacting my own self-worth. How about all of you? See below from the daily spark: <BR> <BR> Growing up, my mom was always on (or off) of a diet. I always knew she was "back on the wagon" when the grocery bags were filled with frozen diet meals, meal replacement bars and diet "cookies". Notice I did not say the bags were filled with lots of fresh fruits and... Tue, 10 Nov 2009 07:26:27 EST quote if it is ok i will send more.Today is your day to paint life in bold colors, <BR> set today's rhythm with your heart-drum, <BR> walk today's march with courage, <BR> create today as your celebration of life. <BR> - Jonathan Lockwood Huie Mon, 9 Nov 2009 11:07:03 EST Empowering Focus Empowering focus <BR> From the same exact situation, two different people can achieve two remarkably different results. Why is that? <BR> Because the results you achieve are not determined by the situation itself. The results you achieve are determined by what you choose to focus on. <BR> <BR> If you focus on all the things that could go wrong, your mind will find a way to make those things really happen. But that's not what you want, is it? <BR> <BR> Instead, give yourself an empowerin... Sat, 7 Nov 2009 22:48:09 EST HEre Goes! Well I am on SP alot- and thought it was about time to vent- and see wh o else may have some of the same issues- <BR> <BR> Makensie Phillips and I have a lot in common- but NOT my DAD... He is a saint! <BR> But Dad hates that I wrote about the abuse- Other men too have a hard time with it- They want me to stay silent and put it in my past where it belongs- How do we talk, write and share what happened to us so it dosenot happen to others if our familes are afraid of the judgments of others-... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 04:39:13 EST Hi Hi. My name is Allison. I just joined spark and was glad to find this team. I was sexually abused throughout most of my childhood, both by an uncle and my brother. I am 36 years old now and am working hard to find healing and health. I am looking forward to finding supportive people to join me on my journey. Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:03:46 EST For help getting prescription meds: For help getting prescription meds: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> For help getting prescription meds: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Wal-Mart <BR> $4-30 Day or $10-90 day <BR> <BR> omer_list.pdf <BR> <BR> Call your local social services office or county nurse and they... Sat, 17 Oct 2009 22:19:17 EST Current Family Issues I've been thinking a lot lately about my sister (since her visit last month), and how mean she is to her mom (my step-mom), and my dad (her step-dad), and even me - she is so angry. <BR> <BR> I think she was abused growing up, and my step-mom can't acknowledge that. It was probably a stupid idea, but I tried to talk to my step-mom about it yesterday. She discounted it, and said it was just kids curiosity, so I wanted another more objective opinion - if you are reading this, that means yo... Fri, 2 Oct 2009 15:27:07 EST For Funny Bones Only! Here's a recipe for us: <BR> <BR> Psychotherapy Pie <BR> Makes 1 swell 9-inch pie <BR> <em>495</em> <BR> <BR> 1 flaky 9-inch piecrust <BR> <BR> Filling(use any three or more) <BR> Canned fruit of your choice <BR> Self-doubt <BR> Low self-esteem <BR> Anxiety <BR> Anger <BR> Denial <BR> Low-grade depression <BR> <BR> The best therapist you can afford <BR> <BR> For the crust, use all the compensatory or addictive behaviors you've developed over the years to shield yourself from your true ... Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:21:30 EST Daughters of narcissistic mothers I'm 50 years old and am so grateful to finally have the puzzle pieces come together. The book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers" by Karyl McBride, PhD is a godsend. Having a mother who doesn't love you and thinking that there was something wrong with me, that I was so unlovable, has touched every part of my life. Now I get to heal, and I believe that I can heal. I'm just starting recovery so I feel both hopeful and scared. I came to this group as ... Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:07:25 EST Am I bbeing used or abused I have 3 daughters,the oldest one is good and doesnt give me grief. Tsecond daughter, is bipolar and is verbally and physically aggressive. SHE had me buying groceries for her and her 2 children groceries for the month. Spent well over $400 and that doesnt include getting the kids McDonalds. This daughter refuses to take meds for her illness. She also wants to drive my car,cause she cant afford one. I let her use it for grocery stores and taking kids to doc. appt. The third daughter is 27 and... Thu, 17 Sep 2009 11:56:11 EST One Thing Part of being successful is about practicing. Whether you succeed the first time, or after the 100th time, there is usually a road you followed to get there. Here is a place to let us know 1 thing you had success with today. It can be something like just making it here to post, talking with a friend, emptying the garbage, smiling at someone, getting your waters in, getting any water in at all, laundry, or whatever you had success with (even if it seems insignificant). As I have been doing... Tue, 15 Sep 2009 15:32:13 EST WORKING WITH DREAMS AND NIGHTMARES Hi everyone. <BR> <BR> I am going to blog this as well because it may help others. <BR> <BR> Method 1. Immediately on waking while you still remember your dream clearly finish it in the way that will make you feel good and in control of the situation. <BR> <BR> Often dreams or nightmares leave us feeling out of control and our life or future is at the mercy of others. <BR> <BR> We can finish our dreams in any way we like. It is another writing exercise for those of you who write, and th... Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:27:03 EST Privacy Question - Please Respond As you may know, each team is now given Goodie points to send out to team members. When a Goodie is sent, if it's sent from the team, it shows as a Spark Goodie from Survivors of Abuse. <BR> <BR> Please post your preference here. <BR> <BR> If you DON'T want people looking at your Spark page to know you are in this team, please let us know, so we will only send you Goodies personally, and if you don't care, then you will probably get some of both. Wed, 9 Sep 2009 17:37:24 EST Welcome Ramonafay Co-Leader of Survivors of Abuse! As our team grows, I have asked Ramonafay to join our team as a co-leader! She brings a lot of insight and wisdom in her posts, and has a great sense of humor! She's been here on Spark about 6 months, and while she has just recently joined our team, I have gotten to know her on some other teams, and am blessed by our friendship. Please give her a warm welcome! <BR> Wed, 9 Sep 2009 14:45:39 EST Support Here's a support thread...we are all working on some kind of challenge, so here's a place to post your success, and get support and affirmation! I know it's often hard to say something good about ourselves, because at least for me, as a kid, either no one cared, or I was being selfish. The more I am here on Spark, the more I realize just how important acknowledging my success is, even if it's just that I didn't eat that cookie, or I went for my walk in the rain! So let us know what you suc... Wed, 9 Sep 2009 14:21:47 EST If you were If you were a car, what kind of car would you be, and why? Sun, 6 Sep 2009 23:58:22 EST Find The Positive We all have negative things that happen to us in our day, so this challenge is about taking something negative, and finding something positive in it. It can be something really simple, or an ongoing issue for you. Sun, 6 Sep 2009 23:53:39 EST Write something that makes you smile. Please share with us what made you smile today? Wed, 2 Sep 2009 19:33:51 EST HAPPY BIRTHDAY TREA241!! <em>44</em> <em>410</em> <em>409</em> <em>408</em> <em>144</em> <em>408</em> <em>409</em> <em>410</em> <em>44</em> <BR> Happy Birthday to you <BR> Happy Birthday to you <BR> Happy Birthday to Andrea <BR> Happy Birthday to you <BR> <em>236</em> <em>179</em> <em>107</em> <em>407</em> <em>236</em> <em>407</em> <em>107</em> <em>179</em> <em>236</em> Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:37:35 EST My name is Rena.. Hi have been around sparks for some time, I am usually in real life a passive adhd girl. My mother divorced my dad and married a drunk, they ignored me and I did badly in school as no one had time to get me help.. <BR> You know nice quiet girl, no friends and does badly with homework and organisation was not a problem.. This was mental abuse from my mother, she herself until this day probably doesn't realise she has ADHD either... <BR> My mother never listened to her sister talking about t... Sat, 29 Aug 2009 11:52:36 EST What Helps You Get Through? When you're having a hard day, what helps you get through it? Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:22:57 EST What do you do to keep yourself safe? We have all been hurt in many ways, so here's a place we can share with each other what we do to help ourselves feel and be safe. Sun, 23 Aug 2009 19:35:05 EST Anybody feel "squashed"? I do! I don't usually start a new topic, I try to fit into the other subjects. But this seems a little different to me. <BR> I joined this group not so much as an abused person, but as a person that continues to cower and not stand up for myself. I am really good at saying "OK". To everyone and everything. Looking to learn to be more assertive and hold on to my standards of not hurting others feelings. They seem to be more important to me than my own. <BR> Any thoughts? Sat, 22 Aug 2009 18:43:15 EST Taking Care Here's a thread to post what you did to take care of yourself today. Planning to do something every day is a good way to reinforce the truth that you are worth taking care of! You can post as often as you wish, you may be doing something others haven't thought of, this is a way to support youself and each other. <BR> Fri, 21 Aug 2009 22:24:25 EST Your Privacy You can choose what you want to display on your Spark Page, so it will only display the teams you want. <BR> To do it, go to: MY TOOLS: Start <BR> On the left just under Start and Welcome <BR> Click on (in red): Account / Email Preferences <BR> Click on the Community tab <BR> Click on Spark Teams <BR> Check or uncheck the box under : Display on my Spark Page <BR> Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:21:57 EST To Your Inner Child If you could talk to the child that you were, what piece of advise or comfort would you give them? Share only what you are comfortable with. Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:41:31 EST IF... This thread is for "IF" questions... Tue, 18 Aug 2009 16:11:50 EST 5 minutes Here is a quick challenge thread. The way it works, is that you complete the challenge, and then come up with a challenge for the next reader. <BR> <BR> I challenge the next reader to come up with 5 personal affirmations. Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:59:16 EST Personal Challenges Here is a place to post your challenges for the week, and let us know how it's going! You can do a challenge to get enough sleep, to exercise so many minutes a day, to make some "me time" for yourself, really anything you want to work on, and we can support you in. Mon, 10 Aug 2009 20:53:22 EST LIFE AFTER CHILDHOOD ABUSE Learning how to grow up after suffering from childhood abuse is not an easy journey. We deal with what we can deal with as it comes up. For me it was a slowly unfolding journey, and I am glad I was not confronted with the whole thing all at once. <BR> <BR> We are not all praying people and I understand that too, because I have been there, but along the way I found a loving and caring Creator who actually wanted to help me. I had to "act as if" with this for a long time because I did not see... Sun, 9 Aug 2009 00:35:39 EST Taking Care of Yourself Here is a place to post how you took care of yourself today. Sat, 8 Aug 2009 23:37:06 EST Share Here Please share poems, prose, articles, or anything else you want to share with us! Sat, 8 Aug 2009 23:35:20 EST Drink your 8 waters a day and get a Goodie Post your water here! Thu, 6 Aug 2009 21:29:29 EST Pedometer Challenge Post your steps goal, it can be for a day, a week, a month, whatever you want to make it, and then check in regularly with your results. <BR> The purpose of challenges is to challenge yourself, meaning if you try, you have not failed. <BR> Thu, 6 Aug 2009 21:27:44 EST What do you want? I'm looking for ideas about what you would like for our team. Would you participate in Challenges? Games? Discussions? Information Sharing? <BR> <BR> Please come and let me know! Thu, 6 Aug 2009 12:21:33 EST Write the first word you think of Tree Wed, 5 Aug 2009 20:06:23 EST Favorite Color? What's your favorite color? Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:45:36 EST Please stop by and introduce yourself again I know this team hasn't been very active lately, so I wanted to ask you to introduce yourself again, so we can get to know each other! Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:42:49 EST When did you know? What prompted you to join Spark - When did you know you needed to make some changes? Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:39:16 EST How many log-in points did you get today? <em>88</em> <em>88</em> <em>88</em> <em>88</em> Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:37:22 EST I want to know! Please post, or Sparkmail me your birthday - just month and day is fine, and your Spark birthday, so we can celebrate with you! <BR> <em>410</em> <em>407</em> <em>409</em> <em>408</em> <em>236</em> <em>408</em> <em>407</em> <em>409</em> <em>410</em> Tue, 4 Aug 2009 14:35:37 EST Emoticon for how you feel today Please post an emoticon for how you are feeling today. Sun, 2 Aug 2009 20:39:57 EST When I'm not really hungry This is a collective list of healthy things we can do besides eat when we are not hungry. Please add one or more things that help you. Sun, 2 Aug 2009 20:36:19 EST Things I know for sure I thought we could come up with a list of positive things we know for sure: <BR> <BR> Sun, 2 Aug 2009 20:33:24 EST Are you interested?? Hi, I'm Juls. I joined this team a while ago, and have notices that there have been less and less posts. I found that the was no leader, so I have asked to lead it. <BR> I think this is a very important group, and know that abuse in my past has a lot to do with my weight issues. <BR> I want people to know they are not alone in having been abused, and in recovering. There is hope and help, and together we can do this! Please join me in the amazing journey! <BR> You can post here, or ... Sat, 1 Aug 2009 20:46:51 EST Hi Hi my name is Georgia I was phycically abused as a child by my father,my mother stood by and did nothing to protect my 11 siblings and myself.My mother and father abandoned me for a solid month to live on my own,with no food or caretaker.The youngest was my brother at 3 months,I was five at the time. It is so good to find a team who can relate with me. Thu, 11 Jun 2009 15:44:43 EST Trying to stay motivated Hi everyone. I have been trying to lose weight pretty much my whole life. When I first met my fiance I managed to lose 50 lbs thanks to the new relationship motivation! But now that we're comfortable with each other, I can eat what I want and have now gained almost 30 of that 50 back. <BR> <BR> Short version of my story: I'm 28 now (going on 29). The reason I joined this group is because when I was 12-13 I was sexually abused by my neighbor. I was never raped, but nearly every day for ... Mon, 1 Jun 2009 09:49:52 EST Learning to love myself For a long time now, I have been haunted by my abusive childhood. I have had a very rough time learning who I actually was, because all of my life i have been told that I was really horrible and basically not wanted. After about 15 years of true sole searching I am beginning to actually uncover the real me to the point where I actually love myself for the first time. In the process of finding myself, I have bought a lot of self-help books, Dr. Phil books, did the excercises, done a lot of thi... Tue, 26 May 2009 17:31:00 EST Just Joined Hi everyone. I just joined today, and I am so glad there is a place for victims of abuse. I am turning 30 in about 1 1/2 weeks from now, just graduated from college, have a daughter with special needs, and I am getting married in about 5 weeks. Despite all of my recent successes, I am here because of the metal and emotional abuse I suffered as a child. My father called me all kids of horrible names as a child as well as told me that I would amount to nothing in life. This had gone on from th... Fri, 22 May 2009 17:08:35 EST Hello Just checking in, saying that I am doing alright, I went to my sisters to celebrate my youngest niece and my dads birthday which both are today...I had a blast playing with my 2 nieces, it was great because I havnt seen them for 4 yrs...long story there...anyway, I am doing better and I thank everyone for the support the last few all are great...big warm angel hugs. Mon, 23 Mar 2009 23:04:57 EST I am back from the hospital I just got out of the hospital this afternoon, and am feeling alittle better, I got my meds adjusted, they increased one and added a med for thyroid...I am nervous about being out, afraid of winding up in the same situation without someone to manage my meds...but at the same time I am happy to be out...I didnt sleep well at all while I was there and the food was not all that great, I probably gained weight while I was there, cause the food was not that healthy...also now I can get back to my ... Mon, 16 Mar 2009 19:51:04 EST how do you cope? hi all, <BR> i was wondering how you cope with life and the flash back and live with stress. <BR> <BR> I my self is so full of anger. As i was born with no mental health and with life and how people treated me i develop personality disorder and recurrent depression. <BR> <BR> i have used distraction and try and focus on one thing at a time. But the thing is that therapy is giving me more questions and there for need to look at different stuff IE co dependency , disassociation , hearin... Sun, 15 Mar 2009 15:20:52 EST Controversy.... So, I posted a Blog Yesterday. I spoke of abuse & about the abuse of a certain Famous person. My Blog posted fine. Later I checked in & you have to scroll way down to find my Blog. I mean if we can have a Team for Survivors' of abuse, why cant we discuss it in our Blogs?? I know it is a touchy subject, but so is weight & alot of other things. I dont think I said anything wrong. However, someone obviously did not like what I had to say. The only way to educate about abuse is to talk about it. Sun, 8 Mar 2009 15:44:40 EST Frustrated I have tried every option to get my meds straightened out and have failed at every one of I was supposed to meet with a psychiatrist and found out that she is on vacation...she is almost impossible to see, so I dont know when I will be able to see her it looks like the only option left is to get into the hospital, so I can get my meds adjusted and maybe get help getting health insurance so when I get out maybe I can see a psychiatrist that I can count on...sigh...anywa... Fri, 6 Mar 2009 19:15:26 EST Blood Memory - a Book by Greg Isles I read this book over the past several days, finishing yesterday. I thought it was about something paranormal in which memory can be contained inside a person's blood. But it was really about forensic evidence and the "memory" that blood contains. Meaning that, when a CSI figures out what the blood at a crime scene is telling them, they have the "memories" of the blood. Get me? <BR> <BR> Anyway, the book contained a lot of psychological concepts such as repressed memories and personality di... Mon, 2 Mar 2009 13:37:40 EST AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! possible trigger I was totally cool about the abuse from my dad, atleast for the time being it wasnt bothering, but it came up at my appointment with my therapist I totally cant get it out of my mind, I see myself curled up in a corner while he hit me...I can hear all the bad things he said to me...I just hate that, as if I dont have enough to deal with when I keep thinking of the sexual assault, now these thoughts and feelings come up...I feel like I am completly losing it now...also my therapist... Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:59:19 EST Wow My dad abused me pysically and emotionally for years, he still does emotionally at times now...because of that I usually avoid conversations with him for fear of what might happen...but today I actually had a conversation with him, we talked about me going to a new church he was asking me about it cause it is the same faith as he and my mom go to, I went to their church since I was 4 and finally got tired of being treated bad there...hmm I wish I could get away from my dad, it just isnt as ea... Sun, 22 Feb 2009 22:18:16 EST New here Hi, my name is Monika and I am 34 yrs old. My dad physically and emotionally abused me as a child. I am still living with my parents because I have no where else to go, cant afford my own place right now..but if all works out with my avon business I will soon...anyway, my dad still manages to attack me emotionally, he did tonight. Anyway I was also sexually assaulted when I was 21 and that is the biggest problem for me right now...but anyway that is me..I look forward to getting to know every... Fri, 20 Feb 2009 02:44:21 EST Forgetting Hi Everyone. I have a question for you. Did any of you have abuse that you didn't remember or couldn't remember part of it? I was abused by my brother and others in the neighborhood and pushed it aside and never thought it was abuse. It was just a bad memory. Now, I know differently. I also have horrible memories about my grandfather and it stops at a certain point and I can't put it together. I'm not sure if I want to. Still, I know that something happened. My whole life changed after that. ... Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:36:09 EST Forgetting Hi Everyone. I have a question for you. Did any of you have abuse that you didn't remember or couldn't remember part of it? I was abused by my brother and others in the neighborhood and pushed it aside and never thought it was abuse. It was just a bad memory. Now, I know differently. I also have horrible memories about my grandfather and it stops at a certain point and I can't put it together. I'm not sure if I want to. Still, I know that something happened. My whole life changed after that. ... Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:36:04 EST Forgetting Hi Everyone. I have a question for you. Did any of you have abuse that you didn't remember or couldn't remember part of it? I was abused by my brother and others in the neighborhood and pushed it aside and never thought it was abuse. It was just a bad memory. Now, I know differently. I also have horrible memories about my grandfather and it stops at a certain point and I can't put it together. I'm not sure if I want to. Still, I know that something happened. My whole life changed after that. ... Fri, 26 Dec 2008 23:35:50 EST Hi! Hi everyone. I am new here, but I have already found this message board extremely helpful. I am dedicated to posting on my blog at least once every day, so please check it out :) <BR> Looking forward to getting to know you all and watching each of you become a success story! <BR> --Callie Fri, 28 Nov 2008 02:41:51 EST New from Canada. Hello, <BR> <BR> I'm new here. I'm glad I found a team about this. Recently I started reading, Courage to Heal. It's a good book. I haven't been doing the actual writing they recommend but I've noticed that there is a journal on SP so I think I might. I think I've come a bit of distance with my healing so far, but I know I still have a lot of work to do. It still affects me in my day to day life and it's not fair to me. I've been dealing with trying to feel like it's not my issue, it'... Wed, 26 Nov 2008 02:36:09 EST Handling Unwanted Compliments For a variety of reasons, I don't want to focus on how my body has changed/is changing while getting in shape. Unfortunately, many people (from strangers at the gym to family members) seem h*** bent on pointing it out to me by complimenting me on my progress. How can I discourage these comments without being rude? How can I deflect my reaction to the compliments? (which is "oh no! I'm losing my camoflage! I won't be invisible anymore!) <BR> <BR> thx <BR> M Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:15:08 EST Forgiveness In ly childhood I was hurt by the people that should have protected me. I managed to restore contact with my mother (to a degree) but it was very difficult & emotionaly draining. I'm still not sure I did the right thing. Now my grandmother is in the hospital. I went to visit her once a few weeks ago. I didn't want to, I felt like a hypocrite but I "did my duty". But now it got me thinking. I have NO desire to have those people in ly life again. None whatsoever. my husband who comes from a str... Thu, 9 Oct 2008 03:52:26 EST Religion? (touchy subject) I was just wondering about something. A lot of people on this team seem to have such a strong faith. Why? My father was very religious. DIdn't stop him from abusing me. My mom was very religious didn't help her to rememeber to buy me food or clothing. My grandma was very religious. Didn't stop her from kicking me out when I turned to her for help. I bet the nuns in my school were religious but did that stop them from calling my parents when I went to them for help? And what about the priest w... Tue, 7 Oct 2008 04:35:54 EST Whose still trying to survive? I am still trying to be a survivor of abuse. I am seeing a therapist each week and am re-living some of my childhood horrors...They are horrors to me anyway. <BR> Being personally abused is something that only another abused person can understand. I am trying to deal with SEEING siblings abused. Somehow I can get past some of my abuse but being a child and not being able to SAVE my siblings, especially my little brother, is tearing me up. <BR> It was so many years ago but I can still see it l... Sat, 27 Sep 2008 19:32:32 EST N00B Hi I'm new to the group. Even at 30 I'm still strugeling to overcome my effed up childhood (pardon my french). I believe that (to a degree) the lack of coping mechanisms & security that said childhood left me with is why I'm an emotional eater. But this too shall pass! Fri, 26 Sep 2008 08:50:43 EST Stood Up for myself My husband and I have been having discussions/arguments about a few things lately and I actually got the nerve and told him that this is the way things are going to be and if he doesnt want to support me and our children then he is free to go. The look of shock that was on his face was priceless..wish I had a camera. I have never really stood up to him felt good to let my thoughts and feelings be known. If you want to know what exactly has been going on I will post in my blog fe... Thu, 25 Sep 2008 05:51:54 EST Keeping Motivated Good Morning all. Hope you all had a great weekend. I just wanted to pose this question/topic to all of you. How do you guys find the strength to stay motivated on your weight loss goals? I like to work out at home after the kids go to school because I cant really afford a gym membership and feel very self concious working out in front of others, but my husband is an apartment maintanence guy and is in and out all day. When I pop in one of my work out dvds and am exercising all he can do... Mon, 22 Sep 2008 06:49:52 EST Just Joined name is Mary. I am 28 married and have 2 beautiful daughters ages 6 and 5. I am currently in an abusive least i think it is. He has never hit me hard or anything..but has pushed me and he his ver verbally and emotionally abusive...loves to demean me in front of the kids and others and yells and screams alot over minute things. I hope this is the right group to be in. I look forward to being part of this group and be able to help and recieve help and insight when i... Wed, 17 Sep 2008 11:55:13 EST curious about something <BR> Hello everyone, it's me again. <BR> <BR> I was just kind of curious about something. What keeps us going? Even though every minute of the day feel like a struggle to survive, and knowing that each hour to come is an hour you are going to have to live in pain. What is it that keeps us going what is the driving force. <BR> <BR> em xxx Tue, 5 Aug 2008 14:03:37 EST what are you really feeling? Just a thought, <BR> <BR> so you can vent how you feel without having to go in any detail, and without having to upset anyone in real life and so you know people are reading and caring about you! <BR> <BR> xx <BR> Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:06:10 EST just letting you all know hi all, <BR> i am of on hoilday for 10 days, so i just want to wish you all well and keep up the hard work. <BR> i am going to keep up my exercise. As i have a pedometer to count my steps and i will be swimming one of the days. i wil do a exrcise diary with how many step i have done and what i have eaten. then i will put it in my blog when i get back. <BR> i have to love ya and leave ya now <BR> take good care every one <BR> em xxx Sat, 19 Jul 2008 11:18:11 EST sigh good afternoon <BR> well today mood is flat,tired, low and my anxity is hiting the roof. <BR> I doing well on the excising but not good on the food front. i know it not rocket science to say no and not put sweets and chocolet to my mouth. so why am i so weak willed. sigh!!!! <BR> any one got any idea's to help on this? <BR> i'm getting fed up with having to explane the way i am to my husband. we are going to see my psychiatric doctor as steve my husband wants to ask loads of questions abo... Tue, 15 Jul 2008 10:03:44 EST my story ******** may trigger ********* If ya want to have a look on my blog. It will give you all a back ground of my colorfull past. <BR> thanks for takeing the time out to care <BR> em xx <BR> Sun, 13 Jul 2008 03:33:43 EST Help Please I am a survivor of abuse - physical ;I know of and suspect more (Dad and 1st husband). I thought I got my kids out in time (at 9-boy;7-girl;5-girl) but I was wrong. My son was my protector back then and I left when he hurt my son. But thats over and done many years. My son is an adult (39)now and lost custody of my 14 yr old granddaughter last Jan for abusing his 2nd wife.He was sent to jail for 5 months.Second wife doesn't want her around. So my grand daughter was taken by CPS and sent to h... Sat, 12 Jul 2008 18:13:10 EST introduction to Em :-) As it’s taking some time to find my feet hear. <BR> Just thought I will introduce my self, <BR> My name is Emma <BR> I am 30 years of age. <BR> Married to Steve for 9 years and have one child name Rowan. <BR> I had a bad up bring and went in to care at the age of 11. there is a my story in my blog if ya want to have a look. <BR> I have been diagnosed with Depression, PSD, and Borderline personally disorder. <BR> looking forward to meeting you all <BR> em xxx <BR> Sat, 12 Jul 2008 04:02:48 EST I could not Talk about this for along time... When I was 18 I met a Guy who seemed Sweet & really into me. He even told me about clothing I wore to School, he knew I liked Aerosmith. I later learned that he used to watch me from afar. <BR> <BR> We did alot of exciting things. The Guy before him did not seem so into me. (Until he tried to Contact me a Year after we broke up, oh, I dont think soo)! <BR> <BR> Anyway a couple Months past & I angered him. He starting Walking away so I followed him to apologize. After we got out of the crowd... Fri, 4 Jul 2008 18:29:29 EST Making the memories go away? How do you make the memories go away? How do you go year by year with the memories of whatever your abuse was, and look in the mirror and NOT see the abuse? Not feel what was said and done to you? <BR> MY memories are not everyday, but they are always there, waiting to make me feel bad about myself. <BR> <BR> I just thought some of you might share and it could help me. <BR> <BR> Thanks for listening. <BR> <BR> Laurie Thu, 19 Jun 2008 09:15:39 EST Glad to have found y'all... I was wishing one of your team members Happy Birthday and found out about your team. Serendipity is a wonderful thing. Last month I lost 10 pounds on another site. Then I started to plateau. Then I just gave up. A friend told me about SparkPeople and I still haven't been able to get my mind set to get back with the program but I am reaching out to others. I think my defeatest attitude comes from being abused as a child (molested by my Sunday school teacher's husband and incest). I just... Sun, 8 Jun 2008 21:04:23 EST Worthless Today, during a fight (over something WAY silly), I told my man that he was being selfish. Of course, he took it that I was CALLING him selfish. But the more I explained, the more pissed he got. <BR> <BR> In the end, he told me I was worthless to him. <BR> <BR> Aftewards, of course, he said he was sorry. <BR> <BR> I had a panic attack at one point during the first due to an enormous amount of flashbacks. He started towards me at first, which didn't help too much (but last time, he held me... Sat, 17 May 2008 14:55:25 EST i always thought i was alone in suffering silence hey everybody, <BR> i guess it may be inappropriate to say gee it is so good to see everybody here, but it really is good to know that i am not the only one who is suffering in silence about abuse. i am sure a lot of you can identify with that feeling. my abuse started like a lot of others in my childhood. i was 3 years old and my "grandmother" tried to slit my throat with a butcher knife. thank god she only nicked me, but i still remember the horror of her sitting on my chest and the he... Fri, 9 May 2008 22:56:54 EST Each day makes me stronger.... Hello all! <BR> <BR> I too am a survivor of being molested during childhood, raped at ages 12 and 18 (both by people I knew very well), as well as a domestic violence survivor. <BR> <BR> There is no way that I can deny how this has been connected to my eating habits, and even though I'm in a safe & healthy relationship now (and happier than I've ever been), I cannot deny that there are inner demons that still continue to haunt me. I'm working on getting rid of them one by one, so that th... Tue, 29 Apr 2008 14:22:31 EST Intro My name is Liz. I was in an abusive relationship for two years and after he almost killed me, I sent him to jail Aug. 07 for more than a year. My mom also passed away at 52 from leukemia in 2006. <BR> <BR> I lost a bunch of weight after all this happened. This time, I gained 20 back and most of it is carelessness as opposed to emotional eating and depression. However, the issues still sometimes affect me, even after lots of therapy -- I look forward to sharing with a group that can relate . ... Thu, 10 Apr 2008 16:24:19 EST I'm new here My name is Sue and I look forward to being there for all of you. We all know what it's like to go through abuse. <BR> <BR> Love, <BR> Sue Wed, 2 Apr 2008 16:53:36 EST messed up Hey, my names angie and wow you guys dont know how glad i am to find this board on here. but wow, im about to type stuff ive never told anyone. I been sexually abused from very very young age by my biological father when he had visitation, plus he would tell me how i was fat and shouldnt eat or wouldnt let me eat sometimes. I was 5 at first when that happened. Some times didnt let me eat all day, i was too fat, at 5 years old! wow, i belived him, have belived people my whole life listened to ... Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:33:07 EST Another Newbie Hi, I just found this team. I have held in so much for so long, now I have found others who have experienced abuse and are losing weight. I need all of the help I can get. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks. Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:10:22 EST I'm new, too Hi, I've just joined this group. I've never talked much about it but I was raped when I was a teenager and I know it has affected me in ways I didn't want to admit. I've lost 40ish pounds now that I had gained right after, and I'm trying to build myself a healthier life where I don't feel ashamed or like I have to hide what happened. Most people in my daily life have no idea, I didn't even tell my family! Sat, 9 Feb 2008 12:05:22 EST Montel I don't know if anyone watched Montel today (1/28/2008) but I would like to talk about it. Mon, 28 Jan 2008 14:53:02 EST New to the Group Hello all - <BR> <BR> I just joined Spark and was really happy to see there was a group like this. I was a victim of abuse from a childhood friend, and was later raped in my early twenties. I'm tired of being a victim - and I feel like the first step is just stating what happened (which I haven't really done...). <BR> <BR> I feel like the abuse has been the biggest reason I've never been successful in losing the weight. I always had that feeling that if I stay this way I won't be noticed... Fri, 25 Jan 2008 22:33:40 EST New to group Hi, I'm new to the group. I was in a 5-year abusive marriage. I have been out of it for almost 20 years, but recently reread Dr. Phil's Weight Loss Challenge book (and actually did the exercises this time) and he talks about how important it is to heal feelings. I realized that I started gaining weight during my marriage and have continued ever since because I let myself believe I wasn't worth any better. My family has always said I was still letting my ex affect my life, so now I am telling ... Mon, 21 Jan 2008 15:37:52 EST Becky from Florida Hello all! I was really glad to see there is a Sparks group for SOA (Survivors of Abuse) on Sparks! About me: I'm 49 (quickly approaching my 50th birthday ..... yikes!). I was abused by an older male cousin for many years, never told anyone, never had any therapy. <BR> <BR> I am doing well now, and I like to be able to help others to get through the steps necessary to get past the abuse, I guess. I live in Florida with my husband of almost 9 years, with our dogs. Joe (dh) is a Christian boo... Fri, 18 Jan 2008 08:21:47 EST New to this group My name is Joyce, 61yrs old and a victim of abuse,by a person I took in who alleged she was abused by her hubby. First couple of years were great,she was like a sister. Than I became ill and it was down hill after that. She abused me physically,mentally and attempts on my life. I also was held hostage in my home. She also drugged me to the point i couldnt stand up and was at deaths door a few times. Prayed to God to help me and He moved her out of my house and one month later she passed away.... Sun, 30 Dec 2007 15:38:18 EST HI all Hi, I'm a bit nervous about joining this group. I've always belonged to survivor groups online that were either not open to the public (had to apply and prove belonged in group) or was so hard to find that few non-abuse survivors ever found us. I'm DID so some of my posts may be a bit different. The littles won't post but there are others who will if they start to feel safe or are majorly in trouble. NOt sure what else to say right now. Wed, 19 Dec 2007 14:24:44 EST Need your help and prayers I have some really exciting news to share and need your prayers to bring it about. I don't know if you know my situation here, but, I am in a very bad marriage and am disabled and obese....for now. I have written to the Oprah show about why there isn't places for women like me, older, disabled, abused and afraid, and they have contacted me about talking to me about the show and will be calling this afternoon, Please pray this happens cause we need places where women can feel safe and have a p... Thu, 6 Dec 2007 12:53:09 EST New to Group I was in a five year long abusive relationship. It was mostly mental abuse. He also cheated on me, and discouraged me from taking care of myself. When we met, I was doing beauty pageants, and working out every day. Soon after we became serious, he started hiding my gym shoes, calling me vain, and "Selfish" because I read "Self" magazine. <BR> His family was in on the act as well, they put me down because I didn't eat enough. They claimed that they hated taking me to restaurants because... Mon, 3 Dec 2007 13:23:35 EST Nervous newbie here Well, today I started the process of hopefully getting out of here. I was so glad to find this group and I hope its ok that I joined. I have been living in a sort of hell for about 28 years now, and even tho I left for 3 I had to come back when I got really ill. Things are only getting worse. He controls everything, but, the little disability check I get. He has two vans and I am not allowed use of either. He has not let me get proper dental care in many years and if I hadn't gotten ill... Wed, 28 Nov 2007 15:27:55 EST hello I am new to this site (any online diet/support sites)....I really want to lose weight and get in shape.... In the past i was small but firm and muscular from the years of dance & gymnastics. but the yrs of bad eating habits, the lack of activity and not sleeping well have caught up with me....sooo... onward towards success....see you later..nikki Wed, 26 Sep 2007 22:46:06 EST hi i am new I was molested alot as a child as my parents were addicted to gambling and still are i sometimes have nightmares so i have to sleep to the tv i also need to smoke pot to get rid of depression i only do it every once ina while as i do have a family i would rather do that than take pills as i hate pills my mother was very abusive growing up and i have a very hard time trying to mend all those woes i really dont have a lot of support in that way i have went to counselling but it was when i was y... Mon, 10 Sep 2007 16:56:19 EST Has Anyone Talked to A Therapist? I was just wondering if anyone has sought help from a doctor/therapist. <BR> The reason I ask - I finally gathered up my courage and called a person my OB recommended and have an appoint in 2 weeks. <BR> I cried after I made the appointment but I'm so tired of holding this all in. <BR> So if anyone has gone or is going, what can I expect? <BR> thanks Wed, 5 Sep 2007 21:40:00 EST HI I am new i AM SHELAGH I survived 2 marriages that affected me greatly in how I live now. I look forward to healing from the things that happened, and the poor choices I made, the poor judgment and trusting others too easily. <BR> I find that I have been making good progress in my confidence and stability, have huge debts to pay off from giving money to others, paying their bills(mainly my 2 husbands) but am knuckling down. <BR> I want my daughters and son to have good relationships and the best thin... Sun, 2 Sep 2007 16:53:10 EST helloim new hello im a survivor ofabuse andR#p#i i started gaining weight at the age of 11i rember my sister saying look theresa you got a spare tire im from michigan Fri, 31 Aug 2007 22:09:09 EST healing songs hi, i posted this in another place that is maybe not as well visited. i was listening to tori amos's "little earthquakes" which has a lot of songs about working through abuse. i'm wondering what other people listen to for comfort and to work through things? <BR> jen Mon, 27 Aug 2007 01:11:55 EST hi hi, my name is jen and i'm new to the site. i never imagined there would be so much to it. i was just looking for a calorie counter, and bam! fitness tracker, other goals, information, teams? i wanted to join a couple of these teams because my abuse is the main reason i have problems with compulsive behaviors-eating, addiction, among other things. night is the main time i have problems. so, i guess now i have something more constructive to do at night!! Sun, 26 Aug 2007 23:55:02 EST request for help!!! I am starting this as a request for help!!! I don't know if any of you are religious in any way; I'm not. I'm asking that you pray, send good energy, think good thoughts or whatever you do in the direction of my baby cousin. He was taken to the hospital and they don't know what is wrong with him. I don't know anything more than that but I'm am really worried about him. Please help if you can. His name is Isaiah. Thanks. <BR> <BR> *Jen* Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:07:39 EST New here Hi, I am Charlene. <BR> <BR> I never feel truly comfy in groups that deal with this subject but since it is a huge part of my weight problem, I know that it's best to deal with this also or else I will just keep repeating the same weight loss/weight gain patterns and I don't want to do that anymore. <BR> <BR> I don't consider myself a victim anymore. I haven't for the longest time. <BR> <BR> My story of abuse began at the age of 11 when my step-father (I thought he was my dad at the time)... Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:32:34 EST Hey, is everyone ok out there? I am praying that everyone had a fulfilling weekend and holiday. Anybody need to talk? <em>220</em> Tue, 29 May 2007 16:56:06 EST sad I am kinda sad.... I have been thinking about "mum stuff" lately... about how she played mind games with me and emotionally absued me. I see other mums who are ok and it makes me sad that I was brought up in such an enviroment. Guess I am greiving for a childhood and adulthood influenced by such a woman. <BR> <BR> And I am ashamed to say I kept going back to see her and wanted more than ever to be told that she loved me... which she never did. Now she has died she will never transform into a... Wed, 23 May 2007 19:52:22 EST Today's Fitness Goal Hey everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I started a team where we can affirm out loud what our activity goals are for the day. We are most likely not bodybuilders or competitive athletes. But we do play with our kids, walk our dogs, and do situps in front of the TV. Every goal (no matter the size) is an opportunity for accomplishment. Come share with me as we root one another on. Search "Today's Fitness Goal" on the Sparkteams main page or hop by my Sparkpage to grab the link to the ... Mon, 21 May 2007 12:14:00 EST A Great Book I hope I haven't shared this on too many sites :) <BR> It's just that this was such a hard book for me to read and even harder to admit things were wrong in my childhood. So I want to share this with others that may be going through some of the same things. Maybe I'll share more later - this is just one chapter! <BR> <BR> Great Book for Adult Children with Toxic Parents <BR> It took me awhile but I was finally able to read "Toxic Parents, Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your L... Sat, 19 May 2007 19:51:45 EST Welcome Welcome to our newest team mate SDISINGER. You will get a lot of support from us. <BR> <BR> Fri, 16 Feb 2007 12:39:59 EST A new team I can't remember if I posted that I started a new team "Victims of Child Sexual Abuse". As people start coming out and admitting that they are a victim. I am incouraging them, to come to this team. A team that has helped me over come and lot of hang ups. <BR> <BR> And even though, I still think of myself as a victim, I am getting closer to being a survivor. <BR> <BR> <em>247</em> Tue, 6 Feb 2007 09:55:19 EST a new week * Mon, 5 Feb 2007 09:50:17 EST One Large Team Hi, I just joined your team. I have also started a new team (today). Right now I am, of course, the only member. I invite you to visit my SparkPage and to join my team. My team is called: Depressed? Abused? For Women Only. <BR> <BR> I have viewed all 81 pages of SparkTeams, and my goal is to merge ALL Teams that deal with depression and/or abuse into one LARGE team, instead of having a bunch of little teams. After all, the more members, the more support. <BR> <BR> Hope you'll join. <BR> ... Sat, 9 Dec 2006 05:25:30 EST Hi I wanted to say hello because I just joined this group. Are there really only four of us? <BR> I'm going to be 49 tomorrow. I like birthdays, still feel like a little kid for almost every one. About a month ago, I decided to sever just about all contact with my parents and brother. I still wonder if it was the right thing to do, but they are so (*$# nasty! I want to write about it here sometime, although I'm sure others have experienced worse things. Right now I have to get some work done; I'... Mon, 25 Sep 2006 17:22:40 EST Survivors of Abuse Group Forum I am not a victim, I am a survivor. Fri, 28 Jul 2006 05:03:32 EST