SparkPeople Caregiver Children Team Messageboard Support for those who care for parents, emotionally or physically, to express feelings and get advice. Whether your parent is disabled or aging, this is a place for caregivers to relate and release. SparkPeople Caregiver Children Team Messageboard Favourite Quotes To Encourage and Inspire “To care for those who once cared for us is one of the highest honors.” Tia Walker, The Inspired Caregiver: Finding Joy While Caring for Those You Love Sat, 22 Jun 2019 02:00:26 EST Trying to help my dad..should I fundraise???? HELP My dad had a stroke in August and just moved to long-term care through Medicaid. The nursing home will take all but $44 per month of his income (Social Security) to pay for his care. He still owes the nursing home $1085 before Medicaid kicked in. He still has other bills to pay (personal loan,cell phone). How can he pay these with no income? I am an only child and my family(2 kids) is barely making it. I am looking at GO FUND ME..I feel terribly guilty. But then I am not asking for myself. An... Thu, 24 Jan 2019 13:20:17 EST What Caregiving Tips Have Helped You the Most? Slow and steady wins the race. That works for weight loss, and caregiving. You can't do everything all at once, but you can do something that helps. One thing at a time. Caregiving can be the elephant in the room, but we can deal with that monster one small bite at a time. No one wants to think about caregiving, most family members just ignore the issue, choosing to "remember them the way they were". But we're here, hip deep in caregiving, and struggling in the mire. <BR> <BR> Take a deep br... Tue, 7 Aug 2018 10:43:01 EST Challenge of the month Sometimes we just need something to challenge us to go beyond our current level. That's the idea behind the challenge of the month. So, I have two things for July: <BR> <BR> 1. I'm going to name this month's challenge as a fitness challenge. Can you add 15 minutes per day to your fitness schedule? That could be one minute an hour spread through the day, or five minutes before mealtimes, or fifteen minutes all at once. You might choose to walk to an errand instead of drive, take the stairs in... Sun, 1 Jul 2018 02:37:59 EST Why Are You Here? What brought you to this team? Are you a current, or past , or future caregiver? What did you most hope to find when you joined? Helpful hints, a place where people understood your frustrations, or something else? This team was a lifesaver to me when I first started caregiving full-time. And it can help others now, but only if we participate. <BR> <BR> Caregiving is the hardest, yet most valuable service we can render to our parents, or other loved ones. It was the hardest job I ever did, y... Mon, 11 Jun 2018 22:42:40 EST Stress and caregiving There are so many issues relating to caregiving, one of the biggest has to be the toll that stress takes on our bodies, especially when we're too busy to take care of ourselves. Take five minutes. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Do it again. If you've been sitting for a while, stand up, stretch, get a glass of water and rehydrate. It only takes a few minutes at a time to make changes. Read a few comics or a corny joke. Have a "spare-minute joke" competition, coming up ... Sun, 22 Apr 2018 21:24:20 EST Sauron's eye I woke up last week with a really horrific eye infection. Since I'm the sole caretaker for my adorable elderly handicapped mother my plan has always been just don't get sick. When my husband was alive he could always back me up but now that I'm on my own I can't afford any kind of weakness and this past week has been just very tricky. I had somebody coming in three days a week for three hours at a time just to give me some respite and I've had to send her away for the month because this is... Sun, 17 Sep 2017 01:21:44 EST Coping with demetia I've been AWOL for quite a while, trying to catch up on the things left undone while taking care of mom. Its good to be back. For those that don't know, my mom and I were frequent compatriots, hiking together, vacationing together, doing crafts, working in the garden. Even when I was married and gone, we still did things together. Then, I helped take care of my mom for ten years after she gave up driving-- doing her errands, paying the bills, and driving down to bring her a hot meal most nigh... Thu, 3 Aug 2017 16:43:08 EST Hello! Hello team! <BR> <BR> I've been a SP member for quite sometime, however, intermittently active. I've been away for about a year and have recently hit a plateau. While cleaning up my SparkPage, I decided to delete my groups and start over. That's how I found this group.! I truly believe this team is what I needed! I'm a full time caregiver for my Deaf mother who had a massive stroke in 2011. I'm an only child and we've never had a healthy relationship. It's been quite difficult and has caused... Mon, 19 Jun 2017 09:05:28 EST New July 2016 Hi, I joined this team because I have just moved my mom from living alone 1 1/2 hr away to living in a senior apartment near me. I work two jobs during the school year. My siblings live 3 hours away and my daughter lives 45 min away. The bulk of mom's care is on me. We have looked at a couple of area agencies that will help get her out into the community more. We are checking into cleaning services, but so far I am doing that. <BR> Looking forward to meeting others in my situation and ... Wed, 20 Jul 2016 22:10:16 EST Team Bonus Spin points Did you click the "flag" to get bonus spin points for yourself and for our team? Please do!! You can also post your spin total on this thread and get even more points for participating on the message boards. Sat, 16 Jul 2016 15:56:32 EST Message Removed Message Removed Thu, 13 Aug 2015 02:00:05 EST Hi I'm Nelly Little bit about myself. <BR> I'm 34 years old and have been dealing with my weight since my late teens (I was a scrawny child until puberty took over and have been struggling ever since). <BR> I became a housewife a year ago leaving a veterinary technician career of 12 years to take care of my family (husband, 6 animals and eventually my in-laws). I've been the primary caretaker for my in-laws since September and it's been a secret blessing. I've come to call them Mum and Dad, we've grown c... Thu, 29 Jan 2015 10:38:02 EST Intro Hello everyone. Just call me Dez. I am widowed and care for my 90 year old mother. I have been caring for her for over 10 years now. She has dementia and is at the stage equivalent to a 2 year old and can't communicate very well. She is the sweetest person in the world and tries so hard to do her best and is cheerful and loving, which I know is a blessing. I have been doing this awhile with no help as I am an only child. I have grown so much through this process, doing things I never th... Fri, 23 Jan 2015 14:00:00 EST Complicated life... THIS is for ME!!! New to Spark, 49, newlywed (3 years), mom lives with us, dementia, his mom is in ICU post car accident, & I'm pulling my hair out! Mon, 20 Oct 2014 23:01:04 EST VA Aid & Attendance & Feeling Hopeless Hi, my 90 yr. old mother suffers from dementia and has really gone down since January. Up until then, she was living in her home but now she's in a rehab facility and she has to leave there on Thursday after less than 30 days because her rehabilitation has reached a "plateau." We're looking for an assisted living facility with a memory unit and we heard Mother might be able to get some VA Aid and Attendance benefits since my father served in the navy during WWII. <BR> <BR> BUT, I've been re... Sun, 15 Jun 2014 23:34:34 EST Resolutions Time for a new game plan to go with the new year. Caregiving can be very draining, and it's easy to rely on food for comfort instead of just sustenance. It's also hard sometimes to keep to a schedule, get enough sleep, or get regular exercise when you're caring for others, especially if you're dealing with dementia patients. <BR> <BR> But there is hope, and help, if we all work together. Stop in and share your goals, difficulties and hopes for the coming year. Together, we can make a dif... Tue, 7 Jan 2014 02:22:40 EST Parent Child Relationship Did you ever notice at what point you had crossed over from being your parent's child, and having to address them as their parent? I am getting there now. How did you handle it? Sun, 29 Dec 2013 14:48:45 EST 95 Year Old Mother In Law In Hospital My MIL has been in the hospital since Thursday night. She has sepsis, C Diff and aspirating pneumonia. The hospital has been treating her with IV antibiotics, breathing treatment. Her kidneys are starting to fail and the sepsis is really invading her body. <BR> The dr.'s keep asking us if we want to stop the antibiotic treatment and bring Hospice in to let her die in peace. My husband and I feel that it is too soon to stop the antibiotics and we would like to give her a chance to get better. ... Sat, 26 Oct 2013 13:06:04 EST I'm now retired I'm not retired and looking forward to it. I'm starting to go through the house this week and just relax. Next week I start working with children doing music therapy. I have a music background and really looking forward to that. I also will be going through my mom's things and seeing what we will keep and what we will give away. I'm looking forward to this. It was a bit sad on Friday when I left. I really liked my job and the people that worked for me. I'm also excited about my future... Sun, 1 Sep 2013 14:11:40 EST Urgent Question: Care at home or at a facility? This is probably the most agonized over question: "Should I continue to take care of my loved one at home, or should we consider a facility?" Surely nothing has caused more sleepless nights, family fights, or questions about rights than this sticky wicket. So, let's talk about it. <BR> <BR> We have a team member in need of assistance, please help. Those of you who have already gone down this path, please pop in and share your experiences. <BR> <BR> I took care of my mother in her home... Thu, 8 Aug 2013 02:21:45 EST Coping Techniques with Dementia patients 1. The first thing I learned was not to try to reason with a dementia patient. Their world is different than ours, and what seems ridiculous to us is quite real to them. So, the secret is to find a way to interact with them in their world. I drove myself crazy trying to get mom to see "the truth". Only it wasn't true for her. If she thought there was a tornado outside (because we were watching a TV show with a tornado, something we quickly learned not to do), she truly believed it. Try... Thu, 25 Jul 2013 02:20:39 EST challenge what am i thankful for. <BR> How she makes me laugh <BR> Our close bond <BR> Mon, 22 Jul 2013 21:00:57 EST introduction i am caring for my mother who has dementia. <BR> It I just a nightmare some days. <BR> I am glad that i can share my feelings Mon, 22 Jul 2013 12:44:03 EST Message Removed Message Removed Wed, 10 Jul 2013 22:25:09 EST Hello -new to team Hi there! I am Kristin - My DH and I just moved my father in with us. He spends most winters with us anyhow but the last couple years he has been bad about taking care of himself so we decided and he agreed to move from NY to NC to live with us full time. <BR> <BR> It is a bigger adjustment than I ever imagined - not that he is making it easy for us. We spent 2 weeks in NY cleaning out 34 years of stuff - packing and getting the house on the market.... been home a little over a week and sti... Tue, 9 Jul 2013 21:35:36 EST Introvert or extrovert? ARE YOU AN INTROVERT OR AN EXTROVERT, AND HOW DOES THAT RELATE TO CAREGVING? <BR> <BR> I heard an interesting speaker today, talking about the real difference between introverts and extroverts, and how that relates to ministry. According to him, this isn't about whether you relate well to people or not, but how you recharge your batteries. When you've had a full day, do you seek alone time to recharge your spirit, or do you head out to a gathering of friends? Introverts seek private time ... Wed, 12 Jun 2013 22:06:08 EST Message Removed Message Removed Tue, 11 Jun 2013 20:44:49 EST Message Removed Message Removed Wed, 5 Jun 2013 17:00:05 EST Help for our loved ones I just read the acupressure article here at Spark, and wondered how much this might help us? The article is located at <link><BR>s_articles.asp?id=1806 </link> (You even earn SparkPoints for reading it!) <BR> <BR> " In a February 2007 issue of the Journal of Clinical Nursing, it was reported that acupressure sessions given regularly to patients with dementia resulted in decreases in wandering and a reduction in verbal and physical aggression. And the... Fri, 31 May 2013 12:50:52 EST Sometimes we need a little silliness (jokes) Sometimes we just need a little silliness. A smile to get us through the difficult times. So, here's the first joke-of-the-day. Please feel free to add your own. This one came via email from a friend: <BR> <BR> "I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, <BR> so I got my doctor's permission to Join a fitness club and start exercising. <BR> <BR> I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. <BR> I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired <BR> for an hour… Bu... Fri, 24 May 2013 00:07:12 EST Nursing Home Advice Requested My mother-in-law just entered a nursing home, due to a fall and a broken hip. This has been a new experience for me, I was an in-home full-time caregiver for my own mother previously. So, I'm asking advice from those of you have already gone the nursing home route, what should I know about? What did you do for entertainment, is there anything I should beware of, any special tips you can share? Mon, 20 May 2013 18:55:43 EST How do you deal with holidays? This last holiday totally confused my MIL, who has Alzheimer's. The change in routine, and the unfamiliar gifts really confused her. She read her Mother's Day card over and over and over again, being touched and crying each and every time. She cried for most of our visit, but I hated to take the card away, because it was hers and she appreciated it. <BR> <BR> What do you do to celebrate holidays? Do you celebrate as normal, even if it is a bit confusing; or scale down the celebration, or... Sat, 18 May 2013 12:22:02 EST Sending Sympathy TKRYSTINA lost her mom on Mother's Day, we're sending her our love today, as she prepares for the viewing. If you get a chance, send her a hug today. Her blog is at <link><BR>urnal_summary.asp?id=TKRYSTINA </link> Thu, 16 May 2013 12:21:44 EST How was your Mother's Day? Holidays can be difficult when you're caregiving. Especially with dementia patients, that get even more confused by the change in routine. For those of us who have lost our mothers, it can leave a void. How did you handle Mother's Day this year? Thu, 16 May 2013 00:34:17 EST Where are you in your caregiving journey? I've been away for a while, now I'm back and wondering how everyone is coming on your journey. Are you still caregiving? If so, is it a parent, grandparent, spouse, child, friend, other? What stage are they in, what can they do, what can you do? How much freedom do you have to take a little time away? Let's share where we are in our journey, so that others will be able to relate, and ask questions if they haven't hit that stage yet. Wed, 15 May 2013 21:38:16 EST Message Removed Message Removed Thu, 28 Mar 2013 18:27:53 EST Strength in numbers Hi all <BR> <BR> Not sure if I ever introduced myself when I joined awhile back. I am a reluctant caregiver and today is just one of those days when I couldn't do one more thing and turned my phone off. I did post a long whiney rant post on SP today and now I feel kind of bad, no one wants to read that stuff, I'm sure! <BR> <BR> On a good note, when my sister was deathly ill last summer it was a 'wake up' call to me to take care of myself while I could and I've lost a lot and am 10 lbs... Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:59:31 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 12 Oct 2012 15:25:42 EST Thinking outside the box Hi everyone.. Hope you're all doing well and are ticking along .. keep smiling!! It really does work to elevate low moods! <BR> <BR> I just thought I would share what is going on in my life right now with regards my mother's care and my role in that. I know that some of you have already walked this path which I am now on and some are just embracing the challenge. I hope it will help some of you not feel so alone if you are going through similar challenges with your parents or whomever you ... Tue, 25 Sep 2012 08:12:07 EST Tomorrow I turn 64 Well tomorrow I turn the great age of 64 and will retire one year from this August. I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to teach piano and volunteer a lot. This is my first birthday without mom and she always made my day special. She made all of our birthdays very special. I probably won't hear from my sister but that is fine. She has made her own life and has been in the hospital every week since July. She comes home and drinks until she is out of money. She is acutally killing hers... Wed, 15 Aug 2012 18:51:26 EST Overwhelmed... My mom is back in ICU (and that's been an ordeal - see my blog entry), we have to move my oldest son into the dorm on Thursday, my youngest son starts school on Friday, and then Orencia treatments next Friday. My husband will be seeing the Neurosurgeon next week to schedule his back surgery. I'm feeling completely beside myself! <BR> <BR> In the meantime, I still have to work and maintain the house. Ugh, I hate whining, but I'm really feeling overwhelmed today. <BR> <BR> Mon, 13 Aug 2012 09:19:08 EST Message Removed Message Removed Wed, 1 Aug 2012 00:55:12 EST My Sister As many of you know my sister drinks and now she really is having problems. She was in the hospital last week because she was bleeding and they needed to give her blood. While she was there I got the usualy I'm going to stop and take my medicine. She went home Wednesday and started drinking again - Thursday was her birthday. I called her at 7:50 a.m. and she was drunk. Then she called me three times last night so drunk you could not understand her. This morning she called me and told me... Fri, 27 Jul 2012 18:51:58 EST Mom is home from rehab - I'm nervous She's super excited to be home, and actually doing very well, but I'm a wreck. I've found her on the floor so many times in the last few months, a couple of times completly out of it mentally, and I'm just not sure letting her go home was the right thing. <BR> <BR> Her doctor actually said he'd agree with me getting guardianship, so I could have MADE her stay in the nursing home, but she's completely with it mentally, and I don't think she would ever forgive me if it came to that. <BR> ... Thu, 26 Jul 2012 09:06:54 EST Message Removed Message Removed Sun, 22 Jul 2012 22:08:56 EST Hey y'all I'm Aster, and I'm caregiver to my 'rents. Both are mid 60s with severe health problems. <BR> Dad had heart failure 3 years ago, which caused a massive stroke (along the lines of making him a 200lb 5 yr old most days, unable to speak properly, doesn't understand much of what you tell him) then had his right leg and left foot amputated within a year after that. <BR> Mom has had diabetes most of my life, as well as fibromyalgia. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's this year, and they are pretty... Sat, 21 Jul 2012 14:41:33 EST Hi! I'm new to Spark, and new here. I've got two sons, and 18 year old who's heading off to college next month, and a 13 year old that will be an 8th grader. My youngest son has JRA, and we are getting ready to start Orencia for him, which is pretty intensive. My husband hurt his back last fall, and has only been able to work sporadically since then, and my mother has had several strokes in the last few weeks, and is currently in rehab (and hating it, and trying to guilt trip me into coming to li... Wed, 18 Jul 2012 08:25:03 EST any advice with hospice? Dad took a turn for the worse on Sunday... in fact they had me get all the family together right away and we thought it would be Sunday night. Didn't happen... they didn't realize how strong my Dad is! <BR> <BR> Tuesday we brought him home with hospice. It's so hard. After the scare on Sunday, Monday & Tuesday he was fairly lucid and recognizing everyone coming to visit and actually was drinking fluids and he also made the decision he would rather come home with hospice than a nursing hom... Fri, 13 Jul 2012 00:23:14 EST Starting the Caregiving Journey Have you noticed that mom/dad is more forgetful? Do things they've always taken care of seem to be needing attention? Is the always sparkling kitchen getting a mite messy? Is the person who used to cook fresh, nutritious food now getting by on twinkies? Have there been more fender benders with the car? Are they getting more housebound due to illness/mobility/forgetfulness? Are the dust bunnies multiplying? <BR> <BR> Yes, people can change their priorities. We all do. But when you see... Tue, 10 Apr 2012 18:46:07 EST Newbie Hi, <BR> I am Catherine, a 52 year old empty nester. My mom turns 85 next week. She still lives in her own place but she is beginning to lose her short term memory. Only time will tell what will happen next. Tue, 10 Apr 2012 07:46:30 EST Communication and Conflict One question...and I need all the help I can get. <BR> <BR> How do you get your loved one (my Mother, in my case) to communicate with you BEFORE it turns into conflict? She will tell others what she likes, dislikes, needs, does not need, happy or sad, etc. <BR> <BR> Any suggestions? I'm at my wit's end because it always ends in conflict when I get her to actually tell me how she feels, what she needs, what she wants, etc. <BR> <BR> Whew, sometimes I feel so helpless and disgusted. <BR> ... Sun, 29 Jan 2012 23:26:14 EST Dealking with Dad My father is extremly angry with me for switiching home health aides. Long story on why they were changed but the hospital, social worker, nurses and my brother all felt it shoudl be done. <BR> My father blames me for everything. <BR> Accuses me of doing this so I can put him in a nursing home when its to try and keep him at home longer. I don't know how much more of this I can deal with. My brother lives in another state and uses every excuse in the book for not helping. Now its his bloo... Sun, 15 Jan 2012 18:48:33 EST What is Your Biggest Need as a Caregiver? Caregiving is rewarding, and yet sometimes difficult as well. What is your biggest need as a caregiver? If you could have one wish (sorry, having your parents young and well again isn't an option!), what would you wish for? Fri, 13 Jan 2012 22:09:55 EST A Caregiving Miracle We want to make this new lifestyle fun. I read a short story about a woman that was old, worn out, used up, lived a tough life on the streets. She was in a hospital, with heart troubles, regretting her choices in life. Her husband was dead, children estranged, no one in her life. Her room mate in the hospital asked her if she'd like to go back. . .and suddenly the years melted away, and she was once again in her old home, the children fussing, the ugly furniture she hated surrounding her,... Fri, 6 Jan 2012 00:26:49 EST How do you know when it's time? I haven't posted here in a while, so I hope you will forgive my presumption. Like you, I am a caregiver. I take care of my Mom in my home and have for the past 6 years since she had her stroke. My support system is practically non-existant now, and I am very very tired. <BR> <BR> How do you know when it is time to place your loved one in a skilled nursing facility? I keep going back and forth on this because I feel like I will be letting Mom down if I "put her away". But I really don't know ... Tue, 27 Dec 2011 10:55:41 EST Hospice This is a very hard thing to post. We were told we need to have hospice come in the look over my 92 year old MIL. My husband is upset, not about hospice, but because no one will or can tell him how long she has to live. They tell him it could be weeks, months or even a year, but he doesn't like that answer. I googled hospice and it stated that it is usually when a person has less than 6 months to live. We have been told she has Congestive heart failure and is filling up with fluid. I al... Sat, 22 Oct 2011 21:35:05 EST I am New to this Team I am so glad that I found this team. While my parents are still pretty mobile and can take care of themselves. There are some things they can't do. And that is where I come in. <BR> <BR> Thankfully my siblings understand all that I do. It is just the people who don't know my day to day life. I recently met a guy and when he found out I didn't have an outside job, I could just feel the judgement pouring out over the phone. I think I am beginning to understand how a Stay at Home Mother f... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 20:14:43 EST Caring for Mom I am taking care of my 88 year old mother who has a rare neurological disease and is now confined to bed. She cannot speak any more but understands what is being said to her. Mom's health has declined very rapidly. Several doctors told me that she is dying and one of them had the nerve to tell me that Mom's life expectancy is "a few months". I am one of six children and have complete responsibility for everything related to Mom now and will continue to do so after she passes too. I moved i... Sun, 9 Oct 2011 14:02:26 EST Thank You I just wanted to thank all of you for you prayers, your kindess and your caring. It was wonderful and helped me though a very tough time. It is still hard, I miss my mom a lot. She was very special. I cry when I think of her, but I also know she is at peace and watching over us. My sister was back in the hospital this week because of her drinking. I told her I can't do this any more and she needs to decide whether it is drinking or her family. I have not heard from her since and I do f... Fri, 23 Sep 2011 18:59:12 EST Caregiver community website? Is there a website or more for caregivers with a forum? I've tried google, but I haven't be satisfied with the results. I'm especially looking for something aimed at caregivers in their 20s. If anyone knows of anything, please let me know! Thu, 15 Sep 2011 11:04:41 EST My Mom Passed Away Today I wanted to let you all know that this morning my mom passed away. She is now at peace. I won't be posting for awhile, but I thank all of you for your kindness. Wed, 7 Sep 2011 16:53:04 EST Not really a caregiver Hello, I'm new here. I'm not really a caregiver but I can't find any support groups for my particular situation. I live with my 88 year old mother. She doesn't suffer Alzheimers and she can still get around very well. She's good at balancing her checkbook, she still pays her bills and the house is still clean as well as her personal hygeine. The only thing she can't do is yard work or making a lot of trips up and down the stairs. So I do that for her. Well she is getting more unreasona... Sun, 28 Aug 2011 10:53:09 EST MOM I wanted to let you all know that my mom is really not doing well. She is now on Hospic. Last week they took x-rays of her chest and found her heart is enlarged. This week they took x-rays and it is worse and she has fluid on the lungs. So we decided to start hospic now so that she is comfortable. She sleeps most of the time and is hardly eating. It is just a matter of time and of course there is no timeframe. They have taken away some of her medcine that she does not need. It is very ... Thu, 11 Aug 2011 18:49:33 EST Wednesday Challenge Today is FlyLady's anti-procrastination day. Today's challenge: pick one thing that you've been putting off, and do it. No, not a big project, just one thing. Make a phone call to a friend, put that letter in the mail (mine has been waiting for a week now, needs weighed for the stamp/s), read a chapter of a book, stitch a few more stitches on that project that's been sitting in the bag by your chair forever. . .give 5 minutes to something left undone today, and tell us what you did. Wed, 27 Jul 2011 09:37:39 EST Dealing with Family I am the caregiver for my 84 year old mother who has Parkinson's and showing signs of dementia. I have one sister, but she really isn't in the picture when it comes to taking care of mom. (She lives 40 minutes away and doesn't work.) I stay with my mom at night and am trying to balance caring for my family, my mom, and working full-time. <BR> <BR> Yesterday I took my mom to my sister's grandson's 1st birthday party. This was the only time my mom has seen him since I took her to see him ... Mon, 13 Jun 2011 20:55:57 EST Have you read...?? Wondering if any of you have read The Spark Book. Did you find it helpful?? Trying to get feedback before I invest in it. Thanks Sun, 5 Jun 2011 16:30:20 EST Holiday weekend Managed to enjoy the weekend and eat healthy. Not easy when both Dad and my husband like to indulge! So far the transition back to Dad,s house has been smooth. It is very apparent that he needs someone living with him. He does well but gets confused often and needs to be reminded to take his meds. My husband is a saint....helped him plant his tomatoes and took us food shopping. Worried about how this is going to affect our marriage. Will need to spend time alone but am not sure how to plan. H... Tue, 31 May 2011 07:17:47 EST Update on Mom Well, mom is getting worse. Today they called me and told me they were taking blood and she moved her hand and the girl pulled the needle out and she has a terrible black and blue mark all over her hand and it is bleeding. They have put ice on it and have it wrapped. Now she can use neither hand. Also, she is in a lot of pain. It is very sad, and I'm very tired. I spent more time with her today because I know she wants me there. So I will be there. I cry alot when I leave because I k... Fri, 27 May 2011 18:15:47 EST Chante Frank: Who Am I? I am 23 years of age. I have have joined SparkPeople in hopes of losing the extra weight I have gained and learning to keep it off. I want a new healthy living so that I can be a role model to my family, who are also unhealthy in many ways. As a family we suffer from high blood pressure, asthma, overweight, bad eating habits and laziness. However, I feel that if one person takes the initiative, everyone else will get in the game. I am excited for the outcome. Can't wait to meet my goals!!! Fri, 27 May 2011 15:20:06 EST hello to all doing fine and have moved into a smaller placr that i can call mind and not feel that it is some elses home. looking for a job that i feel comfortable in doing.meeting the neighbors <BR> getting to know them as well.lost channy in December got another in April shth tzu named <BR> momo as a nick name. Thu, 26 May 2011 23:09:37 EST Hi I have been doing Biggest loser at work and I am in first place with only 2 more wiegh ins left. I feel like the 15 pounds i lost might come back once its over and there is no money to keep me on track. Hopefully this site will be useful for me. Mon, 23 May 2011 12:00:11 EST Trying To Re-Start My Fitness Well this is my new beginning. I am getting used to watching really what I am eating or not eating. And it has been very surprising. I am so glad that I found this website. It has made me really look at what I am eating and how often I was eating. I have been trying to diet without any real guidelines and nothing was happening. Doing exercises was not really the problem, I was not doing enough of the right type of exercises. Now I learn that I was not eating enough to accomodate my exercising... Fri, 20 May 2011 20:49:57 EST New Member My husband and I are moving in with my 82 years old father this week. It has been a really difficult 4 months since my mother died. Looking forward to spending time with my Dad but am also apprehensive about the adjustments. Decided I needed to take care of myself too and lose the 25 lbs. I have been ignoring and start exercising again. Also learning to deal with the stress of siblings who are not very helpful in all of this! Tue, 17 May 2011 21:10:23 EST My mother is no longer with me... I was my mother's primary caregiver (she lived with me) until she died several months ago at age 90. I miss her terribly but am glad she's no longer suffering. I am a nurse and am grateful that I was able to care for her, though it became rather taxing over her last year. I honestly did not realize how stressful it had become until after she died. I have very loving and supportive sibs who all live out of state, but they all did all they could do to help me. I have no regrets. She had l... Mon, 16 May 2011 23:47:41 EST In a new life stage...Mom & Dad moved in Hello to all. <BR> <BR> So glad to see this team. Both Mom & Dad moved in 8 weeks ago and the transition has been a's been a living nightmare! Figured some folks here might have ideas to share that may help. <BR> <BR> Thu, 28 Apr 2011 02:40:59 EST Time To Leave, But Can't I haven't been consistant on Sparkpeople since my mom past in Feb. this year, but I have been continuing with my weight loss. I joined the Caregiver Children team for help with my mom. Even though she's past I can leave the team right now. Sat, 23 Apr 2011 17:55:43 EST Pray for my Mom Yesterday when I went to see mom they told me that she is swelling up with water. Either her kidneys are failing or her conjestive heart failure has gotten worse. The doctor ordered some tests and I'll know more today. They also told me she is having trobule swolling. So we are now going to a soft diet to see what happens. I've noticed this week she was declining more and more. I'm not sure how long we will have her. Today when I go I'll know more. Please keep her in your prayers. Fri, 22 Apr 2011 13:41:19 EST hi my my name is amber how is everyone? <BR> well im new to this sparkspeople..but i hope it helps me get my baby fat off Tue, 19 Apr 2011 21:39:25 EST New Here Thought I'd throw a quick introduction out to the team. I'm twenty one years old and currently going to school to enter the medical profession. In my spare time I like to spend time with my family and friends. I enjoy reading and writing, movies and music, and have a great appreciation for all of the fine arts. I am trying to lose weight both for a vacation I am taking in August and, more importantly, because I feel as a professional in the medical field I need to be an example of healthy liv... Tue, 5 Apr 2011 12:48:34 EST Hi From Janel Hi, my name is Janel and I am new to this support team, but, not Spark. Spark has taught me one can never have enough support!! <BR> <BR> I have been under a lot of stress lately with issues going on in my family and found this team on another Sparkie's came over for advice and support. I started writing all of the issues and found that it turned out to be long enough for a blog, so if you check out my blog you will have all of the details. <BR> <BR> I'm looking forward to getti... Thu, 31 Mar 2011 18:09:04 EST God gave us a miracle!!!!! Thank all of you for your prayers! They worked and God gave us our miracle! Please read my blog. I've explained everything on it, and again, Thank you, SparkFriends!! Wed, 30 Mar 2011 20:37:48 EST i want my life back! In Jan of 2009 I had been in the east coast for a few months and couldn't have found a better time and place to start shedding some pounds. I had just left a college town where 90% of my time was spent drinking and eat crap food I was unhappy, depressed, and ashamed of how I looked. I always wore a smile but there was so much darkness behind it. I worked for a woman who was once heavy herself and she went from 200+ lbs to being a competitive triathlete. She motivated me to start walking/runni... Mon, 28 Mar 2011 16:51:21 EST Update #2 on Laura.... First of all, thank each and every one of you for your prayers and support. We could not have made it without them! <BR> <BR> Laura was in surgery for 9 and 1/2 hours and is in recovery now. She is in stable condition with a breathing tube and her vitals look "pretty good". The cancer was everywhere, but her doctor feels that he removed approximately 98% of it. The 2%, with this type of cancer, is still a big concern, but God can handle lots more that 2%!! Her lower colon was removed an... Tue, 22 Mar 2011 23:15:54 EST Update on Laura.... First of all, thank you Team for your prayers, your precious comments, and your support. You will never know how much they have meant to me. Each time I read one of your posts, it encourages me so much. Now to the update. <BR> <BR> Laura's surgery was canceled due to deep vein thrombosis, a blood clot in her leg. Literally, she was on her way into the OR when her vitals went crazy. The doctor is going to insert an Inferior Vena Cava filter tonight and will do the surgery either tomorrow or W... Mon, 21 Mar 2011 15:14:34 EST We are asking for a miracle.... As many of you know, my DIL, Laura, has stage 4 cancer and goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. It is a high-risk operation and the doctors have been honest with her that it is extremely dangerous. <BR> <BR> Please join us in Florida at 7am EST praying and claiming God's miracles for our Laura. We will not stop until we hear that God used her doctors to perform the miracle she has asked for!! Yes, we are asking for miracle, and WE BELIEVE. <BR> <BR> Also pray for my son and their dau... Sun, 20 Mar 2011 21:53:51 EST Interesting story about caregivers Hi! I wanted to share this blog post with the team: <link><BR>_caregivers_survival_guide </link> <BR> Woman's Day's current issue is all about caregiving. It has some great resources. Interested to hear your feedback. <BR> Have a great day! <BR> Stepfanie <BR> editor, Tue, 22 Feb 2011 13:08:02 EST Beyond Caregiving--the next step of the journey Okay former caregivers, here's our own thread. Here's a place where we can discuss the issues that come up once the loved one we have been taking care of has passed on. <BR> <BR> I've got an issue that came up today that some of you may be familiar with. My MIL has Alzheimer's, and has recently moved in with her daughter. I got a call today that they are going to need me to come and babysit her for a week or so. <BR> <BR> How do you handle going back into the caregiving role when you're ... Mon, 21 Feb 2011 23:21:45 EST Billy Graham Interview <link><BR>nuaryweb-only/qabillygraham.html </link> <BR> <BR> Thought I'd post this here. I read it just before traveling to Florida to see my Dad. I just got back and am remembering now how timely it was to have read it when I did, especially his answer to the question "What would you say to children who have aging parents?" <BR> <BR> Hugs to all... <BR> <BR> Sun, 20 Feb 2011 14:38:24 EST Former caregivers thread? We've had a suggestion for a thread just for those of us who have passed on to the other side of caregiving, and are dealing with the issues that come up after the death of the loved one we have cared for. This is a very important part of the caregiving cycle, but with very different issues than those who are currently caring for a loved one. <BR> <BR> Tell me what you think? If you are interested, what should we call the thread? We can make it a 'sticky' topic, so it's easy to find. Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:16:57 EST Just saying Hi I knew there would be Spark Team for people like us. My father died last year at age 89. My mother is 86 and has some of her faculties, enough to live alone and drive, not enough to pay bills and do any new activity. My biggest frustration with her is how mean she gets if she doesn't get her way. I work full time and can only see her on the weekends. Nothing I do seems to be right though she could not survive in her house without me making sure the bills get paid. She is very hard to c... Mon, 31 Jan 2011 12:20:29 EST Anticipation Here is an article I found on the subject of anticipatory grief. Long before my mother died, I found myself wondering about the feelings I was dealing with as she aged. This has helped me understand some of those feelings, even now that she has been gone for some 8 months now. <BR> <BR> Wanted to share with those on the team here, although I'm seldom here to post. I do lurk some and keep you in my prayers! <BR> <BR> <link><BR>groad.pdf </link> Sun, 23 Jan 2011 10:05:48 EST Hanging In Well mom has not been good this week. She is very tired and just looks pale. She coughed the other day when she was drinking, so one of the pool nurses called me and told me she needs to see a speech therapist. We went though this a few months ago, and they said nothing was wrong. So I talked with one of them, and they said your mom is fine. Mom has the habit of holding fluid in her mouth, until she realizes she has it there and then tries to talk. So here I go again for round two with t... Fri, 21 Jan 2011 18:02:19 EST Mid month challenge This challenge is for each of us to find at least one thing to be thankful for, and post it on our 'Finding Blessings Hidden in the Mire' thread at <link><BR>sageboard_thread.asp?board=0x10900x147<BR>53933&src=email </link> <BR> <BR> It's so easy to look around us and see so many problems lurking. Difficulties dealing with our caregiving chores, difficulties getting out and doing things, financial problems, sleep deprivation, frustration, family issue... Sun, 16 Jan 2011 20:39:22 EST Hi, new to this group Good morning, <BR> I was excited to see that there was topic for caregivers of aging parents here. I moved to TX two years ago to take care of my mother. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer five years ago. She was able to take care of herself for 2.5 years, but then it got to be too much for her. <BR> <BR> The last year has been very hard on her and on me. Her health has deteriorated a lot. I have been unable to make my own life or friends since I moved here. Everytime that ... Fri, 14 Jan 2011 11:55:03 EST New Challenge Forum It's the first day of a new year, and it's time for some new challenges to boost us on our way. This forum is where you'll find daily/weekly/monthly challenges. You are welcome to make suggestions here for future challenges as well. Don't forget to report in when you've completed your challenge, it will help encourage others, and that's a big part of our purpose here--support and encouragement as well as progress. <BR> <BR> So, here's your first challenge of the new year: <BR> DECIDE ON A... Sat, 1 Jan 2011 16:27:49 EST Resources for caregivers of Alzheimer' s/dementia I was amazed how many websites came up when I did an internet search for 'Entertaining Alzheimer's patients". Totally amazing. <BR> <BR> I found one site that has links to many other sites, with interesting, helpful, and very detailed information. The main page I started from is at <link><BR>isease_dementias_caring_caregivers.htm </link> <BR> <BR> From there, click on the "Alzheimer's Care: Managing Problem Behaviors" link in the middle of the arti... Thu, 2 Dec 2010 12:24:31 EST How Do We Know When it is Time for a Change? WHAT CLUES ARE THERE THAT IT'S TIME TO THINK ABOUT SWITCHING FROM CARING FOR OUR LOVED ONE AT HOME--TO PROFESSIONAL CARE? <BR> <BR> How do I know when it might be time for a change? I'd love to hear from those silent watchers here that are doing major care for their parents. Those that are hooked up to tubes and machines and must be monitored; those that must nap beside their loved one, always alert; those that are doing the kind of care that requires constant vigil. How do you cope? Wha... Sat, 4 Sep 2010 14:58:50 EST Very Tired but keeping going I'm very tired this week, but I have to keep going. It has been a long hard week at work. We are very busy and it is not going to let up. Mom is about the same, but I took her out again for a walk. My sister is the same - nothing new. The bright spot is I went to see my great nephew and his mom this afternoon and that was so wonderful. I'm going to do what I want this week-end and relax. Shopping at the market and grocery store. My vaccum cleaner died tonight so I need to get a new one t... Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:20:49 EST Baby Boomer Caregivers . Tue, 10 Aug 2010 09:52:38 EST MIL HOME, NOW WHAT? My MIL came home from the hospital last night. She seemed tired, but ok. Today she came downstairs as usual and was sleeping in her wheelchair. I told her to go upstairs. She made it almost all the way up the stairs and then couldn't make it anymore. I had to call 911 and get the paramedics to come and lift her into her bed. My sons tried, but couldn't lift her. She is now upstairs where she will stay until the physical therapist comes and helps her get her strength back. She was also in a... Wed, 4 Aug 2010 21:35:22 EST A Funny but Overwhelming Day Last Thursday I had to do the prep for my colonoscopy on Friday. The very same day, my MIL stated she was "blocked" and couldn't go. I called the dr.'s office, but was put on hold. If anyone has done the prep for the colonoscopy, you know you cannot "hold", so I had to give her the phone. It was just sort of funny that I couldn't stop going and she couldn't start. LOL The dr. advised me to get her Miralax and it worked miracles. Right after drinking it, she went all over the upstairs. ... Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:36:38 EST . . Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:46:04 EST Hi, ! I'm new here too! I think this is the right group for me. The support <BR> and experience from others will help me gain the <BR> confidence I need to continue on this journey. We <BR> (my husband and I) care for my mother who has short <BR> term memory loss and poor hearing. She lives with us. <BR> We also care for our 3 year old grandson and 8 week <BR> old granddaughter 9 hrs a day. Although it is very <BR> difficult, we consider it a great privilege as we <BR> watch the young grow old and the old grow young... Fri, 16 Jul 2010 12:58:00 EST Hi, new here :) Hi, I'm new here. I take care of my mom, step dad and husband. My mom has a long laundry list of problems, and hubby has feet, ankle and arthritis problems. <BR> <BR> I'm 31, overweight and trying to loose. I look forward to getting to know everyone and everyone getting to know me. :) Mon, 21 Jun 2010 16:54:34 EST Rough Times As you know we all have rough times. I've had some this week. Mom has not been well and sleeping a lot when I get there. I'm hoping things are better, but I remember what she has told me "You never have more problems then you can handle." Trust God, believe in yourself and it will be fine. True words - this week I really felt that. Last night I had a melt down and called a friend to tell her I couldn't take any more. I've had a cold and could not shake it, I was tired and just felt alo... Sat, 15 May 2010 14:02:44 EST Sharing a link Here's a link to a blog on that one of their editors has been writing. She tells her story well. Today's was a very moving post; you can click back to read about her journey with her father over the past few months, too: <BR> <BR> <link><BR>a/week-15-big-girls-do-cry </link> <BR> <BR> I'm sure many of you could tell the same story. Blessings on you! <BR> <em>247</em> Tue, 27 Apr 2010 11:01:38 EST need help My dad went into the hospital again on Thursday for Bronchitis. He is suppose to come home tomorrow. The question that my husband and I are thinking about is -Is it time to move him into our house. We have been thinking of the positives and negs. We have 2 high school boys at home and a college student that lives with my dad so he would have someone in the house. If we did this we would have to put in a stair chair and have a contractor add heat and other things to make it a bedroom. The ne... Sun, 28 Mar 2010 17:31:55 EST New to This Team I'm new to the team. I took care of my mother for years until she fell and broke her hip. They decided to only put pins in and during her recovery she had a stroke and can not walk anymore. I had to make the decision to keep her in a nursing home, which was the hardest decision I made. I go and visit her every day she has now been there for 2 years and she is 92. She is not doing well and every day there is a new problem. I have a wonderful nephew and his wife and baby come every Sunda... Sat, 27 Feb 2010 13:36:02 EST Hi Everyone Hi, I'm new to Sparkpeople. I was checking out the lists of Teams and ran across this one. It looks like the right place for me right now. <BR> My dad, who is 84, is in early stages of dementia. I learned this from his doctor back in March of '09, when he was discharged from the hospital after a bad fall that resulted in a fractured right shoulder. He stayed with us for 7 months while his shoulder healed, and then he wanted to go back home to stay. He lives 4 hrs away from us, and needless to... Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:52:03 EST rough patch I have had a rough few days. This is hard not pigging out - the emotional eater in me. I over did the eating yesterday. I had to leave work 1st thing in the morning yesterday. My dad was dizzy. The hospital determined it is a prob. with his pacemaker. We finally had things set up in his home with nurses and extra help, now this. My father in-law had a fire in the bedroom walls the same night. Too much at one time. He is at our house for now, insurance will be paying for a hotel room ... Sat, 6 Feb 2010 09:09:28 EST Not sure if I have done the right thing Last week I started getting phone call from my mom cussing me and my husband out for various things and threatening to call the police. <BR> -She accused me of stealing her underwear, because I took her laundry home and did not return with it immediately. <BR> -Then she accused us of breaking and entering her home. I have had keys to her house for years and she is not even living there now. <BR> -She accused my husband of leaving her at the assisted living facility to die of starvation. She g... Wed, 27 Jan 2010 23:26:43 EST Tinnitus I have had tinnitus for about a year now. Along with hearing loss. The dr's find on reason for it.Just wondering if anyone has any info. or suggestions about it. It's hard to hear what my dad is saying sometimes... his voice is getting softer and it's frustrating for both of us.This constant noise makes me feel like I'm going crazy sometimes! Mon, 25 Jan 2010 11:22:20 EST What should I do... about my dad. He's been using a cane for many years. I've been asking him to use a walker, which he refused. 3 weeks ago, his knee "gave out" and he started using a walker!!! Dr. recommends he stays on his walker always. Now he feels better, he's using his cane again!!! Scares me to watch him!! Any suggestions??? <em>198</em> Sun, 17 Jan 2010 18:56:04 EST I'm New Here Hi Everyone! <BR> <BR> I'm Lisa, I live in Santa Barbara, CA. My mom has Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home. I try to go daily to see her. My dad lives with me. He has congestive heart failure and has recently stopped driving. I've decided that this year I need to take better care of me, so that I can be able to take care of them. I'm very excited about being part of this group. Sat, 9 Jan 2010 22:58:14 EST Needing help coping with sick father. My dad is only 60 and has been battleing dementia for about 10 years now. It just breaks my heart. People tell me I make a very nice life for him and my husband says there is a special place in heaven for me. I get very sad about his progression. We are going to see a neuroligest next week, has anyone heard about medicine avialble? My dad is really sencitive to meds. Thank you all so much! Thu, 7 Jan 2010 10:36:36 EST Would like to run away from home Hello Everyone! <BR> The past two days have been rough with MIL. She has been a bit cranky. She is being very critical of the kids. I am not saying she is not right or not right, it's just I don't like the way she talks to them. I just bite my tongue and complain to my husband who tells me that it will all go away as soon as they go back to school. I cannot make her understand that we are doing the best we can with 3 adopted children who all have their little quirks. I knew it would be hard t... Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:35:40 EST Channeling program Hi everyone - its been a while since I've posted which means things have been quiet at home - Thank the Good Lord. Mom just celebrated her 90th birthday and though still strong and alert, she's getting more and more shaky and now needs some help with grooming etc while I'm at work. She was evaluated and is being referred to the channeling program but the wait in Florida is around 3 months. I was wondering if anyone in the forum is familiar with program and what it entails. Thanks. Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:40:52 EST Has anyone started thinking about 2010??? I had a thought as I was strolling through this site. Here's my goal:... <BR> I want to go form <em>15</em> TO... <em>248</em> Mon, 23 Nov 2009 17:11:18 EST Re-active, But Not Re-active Hi everybody, do anyone remember this posting I did back in April of this year: <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> Hi my fellow spark members. I finally added some team members to my friends section. I have been a member of spark people since Nov. 2007. I spoke of my story before of stuggling to lose weight and having a reality check of setting my goals low then build them up. Well, I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with my 2nd and last child. My weight struggle began with the pregnancy of my 1st... Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:13:25 EST Calories.. .....Calor ies......Calories!!! . Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:35:27 EST Bedsores? I searched the group for bedsores and bed sores and got zero results, but I apologize if this subject has been covered already (and would love a link, if so) <BR> <BR> My FIL has a bedsore. <BR> He is diabetic so slow to heal, and well into dementia so suggesting he roll over and sleep on his other side pretty much falls on fallow ground. <BR> <BR> He has an excellent bed, and sleeps in shorts and soft flannel PJ bottoms. <BR> <BR> I've been putting a triple antibiotic salve on it and w... Wed, 30 Sep 2009 12:33:05 EST . . Tue, 29 Sep 2009 09:19:08 EST I'm curious how you spend your 'free' time I'm thinking I'm going to look back on this time and wondering where my brain was, to waste so much of it. <BR> <BR> I've worked for others or had my own business all my teen and adult life so am used to a lot of structure in my day and getting a ton of stuff done. <BR> <BR> Now I'm 24/7 caregiver for my in-laws and their working farm seems like I should be making a million quilts, or writing a book, or learning chinese... but my mind has turned to sludge. There are a lot of times in the d... Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:05:23 EST Only Child + Aging Parents = STRESS Hello Everyone, <BR> <BR> So glad I found this team! I'm hoping someone can give some much needed advice. <BR> <BR> About 2 months ago we put Dad (92) in a nursing home. Mom (87)was the full time caregiver, even tho' she is legally blind and cannot drive - he has dementia and can no longer walk. I live 1.5 hrs away so I cannot be there everytime there is a crisis (and yes, I feel guilty but I can't lose my job and still have two kids at home who need me). Mom has to self-pay for the nursi... Wed, 16 Sep 2009 05:58:01 EST Hello... Hi everyone. I so glad to have found this group :) <BR> <BR> While nothing is certain, I may be going home (the New England area - from New Mexico) to help take care of my mom. <BR> <BR> She was diagnosed with breast cancer last August. She did chemo - came through it fantastically and the cells were dormant. She was taking a daily medication and that was that. This month we found out that it's come back. The best thing to do - from the point of view of the Oncologist - is a mastectomy. Rig... Sat, 29 Aug 2009 17:05:20 EST Message Removed Message Removed Fri, 28 Aug 2009 23:16:21 EST What is that This was sent to me from a friend and every time I watch it I am in tears. <BR> <BR> My dad is 85, and altho mentally alert, had a stroke that left his limbs fine, but affected his vision and balance. He went into a clinical depression and for weeks I thought we were going to lose him. <BR> <BR> <BR> When I visit, it is a struggle sometimes, because he gets so frustrated with the limitations this last stroke left with what he used to enjoy. <BR> <BR> He forgets, and gets angry with himse... Sun, 9 Aug 2009 20:34:52 EST Update from a "long-distance" caregiver... Mom fell two weeks ago and broke her hip. She had surgery right away and was doing well for a couple of days, but then developed post-operative delirium. Yesterday she was released to rehab although the episodes of delirium are still going on. <BR> <BR> I was surprised that they transferred her already. Being in Germany, I have very little information except what my dad passes on, what my cousin reports from her visits, and what information I can glean from the nurses when I call the hospit... Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:28:15 EST Life After Caregiving Yesterday would have been my mother’s 87th birthday. It marked the second month since her passing. I thought I’m mention that here because I shared with you more of what my mother’s last year of life was like for both of us than I shared with anyone else, including my siblings. <BR> <BR> Judy mentioned that you might be interested in hearing what to expect of life after caregiving, what surprised me the most, etc. so I thought I’d say a couple of things. <BR> <BR> I was incredibly fortuna... Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:30:11 EST Stressbusters! Okay, stress is a major issue. Following is a list of some of the things that have helped turn caregiving into a much less stressful job (I was a basket case when I first started this job, as I hadn't learned any coping skills yet!) <BR> <BR> 1. Huge amounts of prayer! <BR> 2. Walk out of the room and take a short walk, trying to see how many interesting things you can spot (you need something to fill your mind and distract you. Since I walk in the city, I look for interesting things, a ... Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:45:17 EST hello everyone and to the new ones that have join Hello; <em>235</em> <BR> It seems that I am every where, we have an RN coming to help out with advice,giving info on the different ways of doing medicine, watching for swelling in the legs to putting grab bars in the bath room. She is still getting around enough without help, the RN's <BR> are saying that it will come soon enough.(mom) <BR> getting the paper work for the hospital is something <BR> the POSTL, an HEALTH CARE DECISIONS those can be helpful or discouraging in filling them out. t... Wed, 8 Jul 2009 23:36:40 EST Checklists for Caregivers I looked up some checklists on things to do in preparation for caregiving. Here they are: <BR> <BR> Things to ask when talking to your parents: <link><BR>ing-care-of-aging-parents-as-a-family.<BR>html </link> <BR> <BR> Good overall list: <link><BR>eToolboxTips.asp?tipsheet=92 </link> <BR> <BR> List from someone who has done this: <link><BR>arents&id=2342958 </link> <BR> ... Fri, 3 Jul 2009 18:57:28 EST How do you????.... How do you keep yourself from loosing patience during caregiving? I find myself more and more frustrated, anxcious,and short tempered. If my mom askes me to take her someplace and I am not able to do it that day, I feel TOTALLY GUILTY. Today I have felt ALL of these above feelings. Please offer some suggestions. Thanks, <em>24</em> <em>198</em> Tue, 30 Jun 2009 19:29:05 EST This is so hard! Sorry this is going to be long. <BR> <BR> This has been the hardest week ever. My uncle attempted to run away again this week. We caught him before he took off (thankfully). He insisted on going to the doctor multiple times - each time demanding they do surgery on his heart immediately. He does have blockages and the doctors wanted to operate in January but he refused. Now he wants it done TODAY! He told his son to find him an apartment near the casino. His son has seen him twice sinc... Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:32:57 EST Meals on Wheels I had some good news yesterday, apart from the fact that Mom is healing up well after her surgery last week (she had blockage removed and stents put in her carotid arteries). They have finally agreed to try Meals on Wheels, at the suggestion of the social worker that came to transition her back to her home environment. (I've been suggesting it for months but they didn't want to take "charity", etc.) <BR> <BR> I've mentioned in other posts how independent and stubborn my parents are - so this... Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:12:45 EST finding time i want to know how you find time for little things like eating?i have diabetes,so i do need to eat once in a the time i get my mother in law taken care of,the work done,the yard and flower beds done,my aunt done,and my hubby taken care of,it is aunt doesn't live with me,but she needs me to run after her[more now that mil is ].anyways i have from 10-1 at night to do anything i then all i feel like doing is my sparks,a bath,and sugar has been around 45-75.way t... Mon, 8 Jun 2009 22:24:50 EST new challenge Well my oldest brother who lives in Oregon (we live on the east coast) is getting remarried. So my parents want to go to the wedding. I (silly me) assumed since my brother and his wife (who live 45 minutes away) would go with them or my sister would arrange to meet them in a hub and help them. OH NO. They all assume that I am going. It is too close to the beginning of my school year and I am not going. So mom and pop are going on their own. (last time this happened mom landed in the ho... Tue, 2 Jun 2009 06:28:33 EST Mom fired the cleaning lady... ..."inadvertently"! Dad had said that he didn't want Bev to do the dishes anymore because that was something he did. He felt her time could be better used doing other things. So Mom got on the phone and told Bev she didn't need to come anymore. *sigh* <BR> <BR> I'm a "long-distance caregiver" - my parents live in FL and I'm in Germany. So when I am in the US, I try to do what I can to make sure they're doing OK and getting the help they need. Getting them to hire Bev was a major victory abo... Sat, 30 May 2009 13:59:21 EST Introducing myself Hi, from beautiful Oregon. My name is Beverly and I have been taking care (24/7) of my dad for the last five years. I left my job and moved here to care for him, my mom passed away 10 years ago, with the same COPD. Giving up the job wasn't to bad, but leaving my daughter and her family is very hard. <BR> I have been trying to lose the same 50 pounds for a long time. I am so happy that I came across SP. <BR> My dad is losing his memory now, and he can't get out of the house very often. <BR> ... Fri, 29 May 2009 13:38:43 EST Coconut Oil an aid to Alzheimer's treatment? I have been using non hydrogenated coconut oil as a supplement to treatment for hypothyroidism. The last time I bought virgin coconut oil at Walmart, it was in a jar of about 20 oz. for around $10 in the pharmacy vitamin section. To my surprise, the jars are now 12 oz for about $10. I went to the cooking section of the store and picked up LouAna non-hydrogenated coconut oil at $5.44 for a 32 oz. jar, and when I got home, I hit the computer to see if there was anything new on the coconut oil f... Mon, 25 May 2009 17:46:30 EST Cortisol and Stress Well, decided to see if there was anything we could do to undo the bad effects of stress on us caregivers. I was amazed what I learned! <BR> <BR> I knew that cortisol is the hormone that does the flight-or-fight response, in a stressful situation. I did not know much more though, read on! <BR> <BR> "Cortisol occurs naturally in the body, but it can also be manufactured. When cortisol is made artificially it is called hydrocortisone, which is used as an immune system suppressant." (No wond... Fri, 8 May 2009 11:22:30 EST I NEED SUPPORT NOW MORE THAN EVER Hello All: <BR> <BR> I just came on here to start again. I was active in the beginning and lost myself caring for my mother during her illness. I posted on my blog everything that has happened this month alone. If you have time check it out. Long story short though I do need support. On April 10, 2009 at 7:15 am my biggest supporter--My Mother passed away. It has been a major blow. I am 33 and my father died of the exact same thing when I was 20 13 years ago. I have had a hard time d... Sat, 25 Apr 2009 20:41:55 EST New and Stressed Hi Everyone, I am new to this team and wanted to introduce myself to everyone. My name is Laura. For the past 15 years I have been a caregiver to my mom who suffers from vascular dementia. Recently, she suffered a series of strokes and was diagnosed as having congestive heart failure. Her doctor felt she needed full time medical supervision so we placed her in a very good long term facility. She now has more bad days than good. Days like today, when she is crying one minute and lashing ... Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:58:58 EST Thanks... Thanks you all for the welcome, seems I joind youi just in calledd 911 for my mom yesterday. Has CHF and got fluid buildup from the hormone shes been on since her uterine cancer 6 months ago. Got cellulitis, and buildup wnet to her chest, plus her sodium level is wwwaaaay down from drinking toooo much water!!! Better today, so glad you are all here to support me. I really appreciate you all. Sat, 11 Apr 2009 13:32:41 EST Active, But Not Active Hi my fellow spark members. I finally added some team members to my friends section. I have been a member of spark people since Nov. 2007. I spoke of my story before of stuggling to lose weight and having a reality check of setting my goals low then build them up. Well, I found out 2 weeks ago that I'm pregnant with my 2nd and last child. My weight struggle began with the pregnancy of my 1st child. I wasn't gaining enough weight, I was pre-eclamptic, developed high blood pressure (heart disea... Mon, 6 Apr 2009 10:10:00 EST hi my name is Reasa hello everyone, <BR> I to have a parent living with me, my mother is going thou forgetting things, getting upset over little things. I have and appointment with a doctor that deals with demtzea next month and i will know for sure if it is that or something else like old age. i am 47 yrs old staying at home to be with her. not able to work outside the home, looking for something that i can do from home and to be able to get her to help me with it. Mon, 30 Mar 2009 11:04:29 EST Is it Dementia? I have been part of this team before but dropped out when my mother passed away in October. Now I am back with another concern about my father. Lately he has been forgetting things. Nothing major...yet. But I am concerned. He doesn't think there is anything to worry about. Two weeks ago he went to work and forgot to lock the door. (Not a problem now, he got laid off yesterday) LAst night he went to bed and left the lights on. With only my income to support us we need to conserve electricity. ... Wed, 25 Mar 2009 03:58:15 EST Hello from Podunk Idaho. When I moved to Idaho 26 years ago I was 20 years old and a size 12 at 5'8" In the small town we live in there is a town square.. literally you drive one way around the square to access all of the stores. Needless to say I remember saying to my sister.. look at how big all these girls butts are..they must have spud butts,,, Wow have those words come back to bite me in the spud! I am 46 years old and married to a wonderful man. I have been very fortunate in that way. 3 wonderful kids This year... Fri, 20 Feb 2009 20:40:47 EST Heart surgery - hubby Hi everyone! Thought I would just start a thread instead of email. I will be able to keep everyone informed and thank you all a little easier in here. <BR> <BR> My husband had an angiogram & we found out he had to have a triple byass Tuesday. We went to heart surgeon yesterday and came away with more waiting and more bad news. We are now at a possible quad bypass instead of triple. As my uncle said, a home run! <BR> <BR> Good news - he is only 5% of a negative outcome!!! <BR> <BR> T... Fri, 20 Feb 2009 12:34:41 EST Nelson Mandella Said Last semester... my mentor Alice Schenk (Also my health teacher) Shared this quote that changed my life......." Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so ... Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:09:26 EST Nelson Mandella Said Last semester... my mentor Alice Schenk (Also my health teacher) Shared this quote that changed my life......." Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so ... Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:03:32 EST Links to Caregiver Magazines and Other LInks Did an online search for information on caregiver magazines. This is what I found: <BR> <BR> Caregiver Magazine <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Today's Caregiver Magazine <link> </link> <BR> <BR> Links to online Caregiver sites are halfway down the page at <link><BR>ages/stageOne/section03 </link> <BR> <BR> Lots of other links are at <link><BR>ivers.htm </link> <BR> <BR... Wed, 11 Feb 2009 22:33:38 EST "'Tis Sure", a poem about contentment I found this poem on the back of another clipping, and thought it tied in well with what we were discussing about the difficulties and blessings of caregiving (on the Daily Check-In thread here, yesterday and today, Feb. 10/11, 2009) <BR> <BR> The post included a section about learning contentment as a caregiver. So when I found this poem about that very subject, I decided to include it here: <BR> <BR> 'TIS SURE <BR> by Garnett Ann Schultz <BR> from Ideals Magazine (no date on the clipping... Wed, 11 Feb 2009 14:34:31 EST A wonderful caregiver book I've got this book I'm reading called The Fearless Caregiver by Gary Barg and I totally recommend it. There is a wealth of information and it's something I think everyone of us can relate to. It's really worth picking up. <BR> <BR> Product Description <BR> While they are giving care, the nation's 25 million family caregivers rarely get a rest. Gone are the days when you could rely on others to do the work of caring for a loved one in your family. America's healthcare system throws many of t... Mon, 9 Feb 2009 19:49:07 EST Seniors require physical activity too..... The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the American College of Sports Medicine recommends at least 30 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity on most days of the week in order to maintain and improve optimal health. This recommendation is especially important for older Americans, who can be less likely to fulfill this requirement, yet are more at risk for chronic diseases associated with aging. <BR> <BR> Gardening is a very popular leisure activity for adults aged 65 or ... Sun, 8 Feb 2009 09:36:17 EST Hi everyone My name is Paula and I'm 49yrs old and I care for both of my parents, my mom with dementia and my dad with severe anemia. I'm also disabled myself and it can be quite a handful. My disability is more emotional PTSD than physical but I can tell with my weight it is affecting me that way also. I look forward to getting to know everyone and hope I can help put a smile on someone elses face. Tue, 3 Feb 2009 19:12:28 EST Hello from NY Hi there, my name is Mary Ann. I live in Rochester, NY and have 2 parents who are both 85. They celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary on the 8th (how blessed am I??!!) <BR> My Mother has had just about anything you can think of happen to her throughout the years and is a walking miracle. Heart attacks, 2-brain tumors, Guillian Barre Syndrome, Skin Cancer, Stroke, hip and knee replacement, etc, etc, etc. She is doing the best she can daily at this point. She gets around with a walker ... Tue, 27 Jan 2009 16:44:54 EST Alzehimers Link you might find useful..... <link>'s-d<BR>isease/alzheimer's-disease-treatment.a<BR>spx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthHealthyLiving<BR>_20090120 </link> <BR> <BR> Medications available and coping skills. Tue, 20 Jan 2009 07:55:16 EST How do you handle them when they are belligerent? Okay, I know some of you must be dealing with this. This is something that only occasionally crops up, but I can see that it is happening more often. <BR> <BR> What do you do when they are outright belligerent? When they absolutely refuse to do what is appropriate. And get fiesty when you try to assist them. <BR> <BR> Things like refusing to put clothes on, or deciding the kitchen chair is as good a toilet as any other, and leave me alone I'm busy! Refusing to go to bed or moving to a... Thu, 8 Jan 2009 13:13:04 EST More support links and medical cost assistance While looking for info on help with expensive medical bills, I found a variety of caregiving links you might find useful: <BR> <BR> has a clickable US map with links to caregiver assistance at <link><BR>index.htm </link> If you can't find any direct help there, perhaps the nearest caregiver support group to you will have more info. <BR> <BR> There are general caregiving tips and lots of useful links at <link> Sat, 3 Jan 2009 12:24:00 EST Words to Live By A fellow Sparker posted this. So many of these fit into our Spark life, and our caregiving life, that I thought I'd post them here. When things get tough, I can come back and review them again, to help me back on track. <BR> <BR> Tips for a Better Life in 2009 <BR> <BR> 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is <BR> the ultimate anti-depressant. <BR> <BR> 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. <BR> <BR> 3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night... Sat, 3 Jan 2009 09:50:11 EST Communicating Effectively - Alzheimers This isn't something I have any personal knowledge about but thought perhaps someone might find a tip to two to help them along the way. <BR> <BR> <link><BR>mmunicating-with-alzheimers.aspx?xid=n<BR>l_EverydayHealthHealthyLiving_20090102 </link> Fri, 2 Jan 2009 07:18:38 EST I am new and I need major Support!!!! Hello all, <BR> <BR> I am new on here and I hate to dump please forgive me but I need major support right now and need suggestions desperately. I am trying to run a company we started (my boyfriend and myself) about 5 years ago. We almost went under, he is now working 11 until 8 Monday thru Friday. We have a four year old child so when he gets home it is dinner read a book to our son and they both go to bed. i am left with the dishes and cleaning ect for the night. I really only get a l... Tue, 30 Dec 2008 03:23:51 EST Dealing with a loved ones increased depressed.... As we all know, being a caretaker is tough. Our charges are usually dealing with depression throughout the year but what do you do when it seems to be 10 fold over the holiday? <BR> <BR> I've having an aweful time with my mum this holiday. Any suggesstions? She's depressed all of her family is dying off (cousins, aunts, uncles, etc) in addition to my dad passing 6 years ago. <BR> <BR> Background info, she does not live with me yet, but her home is literally down the driveway and she's at m... Sun, 21 Dec 2008 07:03:08 EST Medication Warning about Flaxseed Many of us have been adding flaxseed to our diets to be healthier. However, I heard about a recent warning that diabetics should not use flaxseed. I checked it out, and sure enough, there is now a warning that: <BR> <BR> "Although studies report conflicting results, the omega-3 fatty acids in flaxseed and flaxseed oil may increase blood sugar, reducing the effects of diabetes treatments, including insulin and glucose-lowering medications taken by mouth." <BR> <BR> Since many of our paren... Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:40:11 EST Crowded Households Raise Womens Heart Attack Risk. If anyone is interested, here's a link to an interesting article regarding heart disease study of women living in multigenerational homes. <link><BR>ws/view.aspx?id=622197&xid=nl_Everyday<BR>HealthWomensHealth_20081214 </link> Sun, 14 Dec 2008 04:08:28 EST Reality Check... Hi Everybody, <BR> I had a major reality check that I already knew, but it just finally hit me in the head. I joined SP at the end of Nov in 2007. My weight goal was to be at 125 lbs by June 29, 2009 (my 30th birthday). It has been a long, hard, slow process just to even lose 1 pound, let alone 124 more lbs. So I decided to still set a challenging goal but smaller. So I changed my goal weight for right now to get to 200 lbs by June 29, 1979. I have a family history of heart disease (grandmot... Sun, 7 Dec 2008 13:57:20 EST When Should They Stop Driving? I mentioned this on the chat thread, then decided to put the info here, so it could be easily referenced when needed. <BR> <BR> I read an article that mentioned a AARP driving course for elderly drivers. While not availabe in every state, you can go to <link> </link> and follow the link to find a course in your area. <BR> <BR> The link I found most fascinating, was the list of questions to see if it might be time to stop driving, as well as a variety ... Sun, 23 Nov 2008 00:09:11 EST Are you a Mary or a Martha? I was thinking about the story in Luke 10 about two sisters, Mary and Martha. The story goes like this: <BR> <BR> " 38As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself... Thu, 13 Nov 2008 16:26:16 EST Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's Information I was fascinated with the info on the Mayo Clinic website located at <link><BR>-disease/DS00161/DSECTION=treatments%2<BR>Dand%2Ddrugs </link> From this, there are lots of other links. But this drug page caught my eye. Most of our parents are on a LOT of drugs. But we frequently don't know why, or how effective they are expected to be, or what the side effects can be. <BR> <BR> This page explained some of that. Some things I didn't know from this pag... Sat, 8 Nov 2008 13:40:06 EST Lewy Body Dementia I found that the Mayo Clinic has a section on Lewy Body dementia at <link><BR>dementia/DS00795/DSECTION=symptoms </link> with links from there to a lot of other pages. <BR> <BR> The treatment page was scary. Sorry, but this whole caregiver thing can be so difficult. So many things we become responsible for. The Mayo Clinic did give this warning about the antipsychotic drugs: <BR> <BR> "Antipsychotic medications. These medications may somewhat im... Sat, 8 Nov 2008 13:16:34 EST How strange to not belong here any more My beloved mother passed away on October 4th (here at home with me and our younger son) after a long battle with lung cancer. This team has helped me with this "season" of life and now I am moving on to the "slow cooker" phase. I want to leave you with a neat way of looking at caregiving that was sent to me in the thick of the caregiving challenges. It is from a Christian perspective so may not be helpful to those who don't think that way. THANK YOU for all the support you have leant to m... Tue, 21 Oct 2008 10:34:56 EST Making this work, positively! We had a great question in the "Daily Check-In" chat thread about staying positive when you're really frustrated. I thought about it, and decided to write my thought down. Then decided to post them here, in case they are helpful to someone else. This is just some things that have been helpful to me. <BR> <BR> ***What to do? First, I quit thinking about "what if", "how come", "it isn't fair", and "I want outta' here!". I don't entertain those thoughts anymore. Like dieting, you don't su... Fri, 10 Oct 2008 17:52:12 EST Intro from SW Missour Hey, all! <BR> I'm not a child giving care, but hope to offer some support to others caring for their parents, and gain some support as I care for a 92 yr old Alzheimer's patient (going on 3 years now). She has become like my kid!! I have no children, but feel responsible for her cuz I'm with her so much. Can anyone relate to that? <BR> <BR> Anyway, hope to benefit others as I gain something from ya'll. Much success in your journey of caregiving and healthier lifestyles! <BR> Julz Thu, 9 Oct 2008 16:57:20 EST . . Mon, 6 Oct 2008 18:06:34 EST Not a pretty topic, but important: Fecal Impaction I just had to deal with a new problem today. It isn't sanitized, but it's real life for a caregiver. It's caused by chronic constipation, and it's called "fecal impaction". Since I didn't know runny diahrrea was a symptom, this has probably been going on a while. Who would think that diahrrea is a symptom of not being able to pass a stool? Seems like such opposites. As a matter of fact, as you'll see at the end of the symptom list, I now realize that this is probably the cause of this m... Sat, 4 Oct 2008 02:30:36 EST Wandering OK, had to deal with a new issue this morning: WANDERING. According the the Alzheimer's website <link><BR>is_alzheimers.asp </link> , there are as many as 5 MILLION Americans living with Alzheimer's disease. And 60% of those will wander at some point. Do you realize we are talking about 3 million people with potential wandering issues? Not to mention those who have other forms of dementia. So this is not a unique situation. And I found lots of int... Fri, 3 Oct 2008 15:25:20 EST I'M BACK...... HI EVERYBODY! I'M BACK. AFTER A LONG, UNSCHEDULED HIATUS, I HAVE RETURN AND HOPEFULLY BY THE END OF THIS YEAR, I WILL BE ABLE TO STAY ON SPARKPEOPLE MORE FREQUENTLY. THE LAST TIME I REALLY POSTED, MY MOM HAD AN ACCIDENT IN HER HOUSE. SHE FELL AND HIT HER HEAD ON THE FLOOR AND IT CAUSED A HUGE KNOT ON HER HEAD. SHE'S FINE NOW. SHE'S COPING WITH MY BROTHER GOING OFF TO COLLEGE. SO SHE'S IN A NEW SEASON IN HER LIFE. I'M DEALING WITH MY BABY GOING TO SCHOOL FOR THE FIRST TIME NOW. SHE'S IN HEADST... Fri, 19 Sep 2008 13:10:28 EST Introducing myself My name is Tracy and I am taking care of an elderly mom. <BR> <BR> She is 69, but has many medical issues. <BR> <BR> The past 8 weeks have been a nightmare for all of us. Long story short, she had an infection in her colon and had to have part of it removed. She was in the hospital 2 full weeks after. She was home 3 days and I had to take her back in, with what ended up being just a muscle spasm. Then she was home about 5 days and woke in the middle of the night gasping for air. Think... Mon, 15 Sep 2008 15:45:17 EST They're still driving.....but should they be? Here's a really touchy subject for my mom and us.....she's still driving but we often wonder if she should be. <BR> <BR> She has hit street lights in parking lots, backed into a snowbank, etc....really seems to have issues backing up, otherwise she seems to do ok. <BR> <BR> She has already told me she'll hate me forever and will never talk to me again if I pull her license, any ideas/suggestions on what/how to proceed? Sun, 14 Sep 2008 06:57:56 EST Finally finding time to introduce myself....... Hello all, I'm so glad to have found this team, I've already found some very usefull things as I've poked around the threads..... <BR> <BR> I'm Tracy, I'm a late in life mommy (44) with an almost four year old son, although I don't care for my mom full time (she's still in her own home, still drives and cares for her personal needs) my husband and I have taken on many additional resposibilities regarding her and her home (paperwork, home maintainence, etc) since my dad passed away 6 years a... Sat, 6 Sep 2008 08:44:49 EST NEWBIE HERE Hi all, <BR> I'm new to the team. <BR> Just kinda looking for support and any input you all might have. <BR> My mother-in-law suffers from dementia that is starting to progress rather rapidly. We've recently put her into a personal care home, and she doesn't like it to say the least. <BR> Anyone have any coping strategies or helpful hints? Tue, 2 Sep 2008 13:24:17 EST Hello from Helen Hi everyone! <BR> <BR> I've been on SparkPeople for almost 2 months, and just "stumbled" across this team. I am 46 and I have been my mother's caregiver for almost 4 years now. We have been through some tough times. She came close to dying a couple of times, but now she is doing okay. Mom had a stroke a couple of years ago, and while she sustained a little weakness from it, it also seemed to have remedied some of her other problems. <BR> <BR> I won't ramble on anymore right now. I look for... Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:54:58 EST Getting a diagnosis, and what to do after that Hi, folks. I've only responded a few times to the notes in this team, but I've read a lot of your threads. As my mom goes thru various stages, it's comforting to read about other folks' ways of compensating. Thanks for being there and writing so informatively! <BR> <BR> I have a pretty basic question--how do you go about getting a diagnosis as to whether someone has Alzheimer's or just dementia? Do you go to a "geriatrician", or a psychologist/psychiatrist? Is a CT/MRI scan involved, or... Wed, 16 Jul 2008 10:57:12 EST Question: how do you handle the running comments? I have a question: Do you have to deal with a running commentary, and if so, how do you handle it? Today, Mom is commenting on everything that happens, like a radio announcer at a sports event. "They're wiggling their toes, they must be crazy, they must have ants in their pants. What's wrong with them . . .(son gets tired of the commentary, gets a blanket and pulls it over his head) . . ."there's an old man sitting there, can't see anything, there's a pile of bedding on the chair, the poo... Mon, 14 Jul 2008 15:58:44 EST having trouble adding pics i'm trying to add pics to my homepage . maybe i'll get it down lol. Sat, 5 Jul 2008 23:59:27 EST positive day ahead today i will try to be more understanding & not get so stressed out. <BR> i will overlook what things i can and just deal better with things i can't do anything about <em>43</em> . <BR> i am determined to have a great day and i know i can! <BR> hope everyone is doing good today. Tue, 1 Jul 2008 12:18:42 EST today... some days are just better than others. <BR> my mom sometimes just wakes up from a nap and is a bad mood and there's nothing i can do. <BR> it's just stressful . <em>39</em> Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:43:52 EST Memory loss Cat, I found several things in that memory loss article at <link><BR>re-news.php?title=Understanding+Memory<BR>+Loss&id=29&page=2&nTown=10 </link> that pertained to me. The drug info may also be needful at a later date. <BR> <BR> Situations affecting behavior may include: <BR> • Moving to a new residence or nursing home <BR> • Changes in the environment or caregiver arrangements <BR> • Misperceived threats <BR> • Admission to a hospital <BR> • Being as... Fri, 27 Jun 2008 15:53:39 EST . . Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:44:41 EST . . Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:19:10 EST . . Thu, 26 Jun 2008 18:08:32 EST . . Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:49:24 EST hello i am new to this. i am 44 years old & i live with my mother. i have been happily married for 24 years and counting. i have 2 sons ages 22 ( tomorrow ) and 9. <BR> i am taking care of my mom whom has diabeties & arthritis and is over weight. i am trying to help her but am feeling very overwelmed at times. Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:45:42 EST Hello! I'm not a caregiver in the same sense most of you are, but I'm hoping I can drop in here from time to time to see how everyone is doing and to provide whatever support I can. <BR> <BR> My 86-year-old mother lives in a nearby assisted living facility. She has developed a progressive dementia--maybe Alzheimer's, maybe not. There is a point at which it no longer matters what kind it is. <BR> <BR> I am not my mother's direct caregiver, but she depends on me to be her connection with the "real" ... Fri, 20 Jun 2008 09:15:00 EST Hello Hello everyone! I'm new to SparkPeople and the Caregiver Children team. A little over two years ago, my parents came to live with us. Mom was battling lung cancer, and I was able to take care of her until she passed away (a year ago January). The grieving process has been difficult for me. I miss her dearly. My Dad suffered a massive stroke, and we took him out of a nursing home to come live with us. It has been a blessing for myself, my husband and our three children to have this time w... Tue, 3 Jun 2008 21:01:18 EST . . Thu, 29 May 2008 07:54:19 EST Looking for Blessings Hidden in the Mire Caregiving can really pull you down sometimes. Especially when you're dealing with an unpleasant patient. It can suck the life out of you. So, I've started looking for blessings, things I can be thankful for, hidden in the muck and mire that wants to drag me down. They are like jewels, like rays of light , that lift me out of the mire, and help me realize there is still hope and life out there. <em>67</em> <BR> <BR> When I focus down on the mire, I get more depressed, when I focus on th... Thu, 8 May 2008 10:23:12 EST New forum--Finding Support Thought we could start a new forum here--a place to share organizations, websites, and books that have helped you as a caregiver. The problem with caregiving is that there is no training. Something happens, and. . .Poof! You're a caregiver! <BR> <BR> The other problem is that with many of us, the situation degenerates, and so coping mechanisms that worked in the past are no longer applicable. We constantly need new strategies to deal with new situations. And we don't know what we need, u... Tue, 6 May 2008 17:18:59 EST Team goals Spark now has team goals available. We could work together on a goal that is important to us. We get to choose the goal. It does not have to fitness or nutrition related, although it can be. And we can have more than one goal. <BR> <BR> What do you struggle with? What do you need to keep up with in your life, that a daily reminder in your "other goals" section would help? The spinning group is tracking minutes spent spinning yarn. The FlyLady team is working on making your bed each... Tue, 29 Apr 2008 12:51:06 EST How do you entertain them? I have a question, and would love to hear suggestions from all of you. What do you do to entertain your patients, especially if they have dementia and can no longer follow simple instructions? <BR> <BR> Do you bring in people to "play" with them, take them to a senior center or senior daycare? Do you have games or movies that you found worked with the short attention span and decreasing ability? <BR> <BR> So far, for me the best DVDs have been the old (and mostly black and white) George R... Mon, 14 Apr 2008 23:15:49 EST Thoughts Hey. I've been MIA from Spark for a while, family issues has made it difficult for me to keep up with even this little bit of my life. My Aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor after she fell in her home in Maryland, My cousin(From the same family) had a second surgery to remove cancerous growths from his thyroid (He also had(s) a brain tumor removed-the doctors aren't sure if they got it all and he may need more surgeries.) They're doing OK right now but my Aunt may never regain the use of he... Thu, 10 Apr 2008 19:23:18 EST prayer request Hi all, <BR> Update on my dad. The dr has reduced his prednisone from 40 to 30 mg. He changed the ointment from silver oxide, I do not know the name. He wants dad to see an ent, because he does not have thrush, and dad is complaining of throat pain in the very back of his throat. He will not eat because it hurts. <BR> And then to make matters worse they are pumping him full of pain medication, when he isn't asking for it. They ask him if he wants pain meds. With my dad you don't ask him... Wed, 5 Mar 2008 00:22:33 EST new I'm Cheryl, will be 55 in April, and hubby and I have been caring for my 80+ y/o mum who lives with us. Daddy died 4 years ago. We were childless so this has been a Huge adjustment! Fri, 29 Feb 2008 10:31:55 EST Any ideas? Hi all! I'm hoping some of you may have run across this issue and can give me some ideas. Last Thursday, Mom (who is completely bed-bound) lost a filling. Since then, I've been pulling my hair out trying to find a dentist who can make a house call to pop it back in. <BR> <BR> So far, I've tried the 800- dental referral service, the local Council on Aging, every nursing home and home health agency listed in the phone book, local dentists, the ADA, and google. The only one I've found asks ... Mon, 18 Feb 2008 17:32:54 EST Anybody home? Last post I see listed here is from Feb. 2nd. Is this team dead? Sun, 17 Feb 2008 00:35:32 EST Living with them! Whew! Hi, <BR> I'm new to this so I'll be brief. I'm 36 living at home with both parents who are over 60. Both have medical concerns: Diabetes, renal failure, dialysis, heart conditions,neuropathy in feet and much more. I'm trying to get into better shape so I don't end up like them but feel I'm leaving them behind. Dad has no interest in exercising but likes to ridicule those who do. Mom can't exercise much but refuses to try.Any suggetsions? Wed, 30 Jan 2008 18:55:20 EST And Mom makes 3 Dear Team Members, <BR> <BR> My sweet 86 year old mother is now living with us, my husband and me. We had talked about this for several years and now Mom needs just a little help, she moved here last October. It is working out fairly well, but our privacy is suffering some. My husband is super, he loves Mom so much and we both feel this is the right and good thing to do. I have gotten back into yoga practice almost everyday and using that time as MY TIME. I meditate and think on the goo... Thu, 3 Jan 2008 14:35:20 EST Never Alone! Hi! I just noticed a pattern in my binging. I do good for 3 or 4 days, and then I wig out. I stay up until like midnight (my usual bedtime if 9 or 10) and after every one is in bed, that is when I blow it! I watch old television shows or movies and I finish off the leftovers, or eat cookies or milk, last night I finished off a pizza. While I'm doing this I'm thinking, "I'm never alone." I am staying up after every goes to bed because that is the ONLY TIME that I'M ALONE! <BR> <BR> When my s... Mon, 10 Dec 2007 09:56:36 EST Newbie... I am 40 and the caretaker of my mother who is 64. I became the primary caretaker of my mom and dad following hurricane Katrina. Seems weird that as of tomorrow Aug.29th makes 2 years since that aftermath. It has been a long haul. I lost my dad last november to a short battle of pacreatic cancer. My mom is diagnosed with bipolar disorder and multiple cases of post traumatic stress disorder. More than anything I feel like I have become the parent to a child. I joined this site too help mo... Tue, 28 Aug 2007 22:25:01 EST helpful website Hello, <BR> <BR> I just wanted to share a website I found that could be helpful for some of you. It's from the National Caregiver Family Support Network. I guess just copy and paste and it should work. <BR> <BR> Take care! <BR> <BR><BR>r/carefam/where_to_find_help/where_to_<BR>find_help.asp Fri, 13 Jul 2007 17:58:28 EST new here hello everyone <BR> just thought i would introduce myslf. my name is lynn, live in stafford,uk. i have since last year(when my dad died) become a carer for my mum who has parkinson disease and now lives with us.joined spark people 2 months ago.if anyone has any helpful advice on how to cope with being a carer would like to hear from you.i dont always cope well with all the changes that have taken place in the last 16 months in my life.could scream at times. <em>247</em> Sun, 3 Jun 2007 03:50:25 EST new here hi, i am new here and just wanted to introduce myself. i am 27 and have two children 3yrs and 7 wks. i used to work at a nursing home until i had my 3yr old and my grandmother fell and broke her hip. she is 88yrs old and lives with my mom (i watch her when my mom goes to work). she is diagnosed with dimentia (sp?) so life is livly with her and two young children but they keep her young! i truly beleive god put us in this situation. it has been a wonderful experiance for my daughter to k... Thu, 31 May 2007 23:01:33 EST PDD-NOS or other Autism Children Hello, I am Jennifer and I have a 11 almost 12 year old PDD-NOS ( Pervasive Developement Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified.) In other words They don't know what he has so they through him in with the Autism range. He only has about 3 traites of the Autism. The rest come from Add but not enough to call him ADHD, Some signs of the Fragial X syndrom Etc. Etc. He is a mixture of a variety of titles. What I have is a child that has a angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. He has a behavi... Wed, 30 May 2007 12:04:48 EST Making the tough decision Sorry if this becomes a "venting" page, but I just learned about this site, and it's very timely for me. <BR> <BR> My mother is 82 and until this past Thursday lived alone in her 1 floor rancher. She was found Thursday night on the floor, having fallen God knows when (some time after late Sunday when I last spoke with her). She is still recovering in a hospital, and most nurses, doctors, social workers, and friends are telling my sister and me that she needs to go to an assisted living fac... Tue, 29 May 2007 17:38:36 EST