"No no really, I am 100% most definitely starting my diet this Monday!"
I have been saying this every Friday evening over a glass of wine and a takeaway for the last 2 years and my weight... well, I've gained 5 and a half stone!!!! Yup, in just 2 years! (Going from a slim 14 to a voluptuous 22)
I feel disgusting, I know it's vein but the fact I've piled so much weight on has caused me great depression. I can't bear to look in the mirror, I dread going out the house for paranoia of bumping into people who I haven't seen for a while and Iake 3xcuses not to go out and meet up with friends. I'm well and truly stuck in a rut of not looking after myself, not bothering with my appearance and spend days emotionally eating and evenings drowning my sorrows in a bottle of wine and then soaking that up at 10pm with a hefty portion of junk food!
I've recently broke my ankle and it's really shown me how bloody unhealthy and overweight I am. Trying to use crutches and hop all my weight on one leg has been laughable (yet quite soul destroying). Peeing in a bowl coz I can't manouver my fat arse up the stairs is even more cringy!
My Story (feel free to read, browse or ignore)
Annyhoo, here I am, a size 22 (again) and have yo-yo'd everywhere between a size 8 and 22 since the age of 17. I was extra lean in my late teens to my mid to late 20's (not without the help of amphetamines, bulimia and being addicted to the gym) then as I reached my later 20's the bulimia and amphetamine and gym stopped but the binge eating continued, along with the newness for 35cl bottle of vodka a night! Within 2 year I had gained 6 and a half stone!!! I should have mentioned, I used to he a model so was well known in my home town, so you can just imagine the looks I used to get when people seen me 6 sizes bigger!!! Talk about paranoia... i guess thats the price you pay for putting yourself in the limelight I guess). I hit rock bottom and my depression was worse than ever. I was so desperate I started with the amphetamines again and started dropping weight. Within a year id lost 5 and a half stone and was a nice size 12-14 and stayed this way for a few years (thanks to partying at weekends with my now husband).
3 years ago I gave birth to my beautiful daughter and went pack up to 14 and a half stone. I wasn't too bothered at first, I'd just had a beautiful baby and was enjoying being a new mum. Then the depression hit again and I became desperate so again it was in with the amphetamines and out with the cookie jar! I lost all the weight within a year. I hated being the kind of mum who was now reliant on drugs to keep thin so I stopped! But over the weeks the addiction once again turned from them to a bottle of wine a night and junk food. So here I am again... hefty and unhappy!
So this time I am really going to take charge... eat clean, move more (once the cast is off my ankle of course) and cut out the wine (well, except for weekends of course).
ANYONE OUT THERE WITH ME????
From Monday (hahaha there is those words again) it's time to start getting smaller, happier and healthier. I would say no slimming pills but that would be a lie... but don't shout at me yet, l how never to go back on the likes of amphetamines, but my doctor has prescribed me orlistat to help aid my weight loss journey. I've opted to do a low sugar diet aiming at around 800-1000 calories a day for a good few weeks to try and banish my addiction to sugar. Then it's going to simply be a case of clean eating... if you can't grow it or catch it or make it from scratch you can't eat it!
I'm feeling so ready this time round and so determined, hence why I've set up this little journal. People may read it, people may not, but I've heard keeping a log really helps to keep you on target so I'll be posting my food diary and any other rants or ravings deemed necessary.
AGAIN, IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN ME ON A JOURNEY TO GETTING SLIMMER GIVE ME A SHOUT! If I can do it anyone can!!!