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8/19/17 3:38 A

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I almost feel like your life is parallel to mine so I understand you 100%. Keep telling yourself from here the only way is up! And the place you find yourself in now is only temporary!

I too have struggled with depression for 20 years on and off meds, was bulimic for almost 10 years, then cycled through binge eating and gaining 6.5st to then becoming addicted to amphetamine to lose the weight then gain it all back again.

My current situation is I've gained 5.5st in last 2 years via eating too much junk and drinking wine every evening. Im now rock bottom and also feel suicidal quite often but id never act upon it as I live for my 3 year old daughter! I keep telling myself it's only temporary, I can lose weight when I put my mind to it and the only way is up!

Im starting a whole new health regime on Monday if you'd like to do it with me.

I hope you are okay xx

JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 73,996
8/16/17 12:37 A

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I hope you doctor puts you on medication and you STAY taking it, since IMO when we have depression we just LACK certain chemicals in our body and the medication is just those chemicals.
I found a doctor who put me on Metformin even though my blood sugar was 115 and diabetes starts at 126. He said I'm close enough. I've released 40# since April and have had NO hunger. (I fell June 10th and broke my femur so I've been dealing with that.)
Ask the doctor about Metformin. I take it for Insulin Resistance and also, Armour Thyroid since my dr. said none of us over 40 have a thyroid that functions like it did at 20.
you might want to read Louise Hay's book "You Can Heal Your Life." Check out her web site for quotes.

Edited by: JIBBIE49 at: 8/16/2017 (00:42)

 current weight: 145.0 
8/15/17 12:31 P

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I'm in a very, very bad place right now and I really need some support. I'm turning here, because I'm not ready to share this with people that I actually know.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 20-years-old and have spent the intervening 20 years on-and-off antidepressents and antianxiety meds. I'm currently in my darkest period since that initial diagnosis. I think a lot about dying and even about suicide, but have never gone so far as to plan anything- just thought about how good it would feel to not be in this place anymore. My family and job are the reason that I never go further. I love my family and wouldn't want to leave them with the heartbreak and I love my job and wouldn't want to leave them in the lurch. I finally confessed to my husband this morning what I've been thinking, and he initially talked about having my hospitalized. Part of me knows that I probably need it, but I just don't feel like I can step out of my life and job right now to do it.

I've also been diagnosed with Binge-Eating Disorder about 18 months ago. With the depression as bad as it is, the BED has become AWFUL. I've put on close to 70-pounds in the last two years and am miserably unhealthy.

I'm trying to get back to being myself. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday morning and am now on my third day of taking care of myself physically. For those that share my faith in God, please pray for me. I'm praying that my doctor is able to get me onto something that works better and can get me on the road to being well again.

Thanks for taking a moment to read this. It feels good just to "say" what's been going on in my head.

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