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ISLANDMAMA76's Photo ISLANDMAMA76 SparkPoints: (4,862)
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12/28/17 8:10 P

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I am back to Sparkpeople after a few years long break from it. I remember the first time I started food tracking and felt the same as you. It truly is an eye opener!

Keep your chin up!

You get only this one life, one chance at living in this world. Be yourself, be brave, be happy, and enjoy every precious second!


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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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10/15/17 5:56 A

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well the sum total of my first week back on track didn't go exactly to plan and I didn't expect it to - I tracked everything I ate and aimed to do a minimum of 10 mins exercise a day but I fell down on the exercise on day 6 so basically I cant even do a week streak of exercise! oh well I will try harder this week.

tracking food has been a bit of an eye opener - I eat too much sodium, too much fat and not enough protein and fibre, carbs are the majority of my diet which is not good. aim this week is to even it out a bit and get it all a bit more balanced.

all in all a good first week and good things to build upon



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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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10/11/17 4:18 A

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Something has given - OH is still at work and enjoying it even if he is totally exhausted, we have sat down and had a talk about the future and our hopes/ fears and for the first time in forever I actually feel like we are a couple working towards the same goals.

part of the goal is for us both to improve our fitness and health - we have both agreed that it is well overdue for us to take ourselves in hand so we are treating this as a team effort and acting as each others cheerleaders.

we are starting small - tracking what we eat, trying to up our fruit and veg intake and doing at least 10 mins activity a day to make it a habit. once we have that down pat we will jiggle the aims and up the ante a bit to make it a bit more challenging - baby steps right ? feeling hopeful and happy and that's for the first time in I don't know how long!



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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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9/22/17 5:02 A

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OH starts his job this coming Monday, he put it off for a month and is making excuses why it will not work out so I don't expect it to last for any length of time (read probably no longer than the first day).... I've also decided that something needs to give in my life...

I've lived like this for 15 years, supporting him and his family with little to no support or help in return and now I am done, I am tired, my health is starting to fail and I'm scared that all I have in my future is more of the same and I cant live like this anymore. If OH doesn't go to this job and hold it down and start contributing then I need to build my future apart from him and his family of hangers on. I need to start putting myself at the top of my priority list and that also applies to my health as well.

Which is why I am starting over, going back to basics and get it done this time. No more procrastination, no more half a$$ing it time to get real and get it done no excuses.

I want to feel alive and strong and positive and hopeful and part of that is regaining my health and that includes my mental health. time to crack on start living the rest of my life whatever form that turns out to be.



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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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8/20/17 6:16 A

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ok big changes again - I am in work and have been for over a week - I'm settling in well and can see that I will be there for time to come. other news is OH has finally got a job and he starts work in 3 weeks time - to say I am pleased is a massive understatement!

time to start living a bit and doing more than working and worrying about how I'm going to hold everything together - cant wait!



 Pounds lost: 4.3 
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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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7/28/17 5:17 A

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I didn't get the job so I am a bit disappointed at that mind you ive got 4 interviews set up for next week so something will come out of that even if I have to take a short term temping job for now to keep cash flow going.

my son has told me he moves into his flat share end of September and then he is going travelling from April of next year for at least a year so he is becoming well and truly independent. so its nigh time that I decide what I want from life regarding the rest of the people in it.

OH has applied for one job in 4 months and that took him all day to complete with much moaning, huffing and puffing and making a bit show of doing it. He has no experience in the field, not really suited to the job and has zero chance of getting it but he looked like he was playing fair and making efforts to help. His grown up daughter has just broken up with her partner so now she is alone with her kids and will struggle again financially which means that it will be expected that I provide again and bail her out when she needs help, do online shops for her to put food in the cupboards and so on - basically history repeating itself from before she got together with her chap. I am sick of feeling so trapped and having no option of having a life for myself due to the responsibilities of keeping everyone else afloat - can I really live out the rest of my life like this or even just think that this is all my life is going to be?? that thought makes me die a bit inside...

I know I am being taken advantage of, I know I am spoken to very badly and I just let it happen. in short I have turned into a doormat and it has been this way for so long that to change things feels like an uphill climb. I am going to be the villain of the piece if I insist on changes and I'm going to have a fight on my hands for anyone to change - am I strong enough to do it? I don't know ive lived like this for so long I cant imagine anything different.

health and fitness and losing weight has sort of gone on the back burner whilst I was in a blind panic about not having a job so now its operation back on track - eating right, logging my intake, drinking lots of liquid and moving my a$$. I have put off cancelling my gym membership (OH told me to do it as it will save some money but that is the only bit of sanity I have in the world..)

sheesh I'm such a downer - something in my life has to give before its my sanity!!



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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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7/23/17 4:50 A

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i have an interview set up for next Tuesday which I have a good feeling about and have applied for another 2 jobs just to back myself up a bit.

health wise and fitness wise its time to get into a routine - I need to drink more to limit the damage that I have done to my kidneys. I am also looking to add more movement into my every day - that is my focus for this week just 2 small simple aspects and from that I build.

lets go!



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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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7/21/17 3:51 A

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all change again - I handed my notice in at work and walked out, my mental and physical health is more important than any job so even though for now I am unemployed I will get myself sorted and move forward.

So plans for today? phone interview for a job first thing then send off some cv's to other companies. need to do a food shop today for mostly fruit and veggies and also want to fit in a visit to the gym to get the blood pumping a bit. weigh in day is tomorrow so hopefully that will be positive but not worried too much if the needle is stuck for now it will start moving again.



 Pounds lost: 4.3 
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42.75
57
CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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Posts: 20
7/19/17 2:17 A

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I'm starting to settle into a routine with the job that I have and I'm beginning to think that I can make a go of it - it's been a bumpy ride and I didn't think it would be so out of my comfort zone but alternatives are few and far between so I think I need to give this the best shot I can of working and just get on with it.

same can be said of fitness aims / weight loss as well - i'm sick of starting over so the answer is simple, don't stop. my eating wont be on point every day and I wont find time to exercise every single day because sometimes life takes over and I've come to realise that is totally ok because so long as I am improving on myself and still making efforts to make progress then that's all I can do really.

my son is moving out in the next 6 months so my life is naturally changing with my responsibilities and commitments. I cant control what my partner does or doesn't do so I'm not going to stress it anymore - I can do what I can do and if that doesn't please everyone well they need to do something to help themselves.

I actually feel like I'm starting to find some peace in my life - and about time too!



 Pounds lost: 4.3 
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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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7/15/17 3:35 A

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After a bit of a bumpy start I am still here and still ticking over. I got my results back from the doctor yesterday and I have reduced kidney function and high cholesterol but good heart function - sum total, drink loads of water, cut down on salt in my diet and lose some weight, got to go back again in 3 months to have the tests repeated so all good there.

time to concentrate on project me now, I went for an interview last week for a new job and I find out next week if I get it. I also got told by my son that he is moving out in the not too distant future to move into a house share with his mates so lots of things going on. OH still hasn't done anything about finding a job and I don't know if he ever will - he's used to doing nothing now, which doesn't make it right it's just the way things are.

plans today - got to do a food shop to get some bits we need and have a gym visit scheduled in. I also want to get outside and get some fresh air and go for a walk, the sun isn't shining but its dry and bright so time to blow some cobwebs away and clear my head a bit. all good in my life - I can see that things are moving on and that can only be a good thing.



 Pounds lost: 4.3 
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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
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7/2/17 3:50 A

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only one up in my house so its my time to take some time to reflect and get my head straight before the noise and hustle of the day starts - I like this time alone it feels like my oasis of calm before the day starts properly.

I've had a couple of days off work and I go back tomorrow - I've only been in the role 2 months and I don't really like it, it's not what the job was described as when I went for interview and my line manager (boss) is really high maintenance so I feel like I am on shifting sands with him all the time - basically I do not feel secure. I don't have the luxury of walking out (that is the advice that I get all the time from partner, well either that or find another job) - I let most of what he says just wash over me I cant be bothered to row with him so its not worth responding to. For now I get my head down and just get on with it and see what happens.

plan today is a gym visit and a short home workout later, I'm doing a roast dinner tonight so I have got the meat out for that and will prepare copious amounts of veggies to fill my plate up. food planned out for the day again and breakfast already eaten.

ok house is stirring time for me to get moving!

Edited by: CATANDY20 at: 7/2/2017 (03:51)

 Pounds lost: 4.3 
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CATANDY20's Photo CATANDY20 SparkPoints: (6,183)
Fitness Minutes: (6,233)
Posts: 20
7/1/17 4:05 A

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I've been talking about losing weight and going thru the motions for as long as I can remember - like years. I lose some, I put it back on... and nothing really changes in my life. Now I've had a wake up call health wise that means that I need to do this for real - I've got thyroid problems, kidney problems, high cholesterol and it's starting to impact my life so no more waffling and prevaricating, time to knuckle down and get it done this time.

whilst I'm at it it's also time to make some changes in my life - I have a high stress job in sales that don't enjoy, a partner who refuses to work so I have financially kept him for over 10 years (don't ask me why or how this happened it's just become the norm) and 4 grown up children between me and the partner, 2 of whom depend on me financially and practically on an ongoing basis. I need to downsize my life and responsibilities and decide what is worth holding onto.

so baby steps as to how I am going to go make these changes...

1/ drink more h2o - I managed 10 glasses yesterday and it makes my digestion better and me feel fuller so I tend to snack less
2/ start moving - went for a short walk yesterday, like 20 mins or so and I was exhausted afterwards, if that isn't a wake up call that I need to take this seriously I don't know what is.

I'm tracking foods just to see what I'm starting from - getting that under control will come after I have the other 2 aspects in place.



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