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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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11/22/17 3:15 P

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so I have really been struggling the past 6 weeks or so. The scale has stopped moving down and is not just bouncing up/down the same 4# or so. I had tried eating to TDEE. Ultimately, I found it more stressful and was never able to meet the fat and calorie targets, while going over on protein. I also review my recent recipes in the SparkPeople recipe calculator and was SHOCKED! I way underestimated the macros in most of the dishes.

So:
1. No more trying to reach TDEE
2. Re-calculated my macros in ketodietapp
3. No more just eating and tracking as I go for a while. I need to go back to pre-planning my days for the most part. Until I get back into the groove of my original Keto ranges.

I hope that in the next week I will start to see improvements again. Looking forward to let bloating and more energy and just maybe the scale will cooperate too!

* Tracy *
Washington


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_RAMONA's Photo _RAMONA Posts: 11,304
10/13/17 11:58 A

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emoticon
Keep the keto going, and the rest will fall into place, slowly but surely. I found for myself that it took almost a year for my brain to really wake up and stay in the game all of the time. It's great you've got medical support.
emoticon


Dr. Jason Fung: "Holy consensus, Batman. With so many 'experts' from Michelle Obama to the USDA to virtually all of the medical professionals (including doctors and dieticians) agreeing that 'Eat Less, Move More' is the way to go, you might think that it is 100% unquestionably true. But here's a queer thought... if we all agree that we know the cure for obesity, and we've spent billions on educations and programs - why are we getting fatter? In other words, why does this 'cure' suck so bad?


 current weight: 135.0 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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10/12/17 1:44 P

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Once again time has gotten away from me! It is flying and I seem to be getting little accomplished with reorganizing my life. I am on point with my Keto, that has been the one constant.

I am down 3 sizes in clothing now. I try to not dwell on the scale because it bounces around and doesn't always show the loss in pounds.

My blood work is great. Was able to get rid of some of my meds too. Doctor is happy with what I am doing. My cholesterol went from 219 down to 173 and my triglycerides went from 205 to 115. Super happy about that.

Finances are tighter than normal. This is so stressful. DH doesn't have to worry because it all lies on my shoulders to make it all work. I would love to not have to be concerned and have someone take care of it all for me one day.



* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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_RAMONA's Photo _RAMONA Posts: 11,304
8/15/17 6:03 P

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Way to go! You are doing awesome! I especially appreciate that you are worrying less about the scale than you are making note of the NSV markers you area experiencing. Keto losses register much more slowly on the scale because as you eliminate the fat you also gain muscle. Keto is all about body recomposition!

I hear you on the face business, too... and there are people and exercises that do help.

This is where I started:
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=2794634


Shape Your Face
www.shapeyourface.com/

Give it time, too. There is nothing better for the skin than Keto!




Dr. Jason Fung: "Holy consensus, Batman. With so many 'experts' from Michelle Obama to the USDA to virtually all of the medical professionals (including doctors and dieticians) agreeing that 'Eat Less, Move More' is the way to go, you might think that it is 100% unquestionably true. But here's a queer thought... if we all agree that we know the cure for obesity, and we've spent billions on educations and programs - why are we getting fatter? In other words, why does this 'cure' suck so bad?


 current weight: 135.0 
250
221.25
192.5
163.75
135
TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
Fitness Minutes: (41,360)
Posts: 2,193
8/15/17 5:23 P

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Wow! Its been a few months since I've posted in my journal emoticon I can't even keep up with my teams. Life needs to slow down a bit! Adulting shouldn't be this hard and crazy all the time.

So a lot has changed since my last entry. I went off the traditional "diet" and changed to Keto (very low carb) on May 30, 2017. It has been difficult, I cannot lie. Yet parts of it are very easy.

I have lost lots of inches...I don't know how many though. emoticon I did not log my measurements before I started. I took a few but I am losing in other areas...go figure! I have lost about 20 # - which is fabulous! emoticon

I do miss bread most of all. I have found a good low carb bread company by mail order. But it is quite expensive - in my opinion. I do buy a package of 6 bagels each payday. I make garlic toast with it. I have some recipes that I need to try too. I have all the ingredients to make my own Keto bread and bagels.

I spend a tremendous amount of time in the kitchen cooking and prepping food. Never cooked this much in my life. but it is very different when you do not just grab convenient on the go foods and snacks.

Some of the choices come automatic for me now...other times I battle in my head when I feel tempted by something. There is always a basket of chocolate and pretzels in the office. A lot of time the chocolate calls out to me...but I have resisted.

Some non-scale victories (NSV) have been, my rings are loose, I can now wear a size 24 in pants from Maurices and they are loose after one wear, my necklace is a lot longer than it used to be, I can now fit and get in/out of the movie theater chairs comfortably. My neck has slimmed enough under my chin that I am actually getting some wrinkles and little sag (will have to see if I can tone that up!). My legs cross easier now, I have enough room in my chair at home for Bella to sit next to me...before my butt took up the entire width. So many more things too.

I have more energy over all. I do not have the dreaded 2:30 crash in the afternoons. I don't sleep all weekend like before. Oh, I still get tired but that's from not enough sleep. I tend to stay up later and wake earlier. Also driving Uber on the weekends and up late night.

Mom turns 70 yrs old on 8/28. We are doing a family BBQ up there. Stazia is making a cake and a pie. I will have to make some keto friendly snacks and dessert to take with me.

Well, I need to get back to work. I need to work on setting time aside for ME again.

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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5/19/17 12:16 P

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So happy it is the weekend. I am looking forward to Ubering. Need some $$

I did weigh this morning even though I didn't have my normal routine yet. It showed me up 3#s to 314. Makes me sick!

Makes me realize that I have to make a true plan and put it in writing, or I will keep half-assing it and get nowhere fast!

I need to reset my alarm clock so that I get up an hour early so that I will go for a walk. Weather is going to be way too hot to walk during the day and then I drive Uber in the evenings. But if I don't take this small step of resetting the alarm I will just end up talking about doing it forever!

I do not know if this is my hormonal time of the month or not...because I have felt ravenous and end up overeating.

I have kept my attitude positive still....which feels good. Too easy to get down in the pity pool again!

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
Fitness Minutes: (41,360)
Posts: 2,193
5/17/17 11:53 A

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I have been doing pretty good lately. My attitude is a WHOLE lot better than it was. I have tried slowing down so that I have time to do things and to try and not feel so rushed. While it is always a work in progress, I am doing much better.

We really enjoyed our few days at the ocean. Will definitely stay there again and maybe even take the dogs with us.

I reset all of my SP goals and started with a clean slate. It also lowered my caloric ranges, which I am working on getting used to. I didn't realize how set I was in my higher zones. But I have been there for a least a year, so that shouldn't be too surprising.

I was feeling left out of one of my SP groups. I join in the conversations but don't get the feedback that other members get. I realized this morning that it started making me feel like an outsider...not one of the "popular" kids. And for some reason, I need that feeling of being included. It seems to be a part of me and how I work. It is that feeling of being included that makes me feel that I have support and am not on my own. I am not sure if I realized before how important it is for me to feel included and not secluded.

I also am trying to cook more...and eat less processed or fast foods. I was starting to eat more fast food again...and I don't want to keep going down that path.

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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3/30/17 3:22 P

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Still not setting time aside for me to be on SP like I want to. Work has been steady busy and chaotic seems to be the new way of my life. Not really happy about that..but it is what it is, I suppose.

Have gained back more weight. I need to focus and apply myself. I am trying - almost. I seem to come up with 1000 excuses for one thing or another. Just feel disgusting!

But I am getting my hair done for summer 2017 this Saturday. It has been dark for too long...need some brightness and a good style.

I have gotten away from paying attention to when I start to fee full and am overeating based. I may just need to do a complete restart instead of thinking I can just tweak a few things. Because I have been stuck in this place for way too long.

I do like the sound of a complete reboot. That will be my first goal.

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
Fitness Minutes: (41,360)
Posts: 2,193
3/13/17 5:53 P

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Been way too long since I did a journal entry. So much has happened! Ginger had her puppies. We had no idea she was pregnant when we got her. Surprise! She had 4, but the last one born didn't make it. Too much time had passed since start of labor and I don't think it was fully developed either. But the 3 are doing well and appear to be healthy.

I still have not started any exercise. I find every excuse NOT to. *sigh I am trying to focus on my food choices. Last week I had a couple emotional eating days where I just plain over ate on fat or calories. That doesn't help anything.

My freggies have slacked off too....bad bad bad. I'm trying to set aside some ME time each morning for SP.

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
Fitness Minutes: (41,360)
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2/21/17 1:23 A

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Well, this year has gotten off to a very rough start. Between over extending our credit at the holidays, to the winter weather destroying our porch and damaging our house..I am so very ready for better things to come our way.

Depression has been rampant this winter. I am still not sure if this new hormone replacement medication is the right one or the right dose. I am back to being extremely hot with tons of sweating. It is miserable. I mean I already feel gross from having gained back 30# and feeling fatter than ever, and then lets toss pouring sweat anytime I am moving around or in the store or at a restaurant. Very hard to deal with. I try to ignore it and not let it bother me....what people are thinking when they see me. I don't want to be perceived again as that typical fat person. I am more than a fat person. You would think at 50 yrs old that I wouldn't let it bother me (so much). but it does. I can't help it. Will that ever change? Does that change for people that are extremely overweight that get fit? Are we too damaged at this point to overcome?

I didn't get everything accomplished this weekend that I had wanted to. But then maybe I did, or I would have done more. I ordered my new glasses today. By all means I should have waited longer...but I am tired of putting my needs aside for others. Selfish? maybe..but I need new glasses and have for about a year now. So there we go. I made $192 Uber driving last week. My glasses (bifocal and then a pair of sunglasses) are $284. So I need to drive this week too...just praying that it will be busier than this past one. I was online 4 days to earn what I did. It was very slow. Or maybe it was because we now have 7-8 drivers online now at the same time. I am not sure yet. But I will need to drive enough to cover my glasses and then go towards all of our other major expenses.

The guys can't start rebuilding our fence, porch, roof and window until the weather gets better. It snowed and rained all day today. I am tired of it looking like we live in a junk yard. I miss our nice deck and yard. The dogs miss being able to go out and be in the yard. Not happy with the leash and being walked around the driveway.

This is actually the firs time that I have used our new Notebook. Its pretty cool. But just another item we didn't need that DH bought at Christmas. Sure it is nice. I hope that he will use it more for Facebook and email and that it will be easier for him with the Parkinson's. He keeps it in his mancave now..which is fine.

I'm tired but feel that I will have a hard time sleeping tonight. I am not rushing to bed yet. I am thinking that this week, maybe not tomorrow...but this week that I will go to the gym before work a couple of days to see if I can get back into it. See if I miss it and I enjoy it. I thought I did before. So maybe I can again. I desparately want to start walking again. and the mornings were best...but at this point..I will take anything. The scale may not be horrific but the fat is much more flabby and gross looking and feeling than before.

I am trying to focus on my reasons for wanting to lose weight this time. Before I don't know exactly what it was. Mostly to be thinner. but that could be why I hit my wall after 2 yrs of hard regimen. At this point I want to be a strong and stronger than I was when I "quit". I felt good and had lots of energy and was sleeping way better. I think that will be my reason and to get my blood pressure down again. I can eat the fruits and veggies. I am still good with that. I still fall short on my protein intake, several days a week. So I need to implement a plan for that.

Well, I should start getting ready for bed. Need to take my fan back in there and get it plugged in...cannot sleep without it.

* Tracy *
Washington


 current weight: 283.2 
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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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2/9/17 8:05 P

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Thanks! Yea...I figure I will give this a shot and if I don't see any improvement then I will look for another ob/gyn. This was highly recommended. I know I have suffered from depression off/on for close to 30 yrs and I have not addressed that issue in a good 17 yrs.

My first step is to see how this new HRT drug does with my body. I should be able to gauge it by the end of first month on it.

I am certainly open to exploring other options!

* Tracy *
Washington


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SILVERSONNET's Photo SILVERSONNET Posts: 101
2/9/17 11:54 A

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Hi, Tracy; your journal speaks to me and reminds me of some of my past (and present) struggles. The main thing I want to say right now before I get back to work is to urge you to find a new ob/gyn! Women know that hormones (and that's what HRT is) affect everything--mood, weight, anger, stress, everything. Find someone with empathy and knowledge. When your hormones are straightened out, you'll be better prepared to work on the other issues.



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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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2/7/17 12:20 P

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Still struggling....emotionally, physically, weight, etc.

Probably time to see my primary doctor to discuss antidepressants or something. I saw my new ob/gyn for a change in my hormone replacement therapy. That was driven by insurance costs and maybe not as effective as it could be.

Today is my first day. Have been extremely stressed feeling, edgy, cranky and verge of tears for a few days now. Don't know if it is the "cycle" of it all or what. But I am so very tired of it, whatever the hell it is.

I see myself getting fatter again...seems like daily I notice something. It is really bringing me down. I'm trying to keep a grasp on eating better and functioning at work and doing everything that I need to do. But I don't think that I am taking care of me again.

DH keeps spending money on credit and then hassling me every day that he wants something else. We don't have any extra money now. Gone are the days of extras and fun money. We are down to bare minimums right now and I am "having" to drive more for Uber for household stuff. That is stressing me out because it used to be for me and it was fun, I enjoyed it more. Now I have to. Had to stop paying all extra on credit cards and shave down grocery budgets. I am so beyond stressed right now. Plus I am trying to work on my mileage tracking for driving last year (Oct-Dec) as the Uber miles are tax deductible. It is a lot of work. and I am very worried about how much we will have to pay this year because I know we are certainly not getting a refund. Tom earned $2800 with the paper routes which was fine at the time, but he didn't set aside any for income taxes. So not only am I worried about my one extra income, I have his to deal with. He has an attitude of "whatever, it will work out". How? Why is it up to ME to figure out where the $$ is going to come from? Why doesn't he share in that? I am so frustrated I can't even type it.

Work is busy too....I am having a hard time concentrating on work because of all this other stuff whirling around in my head. There are big changes in the works too. We might be moving to a different building. Have no idea of when or if. From what we saw on the plans that were left out, it becomes even more apparent the favoritism showed to a certain staff person.

I talked to my ob/gyn about my mood and anger issues. He said that the hormone replacement won't extend to that so I need to talk to my primary doctor. I don't like feeling angry like this..it stresses me out. Stress and anxiety are killing me right now.

I know I have rambled on about a ton of stuff..and it may not make a whole lot of sense...I type what runs through my head at the moment. I will do a better journal entry soon.

* Tracy *
Washington


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SATTVA's Photo SATTVA Posts: 874
2/3/17 11:55 A

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Thanks for starting a new journal! Proof that it doesn't have to be a major breakthrough, to encourage and inspire someone.



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TRACY6659's Photo TRACY6659 SparkPoints: (93,012)
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2/1/17 5:16 P

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emoticon emoticon emoticon

Starting a fresh journal for the new year. I have restarted my travels. Tired of calling it my "journey".

I have been doing really good with my foods the past week or so. I have been eating fresh fruits and veggies.

I am down 2# this week. Which is fantastic because I was up 5# last week! Today I am holding water..which I normally don't do. Hoping whatever it is will pass. Trying to push my water intake today.

I went for a walk on my lunch break. It turns out it was too darn cold. Only 28*. At first the sun was bright so it wasn't too bad. But then it went behind some clouds and there was a light breeze by the river. I had layered up but did not have a scarf, which would have saved me! I couldn't feel my face and my sinuses felt like they were on fire from breathing the cold air. Oh well....I finished and felt good about it. Managed to get a mile done.

Was starving after my walk. Probably ate too much. Eating my orange now and then won't snack on anything until dinner time.



* Tracy *
Washington


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