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ANNIESADVENTURE's Photo ANNIESADVENTURE Posts: 6,799
8/8/20 10:11 A

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The grands stayed overnight. Their family moved to newly renovated house that had been split into a downstairs and upstairs apartment. The first night there was a leak in the master bedroom ceiling. They reported it and moved everything out of that room. Last week part of the ceiling caved into the room. They are waiting for it to be fixed.
There may be a mold problem because their breathing is affected. The children stayed here last night.
* * * * * *

Yesterday recap.
Exercise was good. Doing the bulk of it first thing in the morning works best. It is less painful to these old bones then.

Nutrition was off plan. The grands were here. I had three meals.
RJ made one of my favorites, pancakes for breakfast. Tiny little silver dollar pancakes. So good. Hear me grunting like a little pig. I enjoyed but did not over-indulge.
Lunch was scrambled eggs. Then half an apple. Then a handful of chips and half a cup of Coca-cola...and a frosted cupcake.
In the afternoon the parents came with caramel popcorn logs for the kids. After a few nibbles, the 6 year old decided she couldn't eat hers so I finished it. I like caramel corn. It's a rare treat that is too much work to make so it's been a long time since I had it.
Supper was a piece of stone-ground wheat toast with peanut butter and honey and a cup of milk.

While it wasn't out-and-out craziness, it was different than I am used to eating.
I paid for it. By late evening I was sick. My stomach was rumbling and messed with my bowels, making too many trips to the bathroom.
I was finally able to settle down and go to bed around 3:30AM. Slept until a little voice woke me up on the intercom after 9AM.
My stomach is still a bit rumbly this morning.

I think the craziness started Thursday night when my mindset waivered. See yesterday's post here. It usually starts in the mind. I stayed the course Thursday night. It bore fruit in how I ate Friday.
I could have put on the brakes and turned around at any point. I didn't. I minimalized it. It wasn't eating willy-nilly. It was too many calories in one day. It was food I had not been eating. It came back to bite me.
I don't feel guilty or bad. It happens. I learned long ago that this is not all-or-nothing. Each day is just one step on a very long journey. Some days are stellar. Some are mundane. It's not a big deal in the scheme of life.
Repeating that behavior until it becomes the norm is where trouble lives. I don't plan to repeat that behavior today.
Fortunately, the scale showed mercy this morning and my weight remained the same as when I weighed yesterday morning. That was perhaps because I was sick last night and emptied out.

RJ made the children pancakes this morning. I think she was surprised when I passed. It's a joke here that when I hear her in the kitchen in the early morning, I call out, "Pancakes?" We rarely have pancakes. When I want them I can make them myself. It's just my little joke with her.
I avoid pancakes because, like pizza, they make my weight spike the next day. I suspect it's the carbs.

The sun is shining. The children are playing outside. Time to hit the exercises.

Their parents will pick them up this afternoon to go to a graduation party for a young man on the paternal side of their family that we do not know.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/8/2020 (10:38)



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8/7/20 7:39 A

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Down 2.0 pounds this morning.
Official Spark weight today: down 11 pounds from last Friday. That will probably bring out the naysayers. My losses will be bigger than for someone who only has a few pounds to lose. I've worked hard for this loss. Back in the groove again with IF and OMAD.

I've been doing well with IF but meals were mostly twice a day. This week I've finally made it back to once a day.

I have created a 40 pound challenge, with a beautiful visual fill-in page in my vision book to record my success. It will help me stay focused and break through a big hurdle. I have been so close to the next HUGE milestone for too long.

I will reach that goal before my mammogram appointment in September. I will reach the next (smaller) goal before the appointment with the oncologist in October.

Last night was hard. My total calories were within the Spark calorie range but higher than I like so I was a tiny bit disappointed. I ate my one meal around 4PM, came in higher than the previous days because I had a sliver of the cherry pie with my meal. RJ had brought the pie for me and wondered why I hadn't eaten any yet

The 6 year old grand stayed overnight. She and RJ brought McDonalds after I had finished my one meal at 4PM. She brought me a fish sandwich. 380 calories. That put me at 1455 calories. My range is 1200-1500.

This morning I was down 2 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning.
There is a theory that doing a feast and famine pattern increases weight loss. I'm not doing any over-indulgent feasting. My pattern has been higher every other day, while still within my calorie range. Perhaps that pattern has helped the 11 pound loss this week.

Last night was tough. I was tired but my brain wouldn't shut down. I read a book. I worked on the computer. I stayed up till 2AM, doing things. I wanted to munch. I knew where I was with calories. I knew I was good on IF. I knew I was on a roll and did not want to break the streak.
My mind even tried that old stinking thinking: It really doesn't matter. What does one bite hurt? I was tired and a bit discouraged, but couldn't sleep. My brain would not shut down.
I did not get up and go to the kitchen. I grumpily told myself I would be glad in the morning if I stayed the course.

When I am in success mode, I still have ups and downs. There are stretches where I am not tempted at all. There are times when I am elated. There are times I grow weary of staying the course. The path is not really that difficult. I have kept the plan simple on purpose. The less rules, the easier to follow.
There are times I want to indulge for no reason. Apathy is a big enemy. I lose focus and it seems pointless. I have been on this journey too long without lasting results.
Losing 77 pounds from May through December 2019 reminds me that I can do this. When people tell me that it gets harder as we age, they may be right. However I will not accept that I must stay at this weight. I am carrying too many pounds. It is not healthy.
May through December is 8 months. That's less than 10 pounds a month so that's a healthy loss. I did that. I can continue that journey. It is not too hard. It is not impossible.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/7/2020 (08:18)



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8/6/20 10:55 A

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Recent weigh-ins
Aug 1 - down 0.4 pounds
Aug 2 - up 0.6 pounds
Aug 3 - down 1.8 pounds
Aug 4 - down 4.8 pounds
Aug 5 - down 1.2 pounds
Aug 6 - down 1.6 pounds
Down 9.2 for August 2020

I'm on a roll. When things are going well, I must be on my guard against becoming lackadaisical. When things start to slow down, stay the same, or even show increases on the scale (as it will at times), that can become apathy if it lasts very long (and sometimes it does). Bodies lose on their own schedule, not according to our dictates. All we can do if make conditions right to encourage pounds and inches to vanish.

40 Pound Challenge, started July 27, 2020. Down 13 pounds since then. It's normal to lose more at the beginning. The normal pattern is to have smaller loses as time goes on.

I am basically doing intermittent fasting and OMAD. It has been two meals a day (or a meal and a fruit snack) on most days. I am getting stronger at making it one meal a day.

I feel in control when I stick with IF and OMAD. It breaks food's power over me. I know, as an adult, that I don't have to eat anything I don't want to eat but there can be an internal war between long-term goals and short term desires. The battle is really in the mind. If the mind gets on board (as it is right now), I make awesome progress, I have to keep a good mindset, one that encourages progress and discourages extra calories. When exceeding the calorie limit becomes the norm, I gain weight. Pure and simple truth.
After having a dynamic end of year (right through the holidays), I gained 25 pounds in the first 6 months of 2020. I could blame it on all the upheaval (the pandemic and protests) but I alone am responsible for what goes in my mouth. Being upset is not an excuse to eat. When times are tough, that's when I need to be my healthiest so I have the internal resources to cope. I do not need weight gain piling another log on the fire of discouragement.

I am in a good place right now. I limit my time on unsocial media because so much of it is polarizing and negative, even hateful, today.

The sun is shining this morning. It's a beautiful Summer day. The grands are coming.
The tree removal people are here again this morning.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/6/2020 (17:58)



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8/5/20 2:19 P

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Sleep, very good. Slept 8:30PM to 1:30AM. Slept again from 5:30AM -9:30AM. Up a few times for the bathroom. 9 hours of sleep.

Exercise. Stepping, front kicks, side kicks, back kicks, walking, up and down stairs. Still need to do shoulder exercises and arm curls.

Nutrition, black hazelnut-flavored coffee, water. Successful IF. I will stay within limit today. Planning on OMAD around 4PM.

Yesterday, lunch was a bagel with cream cheese. Supper was pasta and a fresh tomato. I drank black coffee and water.
Weight was down 1.8 pounds.

Today, supper was an egg sandwich. I drank black coffee and water.
* * * * *

The tree removal service started removing the two big trees today. They will be back tomorrow.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/5/2020 (20:28)



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8/5/20 3:07 A

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Hearing God's voice in emotional eating
soveryblessed.com/hearing-gods-voice-emoti
onal-eating/?fbclid=IwAR1K3q_LYhAjdyNU
3LXW8326DIT68R4E9p6obUNM2l1suKZMnXJbd7B8ba4


10 Bible verses to help you overcome emotional eating
soveryblessed.com/10-bible-verses-to-help-
you-overcome-emotional-eating/







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8/4/20 11:18 A

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Sleep, good. Went to bed early because I was so tired yesterday. Slept 5 hours. Up for a few hours. Slept about 4 more hours. Feeling refreshed.

Exercise done. Stepping, front kicks, back kicks, side kicks, shoulder ROM, shoulder abduction, walking. It's always easiest when I do it first thing in the morning. I will add arm curls later. Primarily target areas are legs and shoulders because of arthritis.

Nutrition. Yesterday was a low calorie day. Intermittent fasting, good. Had muskmelon for lunch, then potato and onion soup for supper. The soup was good on a cold day. I was chilled all day.
No added sugar.

RJ brought my favorite, cherry pie.I will have a piece sometime and add it into my calories for that day.
She also restocked my chocolate nut bars. I put them away. Sometimes it is enough to just know they are there. They are not a trigger for me. I can be happy with a bite, then wrap it up and put it away. I'll save them until I really want a bite of something sweet. I am trying to avoid sugar so they are not a go-to food.
* * * * *

Part of the maple tree came down this week. I have a call in for the tree removal service we used before. I want him to look at a couple of other problem trees in the yard.







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8/3/20 9:35 A

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Recent weigh-ins
July 27 - down 1.4 pounds
July 28 - down 2.6 pounds
July 29 - down 1.2 pounds
July 30 - up 0.8 pounds
July 31 - down 0.8 pounds
Aug 1 - down 0.4 pounds
Aug 2 - up 0.6 pounds
Aug 3 - down 1.8 pounds

Official Spark weigh-in on Friday, July 31 - down 6 pounds

Sleep, a bit piecemeal. 7 hours last night. I will nap and make up for the rest. I had to wake early so I would be ready before the man comes to empty the septic tank this morning. He said if it doesn't rain, he'll be here before noon. Scattered thunderstorms were predicted for this morning, with thunderstorms for the area in the P.M. Sky is sunny right now.

Exercise has been great for awhile. Stepping, front kicks, back kicks, side kicks, shoulder abduction and ROM done. I try to do them within the first half hour after I wake. Stepping is hard for me to do later in the day, and the steps aren't as high when my muscles are tired. It's amazing what I can do when I first wake up.
My legs are getting stronger now that I have gone back to the P.T. leg exercises every morning. I have been able to get into the car by myself, using the leg lifter device for my left leg. Still, it's terrific progress. Once I am sure I can get in consistently by myself, I will start going places on my own. I have to be able to get in even when my muscles are fatigued.

Grands aren't supposed to be here today. That will make a nice break.
I paid bills this morning. Now I need to get caught up on the filing.
RJ is running our errands in the village this morning (post office, pharmacy, etc)..

Goals for today: Intermittent Fasting. Aim for OMAD but twice a day is ok. I am getting closer to being in the right mindset for OMAD.
Arm curls.
Napping.

Sometime I need to get caught up with my Spark friends. Too tired to do it now.


Lighting the Spark. Keep the fire burning.
emoticon

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/3/2020 (14:59)



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8/2/20 11:27 P

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Sleep, good.
Exercise, good.
Nutrition, good until this evening. Had enough calories left for supper. We had pizza. RJ made frosted cupcakes, too. I am over on calories again sigh.

Did intermittent fasting all day. Too many calories for my 2 meals. Not snacking after supper. It's a mixture of success and failure. I will learn from it and try not to repeat it tomorrow.

Had good weight loss last week.




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7/31/20 12:38 P

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I did not eat after supper last night. I thought about it. I even thought about WHAT to eat but I did not get up and go to the kitchen. I drank water. I talked myself into waiting until the morning.
I am rarely ever hungry in the morning. Now it is noon and I still am not hungry. Maybe I can make this a true OMAD day. I am drinking water.

Exercise mostly done though I will probably add to it throughout the day. INDYGIRL calls those exercise snacks. Instead of snacking on food, snack on bits of exercise all day. I did stepping, back kicks, side kicks, shoulder abduction and shoulder ROM (with rope and pulley over the door). Walking is done in spurts all day. I will add arm curls and front kicks.

Plenty of sleep last night. Went to bed at 8:30PM, up at 2AM. Back to bed at 6:40AM, up several times for the restroom, up to stay around 11:45AM. More sleep than I ever get. I was tired. Grands wear me out and upset my routine.

I got up at 2AM because there were things I needed to do earlier but I was too tired. I thought if I went to sleep then at 8:30PM, I would get up in a few hours and catch up. Everything is easier to do when rested.
* * * * *

Yesterday they replayed the same Biden commercial twice on the cooking channel. No mention of all the negative radical-left changes it's been reported that he is saying to get on board with the liberal elites. The commercial sounded so normal, saying all the good things he will do (that Trump has already done). It disturbed me because people who don't do their research will believe it.
I am afraid for our country. A former president used a funeral as a political platform. He has been working to destroy the current president even before he took office. Glad the president has a thick skin. No regular man would have been able to take what he has been put through.
His list of accomplishments is outstanding. Mainstream media will not report that because they want him to fail so their buddies can get back in power. If the media ever took sides in yesteryear, you would not know it. Now it's blatant and in-your-face political. Most reported news is in the form of opinions now. We have to find clips of the whole event to listen to the actual words to understand what really was said. News outlets pull sound bites out of context to twist to their narrative. Yes, the person said the reported words, but no, they did not say that when you hear the whole speech. Reporters seem to have little conscience or regard for truth today.

I want to stay informed. I do not need to be saturated with political opinions. I am normally an upbeat optimistic person. To stay that way, I can separate the news that affects me into things I can do something about and things I can't.

God is sovereign. Commit it to the Lord and let him deal with it. "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." He does not promise us a bed of roses. He will help us through the hard times.

I have to limit my exposure to negative people. Our little sweetheart is easily led, always has been influenced by her friends and the men in her life. Her husband has very different political ideologies than we do so yesterday the 11 year old was parroting things she has heard from him. I answered back and said it was not true. I will avoid this in future. It disturbed my spirit. I like to think there are still good people with common sense left in this world (though we are dying out). The interchange with the grand ruffled the peace in my inner spirit.
That, along with the Biden commercials coming unexpectedly in a cooking show that I was enjoying, pricked my happy-balloon.
We all have opinions. We are not carbon copies of each other. Our differences make up the rich and varied textures of life. Now it has become political, and along with that, hateful and disrespectful. No one listens anymore. They just want to talk and have you listen and agree. Heaven help you if you don't.
Where has common sense gone? Will it come back?
It is encouraging to know that while the millenials may be way out in left field, the next generation is leaning more conservative. Parents should also be wising up to what is happening through most formal education, especially the brainwashing done in higher education. Perhaps homeschooling during this time will help parents demand more of the education system.
* * * * *

When I let the world's problems bring me down, it can affect my eating. Emotional eating. Someone once said, it's not what you are eating so much as what is eating you.
During tough times, I need to be healthier than ever to be strong and cope. When my mind tells me to feel better by eating because it really doesn't matter, that is a lie I must not accommodate. This morning I am glad I did not give in. It wasn't a black-and-white conversation. I just kept working on the project I was working on and did not go get something to eat. It started because I was feeling just a little hungry. That is the whole point of fasting during the night when we should be sleeping. Our body gets ready for another day. I happened to be awake instead of sleeping so I was aware of the empty feeling.

The grands have arrived. Back later.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 8/1/2020 (09:57)



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7/29/20 5:48 P

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I love these Auntie pictures by Inge Look.

Living dangerously. They are walking atop a seawall.

This one is my favorite so far.


I want to be one of these aunties, celebrating and enjoying every day. Laughter and love.
* * * * *

I did grrrrreat today. It's been a good day. *big smile on my face*

Exercise, done. Adding a extra leg and arm exercises as I go. It is inspiring the older grand to move more. Good habit to start at 11 years old.

Sleep. Still not staying in bed all night so sleeping in every morning. No naps. That's where I should be right now instead of on the computer.

Nutrition. OMAD and IF today! Grrrrreat!!! Low on calories. High on vegetables.

I worked on my vision book today. Added pictures and sayings. Drew up the page for the new 40 pound challenge I started. I made 40 circles to enter the weight and date for the losses. Losing 40 pounds will take me below my next HUGE milestone! Happy, happy, happy.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/30/2020 (18:23)



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7/28/20 9:44 P

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Grands were here for awhile today. Their parents stopped by to collect some things they had stored here when they moved to Kentucky years ago, and to get a few other things we had for their new home.

Sleep was good last night.Woke up several times. Got up for a few hours during the night. Slept in this morning. Got enough sleep altogether.

Exercise was more than I usually get in with the grands here. I am feeling stronger since I started consistently doing the leg and shoulder exercises. Won't be much longer until I can be going places by myself (once I know I can get my leg into the car by myself).

Calories are in a good range today, 1267 total calories for the day.
No breakfast (slept late, remember?).
Lighter lunch.
Heavy supper.
Light snack mid-afternoon while grands were here.
Just water and black coffee the rest of the non-eating hours.

Sis is exhausted. I'm concerned about her.
Her pastor stopped by for a few minutes this afternoon. Always good to see him. What a kind, lovely person he is.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/28/2020 (21:45)



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7/28/20 2:06 P

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Some benefits of cucumbers posted by a friend on Facebook July 23, 2020

1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.





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7/28/20 11:58 A

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My weight was down 1.4 pounds when I weighed Monday. My calories were excellent on Sunday!

My weight was down 2.6 pounds this morning. Calories were up ridiculously on Monday! I think what made the weight drop was my activity level on Monday. Besides the regular exercises I do, I also went to the city twice because Sis took her car in for repair, and then picked it up late in the day. I went with her both times to bring her home after drop off and back to pick it up. Also did a few errands. I picked up fast food for supper (which helped elevate my calories for the day, even with only a sandwich and a drink).

Meals are more regular with the grands here. It helps stop snacking. Still consuming too many calories most days...way too many calories. Double and triple what I would like them to be. When I eat three meals a day with the grands, the calories are going to be more than when I successfully eat OMAD or even two meals a day.
Ironically I am getting sleep. I stay up after they go to bed around 10 to do the things I want to do without interruption. I have been closing my door and sleeping in every morning while RJ takes care of the kids.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/28/2020 (21:38)



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7/28/20 11:39 A

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A day without the grands! Since they came on July 18, they have been here most of the time, sometimes even all night. Their parents are back from their trip back to Kentucky to move more of their things here.
I adore them but don't seem to accomplish much when they are here. RJ looks so tired. Most of their care falls on her. She hasn't even been able to do the shopping since they came. She is doing that right now. We have plenty to eat but we need to replace some of the groceries we use more often.


This picture was taken earlier this year in Kentucky.


They love playing in the pool.




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7/23/20 5:29 P

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Better day today. Not perfect, just better. I'm ok with that.

My main meal was a late lunch/early dinner. Later I had a banana. Total calories 1323 for the day.
Tomorrow is official Spark weigh-in day for me. We'll see where I end up. Can't undo what is done earlier this week. Can only move forward. I'm ok with that, too.

Got plenty of sleep today, too.

Love the grands but getting a little granded-out. The 3 year old has been crabby. Took a nap against his will. Woke up crabbier than before he napped.
RJ is watching them play in the pool in the yard right now. She is getting tired. She napped with the kids today. Having the kids arrive shortly after 6AM is just too early.

Sis had to go with their parents, something to do with a rental truck to go get the rest of their stuff from Kentucky. The rental place won't accept their debit card. It has to be a charge card. Cha-ching, $600+.

What a negative-nelly I am becoming! I'm usually an optimistic person. 2020 has knocked me askew.

Time for sunshine and roses and smiles and laughter and love and peace. Where is my inner warrior?







Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/23/2020 (18:24)



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7/23/20 7:38 A

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I am not happy that I crossed a line I never wanted to cross again. The scale shot up this morning. I deserve it. I've been skating with danger for some time. I have now regained 25 pounds this year. I confess I cried this morning.

The little ones are here every day now while their parents work. Occasionally they stay overnight. They are 3, 6, and 11. It is exhausting.
My routine is all off. I am eating too much.

I will stick with intermittent fasting, drinking only water, black coffee, and tea without additives outside my eating window.
I will concentrate on staying within the 1200 calorie limit. If OMAD happens, good. If it doesn't, I will still be glad if I come in close to 1200 calories.

Exercise is good. I do that first thing in the morning.

I will have to let other things go and go to bed earlier at night. I must have more sleep.I must continue to get my legs up at least 8 hours in a 24 hour period to keep the edema in my legs under control. Sitting in the recliner does not seem to reduce the swelling.

The children were here shortly after 6 AM this morning. Last night it was after 8 PM when their folks came to pick them up. Sometimes it's earlier, sometimes later.

I am having a hard time finding me-time, even for my morning quiet time. I will have to shut the bedroom door and let the others watch them at times. The children know they cannot come into my room when the door is shut. The 11 year old loves to come in and talk when she sees I am alone. I know this quiet time together is important for shaping and molding and gently forming growth. It is also exhausting when I am trying to get something done that requires concentration (like paying bills online, writing, planning, etc.) If I am reading while they play, I sit in the recliner in the same room they are in.

Thank goodness there are three of us here to watch them. It falls heavily on RJ. She is the one that stays with them when they play outside or go in the pool. Sis sits outside with them on occasion.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/23/2020 (07:43)



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7/20/20 4:33 P

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I am so proud of myself. This 40 day challenge is moving me in the right direction. I can do this!

Intermittent fasting, good.
OMAD, good
Exercise, good
Sleep, about to have an hour nap. Good for today.






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7/19/20 10:16 A

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A lovely Sunday. The grands will be here today. They are moving closer to home, about 1.5 hours away.

I'm off to a good start on my 40 day journey.
8 hours of sleep. Edema in legs going down.
Morning routine done: shower and dress, weigh, meds, quiet time with God's Word.
Now some Spark time, and then Facebook.

Down 1.6 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. Still over on calories yesterday.

Meals will be hard with the great grands here. I will get creative and stay the course.
Their parents (granddaughter and husband) will be making another trip to their old home in Kentucky to get more of their things. We will have the 3 kids while they do that. Their ages are 3, 7, and 12 now.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/19/2020 (10:32)



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7/18/20 9:02 A

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My usual morning routine after I wake: bathroom, weigh myself and record it. Then the rest may happen in any order: exercise, water & morning meds, quiet time with my Bible and prayer. Then shower and dress. Then cleaning or tidying up after others who have had breakfast if they haven't already washed up.

Once in awhile I deviate when life throws the unexpected at me. Sometimes someone wants or needs something NOW so I help them first. Yesterday was one of those days. Then I have to fit these morning things in during the day. Occasionally I miss some altogether as the day gets busy.

So my morning started off out of routine. That shouldn't affect the rest of the day.

We know that hunger-inducing gherlin kicks in around our usual eating times to remind us to eat. I am not usually hungry in the morning. I prefer to wait till mid-to-late afternoon to eat, especially if I aim for One Meal a Day.
Around 11AM I started feeling a little bit of stomach uneasiness (perhaps hunger). My normal response would be water, black coffee, or tea without additives. Non-caloric beverages are permitted on intermittent fasting. They help us wait until our scheduled eating window. That puts us firmly in control.

I deviated from plan. I ate an asiago bagel with cream cheese and a cup of muskmelon.

When I was hungry at 4 PM, I had some beans and pineapple. That put me exactly where I wanted to be on calories for the day.

Then my brother and his wife stopped by unexpectedly. We had cookies and a beverage.

At 8 PM while we were watching a movie, I had a sandwich.

All week long I've been pushing the envelope. Every morning I've been grateful when the scale showed me mercy I did not deserve. Well, that is the definition of mercy, isn't it?
Today the scale was up 1.4 pounds from what I weighed yesterday. Justice prevailed. I deserved it.

Every morning I wake up planning to have a smashing good day, practicing intermittent fasting and OMAD. When I accomplish that, it's a very good day and makes me feel jubilant.

Today I had not been awake very long when my mind went to the bagels. When I poured my glass of water to take my meds, I saw the bagels. The reasoning part of me said, Are you stupid? Do you want to repeat yesterday? I weighed myself and saw the increase in pounds. It affirmed that I did not want a bagel this morning.
If I want a bagel it will still be there when it's time to eat. It's not NO forever to bagels. Wait until it's time to eat, and then count is as part of the calories, and stop before I go over on calories. Is that too much to ask?

I do best when I can plan my menu for the week. That's very hard when I am not in charge of meals anymore. I control how much I eat. I control what I eat only during the times no one else is cooking. It's not ideal but I can live with that. I have learnt to flex and adjust and stay within my calorie range even when I am not in control of the menu. I can choose what is best for me of the foods that are served. I can avoid foods that do not agree with my plans.

Yesterday exercise was hit and miss. Walking was ok. I did not get to the physical therapy exercises (side kicks, back kicks, front kicks, shoulder range of motion). I am seeing the benefits of those PT exercises when I do them regularly.

I got enough sleep last night. It helped with the edema in my legs. I woke several times and stayed in bed, thinking, until I fell back asleep again. I only got up once during the night, around 3 AM.

How did this week go? What have I learned this week? What personal behavior do I want to do differently next week? What behavior do I want to embrace and carry forward into next week?

The biggest change I am making now is to be more adamant about staying at my healthy calorie level. I've been too soft and flexible.
I am setting myself a 40-day challenge for this.Why 40 days? Because I have 38 pounds to go to my next major milestone goal. It is crazy that I was only 12 pounds from that goal at the end of 2019, and now I am 38 pounds from the same goal. How serious am I about this goal?
I may not lose all of the 38 pounds in the next 40 days. I can only make the conditions conducive to weight loss and let my body do it's thing. My body wants to weigh less. My body wants to be healthy.

I was thinking this morning what a pound of different things looks like.

Multiply that times how much I need to lose. It's unfair that I expect my body to carry around that extra weight. How much more could I accomplish if I could throw off this extra weight? I would feel like a very different person.

My time is now.


Others had set a course and stuck with it and easily lost their weight in less than a year, even when they had phenomenal amount to lose. They stuck with it and did not waiver.
I've got so far off the all-or-nothing train that I now act like "this little bit doesn't matter because I can get right back on track" train. That is stinking thinking as much as believing it's all-or-nothing. I have to start telling myself that every bite matters. Not going back to all-or-nothing way of living, but putting on blinders to all the side distractions and developing tunnel vision to see only the goals I set. What is the point of goals if I don't take strides to reach them? They are reduced to namby-pamby dreams. Wish I could, wish I might, someday... That's crazy thinking. I am in charge. I set the goals. They are not unreasonable. I do not control the time frame. I control making conditions right so my body can reach those goals. Trust the process.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/18/2020 (19:21)



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7/17/20 6:20 P

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Done with my calories for today. Had lunch and supper.
Feeling tired today. Legs are swelling again so I need to get legs up more often. Not getting enough sleep.

Kids are coming Saturday. They are in the process of moving back here from another state. They have a place to stay in a nearby city.
They will leave the three children here while they go back to their current home to finish things up and get the last load ready to move.

I just stumbled into a hornet's nest here. Someone posted a fairly negative post about the virus. I can't believe how many posted a response, mostly negative, fearful, even talking about politicians and telling people how to vote. That's exactly why I won't post any of this stuff I put in my journal into a blog. I probably should go back and delete the journal entries, too.
Maybe I should skip the blogs for now until common sense returns. I don't need to be upset. Left a very bad taste in my mouth about Spark. I'm not ready to take a break from the site because I find most of it very helpful. I want to track. I want to journal. I've been doing less blogs lately. Maybe I need less interaction and just do the things that I can do alone. That makes me feel sad. I have some lovely friends here that I want to keep up with and support. I can't let the negative people spoil it for me. Everyone has an opinion.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/18/2020 (19:22)



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7/17/20 12:30 P

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I have too many books now and no place to store them. I can't find books I want to read because I don't know where I've put them. I have bookcases in most rooms. Bookcases line the hallway. I have books in boxes. I have stacks of books. Some are organized. Some are not. It is incredibly hard to part with old friends.

I am currently re-reading a set of old friends (fiction) by a prolific writer who authored 80+ books in her lifetime. I have several sets by favorite fiction authors, timeless classics to me worth more than one read.
I also have a couple of other books going. There are some books I read a page or two at a time and need time to digest and contemplate. I have several like that on the shelf above my desk.

Today I have been looking for books on different aspects of prayer. I can't find my copies of some of them. Some are books I don't have. I can't go to the library now since it's on lockdown due to the pandemic.

As I was browsing several online sellers (including used books) for the titles I wanted, I realized that some were no charge for the kindle version through my membership. I don't like reading on the kindle. No underlining. No notes in the margins. No easy flipping to sections I want to review again. And sometimes it flips pages and I can't find where I was reading. It randomly changes back and forth from portrait to landscape when I try to read laying down. Still, I can't argue with the price so I may have to accept the kindle for now.


I've had a lifetime love affair with books. I read this as a child and it captured my feelings. It was written by Emily Dickinson.

There is no Frigate like a Book
To take us Lands away
Nor any Coursers like a Page
Of prancing Poetry –
This Traverse may the poorest take
Without oppress of Toll –
How frugal is the Chariot
That bears the Human Soul –

What we can learn from books! The vast world of human knowledge is recorded in books.

It was a spiritual experience to hold a book reverently between my two hands. Sometimes I wished I could take it all in by osmosis. The library and bookstores were my favorite places on earth. (A close second was the old Detroit Tigers stadium. *big smile* ) It was a pipe dream to someday own my own bookstore.

We always had plenty of books at home. During summer break from school, Mom would take us to the library and I would get as many books as my little arms would hold. I went through phases. I remember going through a fairy tale phase about fourth grade. It was mythology in eight grade. It was the philosophers in college. Fiction was for every year. I discovered Mary Stewart in nineth grade. Grace Livingston Hill and Emilie Loring were in there. I read the Erle Stanley Gardner (Perry Mason) books in high school. Thrillers like Robert Ludlum came later. I even admit to a small period of reading Patricia Cornwall until they got too graphic for me. Sue Grafton and Janet Evanovich were a short phase. They were not keepers, books I would read again.
I have self-help books, how-to books, spiritual books, books on history and architecture and house plans and designs, and tons of other subjects. I have more cookbooks than I need. I especially like cookbooks where ordinary people have contributed recipes that they actually use. Some of my most used are the vegetable cookbooks, the fix-it-and-forget it (crockpot) cookbooks, cookie cookbooks, and Taste of Home annual cookbooks.

My mother was a teacher. She worked at a bookstore during one summer break. Dad said it wasn't worth the gas for her to drive there since she bought enough books that it consumed her wages.

Books make me happy. Well, most books excite me. It breaks my heart to see them re-purposed for craft projects. (I put antique furniture in that same category, and cringe every time I see people treating them without the reverence they are due.)

I am quite content to stay at home and spend time with my books.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/17/2020 (17:21)



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7/17/20 12:03 P

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I had such a good day yesterday after I got the rant out of my system. Journaling is therapeutic for me. I don't share political stuff on my page or in blogs because I don't think Spark is the place for things that could be divisive. We all have our own opinions.
We are here to live healthy. While that encompasses the whole person, our focus is more on the thoughts and behaviors related to the physical (and mental where it affects our physical behavior). Some include the spiritual. I have no problem with most of what I see. I will not follow anyone who ventures off into politics in their blogs because I do not want to be brought down every time I come here. This is a safe place of friendship, encouragement and learning.

RJ brought pizza last night. My weight still went down, 0.2 pounds this morning. I am grateful.
That is 0.2 down from what I weighed yesterday morning. It is also 0.2 pounds down from what I weighed last week for my Spark weigh-in.

I have been bouncing around above a major milestone for a very long time. It's been 10 years (2010) since I weighed below that milestone. That is too long.
At the end of last year I only had 12 pounds to go to break through that barrier. Now I have 37 pounds to go to break through that barrier. This is ridiculous.

I got a reprieve when the oncologist moved my appointment from July to October. I let up the pressure on reaching the goal. Stupid choices happened. Weight gain happened. Why? Why do I do this? I should have been jubilant to have extra time and pressed on to make greater progress.

I am doing fairly well with intermittent fasting most of the day. Late nights get a little bizarre with munching. I am recommiting to not eating after supper. No eating after the IF eating window closes. I do it in the morning. I can do it in the evening. It's a mindset.

The second important commitment is to staying at the lower end of my calorie range. I am over the top of my range most of the time now.

So my two focus areas are intermittent fasting and calories.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/17/2020 (13:11)



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7/16/20 12:57 P

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It's been dry here so the rain is welcome. Wake up to a gloomy gray sky. The leaves on the trees are very still.

A granddaughter's friend came by today to help move some furniture and hang pictures. We aren't physically up to doing the things we used to take for granted.

I've been feeling quite well. I've been moving better. I am trying to start each morning with my quiet time and my exercise time. I used to space the exercise throughout the day but I think this works better. I can always add more later if I feel the urge to move again later in the day. That is one thing that happens with OMAD and IF. There is something inside me that wants to get up and move. It's a good feeling.

The physical therapy exercises (front kick, back kick, side kick, and shoulder-range-of-motion) are really beneficial. I am moving better. I think it won't be long before I can lift my leg into the car like a normal person. Then I will be independent to go where ever I want and when ever I want. That has been my goal for the last few years. Sometimes I want to go alone. I don't want to make someone go with me every time I have an appointment, want to go to library, or make a run to the post office or market. My niece has been doing a lot of that running for us. Sis has gone with me to appointments but it's getting harder for her. She's 8 years older than me and has gained weight since Dad died. We both did after we stopped being caregivers eight years ago.

My niece is reluctant to make my regular runs to the library to pick up books I order and online, and then take them back later. She did it for awhile. I need and want to do these kind of things for myself.
I want to take classes for jewelry making or other classes offered in the community. I want to drive myself to church functions and the ladies Bible study group I used to attend. I want to visit friends or go out for coffee without asking someone to go with me to help me into the car. Such a little thing and such a big thing.

2BDYNAMIC included thoughts about being healthy so we can stay independent in one of her recent blogs. Preach it, sister! I understand perferctly well. She is a nurse and has seen that side of it. I've worked at a hospital most of my life, been a caregiver to family members, and now see it for myself in my life. Health is crucial.


It's been a good week. Even though I may occasionally rant, I am quite happy most of the time. Sometimes I feel like Nero fidding when Rome was burning. What can one person do? Shine as bright as we can in our little world. Sometimes we do it without words. There are too many words in today's world. Everyone has an opinion. We all want to be heard. Sometimes we need to listen. Sometimes we need a quiet place.
Can you believe I've been told that if I don't join them in protesting, I'm racist? That silence is violence? I've also been told that only white people have the luxury of turning it all off. Talk about trying to control others! It's ironic that it's white people doing all this talking.
We need to stay informed but we don't need to read everything. I do better to be selective on unsocial media. There is a whole world out there that doesn't care a fig about all the words. I'm doing quite well turning it off. That doesn't mean I'm not concerned. There is a time to speak and a time to be quiet.



Explore the world on your schedule. Don't let anyone dictate and bully you. Find the excitement and joy of new universes. Do what stirs your passion and makes your world beautiful. Take care of your thoughts. Nurture yourself.

When I was a young adult, I had a beautiful poster on the wall of a lighted small sailboat with a famous quote. I found this one online:


Today I choose joy and wholeness and peace and contentment. Is that a luxury or is it a choice? Do I have a choice to live above the insane turmoil? Can I choose my attitude for today? I think I can. We all have that option. Even in our darkest moments, we have the choice of attitude towards our situation.



Here is the quote in context:








Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/16/2020 (22:38)



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7/16/20 12:37 P

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I think I shall scream (at least on the inside) if one more person goes on about wearing face masks. If you are wearing a mask, why should it bother you what everyone else is doing? Typical of today, some people want to control the behavior of everyone else. It's not enough to do what YOU want and go on about your life. It's been creeping on for some time, people not happy unless everyone thinks and acts like they do.
.
The worst is that it's ok to be shoulder-to-shoulder in protests but must social distance for everything else. I have no problem with maintaining a space between me and others when I'm out. No problem with covering my mouth when I cough. No problem with washing my hands.
There are still many places we are not allowed to go here. If we visit the state right next to our, then those places are okay to patronize. Spending our money in another state.

I broke a tooth around March 2 and am still not allowed to go to the dentist. I can't believe how well I am doing, just taking extra care of my mouth. My cleaning appointment was cancelled, too. Guess I really didn't need to be running to the dentist as often as I do?

My appointment with the oncologist was canceled this month. It is rescheduled for October. Should have made it after the election in November, since I seriously suspect most of the scare tactics will lessen after then.

I am not saying the virus is not a serious illness. The reporting on it stinks. The same person is counted as an uptick in the pandemic every time they have another test. Deaths have not gone up. The public was informed that they were counting things as COVID deaths that were not caused by COVID. One thing I saw this week said they have to reduce the count by 2/3 if they went to more accurate reporting. The majority of people who test positive for COVID survive.

There's my rant for today.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/16/2020 (22:37)



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7/14/20 2:07 A

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www.sparkpeople.com/blog/blog.asp?post=lau
ren_drops_80_pounds_with_sparkpeople


Inspiring weight loss story




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7/11/20 10:28 A

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I did good last night. Well, I did bad by staying up way too late (went to bed at 4 AM, fighting sleep, too tired and down to get up and go to bed). But I did good in how I handled it. I came here and wrote and wrote and wrote. I journaled. I blogged.
I was tempted in the early morning hours to eat but I said no. My reasoning that it was no big deal if I ate. Stinking thinking because I was already feeling down because I was over on calories for the day. How does eating a little more turn that around? Stinking thinking.
This morning I feel great because I resisted. I did not give in. I can do this! I know I can because I've done it many times. I do not have to eat every time the thought pops into my head.

I am down 0.4 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. Only 0.4 pounds! What! Hey, I deserve more than that.
No, I don't. Count it a lucky escape, an undeserved mercy, that I still lost weight while being over by more than 500 calories for the day. The mystery of how my body can lose weight when I gave it too much fuel is more than I can understand. I am grateful. Count it as a blessing.
It is also a blessing to feel good this morning because I did not give in last night.

I will be glad in this moment. I will not think about how far I have to go, or how stupid I have been to allow a few pounds to creep back on during the first part of this year. I will celebrate 0.4 pounds that I am not carrying today.






My list for today:
1. Quiet time and meditation - done
2. Filing business papers (carried over from yesterday's list)
3. Exercise - done
4. Cleaning - done






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7/10/20 9:36 P

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This was the first response to the blog I just posted:

KITT52
"I focus on what I did well for the day...and then how can I do even better tomorrow knowing I am human and I will make mistakes.
I try to learn from my mistakes.."

I need to consistently follow this advice. Those darned emotions get in the way and lie to me. When I use the tracker, sometimes it shows that things are not as bad as my feelings would like me to believe. However, there are other times when the tracker backs up my feelings, pointing the accusing finger and confirming that I went over on calories. I hate that feeling of hopelessness.
Lately I have been reminding myself that I CAN DO THIS. I have done it in the past. It is encouraging to look at the weight I lost and kept off, If I did it before, I can do it again. I can do this!

What did I do RIGHT today?
It will not be perfect. What can I learn from my mistakes today?


* * * * *

One of my goals on my Start Page is to write down 3 good things that happened to me today.

1. I did not have to go anywhere today. That's good for me.

Our governor (who is wiser than anyone else) has decided that as of next Monday, anyone caught in a public place without a mask can be fined $500. It is a misdemeanor. If a business serves anyone without a mask, they could have their business license suspended.
What a smart virus. It won't hurt us this weekend, but starting Monday we have to wear a mask.
So I will continue to stay home as much as possible. I have only been out twice since March 2. Once was to the drive-up window at the bank so there was no face-to-face interaction. The other time was for an appointment at the eye doctor. They took my temperature before I entered the building and made sure I had a mask.

I have a surgical mask that is meant for sterile conditions like a surgical unit. It is not effective for protecting me or others from COVID. Someone posted a picture today of that actually printed on the box. The virus is so small it can penetrate woven fabric. The virus can enter around the eyes, too, and the mask does nothing to stop it.
The mask is hot. It is uncomfortable. I have to keep holding the top or bottom away from my face so I can get some air. I get a terrific headache when I wear a mask. Someone did an experiment on Facebook to show why it can cause a headache. Of course Facebook, in their all-knowing unbiased wisdom, slapped a "Partially false" label on it.
Since I will re-use the surgical mask as many times as I need to wear one, it probably renders it germy and even more ineffective. It is not washable.
I have another mask made by a friend that is even hotter and more uncomfortable than the surgical mask. It is washable.

The "resurgence" of the virus appears to be a weaker version, according to some. It is being used for political reasons. It's okay to be part of a mob protesting and rioting. It's not ok to go to a political rally or church. They do not practice social distancing when mobbing. They require social distancing at church and absolutely NO SINGING because that can spread germs. They know they can't control a mob but nice little church people are easier to arrest. Can you hear my frustration? Not saying social distancing is right or wrong. Just asking why are the rules so arbitrary and illogical.
Once the elections are over in November, all of these rules will probably go away.

The statistics are not accurate. A number of medical sources say that have been pressured to list deaths as COVID related when that is not the cause of death. Why would anyone want inflated numbers? What is the motive?

Another problem with the reporting is that they are using raw totals, not total per cent per population. When our deaths are reported as a percentage of the population, we are lower than many countries.
Another important fact that the mainstream media does not say much about is how low the death count is to the total amount of people who have tested positive. That means most people recover. Many do not even have symptoms which makes one question how reliable the tests are.

One factor that has caused higher totals was caused by the states that mandated that nursing homes (who have a high population of weaker elders) would have to take COVID patients. That caused many deaths in their elderly residents. It is a high percentage of the total deaths.

Not downplaying how horrible this disease can be. It's too bad they blocked doctors from prescribing the meds that work because they didn't like that Trump had mentioned it on the news. Our governor even threatened to bring doctors up on charges if they prescribed it, though she has probably walked that back since a medical system in our state put out the widely-accepted recent study that shows that medication is effective when used with an antibiotic.

I do not know personally know anyone that has the virus.

Rant over. I try not to get political on here but hardly anyone reads my journal so it gives the illusion of being private. Not.

What good things happened today? I could list all the bad things that didn't happen, but I'll try to make the last two more positive.

2. I stuck with intermittent fasting today. That is a wonderful improvement. Daily goal of intermittent fasting, score one for today.

3. I stuck with OMAD. Only the evening meal today.

Unfortunately it was too many calories because I didn't stop when approaching full. What went wrong? Thinking that I had to eat enough since I would not be eating again until tomorrow. Now how counter-productive is that? If I am going to think that way, I might as well eat 3 meals a day!

Sis made meatloaf. Not low carb. She put the potatoes over late so they were not done at the same time, so RJ served the meatloaf with a potato salad from the market. I sliced up a whole tomato to eat with my meal.
After I was almost done eating, she said the potatoes were ready. I already ate potato salad. Instead of walking away, I had a potato with seasonings and butter.

I like a sweet at the end of a heavy meal so I usually have one or two grapes. Not this time. I had miniature pieces of chocolate. Then I had a few more. Crikey! So with one meal, I am over on calories!
* * * * *

Something very strange is happening to my taste. We don't eat a lot of meat but I am still a farm girl, growing up on meat, vegetables, and fruit.

The last few years Sis has not liked the smell of cooking meat. I thought it strange but didn't say anything.

Fast forward a couple of years, and now I am have joined her. I like juicy, greasy cheeseburgers. Now I can't countenance the smell of beef cooking, nor do I care for the taste. The burger has to be slathered in condiments and cheese to get it down. I secretly feed pieces (without condiments) to the dog.
Chicken has to be crispy or I have trouble eating it, too. It's not too bad in stir-fries if it's cut into tiny wee pieces.
I still like barbecued meats, covered in yummy messy sauce. Not into dry rub barbecues.

And my favorite, pizza? The soft texture is off-putting. How can this be? I love gooey melted cheese. Even foods I didn't like (cooked cauliflower) is tolerable slathered in melted cheese. Not any more.

Each week I used to select a cheese to try from a special section at the market. Now I don't even like cheese I once loved.

Most fruits and vegetables still taste good. There will always be ones that I have not liked since childhood, like cooked beets and cooked cauliflower and cooked carrots. I like pickled beets and raw cauliflower and carrots.
I like eggplant that is thinly slice, breaded and fried crispy but don't care for it when it's cooked and soggy. I prefer most cooked vegetables to be a little crispy still. Don't like mushy cooked vegetables.
That means I didn't like the mushy texture of ham and bean soup, or pea soup. Since my little Sis (not the sister that lives with me) lives in the South, I have learnt to eat the bean soup over cornbread like a true Southerner. It's rarely on our menu here.

I had two sisters who were "allergic" to chocolate.
Humpf, I am above that. This year I've started to have the same problem Sis has with chocolate if I consume too much in a short period. Of course, you didn't hear that from me and I will never admit it. Intolerance to chocolate? Too shocking to even consider.
I will tell you a secret. I am not crazy about chocolate. Sometimes it tastes chalky. Would I be willing to abstain from chocolate forever? I won't go that far.
They even tell us that chocolate with a higher concentration of cocoa is good for us!
Most of the time I prefer a non-chocolate candy, like a nut bar (not the kind with nougat). I can't keep the KIND brand of nutty bars in the house because I treat them like candy.
I tried Turkish Delight a couple of years ago after reading about it in an English children's book. Good thing we don't have that in our stores! It was quite pleasant.

I prefer salty to sweet. My most regular cravings used to be for crispy/crunchy. Fried crispy as in crab rangoon, egg rolls, fried chicken skin. Not crunchy as in celery or carrots.




Since I can't get in my car and drive by myself anymore, I rarely have access to any of those foods now. It's just as well.

So far now, I will stick with my fruits and vegetables and the occasional fish.

I've gone through periods where nothing sounds or tastes good. I bought a half-size spiral notebook to jot down ideas and paste pictures of dishes to create to tempt me to eat healthy. I have a folder on my computer where I save pictures that people have posted online of healthy dishes they made. I also save some into my Pinterest account.
I used to love to cook and try new recipes. Now they have to be simple because standing too long causes me pain.
I need to do some serious meal planning like I used to do when I was the main cook.

I am trying to mend my ways and go to bed by midnight. Time to sign off for tonight.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/10/2020 (23:59)



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7/10/20 7:45 P

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I moved some of this into a blog tonight. Maybe it will encourage someone
* * * * *

I really need some encouragement tonight.
Sometimes we need to be our cheerleader, so here is a dose of encouragement.

You have all the self-control you need. It is a fruit of the Spirit.






I have been thinking about this lately. I am not howling for the moon or asking the impossible. I just want to be the best version of myself, living my best life for this period in my life.
What does that look like? Healthy. All the other things I want to do depend on this body to do them.









Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/10/2020 (21:17)



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7/9/20 5:27 P

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Something to think about. Post by 1CRAZYDOG
"Why is it that so few people view themselves w/a sense of wonder . . . awe . . . enchantment? It is the result of the socially-induced delusion of “not quite good enough”. Sara Maria




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7/9/20 11:03 A

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SWEETENUFGILL, do I ever understand! It's hard to stay consistent when the world is changing so fast and not for the better.

The craziness of 2020 has affected my peace of mind more than I like.

* * * * *

Food has been creeping in too often. Too many calories every day. At my age and decreased activity level, it does not take many calories to sustain life. Then try to make the calorie level conducive to losing weight, too! I have been doing this enough years that I know where that point is for me. Go over that line will put on pounds every time. Consume too few calories for several days in a row is counter-productive because of weight loss stalls. This is good knowledge that I can work with to achieve success.
The problem is that I haven't been working with it consistently this year. Here we are, seven months into the year, and I have little to show for it. I can blame it on the 2020 craziness we've had to deal with. That is not helpful. The truth is that I alone am responsible for indulging in behavior that derailed the wonderful progress I was making last year. I lost and kept off more than 70 pounds last year. I know how to do this.

The good news is that I haven't regained all that weight. Even though I weigh more than I did on January 1, I am still in a fairly good place. How I HATE having to re-lose pounds already lost!

I just blogged about pre-planning the day to achieve greater success, sharing the video I wrote about in the last entry. Now I need to practice what I preach and do some concrete planning. I always have a mental plan that habit has enforced to a degree, but now I need to spend time writing it down. That will eliminate the extra bites.
I know intermittent fasting works. It eliminates eating outside of my eating window. That can be two meals if that is working better for me now.
I prefer OMAD -one meal a day- but do I want to fight that battle with myself to get back to doing OMAD consistently? Once it's a habit, it's a breeze. It only takes a few days to get my mind to accept it. Can I be tough enough to do that now? This morning I am emotionally ready to follow through. I was up 2+ pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning. This month has been consistently up every morning. I can't continue that.

I know exactly why weight gain is happening.
1. I am eating too often.
2. I am not eating enough clean, whole, unprocessed food.
3. Carbs are high.
4. Added sugars!
5. Night-time munching

By the end of the day, I am not feeling physically well because of this behavior. I tell myself I will not keep doing it.


Here is today's plan:
20 minutes of walking -done
12 side kicks, 12 front kicks, 12 back kicks -done
12 shoulder range of motions with rope and pulley-over-the-door rangemaster
Afternoon nap (to eliminate leg swelling and get more sleep) -done
OMAD meal: tomato soup, grilled cheese sandwich (multigrain bread) - done
Intermittent Fasting. Drink only water, black coffee or tea without additives outside the eating window.
Quiet time. reading the Bible, prayer, meditation. - done
Listen to uplifting music. - done
Limit time on unsocial media.
Finish the book I am reading.
File paperwork (business).
Fill weekly medication dispensers. - done

Work on my vision book.Time for an update.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (16:57)



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7/9/20 4:35 A

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emoticon

Today I am making an exercise plan - I've started and stopped several things since lock-down, and am not doing anything consistently. I am making a plan!

Gill

Time Zone GMT (London) - yes, I'm hours ahead of most of you! Cornwall, UK

"...regardless of the short-term outcome, the very fact of your continuing to struggle is proof of your victory as a human being." Daisaku Ikeda

www.sparkpeople.com/system/howitwork
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7/9/20 3:02 A

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www.facebook.com/saraborgstede/videos/2667
691336779848


Organization is more important than will power for weight loss.
We may need will power for the unexpected. However, if we've set up a plan (for eating, exercise, sleep, or whatever), then we don't have to exercise will power all day long to make these decisions. Following the plan becomes habit. It's exhausting to constantly have to make these decisions all day long. Planning ahead makes it easier.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (03:07)



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6/29/20 9:15 A

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www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivation_ar
ticles.asp?id=604

This link is to a goal setting and tracking article on Spark. I saved it awhile ago. Need to re-read and try to implement some of the tracking ideas for those goals. This is beyond the things I already track on the Nutrition tracker, Exercise tracker, and Other Goals tracker. I might change up the Other Goals trackers with some of the things I have already added there.




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6/28/20 2:23 P

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It's Sunday. We had a hearty family dinner after church.
I am within my calorie range, closer to the bottom. That's what I aim to do. Total calories for today are 1232.
Higher carbs. Rice and corn in the same meal. My Spark carb range is higher than I would choose,150-273. Carbs came in at 127 today.

That's my one meal for today. The rest of the day will be water, black coffee, or tea without additives. Doing good!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/28/2020 (14:27)



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6/25/20 4:43 P

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www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6678286


Insightful blog by A New Chapter. I'm too tired now to take it all in so I'm posting a link to remind me to go back and read it slowly when I'm more alert. It's things she has learned from her seven years on Spark.




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6/24/20 1:40 P

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Dave Ramsey
6/24/20 posted on Facebook
"EVERYONE starts somewhere. Some people even start more than once. Don't compare yourself to people around you. You've got YOUR goals. Focus on those and get to work.
You can do it!"
* * * * *
Dave Ramsey is a financial advisor with a lot of common sense advice that has been so helpful to me over the years.

I have found many of the principles that apply to our finances apply to other areas of our lives. The above statement that his organization posted today is helpful in the area of weight loss and living healthy.
It's okay to start as many times as we need to.
Don't compare our self to others.
Create goals. Focus on them and get to work.
We can do it!

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/24/2020 (13:42)



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6/20/20 12:41 P

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1CRAZYDOG posted this on my page 6 days ago:
Forgive those who may have hurt you. Let go of judgment, criticism and finger pointing. Release the anger. Mimi Gabriel.

This is so important in this time where bullying has now become officially acceptable.
Political correctness is now showing its face, exposing what most of us knew from the beginning. It has always been about bullying and shaming others who think for themselves.




Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/20/2020 (13:00)



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6/20/20 1:09 A

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More time with Tech Support today about a problem with Windows. The computer worked after that. Then tonight it said Failure to update windows so reverting back. Took more than an hour to make the change. Computer has been slow today.

Feeling discouraged. World is getting uglier. My mind doesn't want to shut down when I go to bed. I pray. I finally got back up tonight after 2.5 hours. I did the same thing yesterday. Only being in the bed 3 hours a night is not healthy. I can't change the world. Why can't I let it go? I like to stay informed. I am limiting time spent online. I'm sick about what is happening.

None of this is helping me. Someday we may not have the choice but for now I must keep it from spilling into my personal space. I must make healthier choices.

Reminder to self:
1. Intermittent fasting. Only water, black coffee, or tea without additives outside of the eating window.
2. Stay within calorie range. Aim for 1200.
3. Exercise.
4. Get 8 hours of sleep.
5. Stay centered. Quiet time. Prayer. Verses to remember throughout the day. Rejoice and praise. Sing.
Separate my part from God's part. Run my own life. Let God take care of the rest of the world. He never intended me to carry that kind of load.


Stay positive and motivated.










Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/20/2020 (01:27)



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6/19/20 3:27 A

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Spent hours with the tech support people yesterday because of another hack. This is so frustrating.

Stuck close to intermittent fasting yesterday. Had lunch and supper. Over on calories again. Someone brought pizza for supper. Always puts me over. I have to do one-meal-a-day if I am having pizza. Too many calories, too many carbs.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 7/9/2020 (10:21)



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6/18/20 11:57 A

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Was yesterday successful?
Did I eat less? Yes. Did I stay within my calorie range? No.
Did I have added sugar or sugary foods? Yes but less than before.
Did I exercise? Yes
Did I get adequate sleep? Yes.

Down 3 pounds from what I weighed yesterday morning.
Swelling down in my legs.
Feel lighter and clothes loose.

From my reading this morning:
2 Corinthians 3:18
So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image.

Goals for today
Be a God-light today, reflecting God to a very dark world.
Pray to be more and more like Him.
Eat within calorie range.
Avoid sugar.
Exercise.

Off to a good start.
Quiet time with the Lord.
Ran the vacuum sweeper.
Tried a new recipe.



There is sunshine in my soul today,
More glorious and bright
Than glows in any earthly sky,
For Jesus is my light.

O there’s sunshine, blessed sunshine,
While the peaceful, happy moments roll;
When Jesus shows His smiling face
There is sunshine in my soul.

There is music in my soul today,
A carol to my King;
And Jesus, listening, can hear
The song I cannot sing.

There is springtime in my soul today,
For when the Lord is near
The dove of peace sings in my heart,
The flowers of grace appear.

There is gladness in my soul today,
And hope, and praise, and love,
For blessings which He gives me now,
For joys laid up above.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvgHFJRlU1s




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6/17/20 10:15 A

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Note: I created a blog from today's journal entry. Maybe it will encourage others who are overwhelmed by the ugliness in the world today and help them take a stand to live their best life through it all.


This is posted on my Spark page. Usually it makes me smile because this is MY journey and I am happy with what I am doing.
It gave me pause when I saw it this morning, and made me feel a little sad. The choices I have made recently do not make me happy.

When I follow my plan I am strong. When I am strong, I am happy.
When I embrace off-plan behavior day after day, I leave my strong place. That makes me unhappy.

Being off-plan does not make me feel good. Gaining weight does not make me feel good. Feeling bloaty from overeating does not make me feel good. Getting inadequate sleep does not make me feel good. Weight re-gain affects mobility.

Thinking "this little bit of off-plan behavior doesn't matter" leads to more off-plan behavior. My mind says giving in to the moment is no big deal because I can always get right back on track. It's not an all-or-nothing journey. Soon the off-plan behavior has become the norm. Still no big deal because I can get back on track anytime...so my brain says.

Well, here is a message to Brain:
Right now is that back-on-track moment. I am worth more than this. I can't control the ugliness in the world right now, but I can control my reaction. Going off-plan does not make the world a better place, especially MY world.

I am stronger than this. I deserve better than this.

It only takes a couple of days on-plan to move back into that strong place.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/17/2020 (18:57)



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6/11/20 10:16 A

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Bright sunny morning. Sunshine in my soul.






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6/10/20 3:33 P

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Storms predicted for today with possible hail or tornadoes from noon-9PM for this section of the country. I've watched the wind in the trees all day. It's humid outside. Neighbor's grandkids are in their pool.

Sis is sleeping off and on, fatigued. I asked if she would go to the doctor. No, she will wait till her scheduled appointment. I think it's next week.

It's been hard to handle everything that's going on. Last night God brought this verse to my attention. Exodus 14:14 It resonates with truth and soothes my spirit.


This morning during my quiet time, this verse came to my attention. Isaiah 12:2

* * * * *

Weight was down 3 pounds this morning. I had two meals yesterday, around 1000 calories.
So far today I've had one meal. We will see how the day goes.
Not snacking. No sugary foods.

Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/10/2020 (15:41)



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6/9/20 5:38 P

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I've had lunch and dinner. I felt like I blew it. Just shows we can't rely on feelings. My calories are on the low side, only 666 calories for the day.

My stomach is still tore up...which means I am not in a place of peace and strength yet. I will get there. I always do. :)
Some stress makes me want to eat. Health crisis of those dearest to me pushes me into gut issues and lack of appetite.
It's always the things that I can do nothing about that are the hardest. I want to fix things. Maybe that is part of the lesson God is teaching me. I've had to learn to break things down into "my part" and "God's part." I even do that in good times. I used to worry about his part. Of course, I didn't see that clearly then like I do now. I can trust God to do His part. He doesn't always see it like I do. He says His ways are not our ways, and His thoughts are not our thoughts. He has a different sense of timing than we do. I want it resolved now. That's not how He works.
I have learned to take things to Him and wait. Don't tell Him what to do because He has options we don't even know about.


During the night as I prayed, I felt God's arms cradling me and fell into a blessed sleep. He holds us in His arms. He is closer than we realize.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/10/2020 (01:26)



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6/9/20 10:24 A

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From my reading this morning:

Hebrew 12:26-28
When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain.
Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.

Hebrew 13:5-6
Don’t love money; be satisfied with what you have. For God has said,
“I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”
So we can say with confidence,
“The LORD is my helper,
so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?”

I love this reminder that God's kingdom is unshakeable.

I watched the video this week of the earthquake that moved a section of Norway with 8 houses on it, slowly slide and move off into the sea with all the houses. No one was injured. One dog was on the land that slid and he swam ashore. How horrible to have your little community swept away along with your house just like that. Did they know it was coming? Did they have time to remove valued possessions? Is that why no people were there when it moved? The video didn't give us a lot of details. I may google that later...or not.

Lately there has been enough horrifying things happening in our part of the world that threatens my inner peace. People are unkind and bent on making trouble. There is a constant barrage of unkind words exchanged in this country. People are destroying this country that I love. There is violence and promise of more violence. There is a lot of unnecessary drama.

On top of all the chaos in the world, Sis has not been well since Sunday evening.
I have been through this so many times over the years with my grandmother, then my mom, and later my dad. I went through times of struggle and growth in faith, praying, second-guessing myself over their care, wondering what else I should do. Uncertainty makes it hard. It is a heavy weight.
"This, too, shall pass," and it did. I miss them dreadfully. Grief still arrives like an unexpected wave when least expected. There are more hours filled with sunshine as I cherish the memories of our life together. I look forward to being with them again.

Now Sis and I are the older generation. We know we will spend eternity with the Lord so that is a wonderful confidence we have.
Illness brings uncertainty about what to do. Her lungs are compromised from the kind of work she did for years. She is prone to pneumonia. In the last few years, she has been in an ongoing struggle with kidney stones. The last time she was so full of stones that her kidney was shutting down. She has had multiple procedures, and she follows up with a kidney doctor. Her last visit with him was online during the pandemic.

Today I will remember this:
For God has said,
“I will never fail you.
I will never abandon you.”
So we can say with confidence,
“The LORD is my helper,
so I will have no fear."


* * * * *

My weight has been hovering in the same area this month. Up and down. Calories have been ridiculous most days. I log everything and have a personal record but won't be sharing the calories today.

June 1 - up 2.8 pounds
June 2 - down 3.2
June 3 - down 0.8
June 4 - up 1.2
June 5 - up 0.2
June 6 - down 1.6
June 7 - up 3.2
June 8 - down 2
June 9 - up 0.4

I am up 0.2 for the month.

I did good yesterday, no sweets.
Could have done better on calories 1869. Spark puts my limit at 2200, but that is too high, so I keep it at 1200-1500.
Not so good on carbs: 238, yikes! Spark has my carb range as 150-273, so I am good with Spark. I prefer to come in under 100.

Monday breakfast: 1 multigrain toast and black coffee
Lunch: Grapes, homemade macaroni and chicken salad. I made chicken salad (canned chicken mixed with mayo) and added it to leftover plain macaroni.
Dinner: 2 sloppy joes
Snack: popcorn, black coffee

Had extra exercise with all the cleaning I did in the morning.
* * * * *

It's a new day. The sun is shining. I've showered, washed my hair, and dressed. Morning meds and drinking water. Had quiet time with the Lord, reading His word, praying, meditating. Visiting Spark and drinking black coffee.

Sis said she feels a little better this morning. She is still having shortness of breath. Feels like someone has punched her in the midsection. She been so fatigued lately. She slept more yesterday and through the night.


Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/9/2020 (16:33)



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6/8/20 8:50 A

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Storing this info here so I can find it. How to add team bonus points.

www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_
individual.asp?blog_id=6679090





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6/8/20 7:20 A

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I wish you peace and success today - and everyday. Thank you for expressing your thoughts so beautifully. I agree. It's a sad and worrisome time.

I'm so sorry the crowd mentality has hurt you in the past and caused you to change your behavior. I understand completely. It may not matter - but know you are not alone in your feelings. I empathize with you.

But - you have a great attitude. You know what to do. On to the best today! All my best to you. Deb

Deb
Changing my life 1 step at a time.


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6/8/20 7:00 A

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It's early Monday morning. The birds have been into their pre-dawn song since I awoke. The sun is now starting to make a rosy glow on the eastern horizon, bits of orange appearing through the dark canopy of leaves outside my window.

When I was in the kitchen filling my water glass this morning, my mind jumped to the available options of something to eat. I am not usually hungry in the morning. Once the door to indiscriminate eating has been opened, these thoughts can occur anytime during the 24 hours.
Gherlin works by reminding us to eat at our usual eating times by signaling hunger. When I have been on track for a couple days, it doesn't remind me to eat until afternoon. Now that I've eaten willy-nilly for a few days, it's confused and sending out signals at odd times.

My heart is still heavy. I don't want the concerns of yesterday to spill over into this day. I must let go of the things that are outside of my control.














Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/8/2020 (07:21)



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6/7/20 9:33 P

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My heart is very heavy. Why are people mean while they claim to be doing good? Where did free choice to make our own decisions go? Why are so many being manipulated and in turn, trying to manipulate others? There is very little respect or kindness nowadays. They call others by names that don't make logical sense. The people who urge tolerance and inclusion are some of the most intolerant and exclusive people I have ever met. They preach tolerance and kindness, but only if you are on "their side" and agree with them. If you choose to live in peace and be nonconfrontational, they condemn you for your choice. They want to attack any who are not in "their group." Yes, they are making a difference but not what they think. They are being used. "There is none so blind as those who will not see." They are at a different level of common sense and reason. Some of us have lived long enough to know this does not end well.

There are some people who have given themselves over to evil, to cause chaos and destruction. They don't care who they hurt. People's lives are being destroyed.The world has become a very harsh place.

Today it just feels a little too much. There is too much going on that I won't share here. I need to limit my time on unsocial media. What once was fun now causes pain.



When the violent protests happened in the 1960-70s, my young mind came to the awareness that it is easy to destroy something in a heartbeat. It takes more effort and time and goodness to create something. Oh the joy and satisfaction of being productive and creative and seeing something we have made.
And oh the heartbreaking pain to see others carelessly destroy what has been created.

So my days are very up and down. I think I have moved on, and then here comes another wave. It's hard to care about my health enough to stay on track. During the tough times we need to be even more focused on being healthy so we can handle the difficulties.

* * * * * *

I received an email here on Spark to join a group commited to losing 25 pounds. I like those kinds of challenges. It makes me sad to know I can't do that. I wrote about this in another entry here. If only everyone would wish every single team member susccess. When I succeed, it does not negate your success. Some people (even on Spark) can be unkind to people who succeed. Jealousy? Perhaps.
As I said in the earlier post, I was in a team competition here and frequently came in with the best numbers all week. I worked very hard. I stayed the course. Naive of me to think my whole team would be happy. Instead someone suggested that I should step back and let others win (each week). Wow. I was shocked. Unfortunately I took it to heart, went quiet on the team, backed down and never got the momentum back like that again. I lost those good habits. WHY would I let someone else determine my outcome? Stepping back from the team did not mean I had to give up my healthy lifestyle that I was enjoying.

Since then, I've been saddened many times over the years to usually be left behind while others went on to maintenance. Even with the sadness my yo-yo behavior causes me, I would NEVER wish anyone else to be anything but successful. I want us all to win. No one left behind!
* * * * * *

A health coach asked us to post a question for her. She would pick five questions to answer on the public forum. Someone asked about saggy skin when the coach had lost her weight, and she answered that. I asked about being consistent because I struggle with that. I can have a great three weeks, then destroy it all in a less than a week off plan. That's why I am still at the same place this year that I've been since December. Lose, regain. Really.
When I asked the question, I already knew the answer lies in having a sustainable plan (keep it simple) and stay focused. Apathy is the elephant in the room. How can I stay motivated and focused for weeks, then drift into apathy?
Here are my answers. Habit helps me stay the course. Habits keeps me from even considering other behavior. So what is happening that lets my mind deviate from habit? If we let our mind think there are other options (or that this one meal or one day isn't going to really matter), that is the beginning.
We all have that 2 second window when we can say no before giving in to bad behavior. We give in because we WANT to indulge.
When our habits are firmly in place, they govern our behavior and we don't have to say NO because this doesn't even come up as a choice.
Now this not to be confused with all-or-nothing thinking. The answer to that is to pick yourself right back up, forget any "errors", and on track again. Don't try to compensate. Just move on.
So what is happening that makes me question if I can do something I haven't even thought of doing in months?
Where does apathy come from? Within ourselves. We grow tired of the long grind (which is why it is so important to keep it simple and sustainable). Things in our lives can overwhelm us and sap the energy we need to live healthy. We may be physically tired and at a low point.
Motivation is a fickle fellow. We have to realize what is happening and refuel the motivation by doing what works for us. I've written about that recently, and may have posted it in a blog, too. We have to find success within ourselves.

Eating healthy makes me FEEL good. Staying under the top of my calorie limit makes me feel virtuous. Moving in a healthy direction makes me feel like I can handle anything in life.
Losing weight makes me feel good. Looser clothing makes me feel good. Better mobility makes me feel wonderful. Even weighing on the scale becomes a moment of pleasure and reward when you have reasonable expectations. The scale is a tool for our use.

So why would I choose to indulge, go over on calories, forsake my feel-good eating plan?

Today I went back on the web site and deleted my question to the coach. I tend to do that, second guessing myself, feeling vulnerable. She had not answered my question so maybe mine was not one of the five she chose to answer. I will never know because I deleted it.



And now, here's a dose of encouragement that I need tonight:









Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/9/2020 (16:54)



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6/6/20 11:32 A

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The kids are coming by in a little bit to help with the outside work. We are nervous about him cleaning the gutters. We had gutter guards installed when we replaced the siding on the house, but the "helicopters" from the Maple trees get stuck in the grating. After it sits there for awhile beaten by the weather and wind, the lighter part dries up and breaks off, letting the seed part drop into the gutter. We probably need to replace the guards with something finer that won't let the helicopters get stuck there. Another expense, sigh.

RJ made sloppy joes for lunch. She tried a new recipe I saw online for a creamy corn salad. It was awful. We discovered that we do not like fresh cilantro. It permeates the whole dish.




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6/5/20 9:42 P

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I haven't watched a steady stream of news snippets today. I've stayed off unsocial media most of the day. I am in a much better place than I was earlier. My real world is a kinder place.


I've logged everything on Spark. It's been a smashingly successful day. Kept the calories down.
Now it will be off to bed soon. I am very tired.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/5/2020 (21:59)



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6/5/20 2:51 P

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Warning: This is more political than I usually post. I don't like political posts on Spark. That's not what this community is about. However, the things that are unfolding this week are affecting all of us. It is affecting our efforts to lose weight and live healthy. I will probably come back and delete this later. For now, I am writing it because it explains the inner turmoil that is making it so difficult to stick with my plan this week. I feel so crushed in my spirit. While this is not a private journal, few people wander over here, so I use it to work through the things that are affecting my journey to better health.

It has been a difficult week. The unrest has spilled over into our quiet community. It is ripping communities apart. People have become vocal in stating that if you don't agree with them on political issues, then YOU are the enemy.
If you don't want to be part of a mob that can turn violent in a heartbeat, then you are labeled racist. They are bullies, trying to cause as much pain and disruption as possible.

Google says that "Politically Incorrect was an American late-night, half-hour political talk show hosted by Bill Maher that aired from 1993 to 2002. It premiered on Comedy Central in 1993, before moving to ABC in January 1997. ... The show first originated from New York City, but soon moved to Los Angeles."
Isn't that interesting that it started on a comedy channel? However, it's really not funny. It made me uneasy.

"Political correctness" tries to control what everyone else thinks and says, and you will be publicly shamed into silence if you don't. Have you ever wondered how they became the arbitrators of what is correct?

The news media and others were stunned at the outcome of the last presidential election. They live in their "politically correct" bubble, seeing the world through their rose-colored glasses, and couldn't comprehend that there were actually many people who didn't agree with them.

They are the vocal ones. Most of my life it was considered dishonorable for a news personality to state their opinion. It was a badge of honor to factually report the news. Then we started having commentators interpreting the news after every State of the Union speech or other political happening, like we didn't hear and see the same thing they just televised.

The politically correct police now control most of the media and what is taught in schools. They proclaim tolerance while acting out intolerance. If you don't agree with them, they borrow a page from Saul Alinsky's book and resort to name-calling (racist, fascist, deplorable) or telling women they aren't women if they don't vote for women candidates. What kind of logic is that? People are struggling to know the difference between opinion and fact. If you say anything long enough, some will believe it. Many of the younger generation believe that if it's reported in the news, it must be true.

The people who are cleverly indoctrinating the young are re-writing history to serve their purposes.
There are some advantages to living as long as I have. We have seen history unfold. We can detect a false and manipulative narrative a little easier than the young.

On a side note, do you know how bizarre that is to tell people who fought Hitler in WWII that they are fascists? What a slap in the face.

Even the word has changed meaning. Look up fascism in a dictionary published before 2016 and compare it to a current dictionary. They have changed the meaning of the word. People who did not live through WWII or with people who lived then, do not notice the sneaky change.

Dictionaries change their definitions to include popular usage. The experts at the dictionary that decide to include these changes are not wrong. They have done this for many years. Look at words like cool (which means more than something cold) or neat (which means cool, not just tidy or precise or straight).
Each generation chooses words they use differently in popular culture. This has been going on forever.
Some of my old time favorites that I like to throw out there to give people pause are: the cat's pajamas, the cat's meow, the bee's knees. No, that was not MY generation. We came up with groovy, and don't lose your cool, and hip. Talk about a different meaning for hip. We are no longer talking about a body joint.


Two sayings come to mind a lot these days:

"There are none so blind as they who will not see."

"A man convinced against his will,
is of the same opinion still."

Your bullying tactics may shame people into silence, but you've accomplished nothing constructive. You have closed the door to respect and honest discussion.

This was posted on FB by an acquaintance on June 4, 2020. "I left social media for a while but after coming back on tonight I have realized it is nothing I want to be a part of. The media has divided this country and so many are just gullible. For 10 weeks we were locked up because of a virus. Now people are allowed to march by the thousands with no problems. If people want to believe everything the media tells them then that's on them. Social media is an absolute cancer."

One of his friends posted this response, "I’ve tried to have decent, intelligent conversations regarding the virus or the riots and either get freaked on or ignored. Social media was a great idea, but ended up amplifying the worst qualities in most people."

Perhaps we should call it unsocial media?







So with all this turmoil, am I staying the course with the goals I set for June? I am trying. I really am.

1. Intermittent Fasting. It's a mixed bag. Some success. There are more times that I have not stuck with it. However, it's a flexible plan. The eating window can suit my needs. I personally choose to log calories. So staying within that range, I can have lunch and dinner. It may be lunch and a snack.
IF is not OMAD. I do best on one-meal-a-day. Sometimes I don't have the energy and stamina and motivation to stick with that. I AM motivated to lose weight. I never lose that desire. There are too many times I eat more than one meal for no easily explainable reason. I may be done for the day, then someone else eats in front of me. My brain thinks that a snack won't hurt since I still have calories. Am I hungry? Probably not.
The worst is when I have made something to eat and think I am done for the day. Then someone makes a family meal and tells us it's ready. Ummm.... I already ate? I am done for the day? I am not hungry?
Nowadays, I even ask if anyone is planning to make lunch or dinner before I make my own meal. That doesn't always work.
The problem is me. Once I make up my mind, I stay the course more often than not. If I am changing course frequently and caving to unplanned eating opportunities, the lack of commitment is in my head.
I am flexible. I am not going to belabor this too much as long as I continue to lose weight and inches. When the scale shows a yo-yo trend with no overall progress, then it's time to become a little less flexible.
I am at that point. At the beginning of December, I only had 12 pounds to reach the next HUGE milestone. It's a really big one. A century marker. I made a fun count-down in my vision book in December. I was going to crush that goal.
Here we are in June, and I now have 24 pounds to go to reach that same goal. This is not progress.
Regardless of what is going on in the world at large or in my little world, I have to get laser focused on this goal and just do it. I cannot let everything distract me.
Can I resurrect the joy and excitement I felt over the 12 pound countdown in December? Can I get excited about a 24 pound countdown to stay focused? Yes, I can.

2. Stay under 1400 calories. I CAN do this. I already know I can because I have done that many times. I will turn that into I WILL do this...every day. Every single day. Can I commit to that for the next 25 days until the end of June (and beyond)? Yes. I can do it today. And tomorrow. And the next week. Yes, I will.

3. No added sugar. This has nothing to do with staying within 1400 calories because of course, I can eat sugary foods and still stay within the range. This has to do with a choice not to eat added sugar. It makes my joints hurt. It causes liver problems. I need to do this for my health. That doesn't mean I will never eat a sweet treat again. It should not be an every day option.
I am so strong in this area for weeks. As soon as I open that door, it then makes it an option all the time. I want to move away from that kind of thinking.

4. Adequate healthy sleep. I am doing better but still have a ways to go to make this a consistent habit...especially when the craziness in the world won't let my brain shut down when I am in bed.
Corrie ten Boom said, “Worrying is carrying tomorrow's load with today's strength- carrying two days at once. It is moving into tomorrow ahead of time. Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”

I take care of my mental health. My quiet time gives me strength. I pray and must leave the rest to God. I cannot do his part. It is too heavy and I am not equipped to handle it.
It is good to stay informed of world events. But I do not need to know all the ignorant or stupid things that I have no control over. I don't need to know who said what to who on social media. I can skip your posts on social media without saying one word of dissension or causing division. What Hollywood does and says has nothing to do with reality. What sports stars say and do is not my world. Burning and destroying our area affects me. Worrying about it does not change anything. At some point, I have to turn it off. I can say and do what I can, and shine my light as brightly and kindly as I can. I can continue to be nice to others, even when I don't agree.
I can limit my time on the computer. I can read uplifting things in the evening. As Philippians 4:8 in the Bible tells us, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things."
I can quiet my heart and thoughts before bed time so that I can sleep well.

I can also be consistent in going to bed around the same time.

5. Exercise. When I was younger and the gym was still open, I used to love to go the gym after supper. There was something so soothing to end my workout with a long, quiet, even meditative time on the treadmill that faced the window. I could watch the cars move past in the dark night. I could see the gas station on the corner, and McDonalds. I could see the cars going in and out of the Kroger parking lot across the street. I've always liked city lights against a dark sky.
Living in the country I don't see that anymore. I enjoyed the evenings at the gym, ending the evening with an hour walk on the treadmill, watching the lights against the dark sky. Sometimes rainy. Sometimes snowy. Always beautiful.

The gym is gone. I am decades older now and don't move so well. I break up my exercise throughout the day. I may do some back kicks or side kicks while I wait for the coffee to warm in the microwave. I can use the Rangemaster pulley system to exercise my shoulder, doing one set of 12 at a time. I can walk in smaller segments, and get my 20 minutes in each day. I can use the weights to do arm curls while at the desk. None of it constitutes a strenuous cardio exercise because I have to do it at my speed. It still counts as movement, deliberate and controlled.

I am making progress toward my 5 goals.
* * * * *

Yesterday afternoon Sis went with me to run errands. Our state is still not open. Everything I did was from the car at drive-up windows, or when I called ahead, the person came out to the car (with their mask on) and picked up what I was dropping off. I have not been away from the house since March 2.

I need help getting my leg into the car. Yesterday I used the blue leg-lifter and managed to get my leg in the car without aid. I was so proud of myself.
I have done that before, getting in the car with the leg-lifter at one stop. Then bursting into tears at the next place I stopped when I didn't have the strength to lift my leg so Sis had to get out and help push my foot into the car. It makes me feel so helpless. I tell myself it will get easier as I lose weight. Maybe, maybe not, but it gives me hope. One more reason to stay the course. I have to do what I can for myself.
I am driving now whenever I go out. I started doing that last year. Someday I will be able to go all by myself (when I conquer lifting my leg into the car). Freedom! Independence. To go to town when I want. To go to the library by myself. To do the grocery shopping. To go to church.
I have a ways to go. I am working on it.



Edited by: ANNIESADVENTURE at: 6/7/2020 (02:57)



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