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ESMERELDA12 SparkPoints: (31,434)
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3/7/20 8:50 P

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Hang in there!



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3/4/20 4:14 A



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WICKEDKISSES - I totally agree with ARCH - not all Churches are judgemental. Some truly are there for everybody. I knew a person who was not heterosexual, often cutting herself, and very difficult to work with. The Church never turned their back on her, and in fact, took her in to live with them while she sorted herself out ... not to convert her.



Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 3/5/2020 (06:53)
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3/2/20 9:11 A



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To those of you who are suggesting the church:
1. I am not Christian.
2. I am not heterosexual
3. I don't fit in any box the local churches understand.
4. Neither do my hosts.


WICKEDKISSES, not all churches will try to convert you, demonize you or sermonize. There are church or temple going members who just want to help out those in need as best they can regardless of any personal preferences.

My local churches have signs out that say when they will be serving a free hot meal or maybe coffee and pastry. Also, there are churches that specifically say everyone is welcome. Those churches may fly a rainbow flag to prove it.

If reaching out to a church feels uncomfortable, I would check the website of the nearest large town or city to see what they offer for services. I pay taxes. We all do and some of those tax dollars are supposed to be earmarked for these types of programs.

Also, are you near a library ? a good librarian can help you find local programs that you can sign up for aid/assistance or maybe free classes to learn a new job skill.

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 3/2/2020 (09:19)
LININPARADISE7's Photo LININPARADISE7 Posts: 1,196
3/2/20 7:25 A

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Sorry you are in dire straits. I hope your situation improves soon.


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3/2/20 6:17 A

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I am sorry to hear you feel you can't reach out to the church because you are homosexual. The church, if truly following Jesus' command to show His love, should be available to anyone for help.

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
3/1/20 5:39 A

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With rents just starting at $600 pretty much everywhere, and the ridiculous requirements for income, I have been trying to find a shared apartment with my roomie/bestie. Once I turn 62, I'm cashing in on my ex-husband's retirement. Love her very much, but we cannot sleep in the same room at the same time. (We both have PTSD and nightmares.) One of the stupid requirements for a lot of the places is that we each have to bring in 3x the rent in incomes. Even a rickety little mobile home is $600!

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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3/1/20 4:19 A



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Is there any way that you could live in a share situation in another area/town? One that DOES give you access to a few more services ... i.e. Social Worker and near-by public transport.Perhaps you may be able to do an on-line search. However, I DO understand that it isn't always desirable to go into a share situation with people you don't know.

Kris

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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/29/20 11:10 A

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Actually, I'll be 62 this month. The P.O. box is rather pointless, as that would require that I go there to pick it up...
1. I neither drive nor have a car.
2. The public transit here is very unreliable.
3. I'm not able to walk to the bus stop.
4. The lateness of the mail is a problem that I have always had in this town.
5. While my hosts are very sweet, they have problems of their own.

I could go on, I could just leave and try to make my way into an even more precarious situation. This town is tiny, and nowhere. There isn't even a homeless shelter. The nearest social worker is an all day bus ride, providing I can afford it.

To those of you who are suggesting the church:
1. I am not Christian.
2. I am not heterosexual
3. I don't fit in any box the local churches understand.
4. Neither do my hosts.
Thanks anyway.

Edited by: WICKEDKISSES at: 2/29/2020 (15:58)
In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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2/29/20 7:49 A

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It's great you are waiting for Section 8. What other steps are you taking? Are you able to get a case worker or advocate through your county? Can you get food benefits?

I know money is tight but could you maybe set up a small PO Box at your local post office to ensure you are getting important mail more timely?

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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MTEREZA's Photo MTEREZA Posts: 632
2/28/20 10:50 A

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Is there and Agency Office on Aging that could help? Most or all counties have them.

"Mental toughness at the point of attack."

1/21/2020 had Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy weight loss surgery.

Mary from Ohio


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LININPARADISE7's Photo LININPARADISE7 Posts: 1,196
2/28/20 7:59 A

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I am so sorry you are in this situation. I live where the community pretty much takes good care of their seniors, but I don't think you are old enough to benefit from services for the elderly.

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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/28/20 5:29 A

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I've been on the Section 8 waitlist and renew every chance I get, for everywhere I can. One of the problems is that while I receive my mail here, it's often late. Hoping the new financial year brings more help for those in my situation.

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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2/27/20 6:14 A

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Wow. I am sorry your plight continues. Have you contacted your county or parrish for help? There may be programs out there, especially if you are on SSI.

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/27/20 4:54 A

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Sadly, there are none listed in my area.

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/27/20 4:45 A

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The main problem I'm having is hiding from their trailer park manager... for some reason he has issues with houseguests... add to that the "food desert" we live in. I buy most of my own food, but it has to be canned or dry, I even bought a distillation machine for my water, cuz the tap water here is toxic. Trying to do everything I can to help. I am planning on checking out the site.

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/27/20 4:38 A

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Currently receiving SSI

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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2/21/20 1:08 P

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My heart goes out to you. I am not sure what I would do in the same situation but one reader suggested baby steps. This is how I am succeeding.
I have troubles walking due to a few issues with my feet and legs. This was very discouraging to me and I would let that stop me from walking (which I very much enjoy). I found out that by walking at a slower pace walking did not irritate my feet and shins and in fact made them feel better. I am getting faster slowly, but getting faster without pain. This helps me to keep going.
My point is that start out small and grow. It is more rewarding to be successful than it is to fail.





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2/18/20 2:16 P

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ESMERELDA12 SparkPoints: (31,434)
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2/15/20 9:27 P

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So sorry for your troubles! I'm glad you're lucky enough to have such good friends, but I know it must be hard. The social worker suggestion sounds great. Do you think you might be eligible for disability? That might help you get some housing assistance as well. Try to take care of yourself and keep us posted.



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2/15/20 4:27 P



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WICKEDKISSES,

I know things may seem difficult, but you do have friends who support you. Kris has given you some really great advice. I don't know where you are, but there are state programs to help those who are homeless.

Have you checked out any of the free programs your state or local community offers? Try this website. It's called Continuum of Care (C o C) Homeless Assistance Program. There should be information that can help you.

www.benefits.gov/benefit/5889

Also, are you a military veteran ? There is also assistance for homeless veterans.

As far as logging what you eat, the simplest thing you can do is to write down what you eat. Before the computer came along, people used a notebook to track what they ate. Writing things out is a great visual aid.

Mostly, don't beat yourself up if you're eating what your friends are eating. If they serve veggies with their meals, eat more veggies and maybe a little less meat. And it may seem odd, but people can find healthy food at the Dollar Store. Think cans of veggies. I've found frozen veggies as well as cans of tuna. There's a lot a person can do with a can of tuna or sardines. I eat sardines. They are a very inexpensive and nutritious snack/meal.

Can you walk without any pain ? if you can walk for 10 minutes, that's all you have to do to start. Set a goal to take a 10 minute walk around the neighborhood. No one says you have to walk for 30 minutes. Three 10 minute walks spread out through the day still adds up to 30 minutes.

And if walking is difficult, do some chair exercises. Coach Nicole has a bunch of short 10-15 minute workouts that can be done while sitting in a chair. you can find more on youtube.

You learn to take baby steps, literally and figuratively. If you need more support, the Spark community is here for you.


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2/15/20 7:21 A

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Kris always has helpful advice. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. I hope some of her ideas help.

I am glad you are able to stay with friends. Is there a way you can talk with them about things you can do to help to feel like a less of a burdan? Can you help plan meals and cook if you have the energy?

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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2/15/20 5:12 A



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My sister has had a similar thing ... not from her GP but from a consultant in the hospital when she was an in-patient. She has very bad arthritis in her hip - there is no cartilage at all - it is bone on bone. It is extremely painful. She also has bad lymphodema in her legs - they are constantly leaking, getting a cup full off fluid off each leg in a day. They are also very painful, resulting in her having to use morphine based medication at times. The District Nurses are coming every second day to dress them and have been for quite some time. She is on antibiotics more often than she isn't. She has been told she has to keep her feet elevated above her heart, and they provided her with a hospital bed. But this one dip-stick consultant told her that she HAS to "get out and go for walks" knowing full well that if she goes outside it is either with crutches, which causes extreme pain to her shoulder because of a bad break after a fall, requiring a reverse shoulder replacement, or she has to use a walker, AND the moment she walks out of her door she has a steep drive to walk up or down ... no flat at all. She is also prone to falls, which is how she broke her shoulder in the first place ... right outside the orthopedic department of the same hospital. They can't do the hip operation until her legs are healed - they've been like it since May and she has been in/out of hospital because of them. My sister is in her 70's and has always been a walker - she's always been a fidget bum and had to get out, sometimes going for very long walks. Now she is suffering from depression because of the state of her health.

I would suggest that you check out a Social Worker - this link may help you to find one.
www.onlinemswprograms.com/community-resour
ces/find-a-licensed-social-worker.html


A Social Worker can help you and be your advocate in situations like this. When you go to a Dr Appointment, they can go with you as your support person.

Where it comes to exercise, are you able to do chair exercises? They can be really great for those with issues. I've used them myself. I have arthritis of the spine as well as Scoliosis, and for a long time I couldn't do anything much as an after-effect of a bad car accident.

Please keep in touch and let us/me know how you get on, including with a Social Worker.

Good luck,
Kris

Edited by: SLIMMERKIWI at: 2/15/2020 (05:13)
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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/15/20 4:24 A

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I have been to many doctors over the years for this and other problems, and I have to say that not one has taken me seriously. Either they don't believe that I'm eating what I say I am, or they want me to go exercise somehow. I ask them to reference my xrays (I have spurs along my lower spine) and most change the subject... focus on my blood pressure or try pushing pills that just make things worse. I don't know what to do. In miserable and hate the inability to get out.

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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2/15/20 3:20 A



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This link will help you address not eating enough:
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_art
icles.asp?id=593


Have you spoken with your Dr about what is going on? If not, I strongly suggest that you do so. Do you have a Social Worker who is able to help you to get things under control? That is definitely something that I would consider. They can be so much help in more ways than one.

What is stopping you from getting out? If we know that, then we may be able to offer some suggestion which will help you.

Keep in touch,
Take care,
Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
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ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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WICKEDKISSES's Photo WICKEDKISSES Posts: 168
2/15/20 12:43 A

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It's extremely difficult to track things like food intake when you eat what you can get. Staying with friends, and trying not to be a burden, but at the same time trying to get things under control. Been in this situation since 2018. Afraid I'll never get out.

In the end, it wasn't being worthy that made you loved, it was being loved that made you worthy.


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