Message board topics
Reply Create A New Topic Subscribe to this Discussion
Community Leader community leader photo Community Leader
SLIMMERKIWI is the moderator for this forum.
Author:
ENGINEERMOM's Photo ENGINEERMOM Posts: 1,179
7/3/19 2:42 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
First time:
"Thanks for thinking of me! Unfortunately, I can't commit to that."

Second time, and as needed:
"As I said before, I can't commit to that."

It's completely reasonable to NOT commit every moment of your free time to volunteering for your church, even if you didn't work on Saturdays. If volunteering is something you love doing, and it fits well into your other commitments, by all means, go for it! But if it's something that just doesn't fit into your life right now, you don't need to apologize or explain, just be clear that's not a commitment you can make. Period.

As my mom says: "No" is a complete sentence.

Edited by: ENGINEERMOM at: 7/3/2019 (14:42)
Take life one day at a time - enjoy today before you worry about tomorrow.


 current weight: 223.6 
265
248.5
232
215.5
199
LININPARADISE7's Photo LININPARADISE7 Posts: 1,112
6/28/19 7:59 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Just say NO. You owe no one any explanation.

Live, Laugh, Love!!


 current weight: 136.0 
150
146.5
143
139.5
136
LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 30,388
6/27/19 10:45 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
"I'm sorry, I can't as I work Saturdays."
Repeat as necessary.


"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (26,330)
Fitness Minutes: (65,492)
Posts: 905
6/27/19 7:34 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Why not say something simple:

"thank you for thinking of me for that position, but right now my work schedule does not allow me to commit to that responsibility, but if my schedule changes I will reach out to you. But for now I'm not available, so I would appreciate it if you would stop asking. "

Plain simple, polite, sets boundaries and expectations (that you will reach out to him)

Now when he comes up and asks again, just say: "I've already spoken to you about this", and walk away.

Just be respectful and control the situation. This is called setting boundaries.



 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
1.75
3.5
5.25
7
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (310,963)
Fitness Minutes: (44,330)
Posts: 30,607
6/27/19 7:02 A



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I would just tell him to save his breath and find someone else to badger because you CAN'T do it - you are already tied up with YOUR WORK on that day.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
NITEMAN3D's Photo NITEMAN3D Posts: 20,250
6/26/19 4:55 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Have you just tried an emphatic "no, sorry but it's not going to happen"!

emoticon

Dave A.- South Central PA, USA

"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience." - Mark Twain


 Pounds lost: 83.0 
0
25.75
51.5
77.25
103
EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 4,527
6/26/19 3:41 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
There's this older male church friend that keeps harping on the fact that I'm good with computers, so he says I should help out in the AV tech duty (manning the powerpoint on the PC to project onto the big screen in church).

But I keep giving him the same answer, unlike other ppl, I have to work nearly every Saturday, and that is the time that is required for the person on duty to come into church to key in the needed data. So, I just cannot commit.

Besides, I am already on ushering duty once a month. I feel that's already plenty! But he just keeps on nagging me on this point : that I should help out because I'm good with computers. But I just can't! I have to work! Other ppl may get the entire weekend off but not me!

I'm just sick of explaining the same points again and again! He just refuses to get it!

Used to be Eowyn2424


 current weight: 137.0 
137
129
121
113
105
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Inappropriate Post

Other Panic! Button for Immediate Help Topics:

Topics:
Last Post:
8/12/2019 6:11:33 AM
3/10/2019 10:48:18 PM
12/17/2018 2:53:39 PM
2/14/2019 4:49:28 PM
5/14/2019 3:41:52 PM

Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.asp?imboard=32&imparent=49393354

Review our Community Guidelines