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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (272,815)
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11/12/18 4:09 A



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Elaine - I don't really think it has fully sunk in to you yet that you not only have to verbalize what you need to do, but you NEED TO DO IT!!!!

Learning self-control should be very high on your list of priorities.

Kris

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CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (25,491)
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11/11/18 8:04 P

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What made you overshoot your limit wasn't the lack of weighing yourself, it was not managing your fluids. You can weigh all you want. Drinking after eating also is not the answer, that is just depriving yourself. It is not about when you drink, is how much you drink ( all fluids).

When you weigh yourself, it is after the fact - meaning you ate or drank it already. Why not manage it before it passes you lips.

Get a water bottle, measure the fluids as you put it in the bottle. That's it, drink from that, and that only. If you have a cup of soup, pour out a cup of water. Really simple measurement. Just think, if you measured your food and drink, you wouldn't be tied to weighing yourself (which is not accurate, no matter what scale you have). Wouldn't that be freeing?

You have these tools, we've told you the path to success. By making excuses or stories " I have to weigh myself more", I didn't have my bottle, or I just didn't..." you will not succeed. In fact you will make matters worse. You complain about doing the washing, close your eyes and think of the next worse thing that will happen if you don't get this under control. This will be your path if you don't get this controlled.

When I learned about portions, I carried a 1-cup measure everywhere just so I can learn. You need to do something similar.

Come on. Time to stop the excuses.

Edited by: CHICAGOHOPE at: 11/11/2018 (20:10)

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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
11/11/18 6:24 P

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I will need to start tracking consistently again & also be more aware of how much I drink. I will need to limit my drinks. Only drink after meals. If I am really thirsty, maybe just have a small sip or just an ice cube.

I am really heavy today. Also, I need to constantly weigh myself to keep track of my water weight. It's because I did not weigh myself over the weekend that made me overshoot the 4kg mark.

I will be working tmrw. I will just have to control myself better.

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11/11/18 3:36 P



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EOWYN,

How have you been doing with monitoring your fluid intake ? If you really put your mind to doing something, I know you can achieve that 2kg challenge consistently.

Kiwi and Chicago make a good point. You don't have to deprive yourself. You just need to be more aware of your portion sizes. We all know how you find it difficult to resist all those yummy soups. But if you had a cup instead of a bowl, you would still get to enjoy the soup and lower your fluid intake for the day.

If you were able to stay below 2kgs for three dialysis sessions, would your nurse clean your dialyzer once ? If you did it for three days, your nurse would know how committed you were to controlling your fluid intake.

Instead of criticizing you, she'd be cleaning your dialyzer.

How awesome would that be ?



SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (272,815)
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11/5/18 7:46 P



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Elaine - you have already openly admitted that your fluid intake is more than it should be. If you limited you 'liquidy' foods (think soups etc.) and slightly reduced each serve of drink you had, I am sure that you would get pretty close to the mark. By paying more attention to other foods that have higher water concentration (oranges being one of them) you might find that you manage to make that 2kg challenge mark.

You can NOT go through life saying "poor me" or "it is impossible" because you are to a large extent the author of your own problems re not meeting the goals that your medical team has set you.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,162
11/5/18 9:39 A

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EOWYN24241,
if your abs are more defined, that sounds like you are building some muscle from your exercising.

A few points on that. Muscle is denser than body fat. So if you've gained muscle, and lost fat, and your body weight is the same, your body volume will have gone down, so you will look smaller and people will see that.

The second thing is that muscle it expensive to have, from a calorie point of view. Dormant muscle needs more calories per day to maintain than dormant body fat. So just having extra muscle helps with body fat loss.

Good going.

James


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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
11/4/18 9:22 P

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I have been receiving comments from a few ppl that I look slimmer. My weight is still the same though. I've also noticed my belly fat is a bit less and my abs are a bit more defined.

Nowadays I have to keep pulling my jeans up because they are getting a little loose but I still have a long way to go!

I am planning to get back into exercising regularly. I took about 2 weeks break because of various reasons but it's time to get back into exercising regularly again!

I did 15 minutes of strength training last night because I felt so guilty. It's better than nothing but I need more discipline! Time to start sweating again!

Edited by: EOWYN24241 at: 11/4/2018 (21:23)
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CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (25,491)
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11/1/18 10:34 A

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That is a great start.

For your food, why get the portion controlled cups. They are available on line or at some stores. These are small enough to carry in your work bag. That way you can exactly fill 1-cup portion control, and not guess.

You can use these for anything, and it helps to visually see the right serving size. I used these when I was learning what a "true portion" was.

If you measure your food, and fluid that will help you.

There are still many things you can do with a toe injury. Pilates, arms, squats... your exercises should be a combination of stretching and weight bearing to keep bones strong.

The beginning of the journey starts with a step, you now need to take the step and do it with the goal of starting under 2kg daily.

Come on let's go.



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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
11/1/18 12:57 A

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For starters, I am doing away with my cups of tea or coffee during working hours. And if my boss or her Mom gets me mixed rice for lunch, I won't finish the rice. Also, during the workday, I will stick to small sips from my bottle, and I won't refill it.

I get a lot of walking because I take public transport. So I only exercise on dialysis days in the evenings. However, I am taking a break from exercise now because I injured my little toe v badly. But I guess I can still do core based Pilates.

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CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (25,491)
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11/1/18 12:26 A

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So what is your strategy to stay below 2kg daily?

Regardless, your nurse is challenging you to take better care of yourself.

How do you intend to do this? You could break it down into several modules:

How are you going to manage your daily meals?
Measure food
Measure fluids
What is your exercise program?
Morning
Evenings
Daily walking (quick pace, not a stroll)
Research what others are doing to be successful

The bottom line is you need to control your numbers, what are you going to do.



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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
10/31/18 7:46 P

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She said I have to be below 2kgs everyday consistently before she will wash my dialyzer.

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10/31/18 12:05 P



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"Like I said! It's impossible! I'll can't go thru life fasting and not drink! I'm trying to control myself and yet I keep gaining!"

CHICAGO does bring up a good point.

How do you measure your portions ? Do you have a food scale ? If not, maybe it's time to invest in a food scale so that you can measure out exact portion sizes.

You had also mentioned that you had started drinking from a water bottle so that you could monitor your fluid intake. Are you still using that bottle ?

What are things you can do to help you stay under 2 kgs so that you can win that challenge ? You've said before that you don't like having to wash you're own equipment. Here's your chance to have the nurse do it for you.




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10/31/18 10:59 A

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When talking about weight, and health it should also include working out.

What are you doing? Is it part of your life everyday? Or is it an emergency action when you think your not going to make your numbers?

On your days you don't go to dialysis, you might do a 7 minute full body workout in the morning, with an active walk after lunch and dinner, and then a relaxing pilates or yoga to close the day.

What are you using to measure your weight at home? Is it calibrated properly? All scales have an error rate.

Lastly, what type of food/ fluid tracker are you using? Are you measuring you fluid in a measuring cup, everyday? Maybe it's time to look at a more enhanced product, maybe start or go back to measuring...it may be an inconvenience but it's your life. Carry a small cup in your purse that you know exactly how much it is, and measure you liquid into that EVERTIME. Clean it before leaving a restaurant, and keep it in a plastic bag in your purse.

What are the tools, apps, measurement tools are others using? Do some research.

Lastly, and to me the most important... change your mindset. You keep saying you can't. With these words, you will not succeed. Faith is calling things that are not as though they are. Along with faith you need to put action behind it too, this might mean reevaluate the tools, workouts and mindset to be successful.

We all have challenges, what makes some successful in beating or working with these challenges is the mind set to find what works to succeed and live thru the challenge. If something doesn't work, don't give up, don't say "this is impossible", look for another solution.




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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
10/31/18 7:06 A

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I put on about slightly more than 1kg from lunch and dinner in one day alone! How can I keep my gain to below 2kg?! Unless I fast or just stop drinking!

I just had dinner today, it's Wednesday, I didn't eat much neither did I drink much but my weight gain is already 1.8kg! It's impossible to keep it below 2kg unless I fast tomorrow!

I owed the machine 200g, so the net gain for today for 2 meals (lunch and dinner) is 1.6kg, but since I owe the machine, I actually gained 1.8kg net.

I'm working tomorrow, so it'll be doubly hard!

Like I said! It's impossible! I'll can't go thru life fasting and not drink! I'm trying to control myself and yet I keep gaining!

Edited by: EOWYN24241 at: 10/31/2018 (07:32)
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MLAN613 Posts: 20,296
10/31/18 6:38 A

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I bet you can keep your gain to below 2 KG. What an excellent and doable challenge.

Meghan in Minneapolis, Minnesota, USA


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10/30/18 12:20 P



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"She also said she will wash my dialyzer herself if I can come with a weight gain of below 2kgs! But that will be next to impossible! Sigh!"

Your nurse friend just gave you a fantastic goal ! Wouldn't you love to have her clean your dialyzer ? think of how much quicker you could leave dialysis if she cleaned it instead of you.

Question, why do you consider it impossible to go into a dialysis session with a weight gain below 2 kgs ? What causes you to go over ? Don't you feel there are things you could do to stay under 2 kgs ?





EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
10/30/18 11:13 A

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Thanks, Maria, for your heartfelt and informative response. I realize how fortunate I am now. Most patients have to pay an exorbitant fee for their dialysis. I get financial help from the workers' union. Compared to most other patients, I am very fortunate.

I guess that's why the nurses make me wash my dialyzer and prepare my machine myself. Plus the fact that I am capable of doing it.

The head nurse, who is also a friend, however, put it this way : my fluid control is very bad. I am almost always overloading myself with fluids. She said she is punishing me because of my disobedience. I hope she is joking! She also said she will wash my dialyzer herself if I can come with a weight gain of below 2kgs! But that will be next to impossible! Sigh!

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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,162
10/30/18 9:50 A

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MARIA11X,
a good point on many of us having things in life that aren't "fair". Its news to me that you had a brain injury. That accident is not fair. I've had brain issues and brain surgery. Among other things there is "scarring" on my grey matter, and the doctors don't really know what the implications of that are. My brain issues are something that few have, and are also unfair.

But my experience is like yours. Changes upset me, even changes in plans of what to do for the day. Or moving things. Moving things bugs me because I don't know where to find it. Yesterday I dropped the TV remote on a messy bed in a seldom used guest bedroom. I went in there for something, don't know why I was carrying it. But must have put it down when getting something from that room. It took me two days to find it, and only because I decided to tidy the house. Worse than not finding something, is knowing that not finding it is a reminder of my brain issues.

I also had the fleeting thought that you may have told me that you had brain issues, and I forgot about that. Of course, I can think "why me?", everyone else has it better.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 10/30/2018 (09:52)
James


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Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 554
10/30/18 2:41 A

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Eowyn,

I agree with what LADYSTARWIND said about shifting your perspective. We all have some health challenges. While some of us are not dealing with something as challenging as yours, such as dialysis, the challenges some of us have are just as difficult in some ways, if not more, so comparing really does not help. Even if you are comparing yourself to the other patients at your clinic, it doesn't help matters.

I've mentioned before that I have a traumatic brain injury, which was the result of a vehicle accident was involved in while serving in the military. I fell out of a vehicle and landed on my head. So while I don't have to go through what you do with sitting there for the treatments and washing a dialyzer, I have other things that I go through such as short-term memory challenges, getting easily frustrated, confused and disoriented if things are suddenly changed or moved (as I have to stick with routines and step-by-step instructions and lists). Yes, I am fortunate that I am able to drive myself to places, but early on, I could not. I was restricted from driving for about 6 months in the beginning.

I could complain and compare myself to others who seem like they have it better than I do. But then, how do I really know what someone else is going through? How would I know if the woman in the supermarket line has things better than me, if she might look better dressed than me, or whatever the case. For all I know, she could have a terminal illness or lost a child to cancer. We don't always know things by how they appear.

I could be jealous of other service members who score higher on their fitness tests, but I am actually happy that I can still pass my tests and that I have the ability to remain in the military. So many of my colleagues have had to leave the service due to injuries, missing limbs, and illnesses. In this perspective, I have nothing to be jealous of, but rather, having gratitude, that I am still able to do what I can.

I am lucky that I can remain somewhat independent. I don't have much in the way of family to help me. My husband is currently serving overseas, my Dad lives in another state. My Mom passed away 9 years ago. My sister lives 5-hours drive away. My brother lives a good 30-minutes drive away, and even still I hardly get a chance to see him because of our schedules. You are very fortunate to have both of your parents still, and a brother, all of you living together in the same house. Yes, I recognize that you and your brother do not get along. I hope that this changes for you, since you have only one brother, one sibling. I would do anything to have my siblings nearby.

Think about Spark Guy, Chris, who started Spark People. He's been writing in his blogs about having brain surgery for a tumor and being in the hospital. He has a wife and family. He created this forum for us, and everything that is The Spark and Spark People, and we could have lost him. Thank God it looks like he will be okay!

If I were in your shoes, I would be happy that the elderly patients were getting extra help. I would be happy that the newer, younger patients are getting help and getting oriented to the clinic. I would be happy that someone is there to help them and they are not alone to figure things out for themselves. It sounds like the nurses leave you to do things for yourself because you are independent and capable. Be thankful that you can do that for yourself for as long as you can.


I am not telling you all of this to make you feel bad or guilty or anything like that. I am hoping that you will see how blessed you are. Many people do not have the daily support that you have. I certainly don't. I live in an apartment alone right now with my dog, and if it weren't for her I would be really sad and lonesome.


I would challenge you to keep a gratitude jar. Each day write one thing you are grateful for and put it in the jar. At the end of 30 days, you will have 30 things to look back upon to see that you do have so much more than you think you do, and probably don't have very much reason to be jealous. Give it a try and see how it goes.

Best wishes,
Maria



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LIFECHANGZ's Photo LIFECHANGZ Posts: 7,023
10/25/18 9:56 P

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emoticon

Edited by: LIFECHANGZ at: 10/25/2018 (23:25)
When the world says “Give up,” Hope whispers ‘Try it one more time.'
-- today I'm here, today I'm trying! Making this, making me a priority! We Got This!
-- finding non-food solutions for non-food problems (food solves hunger)


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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND Posts: 5,380
10/25/18 12:50 P

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emoticon your attitude amazes me.... I would only hope that under similar circumstances, I would be as positive. And, I appreciate how much effort you put into sharing your Journey openly with others. It is really inspirational. Have a great week!
patti

Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,162
10/24/18 9:17 A

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LADYSTARWIND,
I'm following your train of thought. I'm on long term disability for cognitive impairment, essentially memory problems. If I want to learn something new, I have to work hard at it, and do it a few times until it sticks.

I've gotten around simpler memory things by making more lists. I just made a list of what I want to do today. A few minutes later when I found my paper and pen to write them down, I didn't write them all down, I knew I forgot one, but what was it?

While making coffee it came back to me and I updated the list.

So what glorious things am I doing with my spare time since I'm not working? Off to the spa? No. Its this:
- take bottles back the the depot and get the deposit back
- go to a hardware store to buy a new pressure gun for my washer

Now I already forgot, I have to run and look at my list, ... back in a sec,
- take the household garbage to the waste management centre

Am I unhappy that I forget things. I used to be, now its part of how life just is. Am I unhappy that with my "free" time that I'm doing household work, and not having a life of leisure? Actually no. I'm like a dog who's happy to go for a car ride and get out of the house, tail wagging.

James


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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND Posts: 5,380
10/23/18 6:13 P

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Shift your perspective:
Younger people.... be glad you didn't suffer so early with kidney problems...
Older people.... be grateful you still CAN wash your dialyser…. there may come a day when your health and or mind decline enough that you aren't able to do some things. the more you do now, for yourself, the longer you postpone that place in Life. As for not being able to get there sooner in the morning... luck of the draw as to where you live. Also, some of them may have appts earlier than they want and/or they can't sleep so might as well come in early....

Until you have walked the proverbial mile in their shoes, remind yourself that there is much you probably don't know about their circumstances. be a friend to them, and start to learn what their lives are like. That is the real key to changing your perspective!! Have a great week,
patti

PS...hope by the time you read this that you're already in a better place than when you vented....!! take care

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 10/23/2018 (18:15)
Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (272,815)
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10/22/18 10:26 P



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I ditto the others.

www.lifehacker.com.au/2014/02/how-i-learne
d-to-stop-being-so-jealous-and-finally
-get-on-with-my-life/


www.vortex-success.com/how-to-overcome-env
y-and-stop-feeling-jealous-of-what-oth
ers-have/


I strongly suggest that you read both of the links above, and then start to put their suggestions into practice.

Kris


Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
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Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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10/22/18 7:44 P



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EOWYN,

I agree with CHICAGO.

As the old song goes,"Accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative".

Don't dwell on what you don't have, be grateful for all the things you do have.

If you really think about it, there is a lot that is going right in your life.

Why not make a list of everything you do have ? Write down all the positive things. Put that list some place where you can see it. When you're feeling a little low, read it. Revise it if necessary.

There must be 3-5 things which you do feel great about. What are they ?


Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 10/24/2018 (12:57)
CHICAGOHOPE's Photo CHICAGOHOPE SparkPoints: (25,491)
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10/22/18 11:09 A

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Everyone has feelings of jealousy at one time or another. But it is learning to manage those feelings.

Instead of focusing on what they get, or do. Focus on yourself, and be grateful that you are younger than these older patients, that you are able to still do things for yourself, that the nurses trust you to wash your own dialyzer (by the way, this is YOUR product, you used).

Stay focused on all the great things you have in your life. Stop being concerned about what others have or get, the will always be others that have more, do more, get more than you.

It is a very exhausting life comparing yours to others. Life is not always fair, but it is how you look at it and what you focus on.

Focus on yourself and what you DO have, not what you don't have. It makes for a much happier life.

You can help how you feel, you can choose to feel like a victim (self pity, whoa is me - like you are), or choose to be happy. The choice is yours, choose wisely!!! Live happy!!

Edited by: CHICAGOHOPE at: 10/22/2018 (11:15)

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EOWYN24241's Photo EOWYN24241 Posts: 1,329
10/22/18 4:05 A

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In a nutshell, I am really envious of the older patients in the dialysis center. I know I am not being logical, but some of them are new patients but they don't even bother to learn to do stuff because the nurses do everything for them.

Some of the younger patients also gets everything done for them because their bosses pay extra to the dialysis center. Seems everyone is more fortunate than me and it riles me up!

As it is I have to wake up at 5:30am just to be on time but a lot of older patients are there before the doors open. I just feel so jealous that they can finish earlier and they don't even have to wash their dialyzers!

I know I sound whinny but this is my honest feelings. I need to pray abt this but I just can't help the way I feel!

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