You FEEL because you THINK. Try becoming aware of your thoughts. What are you telling yourself and then ask yourself a question. If God told you a million dollars or unlimited joy will be yours at the end of this dialysis problem and the more you had to endure the more money or happiness you would receive, would you still be jealous? Would you endure it with hope and anticipation? Everyone has their own path and their own pain. What if you knew that each one of those older people lost all their children in a fire? Would that make a difference? We can't judge what we don't know and the truth is we don't know what other people endure through-out their lives. All we can do is control ourself.