Message board topics
Reply Create A New Topic Subscribe to this Discussion
Community Leader community leader photo Community Leader
SLIMMERKIWI is the moderator for this forum.
Author:
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
10/28/18 4:53 A



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It was cooler here today and overcast most of it, but was still warm enough. I like the temps here at the moment, and not looking forward to a hot summer coming up.

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/27/18 4:29 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It's a raw, windy day here. The Nor'easter that is hitting the East coast is quite the storm. But, it didn't stop me from going out to get my veggies for the week.

No matter how bad a day may seem, there is always something that can be done to make the day more positive.

BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/27/18 12:50 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Everyone please enjoy a positive, peaceful day!
Britt

Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
10/27/18 3:22 A



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
All we can do is to be the best we can be and to not beat ourselves up if we slip up a little. Actually, those little occasional slip ups are what makes our goal far more attainable ... well, at least for me.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/26/18 7:53 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Great morning everyone,
Thanks for all of the love, support, and great suggestions. I have joined the 21 day Challenge to help me get a focal point and I've been searching around the site and have found a lot of hidden goodies.

Today I've vowed to simply be the best me that I can be and to think healthy thoughts.

Hoping that everyone has an AWESOME day filled with joy.
B

Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
10/26/18 1:25 A



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Britt - we are all here, helping each other :-) That's the beauty of SP.

Hugs,
Kris xxx

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/25/18 9:17 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
BUTTERFLYB150,
I will respond to your SparkMail. Today has been crazy. I'll give you a longer reply later this evening. I'm not leaving you hanging.

My wife is in the hospital and real life needs attention. But later this evening ...

- James

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND Posts: 5,587
10/25/18 12:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
We'll look forward to hearing from you, and seeing some of your posts around Spark! Have you thought about joining any of the Challenge groups...just to have a focal point? there are the "official SPark Challenges" and then a lot of informal threads...
Have a great week,
patti

Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


 current weight: 145.0 
150
144.75
139.5
134.25
129
BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/24/18 4:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thanks, everyone. I will come here daily and hope that I may be able to lend support also. I greatly appreciate you all.

Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/24/18 12:18 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi, Britt !

You can totally add me as a spark buddy ! I've added you !

emoticon

-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/24/18 9:42 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Britt,
I sent you Spark note. I hope its the first of many back and forth. That's my version of "Spark friendship".

- James

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/24/18 8:44 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Also, I wanted to ask if I may add you all as friends?

Thanks,
Britt

Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/24/18 8:42 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Thank you guys for listening, understanding, and your suggestions. I'd also like to thank you for your acceptance. I realize that part of my issue is that I don't talk about it. I'm working on scheduling with my Dr. meanwhile really struggling against medicating with food.
I cannot thank you enough,
Britt

Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
10/23/18 8:13 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I, too, strongly suggest talking with your Dr. You are obviously have an issue re your home/life, but also the fact that your kitchen is under renovation can add significantly to a person's mood/depression. Therapy may be all that you need, and I can tell you from experience, it is really good to have someone who listens and can help us learn how to cope with a lot of what life throws at us.

Good luck,
Keep in touch and let us know how you are going!!!

Kris



Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND Posts: 5,587
10/23/18 6:36 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Butterfly.... please don't hesitate to talk with your doctor. That was the single best thing I did many years ago. I finally went in because I was internalizing my depression to the point that I was getting physical symptoms--- tightness in my chest, lack of sleep,digestive issues... He listened to my physical symptoms, but he also listened to my "list" of overwhelming things (which both of us knew he couldn't solve...) and suggested two things. First, I started on a low dose of meds: to help me sleep, counteract the digestive symptoms, and the depression issues. That was all accomplished with one low dose med!! We also set up a blood pressure med--something I didn't even realize was an issue.

Then he suggested I look into counseling...and pulled out a flyer for a group on Women & Depression that would be starting soon. THAT was a lifesaver for me! I also did some counseling...but honestly, the meds and the group were the game changers. No...everything I was confronting in my home life didn't change...but... I was able to refind my inner strength, my physical health, and change my perspective about what I could control or not. I was able to stop the downward spiral of negative thinking with some coping techniques I learned in the group.... You know what---I still use them when I get really upset!!

All the best as you work through this chapter in your Life. Hopefully a new one starts soon! Let us know how you are doing,
patti

Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


 current weight: 145.0 
150
144.75
139.5
134.25
129
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/23/18 12:59 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
BUTTERFLYB150,

Acknowledging that something isn't right is the first step towards getting better.

When is the last time you went to the doctor for a full physical ? If it's been many years, it's time to go. And if you have been to the doctor, have you ever discussed your depression ? Your doctor could run some tests to see if there is a medical reason for your condition. If everything seems okay, they could suggest you work with a therapist or maybe try medication. There are meds that can help a person get through rough patches during the day.

If you feel something isn't right and you're ready to make a change, start with a trip to your doctor.

emoticon

BUTTERFLYB150's Photo BUTTERFLYB150 Posts: 291
10/23/18 12:29 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi everyone. I just happened to find this post today and it is very helpful as I am having a blah mood day. I commend everyone for their transparency as I am too ashamed to express how unhappy and depressed I really am. I just restarted my weight loss journey 2 weeks ago and I have been losing but I'm still unhappy and mostly unmotivated. In viewing my eating patterns I realized that I do well during the day but when I get home it all falls apart (surely because that is where I am the most unhappiest). To add to my home frustrations, my kitchen is under renovation and so I have had to be creative in food choices (mostly things that can be microwaved when I prefer fresh/home cooked). Where do I start in tackling the issue of my depressed state and am I wrong to think that I can shake it on my own? I too need support...badly.

Edited by: BUTTERFLYB150 at: 10/23/2018 (12:30)
Everyday is a new opportunity to move forward. I will not give up!


 current weight: 227.6 
235.8
214.35
192.9
171.45
150
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/4/18 10:36 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Annalie,
I think you were asking about me. I'll tell you some.

I have a Ph.D. in physics. I used to do research in physics, then I worked for a parallel computer company, and after that for IBM. Towards the end of my active time with IBM I started having trouble remembering things. I started writing down more and more what I was working on, deadlines, people involved, their e-mail, etc.

Then it was found that I had a brain tumour that impacted me. I thought I'd wake up after surgery better. But surgery itself had its own damage. I've recovered a fair bit since then.

My math and physics is not where it used to be, but it was so high up there that even dulled its still very good. I've redirected this aptitude to nutrition and weight loss.

So deep down what am I saying? I'm saying that I understand that there can be deep unusual irrational changes in people.



Edited by: -JAMES- at: 10/4/2018 (10:38)
James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/4/18 10:13 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Annalie,
even if you didn't follow my explanation, the result is that loosing 4 kilograms (8.8 pounds) per month is not sustainable. It means such a severe reduction in quantity of food that your body reacts by getting more efficient with what it is given, which makes loosing weight even harder.

I make the analogy of being on a certain income. People who make a lot of money tend to spend a lot of money. Dining out, expensive cars, new clothes ... But when people face a big cut in wages do they dip into their bank account to keep up their lifestyle (i.e. dip into their body fat)? No, they change habits, less dining out, many fewer new clothes, not going to the theatre. They live pretty well on much less money. Your body is the same. It wastes less body heat, it moves more efficiently ...

Realistic weight loss is about 2 kilograms per month, and personally I'd be happy with anything near that.

What about a diet (which means "way of eating"). It needs to be something you can continue long term. Not "I'll eat this way until ...". Personally I'm "Keto" which means I eat very low carbohydrate, unbelievably low, but that's me.

If you temper that with what most people can manage, I'd go with what ARCHIMEDES is suggesting. To eat healthier. What you want to do is make your calories "count", that is to get the things you really need. Your body needs protein, fats, vitamins, minerals ... So what do you not eat, or avoid. Certainly avoid sugar. Sugar is pure calories and nothing else. It is such nutritionally empty calories that you want to avoid. So I like the "white" diet, which is to avoid "white" things which are typically highly processed and have few nutrients. On the "white" list:
- sugar (obviously)
- white rice
- white bread
- pasta

Also, don't drink your calories, like sugar filled drinks like coke, or fruit juices. Maybe eat a fruit, but don't drink fruit juice. Again a fruit juice fits with the over processed thing. You take a fruit that you can eat, but put it through a factory and extract the juice.

That's a pretty easy diet, and yes quantities matter, so eat normal quantities. What do you think, avoid sugar laden things and "white" or beige (light brown) things.

You don't have to be perfect, you just have to get on your path and adjust as you go.

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/3/18 7:06 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hello !

What a person needs to eat to lose weight will vary from person to person for a variety of different reasons. One size does not fit all, is not an exaggeration when it comes to figuring out what to eat and how much.

The old mantra is this,"calories in versus calories out". In order to lose weight, the number of calories you burn (exercise, daily activities, thinking) should exceed what you take in (meals, snacks, drinks).

While it's true that most Americans eat too much and need to eat less, the problem is that they are eating too much of the wrong food and not enough of the right foods. When I was obese, I ate the wrong foods. I ate too many sugary treats like cookies, muffins, crumb cakes. I didn't eat enough fresh fruit or veggies. I was eating a typical American diet aka burgers, french fries, pastries, cookies, etc.

With TIME, I had to learn how to reform my eating habits. That meant learning how to eat more fresh fruit and veggies. Learning to say,"no thank you" to an extra cookie.

Losing weight doesn't mean you can never eat a cookie or piece of cake again. It does mean you will have to learn how to portion control the treats you do it. That has taken me years to learn. it's not easy because you are trying to change habits learned over a life time.

What should do you ? Start with the simple things. If you know you're not eating enough fruit or veggies, set a daily goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. If you drink too much soda (Coke or Pepsi) and not enough water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses of water each day for one week. If you've been sedentary and don't exercise, don't start with an hour a day. set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you complete these goals, you do them again or set new ones.

Setting simple goals is how you slowly ease into healthier eating and exercise habits. no all or nothing mentality. You learn to take baby steps, literally and figuratively.


VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/3/18 3:52 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hallo again, good points, thanks.

Is it a must to have a "official" diet plan or can I just have my normal meals (veg, white meat, fruit... ) but in small portions?
And also to cut out soda, sweet, bread, all the bad stuff. Drinking lots of water.

I read your page and I am really impressed.

I want to change my current life style and look after myself again and make it part of my regular (as you repeatedly say emoticon ) day.

Hope you are well?

Annalie


Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/3/18 3:28 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
James, I tried to follow the calorie explanation but... emoticon. But I get your drift. I can see you are a maths boffin.

I will follow your advice re exercising etc. A few years back I like going to the gym doing weights and had a personal trainer. I also loved to run and walk and was quite fit and trim emoticon .

If you write software for fun, what do you do for work?!

I visited your page and I take my hat off to you.

We can "get twisted up inside" together. Ha ha.

O yes, veldblom is Afrikaans for wild flower.

Annalie



Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/3/18 10:50 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Annalie (VELDBLOM),
looking at your ID, is veld-blom, field flower in Dutch?

But on to the real stuff. I too have my mental challenges. The rational part of my brain knows that some of my other feelings and thoughts are just not right, and its a battle for me to stay "normal". I certainly appear normal, but I can get twisted up inside. But this is more about helping you. Yah, so you're getting advice from someone who needs advice, ... don't worry, I might still be on track for you.

My first bit of advice, when you set a goal, don't think of it as all or none. Like if you don't loose 4 kg in a month that you've failed. If you loose 1 kg it is still a success. 4 kg, or about 8.8 pounds for those who are not metric (I'm Canadian, so I deal with both systems) is a lot to loose in a month. I've got a lot of math and physics in my background, and the calories calculations (if you believe them, and I generally do) put about 7700 calories stored in a kilogram of body fat.

To loose 4 kilograms of body fat means a calorie deficit of 30800 across the month, or about 1000 each day. People typically eat about 2000 calories a day, so this would be a pretty severe cut, like in half, and one would need to keep it up for a month. So a 2 kg loss for the month is probably more attainable.

Your walking 3 days a week, and exercising two other days a week at home is not too much. That looks very realistic. I presume the time for each is 45 minutes or so. Great.

Your goal for exercise (in my opinion) should be to get fitter, healthier, stronger, more flexible ... but not to burn extra calories. I'll put that in perspective from a calorie point of view. Walking one hour will burn about 200 calories. Three times a week, times four weeks per month, about 2400 calories burned walking in a month. Less than 1/2 kg of body fat would be burned due to walking, not much towards your 8 kg goal, and its a lot of pretty consistent walking.

My conclusion is not to walk more (you'd be walking many hours each day) or to not walk. Walking is great, your muscles will love it, you'll get some blood flowing, and endorphins to feel better, lots of good stuff.

Jewelry and crafts ... I have no idea how long it takes to make that, but it sounds great. I write software for "fun", its one of my creative outlets.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 10/3/2018 (10:52)
James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/3/18 10:22 A



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi, VELDBLOM !

You don't have to do a lot to start a regular exercise routine. Don't try to do too much too soon. You do want to learn how to make regular exercise part of your regular day.

What were you doing for activity before you decided you want to be healthy starting on monday ? If you were already walking, that's great. walking is not only great cardiovascular exercise, it's a great way to reduce stress too. Walking is also a great way to slowly ease into a regular exercise routine.

Why do I keep mentioning the word regular ?

When someone decides they need to lose weight, they are almost always in a panic. All they want to know is what is the fastest way to take of the weight. They might start by cutting their calories from 2500 down to 1200. they might go from no exercise to an hour day. And what happens ? they get frustrated really fast when results they expect don't happen instantly.

Well, the hard truth is this, if it took you years to gain the weight, it could take years to get it off. Even though you'd like to lose 4-5 kgs, it may take longer than a month to take the weight off.

Losing weight (like gaining it) is a slow process. most of us did not gain 10, 20 or 30 pounds in a month. We slowly packed on the weight. So, we slowly need to take it off.

When we start to incorporate healthier habits, we need to slowly do this so that these habits will become just that, a habit. Even when you have lost the weight, you will need these habits. What happens if you start eating the old way ? You'll gain weight.

that's why we encourage members to slowly ease into a healthier set of habits. don't expect to change over night. it's not going to happen. this must be a lifestyle change that you're willing to keep for life and not the amount of time it takes to lose the weight.

Start with simple changes you can stick to each week. with time, those changes will become second nature, but like I said... change takes time.

Rome wasn't built in a day and neither were you.


VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/3/18 7:10 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hallo, today is a good day. emoticon

A lot of advice - thanks.

I am going to my psychiatrist and talk frequently with my psychologist. They are a tremendous help to me but still I struggle sometimes. I have "guidelines" about organizing my days and how to get to my goals. And also what I can do when feeling overwhelmed etc. So I am not totally clueless. emoticon It's just that 'stuff' gets in the way and sometimes life seems difficult as everyone experiences some days.

OK, my goals:
1. Eating healthy (I started this Monday). I would like to lose about 4 kg this month.

I follow an eating plan that is supposed to be healthy and good. It is very popular and have a facebook page. I did follow it beginning of the year and lost about 6 kg in a month. Would you like to see the plan?

2. Walk 3 days a week (Mo, Wed, Fri) and exercise at home (Tue, Thu) to fitness videos on youtube. Is this too much?

3. Make 2 jewelry pieces weekly and learning new techniques working with the clay.

There is also a blog but I'll leave it for now.

I will work at doing and not avoiding.

What do you think?

And how are you doing?

Annalie

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/2/18 11:27 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,
I understand about working on yourself. However I view Spark People like going in for therapy.

Imagine going into the therapists office and saying nothing and expecting the therapist to tell you what you need to change or what to do. That is not going to work.

Then imagine telling the therapist that you are depressed, and that is all. The therapist replies, maybe even asks a question, and you are silent. That is not going to work.

So it needs to be an ongoing discussion. I'm very glad you are much more engaged here. So you stared this topic off saying you'd like to have a goal, or probably direction towards a goal done by year end to feel better about yourself. Never mind actually doing them, what are you goals?
- loose some weight
- B
- C
- D

Lets get the goals down first. What are they?

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
10/2/18 11:18 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
One thing a Psychologist prescribed to me:

"Avoid avoidance"

In this case, you were avoiding coming here for help. Just remember, a problem shared is a problem halved. It is amazing how much better we feel when we can see that there are others who not only understand, but also care!!!

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/2/18 6:48 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/2/18 6:46 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,

I tell all members who are having a bad day,"you DO have value !"

As the old song goes,"accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative".

Give yourself more credit for all the positive things you do for yourself and stop beating yourself up because you're not perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.






VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/2/18 4:55 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hallo, I understand totally about posting and replying. I guess I felt that I don't want to give my 2 pennies worth. I'm working on myself emoticon

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/2/18 2:08 P

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,

I'm very glad you returned to post again. It makes a HUGE difference to anyone (myself included) who replied.

Let me say that I too suffered from depression for about 5 months, so I have some understanding. I wanted to go to bed early to avoid the day, and I tried sleeping in as much as possible, also to avoid the day.

I tried medication, but it just made me feel weird, so now weird and depressed. In the end it was my wife who pushed me out of my depression. She forced me to get out of the house and do things. At first just shopping. I'd go grocery shopping. I'd be thinking some depressive things while shopping, but I'd also be distracted by just the act of pushing the cart and finding things on the list. I found that while shopping I forgot about my mood for many minutes at a time.

Later I got the task of shopping at two stores and buying the cheaper priced but identical item from one of the two stores. So I went shopping in one store, noted all the prices but bought nothing, then I went to the second store, bought what was cheaper, then back to the first store. Then I estimated the cost of how much extra gas I'd used in the car and figured out how many dollars I'd saved overall.

It could take me 2 hours to go shopping rather than 40 minutes, and I'd save $8.26, hardly an hourly wage. But it was $8.26. That is part of what pulled me out. Getting out of the house, getting distracted from my depression, getting me to do things and be with people, even if they were just the people in the grocery store.

Depression comes from the root "lack of pressure" and my pressure was to save money, even a little bit of money. In the end it wasn't the money that was important at all, but the pressure to save money, just a game, but it saved me.

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 10/2/2018 (14:13)
James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
10/2/18 12:50 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better.

James did bring up a good point. Many people have wondered why more members don't post. Why do more people stay on the sidelines and lurk instead of participating in a discussion ?

We have had many new members post a message asking for help or advice. But never reply back. They kind of disappear. If someone takes time out of their day to reply, take a few minutes to acknowledge that they did. Otherwise, a person might say,"why should I bother replying if the person doesn't come back". How do I know I was helpful ? Maybe I wasn't. So, I wont post to any thread anymore.

It discourages people from participating. The same is true if someone replies that they didn't like a suggestion or reply. They tell the person, you have no idea what you are talking about. There are offended. A lot of people wont reply because they worry that they might offend the person.

If someone wants to receive a reply, they have to be ready to come back and acknowledge those people who took the time to reply. You don't have to thank everyone, but let people know how you're doing so that they don't feel they are being ignored.

then they might not reply to anyone else.


VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/2/18 9:07 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
JAMES, I feel better about my hair. You are right emoticon . Thank you for your advice. I already replied but wanted to thank you also.

You said, "But you are absolutely right, calling for help, and never coming back to see if anyone listened (i.e. not coming back to this post) is not motivating any of us."

I didn't think that by not coming bank, I'm not a motivation for someone. Made me think.

Have a good day.

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
10/2/18 8:59 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hallo,

First I want to apologize for not responding to your comments. WHITE-GREEN I read every comment and it made me feel good that there are people who cares (and you don't even know me!)

The reason why I didn't reply was because I was so sick (as in a very low depressed episode, didn't want to speak, no energy and only want to sleep). My meds is the right combination for now. Thanks SLIMMERKIWI.

And I am going to buy myself new pants this Friday ARCHIMEDESII

I am better and am going to plan my program for fitness, eatplan and a work schedule. Yes yes,, I am going to take small manageable steps.

Thank you for your advice. I will follow them. I think I must print it and put it up for me to see everyday.

I also wasn't sure about the difference between a blog and the message board. Did a search but don't find 'help'. Think the blog is where I pin my thoughts etc and anybody can see it and a message posted on board is talking about a topic.

Help...

O yes, WHITE-GREEN, you said that I didn't blog. Will you then be able to get notice ? There must be so many that you get, how will you find my blog about my "Panic message"?

Sorry for all the questions! Just wondered.

I hope you all have a good day so far.



Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
10/1/18 10:37 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
WHITE-GREEN,
yes if she put out a blog we could read it and comment. But you are absolutely right, calling for help, and never coming back to see if anyone listened (i.e. not coming back to this post) is not motivating any of us.

She may have come back and read what what wrote here, but again if she doesn't post again we don't know what happened to her.

James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
WHITE-GREEN's Photo WHITE-GREEN Posts: 3,293
9/30/18 9:23 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
"Will you be able to help me by checking up on me, a boot up my backside?"

If you post (at least) one blog per week with updates about how you are doing with health goals, I will comment and try to offer support.



 Pounds lost: 19.0 
0
8.25
16.5
24.75
33
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,865
9/17/18 9:56 A

Community Team Member

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,
I'm here to listen to you. I'm also here to give ideas to you too. You come back to this topic and I will too.

I agree, you can't "uncut" your hair, but if it is a blue you don't like, you can get it dyed again, and aim for for natural colour. You probably won't hit exactly that, but close. Then things slowly grow out.

What habits did you have that led to gaining 10 Kg. ( about 22 pounds)? Those are the things you need to change.

In my opinion weight loss is 95% the sort of things you eat, and 5% exercise. I myself avoid low nutrition foods, I include chocolate and bread in that low nutrition list. What is higher in nutrition is meats and fresh veggies. For me a typical supper is a big salad with some sort of meat on it and a non-sweet salad dressing, like ranch.



James
Alberta, Canada


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 179.0 
217
201.5
186
170.5
155
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (286,846)
Fitness Minutes: (43,478)
Posts: 29,235
9/16/18 6:47 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi - I think the first thing is that you need to make an appointment with your Dr ASAP. Your mood has been going on a few weeks so it is possible that your medication may need reviewing.

Now, where it comes to healthy lifestyle, take it one step at a time. Go for a few minutes walk. You might just find that you are enjoying it and extend the time. Ensure that you have easy access to healthy options re food. When a person has a mental health issue, some exercise and good nutrition is very important ... well, it is anyway, but without it your health can deteriorate.

Good luck
Kris


Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


 current weight: 154.0 
213
198.25
183.5
168.75
154
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
9/16/18 3:32 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
PS - time to buy yourself some new pants even if they are in a size you don't like.

Nothing says new attitude like a new outfit. If you wear frumpy, baggy clothing, you feel like a frump. Go out and buy yourself a new outfit that fits now. No need for a new wardrobe. just by a couple of pieces that suit your current figure.

Go rinse out that blue hair dye. the pixie cut will be more attractive in your normal hair color. And if you really don't like the short look, your hair will grow back.


ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (212,252)
Fitness Minutes: (321,041)
Posts: 28,089
9/16/18 3:28 P



My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
VELDBLOM,

I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"Don't look at good health or weight loss with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did for yourself today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

Remember, you're trying to change habits learned over a life time. that's not going to happen overnight, a week, a month or even a year. Change takes time. that's why Spark People encourages its members to start with some simple changes first. don't try to do everything at once or you will end up frustrated.

Start by setting some simple goals. If you're not eating 9-6 servings of fresh fruit and veggies, set a goal to eat 2-3 servings each day for one week. if you're not drinking 8 glasses of water, set a goal to drink 2-4 glasses each day for one week. if you haven't been exercising, don't start with an hour a day, set a goal to take a 30 minute walk each day for one week. Once you've completed these goals, you do them again or set new ones.

Setting simple goals is how we slowly ease into a healthier set of habits. A fitbit is nice, but not necessary. I lost all the weight without one. I have one now because I like tracking my fitness goals. but when I started out, no fitbit. I started out by taking some new fitness classes at my gym and watching what I ate. I knew I ate way too much junk, so I started by cutting back on the mid morning muffins, evening crumb cakes, etc. I started eating more fruit for snacks and veggies at meals.

You don't have to do a lot to start. You take things one day at a time, one meal at a time.

emoticon

VELDBLOM's Photo VELDBLOM SparkPoints: (3,463)
Fitness Minutes: (2,006)
Posts: 212
9/16/18 3:16 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Hi all, hope you are well.

The last few weeks my mood played seesaw with me and I feel tired.

I feel ugly and fat (I am about 10 kg over weight). I am short and 3 kg extra makes a big difference. None of my clothes fit except 2 sweat pants and a few tops. To top it, I cut my hair into a pixie style and now I wish I haven't. Add a blue rinse and I look like an "old" lady. ln the shopping mall climbing stairs I sounded like a steam train.

Sometimes I try to make jokes about myself but it doesn't always work. I really feel uncomfortable and don't want to end this year disappointed in myself again. There are 3 months left and would want to say at year end that I at least completed one goal.

Okay, tomorrow morning I'm going to put on my tackies and walk. This time it's for real. The weatherman said it's going to rain so then I'll exercise indoors. Good buy bread and chocolate.

I need serious help. Will you be able to help me by checking up on me, a boot up my backside?

I don't have a Fitbit. Maybe we can also Whatsapp (more personal) besides here?

Sorry I am so 'dark', but I just wanted to talk to someone. I feel that my loved ones are tired of my 'moaning'. (I'm going to be honest, I have bipolar mood disorder.) "Normally" I like to laugh and to make jokes.

Hope you had a great weekend and that you stayed out of the fridge and off your couch. emoticon

Thanks for listening. I'm here for anyone of you. My friends say I'm a good listener. emoticon

Annalie from West Coast, South Africa


 current weight: 143.7 
146.4
142.8
139.2
135.6
132
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Inappropriate Post

Other Panic! Button for Immediate Help Topics:

Topics:
Last Post:
4/9/2018 7:31:32 PM
12/17/2018 2:53:39 PM
11/23/2018 12:10:00 PM
2/14/2019 4:49:28 PM

Thread URL: https://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/messageboard.asp?imboard=32&imparent=46693310

Review our Community Guidelines