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DIAMONDTEAR's Photo DIAMONDTEAR SparkPoints: (3,165)
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7/15/18 11:38 P

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Honestly, this is also part of my struggle. Whenever I tried to lose weight as a teen, my family seemed to purposefully buy the junk I loved, like chinese food.... my husband doesnt care for vegetables and while he needs to lose weight just as much as I do, he doesn't want that diet... I made screen savers that are LARGE and say "If it's not GREEN or GROWN, do not eat it!"

You can be an emotional eater, but replace it with healthy habits...celery and peanut butter.... small cottage cheese containers (150-200 calories), making vegetable chips (putting vegetables or fruit cut like chips in the oven until crispy). You can eat mostly green vegetables/general vegetables all that you want....

as previous people stated, make it so that their junk snacks are in a cabinet under a lock they are the only ones with the combination with... get a minifridge strictly for the food you want to, and can only eat....if they cannot support you by eating the same way as you (and although disheartening, it is true) - they might support you by 'smacking the bad food out of your hand'/ encouraging you to stick to the healthy eating style.....

make sticky notes... make backgrounds, stating what you can or cannot eat, that are supportive... it helps. you gradually forget the notes are their but you are still subconsciously seeing them.

 Pounds lost: 7.0 
KGIBSON283's Photo KGIBSON283 Posts: 87
7/14/18 7:26 P

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I completely understand where you are coming from, my husband and our 11 yr old son, 5 grown children are out of the house, want to have chips, candy, snacks cake etc in the house when I am trying to eat healthy, i dedicated 1 cabinet of the pantry to their snacks and I do buy them when i shop and I am tempted sometimes but I also have dedicated a cabinet to my healthy items, they dont eat my things and I dont eat their things :)
They way I have always looked at it is they dont have the relation with food that I do, it is just food to them, they dont turn to it during sadness, stress or happiness like I do, when I make dinner I make the protein that is healthy and different sides, theirs and mine
I am here if ever what to talk

 current weight: 160.4 
WHITE-GREEN's Photo WHITE-GREEN Posts: 3,111
7/14/18 1:29 P

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I understand your disappointment. The idea of having to give up foods we 're addicted to can be so scary that some people just shrink away from it. Your family members did not (yet) get a wake up call.
I agree that it's a good idea to lock away tampting foods in a cabinet. You can also get a Kitchen Safe (cookie jar with time lock). I hope your husband will agree to that.

Also maybe it's best to just start and get going with a healthier lifestyle. Then things may work out in the end. They may just need to see you do it before they get an idea of what it can be like.

 Pounds lost: 20.0 
URBANREDNEK Posts: 4,424
7/11/18 2:52 P

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Here is a scenario that you might find interesting to think about:

You have a massive cut in your leg, which is obviously infected. The infection is giving you a headache. You know that the infection is the problem, and you know that you don't have the tools to heal the infection by yourself at home, but instead of going to the proper medical professional for help to heal the infection, you focus on the headache and demand that your family quit playing their favourite music anywhere around you, forever, because it bothers your head. You feel hurt and upset because they won't give up something that makes them happy, but now can blame them when the headache doesn't go away (and the infection just rages on).

I'm pretty sure that you can see where the logic breaks down in this scenario!

You already know that you have an "infection" - not in your body, but in your mind and emotions. "Food" - either healthy or not so healthy - is neither the problem nor the solution to the infection, and focusing on it will do nothing to promote healing. There is no reason at all to expect that you or anyone else would have all of the necessary tools and knowledge at home to heal this kind of injury, so once you have taken the extremely difficult step of acknowledging the actual problem then it really is time to go to the professionals for help.

Major kudos to you for recognizing the emotional eating (which is also a symptom and NOT the actual injury --- it is trying to treat or distract from mental and emotional stresses with food), and I hope that you now take the next step in talking with your doctor and getting a referral to a therapist who specializes in emotional eating. There are a number of different therapy approaches which can help tremendously in recognizing the actual stressor and actively treating it, while also teaching healthier coping mechanisms that do not involve inappropriate use of food.

While you are getting the assistance that you deserve, I would invite you to start looking at your way of eating from a different perspective. If you forget about focusing on all of the "can't" and "shouldn't" and deprivation diet nonsense, then you can start to focus on what wonderful and delicious new things that you can ADD to your daily menus. If you take a couple of weeks to track what you normally eat, with no attempt to control calories or nutrients or make it "healthier", and take a lot of notes on how hungry you are before and after, and what your mood was, and how much sleep you got, and what you most enjoyed about eat food --- well, that will give you a great basis to start changing things up in ways that you will enjoy even MORE. Take some time to do some exploring of recipes from low carb and keto sites (lots of fabulous ideas on, for example) and from vegetarian sites (great sides and main dishes - and a ton of great spicing ideas), and focus more on overall nutrition and flavour than on calories. Start taking small steps of adding more fruits and vegetables - and on trying different preparations to see what you enjoy the most. Do some experimenting with sauces and "stuffings", to add both flavour and nutrition.

As you start focusing on the nourishment provided by foods, along with making them delicious and satisfying to your own preferences, then you should find the overall calorie intake will gradually fall --- and you will have less and less desire for less nutritious and less tasty foods. Combining this with healing your emotional health and learning healthier coping skills will lead to a much happier and healthier life for you.

This is NOT a high speed approach, and it is not compatible with a "weight loss goal" that has any kind of time constraints. This is also NOT a "treatment" for emotional eating or the mis-use of food and food choices. This is an approach that should work alongside proper treatment, with the "goal" being a gradual makeover of perspective and lifestyle to one that is more healthful and happy --- and which will eventually sustain a healthier body weight for the long term.

You will notice that there is no mention of your family in this approach. The reality is that your family doesn't have the tools and training to help with the treatment of the "infection", and that their own food choices really have nothing to do with what you choose to eat and do. As you develop enough self-love and self-confidence from getting trained professional assistance, you will be more capable of feeling strong in your own choices and not needing others to follow suit in order to feel "supported".

Hoping for good news from your endoscopy, and all of the best to you as you start to take the next steps with professional support to heal the past and move on to greater health and happiness.

Sir Terry Pratchett:

"Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."

Starting weight: 258 lbs
Maintenance Range: 147-155 lbs

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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (208,364)
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7/11/18 11:29 A

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"Food should look like it came from nature, not from a factory."

That is totally spot on, James !

I'm going another pearl of eating wisdom.

Michael Pollan once said,"Don’t eat anything your great-grandmother wouldn’t recognize as food."

-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,312
7/11/18 11:03 A

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you have a number of things going on, and I'll address some of them, but first I'll give a little parallel with my life.

I love sweet thing. Lots of maple syrup on pancakes, ice-cream, chocolate bars, cake, pie, warm pie with melting ice-cream on top, coke, ...

When I got the call that my blood sugar was too high from my doctors office I had just eaten a chocolate bar and washed it down with a can of coke.

Did I "love" those things, or was it an addiction? Were they "good" for me? No, not good, even without blood sugar issues. So now I'm a type-2 diabetic. I can't have those things. How unfair! Everyone else can have them, and I see them in the grocery store everywhere, especially at the checkout counter.

Over time my mindset to that unfairness has changed. Its not a matter of fairness, it just is the way it is.


So you seem to have stressed your body in a different direction, and your body didn't react with high blood sugar but with acid reflux. Here is what you listed eating:
- crap
- ice-cream
- chips
- little debbies

I now eat real food, low carb due to my blood sugar. I do it for me! I know others around me eat carbs all the time, and that is them. I isolate the carbs when cooking for others. So not deep fried breaded meat, but rather baked chicken with a crispy brown seasoned skin (not breaded!).

What does real food look like? Not chips, not debbies. Real food looks like this:
- steak
- baked chicken
- tomatoes
- steamed broccoli
- green beans
- salad
- (a little rice or potatoes, not for me, but others)

Food should look like it came from nature, not from a factory. With that mindset, try to get back to nature. Yes life is not equal or fair. But do what you need to do for your self.

You come back to this post, and I will too. I'm here to support you!

Edited by: -JAMES- at: 7/11/2018 (11:04)
Alberta, Canada

All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)

 current weight: 178.5 
7/11/18 7:46 A

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Since you recognize that you are an emotional eater, that's half the battle.
Hubby sounds like a saboteur anyway and not very supportive, so find your allies elsewhere. Make your eating plan and stick to it. I can't tell you how many pots of rice, potatoes, and pasta I made over the years without a bite. Eventually, all the Little Debbies will catch up with your hubby in the form of high BP or chol and he will have to change his ways if he chooses to live. For now, you must do it for you.

Live, Laugh, Love!!

 current weight: 136.0 
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (208,364)
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7/11/18 6:06 A

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On the one hand, your hubby does have a point. Just because you are on a diet does it mean that the rest of the family needs to be on one.

One thing I've learned from my own years of yo yo dieting is that you can't force someone to want to lose weight or be healthy. This is something they want to do. If you tell someone this is what they have to eat, they'll fight you.

Truthfully, your hubby and kids should not be eating that crap. Before long, they will suffer the consequences of their poor eating habits. So what can you do ? First, you need to listen to your doctor and follow their instructions exactly. If they say no more Little Debbies, no more chips, no more cookies, then you need to listen because this is about getting rid of the acid reflux issues.

You are going to need to buy your own healthy foods. You'll need to buy plenty of fruits, veggies and healthy snacks. Not having a Little Debbie is NOT the end of the world. In fact, I think you'll find how wonderful healthy foods can be.

Your hubby thinks he needs to eat like a rabbit. That's not true. there are TONS of wonderful great tasting healthy recipes that your entire family will and can enjoy.

What you need to do is what is right for you. If that means your family eats the Little Debbies in front of you while you eat a yummy apple with a bit of cinnamon, so be it.

Now, let me tell you what will happen if you can stay on plan. When you lose weight. When your health starts improve. When you start feeling better, your family will notice. Your hubby may decide that it's time to put away the Little Debbies and the junk. He may decide to eat more fresh salads. Why ? Because he sees how much better you look and feel as a result of giving up the junk.

And you know what ? Your tastes will change with time. Things I used to eat taste pretty gross to me now. I used to eat at KFC. I used to eat tons of junk. I ate the Little Debbies to. Today, I eat plenty of fresh fruit and veggies. And it tastes wonderful !

Here's something else I learned from my own years of dieting.

"If you eat crap, you feel like crap"

That's the truth. Give up the Little Debbies and you will feel 100 times better !

As far as the emotional eating, you're going to need to find ways to vent your stress that don't involve food. When I get stressed out, I take a walk. a long walk. Walking is not going great exercise, it's a great way to reduce stress. So the next time you feel like walking to the kitchen for a Little Debbie, get out of the house and take a 20-30 minute walk.

It takes time, but you really can make a change for the better. You've got to have some faith that you are doing the right thing for you first and then your family.

You need to set the example. You can't force them to give up the junk. They have to want to do it.

One thing to do, go out and buy some fresh fruit for YOUR snacks. cherries and blueberries are in season and on sale. buy whatever fruit is on sale and when you feel like a snack, have a piece of fruit. There is a lot to learn, so don't beat yourself up if you're not perfect.

LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 28,241
7/10/18 10:02 P

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Perhaps he can keep those things in a special cabinet, even under lock and key since you are an emotional eater.
Do you do the shopping? You can make sure those things aren't brought into the house.
Do you do the cooking?

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
MDMP2013's Photo MDMP2013 Posts: 65
7/10/18 9:39 P

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Tonight I talked to my hubby about my upcoming Endoscopy (acid reflux issues). I mentioned that they will probably tell me to stop eating all the stuff I like to eat. I then said that we would have to all change our eating habits because my will power to not eat the crap that my husband and kids like to eat is very low. He then told me, nope, they shouldn't have to change the way they eat just because I may have to change what I eat. They shouldn't be penalized because I can't eat it. This hurt. He said they can support me in different ways, but giving up fried foods, Little Debbies, Ice cream, chips, etc. is something that they shouldn't have to do. I'm not sure how to respond, though I'm certainly hurt. I really thought that he would try. Instead he basically said, nope, not going to do it. I don't know what I'll do. I'm an emotional eater and I turn to carbs, sweets, etc. when I'm depressed, bored, happy, you name it. I am not strong enough now to say no to these things. I'm hurt and feeling like I'll never lose this weight.

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