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5/6/18 8:07 P

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Look at me when I lost the weight and was motivated:

Now look at me after my Mother almost died and is being taken to the midwest to live in a old folks home, after I had Acute Bronchitis, and became depressed. I had to try hard to smile in this pic. I gained half my weight back.

And in the 2nd pic: It looks like the spark went out of my eyes compared to the first pic of me with the blue lipstick. Spark in eyes in first pic, then no spark. Emptiness.

You an see the weight gain in my face, and my stomach is distended. I also am eating off my plan somewhat too, however slowly getting back on it;

I lost interest in everything during this time: dancing, movies, socializing, and at times, life. I am almost back to normal and bought a new dance DVD to start some new dance routines. I think I was also bored with the dance routines I was doing.

So, what I'm saying, is I became so unmotivated and sad, that I could not budge for almost 6 months, but am now mostly back on track.

Edited by: SHIMMERSPARK at: 5/6/2018 (20:10)

 current weight: 193.0 
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5/5/18 12:47 A

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Experience has shown me that when I am not happy with my progress and go off track I end up in a situation that is worse than where I was. Even if you only show a one pound loss in a month, that is still progress. Sure. More would be better, but if you go off track, by next month it may be a gain. So even if it does not seem to be as much as you would like you are still that much ahead of the game. I have given up so many times when I was not as successful as I wanted to be. If I had kept on track....well, I'd be so much closer to my goal. Don't rush through this. And celebrate every loss. Where will you be in a year if you give up?


"I have not been placed on this earth to fit your mold or conform to what makes you feel more comfortable with my existence." Michelle Steinke

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

 Pounds lost: 1.4 
URBANREDNEK Posts: 5,162
4/16/18 3:55 P

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Major kudos for realizing that you are getting in to a disordered mindset, and for reaching out for help!

Since you've recognized that focusing on weight loss is a "trigger" for you to fall back in to an unhealthy relationship with food and with your body, perhaps the best thing that you could do for yourself is to ditch the scale and change your focus. As has been mentioned, professional help with doing so is a HUGE asset if you can do so!

Think about focusing on food as being fuel, and nutrition, and flavour --- with the emphasis on choosing foods that you love and which are nutrient-rich. How does it make you feel if you consider that as an option - especially if you ignore the calories and your weight? Would you be able to get to a point where you are mentally and emotionally comfortable with not knowing / caring about calories but instead focus on getting in all of your needed vitamins and minerals? Would you be comfortable with setting yourself up with a rough meal-plan / guideline for the week (so that you can settle on a shopping list, and have some stuff prepped or batch-cooked, and get things defrosted in a timely manner) that is focused on nutrition --- and then just follow it (so that you don't have to spend more time than necessary thinking about food)?

If you can wrap your head around the idea that "healthy is what is important: calories and the scale are not on the priority list", then that might just be the best step for you to take right now. Hide or throw away the scale, quit tracking for calories, and focus on getting in lots of nutrient rich foods, with a balanced approach that suits your personal preferences and schedule (if you're a natural Intermittent fast type person, then doing 6 mini-meals per day is gonna make you nuts!).

I suspect that you'll find that a few months of settling in to a focus on healthy and delicious, and on building your comfort level with paying attention to what makes you feel good and what makes you happy, will help to make you feel less inclined to fall down the "rabbit hole" of scale obsession again --- and you might just find that a new and healthier way of living has kind of snuck up on you!

Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back for recognizing the danger signs, and for knowing yourself well enough to know when it is time to change things up. Keep the focus on "healthy and happy", and just keep taking baby steps, and you'll be fine!

Sir Terry Pratchett:

"Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."

Starting weight: 258 lbs
Maintenance Range: 147-155 lbs

246 Maintenance Weeks
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4/16/18 3:37 P

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What has helped me is to focus on measures that aren't the scale. Like, did I eat 5 servings of produce? Did I get in 8-10K steps? Did I increase the weight/reps in my strength routine? Did I drink water? Did I eat a healthy breakfast?

Also, taking measurements has been so much more gratifying than the scale for me. I hold onto to weight but I have noticed I am down a clothing size and going and up and down stairs is becoming no big deal and my knees hurt less. I rest less in my vinyassa yoga class. The scale says I have only lost about 8 pounds but my life has changed a great deal.

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4/16/18 11:08 A

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you said you have not been loosing weight "consistently". Is it however in a downward trend?

One thing for sure, just because weight goes up one week, that is no reason to throw in the towel and say this isn't working, so I might as well go off the deep end and eat (fill in the blank ...), and (another blank ...) and ...

Alberta, Canada

All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)

 current weight: 178.5 
4/15/18 11:13 P

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Hi,,, Welcome to Sparks!!! As with another post, I also strongly suggest working with an ED counselor. It'll only benefit you the whole way around

Its taken me years, but I'm losing. Its not fast, but its really about the weight loss, as it is about the way we change on the inside. Our minds, our core beliefs about ourselves. Its the real reward

EST - Greater Portland Area in Maine
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Spirited Under Dogs (Dawgs) a team with the 5% Challenge. As the Motivational Leader since 2011

I'm/possible NOT Impossible

 current weight: 163.0 
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4/14/18 9:36 A

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Your doing the right thing for your family by being the best example you can be. You just need to keep on doing what you been doing, but giving yourself more credit for what you been doing right in order to motivate you to make still further changes. I had difficulty losing weight also but after I learned to be more grateful for what I had and after reading cognitive behavior books such as Linda Spangle's book 100 Days of Weight Loss (1) and Judith Beck's book The Beck Diet Solution (2) , I realized that being grateful for my current situation and "knowing" that the past does not define me, gave me the power to succeed.
(1) see the spark team at for more information
(2) see the Spark team at

Edited by: OLDEROWL at: 4/14/2018 (10:06)
I'm Bob. I am retired and live in Virginia, USA (EDT) with my wife. I a team leader of a remarkable team.

Our goal is to help all members obtain enthusiasm and share our joy, for we are alive and can have great potential for success by using our inner powers. The joy is in the shared journey of life whether it be ordinary or extraordinary.

 current weight: 5.4  over
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4/13/18 9:54 P

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It sounds to me like you could do with a little qualified help at this point of time, so you don't slip back into old habits. I would talk with your Dr about what you are wanting to do and if he/she isn't aware of your disordered eating history, then ensure that he/she is aware, and ask for a referral to a Registered Dietitian. If you still at risk of reverting to your old eating habits, a referral to a Therapist who deals with Disordered Eating would also be very beneficial.

Do remember tho' that most people don't experience weight-loss in an even down-ward drop. Many of us have some ups as well as downs, and at varying speeds.

Good luck,

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression

Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial)

Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me

I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan

 current weight: 154.0 
ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (209,744)
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4/13/18 5:24 P

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I give all new members one piece of advice and it's this,"don't look at good health with an all or nothing mentality". If the only healthy thing you did today was drink 8 glasses of water, that's still a step in the right direction.

The fact is, the weight doesn't magically disappear because you've decided to eat a little better and get some exercise. If it took you years to pack on the weight, it's going to take longer than a few short weeks or months to take it off.

You're not a machine who can eat right 24/7. Stop trying to be perfect. You don't have to be perfect to be healthy.

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4/13/18 1:39 P

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I need some support right now. I have not been losing weight very consistently and I am scared that I will fall back on habits that are not healthy for me. I have been recovered from an eating disorder for years, but it is tugging at my brain since the pounds are not falling off the way I am doing it. Make it clear that I don't want to go down that path, but it just seems so easy right now. Thanks for listening.

 Pounds lost: 5.0 
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