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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
5/19/18 10:05 P

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Thank you James for the cyber hug!

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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
5/19/18 10:03 P

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Hi Archimedes,

I recently started back at graduate school, after taking a semester off for that intense military training course that took me out of state and away from home and school. I am in my practicum year where I am required to do a 20-hour per week (unpaid) internship. The previous semester prior to my leave of absence, I was doing 16 hours a week for my practicum, and I was able to split that into 2 8-hour days per week, but now that I am required to do more hours, I had to split it up into 3 days.

The agency where my practicum is located is a 45-minute or longer drive each way, depending on traffic. After getting up really early, usually 4:00 a.m., walking and feeding my dog, making a quick breakfast, packing a lunch, getting dressed and making an early commute to try and miss traffic and spending 6-8 hours per day (3 days a week) at the internship, I make the drive home (and hopefully time it right so the traffic isn't too horrendous), get home, walk and feed my dog, eat dinner, and then head to work to my (paid) part-time (non-military) job for 3 hours in the evenings (3 nights a week). I only get paid for the time I am actually at work, and not for any of the time spent preparing worksheets, hand-outs, doing research, or anything else related to work. It's done on my own time, and I am not compensated for the time spent at Staples or Office Depot making copies or for the paper I use for the materials.

Then, once I get home from work from my part-time job which are on the same evenings that I have my internship hours during the 3 days, I walk my dog again and try to spend some time with her after being gone most of the day and most of the night, and feeling incredibly guilty for feeling that I am neglecting her. I don't have anyone else to help me with her. Afterward, I stay up to do homework for classes, answer emails for the military (which then turns into more work, since I have to usually do the tasks that are mentioned in the emails) or I am studying for a class that is meeting the next day, or preparing for a (military-related) meeting or teleconference scheduled for that week.

On the days I don't have internship or my part-time job, I am in classes, having meetings with classmates for group projects, going to medical or other appointments, or I am doing some type of military duty or training. Those days are just as full. On the weekends, if I don't have military duty, I am catching up...catching up on sleep, laundry, chores, errands, homework, paying bills, or anything else I couldn't get to during the week when I am awake for an 18-20 hour day. I don't get a lunch break at my internship. I am supposed to, but the agency is so short-staffed right now, that when a (paid) employee wants to take their lunch break, that person will have me or the other intern cover their duties, and I am lucky if I have 15-20 minutes to eat. Yes, every agency I have ever conducted a practicum at takes advantage of the interns because we are unpaid and they see us as free labor. There are times I will get a very short break before or after lunch, but most of the time I am going from one activity to the next, and no one will even ask if I have eaten or even had a restroom break. They are more concerned on whether or not they can get their own break and if there is coverage. I am actually supposed to be doing some school-related activities while I am at the agency, but since most of the employees do not have a clue on what my internship entails, they treat me and the other intern like worker-bees and go-fers. I've already come across some lazy employees that will give me tasks to do and go sit in their office relaxing while I am doing work that they are getting paid to do. I've already made waves there because I spoke up about it and there's one employee who has threatened to not sign off on my hours even though she does not even supervise me and is not anyone who I report to.

My "break" is the time when I am driving home, eating dinner and taking care of my dog before leaving again to go to work. Nowhere in that time is there any moment to spare for a nap or any exercise.

I don't ever have a full day off, even on the weekends. On the weekends I have military duty, I am working both days for 8-10 hours, and then right back to the Monday-Friday schedule I mentioned above. Trying to juggle the internship, a part-time job, and my military duties (where I am in a supervisory position) does not allow me to have any extra time off. If I end up spending too much time on chores or errands, or cooking, I experience tremendous stress that I have fallen behind and cannot catch up. If one thing drops, the whole thing will unravel.


This has been my life for the past two years that I have been in graduate school. I have another year before I graduate, as long as I do everything on time to complete my requirements. Each day I tell myself to "keep my eye on the prize" and it will be worth it in the end.



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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,020
5/16/18 8:26 P

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Maria,
cyber-hug from me.

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James


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5/16/18 6:58 P



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Maria,

What are you doing for a straight 20 hours starting at 4am ? It's no wonder you're exhausted if you're only getting 4 hours or less sleep per night. I'm sure even the military isn't expecting you to work for 20 hours a day. How many days a week are you expected to work whatever shift you have ?

When does your work day start ? How long is your commute ? Even if you're working 10-12 hour shifts, you still get breaks. How many breaks do you get during the day ? Do you have time to get in a lunchtime workout ? if you get an hour for lunch, you could do a 30 minute workout and still have 20-30 to eat.

I've worked 10-12 shifts, but I wasn't expected to do them every day. Which means you should have weekends or at least one day off. If so, that's the day you do most of your cooking as well as get in longer workouts.

Plus regular exercise can help reduce a person's stress. Sounds like you've been having a stressful few weeks.

Remember, if you don't have any support at home, you can always come here and the Spark community will support you. Need a cyber hug ? just say having a bad day, need a hug.

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Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 5/17/2018 (06:00)
-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,020
5/16/18 3:32 P

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Maria,
I know what you mean. If I gain weight, it seems to be done in a week or two.

If I want to loose weight it takes longer, much longer (like a month or two). I eat very low carb, and yet its not a magic pill for weight loss either. In my mind it keeps hunger more even, but one still needs to eat less, and that is the hard part for me. Even low carb has plenty of very tasty things.

I just can't eat for "entertainment" ... or else.

James


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 178.5 
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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
5/16/18 12:13 P

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An update to my progress:

My weight loss has been at a snail's pace, but on a positive note, I haven't gained. I lost another pound, which probably took a month, and now I am back to the weight I was before I went to my intensive training course at the beginning of the year. Who knew that a 4-pound weight gain over 6 weeks time would take almost 3 months to lose. Still looking at losing 10 more pounds to at least get to where I was before when I was feeling really good and in shape. Of course, back at that time, I had time to work out twice a day.

My schedule has gotten even more difficult. There are 20-hour days I am up in the morning at 4:00 a.m. to start my day, and don't finally go to sleep until midnight, with only an hour of down time in the middle of all that. So, still, no time for exercise other than taking my dog for 2-3 short 10-minute walks in the mornings and evenings. My schedule is going to be like this until at least the end of summer.

On weekends, I have been cooking meals in small batches and freezing some of them to eat during the week rather than grabbing a fast food or eating junk. I got rid of 90% of the junk food in the house. I threw out all of the chips, pretzels, candy and sweets. I stopped buying them. Although last night at the grocery store, I did look at a bag of cheese puffs, but then put them back. I still crave baked goods once in a while, but I found a bakery that prepares fresh bread and baked goods daily, and sells slices of cakes and cookies individually, so the rare times that I did want a baked good, I bought one cookie or one Danish at a time. Even the Danish I cut in half and had it last for more than a day.

I've only eaten out a small handful of times over the past 2 months. I mostly eat at home now and have been trying to make a good effort to add fruit and vegetables with each meal. As busy as I am, it seems it would be quicker and more convenient to just grab a fast food or take away, but I have found I feel better and haven't had as many digestion issues (acid reflux, etc) ever since I started eating more at home. Meal preps and washing lots of dishes and pots and pans does factor into my time management much more, but so far I have been able to manage it.

Not to say I am doing anything perfectly by any means, I find I do have to adjust things as I go along, and there are days I have very low energy, but since it's just me at home right now, I am the only one who can get it all done so I keep telling myself to hang in there. It's going to be a long road going forward, since my significant other has been away at military training for almost 2 months and will be leaving again soon to go out of the country for a year.

I have no real support. It's funny how you think you have a lot of friends (mine and his) and they say, "oh if you need anything let me know," but when it comes down to it, suddenly they are "too busy" or "have things going on," well, we all have things going on, but they are not alone doing it, they have help. Most of my family members are geographically too far to be supportive and I understand it, and it makes it hard because I miss them and we do have close relationships but it would be nice to have something more than phone calls. If only once if I could have someone wash dishes and clean house so that I could take a short nap. I really am that tired.

When my significant other was home, he really did a lot with cleaning house, cooking, laundry, and it was a really big help when my schedule got crazy and we're always able to trade off on things for the times both of our schedules get crazy, being a dual-military couple.

I don't know why I am mentioning this, probably because I am trying to keep my spirits up and not wanting to get depressed or feel sorry for myself. I don't really feel sorry for myself, just tired and a bit lonesome I suppose.

Thanks for listening!



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4/15/18 4:35 A



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Podiatrists are great for the orthotics. Just remember where it comes to that sort of thing, it isn't a case of 'one-size-fits-all' - As an example, my sister's orthotics are totally different to my son's orthotics with where they are built up and by how much and with the angle, too.

Kris

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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/15/18 3:47 A

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Hi Archimedes,

the weigh in is normally conducted every six months; however, the standard is that we all have to be prepared at any time to have a weigh in or to do a physical fitness test since the regulations state that we have to be ready at all times. The last weigh in before this current one was in January, and I passed and I wasn't even worried about it. I am guessing the next one will be in six months. I knew about the weigh in probably 2-3 weeks beforehand.

I weighed myself this morning at home, exactly one week since my weigh in at my unit, and I'm down 3 pounds from what the scale at the unit reads. The changes I have made with my eating just in the past week were: drinking more water, eating more fruits and vegetables at each meal, and limiting snacks. I haven't been eating nearly as much but I don't feel hungry either. I have more than enough to keep me busy. I also made an effort to keep up with taking my vitamins and supplements nearly every day. Often times, I would forget to take them for days, and most of them are prescribed, so my doctor knows by how often I order the refills as to whether or not I am taking them regularly.

I've even travelled again for military duty since my weigh-in and I managed to not eat much junk and I haven't had any soda for a few days. I'm not much of a soda drinker anyway, so it doesn't bother me to not have it.

I have to travel again in about 2 1/2 weeks. I think by then I should be somewhat back to a routine enough to keep on a good track.

I still haven't gotten back into a regular exercise routine. If I knew the answer to the "why" that you asked (as far as knowing what I had to do and not wanting to do it) then I wouldn't be where I am at. I feel like I am in a Catch-22. I am too exhausted to exercise, and yet, I know if I exercise, I will have more energy, and I am too tired. I am hoping that once I get all the travelling out of the way, I can get into a better sleep schedule and won't feel so tired all the time. I've been in 3 different time zones over the past few weeks.




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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/15/18 3:21 A

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Hi LJSHRINKS,

Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. I should change my thinking and try to do as you have said with the 10 minutes a day or some stretching. I have found on the days that I get so busy that I don't know if I will have time to exercise, I end up not doing it, when I really should try to do something. Better than nothing.



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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/15/18 3:17 A

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Hi Kris,

I did notice that my footwear does wear more on one side than the other. I have tried arch supports and they don't seem to help and are uncomfortable. I may need to look into getting some orthotics. It would be nice if the VA could cover the cost. As for the boots I use when I am on duty, I don't have a choice on those, since they are issued to me. I received a new pair, but have to wait on the uniform that goes with them before I can wear them. My current boots are probably 9 years old if I were to guess. Trying to get replacement boots or uniforms is like waiting for hell to freeze over.



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4/8/18 4:13 P



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Maria,

when is your next weigh in ? Does the military check every two months or once a year ? How long have you known this weigh in was coming ?

You said you've had a lot of work related stress because of travel, study and new projects. That can throw anyone off their normal routine. But you've also said you haven't been eating right or exercising beyond taking your dog for a walk.

Well, if you are ready to really lose the weight, what are you going to do about it ? The only reason you just made your weigh in was because you've been panicking about it for the past two weeks. What about two months ago ? What kept you from starting then ? If you're next weigh in isn't for another six months, what's to keep you from doing exactly the same thing ?

You said you weren't doing the right things for yourself. You knew what you had to do, but you didn't want to do it. Okay, why ? because you don't want the next six months being like your last six months if you want to lose weight.

You need to find a way to get back your motivation. You lost your mojo.

Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 4/8/2018 (16:14)
LJSHRINKS's Photo LJSHRINKS Posts: 788
4/8/18 10:25 A

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I realize this may sound like a small drop for someone as conditioned as you, but on my return here I've found the 'just 10 minutes a day' schtick a real game changer for me. On days my body doesn't feel like it can move, I can get out my yoga mat to at least stretch, or get on my exercise bike to light resistance pedal. The game of keeping that 'nothing' streak has suddenly brought me to more movement, pain free, than I've been able to achieve in a decade,because more days than not the stretch turns into a walk or a longer pedal time or.... In a weird way it's like once I got mentally out of the tension of being in the way of myself the waters started parting.

Best to you in finding your 'click.'

*Leia from WA

'Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.' -- Brene Brown


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4/8/18 6:40 A



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Just a thought .... what is your footwear like. Are they a correct fit? Do they give plenty of support and accommodate your feet properly? (as in correct arch support) Have a look at the soles of your shoes? are they wearing down a lot on on one side and not the other? This latter one is a good indicator that your shoes in that form aren't right for you. It could indicate the need for orthotics in your shoes.

The reason I ask is because my son needed orthotics re similar symptoms.

Kris

Co-Moderator Dealing with Depression
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=953


Team Leader Essential Tremors :-) (Benign and Familial) www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=30225


Co-Leader Crohn's Can't Stop Me
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ndividual.asp?gid=17464


I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/8/18 3:19 A

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I barely passed my weigh-in. I am right at the maximum allowance for the standard. I don't feel like it's a victory, though, because I am feeling like I almost got away with something. It's not a good feeling.

I have a lot of work to do!



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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/8/18 3:16 A

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Hi James,

That is very interesting about the stuck calf muscles. Like you, I was hobbling and having difficulty walking. The pain associated with the plantar fasciitis seems to have subsided. The pain in my hip and hamstrings doesn't seem to be improving. I thought maybe my hip and hamstrings are because I wasn't walking correctly.



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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,020
4/6/18 9:37 P

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MARIA11X,
with my plantar fasciitis my calf muscle didn't bother me a bit, but the tendon on the bottom of my foot sure did. I was hobbling. I bought insoles, I wore stiff soled shoes.

I told the massage therapist that my calf was fine, that it was the bottom of my foot that was the problem. After digging into my calf, and finding sore muscles, I finally agreed, yes the calf had a problem. Muscles get stuck together in the calf, loose mobility and that puts stress on the tendon.

So she worked the stuck muscles apart, the slipped across each other, and stress on the tendon was off.

James


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 178.5 
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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/5/18 6:52 P

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Hi James,

I have dealt with plantar fasciitis in the past, so I am familiar with that pain. Lately, it doesn't seem to be bothersome, thankfully. I did not feel any pain on my calves or right hamstring either, except during the massage, as you mentioned.

I have never had a relaxation massage either, and even if I were to ever have one, I don't think I could relax!

The massage therapist mentioned that the muscles on one side of my back (left) are much tighter than the other side. Perhaps once I am retired from the military, this will improve. I blame it on the fact that we are accustomed to carrying everything on the left side so as to keep the right hand empty in case rendering a salute is necessary.



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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/5/18 6:43 P

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Hi Archimedes,

I agree with you, and the older I get, it is becoming more apparent that self-care is needed.

During my last rehab visit, the therapist was helping me to create a daily/weekly schedule, and after I made the schedule accounting for work, school, military duty, and travel, I realized that I did not add in time during the day for relaxation and exercising. So I have to go back and re-do it. I have another therapist, an occupational therapist who is helping me with organization and progressive muscle relaxation.

I may look into the spanx as opposed to purchasing a larger uniform. The uniforms are normally issued and not purchased, and if I were to pay for one, they are very expensive. It's too bad we aren't allowed to wear any spanx or spandex under the uniform during the weigh-in! emoticon



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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,020
4/5/18 8:52 A

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MARIA11X,
I've gone for some therapeutic massages myself, never a relaxation one.

One session was to deal with plantar fasciitis. The tendon on the bottom of my foot was sore. She worked on my calf muscle, which wasn't bothering me, but deep inside something there was very sore, though I didn't feel it at all except during the massage.

In 3 to 4 sessions, ... cured. Then there were other things that didn't really bother me, various muscles which the therapist could feel were not soft enough, or smooth enough. She found them, ouch ...., I have to be better for it. On a second or third session I said your not pressing as hard as before, and she said she was, just that my muscles were in better shape.

Not relaxing.

James


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 178.5 
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4/5/18 6:00 A



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"Someone today joked that when you are competent at your job and you are knowledgeable and diligent, you are rewarded with more work."

Ain't that the truth !!

Maria, it's tough to take care of yourself when your job involves a lot of travel as well as extra work. But you have to carve out some time in the day to take care of your needs. When you don't take care of yourself, you start falling apart inside and out.

So, in that fully packed schedule of yours, you need to block off some ME time. You've been taking care of the needs of the military and your family, time to take care of yourself.

As far as your uniforms, this is just a temporary work around while you SLOWLY
work to lose the weight. Go buy a pair of spanx or a good quality foundation undergarment. I'm telling you, the spanx can take a couple of inches off your waist/hips.

And well, you may just need to buy a slightly larger sized uniform so that you aren't torturing yourself. Seriously. I understand that you think that wearing the tight uniform will force you to lose, but it doesn't seem to be working. Either get the spanx or buy a bigger uniform. Like I said, you use them as you lose slowly weight.

And I'll tell you what my doctor loves to tell me when I limp into his office with an injury,"Do you enjoy living with pain ?"

that's why it's time to start taking care of your needs.



MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
4/5/18 12:59 A

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Thank you to everyone for your responses. I've been away from home (out-of-state) for training most of this week. I return home in a couple of days, I'll be home for half a day, go to my duty station for one day for weigh-in and physical fitness test, and then travel again out of state for another training. I have been feeling very uncomfortable in my uniform, with the trousers squeezing my waist. I had been to a point where it wasn't squeezing my waist and I wasn't as uncomfortable, but for the past month, it's been like this again.

I found out today that I have been given an additional duty assignment that will have me traveling again in the near future. I hope that one day this can all slow down. Someone today joked that when you are competent at your job and you are knowledgeable and diligent, you are rewarded with more work.

The day before I left for training, I went to have a deep tissue therapeutic massage and I did not realize how much pain I've actually been experiencing. I thought the pain was only in my left hip and left hamstring. I discovered pain in both calves and in my right hamstring as well. It was excruciating, I was almost crying.

I have been making extra effort to ensure that I have been taking my vitamins and supplements each day, and I've been at least on track with that, even though my eating has not been the best (due to traveling and being away from home).

Thanks again for all the encouragement!





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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,020
3/30/18 10:18 A

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Maria,
as I read it, it sounds like in a little over a week you have your physical fitness test. If you don't think you are going to pass, then I see no way to get fit in 10 days.

Yes, one can push hard (no pain no gain sort of thing), but chances are you get micro-tears in muscles, part of rebuilding, but not enough time to heal, and worse than that, the chance of injuring other things that will take a lot longer to heal.

Like weight loss, fitness takes time, and continual effort, and slow improvement. I'm one for continual and slow. It has should become part of a regular day, a habit, not like cramming for an exam.



James


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


 current weight: 178.5 
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WHITE-2's Photo WHITE-2 Posts: 388
3/29/18 4:12 P

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Reading this thread I tend to agree with Archimedes-II.
My thought is that maybe your body and mind are telling you that you NEED.REST.NOW.
You have been through so much. Don't let that internal criticizing voice whip you into trying harder, and harder. I don't know if the army allows for self-compassion. But it sounds like you really need it.



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3/29/18 2:06 P

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3/27/18 9:20 A



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Maria,

You've had three significant head injuries over the years. That does effect your physical performance. And because of those previous injuries, you can't expect your body to do what you want. Just as an example, Peyton Manning recovered from what should have been a career ending neck injury. He did recover. He did go back to playing football. he was NOT the same. It doesn't matter what a great quarterback he was, his injury inhibited his performance.

I completely understand that you want to be considered for a promotion. However, I think you need to fail the weigh in and the physical. Your head is not where it needs to be. And being on a six months weight loss program should give you the structure and discipline you need in order to really lose the weight in a SAFE and healthy manner.

Yes, there are things I can tell you to do which would help you lose 5-7 pounds fast. however, you wont learn anything. Failing the tests is a learning experience you need. How many awards or citations do you need to prove to yourself that you have value ? That's part of the problem. It's not just being type A. it's about not putting a higher value on yourself, your skills or your abilities.

In short, if you fail, it gives you six months to lose the weight in a safe and healthy manner. It gives you six months to slowly rehabilitate your body so that you can become fit again. And honestly, you have to accept that your head injuries do limit what you can do now. Like Peyton Manning, you're not the same person. You're putting too much stress on yourself to do X, Y and Z.

My advice is to fail those tests. Take the six months time to take care of yourself so that when it's time for the next exams, you EXCEED expectations.

Let me tell you my reasons for telling you it's better to fail. When I was in college, I was a decent student, but not straight A. I was struggling in some classes. I was making myself nuts. If I didn't pass, I'd have to drop out of a program. The problem was that I wouldn't accept that I didn't understand the material. Just thought if a crammed for weeks, I'd pass. nope. I was failing. What did I do ? Someone asked me why I didn't work with a tutor. I thought, I'm a smart person. I don't need a tutor. Truth was, I did need a tutor. Eventually, I got a tutor who helped me understand what I was doing wrong. Guess what ? I got a B in the class.

Since then, whenever I have material I don't understand, I seek out the help of a tutor. I accepted that I had limitations. You need to accept that too. That's why you need six months to get back on your feet. Type A people think failure is the worst thing that can happen. Wrong. it can be the best thing that can happen.




SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (269,751)
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3/27/18 2:27 A



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I suggest that the day before you are due to do your physical exercise part, give yourself a day off or go for a small walk so that you are fresher.

I am glad that you are back in therapy. I had a chart that was broken down into morning; mid morning; noon; early a/noon; late a/noon; and, evening. It had columns for exercise; nutrition; rest/relaxation. I had to put down the times that I started/finished each activity and how I felt doing each of them. It sure helps to identify where and how you need to make tweaks so that you can function properly. The first week there was no problem. The second week cracks started to show. The end of the third week I wasn't able to do as much and I was needed more rests/sleeps. By the end of the 6th week I was a mess. The day after I put my groceries away I discovered I had put my tomatoes in the display case in the lounge. I would have to have a bit of a sleep while I was out before driving home. I couldn't remember where I kept my tea towels, even tho' they had been in exactly the same place for about 15 years at that time. The scariest was I was forgetting to turn my stove-top elements off and leaving the oven on all night, and I very briefly dropped of to asleep while driving. I was taking my stepfather to a Urologist appointment. I woke and had to swerve back onto my side of the road ..... I was heading straight toward another car coming the other way.

Remember .... take good care of yourself, and just remember, regardless of what you are wanting to do re remaining in the Army, your health MUST come first. I experienced this. My life has never been the same, but it isn't bad. It is just different. I am on a benefit as a result of it, and the added complication of having skeletal issues and environmental allergies which all adds up to limited employability.

Hugs,
Kris

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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
3/27/18 12:22 A

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Hi Slimmerkiwi,

Yes, I have had 3 significant head injuries over the years, all related to my military service. I have recently started seeing a therapist again who specializes in cognitive rehabilitation, and she told me that it is very common for people who have had head trauma to be fatigued. She has been encouraging me to conserve my energy so that I am not too worn out to complete all of the tasks I need to do throughout the day. There are days I tend to over-do it and then I am left feeling quite exhausted.

Yes, the 6-week intensive training was for the Army. I am scheduled to travel again next week for some additional training, but it will not be as intensive. I am hoping that the hotel I am staying at has a gym or fitness room so that I can utilize it during my time away from home.

If someone presented to me in the way I presented in my post, I would ask them how they are benefitting from not exercising, or I would point out the discrepancy of where they are saying they want to exercise, but their actions are showing otherwise, so in a sense, what is it that they really want?

I could improve on my nutrition as well. The trouble with traveling is not always having the food choices you want.



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MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
3/26/18 11:56 P

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Hi Archimedes!

My all-or-nothing thinking is related to how I've been trained in the military. Everything we do is pass or fail. There is no credit given for effort. If I don't make the weigh-in, I will be put on a weight control program where I will be expected to lose a certain amount within a certain time (usually 6 months) but during that time, I am considered "flagged," which means I will not be given consideration for any promotions, awards, or any positive rewards until I am no longer "flagged." Right now, I'm maybe 5-6 pounds over my maximum allowance for standards.

Same if I don't pass the physical fitness test, I would be "flagged" until I pass the test. There is a promotion board coming up and I want to be up for consideration.

Last October, I failed the physical fitness test for the first time in 8 years. I was extremely disappointed. I passed it in December and again in January. I haven't struggled with the test this much in a lot of years. In October, I started having a lot of pain in my hamstring and my hip on the left side. It is from an old injury (military-related) which has snuck up on me recently.

I started to think that I am possibly rebelling in a way, because of the intense training I went through for 6 weeks, it's as though my body just doesn't want to continue. At first I told myself I would take a break and start again, but then the break has gone on for too long.

I have just a bit more than 4 years before I am eligible for retirement, and this past few months have been the most challenging. I have been feeling the "blahs" and it's feeling harder to hang in there.

If I saw my post from another member, I would encourage the person to take it easy on himself/herself and start slowly like you said. Someone else pointed out to me recently that I do beat myself up quite a lot. I don't think it helps me. I do need to get out of that habit. My father is a retired military member, so the criticism has gone on for most of my life. That along with the "gung ho" tendency.



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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (269,751)
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3/26/18 10:57 P



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I seem to recall your having suffered a head trauma in the past. Is it possible that this could be impacting on you? I suffered one in October of 2001 and even now, I am left too fatigued to do anything much if I overdo it a bit - old problems creep back in. Even just thinking about it is fatiguing. The rest of the time I function pretty normally. You have been on an intensive 6 week course .... I take it it is related to the Reserve Army?

I wonder if giving yourself a few days to recover and then starting off again might be the answer.

As far as the Psychological aspect, you have done Psychology ..... what would you tell someone if they presented to you in the way you present? Write down what you would prescribe in bullet form, and then make a daily chart and practice it, ticking each one off as you go.

Remember good nutrition - and keep the sodium level down.

Good luck,
Kris

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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (206,520)
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3/26/18 3:45 P



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Welcome back, Maria !

It's tough to get back into a routine when you're physically and mentally exhausted.

Some times exercise can make us feel better and some times it can make things worse. If you're walking the dog three times a day, that's a start. instead of beating yourself up because you aren't doing more, find ways to make those walks a little active. Try picking up your pace and walking a little more briskly. take a route that gets you walking up some hills.

Start slowly so that your body has time to ease back into a regular routine. Don't try to go gung ho with exercise in order to meet your weigh in two weeks from now. you'll just make yourself miserable.

How much weight do you need to lose ? Killing yourself with exercise or starving yourself might get you to that weight, but what happens after the physical ? do you regain the weight ? that's what will mostly likely happen if you crash diet for the next two weeks.

Let me ask you this, what happens if you don't meet the weigh in ? The military wont discharge you. If anything, you will be told to lose X pounds by Y date. that will at least give your body time to adapt. It will give you time to get your head together. Because from your post, your head is not in the right place to lose.

I've said this before, in order for a person to change their body, they have to change their head. There is no way your head is going to change in two weeks. therefore, you have to be ready to accept the consequences of not making your weigh in. That is realistic.

What to do ? slow down. think rationally. If you saw this post from another member, how would YOU advise them ?

MARIA11X's Photo MARIA11X Posts: 551
3/26/18 2:37 P

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I'm back at Spark after being away for a long while. I was at a training earlier this year for 6 weeks, which was very mentally and physically challenging. 10-12 hour days of non-stop activities, studying, testing, evaluations, physical training...challenging every fiber of my being. Since being home, my schedule has been a bit more relaxed, but still busy every day.

I cannot seem to get back into my regular routine. I am extremely fatigued, and I know that exercising would give me the boost of energy that I need, yet I cannot seem to do it. The most "exercise" I have been able to do is taking my dog for 3 short walks a day (adding up to maybe 30 minutes a day) but walking with her is actually too slow for the level of intensity I need to make a difference.

I'm also having aches and pains which would be alleviated from exercise, and even as I tell myself this, I cannot get started. I tell myself if I were to start, I would be able to jump back in, and yet, I don't know what is blocking me.

I've even said that I should just do it, after my dog's first walk, and get it out of the way before I do anything else. This doesn't always work when I have morning appointments and meetings to attend. I've even talked about scheduling exercise as I would any appointment, and yet, it shifts to the back burner.

I'm supposed to have a physical fitness test in less than 2 weeks, and I also have to get weighed in and must pass both events or I will have a negative mark on my record, which has severe consequences for my career. You would think that this would be enough to light a fire under my rear end, but it hasn't.

I know what I need to do and I know what to do, I can't get myself to do it.

Thank you for listening!



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