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CELTICLASSINLA's Photo CELTICLASSINLA SparkPoints: (13,334)
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2/22/18 4:21 P

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My new favorite is "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k" by Mark Manson. However if you have problems with the word itself, this is NOT the book for you. Great insights though. Otherwise you might want to look at Manson's list of "7 books that will change your life." I've read all of those - many a lifetime ago and it is all about adapting an attitude of flexibility.

Good luck - you can only be derailed by someone else if you value their opinion.



GETTHERE135's Photo GETTHERE135 Posts: 289
2/20/18 8:09 A

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Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply. Good suggestions.



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LADYREDCOMET SparkPoints: (119,104)
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2/19/18 7:34 P

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I like these suggestions from LifeHack: www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/30
-ways-practice-self-love-and-good-your
self.html


I have struggled off-and-on with this sort of thing for a long time, but at this point I can say this: for some people, self-love (or even self-acceptance) takes constant, consistent work and deliberate reinforcement. But you can change the way you think and the way you react to other people if you work at it. And it's very much worth the effort.



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ATHLETELORI's Photo ATHLETELORI Posts: 1,135
2/19/18 6:17 P

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I also highly recommend videos on YouTube from The Honest Guys. I use them a lot to help me sleep. www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I_gj-eMefU

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ATHLETELORI's Photo ATHLETELORI Posts: 1,135
2/19/18 6:15 P

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I'm also struggling with self-worth. I'm reading the book "You Are a Badass" by Jen Sincero. I really like it so far.

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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 12,004
2/19/18 4:27 P

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I agree with SLIMMERKIWI. It is one thing to read something. But unless you actively do something, like write out the points she mentioned, and box them, and just do stuff, it doesn't sink in in the same way.

I will add a checkmark to one of the books mentioned by ARCHIMEDESII:
"Stephen Covey - Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"

This book even has a wikipedia page!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habits_of_High
ly_Effective_People


The book is all about setting goals, some perhaps long term goals, and figuring out how to get there. In my mind the more you achieve under your own power, the better you feel, and less helpless, because you are driving things.

The "habits", things you do regularly, are:
1) Be proactive - don't sit and wait in receive mode,
2) Begin with the end in mind - Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it.

etc.

I really like the book, and it is very flexible, in the sense that anyone can benefit from it.


Edited by: -JAMES- at: 2/19/2018 (16:46)
James


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URBANREDNEK Posts: 3,409
2/19/18 11:15 A

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You might want to check with your employer or insurance company to see if Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is covered for you (it often is, since it is a proven tool for helping employees be more effective). For many of us who haven't yet learned constructive coping strategies for dealing with major stresses, this short-term and solution-based assistance can be priceless.

We have a bizarre stigma about getting help in learning about the finer points of caring for our mental health and approaches to life, so kudos to you for realizing that it is NOT something to be ashamed of (since, really, nobody knows EVERYTHING and it is not instinctive!) and reaching out for help. You obviously are much stronger than you think --- so keep it up, and keep taking steps to learn how to take the best care of you!

www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/cognit
ive-behavioral-therapy/about/pac-20384
610


www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH00724
81/


Sir Terry Pratchett:

"Science is not about building a body of known 'facts'. It is a method for asking awkward questions and subjecting them to a reality-check, thus avoiding the human tendency to believe whatever makes us feel good."


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GETTHERE135's Photo GETTHERE135 Posts: 289
2/19/18 10:16 A

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Great suggestion. Thank you!



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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (269,352)
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2/19/18 3:35 A



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I don't have any books to refer you to, but I do have a suggestion:

Affirmations!!!

Make a long list of them, i.e.
* I am good at what I do

* I will take control of my actions

* I am beautiful

* I am a hard worker

* I am just as good as others

* I am kind

* I don't sweat the small stuff

* I will not compare myself to others

* My body is healthy; my mind is brilliant; my soul is tranquil

* I acknowledge my own self-worth; my confidence is soaring

* Though these times are difficult, they are only a short phase of life

etc, etc.

When you have written them all down cut each one out individually and put them in a box. Draw one or two out each morning and night, stand in front of a mirror and read them out to yourself .... and BELIEVE THEM!!!!

If others try to say otherwise, just tell yourself that YOU know the truth and it is not what they are saying, then let it go.

Good luck,
Kris



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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan


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GETTHERE135's Photo GETTHERE135 Posts: 289
2/18/18 5:53 P

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Thank you! I guess I`d like to figure out how to stop consenting. I appreciate the suggestions.



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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (206,391)
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2/18/18 5:14 P



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There are a couple of books that have been around for ages that you may find helpful.

Dale Carnegie - How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
Stephen Covey - Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Tony Robbins - Awaken the Giant Within

Eleanor Roosevelt once said,"no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".




Edited by: ARCHIMEDESII at: 2/19/2018 (07:08)
GETTHERE135's Photo GETTHERE135 Posts: 289
2/18/18 3:01 P

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Does anyone have any suggestions of books to really help with self esteem/self worth? This is something I have been trying to work on in the past 6 months, but it seems like all it takes is for something to be said or done by another and it brings up all my insecurities and dashes all the good I thought about myself and leaves me feeling like a piece of *bleep*. I'd love to know of any that may have helped any of you. Thank you!



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