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KELLY_R's Photo KELLY_R Posts: 3,111
2/19/18 4:07 P

I know the desire to have an accountability partner, but realistically, that's a ton of pressure to put on someone, and you may end up with a resentment towards that person if you put the responsibility of your choices and weight on them and things don't go the way you wish they would.

You are ultimately the one who is responsible for your food and exercise choices. What I'm getting at is your long-term solution isn't going to be other people. It's going to be you.

That said, I DO agree that supportive friends and family are helpful to have around. And people who've been through the same things as you, who you can be completely intimately honest with are the ones who will champion you along. But remember they're human, too, and will likely disappoint you at some point in time.

Yes, I wish at times myself I had someone who would magically appear each time I reach for something I don't need and slap it out of my hand. But I know I'd start getting pretty irritated with them because they "just don't understand" that it was just one piece of chocolate in two weeks or whatever. lol

I shared in another message board that I ultimately found that successful weight loss isn't just about calories in vs. calories out. Mental health plays a huge role in it - if I'm centered, then it's easier for me to make healthy choices. When I'm off-balance, then that's when things get slippery and I start wanting to just sit on the couch and plow through a tub of ice cream.

What gets me off-balance? Could be any number of things - stress, hormones, boredom, self-pity, anxiety, etc. etc. I find that I ultimately need to work through those FEELINGS, sometimes with a trusted friend, in order to not fall into the trap of destructive eating and laziness.

Don't know if this made much sense. I hope you can take a breather and be willing to dig a little deeper into your challenges with food and weight.

Ultimately, I found that loving and respecting myself and my body were some of the best weight-control tools around.

2/10/18 2:53 P

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My advice would be to change your perspective. Instead of letting conversations (with friends, family and "inside your head") be directed towards weight loss, image, and "Not doing this or that, Not eating this or that, or having someone else "approve" of your decisions.... you can change your focus to Living a Healthy Lifestyle.

Look for positive changes you can make: add in healthy foods (6-9 servings of veggies/fruit which start replacing those not-so-good for you ones); decide to meet your balance of carbs/protein/fats and fiber; keep choosing just enough exercise to keep your muscles fit... etc. A positive Journey can be a lasting Journey, and when your motivation is positive rather than the Negative (I can't, I won't, I'm dieting, I shouldn't...) it becomes self motivating. Each good decision is a small success that builds on other successes.

I also suggest you followup on Kris's suggestion and talk with your doctor. If you are depressed, there is good help available. You can possibly ask about a depression support group as well...and being with others can be very beneficial. (Been there, done that---valued it!!) Please don't let yourself get into a downward spiral...reach out and reach up!!
All the best,

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 2/10/2018 (14:57)
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings

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PIXIEDUST22's Photo PIXIEDUST22 Posts: 1,245
2/9/18 7:34 P

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The initial post says she is 21 and just recently graduated.

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LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 28,708
2/9/18 7:19 P

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"Do you mind if I ask how old you are?"
She joined a team for 50+ year olds who have 25-50 pounds to lose.
Sure does not look that old to me!

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
PIXIEDUST22's Photo PIXIEDUST22 Posts: 1,245
2/9/18 4:31 P

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I agree with two posters below. Reality check! You are most definitely not fat or ugly, and if 50% of the conversations in your life currently have this as the topic, you need some new people in your life! If it's family that's the source and can't really be avoided, please focus on tuning them out and finding supportive friends who have better things to talk about! So, that's my first step/advice.

Secondly, I don't think you necessarily have body dysmorphia - you're certainly not what anyone here would call fat but I get the desire to be closer to the lower or middle of your recommended range instead of pushing the top of it and I think that's fine, as long as you go about it in a healthy way. I know some people disagree, but I don't think things like the Atkins diet (or the new trend, the Keto diet) are particularly healthy or sustainable for most people. I spent a lot of my teen years/early twenties trying random fad diets, losing like ten pounds quickly and then gaining it all back. Like you, I wasn't obese - just barely overweight for my height but felt much bigger when it felt like all my friends were size 2s and I was a 12.

When I finally had success and stopped yo yoing around, it was when I dropped the fad diets and just started counting calories, using this app. This was a revelation to me because it's really not that complicated, and it doesn't have to involve deprivation. I ate whatever I want to eat, but I do it within the budget that I have for each day. So that way there is no guesswork or agonizing over whether I should or should not have some snack. If I had room for it in my daily calorie allotment, I ate it, and I ate it with no guilt or worry. And I still had success! It was very liberating. I lost over 40 pounds this way.

Just track what you eat here, and you WILL see progress. If you totally change your life on day one and are too hard on yourself, it may well be too overwhelming and you'll give up. Start slow and just keep going. I know you're frustrated now, but you won't lose weight overnight so don't beat yourself up when you haven't lost 5 pounds by Monday. Progress will come! Weigh and measure yourself now and check in once a week. Stay within your calorie range. Move as much as you can. And be kind to yourself in the meantime.

Edited by: PIXIEDUST22 at: 2/9/2018 (16:34)

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ELEKTRA0412's Photo ELEKTRA0412 Posts: 4,141
2/9/18 3:43 P

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I agree with Kris. You are a beautiful girl. Maybe join a team here geared towards your fitness goals. Please be careful about giving out your personal information (phone number) to someone on-line that you don't know. This is a very friendly community. That being said, please be safe. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (283,578)
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2/7/18 12:29 A

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My Sweet - I certainly wouldn't class you as 'fat'!!!!

I suggest that you get your body fat tested. A lot of gyms do this for a small charge. Just ensure that they use skin-fold caliper tests (because the scales are notoriously inaccurate) and ask if the person doing it is properly qualified to do so. This will ensure an accurate reading.

Given that you say that 50% of your life and conversations revolve around your weight and how you look, AND that you have tried a pro-Ana diet (congratulations for realizing that they are not recommended) I would suspect that you suffer from a form of body dysmorphia which is when a person sees their body or some part of their body in a way that isn't actually reality.

You mention on your SparkPage that you don't want to feel ugly any more. Believe me - you are FAR from ugly. You are a VERY attractive young woman.

I suggest that you talk with your Dr.

If you are hungry, then you need to eat, and also to take a good look at what you have been eating prior which led to the hunger. Often it is one of these
Insufficient calories
Lack of quality carbs (think wholegrains)
Lack of fibre (fruit/veges)
Lack of lean protein
and, Lack of healthy fats.

If you can tweak your nutrition to ensure that you are eating within the ranges that SP has set you, you should be o.k. Also, if you get a lot of exercise in, do NOT eat right at the bottom of your range. SP recommends 1200 calories minimum for an average weight woman who is sedentary. Factor in exercise and you will need some more.


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I am not a Dr - please check with your qualified Health Professional for a diagnosis and treatment plan

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ACMEBODY's Photo ACMEBODY SparkPoints: (96)
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2/6/18 4:36 P

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Hey Gals,
I'm looking for a FEMALE fitness buddy and a weight loss accountability partner. Skype, texts, process pics and daily personalized motivation.
Currently: 146lbs (BMI 25.1- just overweight)
Lowest I've been: 130lbs (on Atkins)
Target: 122lbs (BMI 20.9- mid healthy zone)
F 21, 5ft 4in, just graduated

I'm sick of being fat, having 50% of my life and conversations be about my weight and how I look. Diets work but I gain it all back, I even went as far as to try a pro-Ana diet (I DO NOT RECOMMEND). I'm depressed and I feel like I don't have control. I need someone who has similar issues, goals so we can push each other till the target. I want this attempt at weight loss to be intense enough and bullet proof so it works for once! Need a fitness sister in my life.
E.g - If I'm hungry and am about to snack, I'll text you first and you can either okay it or help me get rid of the food craving.

P.S: Sorry if this sounds a bit too intense, I'm just really fed up of my body and how hard it is to lose and keep the pounds off. -sigh- emoticon

Edited by: ACMEBODY at: 2/6/2018 (16:37)
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