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WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/16/17 1:10 A

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WHITE-GREEN, thank you. My mom has had a hip replacement, my mom-in-law has had TWO and my mom should have both her knees replaced, but can't afford to. My mom is old and frail and never exercised or prioritized her health when she was younger. I will absolutely take this as a higher value thought, than whether or not I look "good". You are right. Function is better than form and I want to be able to spend many healthy, active years being able to play with my son. Thanks for the reality check.



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WHITE-GREEN's Photo WHITE-GREEN Posts: 2,970
11/15/17 12:48 P

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Personally, I would love to have legs that WORK and that I can walk on without pains and aches... I used to be jealous of women with a nice shape, but now that I get older I don't care - all I want is health....

So yes, please, be very grateful for what you have if your body works well. I so wish that all those years when I thought I 'hated to exercise', I'd taken a daily walk - now that I can only walk with pain. 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone', as they say.

Edited by: WHITE-GREEN at: 11/15/2017 (12:50)

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LIBERTYWALK's Photo LIBERTYWALK SparkPoints: (8,671)
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11/12/17 7:39 A

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As in all things, try to focus on the positive.

Identify your best feature and play it up. Maybe that woman with the shapely legs will be jealous of you!



The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. --Ralph Waldo Emerson

WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/8/17 2:02 A

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Way to go for the 4 miles! That's amazing and I'm totally motivated by you!



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ATHENA1966's Photo ATHENA1966 Posts: 4,044
11/7/17 10:01 P

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I think it is good to talk about it. I hate my legs. The reality is, that I will never have those unrealistic legs in magazines. Sometimes, we just need to vent! I'm jealous too. I am so proud that I can run 4 miles. emoticon

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh




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PCOH051610's Photo PCOH051610 SparkPoints: (92,666)
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11/6/17 2:52 P

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I'm sure we can all obsess over a particular body part or feature but it is time to embrace what you've been given and try to move on.



Newfoundland Standard Time (which is so unique Spark doesn't have it listed as an option)




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MEADSBAY's Photo MEADSBAY Posts: 14,422
11/6/17 2:26 P

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I’ve never had ‘good legs’ like two of my sisters, and like previous replies stated, the thigh gap is a totally new social media construct and I am willing to bet that 99% of men could care less about it!


elizabeth

*I will never~ever~ever give up!


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WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/6/17 2:11 A

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Thanks for all the encouraging comments! I am a bit of a nut sometimes, and I have a tendency to obsess over my weight loss efforts a little bit too psychotically.... but yes, HEALTH is the goal. In my case that is physical and mental health, but both are usually a bit of an uphill climb. I'm going to keep climbing, though. And Sparking!!! :)



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-JAMES-'s Photo -JAMES- Posts: 11,802
11/4/17 7:03 P

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WANNATHIN,
I'm so glad you are still around and interacting on this discussion.

First of all one's goal should be better health, if that means less body fat, so be it. But less body fat is not the real goal, health should be the goal.

So you've lost quite a bit so far, congratulations. Keep going on your next goal of about 20 more, but don't stress on it. Just eat healthier.

James


All time highest weight : 217 pounds

Starting weight : 195.0 pounds (June 7, 2012)
Final weight : 168.2 pounds (July 23, 2013)


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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (85,973)
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11/4/17 12:37 P

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Go For It..!
By the way...congrats on losing those 36 lbs! I think you will also find that focusing on becoming stronger will make losing the last 19 lbs much easier. I've found that I can only (happily) cut back my eating so much. So in this last "10# to lose" phase, exercise has become more important in my Journey. Eating right still is priority Number 1, but consistently moving helps keep the effects of little splurges in check. And besides, I FEEL so much better now-- that's the Big Win!!All the best,
patti


Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


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WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/4/17 3:36 A

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Wise words! I am taking in everyone's comments and trying to be kinder to myself. I once wrote about focusing more about what my body is capable of and how strong I could be, rather than how thin. I think I lost sight of that and need to refocus on what's really important.



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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (85,973)
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11/3/17 10:40 P

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I've never had thin legs...and couldn't care less. My feet were always too wide for those fancy expensive tall boots anyway--LOL

Now that I'm older...I'm actually rather proud that my larger healthy calves can get my up to 7000' on Mt Rainier trails, take me on a 5 day backpack trip in Alaska, and a week long bike ride over 300 miles!! And I got the greatest compliment from another rider who happened to be a doctor: "wow---your calf muscles are really well defined..."

Your happiness in Life depends on your point of view: change your perspective and lose the jealousy! All the best on your Journey,
patti

Patti
"The only thing we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf: Lord of the Rings


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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (205,221)
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11/3/17 12:40 P



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WANNATHIN,

Raquel Welch and Twiggy are good examples of what men consider attractive and what the fashion industry considers attractive.

Over the years, the models for the fashion industry have gotten thinner and thinner and thinner. They no longer represent what a real woman looks like. But once again, very rarely do real women sell products. It's almost always a super lean woman with perfect teeth, hair, makeup, legs, etc.

It takes a lot of money to look good these days. So don't beat yourself because you don't look like a model in a magazine or an icon on instagram. Most of us don't look like that.

I had to look up bikini bridge too when I saw an article about it on yahoo. It was the latest LOOK AT ME trend on social media. this is why women are so hard on themselves. they don't feel they can compete with the women on social media or the magazines. And it's true, we can't because we don't have the money or resources to devote our lives to being perfect.

Trust me, perfection takes an awful lot of work. You know, if you look at old pictures of Raquel Welch, you'll see cellulite. No one cared !!! The men certainly didn't. Today, if she was a model she'd be told to lose 15 pounds !!


WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/3/17 10:52 A

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I Googled bikini bridge and came across some rather racy photos!! But now I know what it is and DAMMIT I have one too (I have to suck my stomach in until I can't breathe, but I have one!!!) hahahahahahaha!~



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LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 27,503
11/3/17 10:44 A

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bikini_bridge

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (266,371)
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11/3/17 7:03 A



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Hahahaha .... I was wondering what a bikini bridge is, too

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WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/3/17 6:36 A

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Thank you! That does make me feel better! I know that I should be grateful for everything I've achieved and how much better I look and feel, but sometimes I just can't help wishing I looked different. I will try to remember that everyone views beautiful / sexy / attractive in a different light and focus on finding what I DO like about me.

But just one question... What the heck is a bikini bridge???!!! I have never heard that expression!



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ARCHIMEDESII's Photo ARCHIMEDESII SparkPoints: (205,221)
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11/3/17 6:14 A



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WANNATHIN,

Raquel Welch and Twiggy were both considered the "perfect" woman during the 1960s.





They represent how extreme ideals of beauty can be. The same is true today. Thigh gab is a social media INVENTION. There are woman on social media who post pictures of themselves to get attention. Thigh gap is one way they do it.

"look at me! look at my thigh gap! look at my bikini bridge! look at my Brazillian butt lift!"

This isn't reality. No one wants to see women with cellulite or sagging boobs. And yet, over 95% of the women of the world have cellulite. That's the problem, cellulite doesn't sell magazines. Fantasy sells magazines and beauty products and clothing and make up and all that other stuff that helps a woman look perfect.

Well, perfection is an illusion. Most women don't have a thigh gap. Beautiful women come in all different shapes and sizes.

Personally, I'm tired of having to try to be something I'm not just because "social media" says in order to be beautiful, I should have a thigh gap or bikini bridge.

No way, no how ! I appreciate my body for what it can do and don't worry that I don't look like model. I'm not perfect and I never will be. And I'm okay with that.

KIMOKIKO's Photo KIMOKIKO SparkPoints: (643)
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11/3/17 12:45 A

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Let me tell you, I feel your post about the legs. I have had tree stump legs for most of my life. I was very into exercise for a lot of my younger years and I did get some muscular legs, but I didn't like the way they looked because I thought they were too thick. I couldn't wear boots in my size because of my calves. I wished I had slim calves like practically everyone else.

I went on WW after my last child at 43 years old and I lost a good amount of weight and became the slimmest of my life. All of a sudden I had the legs I always wanted! BUT the cost was eating less than 2 cups of food a day and being constantly vigilant. I wanted ice cream and other treats on occasion. So, in my experience, you absolutely can reshape your body through diet and fitness activities, but imo it is far better to be at peace with your body and enjoy your life. I get it though, I really do. I won't wear shorts when I am fluffy because I carry my weight evenly over my body and my legs hold on to the extra the longest (and my tummy).

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.


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LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 27,503
11/2/17 1:50 P

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Maybe instead of being jealous for what you don't have, you can be grateful for what you DO have.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."
~ Randy Pausch

"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results."
~ Art Turock

"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good."
~ 7 Years in T
SPARK_COACH_JEN's Photo SPARK_COACH_JEN Posts: 66,227
11/2/17 6:49 A

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Personally, I'd rather have strong legs with muscle definition than a thigh gap. I've learned to accept that my body isn't perfect and has definitely changed after having 4 kids, but I can still be proud of what it is and what it can do for me :)

Coach Jen

"You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call "failure" is not the falling down but the staying down." Mary Pickford

"No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch."
WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/2/17 5:38 A

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Thanks for your comment. I do think that what I see in the mirror isn't what others see when they look at me, but I haven't been able to change that in nearly 40 years of life. I will hope to change my shape then, as you have. Gotta just keep working.



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SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (266,371)
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11/2/17 5:15 A



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Having a 'thigh gap' is just a fad. I personally don't like them all the way to the top. To me, and it might sound crude, but it looks like they might have wet themselves and are feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Don't be so sure in thinking that what you have now re shape will just be a smaller version of it when you have lost weight. I can tell you from experience that sometimes the person's shape DOES change. Mine certainly has, and the change continued long after I reached my goal (a few years ago).

A lot of women have stretch marks on their legs and a lot of those people wear shorts, too, but most people don't notice them because there are far more important things to notice. The trick is to choose the clothes that suit you in style and colour and enhance your good points. Sometimes if a person has a skewed opinion on their 'looks' etc., as you seem to have, then it is wise to have someone with good taste with you when you try your clothes, AND to ensure that they are a proper fit.

Kris

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WANNATHIN's Photo WANNATHIN Posts: 1,026
11/2/17 3:45 A

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I have NEVER been the kind of girl who could wear short shorts and feel good about my legs. NEVER. EVER. I have also NEVER EVER had a thigh gap all the way to the top and I have large saddle bags on both my upper thighs, no matter how hard I work out or how muscular my legs get. I had them even at my lowest weight and when I was at my fittest and most active!! Therefore, I am perfectly aware of the fact that this is my SHAPE and I will be a smaller version of this shape, but never change my shape without liposuction. I have also lost and gained and lost weight so many times, that the skin on my upper inner thighs is full of stretch marks and very weak, so I will never have the legs for short shorts. I can't change that, so I HAVE to accept it.

But how oh how do I NOT look at women with wonderfully shapely legs, thigh gaps that go all the way to the top in short shorts and attract the attention of men, without feeling monumentally JEALOUS and wishing that was me?????



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